6
People walking by are starting to stare at Grimm, who’s sitting in her wheelchair, knees cradled to her chest and pouting.
“Hey, Grimm, just because you’re undead doesn’t mean it’s not surprising when you almost die on me, so can you try to be a little more careful?”
“And whose fault do you think that is?! I was so happy… It was the first time someone had liked me since my childhood sweetheart sent me a love letter when I was little…! Heck, I still keep that love letter as a precious memento. That’s how important it was to me!”
I’m pretty sure Rose used that love letter as an offering when bringing Grimm back to life…
Grimm hasn’t quite settled down from her excitement. She keeps touching the object around her neck, even as she grumbles. The necklace is cheap, and she glares balefully each time she spots a couple walking down the street.
“Cheer up already. I told you I didn’t know anything about this kingdom’s laws or customs. And you said you didn’t expect anything from me in that area. How was I supposed to know that necklaces are an engagement token? I’d never heard of that.”
“I didn’t know you were such a numbskull, Commander! Necklaces imply things like I’m attached to you or I’m putting a collar around you to claim you as my own . You’re such a womanizer! A womanizer unaware of how much damage he does!”
Oh, c’mon…
“I’m not trying to seduce you, you know; you’re just too clingy.”
“How can you say that? After treating me so sweetly! And as a reward for causing me a little trouble? Sure, you made me buy you all those drinks at the bars and wandered home after hitting on another woman. Still, that’s not enough to merit a necklace. Oh, you’re most certainly a womanizer! If you can’t take responsibility, don’t be so sweet to me!”
That wasn’t what I meant in terms of trouble, but…
“Oh, whatever; I’m sorry. Now give me back that necklace, I’ll go trade it for another piece of jewelry.”
“Commander, what are you talking about?! Not only are you going to disappoint me, you’re going to rob me of my necklace as well?! I was planning to celebrate the first necklace I ever received as a gift, but I guess I’m not allowed such a fleeting moment of joy, am I?”
Oh, for the love of— This chick is a pain in the ass!
“If we’re both single a decade from now, I’ll take you, all right? Now look at me, please.”
Grimm, who had been looking away and pouting in her wheelchair, suddenly turns her head toward me.
“What do you mean ‘take me’? Just who do you think you are?! And a decade?! You’re saying that I still won’t be married by then?! You better sign a real contract saying you’ll marry me in ten years if we’re both single!”
“You really are a handful. This is what I mean by ‘clingy.’”
Producing a sheet of paper out of who knows where, Grimm begins writing.
Is she seriously drawing up a contract?
Wondering where she got the piece of paper, I look closely at the wheelchair and notice a little accessory bag on its side.
Peering inside, I see signed forms for marriage applications.
“…Just so we’re clear, I do have someone I like. So don’t get your hopes up too much.”
“You have someone already, and yet you were hitting on me? Just what is wrong with you, Commander? Still, I don’t mind. Whoever she is, I’m sure she’ll dump you.”
Does she want to get smacked?
“Stamp your blood print here… Hmm, ten years is a really long time, isn’t it? Surely there’s a way we can speed things along?”
“Nope, not at all. And you do recognize that the way you stamp your blood print without hesitation is part of why no one wants you, right?”
Seriously, she’d be a catch if it weren’t for the cursing, the clinginess, and the overall sense of desperation.
“I’m not someone who just wants to marry the first man who comes up, you know. I’m only saying this because I don’t dislike you, Commander. Like I said earlier, you treat Rose like a normal person. That really is attractive. Now write your name here and stamp your blood print here.”
“You know, you’re almost charming when the subject’s Rose. Why can’t you just keep that going?”
I ignore Grimm’s constant nagging to press my blood print and instead just put my signature onto the contract.
“All right, you feel better now? Why don’t we start on keeping the peace around town?”
“I can’t quite accept that you won’t sign in blood, but oh well. I’ll curse you if you break your promise. All right, let’s go tackle the problems one by one.”
First, Grimm leads us to the park we’ve been staying at.
Grimm glances around, seeming to have noticed something. Then she nods.
“Here’s our first stop. Apparently, a doll burst into flame. Usually, that would be impossible. But since we’re in the middle of the Undead Festival, I actually have a theory. Someone who had powerful magical abilities in life became a spirit and…”
“Oh, that was Heine dressed up in an animal suit. She put on a costume and snuck in. When we tried to pin her, she set her costume on fire with her powers.”
……
“Why didn’t you say that earlier?! I look like an idiot for taking it seriously.”
“You can’t put that on me. You were the one who was so sure of herself. If anything, you should be praising me for stopping Heine after she snuck into the city!”
Grimm starts bumping into my legs but eventually regains her composure.
“O-of course, you’re right; you were defending the city, Commander… Oh well, to the next spot!”
With that, we make our way toward the next scene.
Our next stop was…
“Here. For some reason, the prime rib left in front of a stuffed animal in this estate keeps disappearing.”
As I feared, it’s the old man’s house where Rose is.
Grimm approaches the gatekeeper and calls out.
“I’m Grimm, the administrator for the Undead Festival. I’m here to investigate reports of unexplained supernatural phenomena.”
“Oh, you’re here at last! Please come inside. The master keeps saying it’s just Patrasche eating the food, but of course, there’s no way a stuffed animal can eat…”
As we’re led inside, there on the sofa, a stuffed animal is lying around like a cat, happily indulging in head pats from the old man.
Seeing this, Grimm’s expression twitches. “…Rose?”
“?!”
The doll flinches, sensing that the jig is up.
Noticing the sharp reaction, the old man petting Rose looks over at us. “Ah, guests? Oh, you were here the other day…!”
“Wait, you’ve met before?! Commander, what’s going on?”
“It’s exactly what it looks like.”
My immediate reply tells Grimm everything she needs to know, and she frowns.
“That’s Rose, isn’t it? We’ve known each other too long for you to trick me! …Stop—you can’t fool me by walking on all fours and pretending to be a pet.”
She glares at Rose who begins to put on an elaborate act next to the old man.
“Just what do you think you’re doing? This is disrespectful to the dead! Stop messing around. We’re going home.”
As Grimm tries to make her way to Rose, the old man steps in front of her.
“What are you doing? Who said you could barge into my home and yell at Patrasche?”
“What do you mean, Patrasche? That’s Rose.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! How do you explain this strength if this isn’t Patrasche? All my servants who held on to doubt were thoroughly convinced after he tackled them. Whatever you might say, this is Patrasche. This is our Patrasche!”
Rose stands up, and I remember she was raised by her grandpa and has been thoroughly spoiled as of late.
She turns to Grimm—
“Eeep! Wh-what are you doing, Rose?! You know what’ll happen if you do this— Ow! Ow, ow! Okay, okay, Patrasche! You’re not Rose; you’re Patrasche! I won’t say anything else, so please let me go!”
After Patrasche tackles her and puts her into a choke hold, Grimm quickly taps out. It seems Patrasche will be staying here for the rest of the festival.
She really enjoys doing nothing but eating, lazing around, and getting spoiled by an old man.
As soon as she’s released, Grimm hides behind my back.
“You better watch out, Rose! Once the Undead Festival’s over, I’ll curse you so that you can’t eat anything for a whole day… I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Commander, let’s go to our next stop.” Grimm suddenly starts speaking faster, as though trying to avoid the doll that’s suddenly started rushing toward her.
After leaving the old man’s manor, we find ourselves at Tillis’s place.
“Late at night, there’s been creepy shadows making their way toward the castle…”
“Oh, those were our Combat Agents. Until a few days ago, sneaking into Tillis’s room without waking her was the big thing for our guys.”
Grimm casts a questioning gaze in my direction. “…Commander? So far, all the incidents have involved people we know. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about the other reports, would you?”
“The only other thing I can think of is that Snow was caught for being the ringleader of that rip-off hostess club… Hey, don’t sleep here; at least get in your wheelchair.”
Grimm collapses in a heap, falling from the wheelchair to the ground.
“Seriously…? I put in all this effort, running around trying to solve these problems, and they’re all caused by people I know…! About the only thing left is the shady stall selling mystery meat…”
I’m tempted to tell her that she’s already eaten a skewer from that shop, but I’m pretty sure she’d yell at me for not saying something sooner.
“Which is why I bought you that necklace. Given how happy you were at first, we’re even, right?”
“Of course not! If I’d known you’d done all this, I would’ve asked for something fancier!”
Just as Grimm starts yelling at me, the nearby dolls move to surround us.
“See?! They all agree with me! They’re here to protest your poor treatment!”
“This is the cutest protest I’ve ever seen. I won’t surrender to this. If anything…”
Just as I start to comment on the dolls around us, Grimm’s empty wheelchair gets swatted aside and makes a loud crash.
I look over to see what’s going on—
“Hey, Commander, who’s inside that one? I promise not to get mad if you’ll tell me.”
“I…I really don’t know this time! I don’t know anyone that fancy!”
Standing there is a cat-shaped stuffed animal holding a metal club.
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