5
Settling the frontier is…
“Screw this place! I’m going back to Earth!”
“I understand how you feel, Six, but calm down. If you return to Earth with a negative point total, you’ll get punished. More importantly…”
Alice looks at the things surrounding us.
“So these are the zombies you mentioned. Wonder how they’re moving? Are they animated by some sort of parasites? Or maybe they’re robots on the inside…?”
“Forget about the analysis and do something about them!”
As our fortress approaches completion, a horde of zombies has emerged from the forest to surround it.
The other agents are here today, but these odds aren’t good.
Upon closer inspection, it’s clear I’m not the only one afraid of zombies.
Rose and Russell, the Chimera pair with a keen sense of smell, are frozen by the awful stench. And all the other agents have no motivation to fight.
“Fighting’s the whole point of being an agent, isn’t it? Why are you all cowering back here anyway?”
“Zombies are our natural predators. You’ve seen zombie movies, right? Guys like us are the first to die. The more zombies you kill, the more gruesome your fate. Then there’s the fact that they splatter when you shoot them. That’s pieces of rotting human. Pretty sure my appetite’s gone for the night if I see that.”
As we’re caught up in debate, the horde of zombies begins climbing over the fence.
Just then, Snow inserts herself between the zombies and the rest of us, staring them down.
“Hrmph! How pathetic. Shambling zombies are no match for my blade.”
Despite her usual uselessness, Snow makes her declaration with an inspiring bit of confidence. But she keeps casting small glances toward Alice…
“Fine, fine. If you beat them, you can have a bonus. Our Combat Agents are apparently afraid of dumb superstitions. And they’re supposed to be evil henchmen? Pathetic. You damn chickens!”
Snow rushes in, letting out an odd cry of happiness at those words.
“Don’t call us chickens!” I snap at Alice. “Our evil nature is what makes us afraid. If there’s zombies and ghosts, that means there’s an afterlife. Given how much evil we’ve done, that means we’re all headed straight to hell. That’s why we Combat Agents are so hard to kill and cling so hard to life.”
“If you’re a Kisaragi Combat Agent, you should be treating hell like another place to conquer. But at this rate, we’re never going to finish our construction,” Alice says, looking over to Snow.
Motivated by the prospect of a bonus, Snow is wreaking havoc among the rotting zombies, ignoring the spray of rotting blood and flesh.
“Looks like she’s completely given up on being a woman…”
“Combat Agents should be like that. You’re less useful than the natives.”
Snow’s returning the zombies to their maker using a flaming magic blade; that must mean she’s bought her Flame Whatever III.
Although she’s rarely much use against powerful enemies, I guess she wasn’t a knight captain for nothing. She’s making quick work of the zombies.
A truly momentous occasion. We should give her a little encouragement.
“Good work, Snow! Just what we’d expect from Grace’s greatest swordswoman! We can’t handle zombies! I’ll let Tillis know you are worth your weight in gold!”
“…?! T-truly?! You better be serious! Feel free to exaggerate the number of zombies in your report, too!” Encouraged by my words, Snow continues her rampage, eyes glittering happily.
And it seems she’s come to the conclusion that her armor is just weighing her down against the slow zombies, unfastening her equipment to lighten her load.
With each swing of her sword, the boob knight places more and more emphasis on showing off her assets, leading my coworkers to enthusiastically cheer her on.
“Good work, otherworlder! You’re awesome!”
“I’m impressed! I owe you a drink later!”
“Keep the show going!”
Snow, aware of the skills of the average Kisaragi Combat Agent through regularly interacting with us, looks surprised at the praise they’re giving her.
Eventually, she begins to smirk…
“Tsk, it’s just zombies, boys! Leave them to me! You can just watch from over there!”
“Whoa! Look at that!”
“What a sight! She’s at least Lady Astaroth…no, Lady Belial class!”
Thoroughly egged on by the cheering, Snow eliminates the zombies, returning with a satisfied expression on her face.
“To cower in front of mere zombies in spite of your usual strength, sheesh! All right! If you ever run into zombies, leave them to me! I’ll wipe them out for you!”
Alice and I head over to welcome the giddy Snow back.
“Good work, Tittania.”
“I’m impressed, Tittania. I’ll make sure you get an extra bonus.”
“Stop calling me that! …Say, Six, I wanted to ask you. What did my admirers mean when they said I was Lady Belial class…?”
“Lady Belial is one of my superiors and one of our Supreme Leaders. She’s the head of Kisaragi’s combat division and possesses the highest power level in our organization.”
She’s also got the biggest cup size in Kisaragi.
“Th-they think I’m equal to such a person? I feel like that’s a bit of an exaggeration… B-but it’s not a bad feeling.”
Tittania smirks, evidently quite pleased at being compared to someone like that.
“I feel it’s a fair comparison. Given your age and growth potential, you’re perfectly in Lady Belial’s class.”
“Y-you think so? Well, if you’re willing to go that far. I—I mean, I did climb to knight captain. I’m pretty confident in my blade skills.”
Tittania, who is actually pretty easy to manipulate, happily swings her sword around.
Just then…
“We’ve got a fresh batch! Hey! We’ve got another load of zombies coming out of the forest!” shouts the Combat Agent keeping watch on the forest.
Looking over in that direction, I catch sight of a few hundred zombies emerging from the forest heading straight to the hideout…!
“All right, it’s time for you to shine. Go show us what you’re made of!”
“Don’t be ridiculous! I can’t handle that many. Let me in!”
Quickly giving up on stopping the zombies, Snow starts yelling and rattling the fence surrounding the hideout.
“Of course you disappoint the moment I have a little faith in you. You’re as useless as ever, Tittania!”
“That’s fine! I’ll be Tittania! Just let me in! Please! There’s way too many of them!” Tittania pleads tearfully.
“Ohhh? Seems you’ve finally come to terms with your worth, eh? Well, in that case, I suppose I can help you. But listen. You better treat me with the respect due to a superior. Second, you better obey my orders! When I say show off your boobs, you bend forward, got it? Next…”
…?
I swear there’s an animal suit out there in the forest.
No, wait, that’s a giant cat plushie…
Just as I narrow my eyes and focus my gaze to get a better look in that direction…
“Hey, Six! You staying behind? We’re ditching this place for now! Get a move on!”
…Alice calls out to me from a distance, as I’d stayed at the hideout to taunt Snow.
…A distance?
“Wait, you’re all out already?! Snow, you’re supposed to be a knight, right? Hold them off for us!”
“I’m a woman before I’m a knight! I totally wouldn’t mind if you let me leave first! You should hold them off!”
“Don’t try to play the woman card at times like this! Alice, help!”
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