Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 3 - Chapter 1.5

5 

The Cursed Forest near the kingdom of Grace—a land damned and abandoned by the locals, infested with monsters and mysterious tribes of barbarians. 

We’ve arrived in the forest after a few arguments along the way. We’re now looking for the flower in question. 

“Hey, you two, that white flower’s the one we’re looking for. Frail old me will wait here while you go pick them.” Grimm makes a ludicrous demand at the entrance to the forest. 

“Yeah…no.” 

“It’s not like I can do anything about it. I can’t go in there with my wheelchair.” 

“That reminds me. You can walk just fine. You don’t need that wheelchair. You can get by without shoes.” 

The backlash from a curse she cast a long time ago left her unable to wear shoes, which leaves me wondering why the hell she tried a curse like that to begin with. 

“Wheelchairs are pretty convenient, you know. I don’t have to expend any effort because other people push me around, and you’d think I was a frail, sickly beauty at first glance, right?” 

“People with actual disabilities might have a problem with that, you know,” I say with an exasperated sigh. 

Rose tugs lightly at my sleeve. 

“Boss, I think Grimm’s fine the way she is. It’s a hassle to move her around when she’s sleeping during the day. Not to mention the fact that she dies the moment you take your eyes off her, so it’s easier to carry her around with a wheelchair.” 

“You know, I’ve been meaning to talk about how you treat me while I’m dead…” 

Rose and I wander around under the moonlight, picking the flowers Grimm wanted. 

We’re still at the entrance to the forest, but I hear random cries from time to time. 

I can’t wait to get out of here and grab a drink. 

“Hey, Grimm, it doesn’t have to be fancy, but make sure you take me to a place where I can drink with beautiful women, okay?” 

“…? Huh? What are you talking about?” 

“I’m okay with something cheap so long as I get to eat a lot.” 

“What are you two talking about?! Wait…am I supposed to take you two out after we’re done here?! But this is work for the kingdom!” 

At that moment, I hear something crawling toward us. It’s probably reacting to Grimm’s yelling. 

Rose and Grimm fall quiet. They seem to have noticed the creatures moving to surround us. 

“Why do you always make things so difficult? Oh well—don’t worry about it. Kisaragi operatives don’t abandon their comrades. Besides, cleaning up an incompetent lackey’s mess is part of my job description.” 

“Now wait just a minute! Sure, it’s probably my yelling that drew them over, but still!” 

“I’ve gotten used to cleaning up after Grimm. Hey, Grimm, I’d like five extra-large servings of yakiniku .” 

“All right, all right! I’m sorry. Thanks for always protecting me and resurrecting me!” 

I look at the sobbing Grimm out of the corner of my eye before staring into the darkness… 

“Looks like six enemy humanoids. I’ll take three; you two deal with the rest.” I draw my knife from my back holster and brace myself. 

Rose steps up next to me and cracks her knuckles. “Roger. I’ll take two! You can count on me when it comes to fighting!” 

It’s times like this I’m glad to have a Battle Chimera at my side. 

So that leaves one more… 

“Wait, what?! I can’t fight directly, so you shouldn’t include me in your head count!” 

…… 

“…Oh, for the love of—! Fine, whatever! I’ll take four of them! Sheesh, Grimm, you’re useless!” 

“Please don’t say that! You just need to remember my great powers have to be used at the right time and place! You can’t waste curses on random minions…” 

As Grimm starts to make her excuses, Rose, who had been twitching her nose, falls silent with a serious expression on her face. 

Rose’s change in attitude makes me distinctly uneasy, but I shine my light toward the hostile creatures. 

Even though I can see in the dark, it’s always better to fight with sufficient light. 

I want to catch a glimpse of who is lurking around out here… 

“Graaaaaahhh!” 

“Aiiiiieeeeee!” 

The light reveals a rotting corpse. 

After letting out a threatening roar, the corpse reacts to my scream by shambling toward me. 

“A z-zombie?! That’s a zombie, right? America’s favorite monster?!” 

I mean, I guess it’s not surprising there’s zombies in a world with demons and ghosts. 

It’s not surprising, but… 

“I don’t know what America is, but please calm down, Boss.” 

“I don’t care how strong they are! It’s how they look that’s a problem! Gotta calm down. I’m an elite Kisaragi operative. I-I’m not a-afraid. Sorry, corpse, but I’m gonna cremate you with a flamethrower!” 

With the blank-faced zombie in front of me, I attempt to use my wrist device to order a flamethrower… 

<Weapon Deployment Is Currently Restricted> 

Gaaaaaah! 

“Rose! Let’s switch! I’m tagging out! I can’t fight zombies! Switch out with me! Please!” 

“B-B-Boss! Don’t push me toward them! I-I’m actually not good with zombies, either…! My sense of smell is too strong! I think I’m gonna pass out…!” 

Just then… 

“Hold on. Leave this to me.” 

Wearing an unusually serious expression, Grimm gets up from her wheelchair. 

“Hey, Grimm, what’s going on? Acting cool won’t make you stronger. There’s no need to keep putting yourself on the line for the sake of a few laughs.” 

“Boss, don’t spoil an opportunity for Grimm to shine. She’s just excited because it’s such a rare occasion.” 

“Shut up! Unless you two want to get cursed, just let me handle this.” She begins walking barefoot on the soil, then turns toward us, her lips curled into a sad smile… 

“I haven’t told you yet, have I, Commander? …I…I, um…I’m not quite human anymore. I’m a bit like them, like the undead…” 

“Ahhh, gotcha. So that’s why you can regrow your head after it gets knocked off.” 

“I’m making a pretty big confession here! Can’t you take this a little more seriously? Also, could you not treat my head like it’s some lizard’s tail? Anyway, let me handle them, okay?” Grimm huffs angrily as she approaches the zombies. 

And then… 

“Good evening… A lovely night, isn’t it?” Grimm smiles gently at the rotting corpses, speaking to them as though greeting friends. 

…Oh yeah, I guess Zenarith or whatever is in charge of the undead. 

“Should be fine now, Boss. The undead actually like Grimm. She’s probably got this.” 

“Are you sure? It’s hard to imagine her being useful.” 

Leaving us to our conversation, Grimm walks up to the shambling horde with a serene smile on her face… 

“Graaah!” 

“Oof!” 

…and ends up getting smacked across the face by a zombie. 

“Huh?! G-Grimm, what just happened?! Oh! Boss, don’t look at me like that. I wouldn’t lie about that! She can usually talk them out of attacking! I swear! This is the first time I’ve seen this happen with her…” 

Just seems like business as usual with Grimm to me. 

“W-wait! I’m not your enemy! I’m Miss Grimm! Undead Idol! Ow! That hurt! H-how dare you do that to an Archbishop of Zenarith… C-Commander! Commander! Rose! Help!” 

The self-professed Undead Idol is surrounded by zombies who begin beating the shit out of her. 

“Why don’t we start by burning them? Use your fire breath.” 

“Awww… But zombies smell so bad when you burn them…” 

“A cute maiden’s getting attacked by these abominations! Hurry up and help!” 

I’d love to help her and all, but if I shoot the zombies surrounding her, I’ll end up hitting Grimm as well. 

Rose’s flame isn’t exactly precise, either. If she were to attack now, we’d end up with seven charred bodies. 

“You know… I really don’t want to hit those things with my bare hands. Can you get me a stick?” 

“Understood. The smell makes it hard for me to get close. Can I leave them to you, Boss? …Oh, hey, that’s a weird-looking mushroom. I think I’ll boil it as a snack when I get home.” 

“Forget it! I’ll deal with them myself! Watch carefully. I’ll show you the power of an archbishop! O Great Lord Zenarith! Remove your blessing of undeath from this place and return all things to how they should be!” 

That is definitely the most magicy spell I’ve seen on this planet. 

A blue-white magic circle appears on the ground, and light erupts toward the sky. 

I briefly feel the presence of something otherworldly before it all scatters into the air, leaving silence in its wake. 

Then the zombies who had been attacking Grimm freeze in place… 

Like puppets suddenly cut free from their strings, the seven undead collapse to the ground. 

“…Um, did our resident undead just kill herself?” 

“…I hope the usual ritual can fix this…” 

A few minutes outside the city, there’s a cavern housing a shady-looking altar. 

Rose and I have come to this cave to resurrect Grimm…again. 

“I brought lots of offerings this time because of how she died. I hope it’ll be enough…” 

Rose looks uneasy despite the large number of sentimental objects before her. 

“Considering the fact that she dispelled the blessing from her own god, yeah… If it were me, I’d just abandon her and forget the whole thing ever happened.” 

“Well, Grimm’s been forgiven for dumb uses of her powers in the past. S-so I’m sure it’ll be okay this time, too…” 

I can tell she doesn’t believe it, either. 

The moonlight shines in from the hole in the center of the cavern, illuminating Grimm’s body. 

At the same time, the sacrificial offerings begin vanishing with flashes of light. 

“Boss, looks like we’re short on offerings, which is weird because I even threw in the love letter from her childhood friend that Grimm was so fond of showing off when she was drunk…” 

“Ah, fine. I’ll add a few, too…” 

I take out my wallet and pull out some rare coins and a pachinko ball I kept as a good luck charm after a particularly large jackpot. 

As the light consumes the items, Grimm’s body twitches violently to life. 

“Ah! Looks like that did it.” 

“…Uh, still seems like something’s wrong.” 

Despite the movement, Grimm has yet to open her eyes. 

“H-how dare you… Calling yourself Zenarith… Blasphemy… I’m a devout follower…” Grimm begins to mutter and moan, as if haunted by a nightmare. 

“I bet you she’s getting a lecture from her god.” 

“…This happens from time to time after Grimm dies in a stupid way…”