Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 2 - Chapter 1.4

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The wilderness of this world is ruthless. 

Much of the continent is covered in red wasteland, while the greener areas are covered with deep woodlands filled with deadly ecosystems. 

Snow and I are here in these dangerous woodlands… 

“ Look, Six ,” Snow whispers. “There’s a mokemoke! It’s delicious when boiled! Let’s go over and grab it!” 

“Mokemoke my ass! Why does something so deadly looking have such a cute name? It’s more likely to eat us than the other way around!” 

We’re hiding among the leaves in the heavily wooded area, watching a dangerous giant creature. 

Basically, it’s a crawfish the size of a storage shed. 

It looks to have caught a similarly gigantic snake between its pincers. 

“Mokemoke meat loses its gaminess and becomes tender after a nice long boil. The reason they’re called mokemokes is because of their cry…” 

“Thank you for the explanation, but let’s focus on staying hidden for now, ’kay?” 

Alice closely watches this battle of the beasts, filming it with her digital camera. “The life-forms on this planet really love ignoring the laws of physics. There’s no way crustaceans can grow that big. So which one’s the mokemoke?” 

“The thing with the pincers is the mokemoke. The one that’s about to be eaten is a supopocchi. They’re pretty tasty, too.” 

“Can we stop with the commentary and get out of here before they find us?” I plead to the pair with a look of desperation. 

“Ah. Look at that, Six, the supopocchi’s fighting back. It appears this planet’s snakes don’t constrict their prey. Seems they smack them with their tails instead. Fascinating.” 

“We’re in luck. Supopocchis don’t do that move very often.” 

“Could you at least stop repeating that name? It makes us sound stupid. Haven’t we seen enough here, Alice? Can we move on?” 

Sure, this is a Kisaragi-assigned mission, but I’m more than ready to head home. 

Fighting back tears, I gingerly turn my back to move away from this spot when a triumphant cry of “ Mokemoke! ” rings out from behind us— 

“—Snow, what’s with the supopocchi hanging from that tree? Is something that lives here making dried meat out of it?” 

“Ah, that? That’s how the Bashin tribe marks its territory.” 

“Let’s go home! That can’t be good! Are you two missing your sense of self-preservation or something? That looks like a creepy sacrifice!” 

With the mokemoke far behind us, we come across the shocking sight of a supopocchi with its head bashed in. It hangs limply from a tree. 

“The Bashin tribe are a very aggressive tribe of barbarians. They’re highly territorial and tough enough to survive in these woods. Their name comes from the fact that they bash in heads with blunt instruments…” 

“This is hardly the time for an anthropology lesson! Something’s been following us. If they’re that territorial, we should get out of here ASAP. What the hell is wrong with you two today? Usually you’re much more eager to run away!” 

I nudge Snow along, hoping to urge her to get out of here. 

“I’m a professional, Six. Sure, I’ve half assed some things given the pittance the kingdom pays me. But with how much Alice is paying? You better believe I’ll fulfill my duty. My commitment to promises secured with money is ironclad.” 

So she’s admitting she won’t follow through on all other commitments? 

Suddenly… 

Loud thumps ring out, as though someone is bashing a tree trunk with a hard object. 

The sounds are coming from nearby. 

In fact, I feel like someone or something has been watching me from that direction for a while now…! 

“That sound is happening at regular intervals. Must be some kind of signal.” 

“Impressive, Alice. Yes, this is how the Bashin tribe calls in reinforcements when they’ve found their prey…” 

Before the two finish their exchange, I take off like a shot! 

I lose track of how long I’ve been running. 

Seems I’ve managed to lose those tribesmen, but when I look around… 

“Dammit! I lost them…!” 

I ran off, assuming Alice and Snow would follow right behind me, but they’re nowhere to be seen. 

The bigger problem is that I have no idea where I’m going. Given that I’m on an alien planet, my watch’s compass doesn’t function properly. 

“Uuugh! Where the hell did they go? I bet they’re taking their sweet time. And during an emergency, to boot. I’m going to give them an earful when I find them,” I grumble, but of course nobody responds. 

I’m starting to get a little unnerved by the random screams and cries ringing out from the shadowy forest. 

“Well…maybe I shouldn’t have left them behind like that. I guess I’ll spare them the lecture. Hear that, guys? You can come out now. I’m not mad, honest. I mean, I understand if your legs froze up, and you couldn’t run. Not everyone can be like me and keep their wits enough to make a hasty retreat, after all.” 

I continue rambling, raising my voice a bit. If there is anyone around that understands a word I say, they make no reply. The only sounds I hear from around me are the monstrous cries of wild animals. 

The lack of cell phone towers means I can’t just call Alice on the phone. 

Actually, now that I think of it, does she even have a cell phone? Even if I ordered a radio, it wouldn’t do me much good if the other party didn’t have a radio of their own… 

“Hey, wait…!” 

I just need to write a note about my current situation and send it to Kisaragi headquarters. They can then send Alice to pick me up. 

She’s smart. She’ll definitely be able to find me once she knows where I am. 

I let out a sigh of relief and reach for my memo pad— 

“Mokemokemoke!” 

I hear a distinct cry from behind me. 

I hesitantly turn around, coming face-to-face with a one-armed mokemoke…! 

Hoping to intimidate it, I spread my arms widely and let out a wild cry! 

“MOKEMOKEMOKEMOKE!!” 

“Mo?!” 

My sudden actions drive the mokemoke backward. 

The mokemoke studies me, foaming from its mouth. I get closer, continuing my mokemoke cry, staying in a ready stance to avoid showing any weakness…! 

Just then… 

“Mokeke…” 

It lets out a soft cry, as if to show it had no aggressive intentions, and lowers its pincer. 

Did my desperate cries convince it I was a friend? 

Come to think of it, there’s so much about this planet I still don’t understand. The mokemoke, despite its appearance, might actually be a gentle creature. I suppose it’s a wishy-washy thing for an evil minion to believe, but I think I just made a friend here in this dark forest. 

The mokemoke gently extends its pincer toward me. I let out a soft chuckle… 

As I hold out my hand to shake its pincer, the mokemoke is suddenly split right down the middle. 

“GOTCHAAAAA!” 

Snow lets out a war cry as she turns my new friend into lunch.