Childhood Friend of the Zenith - Chapter 623

Crack—!

The smell of something burning grazed the tip of my nose.

This place—who could say what it originally looked like?

Everything had burned and burned again, so the original appearance had long been lost.
It was impossible to imagine what it had once been.

All that remained was a world of blackened ash and embers still smoldering.

‘What a mess.’

I let out a brief chuckle as I looked around.

It wasn’t somewhere else; this was the inside of my own heart.

The fact that the world looked like this—
It meant that my insides were as charred and rotten as this place.

‘Pathetic.’

So much for all my resolve to live properly.
This is what I’d become.

I lowered my gaze.

Beneath this burning world, there was a barely preserved space.

A child sat there, trembling as they desperately held back the encroaching flames.

Small, fragile, and utterly terrified.

[Sniff... sniff...]

Damn it.
This memory was truly a cursed one.

“Hey.”

[Sniff... huh?]

At my call, the child lifted their head.

They had slit eyes and a face that, even for a child, looked unnervingly fierce.

“Look at that face.”

With a face like that, they’d be called ferocious their whole life.

“Sigh...”

I let out a deep sigh as I stared at the child.

“What’s with that pitiful look?”

[Please... save me... Save me!]

The child reached out to me,
their small hand clutching the hem of my pants.

[Please, please save me!]

“...”

[I want to see my mom... please...]

Their voice was earnest.
A small but clear cry from someone desperately clinging to life.

When was it?

‘When did I ever sound like that?’

I tried to recall, but... there was nothing.

‘Nothing.’

Not once.
Not a single time.

After my mother disappeared, I had never cried out like that.

So then...

“Are you going to just sit here crying endlessly?”

[Sniff... sniff...]

“Shut up.”

[...!]

The child immediately stopped crying at my words.

“Don’t cry. Shut up. It’s annoying.”

[Sniffle... sniff...]

“If you cry now, you’ll lose. Your life is already screwed.”

There would be countless days to cry ahead.
They’d need to hold it back and endure, but here they were, crying like this.

[Mommyyy...]

The kid couldn’t hold it back anymore and started sobbing again.

I sighed even more deeply as I watched.

“You don’t have a mom, kid.”

[...!]

Ah, maybe I shouldn’t have said it like that.

Not that it wasn’t true, but still.

“Well, you won’t see her for another... I don’t know... thirty years?”

That was roughly the time frame, counting my past life.

Even if I was searching for her, it was practically...

“Pretty much the same as not having one.”

[Waaaah!]

“You’re so loud. Should I just hit you to shut you up?”

[Sniffle...]

I crouched down to meet the child’s eyes.

“Did you want to live?”

[Sniff... sniff...]

“I didn’t think so. But you did?”

I’d believed life had no meaning.
That was how I had lived.

Even if I died immediately, it wouldn’t matter—that was how I saw things.

“But it seems like you didn’t think that way.”

Why was this child screaming like this?

“Why do you want to live so badly?”

I couldn’t understand it.

“Your life is hell.”

Even now, it was a bloody mess.

No matter how I tried to avoid such a life, it kept coming back to this.

“And it’ll probably stay that way.”

Drip—
Something wet trickled down my hand, and I looked at it.

“Huh?”

Before I knew it, my palm was stained red.

It was blood, dripping from the tips of my fingers.

This was regret.

Regret I had been desperately trying to forget.

It was laughable. That even this could manifest so clearly.

I raised my hand and showed it to the child.

“This is the life you’ll walk.”

[Sniff...]

“I can’t even remember how many people I’ve killed.”

And moving forward—
I wouldn’t remember those numbers either.

I had killed so many.
Too many to count, and too many to remember.

“Did it have to be this way?”

That question wasn’t for the child. It was for me.

“Was it truly necessary to live like this?”

The child trembled in fear as my world burned to ashes around us.

I was asking myself.

‘Did you...’

Really have to live like this?

Of course, I wouldn’t get an answer.
I wouldn’t answer myself, after all.

[Please save me...]

The child still clung to life.

[I want to live...]

“...”

Looking at them, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Did I want to live?
Maybe... maybe I did.

A memory surfaced.

The first time I stood in a market after my regression.

When I couldn’t fully grasp the situation, surrounded by the noise and crowds of people, I thought to myself:

‘I longed to see this sight.’

Even in those peaceful days.

Though they were the worst of times for me,
I had wished for those days.

And that was why I had felt relieved.

‘The sight I saw as I died—it was of that day.’

[Do you want a potato?]

That moment when I met that child.
Even though the life before it had been hell.

At least that one moment had meant something to me.

“But, you know...”

Drip.

I stroked the child’s cheek with my bloodied hand.

“This has to stop now.”

[Eek... eek...]

“How much longer are you going to hesitate?”

The child trembled in fear at my touch.

[Mo... mommy...]

They cried like a baby.

Well, they were a child.

‘To think I’d witness myself crying.’

It was a strange experience.
Even if it was just an illusion.

I continued, looking at the trembling child.

“Someone kept saying that you shouldn’t exist.”

[Sniff...]

Slowly, I moved the hand stroking the child’s cheek.

The blood smudged as it moved, leaving streaks behind.

And then I brought my hand to their neck.

Clench—!

I gripped it tightly.

[Guh—!]

The child let out a groan.

Hesitation.
And obstinacy.

That was this child’s name.

The hesitation holding me back.
The emotions I stubbornly refused to abandon.

And yet...

“You’re the most useless part of me.”

That was my conclusion.
It was something I’d known all along.

“...And yet.”

They were also the part of me I least wanted to lose.

This child was that to me.

But.

“It’s too much now. I can’t hold on anymore.”

That was why I held their neck.

Tremble.

The hand gripping their neck shook violently.

The sensation was disgustingly vivid.

“You know...”

I looked at the child as I spoke.

“I never wanted to abandon you.”

Words I had never admitted to anyone.

“Even now, that’s how I feel.”

Because the moment I abandoned them—

“I’d have to accept it.”

That any hope for a normal life was gone.
That I’d no longer be human, but a dragon.

I’d have to accept that life.

I had thought I’d already made up my mind.
But clearly, I hadn’t.

The truth was, I already knew.

“I am not human.”

It was a fact I had long understood.

“And I never will be again.”

I also knew there was no going back.

Even if I still questioned whether it had truly been my choice.

“...But you know.”

Regardless.

“Even knowing all that, it’s not easy.”

Obstinacy.

That infamous stubbornness—I knew it better than anyone.

And yet, I couldn’t let it go.

Why?

Why couldn’t I manage something so simple?
Why had my world rotted away to this extent?

I didn’t know.

Was it simply that I didn’t want to become a dragon?
Refusing to accept being a dragon didn’t make me human again.

I knew that well.

‘From the moment I decided to become a demon...’

From the moment I abandoned myself to protect something else—
I had understood.

It was too late to turn back.

‘I knew it.’

I had known it clearly, yet I still couldn’t.

Why?

Even I didn’t know.

Was being human really that important?
Why had I agonized over it so much?

I didn’t know.

But now wasn’t the time to dwell on the reasons.

As long as I clung to this obstinacy—

‘I can’t move forward.’

And if I couldn’t move forward,
I couldn’t protect what needed to be protected.

My life had always been balanced on a scale.
Always a series of choices.

I placed my choices on the scale and chose the heavier one.

That was how I had always lived.

Even now, though late, I was doing the same.

“You were lighter than everything else. That’s all.”

Yes, that’s all it was.

[Save me... please! I don’t want to die!]

I slowly tightened my grip around the child’s neck.

[I want to see my mom... dad!]

The child’s cries reached me.

I had to ignore them.

By killing one part of myself,
could anything really change?

Would this act truly change much?

I didn’t know.

But I had to do it anyway.

Clench—!

[Sniff...]

Despair filled the child’s eyes as I applied more pressure.

Crackle—! Crackle—!

The flames around us began to move again,
threatening to consume even the small, barely preserved space we stood in.

“I’m sorry.”

That was all I could say to the child as I looked at them.

“I don’t know if there’ll be a next time.”

This was the end for the child and me.

“Thank you—for everything up until now.”

With that,
I prepared to snap the child’s neck.
It was the natural conclusion.

But then—

Thump—!

Amid the burning flames—
Thump—! Crackle—!

Something strange caught my attention.

The sound of the embers, which had been steadily burning away,
Thump... Crackle... Thump.
started to slow down.

And then—
Thump.

Suddenly,
there was no sound at all.

“...?”

I paused, loosening my grip, as I noticed the peculiar sensation.
I looked around.

And then I saw it.

The flames, which had been dancing and consuming everything around me,
had all come to a halt.

“What’s this?”

They had been so noisy just a moment ago.
What kind of phenomenon was this?

Though it startled me, it wasn’t enough to stop me from continuing.

I pushed away my confusion and resumed what I was doing.

“Wait, what?”

As I turned my attention back, my eyes widened.

The child I had been holding with both hands was gone.

I froze, bewildered by the sudden turn of events.

Rustle.

“...!”

In front of me, I realized there was now something else, something that wasn’t the child.

Legs.

I quickly raised my gaze.

Standing before me was someone—
someone holding the very child I had been gripping moments ago.

[Sniffle...]

They held the child, my younger self, in their arms.

What...?

I furrowed my brow as I stared at the unexpected figure.

Their form was unclear, blurred, making it difficult to see them properly.

What was this...?
Could it be...?

“Are you a blood demon spirit?”

I asked, recalling how such an entity had appeared before in strange forms.

But the figure’s voice made me pause.

“Hm.”

It was a woman’s voice.
And it sounded familiar—like I had heard it somewhere before.

‘But.’

I couldn’t place it.

Whose voice was this?
I couldn’t remember.

Was this another trick of the blood demon spirit?

“This time, what are you here to do—”

“I,”

The woman’s voice interrupted me mid-sentence, and I stopped speaking entirely.

Normally, I would’ve ignored it and continued talking,
but for some reason, I couldn’t.

“—hoped you wouldn’t make this choice. That’s why I held onto my obstinacy.”

Her calm voice inexplicably stirred something deep within me,
causing a dull ache in a corner of my heart.

“In truth, I knew as well. Even more so since I set up measures for this.”

The woman gently cradled the child in her arms, as if to comfort them.

“But my greed caused me to delay and delay again. And that seems to have hurt you.”

I felt shaken.
Her words, though I couldn’t fully grasp them, unsettled me.

“...Who are you?”

She wasn’t the blood demon spirit. My instincts told me that much.
That woman wasn’t a blood demon spirit.

Then who was she?
Could she be...

“The Divine Sword?”

I thought back to the time at the Divine Dragon Pavilion when I had confronted the Heavenly Demon.
Back then, I had absorbed the energy of the Divine Sword following my mother’s words.

It was something I had intended to resolve when I met my mother again.

Given all that, I wondered if this figure could be the Divine Sword.

But—

“Heh.”

The woman let out a quiet laugh at my words, her voice calm yet tinged with sadness.

“Close, but no. I am not the one you are expecting.”

She turned away, taking a single step forward.

And then—

Fwoooosh—!!

“...What the!?”

Starting from where her foot touched the ground, the ashen world around me began to change.

Saaaaaa—!

Green grass sprouted across the blackened earth, spreading and wrapping around the area.
Trees that had rotted away were restored, their colors returning.

The empty space transformed again and again,
until a small dwelling appeared beneath a world adorned with autumn leaves.

All of this happened within mere seconds.

Rattle—! Clunk—!

The sound of a waterwheel turning echoed near the dwelling.

Chirp—! Chirp, chirp—!

From the forest behind it, the chirping of birds rang out.

My heart, once so rotten and decayed, had created the desolate world I’d just seen.

But now—
what was this place?

This suddenly transformed world...

[Sniff...]

“There, there.”

The woman soothed the child as she calmly walked to the dwelling.

With a graceful motion, she sat on the wooden porch and looked back at me.

Her gaze wasn’t clear.

Her form and features were hazy and indistinct, making it impossible to see her properly.

Yet, somehow, I knew she was looking at me.

“...Who are you? What are you?”

I asked, staring at the woman.
She responded,

“I was once your heart.”

Thump.

Her words made my heart skip a beat.

“I have been your eyes, your ears, your legs. I have been your sword. And also...”

She gently stroked the hair of the child she held.

“I was everything to one man, and a mother to his child.”

Swish.

A single autumn leaf fell onto her lap.
My gaze followed it instinctively.

“But now, because you no longer remember me... now...”

Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke.

“I am nameless.”

It sounded as if she was afraid to say it.

“You may call me that—Nameless.”

 
   ******************
   

Moments passed after Gu Yangcheon asked for time.

The Palace Lord stood beside Gu Yangcheon, watching him as he sat with his eyes closed.

It was because she judged that he had realized something and needed time to process it.

“Hm...”

As she observed him, the Palace Lord found herself slowly scrutinizing Gu Yangcheon.
For a simple reason.

The more she looked at him, the more he resembled someone.

That was the thought that crossed her mind as she stared at Gu Yangcheon.

‘At first, I didn’t think they looked alike.’

Only a few distinctive features bore a resemblance.
In terms of appearance, there were many differences, she had concluded.

So she had dismissed the idea of them being direct blood relatives.
At least, that’s what she had thought.

But after just two meetings, the Palace Lord was forced to reconsider.

She recalled Gu Yangcheon’s actions during their first encounter.

His angry words, asking if she had done the same thing to his companions—
And the way he had threatened to overturn everything if she had.

That reaction resembled him.

Though his demeanor and speech were completely different.

If anything...

‘...He was far more terrifying.’

Compared to the raw aggression Gu Yangcheon displayed,
his ability to restrain himself while exuding an overwhelming pressure was even more frightening.

‘I wonder how he would compare now.’

Even back then, he had been monstrous.

Judging by the state of his child, she already had an idea of what to expect.

But that only made her more curious.

‘I never settled things with him back then...’

She had yet to resolve their match.

A regretful thought.

In her eyes, only he had been a worthy opponent for her.
But now, as her life approached its end, it was a bittersweet memory.

‘If I ever see him again...’

She let herself indulge in a fleeting fantasy.

But she quickly erased it with a faint smile.

There was no time for such thoughts in her current state.

The Palace Lord turned her attention back to Gu Yangcheon.
Even setting aside the fact that he was his child, what she had learned about him so far was astonishing.

‘To reach this level at his age is already impressive enough.’

And now, he had shattered his vessel and awakened as a dragon.

‘Which means...’

It implied that his vessel had never been human to begin with.
If so...

‘Who could it be?’

The women who had been by his side back then.

Which one of them was the mother of this child?
There had been too many for her to predict accurately.

One thing she was sure of...

‘None of those women lacked in beauty.’

If anything, they had been exceptionally stunning.
She couldn’t recall a single one who seemed lacking.

And yet, this child—how had he turned out this way?
It was a curious thing.

As she pondered this,

Whuum.

“Hm?”

The Ice Essence in front of her began to emit a faint glow.

“...What?”

The Palace Lord paused, noticing the anomaly in the Ice Essence.

Hoooooosh—!!

Suddenly, as the light from the Ice Essence intensified,
a whirlwind of frost began swirling in the space around Gu Yangcheon.

But the frost didn’t seem to be approaching him of its own accord.

Rather,

It looked as though—

Gu Yangcheon was absorbing the frost.