The Palace Lord, who until now had maintained a calm or mildly amused demeanor, showed genuine surprise for the first time at my remark about his life force sustaining the Ice Essence.
"Ha," he muttered, before looking at me intently.
"Is that correct?" I pressed.
"How did you know?"
"Part guesswork," I admitted.
Among the many hypotheses I considered, it seemed the most plausible. It was merely luck that I struck the mark.
"I was planning to explain that part anyway, but you've spoiled the fun by figuring it out."
Even now, he was seeking amusement in this grim discussion. It was absurd.
"Just like him," I thought, recalling Yuseon’s penchant for finding entertainment in chaos.
Still—
"So that's why," I muttered.
The Palace Lord's admission clarified a point that had eluded me.
If the Ice Essence that suppressed the extreme cold relied on the Palace Lord’s life force to function, then—
"It’s no wonder the Ice Palace’s bloodline has been sustained this long."
Even though the thought crossed my mind that someone might exploit this arrangement, imprisoning and using the descendants purely as life-force batteries, it seemed the Palace Lord’s bloodline had reasons for avoiding such extremes.
"As you deduced," the Palace Lord continued, "the Palace Lord is necessary for maintaining the Ice Essence. More precisely, for preserving the safety of the North Sea."
I looked at him—a man partially transformed into a dragon. His appearance now made more sense in the context of what he had said.
"A dragon's vitality is… formidable," I thought.
The curse, which forced the transformation into a dragon-like state, wasn’t merely an affliction. It seemed designed to forcibly extract and amplify vitality to sustain the Ice Essence.
"If that’s true…"
"Then the Dragon Emperor was truly a bastard," I thought bitterly.
He installed a mechanism to spread perpetual cold in one part of the North Sea and a counterbalance requiring the Palace Lord’s life force to suppress it.
The Palace Lord had no choice but to endure this cruel existence, artificially prolonged and fortified by the curse to sustain the Ice Essence.
"Was the Ice Essence so important as to justify such measures?"
Or—was there another purpose behind it all?
The reason didn’t matter much.
What was certain was that the Dragon Emperor’s actions had plunged the North Sea into centuries of cold, all for the sake of awaiting a "pureblood."
And now, that "pureblood" had turned out to be—
"Me."
For better or worse, I had been drawn here.
As I processed this, another question arose.
"Your child, Yuseon, is also a dragon," I said. "Does that mean he’s the next Palace Lord?"
The Palace Lord, partially transformed into a dragon, had a successor in Yuseon. That much seemed clear.
If my assumptions were correct, Yuseon would indeed inherit the role of Palace Lord.
"You are correct," the Palace Lord replied.
"…!"
Though his answer didn’t surprise me, it still left me uneasy.
"He has not yet undergone the formal succession," the Palace Lord added.
"Not formally?"
"Traditionally, when the position is passed down, the curse is lifted from the predecessor."
The curse is lifted when the position changes hands.
That sounded eerily similar to the curse of the Shadow King I’d heard about before.
"Once the curse is lifted, the former Palace Lord dies," the Palace Lord continued.
I frowned. So the position didn’t just demand life—it demanded death as well.
"You’re saying you endure the curse to sustain the Ice Essence, and then, the moment you pass it on, you die?"
"Exactly," he said.
"What a wretched life," I muttered under my breath, my realization sinking in.
"And yet you’re still alive," I said, unable to ignore the glaring contradiction.
If Yuseon had succeeded him, why was the Palace Lord still standing before me?
The Palace Lord fell silent for a moment, his expression somber. It wasn’t clear whether he was choosing his words or simply reflecting.
Finally, he spoke.
"I no longer hold the position of Palace Lord. The state of my deteriorating body is proof of that."
I examined him more closely. His body, indeed, appeared to be slowly crumbling.
"The process of formal succession was not properly followed," he explained.
"It was usurpation, not succession. That’s why the laws governing the curse were disrupted."
Usurpation.
Yuseon had forcibly taken the position of Palace Lord. This act disrupted the curse, leading to its irregular effects on the former and current Palace Lords.
"So he forcibly claimed the role. Why?" I wondered.
"What could possibly justify taking the Palace Lord’s position by force?"
From everything I’d heard, there seemed to be no benefit to holding the position.
The curse would transform the body, drain life force, and make the bearer a slave to the Ice Essence.
Why would Yuseon want such a burden?
"Perhaps he was ignorant of the full truth," I thought.
Yuri had implied that the bloodline was partially aware of their curse but not its entirety.
Still, it didn’t add up.
"What could Yuseon possibly gain?"
"The position of Palace Lord," the Palace Lord interrupted my thoughts.
"It is not merely inherited—it is granted by the Ice Essence itself."
"Granted by the Ice Essence?"
"Normally, the Palace Lord selects a successor, and the Ice Essence acknowledges that choice," he explained, his hand brushing the smooth, spherical surface of the Ice Essence.
"But in this case, the Ice Essence chose him."
Yuseon had been chosen by the Ice Essence.
Why? What significance did that hold?
More pressing—
"What is his objective? What am I supposed to do here?" I asked bluntly.
Yuseon had taken the position of Palace Lord, leaving the former to die slowly.
Surely, rebellion wasn’t his only goal.
"And finally," I added, "what exactly is a pureblood?"
This was the most critical question of all.
What was a pureblood?
Why had the Dragon Emperor placed the Ice Essence here and awaited the arrival of a pureblood for centuries?
"And why is that role mine?"
The Palace Lord smiled faintly.
"A pureblood," he began, "is not one who transforms through external forces like a curse. It is one who ascends to become a dragon through their own power."
"…"
"One who shatters their vessel and rises as a dragon by their own strength. That is what we call a pureblood."
I scowled.
"Shatter their own vessel?"
It was laughable.
Nothing could have been further from my reality.
I hadn’t shattered anything by myself. My body was a chaotic amalgamation of borrowed powers and foreign entities.
Self-made strength? I was the furthest thing from it.
"And yet you call me a pureblood?"
It didn’t make sense.
"Perhaps you carry the blood of one capable of such feats," the Palace Lord said, "and demonstrated the talent to reach that pinnacle on your own."
"Bullshit."
I nearly spat the word aloud but restrained myself.
Something was wrong.
In my previous life, I had never come close to becoming a dragon, let alone a pureblood.
If I hadn’t returned through time, I wouldn’t even be here now.
"It wasn’t me they were waiting for."
I was merely the one who happened to arrive.
"If anything, this was set up for someone else," I thought, considering the Dragon Emperor—or rather, the Blood Demon.
Perhaps this was a safeguard he left behind for his own revival or to serve some other purpose.
"So," I pressed, "what is Yuseon’s objective? If rebellion isn’t his true goal, what is he trying to accomplish?"
“...”
The actions taken were not to seize the position of Palace Lord.
That much could be inferred from the explanation given by the current Palace Lord.
What could it be, then?
Why is Yuseon, who has become a dragon, acting this way?
“That would be...”
The Palace Lord once again pointed to the Ice Essence with their hand.
“To obtain that Ice Essence, perhaps.”
“What?”
Hearing the words, I had to immediately voice my doubt.
“They want the Ice Essence?”
“If they were chosen and became a dragon, then to become more complete... This would be necessary.”
What did they mean by that?
To become complete, this Ice Essence is necessary?
Moreover...
“Then, wouldn’t it mean that you shouldn’t even be here?”
I noticed something odd in the Palace Lord’s words.
“If they desire this Ice Essence, then choosing this place as a sanctuary shouldn’t even be an option...!”
Ah.
In the middle of speaking, I came to a realization.
No way...
“You...”
From the start, the Palace Lord...
“Have been waiting here, haven’t you?”
Here.
Was the Palace Lord waiting for Yuseon here?
Not running to this sanctuary but rather waiting deliberately?
The Palace Lord neither denied nor affirmed my words, but I was already certain.
I was right.
“For what... Why are you waiting for them?”
“To correct what has been twisted.”
“Then you should’ve accepted my treatment instead.”
Your deteriorating body...
While I can’t be sure whether I could break the curse, it was worth trying.
At the time, the Palace Lord had clearly refused my treatment.
Saying they had no intention of receiving it.
“Receiving it would make it impossible to stop that child.”
The Palace Lord admitted to waiting for the enemy here.
“What do you mean?”
“When you become the Palace Lord, you come to know many things.”
A slight tremor appeared in the Palace Lord’s hand as they touched the Ice Essence.
“What is contained within this Ice Essence. Why it is referred to as both an egg and a heart.”
And also...
“What happens when this Ice Essence, as an egg, hatches.”
“Hatching...?”
At the Palace Lord’s words, I too stared at the Ice Essence.
Hatching? Are you saying this is truly being used as an egg?
If that’s really the case, then what’s inside of it?
“If that child’s goal were merely to claim the position of Palace Lord, I would’ve given it up without hesitation. However...”
The Palace Lord’s slit eyes gleamed as they spoke.
“I know. That child’s goal is not the position but the hatching of this egg.”
Yuseon’s purpose is to revive the Ice Essence.
And they will come here for that purpose.
“So, you’re saying you’ll stop Yuseon when they come? With that broken body of yours?”
“Because that is the surest method.”
Not refuge but a vigil.
That was the reason why the Palace Lord was waiting here, in this sanctuary, in front of the iron gates.
Then...
“What is the reason you brought me here?”
In the end, the most important question was why they brought me here to the Ice Essence.
What do they expect me to do here?
When I asked that...
“That, I do not know.”
“What?”
The answer left me dumbfounded for a moment.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Then why did you bring me here?”
“Simply because fate compelled me to call you here. Beyond that, I do not know.”
“This is some headache-inducing nonsense.”
They knew I was a pureblood, so they brought me here, yet they don’t know what I’m supposed to do?
What kind of absurdity is this?
“When I say I do not know, it means that you do.”
The Palace Lord spoke to me.
“If I knew, why would I even ask you—”
“It is simply because you have yet to decide that you do not know.”
“...!”
“Is that not so?”
I had to close my mouth at the Palace Lord’s words.
“It is because you have not yet found your direction that you cannot see.”
[That’s right. So...]
The words overlapped with what Yuseon had said.
‘Because I have not decided, I do not know the answer?’
Am I a dragon?
Or am I human?
Because I have not decided, I don’t know what I must do here.
Could that really be the truth?
Even after coming this far, the situation continued to demand a choice from me.
It was truly maddening, but...
I already knew.
That it was far too late.
Regardless of whether the Palace Lord’s words were true or not, setting that aside...
[How foolish.]
Even though I lost something because I failed to choose,
I still stand at a crossroads, clutching this pathetic hesitation.
“...Even you, Palace Lord. Are you hoping I’ll make a choice?”
“I do not know. I do not know your life, so I cannot offer advice or meddle. What I do know, however...”
The slit pupils turned toward me.
“Is that you appear to lack much to achieve anything.”
“...”
Failing to set my heart on a single determination—
Why does something so small cause such immense struggle?
I didn’t know.
And I didn’t want to know.
But.
‘Damn it.’
It was something I had already realized the moment I met Yuseon.
The feeling I had when I stood helpless, losing Woo Hyuk.
And later, when I woke up and embraced Namgung Bi-ah, only to feel the fear that someday I might lose her too.
It made me realize.
That I am full of deficiencies to be greedy for anything.
‘I said I wouldn’t hesitate to use any means, yet I didn’t.’
The reason is simple.
—Because I want to live as a human.
That single pathetic desire.
In my previous life as a human, I failed to live as one. Now that I’ve returned, I wanted to live differently.
Even if I am now in the body of a dragon,
I want to remain human.
Such was my yearning.
It was an ugly and wretched hesitation.
That was what had held me back, dragging things on this far.
‘...’
As I looked at the Ice Essence, I thought.
Though my eyes were on the Ice Essence,
my mind was filled with images of others.
I fleetingly thought of a few people,
then closed my eyes.
“...Could you give me a moment?”
No response came.
Perhaps it would be better to say I didn’t hear it.
I kept thinking.
Even if I erased this hesitation and reached a conclusion, would anything change?
I clung to that doubt, yet...
Ironically, I already knew how to make the choice.
I was simply avoiding it.
Feigning deliberation, delaying it further and further.
I just wanted to postpone it for even a moment longer.
Hwooong—!
And so, when I closed my eyes and reopened them...
“...”
I stood in a world charred black, reduced to ashes.
There was no need to wonder where I was.
‘Because I already knew.’
This was within my heart.
I could always come here.
I could always face it.
Yet I had chosen not to.
This hesitation was the place I had avoided.
A world where everything had burned away, leaving nothing behind.
Except for a small, barely unscathed space.
I walked toward it.
[Heuuuh... Heuuuuuuu...!]
A sound of sobbing reached me.
[Huhuhuhuhuuuu....]
In this world of flames,
a child’s cries echoed.
Crunch.
I stepped on the ashes and walked toward the sound of the sobs.
[Mommy... Mommyyyyy!]
In the ruined world, in the tiny space that had barely escaped the flames,
a child was crying out for their mother in fear, as if any movement might cause the space to burn away.
I stood on the scorched ground and looked at the child.
[Nooo... Noooo... I’m scared...]
A pair of eyes too fierce for a child.
Eyes and a nose swollen red from excessive crying.
A body trembling in fear, curled up tightly.
It was the image of my younger self.
And also...
The form of my remaining hesitation as a human.
[Mom... Where are you...? I’m scared!]
“...”
I had to smile bitterly at the sight of the child wailing sorrowfully.
“Nice to meet you.”
And then I spoke.
“Shall we have a little talk?”
Now...
It was time to end this.
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