Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatte Iru - Volume 7 - Chapter 2

2

Nobody knows why they came to the Service Club.

Someone must have brought in an electric kettle at some point, because I could hear one whistling. Yukinoshita noticed the water was boiling and carefully folded over the corner of her magazine: the “dog-ear.” Though since she loves cats, she might argue it isn’t a dog ear but the ear of a Scottish fold. If you don’t know, the Scottish fold is a popular breed of cat with characteristic “dog-eared” bent ears, which is unusual for a cat.

She set her magazine on the desk and got up to fetch the kettle.

Yuigahama had been lazily toying with the cell phone in her hand until she called out to Yukinoshita, eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Yay! Snack time!” As Yukinoshita prepared the cups and tea leaves, Yuigahama fished through her bag for some treats to go with the drinks.

On the desktop was a pretty cup and a saucer, plus a mug printed with an unmotivated-looking dog lying in a slump.

I’d been seeing them a lot lately, now that we were deeper into fall and you could hear the footsteps of the coming winter. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Yukinoshita making tea as I read my paperback.

She poured hot water into the glass pot, and the leaves slowly rose in a dance. The way they fluttered up only to quietly drift down again was reminiscent of the little flecks in a snow globe.

Yukinoshita poured first into the cup, then in the mug, and then, teapot still in hand, she froze. Putting her hand on her chin, she seemed to consider something a moment before reaching out to the paper cups that were always kept in the clubroom and pouring the liquid into one of those, too. She gave the paper cup a cold and dissatisfied glare, even though she was the one responsible for it, then transferred the rest of the tea into a ceramic pot and put a cozy on it to keep it warm.

Then she took her cup and saucer and returned to her seat. Still clacking away on her cell phone, Yuigahama followed suit with her mug.

With no one claiming it, the paper cup was left all alone. The steam rising from it wavered, unsure where to go.

“The tea…will get cold.”

“…My tongue burns easily.” It had taken me a few moments to understand that the cup was for me. But I wasn’t enough of a contrarian that I couldn’t accept something someone went to the effort of leaving for me. When I figured the tea had cooled a bit, I reached out for it.

As I sipped at my drink, Yuigahama was holding her own mug in both hands and blowing on it to cool it down. “Oh yeah, so it’s about time for the field trip, huh?”

The term made Yukinoshita’s eyebrows twitch. Lately, our class had been talking about nothing else. It seemed those ripples had reached the Service Club, too.

“Have you guys already decided where you’re going and stuff?” Yuigahama asked.

“I’m about to,” Yukinoshita replied.

“Depends on where the people in my group go,” I said. To me, a field trip is basically just forcible displacement. The other members of my group would stand in front of me and come up with a plan that included none of my opinions and act like I wasn’t there, and I would silently follow after them. I wasn’t particularly dissatisfied with this arrangement; I liked that it was easy, though it wasn’t quite what I’d call fun.

A chummy group will be considerate and take my opinions into account sometimes, but a foreign body is still a foreign body. Something to be eliminated.

As someone with a long history of being that particular alien element, I take this fact for granted. This should also be the same for Yukinoshita, who would have similarly been treated this way.

“Oh yeah, so, Yukinoshita, what do you do for field trips and events and stuff?” I asked her, suddenly curious.

Teacup in one hand, Yukinoshita tilted her head slightly. “? What do you mean?”

“You don’t have any friends in your class, right?”

To a stranger, it would sound like a pretty mean question, but Yukinoshita didn’t seem bothered by it. She replied matter-of-factly, “No. So?”

“I was just wondering what you do about groups and stuff,” I said.

Yukinoshita must have finally grasped the intentions behind my question, as she put down her teacup and spoke with understanding. “—Oh, if that’s what you mean, I simply go with whoever invites me.”

“What? You get i-invited?” I asked in surprise. That was unexpected.

Yukinoshita looked a little sullen as she replied, “I don’t know what sort of impression you have of me, but I’ve never had trouble finding a group. Usually, some girls will come talk to me.” She swept her hair off her shoulder.

Yuigahama was listening to us off to the side, and she touched her cup to her mouth as she looked up. “Oh, I think I kinda get that. Class J is mostly girls, so I think they’d be into someone as cool and calm as Yukinon.”

“Huh. I see… In Class J, huh?”

Yukinoshita was in Class J, the international curriculum. Since Class J was 90 percent girls, the vibe there was a little different from all the other, normal classes, almost like a girls’ school. If you’re close enough when you walk by them, they smell nice—well, it’s a mix of a lot of smells, and it makes me feel a little sick. Also, in winter, they tend to wear their gym pants under their skirts and fool around by rolling up one another’s skirts, which is pretty entertaining to watch from afar.

I’m sure Yukinoshita’s class shares a sense of comfort, familiarity, or ease, since it’s all the same sex. Or maybe you could say it’s easier to form cliques. That’s one plus of not having the eyes of the opposite sex on you.

Guys are so worried about how girls see them, it tends to make them act weird. Like Tobe and friends and their gorilla drumming in the classroom the other day, or the bad-boy act. You might also be able to include M-2 types in that category. Oh, of course, this includes me. And I’m sure it’s probably similar for girls.

In fact, Yukinoshita must have experienced this plenty in her life. When you put pubescent boys and girls together in one classroom, stuff happens—between boys and girls, and among the boys and the girls, too. Stuff happens in life. Which is why we have pensions.

“Agh. Man, I wish our school could’ve gone to Okinawa or something,” Yuigahama said, sitting on the edge of her seat and looking at the ceiling.

“I don’t know about going at this time of year… I wouldn’t really recommend it,” Yukinoshita replied, turning to gaze out the window. The cold wind made everything sound bleak. Even on the southern island of Okinawa, you couldn’t expect to have fun in the ocean, or shii or marin or whatever they call it in English, at this time of year.

“Really? But there’s nothing to do in Kyoto, y’know? All they have there is temples and shrines. We have that stuff in our neighborhood… Like, we can go to the Inage Sengen shrine whenever…”

Classic Yuigahama. The remark made my head hurt. Yukinoshita must have felt the same way, as she was lightly pressing her temples. “You have absolutely no sense of the weight of history or cultural value, do you?” she muttered, then sighed.

Yuigahama immediately went on the defensive. “I mean, I don’t even know what we would do at a temple…”

Well, it’s not like I didn’t get at all what she was saying. If you don’t have any interest in temples or shrines, it must be boring as hell. Most teenagers probably don’t find themselves interacting with any of that stuff aside from major life events like weddings or New Year’s.

“There are plenty of things to do. And more importantly, this trip isn’t for fun. Of course, there’s the history, and we also have the opportunity to see and touch our nation’s culture directly—”

“I don’t think that’s what these trips are about,” I interrupted Yukinoshita’s opining.

“Oh. Well then, what exactly is their purpose?” Yukinoshita shot me a belligerent look, suggesting she was irritated by the interruption.

That’s a little scary, ma’am. But unflinchingly, I continued, “In my opinion…it’s a chance to practice life as adults in society.”

“…I see. True, we do use the Shinkansen and other public transportation, and stay at hotels…” Yukinoshita folded her arms, her eyes shifting up and to the right in thought.

But I wasn’t done yet. “You’re forced to go on a business trip you don’t want to go on, and at your destination, you’re forced to meet some higher-ups you don’t want to see. You’re not the one choosing where you stay or what you eat for dinner, either. On top of that, when you go sightseeing, you’ve got to appease people, smother your own opinions, and conform in all sorts of little ways. You have to make do with the money you’ve got as you consider all the little compulsory details, like, Well, I’ll get a souvenir around this price for that one person, but I don’t have to get anything for that other guy, I guess. Field trips teach you all these lessons. It’s like training for how to deceive yourself into thinking the world can be fun in its own way when you compromise, even though it will never go how you want,” I finished.

Yuigahama gave me the most pitiful look. “Whoa, your field trips sound miserable…”

“I sincerely doubt the organizers are putting together the travel itinerary from such a pessimistic perspective,” Yukinoshita said with some bafflement.

“Oh!” Yuigahama said, as if she’d hit on something. “B-but you know, even if you’re right about that, Hikki, it’s still up to us how we enjoy it, right?”

“Uh, well, I guess…” It’s true; no matter what sort of curriculum or quota is levied upon you, how you take it is a matter of individual choice.

I was on my way to being convinced by Yuigahama’s counterargument when suddenly, Yukinoshita smiled. “Indeed. I’m sure even you’re looking forward to something, aren’t you, Hikigaya?”

“I guess…” Like sharing a room with Totsuka, or a bath with Totsuka, or eating with Totsuka… Yeah, okay, there were some things I was looking forward to a little bit.

“Hikki, is there anything you’re excited about?” Yuigahama asked.

“Oh, well, I do like Kyoto to begin with, you know,” I replied.

Yukinoshita’s eyes widened. “That’s surprising. I assumed you were all about throwing tradition and formality in the trash.”

…What an awful way to phrase it. Whatever. I’ve gotten used to all that.

“To humanities types who enjoy Japanese history and language, it’s a holy land.” If we’re talking historical novels, you have the works of Ryotaro Shiba, and in more recent general literature, there’s The Tatami Galaxy. When you’re into those things, you do develop some interest in the city of Kyoto.

“Anyway,” I continued, “being unable to go where you want is a defining feature of field trips. Eventually, I’ll go on my own.”

“Isn’t traveling by yourself kinda lonely?” Yuigahama murmured.

Naw, I think traveling solo is pretty fun. You’re not forced to accommodate others, which is enough to make it more comfortable all on its own.

I wasn’t the only one thinking along these lines. Yukinoshita dipped her head in acknowledgment. “Not at all. If you go alone, you can take your time sightseeing. I think it would be enjoyable.”

“Yeah, yeah. And the best part is that you can really bask in the feel of everything. If you try to watch the rock garden in Ryouan-ji Temple with a crowd of loud high school kids in the background, you might just pick up one of the rocks to smash open some heads.”

“Obviously, I wouldn’t do that… It’s a World Heritage site after all.” Yukinoshita was disgusted—for relatively academic reasons. Not much of a humanist, this one.

“What about you guys?” I asked. “Anywhere you want to go, or things you want to do?”

“I haven’t looked into it at all yet, but I’m thinking I might wanna see Kiyomizu-dera Temple. It’s famous and stuff.”

“Someone sure likes bandwagons…”

Yuigahama was just being Yuigahama, and I replied before I even thought about it. She pouted a little, puffing up her cheeks.

“What’s wrong with that? Oh, and I wanna see Kyoto Tower.”

“We have basically the same thing in Chiba.”

“That’s the Port Tower!”

They’ve got similar names, don’t they? Though actually, the names are about all that’s similar about them.

You really do end up more attached to your home region. I love the Port Tower. Though they don’t do fireworks shows there anymore, so there aren’t many opportunities to check it out.

But then Yukinoshita had to put a damper on my local loyalties. “If we’re talking Port Towers, the one in Kobe is more famous, though.”

“That’s fine. Chiba’s is taller.”

“I have no idea what you mean by fine…” Yukinoshita gently touched her temple as if to push back a headache.

“So, Yukinoshita. What about you?” I asked her.

She paused a moment to consider. “Me…? Well, you already mentioned the rock garden in Ryouan-ji Temple, and Yuigahama brought up Kiyomizu-dera Temple, but I’d also like to visit some other famous spots like Rokuon-ji and Jishou-ji Temples.”

I think that was a string of unfamiliar words to Yuigahama. She just blinked. “Rokuonji Anjishouji…?”

“Don’t mix them all together… Oh, hey, it kinda makes for a cool character name!” Rokuonji Anjishouji. He’d probably be a monk character with superpowers—that’s how it feels anyway.

“The names Kinkaku-ji and Ginkaku-ji might be more well-known, generally.”

“Y-you coulda just said that!” said Yuigahama. “Oh, but I’m going to the Kinkaku-ji Temple. Yumiko wants to go see it.”

“Yeah, that temple sure suits her perfectly…” It fit my mental image of the glamorous Miura to a T.

As I was imagining the queen bee jangling with golden decorations, Yukinoshita continued, “And the Philosopher’s Walk, too. It’s supposed to be nice during cherry blossom season, but I think it would be lovely when the leaves are changing as well. Also, some temples and shrines allow special nighttime visits, so if the schedule permits, I’d like to go…but it may not be possible to go out at night on a school field trip.” Yukinoshita was gushing.

Yuigahama gave her a questioning look. “You know a lot about this…”

“What are you, a travel magazine?” She’s really too excited about this…

“It’s nothing, really… This information about Kyoto is within the scope of common knowledge.” Yukinoshita jerked her face away grumpily and reached out to her magazine. Wait, now that I got a good look at it, her reading material was, in fact, the travel magazine Jalan.

It was unusual to see Yukinoshita so innocently looking forward to something, though.

Right as I quietly turned away in an effort to smother my smile before it escaped, my eyes met with Yuigahama’s, and she had the exact same look. That just made it funnier, and I couldn’t suppress a little snicker.

“…What’s the matter?”

“Nothing at all!”

As Yukinoshita glowered icily, Yuigahama frantically waved her hands in an attempt to distract her. But that wasn’t enough for Yukinoshita to let it drop, and the frigid glare remained.

“Ah…ah-ha-ha-ha…” Yuigahama laughed pathetically until something occurred to her. “So anyway, Yukinon, let’s go look at stuff together on the last day.”

Yukinoshita tilted her head. “Together?”

“Yeah, together!” Yuigahama flashed her a bright smile.

However, Yukinoshita was still thinking. Quietly, she began to speak, and I could predict what she was about to say. “But…”

“She’s not in our class.” I beat her to the punch.

But Yuigahama nodded carelessly. “I know. But the third day is a free day, so I can call you up, and we can hang out in Kyoto!”

“I’m not certain it’s that free…,” said Yukinoshita.

“Huh? It’ll be fine, won’t it? I don’t really know, though.”

She doesn’t even think about these things…

But maybe on the third day I could just drift wherever my whims took me and say I was making the most of my free day. I’ve always wanted to go to the ruins of the Shinsengumi headquarters or the Ikedaya Inn. Though I hear the Ikedaya isn’t there anymore, and now it’s a pub. If I went on a tour of the historical sites, I’d be the only one getting excited.

As I was ruminating, Yuigahama moved the conversation along without me. “Of course, only if it fits your schedule. How ’bout it?”

“…I don’t mind.”

“All right! Then we’re set!”

Yukinoshita quietly looked away, while Yuigahama beamed and scooched her chair closer to Yukinoshita’s.

Friendship is beautiful, I guess. Well, if they could enjoy themselves on this field trip even though they’re in different classes, I suppose I couldn’t complain.

“And you too, Hikki! Let’s go someplace together!”

“Hmm, uh…” Yuigahama large eyes flicked my way for an instant. I wasn’t expecting to hear that right then, and I found myself unable to reply.

As I considered how exactly to respond, the silence was broken by a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Yukinoshita responded, and the door opened.

Our visitors were not who you’d expect. Actually, the only people who ever came to this clubroom were people you didn’t expect, or people I didn’t want to be here at all… People who’d fit in here, or whose presence would seem right, or who would otherwise fall within the category of those I’d expect, never seemed to come.

But this time, it was fair to say that even among the unexpected, these were some of the least expected.

It was Hayama, and behind him, Tobe, Yamato, and Ooka.

A very surprising quartet. I don’t know if they’re actually close, but they appeared to be a friendly foursome.

Hayama had come here a few times before, so he acted like he knew how this whole thing went, but the other three were looking around the clubroom with curiosity.

Then their eyes stopped on me.

They didn’t have to bother with saying anything aloud for me to tell what they were thinking. All of them were wearing the same baffled expression. They all looked at one another, then back at me again.

But I couldn’t take them to task for their rude looks—I’m sure I was staring back at them in just the same way. Why the hell are these guys here?

Of course, I wasn’t the only one with that question. It seemed Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were equally baffled. “Do you need something?” Yukinoshita said in a mildly chilly tone, and Yuigahama gave a couple of nods in agreement.

Hayama glanced at Tobe as if to check with him. For some reason, Tobe kept fidgeting with his hair, brushing it up at the back of his neck and tugging at it. Kinda gross.

“Yes, I brought the guys because we have a consultation for you…” Hayama sounded like he was distancing himself from the situation—basically, he wasn’t doing the consulting himself, but one of his lackeys had some issue.

“Go on, Tobe.”

“Out with it!”

Prompted by the two guys beside him, Tobe opened his mouth, but all that came out was a groan as he contemplated. “Mmrrgh…”

Huh? What? Myrrh? Are you planning on embalming someone?

After what seemed to be some deep thought, by Tobe standards, he shook his head. Thanks to his long hair, the gesture reminded me of a sopping-wet stray dog. “Uh, actually, forget it! I’m not gonna ask Hikitani for anything!”

…Huh? The hell? Are you tryin’ to pick out a brand-new fight from the Hikitani rack here, eh?

Though my heart is a peaceful one, I felt as if the rage was about to give me an awakening, but with a few deep breaths, I stealthily let it out. After calming myself somewhat, I glanced around to see Yamato and Ooka with little smiles that said, Oh, you’re so hopeless, while Hayama was breathing a short sigh. Yuigahama’s mouth hung open, while Yukinoshita’s was in a tight line.

A moment of silence.

The silence felt strange, like a creepy-crawly feeling in your butt that makes it impossible to sit still, and the one to break it was Hayama. “Tobe. We’re the ones who came here with a request.”

“Well, I mean, y’know, I can’t talk about this sorta thing to Hikitani. Trust score zero, man!”

I found myself discovering an unexpected drawback to being recognized—which in my case meant being hated.

The person who was supposed to have come with a request wasn’t saying anything, which created more silence. So when Yuigahama spoke, though it was quiet, I could hear her just fine.

“Geez…”

Thank you for going to the trouble to voice my inner feelings out loud. But, Yuigahama, hearing that from you feels so unsettling. What’s up?

“Do you have to say it like that, Tobecchi? You could at least be nicer about it,” she said.

“I mean, but, like…”

I was grateful she was telling him off, but getting into conflict here wasn’t gonna help her any.

I wondered what I should do now, but Yukinoshita came up with the answer first. “I see. Well, the problem is with Hikigaya, so there’s no way around that. Why am I not surprised…? So, I’m sorry, but could you leave?”

Well, she was right. If Tobe was saying he couldn’t talk with me around, it was best for me to go. “All right, once you’ve done your stuff, call me or whatever.” I started to get up.

But Yukinoshita stopped me. “Wait. Where are you going?”

“Huh? You just said…” I looked at her and saw her eyes were shifting slowly from me over to Tobe and the others.

“They’re the ones who will be leaving.”

“Huh?” Tobe squawked. He and his friends were now just as frozen as I was.

But Yukinoshita didn’t care one bit as she continued, “There’s no need for us to listen to a request from people with no manners and no sense for common courtesy. You may leave at your earliest convenience.” Her tone was the same as always, that Yukinoshita-like extreme composure. But her expression was somewhat colder than usual, and her frozen gaze pierced Tobe.

“This is kinda awkward…” Yuigahama’s stinging remark just made it even more agonizing.

I was stuck getting halfway out of my seat during that whole frozen moment, and it was starting to make my back sore.

I sort of wanted them to make up their minds about who would leave.

Could everyone just leave instead, and we’d all call it a day? No?

“…Well, this is our fault. Tobe, let’s come back another time. Or maybe we should just resolve this ourselves,” Hayama said with some resignation, breathing a sigh of relief.

Yeah, yeah, just keep your mouth shut and leave.

But Hayama’s remark became the trigger that unfroze Tobe. Once he was moving again, he started combing up the hair at the back of his neck again. “Come on, I can’t back out now… Besides, I told Hikitani about it before, during summer vacation, so I should just come out and say it.”

“…All right.” Seeing Tobe’s determination, Hayama backed down.

I was a little surprised Tobe didn’t listen to Hayama’s attempt to stop him, but this was kind, noble, righteous Hayama here. He might have just done it to gauge how serious Tobe was. At his core, Hayama was the sort who would support his friends and push them along, so of course he would do something like that. I guess. I couldn’t understand the guy.

I don’t know whether Hayama was doing this to be considerate or not, but either way, it hadn’t worked on Tobe. He still seemed to be having a hard time spitting it out, though.

Agh, if you’re not gonna say it, you can leave, you know?

“Um…” Finally able to spit something out, Tobe wavered. There wasn’t much to be curious about here, but everyone was quietly listening.

“Um…”

You’re still not gonna say it? You’re really dragging this out. Are we on a variety show?

Why do they always have to stick multiple commercial breaks in these moments? And once you think the ads are finally done, it’s starts up again from right before the reveal. Are they time leaping? This is why I hardly watch anything but anime anymore.

“Um, actually…” After taking his sweet time, Tobe finally started talking. “I think…Ebina’s…pretty cool, you know? And, well, I kinda wanna clinch it during this trip.”

About half of that was code—actually, he was talking almost entirely in implications.

“For real?!” Yuigahama’s eyes sparkled. My reaction was a little like hers.

Oh-ho, so he was serious about what he said during the summer camp in Chiba Village. Because of this prior information I had, I got what Tobe was trying to say even though he was speaking in allusions, but Yukinoshita tilted her head in a questioning gesture.

She appeared to have no idea what this was about, so Yuigahama whispered into her ear. Yukinoshita made listening noises as Yuigahama told her, but then she stopped suddenly. And then, with a complicated expression on her face, she tilted her head.

Might as well summarize the gist of it myself, then. “So you mean, like…you’re saying you want to tell her how you feel and start dating her?” I asked Tobe, putting it in terms that might be a little embarrassing for a pubescent boy.

Tobe swept up his hair again, turned to me, and pointed at me. “Yeah, yeah, basically. But it’d be pretty harsh to get rejected. Glad you get my drift, Hikitani.”

Well, he changed his tune quickly… Oh well, that’s the kind of guy he is. He had told me about this stuff during the summer camp after all.

But still…

“Hmph. So you don’t wanna get rejected, huh?”

Don’t be so naive. Being rejected, rebuffed, and dumped is a part of life. Once you enter the workforce, you’ll have jobs with no apparent meaning dumped on you, and some of them will make you go, Is this even my job? So yeah, get used to dumping now.

This is so lame, I thought, putting my face down on my desk with my right arm as my pillow.

Yukinoshita, who was within my field of vision, was slightly nonplussed. She put her hand to her mouth, pondering.

Just one person there seemed ready to bite: Yuigahama.

Her chair scraped as she hopped up and leaned forward on her desk with deep interest. Her eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm for this juicy bit of romantic gossip that had fallen so suddenly into her lap. “Come on! Like, this stuff is really nice! I’ll cheer you on!”

Meanwhile, Yukinoshita seemed to have fallen into thought. “What does one do, specifically, for a date…?”

You don’t even know that? I thought, but I guess I didn’t really know, either. Glaze them with syrup, maybe?

It seemed the other two already meant to accept the request, but I wasn’t really into it.

Trying to get people to help you with this is a mistake to begin with.

You hear about it everywhere from elementary school to high school, but I’ve never witnessed a single instance of other people helping that actually worked out. Generally, they get some laughs out of it, and then it’s over. If you try to talk to someone about it, they’ll very often turn it into a joke. Or into leverage the moment you have some minor fight, even if that wasn’t their initial intent, or a bargaining chip to find out someone else’s crush. You really can’t underestimate elementary school–level information warfare.

That was why I really didn’t want to engage in any cooperation or support. I mean, it kinda reminds me of a painful past, you know.

When my reluctance started to show, Hayama turned the discussion to me, wearing a similarly wry smile. “I guess it’s not that simple after all.”

“Well…” Not knowing how to react, I quietly looked away. And my eyes met with Yukinoshita’s.

She was tilting her head as if to say, What do you think?

I gave a little shake of my head with a double helping of rottenness in my eyes to reply, No way…

Yukinoshita gave a little nod of recognition and said, “Sorry, but it doesn’t seem we can help you.”

“Nope,” I agreed.

And so it was over.

“…Okay. Well, of course.” Hayama nodded in acceptance, his gaze coming to a halt at his feet.

It would be conceited to believe we could help with anything and everything. After all, our position isn’t so different from those who come to consult with us. Hayama might feel the same way.

The realm of impossibility is greater than that of possibility; it’s the way of the world. Indeed, it is truly regrettable, but we cannot be of any use. Yes, um, truly regrettable. I mean, I’m not in possession of a girlfriend myself, so, well, uh, I think it’s a rather difficult problem.

But one of us wasn’t convinced of this, so…

“Huh?! Why not? Let’s help him!” Yuigahama persisted, tugging at Yukinoshita’s blazer. At a loss, Yukinoshita glanced at me, and Yuigahama followed suit. Now both of them were staring at me.

Hold on here. Don’t try to force the decision on me… I just said we can’t!

Tobe must have realized what those looks meant, as he took a step forward and grinned at me. “Hikitani… No—Hikitani, sir! Do me a solid!”

Hey, hey, hey, the politeness fix just makes it even ruder. And you’re still getting my name wrong.

“Look, he’s asking you!”

“C’mon.”

Ooka and Yamato served as Tobe’s smiling reinforcements. I always end up in the minority position every time, don’t I?

“It does look like Tobecchi needs help, Yukinon.”

“…Well, if you insist, I suppose we can consider it.”

Yuigahama implored with moist eyes, and Yukinoshita capitulated.

Pardon me, Miss Yukinoshita, but you’re being too easy on her these days.

So now, I could be the squeaky wheel going No, I don’t wanna, but it wasn’t gonna do anything. No matter when, no matter where, once you’re outvoted, you’re done for. Though the opinions of the minority might be respected, they can never make the decisions. I learned that as a member of elementary school society. I’d be forced to give in now, too. “Then I guess we do it…”

“Yuss! Thanks a bunch! Major thanks, Yui, Yukinoshita!” Tobe crowed.

Hey. And me. There’s me… What about me?

Oh, whatever. It wasn’t like I was doing it because I wanted to be thanked. I was just doing it because it was my job.

And my policy was that if I was going to do something, I’d try to do it at least kinda right. I wouldn’t put in 100 percent, but I’d exert enough effort for a passing grade. I’d recently gained the spirit of the corporate slave after being on the committee for the last cultural festival. I’d try hard enough that I wouldn’t be fired.

“Okay, so,” I said, “what do you want us to do, specifically?”

“Well, like I said, I’m gonna be confessing, right? So, like, you basically play wingman?”

The moment he said the word confessing, Yuigahama put her hand to her mouth and let out a breathy “Yeek!” I was sorry to be thinking this when she was getting all excited about it, but I did not think this would end well. And also, I said specifically. Give me a specific reply.

“Well, I get how you feel,” I said. “Actually, it’s all I get. But listen, Tobe. Maybe it’s mean to say this, but isn’t this a risukii thing to do?” I said, using the English word.

Tobe momentarily stopped tugging at his hair. “Risukii? Oh, yeah, yeah. It’s risukii. Risukii.”

Does he actually understand what that means? It’s not cat food, you know? It wasn’t the nickname for Littbarski when he was playing for JEF, either.

I wasn’t sure how much Tobe understood, but I was even more dubious about Yuigahama. She spun around toward me to ask, “What do you mean, risukii?”

“Risuku. Risk. English for danger, the possibility of suffering loss,” Yukinoshita explained like a Pokédex.

“I get what it means, you know! I’m asking what sort of risks there are!”

Yukinoshita was unfazed by Yuigahama’s huffing outburst. Perhaps she knew Yuigahama knew and was teasing her…

Well, like they say, you teach me, and I’ll teach you—I had to explain this from square one. “Well, first of all, you’re confessing, right? Then you get rejected, right?”

“You’re assuming she’s gonna say no?!”

“You fool. That’s not all. What comes next is already set in stone.”

Yuigahama’s yelp of surprise came too early. The rejection would just be the beginning. There’s more that comes after. You might think you’re at rock bottom right now, but in life, there’s always another bottom beneath rock bottom. Yes, you can fall forever…

“The day after your confession, the whole class will inevitably know about it. That wouldn’t be so bad, if it ended there. But you know…you’ll hear them talking, here and there:

“‘I hear Hikigaya confessed to Kaori yesterday.’

“‘Whoa, poor Kaori.’ (Like, why poor Kaori?)

“‘And via text, too!’

“‘Whaaat? Someone’s got no guts. Geez, via text? Who does that?’

“‘Right?’

“‘I’m glad I never gave him my number.’

“‘Nobody’s gonna confess to you, so you’ll be okay (lol).’

“‘Whaaat? That’s so mean! (lol).’

“…People will throw it into their pleasant little conversations, and then you’ll feel the sting when you happen to overhear it. That’s the risk,” I finished. That’s what gets you while you’re down. Right when you’re suffering from a broken heart, you get social assassination, too.

“This was about you again, Hikki…,” Yuigahama muttered quietly.

Why even bother saying that at this point? I wouldn’t know anything about other people. When I talk, it’s generally about myself.

Oh, this is no good. When I start talking about myself, I can’t help going on and on. Phew~. I’m tired (lol).

Perhaps my fervent speech was too much. The entire room had gone silent.

“…Do you get it?” I asked, for emphasis.

Yukinoshita put her hand to her forehead and sighed. “That was because it was you, Hikigaya.”

“Hey, personally, I think it’s a common experience for middle schoolers.”

But apparently, it was not for Tobe. My explanation was in vain, and indeed, the fine gentleman did not take what I had to say seriously, no, not in the least.

“Okay, okay, then I’m fine as long as I don’t confess via text, right? Besides, guys like me don’t care what other people say. It doesn’t bother me.” Tobe jerked his thumb firmly at himself, and Ooka and Yamato piggybacked on that.

“Man, you’re so cool, Tobe. Gonna tell her face-to-face!”

“Like a man.”

“Come on, a guy’s gotta do it that way!” Tobe said, but he was blushing a bit, too.

Could you please not…?

Sorry to butt in when you’re acting all shy, Tobe, but the so-called risks go beyond the aforementioned. “…Well, it’s not only that.”

“There’s more…?” Yuigahama cut in, sounding like she’d just about had it.

“Of course. There’s lots of other risks. For example, when you confess your love for a friend, you’re risking your ongoing relationship.”

“Come on, now, we already knew that.” Hayama dropped a hand on my shoulder to cut me off, like he was trying to console me. “…I get it, so we’ll manage that part,” he said.

All I could do in response was nod in silence. I was sure Hayama had always handled himself socially way better than someone like me did. So then I figured I didn’t have to worry about it.

But looking up at his face, he didn’t have his usual smile. He was watching the three idiots with an expression that had a somehow sorrowful edge to it.

“Well, I have practice, so sorry, but I’m counting on you to handle the rest… Don’t stay too late, Tobe,” Hayama said, leaving the clubroom.

“Oh, I’m going, too.”

“I have club, too.”

Ooka and Yamato followed after him. It seemed they’d simply come to accompany Tobe and weren’t planning to help us come up with ideas. This is what you call “dumping it on someone else.”

“Roger, roger, I’ll come soon!” Tobe replied to the three of them casually and then turned back to face me. “So, let’s rock this.”

And what exactly do you want me to rock? This town? Your world? Around the clock?

“Okay, but what should we even do about this…?” Yukinoshita muttered, at a loss.

Indeed, we had basically no know-how in the realm of the lovey-dovey. Maybe he just picked the wrong people here. There had to be any number of others who would be better suited for the job.

“Tobe, why are you coming to us about this?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh, well, you know. You guys are Hayato’s top rec, right?”

“Not really… Isn’t this sort of Hayama’s area of expertise?” I said.

Tobe’s head drooped a little. “Oh, well, it’s like, y’know. He’s a really good guy… And he’s good-looking, right? So he doesn’t really have problems with this stuff…”

I understood what Tobe was trying to say. Just as people crack jokes about what hot guys can get away with, you can assume from appearances that Hayama has not, in fact, ever worried about this. It might be difficult for Tobe to share his distress with a classy babe magnet when you can just feel the effort they’re putting in to actually win girls over.

Hayama is an attractive guy, the kind anyone would recognize whether they wanted to or not. I think he’s so attractive, you can’t help but say Whoa!

And I’m not just talking about his face or looks. He’s upbeat and considerate, and it seems as if basically nobody hates him.

But that’s exactly why. That inability to hate him might be the reason you want to distance yourself from him. When someone is so inarguably perfect, their existence itself is a deadly weapon.

Maybe Yukinoshita was on that dimension, too, as someone fundamentally equal to Hayama. But for better or for worse, she’s a jerk. She says and does things that ruin her utterly perfect qualities.

However, it’s fair to call Hayama perfect in personality as well. He’s not only good-looking, he’s sociable, he’s smart, and he’s expressive. He has too many positive traits to count.

That’s why he brings with him a form of torture.

Because when someone is excellent and amazing compared with anyone, that includes you. You don’t have a choice; you’re forced to recognize where you’re inferior and flawed.

That’s why, if you were to try to come up with a flaw of his, that would be it.

Even watching him from afar, you can tell. Maybe people who have seen him up close would feel it even more strongly.

Yuigahama put on a bit of a wry smile, too. “Hmm… It’s true Hayato doesn’t seem like he’d have these problems.”

“Right?” Tobe agreed.

Yukinoshita nodded in response, too, and then gave me a brilliant, beaming smile. “I see. So that’s why you came to consult with Hikigaya.”

“Hey, you’re making it sound like I’m having some massive struggle with relationships,” I snapped back. She said that with such a sweet look on her face.

But Yukinoshita and Yuigahama both looked away.

“…Pff.”

“Agh…”

Yukinoshita breathed a short, pitying sigh, while Yuigahama agreed with a deploring sigh of her own. And then the two of them went silent.

“Don’t go quiet and look away. You’re just making it seem even worse.”

As my mood spiraled steadily downward, Tobe patted me on the shoulder. “Well, so anyway, glad to have your help, Hikitani.”

…Still getting my name wrong.