Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19: GINO’S SECRET (2)

For the sake of convenience, Gino had rented an apartment near the set as well . When Tang Feng went to visit, Gino had just finished taking a shower . His hair was still dripping wet when he went to open the door .

“Did you go for a swim in the ocean?” Tang Feng chuckled when he noticed . “Am I intruding?”

“No, of course not . ” Gino pulled the other through the door and shut it firmly . To an onlooker who didn’t know any better, the speed at which he welcomed Tang Feng in made it seem as if he had some ulterior motives in mind .

“Find a seat . There’s juice and milk in the fridge . The coffee is over there . And that’s the bar . Help yourself,” Gino rattled off while walking off to another room .

Tang Feng grabbed a glass of juice and sat on the couch . He found the remote and turned on the TV . He didn’t know what Gino watched while he was at home, but maybe a bunch of horror movies?

Understandably, he was a bit surprised to see his own name come up on the screen . The movie playing was Life of Luxury, which he’d starred in as the lead actor . He’d never expected Gino to be watching his films, just like he hadn’t expected Gino to have liked him in the past .

After getting changed, Gino walked out of his room . Tang Feng was already several minutes into the movie . Staring at the TV screen, he asked, “Do you like Fiennes’ movies?”

The image of him on the screen was still young, barely into his thirties . It was an age when men were at their most charming . Tang Feng had to admit that he wasn’t as eye-catching in the past as he was now . Fiennes’ appearance could be described as cultured . Luckily, it was something he’d retained throughout his life .

“He’s an amazing actor . ” It was rare for Gino to let go of the chance to make a joke . He sat down quietly beside Tang Feng, eyes drawn to the image of Fiennes on the screen .

Tang Feng took in everything .

Gino truly liked Fiennes . Gino truly liked the past him!

“When I first met him, to be honest, I didn’t like him all that much . You could even say that he irritated me . ” Gino chuckled, and described the circumstances in which he’d met Fiennes . Tang Feng already knew what he was going to say, but it was different hearing Gino’s perspective on the events .

Gino first saw Fiennes at a film festival . At the time, both Gino and Fiennes had been nominated for Best Actor . Gino’s debut performance was very good, if not spectacular . He had chosen a challenging role in a horror movie for his first appearance . Film critics and the audience alike lauded his acting in the movie . He had practically become famous overnight .

Nevertheless, it was obvious that the festival committee liked Fiennes more . Fiennes had already won several awards abroad at international film festivals; it was inevitable that he would win Best Actor this time around as well . Gino could only watch as the trophy that he most certainly deserved sprouted wings and flew away .

“I firmly believed that the Best Actor should’ve gone to me and not to Fiennes . I hated him because of that . At the after party, I couldn’t help myself and said some nasty words to him . ” Gino shook his head while recounting the night . He couldn’t stop a rueful smile from spreading on his face . “Just thinking about it makes me want to hit myself for how immature and laughable I was acting . I was young, so I believed that everything rightfully belonged to me . But looking at it now, I think my performance was child’s play compared to his . ”

“No, I think you acted very well,” Tang Feng blurted out . He quickly added, “I’ve seen your debut movie . I think you did quite well for a newcomer . I could feel the tension in your acting . Most horror movies just go with the established method and rely on exaggerated expressions, but you expressed the inner fear perfectly . I think it was great . ”

A film festival committee was made up of a group of different people, and unfortunately, different people had different tastes .

Gino was too young back then . It was difficult for young actors to win awards if their acting wasn’t downright stunning to the entire public . There were many reasons for that .

One, the judges probably felt that it wasn’t right for someone to win an award right after debuting . After all, there were plenty of actors and actresses who were waiting in line in front of them .

Two, if a newcomer were to win Best Actor or Best Actress, the road ahead of them would become too easy . Would they still struggle and pursue their dreams with as much passion as before?

Lastly, personal interests played a big part in the awards . As people, the judges couldn’t help but be biased . If they were to award someone such a big trophy, would they still be able to put forth acting of the same caliber next time? Suspicions like that ran through their minds all the time .

A good performance wasn’t enough to win Best Actor . Tang Feng experienced plenty of that in his past life .

“Exactly, I thought my acting was quite good as well . In any case, that was how I came across Fiennes . As an immature kid, I butted heads with him at every turn . At that time, Fiennes was pretty influential in Hollywood . He had his own resources and a place to exert his power . If he’d wanted to teach me a lesson, it would have been easy as cake for him . But he never did . He only argued with me occasionally . ”

Gino started laughing, but abruptly ended it with a sigh . He rested his chin on his hand and said, “I know he didn’t like me, because I was an impolite and stupid idiot . ”

“The reason you argued with him… Was it because you wanted to catch his attention?” Tang Feng asked tentatively .

Gino nodded, but he’d come to that realization too late . When he’d finally understood his feelings for Fiennes, the man had passed away .

It had happened in the blink of an eye . A star that had burned the brightest in the sky fell down to earth in mere seconds . He was still reeling from the aftereffects even now . He’d been in love with Fiennes for seven years . How stupid was he to have just discovered it now?

“It’s already too late now . I didn’t even have time to apologize to him . I didn’t even have time to…to tell him that I’ve collected all his movies and every poster imaginable of him . I’ve gone to many of his movie premieres . I’ve even secretly asked after him from other people . ” Gino’s eyes glazed over with a layer of tears as he stared at the man on the TV, a man who had left the world forever . Despite the smile on his face, he was choking up over his words .

“I didn’t even have time to tell him that I love him . Do you know? The more I learn about him, the more I fall in love with him . But I’m an idiot . I didn’t even have the chance to confess . ” Giving in to the tears, Gino covered his face with his hands .

Tang Feng wrapped an arm around his shoulders . He comforted, “He’ll know . He’s listening to every word you’re saying . ” He ended it there and sighed .

He wouldn’t tell Gino about his secret . Even if he did, he wasn’t sure Gino would believe him .

It wasn’t the first time that someone had confessed to him, but Gino’s confession made him feel both warm and remorseful . In the heat of passion, one person might confess to another on the spur of the moment, or maybe it was simply love at first sight . Often, these kinds of impulsive love left as quickly as they came . A strong and passionate start often led to a gloomy and tired end that eventually petered out .

For seven years, Gino’s one-sided love for him continued to trickle like a sluggish stream . The people who had once loved him had become distant due to his continuous hospitalization . Others had left him due to societal pressure . And others still, had buried their feelings for him at the news of his death .

In the half-year since his death, how many people truly missed him?

He didn’t know that Gino had loved, and still loves, him . He also didn’t know why Gino had fallen in love with him, but that was the reality he was faced with right now .

Fiennes Tang had already died . Someone who had departed the world shouldn’t bring harm to the living .

“Gino, do you love Lilith?” Tang Feng asked .

“I can’t face her . After Fiennes passed away, I tried dating a girl instead . Lilith is a great girl . It’s just…I can’t forget about Fiennes,”  Gino replied, his emotions gradually calming down . Tang Feng exited out of the movie and switched to a random channel on the TV .

“I know I’m not in a position to say anything, but Fiennes isn’t coming back anymore . If he knows that you’re suffering because of his death, I’m sure he would be racked with guilt . Gino, let him live on in your memories . You need to look ahead of you . Pull yourself together . I don’t want to spend another morning just filming a bed scene with you . ” Tang Feng tried to cheer Gino up in his own way .

“Sometimes, you act a lot like him . You’re kind to everyone you meet, but that also means you’re distancing yourself from everyone . Because of that, I really liked picking on Fiennes and angering him . He would glare at me and tell me off, but those were the only moments when I felt that he was truly living and breathing . ”

Gino glanced at Tang Feng . With a rare serious expression, he said, “You’re still young . Don’t suppress yourself so much . ”

“Now it’s your turn to lecture me, is it?” Tang Feng chuckled . “Then don’t fall in love with me like you did with Fiennes . I don’t want to be a substitute . ”

Would he be a substitute? Or would he be the true Fiennes?”

It wasn’t important in any case . Tang Feng wanted Gino to step out of Fiennes’ shadow . He wanted Gino to cry because he was reminiscing the past, and not because he was suffering . How long would it take for Gino to be himself again?

“I forgot to ask, did something happen recently?” Tang Feng asked . Gino wouldn’t start acting strange for no reason . Lilith’s words couldn’t have affected him to this point .

“It’s almost his birthday . ”

Tang Feng blinked . He’d completely forgotten about his own birthday .

“Then why don’t we go visit him?” Tang Feng suggested . He rather wanted to see his own grave .

Note : Please download the sponsor's game to support us!