Toradora! - Volume 8 - Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The fair weather from the day before had transformed, and that morning’s sky was covered with heavy snow clouds. The weather forecast predicted a storm before noon. There was no wind at the moment, but light snow was already falling on the ski slopes.

“How are your hands, Takasu-kun?”

Turning around at Kitamura’s voice, Ryuuji waved his glove-covered right hand.

“All good. Just stinging a little.”

During breakfast, he had gotten a light burn—or more like, been burned by Taiga, that unrivaled klutz. In the dining hall, Taiga had been getting a second helping of miso soup when he asked her in a low voice, “So how’d it turn out?” The girls were intent on ignoring the guys that day, too, and he was trying to be inconspicuous.

Taiga’s answer was, “Whaaa?!” Then she spilled her miso soup, which she’d greedily filled to the brim, on Ryuuji’s hand. 

“I’ve realized something… Never get close to Taiga while she’s holding something dangerous.”

“It was an accident, wasn’t it? Why don’t you forgive her?”

“I can’t believe you’re saying the same thing as Taiga… ‘It wasn’t on purpose! It was an accident! Oh no!’ She didn’t even apologize.”

“There was all that stuff that happened yesterday. A lot’s going on.” 

Just let it go. Kitamura’s mouth twisted, and he raised his palms up in the air. Ryuuji just raised his eyebrows slightly in response.

The morning was their free time.

He could see people laughing as they started to practice skiing and began falling over. There were even some people in the process of making snowmen. Noto and Haruta were probably long gone up the lift, headed to the courses.

“You don’t have to hang around with me. You can go to the courses.”

“I was planning on teaching you how to turn today, Takasu.”

“It’s fine. I’m okay.”

Kitamura wouldn’t be able to enjoy skiing with Ryuuji around, and knowing how intense Kitamura could get about teaching, he wanted to be spared the lesson.

“No matter what I do, I can’t get a feel for it. Taiga’s staying back, too. She’s probably pulling her sled over there, anyway, so I’ll join her.”

They waved at each other as Kitamura went off towards the lift, and they parted ways. Ryuuji walked towards the gently inclining edge of the slopes.

Whether Taiga had stayed behind or not, there was something he wanted to think about on his own. His head was so muddled that there was no way he could have fun skiing with his friends.

The snow sucked at his boots as he walked. It was a lot colder than the day before, and his face stung. He slowly advanced towards the lodge that acted as a rest area at the bottom of the slopes, doing his best not to fall.

Asking about Minori’s true feelings, or even knowing what her true intentions were, didn’t amount to anything. He felt like his heart had been knocked right out of him, like a disastrous game of Jenga, and other pieces of himself were collapsing into the spot where it had been. He was helpless, in pain, and it didn’t seem relief was coming anytime soon.

Ryuuji inhaled and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t slept much the day before. He knew that thinking about it wouldn’t do anything and that Minori’s feelings wouldn’t change no matter how much he thought about it, but the fight he’d witnessed had kept going around and around in his mind all night.

He had a vague feeling that there was something that Ami and Minori had both agreed on not saying out loud in that fight. There was something that Ryuuji didn’t know about, and it was eating away at him.

If that were the case, then there was something that even Ami was hiding from him.

He breathed out white as he thought about it. There was something that Minori, Ami, Taiga and Kitamura all couldn’t talk about, but at the same time, desperately wanted to say. If they’d just come out with it, the gears might turn without disharmony or deception.

But no one said it. They couldn’t say it. They were scared that exposing everything might bring them to a point of no return. They were nervous, and so they swallowed their words. They’ll get it even if I don’t say anything, right? They’ll understand, right? We’ll understand each other, right? 

But of course, they still wanted to talk about it. And sometimes it would show itself like a needle, poking at them. 

He looked around at the gaudy gear of the people scattered across the slopes and found Taiga. She was with Minori. They were riding a sled together, laughing. He didn’t have any reason to intrude on them when they were like that, so Ryuuji turned around. 

His eyes came upon Ami.

“Oh,” he said. “What are you doing in a place like this?”

“My ankle hurts a little bit, so I’m resting.”

Squatting down in the soft snow few people made their way to, Ami was gloomily building a snow mountain by herself. He was taken aback by her reply—she had been crabby and spiteful, telling him that she hated him because he was stupid for so long, after all.

Plus, there was all the stuff that happened the day before. Ryuuji was a little uneasy as he walked towards her.

“Did you fall down…?”

Ami had stuck her rental skis and poles up in the snow behind her. “Yeah. I’m tired, and I can’t even go to get coffee at the lodge because I forgot my wallet.”

“So now you’re making a mountain by yourself?”

“It’s not a mountain. This is supposed to be Kamakura—like the city in the mountains.”

If that’s supposed to be Kamakura, it’s sort of doomed. Even Ryuuji, an absolute amateur when it came to snow, couldn’t help but think that as he watched Ami’s gloved hands pat the small, fragile mound.

“Aren’t you supposed to start out by rolling a snowball like you’re making a snowman instead of making a giant pile of snow?”

“I’m fine with this.”

Ami stayed stubbornly crouched down and continued to build the mountain. She placed the snow she scooped up with her gloved hand on the mound and patted it down. No matter how long she did that, it wouldn’t end up becoming the Kamakura she wanted.

I understand, even if you don’t say anything, Ryuuji thought as he watched her face, which seemed to be reflecting the white snow. The previous day’s dispute with Minori had gotten to Ami in the end. That was why she was alone here, meaninglessly gathering snow to pass the time. It was like she was churning through her own messed-up mind.

“Oh, hey!”

“I’m just helping you.”

He sat across from her and started to pile up more snow. He didn’t intend to try to comfort her, or get more information about the fight, or anything of that sort. He hadn’t forgotten that she’d said she hated him because he was stupid, either.

It was just that Ryuuji was also alone. No matter how much time passed, it wasn’t as though Ami’s Kamakura would be done. It wasn’t as though he felt like he could leave her alone there as she vainly packed together the snow. Plus, if Ami really thought he was in the way, she would have told him so.

“Hey, you have to make sure you compact it…”

“…”

“C’mon, do it. You put so much effort into piling it up when it’s just gonna keep collapsing.”

Ami’s hands stopped, causing an avalanche above the snow Ryuuji had piled up. It started to collapse, and resigned, Ryuuji stretched out his hand to pat it down.

“Oh?!”

Ami stuck her head face first into the mountain. She did it with the energy of the drunkest person at a party sticking their face into a cake as a joke.

“What the heck are you doing?! Isn’t it cold?! Is this some kind of beauty treatment?!” Ryuuji exclaimed. She stayed like that for a few seconds. “Excuse me, but—”

Finally, Ami lifted her head. Snow stuck to her eyelashes and eyebrows. Her cheeks and nose had flushed bright red from the cold.

“There’s something I need to tell you, Takasu-kun…”

“Hey, I get it, I get it. There’s probably a lot you’ve got to say. For starters, how about you apologize for calling me an idiot?”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s not…that.”

Ami rested her chin on the peak of the collapsed snow pile and quietly closed her eyes. She took a breath through her nose, held it for a while, and then took another.

“It might be my fault that Minori-chan rejected you…” she said.

Ryuuji just looked at Ami’s face. Wha? he mouthed without a sound.

“Earlier…when you weren’t around, I said something nasty to Minori-chan. I don’t even know why I said it, but I can’t take it back. I think Minori-chan’s been thinking about it for a long time, and that’s why she rejected you.”

He couldn’t understand what she meant. “Uhhh…well anyway…what was it that you said?”

“Are you angry? Ha ha. I guess anyone would be angry.”

“Well, it’s not like I can say anything about it if I don’t know the details.”

“I can’t tell you.”

There it was. Another thing no one could talk about.

“Plus, yesterday, I started a fight with Minori. I said some nasty things I regret, but I still get annoyed whenever I look at her face. I can’t help it. There are a lot of things that annoy me, but the main thing is that she absolutely won’t talk straight to anyone. No matter how much I tried to start a fight, I couldn’t get Minori-chan to actually say what she was feeling.”

Her long eyelashes cast down, Ami slowly extended her hand.

She smashed the mountain of snow violently. She chopped at it until it was utterly destroyed. Then she took a breath.

“I don’t like you because you’re an idiot…”

“That again…”

“I hate myself because I’m an idiot, too. I—”

As though she’d exhausted herself, she sat down in the middle of the mess of snow she had made. She brushed away the ruins of the snow mountain with her hands, breaking it down, scattering it around, and then looked up at the dull, silver sky.

“Hey, Takasu-kun.”

It was starting to snow harder, and the slivers of ice adhered to Ami’s hair. Ryuuji could only look at her, hung up on finding the words he should have said.

“Apparently Taiga’s been trying to become independent recently. Minori-chan just straight out rejected you. They’ve both let go of your hands now, and I was thinking that maybe, I’d grab your hand instead. Actually, this all went exactly to plan. I’ve always been thinking of trying to ask you out. Because I like you. What would you do if I said that? None of it is true, though.”

She said it all faster than he could understand.

“You said that way too fast! You didn’t even give me a chance to be surprised before you turned everything around!”

Trying to gain control over his leaping heart, Ryuuji desperately rubbed at his own face. His snow-covered gloves made his already freezing nose grow even colder.

Ami didn’t even smile as she simply stared at Ryuuji.

“But none of it’s true, anyway. If you believed that, it wouldn’t be according to plan. I didn’t want it to end up this way. But, well…I really did stick my nose into something I shouldn’t have.”

Her mouth touched the snow. It melted as it was touched. The faint smile that finally came over her lips vanished just as quickly.

“I’m racked with guilt… I’m self-destructing, too. This is what happened because of all my mistakes.”

“This is what happened… By that, do you mean Kushieda rejecting me? I don’t want you to take the blame for that. I don’t know what happened between you and Kushieda, but I’m not the kind of person who blames other people for being rejected.”

“Right…”

Ami sniffled and got up slowly. Then, with her usual cute and perfect smile, she looked down at Ryuuji.

“Well then, shall we end this friendship?”

“Huh?”

Ami took her gloves off, put them under her arm, and made rings with her thumbs and pointer fingers. “Break it off, break our ties,” she said in a sing-song voice, and then pulled the rings apart.

“Why are you breaking it off with me…”

“Because you’re an idiot and I hate you…so, it’s punishment.”

That made two people who hated each other for being idiots, now. Without saying who exactly was being punished, or for what, Ami turned around.

What is this?

Words just weren’t enough.

Ryuuji watched her go, frozen and at a loss for words.

“DIMHUAHUA, GET OUTTA THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

“I’M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE! I’M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE! I’M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSEEEEEEEE!””

Taiga and Minori shot into view, roaring over on a sled. Though they had their feet desperately outstretched, they were going too fast to stop. Dumbfounded, Ryuuji could only watch as, first, Taiga tumbled off the sled, scattering the snow. Next, losing her balance, Minori was also thrown off.

The unmanned sled knocked over Ami and continued sliding back to the entrance to the slopes.

“I told you to get out of the way…” Taiga scowled as she dug Ami out of the snow. 

“Y…youuu! Just how many times do you need to fall off that sled before you’re done?! Are you an idiot?! Why’d you keep riding that sled?! Just walk around on the snow, you numbskull!”

“That’s why I’m a-pol-o-giz-ing. I know! I’ll get you a soft-serve ice cream at the lodge. My treat.”

“I don’t neeeeeed that! It’s freezing, you idiot!”

Ami’s angry kicks connected with Taiga’s butt, but the oversized gear protected her, and it didn’t seem to have much of an effect. 

“Soooorry, Ahmin! S-sorry we couldn’t stop… Forgive us! I’m sorry!” Minori rushed over to apologize, too.

“Why would I forgive you?!” Ami glared at Minori as her voice cracked. “It was on purpose, wasn’t it?! That had to be on purpose! I felt murder coming off of you!”

“What?! No, no, of course not. We just couldn’t stop, is all!”

“That was so on purpose! I’m just going to say it—you’re still angry about what happened yesterday, right?! You came to interfere, didn’t you?! That’s definitely what this is! I know it!”

Ami’s cheeks and eyes turned bright red as she shouted. There was a blood vessel popping on her temple that looked so cartoonish it might burst. Her nose was red, too, and then to top it all off, she threw snow at Minori.

She scored a lucky hit right in Minori’s face. Minori staggered for a moment.

“Whaaaaat?! Are you talking about how you were trying to start a fight with me, Ahmin?! I let that go, but you’re the one who’s bringing it back up again!”

Ahhh… Taiga and Ryuuji’s eyes met. You stop them—No, you stop them, they communicated silently. 

However, the two of them weren’t supposed to know anything about what happened in the girls’ room last night. Intervening would be difficult.

“What do you mean you let it go?! You’ve been ignoring me ever since this morning!”

“That’s because there was nothing to talk about! Or is it that I’ve got to entertain you or else I’m ignoring you?!”

“The way you look down on me has really been bugging me! You brawn-for-brains woman!”

“Who’s looking down on you?! Maybe you’re just getting carried away because I’m trying to be the better person?!” 

Bam! Minori’s hands came down on Ami’s shoulders.

“Why you…”

Ami seemed like she was going to return the favor, but Minori quickly grabbed hold of Ami’s hand and gave her a solid smack. They glared at each other. When it came to reflexes, Ami was no match for Minori.

“Don’t you dare hit my face!”

“It’s not like you’re an actress!”

Their voices echoed across the snow-covered mountain as they stomped their feet. Ami’s voice was like a high-pitched shriek. 

“I-I’ve always hated you, just so you know! You’ve always annoyed the hell out of me!”

“Oh, I see! And who cares about that? I don’t care whether you hate me or not—it doesn’t hurt or bug me at all!” Minori wasn’t backing down. Their argument got even more heated. 

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate everything about you!!!” 

“Same here! I don’t care about you at all! I’ll never listen to you again!” 

“Oh, I’d love that!” 

“Actually, why haven’t you just gone back to your old school?! Hurry up and go back where you belong!” 

“That has nothing to do with youuuu?! You pauper! Go work at part-time jobs your whole life!” 

“What’d you say?! Why don’t you put some makeup on that fake face and go back to modeling your whole life?!” 

“Whaaat?!” 

They had crossed the line into saying things that should have remained unspoken. Their quarrel was accelerating. They jabbed intermittently at each other’s shoulders, getting to the point they were doing it harder than they would have if they were joking. 

“You want to do this?!” 

“I won’t apologize even if you start crying!” 

“I have to go back up Minorin! Let’s go, Ryuuji! Why you, Dimhuahua!”

“Hey! You got it wrong, dummy! Stop that!”

“This is such a terrifying scene! It’s like a nightmare!”

“Your fight with the patriarch was way scarier! Your nose was bleeding all over!”

People around them had noticed the shouting and were beginning to gather around in curiosity. Just then, Taiga and Ryuuji pulled them apart.

“Ah!”

Only Taiga saw it. 

The orange hairpin holding up Minori’s bangs flew off as Ami’s hand hit it. It fell a little ways away on top of the fresh snow. Ami and Minori’s quarrel was still violent, and no one else had noticed the hairpin.

Trying to not lose sight of it, Taiga ran towards the pin. It was precious. She absolutely could not let it get lost. Her legs sank into the soft snow, and she reached out her hand.

“…Uh.”

Suddenly, there was nothing under her sunken foot. She didn’t even have time to scream as the snow in front of her eyes gave way, and she fell.

Maya, Nanako, and Kitamura came running up.

“Get a hold of yourselves! What are you two doing?!”

“But—but—but—she! It’s not my fault!”

“All I did was respond to her trying to start a fight!”

When they finally pulled the two apart, even the bachelorette (age 30) had come over. Ami was held back by Kitamura, seething as she breathed hard. Minori was glaring at Ami while grinding her teeth. A group had gathered, murmuring in surprise at the unusual confrontation between Minori and Ami. The two were surrounded.

Even Ryuuji was surprised. How had it gotten this bad?

“Anyway, you go with Kushieda and have her calm down—Taiga?”

Huh? He looked around. He realized he couldn’t find Taiga, even though he thought she had been beside him.

“Taiga’s not here…”

Minori turned around as she heard him mutter. She stopped glaring at Ami. Her eyes went wide as she looked up at Ryuuji.

“She was here just a second ago. She was with you, trying to stop the fight…”

“Taiga…”

Minori looked around, taking in her surroundings. Then her gaze stopped. At around the same time, Ryuuji saw it, too.

It was the footprints of a single person in the snow. Minori shook herself free from Ryuuji’s grasp on her shoulders. She walked to follow those footprints, and Ryuuji continued after her.

“These…huh, it—it couldn’t be. Taiga…”

“N-no way…”

They realized that the snow piled up a bit and then dropped off into a cliff. They also noticed formations of jutting snow that had fallen down. When they looked down, they held their breaths as a strong gust of wind assaulted them.

On the steep slope where the Japanese cedars grew, they found the traces of someone who had fallen. They didn’t know how far the tracks went.

***

Apparently the Palmtop Tiger’s missing.

Was the kid who disappeared from Class C the Palmtop Tiger?!

Gathered in the large hall of the lodge, the second years were causing a commotion. Beyond the fogged-up windows, the weather outside was stormy, as predicted by the forecast. The snow was striking down. It was a blizzard.

“Takasu-kun, I just heard back from Ms. Koigakubo about what’s going on. Apparently, the slope Aisaka fell down is a conifer forest, and the road under it is closed during the winter. The people in charge of the ski resort are searching from the road, but if they can’t find her, they’re going to leave it to the police… Takasu!”

“Ugh…”

Kitamura clapped in front of Ryuuji’s face, making him finally raise his head in surprise at the sound. 

“Get a hold of yourself! They’ll definitely find her, so it’ll be okay!”

“Uh…right.”

That was all he could muster. He was sitting on a hard chair carved from a log. Ryuuji felt like he was in a bad dream. He dropped his eyes to the faint, red burn on his right hand. That klutz, he groaned in the back of his throat.

At long last, that klutz—Taiga—had gone and made a fatal blunder.

He had even seen her fall down a flight of stairs right before his eyes. She fell down, crashed into things, spilled stuff, got knocked down—those kinds of things were everyday occurrences for her. Just the other day, she was almost run over by a car. His burned right hand was proof of Taiga’s blunders. 

And yet despite that, Taiga had never really injured herself until now. Her miraculous luck had held up so far, but at long last, it had come to this.

He blamed himself for not immediately noticing she’d disappeared from his side, and those feelings were swirling inside his head. She’d just disappeared—just like the night of the Christmas Eve party. He prayed that it was the same this time.

Back then, Taiga had been safe at home. Once he noticed she was missing, he ran back to her.

But this time…

Even looking out the window was too terrifying. He imagined what would happen if they didn’t find her in this weather and then immediately drowned it out. That couldn’t happen. That would absolutely not happen. Taiga was a klutz, but on the other hand, she had good reflexes, and her body was strangely sturdy. She would come up with something. It would absolutely work out. It would.

Bringing his hands together as if in prayer, Ryuuji squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t notice the worried looks coming from Noto and Haruta across from him.

In a corner of his mind, he still couldn’t help but think the unavoidable. If only he could rewind time—if only he could go back to that moment—he absolutely would not have taken his eyes off Taiga. He would have grabbed Taiga’s hand and never let go.

Even if people suspected they had a father-daughter-like relationship, even if it got in the way of Taiga living alone, even if it got in the way of their love lives—he would never let go of Taiga’s hand again. If anyone said anything about their relationship, he’d just ignore them. 

“What a crazy blizzard…”

Ryuuji turned around.

In the seat right behind Ryuuji’s, Minori was glaring out the window. She pursed her lips tightly and pulled her beanie down low. She put on her gloves and zipped her gear all the way to the top. Ryuuji had a bad feeling.

“Kushieda…what do you think you’re doing?”

“Look at that blizzard. We’ve got to find her fast. I’m going out to look.”

As soon as she stood up, he grabbed her in a panic.

“Are you an idiot?! You’ll get into an accident, too!”

“I can’t just stay here doing nothing! It’s fine, I’ll definitely come right back! Just let me go where we went before and back! I’ll come back after that!”

She didn’t wait for an answer but shook her arm free of Ryuuji’s grip. Minori actually started walking out. 

“Don’t,” Kitamura yelled, but Minori didn’t listen. She freed herself from Kitamura’s attempts to grab her as well, and kept going steadily down the wooden stairs to the first floor. No matter how many times Ryuuji grabbed her shoulder, she swatted him away, and eventually, he resolved himself.

“Damn it…then I’m going, too!”

“I’ll go, too! Noto! Haruta! Tell the teacher that we left!” Kitamura yelled. 

“Whaa?! You can’t!” Noto and the others stood up in surprise, but Ryuuji couldn’t stop Minori, and they couldn’t let her go alone, either.

What are we going to do?! Noto and Haruta ran to where the teachers were. Behind them, Ami sat alone, her pale face lowered. She was silent, and her expression didn’t change.

As the regular ski guests retreated from the storm, Ryuuji and Kitamura desperately followed Minori. Snow piled up along the edges of their goggles in the blink of an eye and pulled at their feet. At last, Ryuuji grabbed hold of Minori’s arm, and Kitamura grabbed her from the other side.

“Don’t rush, Kushieda! If we’re really going to try finding Aisaka, we need to calm down and look around!”

“…”

Minori finally turned around and grimaced. Her shoulders shook as she took a harsh breath and gave him a single nod.

The blowing snowstorm seemed to be pushing them back as the three continued forward with their arms locked together. The place where Minori and Ami fought wasn’t far from the lodge. It was just at the foot of the slopes.

“Around here, there were traces that she slipped!”

Minori seemed excited as she quickly got as close to the cliff as she could. She pointed at some piled snow that seemed to have concealed the marks.

“Watch out! Don’t get too close!”

“But she’s somewhere below this isn’t she?! Taigaaaaaaa! Answer meeeeee!”

Ryuuji braced his boots desperately to keep from falling and grabbed Minori’s sleeve as she stretched to look down. Right before his eyes, the snow at the tips of Minori’s boots began to crumble. He felt cold sweat on his back.

As he supported Minori, he looked down at the trees growing on the snowy slope. He couldn’t see the bottom. If it wasn’t for the blizzard, they might have been able to see traces of where she fell down. 

“What’s that…?”

Something shone in the snow.

It was way ahead of where they had been looking. It was in the shadow of the slope, right below where they looked. The small, orange thing twinkled like a single shining star in a night sky the color of snow. 

It really was tiny, like it might be covered by the falling and gathering snow any moment now. But Ryuuji could clearly see it.

“Taiga!”

She’d fallen while trying to pick it up. If that was the case, if they went down using that as a landmark, they were sure to find her.

“Huh?! You saw something?! Was Taiga there?! Did you find her?!”

“Probably! Hurry, call someone… No, we might lose sight of it… Dammit! Kushieda, go call a teacher, or any adult, over here! Kitamura, stay here. If I don’t come back up, pull me up or call for help!”

“No, I’ll—” Minori tried to say something and then held it back. “Okay!”

With one quick nod, she ran off into the blizzard. Using Kitamura as a landmark, Ryuuji slid down the slope on his butt.

It was too steep to walk down. He slipped a bit and grabbed a tree, then slipped again and clung to another. When his leg would get buried, he would pull it out. What he was headed for was the incredibly tiny light of the hairpin.

Don’t disappear, no matter what, don’t disappear, Ryuuji practically screamed as he desperately went down the slope. I’m almost there, he wheezed as he grasped at the snow. He wiped at the ice on his goggles.

He might have gone down twenty meters. It was a place not visible from the road below. He reached below the branches of the overgrown evergreens, grabbed the hairpin, and looked around.

“T-Taiga!”

He found her almost immediately nearby.

Halfway buried in the soft snow, Taiga had fallen in a space between the roots of a large tree, her body curled up into a ball. Being careful not to tumble down himself, he approached that hollow by crawling. Burying his boots deep in the snow to secure his footing, Ryuuji stretched out his arm and pulled at her small body.

“Taiga! Taiga! Taiga!”

As he brought her up from the snow, Taiga’s head limply fell back. He supported her neck as he pulled her up. Her neck was warm, and she had a pulse. She had probably hit her head on a tree as she fell down. He saw something red on her forehead and held his breath. 

For the first time in his life, he felt a trembling sensation start from the bottom of his stomach and make its way up his spine.

“Ow…”

He heard a small voice. Taiga’s eyelashes trembled, and she grimaced. She was alive. She was safe. 

Ryuuji took in a deep breath, exhaled, and stared up the slope. He didn’t have time to think or even to feel relieved. He held Taiga’s 40 kilograms to him as he began to crawl up the snowy slope on all fours. Whenever he took a step, the snow collapsed and turned into a small avalanche that went down the cliff. He couldn’t brace himself. 

They might have no choice but to wait there for help. He groaned, feeling absolutely powerless, but then in that moment Taiga’s arm moved. She was clinging to Ryuuji’s torso.

“I fell… It hurts…” she groaned deliriously. If Taiga could hold on to him, that changed the situation.

He buried himself up to the knees in snow again. Grasping the branches and roots of the trees protruding from the snow, Ryuuji continued to crawl back up the slope. He wanted to talk to Taiga, but this wasn’t the time. He ground his teeth. He had to focus everything on moving forward without dropping her.

“Ryuuji…”

Taiga’s hand touched his face. Clack. Her gloveless hand felt the goggles. She might have mistaken them for glasses.

“Oh…Kitamura-kun?”

Taiga was mistaken.

He didn’t mind. Or rather, this wasn’t the time for him to correct her. He just needed to keep crawling up.

“I thought you were Ryuuji… In times like these, the one who comes to save me…is always Ryuuji… Sorry… I’m sorry…”

The voice he heard was strangely bright. But there was something unfocused about it, like she was talking in her sleep. Taiga wasn’t completely conscious. Her voice was fluttery, high-pitched, and more absent than usual. 

She continued to whisper into Ryuuji’s ear. 

“Kitamura-kun, you know…you didn’t really help much…”

His foot slipped wildly. Ryuuji screamed in the back of his throat. If Taiga hadn’t been holding on to him, he would have lost his balance, and they would have both fallen.

“Sorry, but you’re not really doing that great as the Patron Saint of Broken Hearts… The thing I asked for didn’t come true at all… My feelings for Ryuuji just won’t go away… I wanted to become stronger…but it didn’t work…”

Ryuuji grabbed Taiga’s clothes as she began to slip. He ground his teeth even harder, held her as firmly as he could, and looked up.

He could see Kitamura. Kitamura was looking at him and yelling something. It was just a bit further.

“I just like Ryuuji, no matter what I do… I want things to work out for him with Minorin… It’s so hard. It’s just so hard, everything is so hard… I can’t…”

“…”

“I’m no good, right…? I wanted to do my best, being alone… I kept saying that I’d get through it, but it was all talk… In the end…all I could do was wait to be saved… I’m weak, weak…weak… I hate it…”

Tears fell from Taiga’s still closed eyes. Then her hands relaxed. Suddenly the weight of her whole body was on his arm. Ryuuji desperately directed all his strength into his right arm. He pulled Taiga’s torso with all of his strength, but his foot slipped, and he lost his balance.

They would fall—they were falling—

“Huh?!”

There was a sturdy hand being offered right before his eyes. Adults wearing matching gaudy fluorescent outfits came down one after another, and in the blink of an eye, lightly lifted Ryuuji and Taiga along with them. It was the people from the ski resort, or maybe the police.

“Are you okay?! You’re not hurt?!”

“I’m not! But Taiga! There’s blood, here…”

He didn’t care what they were or who they were. Ryuuji wailed desperately at someone who handed him a blanket. We got it, the adults in the fluorescent clothes answered with nods and ran off carrying Taiga.

He couldn’t even sit. He just fell onto the snow and gasped. His vision was painted over white—it was the blizzard. The blizzard has penetrated all the way into his head.

He realized that Minori had rushed over to his side. Kitamura, too. Finally, he knew what it was that they couldn’t tell him. He also knew how stupid he had been.

The knot that held everything together had been undone. It had been pulled too hard, and the string was tearing.

“Kitamura… I need a favor.”

Ryuuji rested his head on the borrowed shoulder of his worried friend. “Could you say that you were the one who went down to save Taiga just now? If Taiga asks, tell her you didn’t hear anything. Taiga was unconscious the entire time. She didn’t say anything. Please tell her that…please!”

Kitamura supported Ryuuji’s jacket-clad back. “I didn’t say anything because Aisaka asked me to keep it a secret, but—”

Through the goggles, he couldn’t see Kitamura’s expression.

“During the new year, I happened to run into Aisaka. She seemed really depressed and seriously asked me…if she could pay respects to me as the Patron Saint of Broken Hearts. Does it have anything to do with that?”

Ryuuji didn’t answer. He couldn’t answer. If he opened his mouth, he didn’t know what kind of sound he would make.

“So it does… Right. So, that happened on Christmas Eve, and then New Year’s happened. I see…”

No one was at fault. It’s not your fault. Kitamura’s words were blown away in the blizzard.

***

In the end, Taiga was mostly uninjured. God had definitely given her a sturdy body suitable for a klutz.

When they sat down for dinner, the teachers recounted that she just had a small graze on her temple. Apparently, she just wanted to die from embarrassment at causing such a fuss.

Ryuuji heard relieved voices from all over the place, but some tactless individual raised their hand and asked, “Does that mean we can see her tomorrow?”

However, the bachelorette’s (age 30) response was surprising.

“Well, Aisaka-san will spend the night in the hospital, and then tomorrow, her mother will pick her up. So, she’s going home ahead of us. It’d be hard for her to travel by bus again like that.”

Without thinking, Ryuuji dropped his chopsticks.

Her mother—did that mean her real mother? Was her mother, who didn’t even come when Taiga was suspended, who had never so much as shown up at their school, going to come to this remote ski resort? Even when Taiga was practically uninjured?

“That’s great, isn’t it, Taka-kun?! Tiger’s gonna be fine~!”

“Uh, yeah…”

Haruta’s eyes stopped on Ryuuji’s chest pocket. “Huh? So that hairpin ended up getting back to you, huh, Taka-chan?”

Ryuuji had stuck it unthinkingly in his pocket when he picked it up from the snow. Haruta whispered in his ear like an idiot, “Actually, is this the Christmas present that you tried to give…that person before? You threw away wrapping paper with trees on it, too, didn’t you? I saw it, but I didn’t understand what it meant until now…”

“Basically…”

Ryuuji’s head was still in the middle of a storm. Even as he shrugged his shoulders in affirmation, he wasn’t seeing anything around him at all. There was too much to think about.

That was why he hadn’t noticed. Sitting just a bit away from them, a certain person had turned herself into a full-body radar unit as she tried to eavesdrop on what Ryuuji had to say. When she heard their conversation, she immediately understood.

She understood the results of everything she had been doing on purpose and even the things she’d done completely unintentionally.

Without anyone seeing, she stood up silently and ran from the noisy, boisterous dining room. She jogged out into the freezing hallway and arrived at the unoccupied lounge.

She collapsed onto the sofa that Ryuuji had been sitting on the night before.

She clutched her knees and buried her face as tears ran under her hands. She didn’t know why she was sad, but she knew only that she hated her thin, girlish hands. She absolutely hated her hands, which were only good for hiding her face as she cried.

Alone, Minori covered her face with her hands, shrinking smaller and smaller into a ball as she cried soundlessly for some time.

The blizzard was supposed to end the next day.

However, the sound of the wind throwing snow against the windows was fierce. It blew violently enough to freeze their feet, even as it continued to shake the windows.