Toradora! - Volume 8 - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“The beach! The sun! Okinawa!”

“The poisonous snakes! Dr. Koto! Okinawa!”

BABAM! Two class trip permission slips were unveiled ­before Ryuuji’s eyes as he came into the classroom. He pushed them away.

“What’s with you all of a sudden…?”

Ryuuji’s eyes narrowed into the shapes of crescents, harshly oozing out his unhappy mood. A normal person would have been in tears, but Noto and Haruta, who had developed a tolerance, looked fine as they lined their faces up chummily in front of him.

“What is it with you, Takasu? You’re in a bad mood! Did you bring it? Did you bring this thing? The permission slip?!”

“Happy New Year! It’s Okinawa! We’re there five nights and six days and don’t have to pay anything to go~! Whoo!”

It’s not actually free… Ryuuji looked quietly back up at the naive idiot Haruta’s face that year, too. Today, of all days, he was jealous of his friend’s stupid face, which had no worries. 

However, Haruta had mistaken his gaze for something else, and the color in his face changed. “Uh, what’s wrong, Taka-chan? Stop it! My permission slip is for me!”

“I don’t need that thing. I brought my own in already.”

He really was jealous.

Ryuuji’s lips stayed pinched together as he put his bag on his seat. He was aware that his bad mood, which he couldn’t play off as anything else, had caused Noto and Haruta to exchange looks, but he couldn’t explain it to them. He couldn’t get himself to tell them that he had been heartbroken ever since Kushieda Minori, who could walk into the classroom at any moment, had rejected him on Christmas Eve. He also couldn’t tell them that just a few minutes earlier, when Minori brightly greeted him as though nothing had changed, he’d completely ignored her and run away.

He sat at his seat and held his head in his hands. The more he recalled it, the more he felt like he had done something petty. In the end, wasn’t he the worst? Even though he had been rejected, wasn’t it pretty much only the worst scum who would so obviously ignore someone like that?

It was petty and the worst and made him scum… He was already feeling terrible, but he was sure he had unnecessarily deepened his wounds even further. If he kept this up, he would keep falling into the negatives, and she’d start hating him.

“Ahhhh…whoa…fwhoa!”

“Hey! Hey!” Noto pulled away Ryuuji’s hands, which he was using to tear at his hair. “Takasu, what’re you grumbling about? What’s actually gotten into you? Did something happen? Oh, are you just feeling off from the aftereffects of the flu?”

“Actually, that was a shock. I couldn’t believe it when we asked you to go start-of-year shrine visiting, and you were like, ‘I just got back from being hospitalized, so I can’t go.’ But look, maybe you’ll feel better after seeing this! I’m suuuper excited about the trip, so I went ahead and bought this! Whoo~! Take a look at it!”

His hands, which had been holding his head, were slapped to the side. Ryuuji had a book thrust right in front of his face. What Haruta was showing him proudly was a guidebook. Despite of himself, Ryuuji found his eyes glued to the cover, which had a picture and text that read, “The Complete Guide to Okinawa!”

The shining sun. The deep blue sky. The green, glittering coral reef. The beach that was so white it looked fake. Young people in swimsuits were smiling as the wind ruffled their hair. The boys and girls were in the water up to their knees and holding each other’s shoulders in a friendly way…and they each even held a giant pineapple in their hands!

“Aha ha ha ha ha!”

He started to laugh. The corners of his eyes started to water. He wasn’t sad, just done in by the ridiculous juxtaposition of the beautiful scene and his current state.

The people in the picture were bright, brilliant, and really did look like they were having fun. He was like the shadow that would form under their feet. It was funny. It was actually hilarious.

Ryuuji didn’t know how Noto had interpreted that laughter, but he relaxed. Like an otter that had captured a small fish in its hands, Noto laughed, too. “Ehee hee!” It was so uncute, it was irritating.

“Aren’t you so looking forward to it?! This blue ocean! We’re so lucky that we get to go to Okinawa for a school trip! My old junior high buddy is going to Kyoto and Nara for his high school trip, and we went there during junior high, too! Like, you can only take so many temples and shrines!”

“Hee hee, how cruel! There’s this one place I definitely want to go to in Okinawa! Cape Mambo!”

He probably means Cape Manzamo… Ryuuji thought distantly.

“And also the US bases! Look, don’t they look cool?! The mariners!”

You mean marines…and normal people can’t get into the bases anyway, Ryuuji thought even more distantly. Regardless, he didn’t have the strength to make fun of Haruta. 

“Aim and fire!” Haruta said, and finally Noto stopped. “You’ve got the wrong idea of Okinawa.”

“Yo, morning! You’re already looking at Okinawa guidebooks! You’re so eager to do your homework!”

They turned at the energetic voice that was so obviously that of an athlete and put up their hands in greeting. “Yo.” The boy whose friendly eyes squinted from behind his glasses as he raised his hand in reply was the student council vice president and class rep, Kitamura Yuusaku.

“Takasu, I heard you had the flu at the end of the year? That must have been tough. Are you okay now?”

“Uh…yeah…”

“What is it? What happened? You don’t seem like you’re doing great. Hah! Your high fever couldn’t have…”

Wrinkles appeared on Kitamura’s forehead as he looked fervently and intently in the vicinity of Ryuuji’s crotch. Ryuuji crossed his legs and guarded himself from the stare.

“Yo, master. Are you doing it this year, too? This thing.”

Noto hit his hands together twice and bowed his head. What he was indicating with that gesture was, of course…

“You mean being the Patron Saint of Broken Hearts? Of course I am! I’m going to get a firm grip on the students’ hearts this year, too! I’ll appeal to people with my new persona and save the brokenhearted from the darkness of… What’s wrong, Takasu? Why are you looking at me?”

“Nothing…”

Ryuuji shook his head in a fluster. He averted his eyes from Kitamura’s, which were about twice as big and more defined than Noto’s. Oh, no. He had reacted without thinking to the keyword “brokenhearted.”

“It’s just, there are issues with continuing the Patron Saint of Broken Hearts broadcast program… We’ve started to run out of brokenhearted guests. We’ve finished with the student council members and even gone through the softball underclassmen… If we keep going like this, the program will be in trouble.”

“Can’t you prepare some plants for that? Oh, look, I already found a good candidate!”

Ryuuji looked where Noto pointed and then closed his eyes. “Whoa!” He turned his face down and gripped his knees until his nails turned white. He wanted to run. He wanted to just get away, but…

“Yo, Kushieda! You cut your hair, didn’t you?! You must have had a heartbreak?! Come be on Kitamura’s broken hearts radio show!”

“Huh? Kushieda, is that why you cut your hair? You barely cut it, so it’s hard to even tell. If you’re gonna do it, be more daring about trimming it back. Make it like the bald cap I gave you! Right, Taka-chan?!”

Haruta had latched right on to his back, and he couldn’t run…

Ryuuji lifted his eyes. He gritted his back teeth and stole a glance. Taking off her tartan-checked scarf, Minori spoke as brightly as usual, like she had forgotten all about Ryuuji just ignoring her.

“You boys are so loud! Could you keep out of people’s heads?! Pervy wervy one touchy!”

Hey, we’ve got an idiot here, that’s an idiot. Noto and Haruta pointed at Minori as they laughed at her. Even Kitamura got carried along and laughed with abandon as he stretched out his arms.

“You’re always welcome if you got your heart broken! Come jump into my arms! And then go on the radio!”

“You got it, master! Of course you’ve got a swole chest!”

“Pheew! Kushieda’s heartbroken! Pheew~!”

Ryuuji felt a twinge.

He was glad it wasn’t tears. It was just the taste of iron coming from his lips from biting too hard. Left out of the joke, he still couldn’t even look at Minori’s face. 

“Tch, let’s go, Taiga. Those guys really are giant idiots! They don’t know that this haircut cost four thousand five hundred yen!”

Minori put her arm over Taiga’s shoulder and turned her around. Taiga nodded as she looked up at Minori, clinging to Minori’s waist like a koala. “This is how you steal a million!” she said over her shoulder. 

Maybe because it was the new semester, or because of Okinawa, or both, but on that day, the boys (Ryuuji excluded) were reckless and in high spirits.

“Right, right, you could have Tiger as a plant, too! Kitamura, have her on the radio with you!”

“Hee hee hee, you’re right! Nice idea! Now, jump into my chest, Tiger~!”

Haruta pulled open Kitamura’s school jacket from behind. It wasn’t like there was anything to see but a long-sleeved shirt…

“Don’t go, Taiga! That’s a trap Kitamura’s made!” With both her hands, Minori was covering Taiga’s eyes firmly.

“Ow! Minorin, that hurts!”

“You mustn’t look. I’ve gotten tricked by that trap once! You think it’s not a big deal, and then while you’re looking at it, something black and unthinkable appears!”

Ha ha ha. Kitamura laughed with abandon with his jacket still open. “Hey, hey, that just sounds bad. When exactly did I show you some black thing?”

“In the summer! At Ahmin’s villa!”

Did that really happen? Kitamura tilted his head lightly. 

“Oh my! Oh dear!” Haruta, who had been holding open Kitamura’s jacket, had found something on his long-sleeved shirt. He brought his face closer and strained his eyes.

“Wait, wait a sec! You idiot master Kitamura! You’ve got food all over yourself right here. How embarrassing~! Hey, Taka-chan, what kind of stains do you think these are~?”

“What did you say?!” Ryuuji reflexively stood up on hearing the word “stain.”

“Here and here,” Haruta pointed them out. He really did see the shadow of two circles on Kitamura’s chest. He observed them meticulously. Was it sauce or soy sauce? They were in the same position his nipples would be, and the longer he looked at them, the more they really did look like nipples—

“Those are just his nipples!”

Ryuuji choked. How dirty. He wanted to pull out his eyeballs, which had so diligently looked at those things, and wash them out with palm detergent. In a fluster, Kitamura pulled together the front of his jacket. His cheeks were red.

“Oh no! I forgot to wear a T-shirt underneath!”

“I’m out!” Minori arched her body backward, arms crossed in front of her. 

Quickly slipping over next to Taiga, Noto poked her in the elbow. Out of all things he could have uttered, he said, “Hey! This is so lucky, Tiger! So lucky!”

“What is??”

Even someone who wasn’t Taiga would want to say that. Then, even Haruta immediately came to stand on his knees beside Taiga and suddenly opened the guidebook to show it to her.

“Tiger, read this part!”

“Huh?! H-hentai!”

“Hyaah! Bwa ha ha~! What? Did you hear that just now~?! I thought that might be how she’d read it~!”

Haruta still had the “Must Know Okinawan Words!” feature open to the “Haitai!” section. He probably had a death wish. At that moment, blood spurted up from Taiga’s eyes—no, not really. Ryuuji just felt bloodthirsty intent emanating from her.

Taiga grabbed Noto’s thumb with her right hand and Haruta’s with her left, and then lowered her hips. “HYAH!” she yelled. As if through some kind of sorcery, she sent Noto and Haruta somersaulting up into the air past each other. They hit the floor on their backs and couldn’t move. They were probably dead. 

Then, Taiga raised her face and said a single word, incredibly loudly. “Haitai!”

Minori grinned. “You’ve done it!” 

Kitamura was still shyly holding his chest.

Unable to follow the series of skits being enacted before him, Ryuuji could only stand there, dumbfounded. Without thinking, he lifted his eyes and looked at Minori, who was standing next to him.

It took him by surprise.

He felt like he had been happy-go-luckily crossing a wooden bridge, only to suddenly glimpse a muddy stream under his feet between the slats. Something Ryuuji didn’t need to think about came to his mind.

It was good that everyone was having fun. It was just, how could Minori act like everything was normal the way she was doing right now? How could she be bright and unchanged from usual when he—the person she had just rejected—was right in front of her eyes?

Was it that, to Minori, that event—that event that had happened not even two weeks ago—was something she could easily forget? Nothing more than a trifling accident?

“…”

His breath caught.

Maybe noticing Ryuuji’s gaze, Minori also lifted her head. Their gazes collided, but immediately, Minori’s usual smile formed on her face. “What’s up with you?” she whispered in a slightly jokey tone.

It seemed she’d already forgotten that Ryuuji had ignored her—she had forgotten Ryuuji’s low and scummy behavior.

That was his limit. Ryuuji pried his eyes off of her, then turned his back to Minori and started running away. He went by himself at a high speed away from his circle of friends. In a situation like this, it seemed that the too-sensitive, awkward, rejected boy could only go hide in the bathroom.

“Oh, this is perfect timing! Takasu-kun, do you remember me?!”

When he headed toward the door, he noticed a boy he didn’t recall peeking into the classroom from the hallway and waving at him.

“Look, I was the guy wearing the bear kigurumi at the Christmas Eve student council party, and—”

“Oh, right, when that happened…”

He remembered. On Christmas Eve, Ryuuji had made a proposition to some guy in a bear outfit, to the effect of “Would you trade clothes with me?!” They had traded his suit for the bear. So much had happened afterward that he completely pushed it from his memory. Ryuuji bowed his head in a fluster.

“Sorry, I completely forgot. Thanks for coming all the way over here.”

“No, whenever is fine with me. I just got mine from a party store. More importantly, this suit looked super expensive, so my mom told me to hurry up and give it back.”

“Oh, you even got it dry cleaned… Thank you so much, really, I’m really sorry.”

Ryuuji received the suit, which was still in the plastic bag from the cleaners, and once again bowed his head. Oh no, oh no. He still needed to get the bear suit over to the cleaners and properly repay him.

“More importantly, here’s this. It was in the pocket, but you didn’t get in any trouble because of that, did you? I looked around for you, but I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“Oh…”

The guy handed the small, wrapped box apologetically to Ryuuji, and a current ran through Ryuuji’s hand. This was the Christmas present he had planned to give Minori while confessing to her.

Ryuuji took it and replied, “No, it’s fine. This is… I just didn’t need it on that day.”

He shook his head back and forth and, in his mind, added, Really.

Really, I didn’t need this. Even if he’d had it, he probably wouldn’t have been able to give it to her, anyway.

“I see. Oh, that’s a relief! Actually, I was a little scared of ­coming here. I was like, what’ll I do if Takasu-kun is actually a delinquent? Murase and the others said that you’re ‘Really a normal and good guy, so it’s okay.’ So it’s true.”

Ryuuji looked down. It was true he wasn’t a delinquent, but he didn’t know whether he was really a good guy anymore. Was a guy who ignored the person who rejected him actually good? He was definitely a petty guy, at the very least.

He asked the boy’s name one last time, promised that he would return the bear outfit, and watched as the seemingly agreeable person, who appeared to be friends with Murase from the student council, left. 

The contents of the present left behind in his hand was a hairpin that he picked out two weeks ago. It had been at a random goods store. The girl at the shop had looked terrified by him as he hemmed and hawed and persevered to pick it out.

He thought that a one-thousand-yen hairpin might be a little too dull, but he didn’t want to get her a weirdly grand gift when they weren’t even dating. He also remembered that Minori had been tying up her bangs, which got in her way while they were taking their tests. He thought a pen case or pouch might do, but rather than something practical, he felt like giving her something that glittered and would be pretty. Even if it was cheap, it was fitting for Christmas night, and he wanted to get her something beautiful.

I’ll throw it away.

That’s what he thought. I’ll throw this away immediately.

It was almost a subconscious instinct, but he didn’t want to put this thing, which was connected to the difficult memory of that night, in his own pocket.

He tried to throw it into a trash bin without thinking, but his hands stopped. He clicked his tongue and roughly pulled off the unnecessary Christmas tree-print wrapping paper. Was he really separating the trash at a time like this…? He was; he couldn’t help it. He opened the box and pulled out the properly wrapped hairpin. He crumpled the ribbon on the packaging he no longer needed and threw it into the burnables section of the trash. It was unnecessary wrapping and annoying.

Ryuuji grabbed the incombustible hairpin. He looked at it with his sanpaku eyes without reservation. It was large and silver, with a wavy pattern. It had transparent, gold, and orange glittering glass beads in a pattern that made them look like splashing bubbles.

He thought that it looked like something that suited Minori. Among the hairpins of many colors and many different shapes, this one suited her the best. He thought that she could wear it during class, at softball club, and when she was working. When she would put it on, she could remember him. Whenever he saw her wearing it, he would feel like his feelings had gotten through to her.

But he hadn’t given it to her. He didn’t need it anymore. 

“Save me, Taka-chan~! Look at this! Tiger bit me! Here’s the proof! Look at those bite marks!”

“It’s because you keep saying haitai haitai haitai and won’t stop! What’s with you, you long haired bug?! I’ll exterminate you! We’ve got to get rid of you for the sake of the planet!”

Haruta, mid-squabble with Taiga, ran into Ryuuji’s back like a tattling kid. Taiga, who was following, also came over. The two of them noticed the hairpin in Ryuuji’s hand at the same time, but Haruta was first to respond.

“Huh? What’s that thing? What are you doing with it?”

Taiga groaned a little. Ah. He had told her he had bought Minori a hairpin. She glanced at the trash, saw the clearly Christmas-themed wrapping paper, and seemed to understand what it was. Taiga was generally oblivious, but at times like these, she could be tactful.

“This is, well, what can I say…? I don’t need it…”

“Huh, you don’t need it?! Then give it to me! Look, I kind of feel like my bangs are getting in the way!”

Haruta, who had no clue about anything, took the hairpin, put it on his bangs, and posed. “How’s it look?!” 

This had gone quite differently than Ryuuji imagined. He stared in melancholy at his friend, who looked so bad with the hairpin that it made him nauseated.

“G-give it back!”

“Ow ow ow?! Wait, what, why?!”

“It doesn’t matter, just give it back! Give it back! Give it back! Give it back! Give it baaack!”

Jumping onto Haruta’s back, Taiga climbed the tall idiot like a tree and tried to extract the hairpin from his long hair. “Gyaa~!” Haruta shrieked. 

“That’s—still—Ryuuji’s! Just hurry up and give it back—”

The door opened and the homeroom teacher appeared, carrying the attendance record in one hand. Several hairs from Haruta’s head were sacrificed, pulled right out along with the hairpin.

“It burned down!”

Huh? The students of class 2-C could only look uneasily at Koigakubo Yuri, the bachelorette (age 30) standing at the teacher’s platform. 

The bachelorette (age 30) said “Thank you! Thank you!” as she took the permission slips that Kitamura had gathered, stacked them together, quickly put them into an envelope, and sandwiched it under her arm with the attendance sheet. Then she looked around at the students’ faces with an unspeakably iffy smile. 

“It burned down. It’s unfortunate. Um, but, we won’t cancel it. So, well, um, it’s fine. It is. It’ll go on as planned. Okay?”

“Teach…we don’t get what you’re saying at all. Please be clearer.”

At Kitamura’s completely reasonable words, the bachelorette (age 30) seemed to have given up on deceiving them.

“It’s the hotel!”

As though fortifying herself, she raised her voice in a teacher-like way.

“It’s the hotel that we should have stayed at for the trip in Okinawa! It burned down during an end-of-the-year fire! There are no longer any hotels that can accommodate all one hundred and sixty-eight second years in Okinawa! So, we can’t go to Okinawa anymore! But, the trip isn’t canceled! We’ll just have a slightly compact two-night three-day mountain ski trip instead! Isn’t that great?!”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!

At almost exactly the same time, they heard a terrible scream, similar to a shriek, from the classroom next door. GAAAAAH! GYAAAAH! They heard unknowable despair from a class, somewhere, that made even the ceiling shake and quiver.

“No waaaay?! Seriously?”

“This is the worst! It’s so so so terrible!”

“WAAAAAAAAAH! It would have been my first time on a plane and my first time in Okinawaaaaaaa!”

“Why are we going to a mountain in the middle of winter?! Are you trying to make us upset?!”

“Skiing is fun, too,” the bachelorette (age 30) followed up. “A ski slope with powdered snow floating around! A silvery-white snow scene! Two people drawing a heart with their ski tracks! And then everyone going ‘yahoo!’”

“I don’t want that! It’s too dull! This is our once-in-a-lifetime trip!”

“This isn’t a joke! I’m definitely going to Okinawa! I don’t care when it happens, please make it Okinawa!”

“That’s right! I don’t want to go to a mountain in the winter! Let’s all boycott it!”

At that radical opinion, the class started applauding in agreement. However, the bachelorette (age 30) glanced at the envelope under her arm.

“But we’ve already received your permission slips…so we’re going ahead as planned…”

The students started screaming in agony.

Haruta, who had been so excited he bought a guidebook, began to weep. Kitamura must have wanted to go to Okinawa, too, because he grew agitated at their homeroom teacher. “I decisively object! This is nonsense!” 

The girls attacked with foul mouths. “Screw off!” 

“This is unreasonable!” 

“Old maid!” 

“Thirty year old!” 

Even Taiga, the little lady who could probably go to Okinawa whenever she wanted, hit her desk over and over in protest.

With severe resistance raining down on her whole body, the pitiful bachelorette (age 30) had a troubled look on her face. “It’s not like I burned down the hotel in Okinawa.”

That was probably true.

Among the people in uproar, Ryuuji, alone, had become the inhabitant of another world. His two lizard-like eyes opened wide. It wasn’t the bachelorette (age 30) who had burned down the hotel.

If anything, it was him.

As he had come to school, his curse, “Burn and disappear!” had traveled through the air as sparks to the Okinawan hotel, just as his words had intended. 

Ryuuji apologized in his heart to his classmates, who spilled tears and continued to protest. In that moment, he felt like the shrieking cries of a snowstorm on a winter mountain were more appropriate for him than Okinawa’s blinding sunlight. The curse had been successful and, though unfortunate, Ryuuji was actually really relieved. He absolutely did not want to go to a blue ocean and blue sky. He wasn’t in the frame of mind to smile brightly in the sun.

The shadowy overcast sky. The continually falling snow. The soaking-damp underwear. The incredibly smelly rental skiwear. The bears. The avalanches. The locked-room murders. That was good. 

Unbeknownst to anyone, the cursed ship blew its shrill whistle. The ghostly crew sneakily chuckled to themselves. Ryuuji was fine with that. Actually, he didn’t even care about the school trip. He didn’t care whether they were confined on the cold winter mountain or ended up playing tag in a maze of sewer pipes, or journeyed to the land of the dead. A once-in-a-lifetime school trip? Why would he care about something like that?

“Damn it! Why is Ami-chan late on today of all days?!”

“Ami-chan wouldn’t stay silent about something like this!”

“Ami-chan would have done something!”

Come to think of it, the black-hearted model hadn’t shown herself. The guys started baying, “Ami-chaaan! Ami-chaaan!” into the void. 

However, the bachelorette (age 30) simply said, “Kawashima-san is in Hawaii for work. Her plane home didn’t make it on time, so she’s taking today off. But look, she’s already gone to a tropical island, so wouldn’t she prefer a winter mountain?! Hee hee!”

“Of course not!”

The bachelorette (age 30) gave up any further resistance to the uncontrollable state of affairs. She turned her back to the students and headed toward the blackboard. There, she wrote distinctly: “Life doesn’t go the way you want it!!”

***

“Oh!”

Without thinking, Ryuuji let out a loud exclamation. Really? he thought. She’s already back? 

He had gone out grocery shopping for dinner as the sky began darkening into dusk. The midwinter wind was sharp as a knife, and the people coming and going along the street were quickly hurrying home.

Ryuuji had caught sight of a certain incredibly attention-gathering form while he was peeking into a bookstore before going to the supermarket. The tall person he was looking at from over the bookshelves was definitely Kawashima Ami.

She stood among the people lined up in front of the racks of women’s magazines. Though she was tall, her face was delicate. Her pale profile, adorned with giant sunglasses that glittered with an Armani logo, traced a beautiful line from her nose to her chin. She’d messily tied up her silky, shiny straight hair, exposing her neck. She was wearing a down jacket that was probably expensive enough to make Ryuuji want to die. She wore old-looking jeans, stuffed into her boots, and though she wasn’t wearing heels, her legs were still terrifyingly long. With her Chanel bag, she seemed to give off an oppressive aura that shouted, “There’s a beauty here! I’m a model!”

Ami-chan-sama, whom he hadn’t seen in so long, looked just as she always did. 

When they had last parted, during the Christmas Eve party, it had been pretty awkward. It was as though Ami had gotten fed up with Ryuuji’s foolishness and gone home alone. He hadn’t noticed Taiga had left, and he had believed like a kid that the world would conveniently align itself… He really had been pretty foolish that day. There had been too much going on for him to call out to Ami as she left. It was only natural that she’d be fed up with him.

Ami definitely predicted the situation he was currently in, even though he had thought she was just saying stuff that made her seem like she knew more than she did. Ami might have known what kind of outcome Ryuuji’s foolishness would invite. Her words were always painful, but that was probably because they were the pointed truth.

“…”

Surprised, he lowered his head into the cooking book he was skimming where he stood.

Ami was approaching him from the women’s magazine corner. She was listening to music on an iPod and seemed not to have noticed Ryuuji’s presence at all.

Ryuuji froze up, unable to awkwardly raise his head and say something at that point. Quite unexpectedly, Ami advanced closer and closer into the cooking book corner and reached out a hand to grab a magazine right in front of Ryuuji’s eyes. Staple Hot Meals: Brown Rice Bento was apparently her goal.

“Sorr…oh.”

Ryuuji blinked.

The moment she pulled out the magazine, Ami’s Chanel bag hit Ryuuji’s hand. Ryuuji dropped the magazine, and Ami finally noticed him as she apologized. He couldn’t see her expression hidden behind her glasses, but she seemed about to say “Oh” as her mouth formed a pout.

“Don’t bother with that. The Staple Hot Meals series is completely unusable.” Ryuuji’s voice grumbled from the awkwardness, but he still tried to speak as normally as he could.

“Tch!” Ami acknowledged Ryuuji’s existence by clicking her tongue. She placed the magazine she had pulled out back on the shelf, contorting her mouth provokingly.

I feel something vividly evil! 

The moment Ami tried to turn on her heel, her bag caught on the boring cell-phone keychain that protruded from Ryuuji’s down jacket. Ami turned around, shook her bag vigorously in order to get it back, and held it to her chest with exaggerated movements.

“What do you think you’re trying to do to my Chanel bag?!”

“What are you trying to do to me?!”

At the terrifying look Ami gave him through her sunglasses, Ryuuji accidentally showed his demonic face, which would have caused a shudder of fear in anyone. The sudden argument that had started between the beautiful model and murder-faced boy got them looks from everyone around. However, Ami didn’t mind that at all.

“Ugh, you’re so annoying! Actually, why are you even here? Disappear for me, would you?”

She was really unbelievably rude. Whaaat?! Ryuuji’s face contorted even further.

“What did you say?! Actually, what’s up with your attitude?! I-I was just—”

I got rejected by Minori on Christmas Eve! He couldn’t say that, of course…

“I was just hospitalized with the flu, you know! I had a fever of 40 degrees Celsius, and I wasn’t even conscious! I can’t believe your conscience would let you attack me with that attitude!”

“How should I have known?! Actually, you had a 40-degree fever? Then…”

Ami whipped off her sunglasses and nibbled on their end as wrinkles formed on her forehead. She narrowed her pretty, double-lidded eyes and stared at Ryuuji’s crotch. 

“…”

“Could you mind your own business?! My genes are still alive!”

Ryuuji crossed his legs and went on the defensive. As expected from childhood friends, Ami and Kitamura’s vulgar circuit of thoughts was surprisingly similar.

“Oh, really. Huh, good for you. Well, bye.”

Ami carelessly stuck her sunglasses into the back pocket of her jeans. With a smile on her lips that was easy to recognize as manufactured, she turned her back coldly on him.

There was a dark whirlpool whipping around in Ryuuji’s mind. What a girl… How could her unpleasantness even be described? She was irritating. He knew she had an ugly personality. He knew about her two-faced, twisted nature, too. Regardless, he was still shocked. The way she treated him was absurd. Why in the world did she have to take an attitude like that with him? Was it because she was fed up with him? Even if that was it, wasn’t this too much? 

“Hey, wait! Why did you take up that fighting stance all of a sudden?!”

“Oh, you want me to give it to you straight? Then I’ll tell you. I don’t like you anymore, Takasu-kun.”

“Wha…at?!”

She put it so simply that it couldn’t be misinterpreted. Ryuuji stood there, dumbfounded, in spite of himself. 

“Wh…why?!”

“Huh? Don’t follow me. You’re seriously so annoying.”

“Did you really…hate me that much…?”

“Ow! What do you think you’re doing? Don’t screw around with me!”

He was so shocked, he’d unintentionally reached out his arm, knocking the ecobag that contained his wallet and phone against Ami’s butt. Blocking the aisle of the bookstore, showered in stares, Ami pointed at Ryuuji and said, “You want me to spell it out for you?! I hate you because you’re an idiot!”

“Bwah! She said she hates him cause he’s stupid…ha ha ha!”

He heard merciless laughter, turned, and saw the owner of the voice. Ha ha ha! The person continuing to laugh at other people’s business was short, had her fluffy hair tied loosely to the side, wore a multicolor knit hat and a long, flower-patterned skirt, and had boots peeking from the hem of her white angora coat. In other words, it was Taiga.

“You’re so slow!” said Ami. “It’s already ten minutes past the time we were supposed to meet!”

“Don’t pick at the details. You’re a Dimhuahua—you can’t even tell the time.”

“I can so!”

Ryuuji was surprised by the conversation that was happening over his head. Was it possible that these natural born enemies, who had fought blood for blood for so long, in a rare moment in the history of the world, were friendly and meeting each other in a bookstore on the street?

“Here, this was 14 dollars. That makes it 40.”

“Uhh…so if one dollar is about one hundred yen…”

Ryuuji unintentionally sighed as he watched Taiga clumsily pull out and count one thousand yen bills from her cat wallet.

“At what point did you two get close enough to exchange gifts?”

“These aren’t gifts. I’m paying Dimhuahua back. I only have ten thousand yen bills! Give me change!”

“Whaat?! Aren’t you supposed to have this already prepared, considering you’re the one who asked me to buy this for you?” As she muttered, Ami also pulled out her Dior wallet and the two of them finished exchanging money. Then, Ami glanced at Ryuuji’s face.

“Tch…”

She scowled and clicked her tongue. The why-are-you-still-here aura exuded from her whole body. Ryuuji tried to prod the shins of Ami’s boots under the table with the tips of his shoes but accidentally kicked Taiga. 

“Ow! Was that you just now?!”

She glared at him, and he turned away. He tried to bury his expression, but he was immediately found out. 

“It was you!”

She returned the favor by stepping on his feet.

“Welcome to Sudoh-bucks!” the female college student’s ­welcoming voice rang out. If the actual store they were ripping off knew what was going on, the café would have been in dire straits. 

After meeting in the bookstore, the three of them had set up camp in the Pseudobucks, aka Sudoh Coffee Stand and Bar’s nonsmoking section, as usual. Jazz music streamed through the store. Taiga ordered a giant bowl of café au lait and pancakes, Ryuuji had the house blend, and Ami had a café latte. Sitting next to Taiga, Ryuuji couldn’t get himself to look at Ami, who was right in front of him and not hiding her obvious irritation (she hated him because he was stupid, after all).

“So what did you get Ami to buy you?” he said.

Even though he wasn’t really interested, he peeked into the paper bag Taiga had received. If it was 14 and 40 dollars, then it was within an acceptable price range, he thought gloomily.

“A pouch and sandals! They were in a magazine, and it said that they only had them in Hawaii! Hee hee, it’s this!” Taiga pulled out a waterproof pouch decorated with dancing hula girls and casual sandals made with natural materials.

“Oh, right… In the end, these things were wasted… Ahh, I was so looking forward to it though. Oh well, I guess I can use these normally once it’s summer.”

Lifting her face from her cup of café latte, Ami’s eyes went round with curiosity. “What? Why are they wasted? Aren’t you bringing them on the school trip to Okinawa? Why can’t you? They’re perfect for that. I even went and looked for the ones you specifically asked me for. Gosh, you’re just so—”

“Oh right, you don’t know yet, Dimhuahua. The school trip has turned into a two-night, three-day ski trip.”

“What?!” Ami’s café latte cup clattered against its saucer.

“The hotel burned down. So, we’re being locked up on this suuuuper cold winter mountain.”

“What?! Seriously?! Whaaaat~?! No way, you can’t be serious?! But I bought shorts and T-shirts and stuff for Okinawa! Actually, what do they mean we’re only staying two nights?! Isn’t that short?! And they’re making us ski, too?! I hate this so much!”

“Sorry…”

“Why are you apologizing, Takasu-kun?”

“Why are you saying sorry?”

Unable to reply to the two of them, Ryuuji sipped his coffee with distant eyes. On top of already being hated just because, if he said, “It burned down because I cursed it,” he didn’t know how they would look at him. 

Ami put up her hands. Currently in a situation where she didn’t need to put on her goody-two-shoes mask, she contorted her mouth and spat poison.

“Ughh, I said not to screw around with me… Actually, this is the pits! Why have we got to ski on a school trip? I just don’t get it at all. It’s seriously so so so irritating! Ahh, maybe I can skip if I say I have work!”

“If you want to skip it you can, but I have one thing to say to you about the trip.” Taiga slowly thrust her body over the table, sounding serious. “Oh!” The end of the ribbon on the chest of her dress dipped into her café au lait, and a flustered Ryuuji hurried to rescue it.

“It’s so important that I went out of my way to ask you to meet me outside of school. Ryuuji was here by coincidence, but this is really convenient, so it’s good.”

Taiga glanced at Ryuuji. Not knowing what she meant, Ryuuji was taking emergency measures to rub coffee off Taiga’s ribbon. He pushed the café au lait bowl far off, so she wouldn’t make the same mistake, and didn’t notice Ami looking at him with exasperation in her eyes.

Taiga narrowed her eyes slightly, however. She turned to Ami and declared, “We lost Okinawa, but a school trip is a school trip. It’ll last in your memories, and it’s not much different from a big event. Because of that, Dimhuahua, I’ll tell you this straight. If you come, please make sure you definitely don’t hang around Ryuuji.”

“Huh? Are you trying to say I’m the one who’s hanging around him and causing problems?”

Lovingly clutching her Chanel bag to her chest, Ami glared at Ryuuji with hatred. But wait a second, he wanted to say. It wasn’t as though Ryuuji had asked Taiga to say that, so even if she glared at him like that, he didn’t know what the intent behind Taiga’s remark was. Ryuuji sipped at his coffee to calm himself.

“Ryuuji likes Minorin.”

“Bweeeeh!”

“Ew, Ryuuji, that’s gross.”

Cough! Sputter! Ryuuji held a napkin up to his choking mouth. What are you saying?! He looked up at Taiga with tears in his eyes.

“Huuh…”

Across from him, looking at him like a devilish snake that had spotted prey would, Ami’s pretty face raised itself up dramatically. Her lips, glittering with gloss, contorted. For the first time that day and that year, her eyes sparkled with glee as she surveyed the state of affairs. 

Ryuuji’s face turned red as he choked. He looked exactly like a terrifying hungry ghost from hell as he looked back at Ami.

“And Minorin also likes Ryuuji.”

“Hmmm…”

“What?! Wait…wait a second! Is that what you think?!”

“Just keep quiet. I know she definitely does… I just know. But there’s a lot of things going on, so they’re having a hard time getting together. I won’t let anyone get in the way anymore. Even you, Dimhuahua. That’s what I’ve decided.”

Taiga had had her say. 

Ami looked at Taiga’s face, scooped up the foam of her café au lait with her teaspoon, and licked it with the tip of her tongue. For just a moment, she checked Ryuuji’s expression with a glance.

“I see. Well, I’ve heard what you’ve had to say, but…why are you coming to me with this now? Why are you suddenly saying this?”

“Ryuuji got rejected by Minorin on Christmas Eve!”

Nooooo! His mouth formed a noiseless scream and he writhed in agony, but there was no one to notice.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah! He got rejected!”

Ami blinked. A couple at the table next to them turned to look at them. Even the owner of the café, Sudoh-san, had popped his head over the counter. Rejected?! Who?! That kid with the scary face?! That delinquent kid?! How sad! As he heard the overlapping, inconsiderate whispers, Ryuuji’s heart was stabbed at from all sides.

He wanted to drown himself in the sea that was his house blend coffee. Ryuuji covered his head and leaned down on the table but then used the last of his strength to raise his face.

“What actually happened was that Kushieda rejected me by telling me not to confess on Christmas Eve before I could even confess!”

It was certainly true that he had been rejected by Minori, but why did Taiga have to go spreading that around? If he could, he would have pretended as though it had never happened. What was he going to do now that she had shared the memory with others? And why Kawashima Ami, out of all people?

“Huuuh. I see…”

At Ami’s sweetly nasal voice, which was filled with poison, Ryuuji raised his head. She was probably going to say something terrible to him, the guy she hated for being stupid. She could say whatever she wanted. He was already riddled with wounds. Even if he got one or two more cuts, it wouldn’t change anything.

However, at that moment, Ami’s gaze shifted away from Ryuuji’s face. Her mouth contorted into a line, as if she’d tried to smile but failed at it. She hid her expression with her café latte cup, and in a tone of voice like she was talking to herself, muttered, “So you’ve already been deeply hurt…”

Then, for some reason, her gaze went to Taiga instead of Ryuuji. 

Taiga, who was holding her café au lait bowl with both hands, noticed her gaze and raised her eyes.

“The school trip is the last event for Ryuuji and Minorin to become honest with each other—I think it’s a special opportunity. So, I don’t want anyone to get in the way. Do you get that? Do you?”

Suddenly, she looked at Ryuuji.

“It would have been a lot better if it had been Okinawa, but we don’t have time to talk about luxuries. ‘Life doesn’t go the way you want it,’ after all. So I don’t care whether it’s a ski resort or a gloomy mountain. I want to see what Minorin’s real feelings are. It’s our best and last chance. It’s our last chance because we’re choosing different classes. Ryuuji’s taking the science course, right?”

“Yeah… That’s what I’m hoping.”

“Minori is going into the humanities. We’ll be in different classes, and you’ll be separated within the year. If you’re rejected even when you’re in the same class, what’ll happen when you’re in different classes? This school trip really is the last chance! You got that?”

She stared up at him, and Ryuuji gulped a little. The following year, they’d be in different classes—another reality that he couldn’t change. His heart was easily moved by the thought of his adolescence being broken up.

I got to be in the same class as Kushieda-san! So much time already passed since that spring, when he had been so delighted. This was a crucial moment: he could just abandon the race or keep running even though he was behind by a lap.

“So, Dimhuahua! You’re okay with that?! I want you to stop teasing Ryuuji and clinging all over him!”

“Oh really? Did I ever cling all over Takasu-kun? I don’t remember?”

“Ever since you appeared in our world, you’ve been clinging to Ryuuji, and it’s depressing!”

“Was I? Well, I don’t really care either way.”

As though teasing Taiga, Ami put on her goody-two-shoes smile. Then she suddenly muttered in a low voice, “If that’s actually what you want.”

She put on her sunglasses to hide her eyes as she said that. It seemed Taiga hadn’t completely heard what she said. Still expressionless, she finished up the last of her pancake in one bite.

Ami, however, didn’t say it again. She slowly finished ­drinking her water, looked at the time, and stretched. Then she checked her cell phone before putting on her down coat and Chanel bag.

“Ahh, this smells of stupid. That was such a useless conversation. I’m not interested in your cheap love lives, so please do whatever you want. Well, I’m going home soon. I’m still feeling out of it from the jet lag. Are you guys staying?”

“No, I’m going. It’s almost six, so Ryuuji needs to make dinner, right?”

It was exactly as Taiga said. The breadwinner of the house, who needed dinner by seven no matter how much mental damage he had taken, was waiting for him. Ryuuji also slowly got up and handed the coffee money over to Taiga, who held some bills. Taiga also received change from Ami and went to pay the check by herself.

Ami went around the table, and Ryuuji tried to follow after her.

“Whoa?!”

Suddenly, Ami grabbed his collar. Although she was a girl, her power was tyrannical, and he reflexively tried to shake her off.

“It would have been better if you were the only one who really got hurt,” she said.

“What?! What are you talking about?!”

Behind her sunglasses, Ami opened her eyes wider than he had ever seen her do before. He realized she was glaring at him.

“You’re an idiot, so you wouldn’t get it anyway.”

Her lips were contorted as though she were smiling, but she was probably incredibly annoyed.

“I really do hate you.”

“…”

He stumbled as she pushed him away. Ami turned on her heel, and she simply said, “I’m out first.” With an elegant catwalk, she left the café.

If you were the only one who really got hurt.

Ami seemed exactly like she had on the night of the party. She’d gotten angry and left him in the same way.

The origin of her irritation was probably what she’d said back when they were preparing for the party. Ami had teased him for having a father-daughter-like relationship with Taiga. Minori was playing at being the mom, she’d said. She’d said they should stop doing that if they didn’t want to get really hurt…but she’d also said to forget she ever said anything.

He couldn’t forget it though—and right now, he really had been incredibly hurt after Minori rejected him. Did that really happen because he and Taiga pulled Minori into a pseudo-family situation, just as Ami said?

If it wasn’t just him, then who else was hurt?

“You always leave out something!”

If she was going to insult him for being an idiot, then why couldn’t she have explained it in a way an idiot like him could understand? Ryuuji muttered to himself. If she really was more grown up than everyone else, and knew what was going on around her better than anyone, then she should have told him what was going on, too. She just understood for herself, got angry for herself, and left him in the dust. It was selfish.

That’s how you always are.

“Did Dimhuahua go home? What’s wrong with you? It’s like you’ve been shot in your Achilles heel and murdered,” said Taiga, who had finished paying the check and was looking questioningly up at Ryuuji. He was standing stock-still. His face was frozen.

***

They left Pseudobucks. When they started walking, the sky was completely dark. The night was cold, and the northern wind nearly made them stop breathing.

“You haven’t gone shopping yet, right? Shouldn’t you hurry up?”

“What about you?”

“I’m headed to the station. They made a new bento box place near the ticket gates.”

They separated on the shopping street. Along the national highway, the T-shaped, desolate road stank of car exhaust. The road was closed off to pedestrians at that point. 

“It’s cold!” Taiga said, scowling under the streetlights. 

The light from the bridge that went over the river could be seen straight ahead, but it was still a ways off. To the left of the T intersection was the station, and to the right was the supermarket. Basically, he would be separating from Taiga there until they met at school the next day. They wouldn’t have a chance to talk between now and then. Though he was a little hesitant, there was something Ryuuji thought he needed to tell her.

“So when you were talking about the opportunity to check what Minori’s real feelings are, what you meant was the school trip.”

“That’s right. You completely forgot about it, didn’t you?”

“I did. Putting aside whether Ami clings to me or not…I didn’t think that you thought about things that much. So, thanks for that. But I think you’ve gone out of your way to say some stuff you didn’t need to. You didn’t really have to tell her that.”

Taiga buttoned the front of her coat and shook her head.

“It’s better just to tell it to Dimhuahua straight. And I feel like I’m to blame for this. I said so already, right? That night, I forced things. I think the results would definitely have been different otherwise.”

Her mouth contorted slightly as she slowly looked up to the heavens, as though she were searching for stars in the pale night sky.

“About Christmas Eve, what do you think Minorin said to me?”

It was as though she were saying it to herself. Taiga turned her gaze to Ryuuji.

“She said, ‘There wasn’t anything anyway.’ She said that you were just trying to cheer her up while she was down and that you were kind, and there wasn’t anything else to it. That’s what she said. She kept saying it was nothing, it was nothing, it was nothing. And then she smiled, that girl.”

“Maybe she really didn’t think there was anything there?”

“You idiot.”

Under the streetlight, Taiga stopped looking for the stars and turned her face to Ryuuji. With her delicate fingers, she held back her hair, which was floating in the wind, and told him, “You and Minorin really do have reciprocated feelings. It really should work out. Like actually.”

Seeing Taiga’s resolute and complete self-confidence as she asserted that, Ryuuji finally wanted to ask her. Right then, it was kind of like he was in a frame of mind where he couldn’t just let her words go.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you…where did you get the idea that Minori likes me? You can’t say you just know from looking.”

“You want to know?”

Taiga tilted her head under the streetlight. She smiled a little, as though she were a magician introducing a trick or like a witch actually showing him real magic. Full of confidence, she opened her arms up to Ryuuji and looked grandly at him.

“Then, you have to make a promise. You can’t say anything stupid like ‘Huh?’ or ‘There’s no way’ or ‘That’s unbelievable.’ If you vow that, I’ll tell you.”

“I won’t say that stuff. I won’t. I vow it.”

He raised one hand and took an oath. Ryuuji waited for Taiga’s magic. Taiga nodded haughtily.

“Then I’ll tell you. The reason I believe in that is in me.”

That’s what she said.

That was it.

Disappointed, Ryuuji was about to ask her, Huh? Then he remembered the oath and shut his mouth.

“Basically, I believe in you. I think that you’re the right person for Minorin to love. Your only motive is to love her.”

Taiga smiled as though making it all out to be a joke. Then she simply turned on her heel.

“Bye! See you tomorrow!”

She started running down the street towards the station, all on her own. In the middle, she turned around, as though remembering something. She made a grimace and raised her voice. 

“Come to think of it, your attitude today was the worst! What was with that?! Tomorrow, you can’t run away! You don’t actually want to run, right?!”

Taiga didn’t wait for Ryuuji’s reply but once again turned her back to him. This time, she didn’t look back as she ran. Her back was small, like a child’s, and he immediately lost sight of her.

Left behind, Ryuuji held his chest. His heart was thumping. It really did seem like magic. That was what his heart told him.

His heart, which had suffered so much, regained its warm pulse just from what Taiga had said. If Taiga said that—if she said that she would believe in him—then he would believe all he needed was for Taiga to believe.

With that small act of magic, his courage returned, and Ryuuji also started walking the night alone. That was when a thought occurred to him.

If Ami had seen him thinking so simply, she definitely would have fixed him with her freezing gaze and said, “You really don’t understand anything.” 

What a terrible thought.