Too Many Losing Heroines! - Volume 4 - Chapter 3.2

It’s finally after school. I’m standing in the corridor outside the student council room. I slapped my cheeks to cheer myself up.

“Alright, here I go.”

I can do it. It’s just asking Shikiya-san out for a Christmas Eve date.

A Christmas Eve…date…

How about I just text her on Line? But I can’t do anything before she answers. If she ignores it, the opportunity for the next step will be-

“...Sensei is so lonely.”

Suddenly, a pair of hands covered my eyes from behind.

I shook off her hands and distanced myself immediately.

“Uwah, what are you doing, Konuki-sensei?”

“You didn’t even come to the nurse’s office, even though you promised me.”

“I’m really sorry. I’ve been swamped lately.”

I actually completely forgot about that, but I wasn’t lying. I’m really busy.

Konuki-sensei approached me. I backed down one step at a time.

“Throwing me away after I have no use anymore? Sensei doesn’t remember teaching you that.”

I don’t think she has taught me anything, right? But I should give a mellow reply here.

I kept a certain distance and showed sensei a standard business smile.

“Sensei, you’re our advisor. You can visit the club room whenever you want, you know?”

“But someone may get hurt in club activities after school, right? I’ll get scolded if I’m not in the nurse’s office.”

She seems unconvinced.

“Then, are you sure you don’t want to be in the nurse’s office right now?”

“I’m here for a pre-meeting for the teacher’s conference tomorrow. …Nukumizu-kun, why do you always avoid sensei when I get close to you?”

“It’s because sensei is getting close to me. We’ll chat with you next time, so please feel free to attend the meeting.”

That’s all I got. I wanted to get rid of her with a half-assed reply.

“Konuki-sensei, you’re here.”

A determined voice echoed throughout the corridor.

The voice owner is the student council president, Hibari Hokobaru. She approached Konuki-sensei. Her long hair swayed around.

“Isn’t this Hokobaru-san? What’s wrong?”

“I’ve brought the survey questionnaire you asked for. The statistics are here too.”

“Ara, thanks a lot. I’ll thank you properly the next time you come to the nurse’s office.”

“This is just my responsibility as part of the student council. Please don’t worry about it.”

Why do I feel like Prez is subtly avoiding Konuki-sensei?

With this opportunity, I planned to escape immediately. In the end, sensei quickly turned around and faced me.

“...Where are you going leaving sensei behind?”

“I have something important to do. Sensei, aren’t you supposed to attend the meeting as well?”

“It’s fine to be a little late. Let’s continue talking about love with sensei, hmm?”

When did we talk about love?

It’s kind of awkward. Then, Prez stood next to me.

“Sensei, I’m sorry. I have to talk to him about the Literature Club activities. Can I bring him away?”

I’ve never heard of that before.

I’m confused. As for Konuki-sensei, she scratched her head full of regret.

“Ara, …that’s a shame. Nukumizu-kun, don’t get too carried away, you know?”

Her advice is somewhat confusing. I nodded for the time being. After that, Prez put her hand on my shoulder.

“Nukumizu-kun, sensei allowed it. Let’s go.”

“Uh, well…”

Prez ignored my reaction and walked toward the new building.

After a while, she glanced behind her.

“That teacher is a headache. Even though she’s really considerate to her students, she goes overboard sometimes.”

Seeing Prez’s bitter smile, I realized she was helping me out.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to trouble Prez about my problem.”

“No sweat. This is just a president’s responsibility.”

Even so, why is this girl still hugging my shoulder? But she may think I’m annoyed by her if I say it…

“Uh, I want to talk to Shikiya-san.”

“Shikiya’s in the playground. She’s making a catalog of the equipment in the PE storage. I’ll bring you there, alright?”

Eh, I see. Is she following me all the way to the shoe shelves?

I don’t know if Prez noticed my little display of emotions, but her lips curled up.

“Also, I was serious when I said I wanted to talk to you. You’ve been hanging out with Shikiya tons lately. Aren’t you two close?”

“Uh, no, not really.”

I can’t say it. The reason I’m with her- is to take back a doujinshi with you in it.

I pondered about it. Prez looked at me and laughed.

“Don’t need to hide it anymore. I know all of it.”

“Eh? Prez knows already!?”

Seriously? This person can remain unfazed by a genderswap doujinshi with her name in it.

I’m surprised. Prez hugged my shoulders tightly in excitement.

“It’s not like I’m blind, you know? What I mean is, …young man, you have fallen in love, right?”

“No.”

Prez is blind.

“What’s there to be worried about? Being crazy in love is the specialty of teenagers, even if your love can’t come to fruition.”

She also just assumes that I’ll definitely be rejected.

It will be a pain if I deny it here, so I decided to keep my mouth shut. Then, Prez suddenly spoke up sternly.

“You also seem to know vice president Teiara-kun.”

“Ah, I guess.”

“She seems to be hiding something from me recently. Do you know anything?”

“What? Why are you asking me?”

“Hmm, what do you think?”

Prez spread her arms and quickly blocked me.

“Love is a human’s freedom as long as they don’t go off the path of morality. However, in other words, those who decide to deviate from it have no right to love. Don’t you agree?”

“Uh, …what does that mean?”

“There are a few rather quiet spots in this school. Someone saw Teiara-kun and a boy going into one of those places a while ago.”

That’s me.

I couldn’t hide the fact that my heart was pounding. Prez approached me.

“I think something is wrong with her lately. She’s always saying weird terms like ‘totoi’, ‘bottom’, and ‘ideal lover’ these days. She even glared at me with a tie she found in her hand once.” [TL: Totoi (尊い), use this word when moe (萌え) isn’t enough to express how cute someone is.]

I see. Teiara-san is already doomed.

“Uh, she has been consulting me recently.”

“I see. …Is it about love?”

“Uh, yes, close. So, please don’t ask any further.”

“I understand. Problems like this are better left unseen.”

Prez patted my shoulder like she understood everything. I don’t think she knows what’s going on.

“Hiba-nee, did you check up on the Orchestra Club? It’s almost time, you know?”

The savior who just appeared is Sakurai-kun, the treasurer of the student council.

“It’s Hiroto. Can’t you see I’m heading there?”

Prez smiled chicly. However, Sakurai-kun sighed in exhaustion.

“The Music Room is in the opposite direction. Here, quick.”

Sakurai-kun grabbed Prez’s hand. He nodded in gratitude at me and left.

I think he’s having a rough time too. If that’s the case, how about you help me take care of those Literature Club girls as well…?

I sped toward the shoe shelves as I thought about that.

*

This is the PE storage at the edge of the playground.

The door is opened. There’s no one around.

Metallic battling sounds can be heard from afar. I slowly approached the storage.

I’ve never been to this place since I got locked in with Yakshio in July.

…Also, I really didn’t look at her at that time. I just thought I might take a peek.

I peeked inside. A girl is standing with her back against me.

White hair. Her pale legs reach out of her short skirt. I’m getting cold from seeing this alone.

She must be Shikiya-san.

This is a great opportunity for me to talk to her without letting anyone see us. I made up my mind and entered the storage.

“Senpai, do you have a moment?”

My voice echoed at an unexpectedly loud volume within the cramped PE storage.

Shikiya-san remained stiff. She then suddenly turned her head around and looked at me. Scary.

“Nukumizu-kun, …what’s wrong…?”

She quickly closed her notebook. Her body wobbled as she approached me.

Do your best, Nukumizu. I’m already this far. I just need to be brave and say it.

“Uh, …I want to ask you whether you caught a cold after going back that day?”

Yes, I chickened out. What are you going to do?

I didn’t learn from my mistake. Shikiya-san nodded.

“No, …I’m fine. …Thank you…”

“Good.”

It’s good, but it’s also not good.”

I fiddled with my fingertips. Shikiya-san stared at me.

“You came…all the way here…to say that…?”

“No, it’s not like…”

Sigh, let’s just get this over with.

I took a step forward and looked into Shikiya-san’s white pupils.

“H-Hey! Are you busy tomorrow night?”

“Not…really?”

I took another step forward.

Shikiya-san’s body wobbled as if someone had pushed her.

“If you’re free, can you go to the station with me and watch the Christmas light show?”

Yes, I said it!

My whole body is enveloped in a sense of freedom. There seem to be cheers from behind, too.

I can’t blame them. I really did my best. A cheer or two is well-deserved-

“...Eh?”

I turned around while trembling. A group of people had already gathered at the storage entrance before I knew it.

What!? When did they get here?

I’m in a miserable state right now. During this time, Shikiya-san put her hands on my shoulders from behind.

“Yeah, …sure…”

After whispering next to my ears, Shikiya-san just wobbled as she stepped out of the PE storage.

As they lingered around the door, the sports club students immediately made a path.

Then, among the crowd, I saw the only girl wearing a uniform- Yakishio.

*

Aichidaigaku-Mae is the closest station to the location.

I got on the train sliding into the platform, and sat in an empty seat.

…A Christmas Eve date. I didn’t expect this to work.

Honestly, my goal is just to bring her out. So, in reality, this isn’t a date.

However, Shikiya-san doesn’t know about that. That’s why-

A girl with short hair jumped on the train when the door was about to close. It’s Yakishio.

Back then, when Shikiya-san had just left the PE storage-

Yakishio and I looked at each other quietly. Her friends then brought her away.

Even though I didn’t do anything, it feels…very awkward.

Yakishio sat right next to me. She seems to know that I’m on this train beforehand.

There’s an empty seat between us.

“Yakishio, are you done with your make-up classes?”

“Yeah, I can be in club activities again starting tomorrow. That’s why I dropped by the Track and Field Club to say hi just then.”

That’s why you’re wearing your uniform.

The conversation paused for a moment. Yakishio suddenly showed a playful look.

“Hey, I didn’t even know about this before. Nukkun, so that’s what has been going on-”

“Eh, what are you talking about?”

Yakishio reached her hand out and smacked my shoulder. It hurts.

“I’m talking about you and Shikiya-senpai. We aren’t strangers, right? I would’ve helped you if you had told me earlier.”

Ah, she did misunderstand.

“No, it’s not what you think. I asked senpai out, but it’s not a date.”

“Spending Christmas Eve together is a date! Even though Shikiya-senpai is a bit scary, she’s indeed a beautiful girl. Make sure you take her down tomorrow!”

“Sorry, I haven’t told Yakshio yet, right? Tamaki-senpai and I had a discussion. I’m responsible for calling Shikiya-senpai out.”

“You and Ex-Prez?”

I told her everything about our plan. Yakishio nodded in admiration.

“...I see. The goal is for that person to mend her relationship with Tsukinoki-senpai, right?”

“I don’t know whether they can do it. However, those two used to be close. That’s why I want them to have a proper chat, at least.”

“Ha- I see. I had no idea at all.”

Yakishio looked toward the sky. She seems a little lonely. She repeated.

“-I had no idea at all.”

Yakishio is excluded from this. Even though I didn’t do it on purpose, I’m a little worried about her.

Yakishio is the ace of the Track and Field Club. At the same part, she’s part of the Literature Club.

However, that’s just Yakishio’s identity. It doesn’t represent her own feelings.

I should’ve noticed it in the beginning.

“...Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Instead, she gave me a sad smile.

“Look, it’s because I think you’re busy with make-up classes. The Track and Field Club is tough on you as well, right?”

“Hmm, indeed, you’re right. There’s a lot in the Track and Field Club.”

Yakishio sighed slowly. An indescribable smile appeared on her face.

“...Did something bad happen?”

“Not really. But the advising teacher and captain have a lot of expectations for me.”

“Right, you got a medal at the prefectural competition, right?”

“Yeah, 3rd place in the 100-meter race. I’m the fastest in the Track and Field Club. I guess that includes every distance.”

“This is already incredibly strong for a first-year student, right? It’s normal for the people you know to have expectations of you.”

“But I’m not good enough for the national races yet. I know I still need to work hard even if I can go.”

Her body tilted toward me slightly as she continued quietly.

“Even though I can’t answer those expectations, I’m getting special treatment. It makes me feel a little restless.”

Sometimes, she shows a slightly cold yet mature expression.

I looked away from her and toward the window.

“I know Yakishio has been working hard. You can chill in the Literature Club any time you want.”

“But I can’t write novels, right? Even Yana-chan can write.”

“Yeah, she finished hers as well.”

The novel Yanami has submitted this time is also about convenience store food appreciation. There seem to be new developments too, but it definitely has to do with food.

“In contrast to her, I can’t show up every day. I always wonder whether I’m doing my part in the club.”

An announcement of arrival played. The train started slowing down.

Yakishio stretched her body and stood up.

“I’ll have to decide when I’m a second-year student.”

…Decide?

“Yakishio, it’s not at your station yet.”

“I want to run. Well, Nukkun, do your best.”

“Do my best for what?”

The train stopped. Yakishio walked toward the opening doors and threw something at me.

My limbs flailed around as I tried to catch it. It’s a protein bar.

There’s a “Happy Basude” written on it with a marker.

She probably doesn’t know how to spell birthday…

“It’s not like Christmas happens every day, you know? Go get her.”

Yakishio pointed toward me determinedly. She quickly got off the train.

We aren’t doing anything related to that tomorrow. Does this girl even understand…?

I watched as Yakishio disappeared behind the platform, as I remembered Shikiya-san inside the PE storage.

Her hands felt really soft when she touched my shoulders. Her cold breaths from her lips tickled my ears-

The train is moving again. I sat down and closed my eyes tightly.

I attempted to empty my brain. However, the touch of the protein bar in my hand dragged me back to reality.

By the way, Yakishio, who told you about my birthday?

Komari knows it too. Did Yanami talk about me in the club room?

I gave up on clearing my brain of those chaotic thoughts and sank deep into the chair again.

*

Literature Club Report - Winter Edition

<The Duel Has Just Begun?> by Anna Yanami

I’m already in the 7-Eleven on my way to school early in the morning.

The speaker in the store is playing Christmas songs.

The decorations are already radiating Christmas vibes. However, everyone is so busy in the morning that they don’t have time to care about trivial things like this.

As usual, I occupied the food court by myself. However, someone called my name this time.

“Hey, Ako-san. You seem so chill today, you know?”

The guy trying to talk to me is XX-kun from the same class.

We aren’t that close.

“I’m just eating breakfast. Can you stop bothering me?”

My breakfast is a pork bun.

The meaty stuffing and chewy dough are extraordinary. I have to try it 5 times every week in winter.

XX-kun doesn’t seem to know where he’s heading. He looked in my direction and said, “Oh, I see.” What a smartass.

Outside the window, OO-kun is waiting for the traffic signal at the zebra crossing. A girl is standing next to him.

That’s Jko-chan.

She’s the girl who has been hanging out with him lately. I can see they are chatting happily.

Going to school with a guy in public, I think this is a little indecent.

XX-kun put a cup before me when I was eating my pork bun silently.

It’s a hot latte, a large one also.

I glared at him because it blocked my sight. As for XX-kun, he sat down two seats away from me.

“Here. You like coffee, right?”

XX-kun didn’t say that loudly.

Come to think of it, it’s December 24th today. Is this a Christmas present?

Even though I don’t really like it, I’m not a girl who tramples on other people’s kindness.

The pork bun has already depleted the moisture in my mouth. A cup of hot coffee can soothe my body.

The coffee is thick, but there’s a refreshing taste of milk mixed within. This is delicious every time I try it.”

XX-kun, did you put sugar into this?”

“I did. Ako-san wants two packs of sugar, right?”

You can’t be helped. I sighed internally.

A large cup needs three packs of sugar.

However, a mature woman must not expose her emotions so easily.

The traffic light turned green. He and Jko-chan laughed and walked across the zebra crossing.

Seeing that, I can feel there’s an extra tinge of bitterness in my latte.

*

December 24th. The evening of Christmas Eve.

Toyohashi Station. A massive pedestrian bridge connects the private metro and tram station.

The light show is on the right-hand side of the station’s east gate. There’s a spacious circular area in the middle.

I observed the situation from afar at the exit of the tram station.

-There are 15 minutes left until the promised 6 PM.

The sky is getting dark. A faint white glow appeared due to the street lights.

Bright neon spots sparkle at the light show corner. Despite having some distance, I can feel I’m attracted to that dreamy atmosphere.

“Yo, thanks for waiting.”

Tamaki-senpai came here with a slightly nervous expression.

He’s wearing a slightly mature lapel coat.

“Ah, good work, senpai.”

It feels a little awkward to chat outside of school…

Tamaki-senpai reached his hand out and took off something from my hair.

“What is this? Confetti?”

“My little sister Kaju did it. She caught me when I was heading out.”

“Why would this be the case if you were just caught by your little sister…?”

I don’t know, either.

“She thought I was going on a Christmas date and gave me a grand farewell. I had to remove the celebration banner from the balcony to stop her.”

“...I think things are indeed tough on you.”

Not as tough as senpai, right?

Is it luckier to be messed with by your little sister or girlfriend?

No, before that, having a girlfriend already makes you a great winner in life…

“Are we really going to do it today? Christmas happens once a year, you know?”

“Well, I have already decided to apologize frantically during dinner.”

I meant to say that as a slightly sarcastic joke, yet senpai returned with an ultra-showoff attack.

Indeed, I’m inferior to a person with a girlfriend. Just as I sighed deflatedly due to the subtle hopelessness, senpai’s face suddenly grew anxious.

“...I think Koto is already here.”

I followed his line of sight. Someone who resembles senpai seems to be standing at the bridge afar.

Eh, shouldn’t she be the girl next to her? I can’t tell when she’s not wearing a uniform…

“Don’t get too close, hmm? We’re screwed if they see us.”

That’s right. I won’t accept a result like that after going this far.

I hid behind senpai and secretly observed Tsukinoki-senpai. 

“Shikiya-san isn’t here yet. Don’t tell me she will be walking past us here?”

“She seems to be in a taxi. I don’t think she’ll go through us. I just texted her.”

The only message in the chat is <I’m on my way.> She’s really cool despite dressing like a gal.

“That works. It’s a little much for me to see her-”

Perhaps he’s still a bit worried. Tamaki-senpai looked around.

I spoke up toward his back.

“...Is it time for you to tell me?”

“Tell you what-”

Senpai hesitated to speak up. I finally understood.

“Not long ago, I thought something happened between those two.”

I’m almost entirely sure about this. I stared at senpai as he tried to look away.

“It’s not because of those two. Instead, there was some sort of conflict between the three of you. Am I right?”

Senpai looked around again. He looked elsewhere and spoke up.

“...That was when Koto and I were just second-year students. Tsuwabuki Fest just ended. Koto was still in the student council, a good friend of Shikiya-san.”

He avoided being swallowed by the crowd as he continued stuttering.

“That relationship is…a little different from Koto and Komari-chan’s. It was like I couldn’t interfere.”

Even Tamaki-senpai couldn’t step into those two’s close relationship.

Something like that could never happen today. I didn’t know there was a time like that.

“I’m in the club room alone one day after school. That girl uncharacteristically showed up. Then…”

His tone turned deeper. Senpai’s expression doesn’t seem to be angry or sad. Instead, it’s confusing.

“What happened after that?”

He nodded silently and slowly spoke up.

“Shikiya-san- pushed me over.”

“Ha?”

Wait, what is this guy talking about?

“Wasn’t it because she suddenly fell!? No, what were you two doing!? Were senpai and Shikiya-senpai like that?”

“Hold on. We didn’t do anything! We didn’t- I should say Koto came in at that key moment!”

“Wasn’t that the worst scenario possible?

“...Yes.”

Seriously? No wonder those two have a twisted relationship.

I leaned on the railing and sighed.

…But wait.

“Can these two even face each other after something like that? In Tsukinoki-senpai’s eyes, isn’t that like seeing her boyfriend’s mistress while on a date?”

I don’t know what senpai’s thinking. He closed his eyes and frowned tightly.

“-I don’t think that girl had feelings for me.”

I don’t get it because no one has feelings for me.

After opening his eyes, senpai stared at the bridge adorned by the light show.

“Koto and I have been avoiding talking about this on purpose. However, we still can’t pretend nothing has happened.”

…Now I know these three’s past.

However, the meaning of what had happened- is still unclear.

“Nukumizu, Shikiya-san is already here.”

Senpai looks at a girl whose appearance resembles a beautiful butterfly.

A brown coat wraps around her body. There’s a knitted hat on her head.

This aura can’t be mistaken. It’s Shikiya-san.

I took out my phone.

The answer waiting for us ahead is still unknown.

However, if Tamaki-senpai has already decided to face it, I just need to fulfill my promise to Teiara-san.

*

5:54 PM, December 24th

Ring Section, Toyohashi Station East Exit Bridge

The light decorations spread as they tangle up the bridge. With Koto’s location at the center, the whole decoration shape resembles that of a heart. It’s an excellent spot for taking photos.

A group of high school girls is taking pictures excitedly.

A pair of siblings made their pose. The mother before them pressed the shutter.

Koto’s sight floated around the crowd. She’s letting herself bathe in the gentle blue and white light.

Last year’s Christmas seems like it was yesterday.

At that time, she was just Shintaro’s childhood friend.

She looked forward to that light with a heart full of expectations. Yet, in the end, she had to return home with her tail between her legs.

However, right now, she can already treat that incident as a joke. She lowered her head and attempted to hide her smile. Snowflake-shaped shadows dance around her legs.

She has always looked forward to romantic scenes she saw somewhere.

However, she can’t thoroughly enjoy them due to the embarrassment in her heart.

“...At least I can this year.”

It’s the last Christmas in high school.

The coming year remains unknown. However, their future is already entirely different.

She wants to be with him forever, together for eternity.

Such words appear to be so empty and vague.

She can tell despite being as young as she is.

Her thoughts are interrupted by her phone’s notification sound.

The person she’s waiting for sends her a message.

<Sorry, I’ll be a little late. Can you stay in that spot for a while?>

…Did something happen to Shintaro?

A worrying unusualness flooded her body.

-Stay there.

Usually, he should have asked her to wait for him in a warmer location.

What does that mean- is he preparing a surprise?

While he doesn’t look like such a person, he sometimes follows his instincts.

…However, today, she wants something more ordinary.

An ordinary couple spending a normal Christmas together-

She wants to engrave today’s “normalness” in her heart-

Koto lowered her head. A smile appeared on her face.

I have changed. She couldn’t help but think about that.

She used to yearn to be a special person to the boy she loved. She wanted them to become a couple that was different from everyone else.

However, she doesn’t need that now. She’s okay as long as the two of them are together. That’s all she asks for.

-Koto thought about these things. Then, a pair of brown boots entered her sight.

The scene is nothing out of the ordinary. Yet, it sent cold shivers down her spine.

That pace of steps seems a bit familiar. It reminded her of a distant memory.

Koto immediately raised her head as if something had stimulated her.

“...Shikiya.”

That was a person who used to be with her in real-life and in memory.

She’s wearing a knitted hat. Her white pupils seem to be looking in Koto’s direction.

Her bare legs are exposed under her short skirt below her coat. It feels cold to look at her alone.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m…waiting for someone…too…”

Koto is confused. The strength in her words dissociated into the night sky.

“Is it okay for you to go to another place? I can’t leave.”

“Me…neither.”

She took a step forward. Her body wobbled.

“He asked me to…not leave…and wait for him…”

The meaning behind Shikiya-san’s sentence slowly soaked into Koto’s head. It didn’t take long.

-Someone tricked her.

In other words, this is a farce meant for her to meet with Shikiya here.

Koto acted calmly and tried not to show any signs of nervousness. She asked.

“Shikiya, who are you meeting with? Don’t tell me-”

“Nukumizu-kun…from the Literature Club…”

Shikiya tilted her head slightly. She seems complacent.

“He…invited me out.”

That kouhai has a part in this, indeed.

Koto rubbed her forehead and shook her head.

“Nukumizu-kun is quite capable despite having an earnest and adorable look. He tricked you.”

“What does…that mean?”

“Think about it. We fell into their trap.”

Shikiya is in disbelief as she watches Koto waving her hand.

“Nukumizu-kun…isn’t coming?”

“I guess.”

Koto thought about just leaving on the spot.

She hates to stay here and go along with someone’s else plan. However, running away isn’t exactly an attractive option either.

Shikiya continued to stand next to her dazedly. Koto gave up struggling.

She approached Shikiya and looked at the lights on the bridge.

“...Shikiya, are you going out with Nukumizu-kun?”

“No, …we are…friends, right?”

“Why would I know that?”

She thought they would never have a conversation anymore.

She once thought there was already nothing left to talk about between the two of them.

However, instead of insecurity, Shikiya staying next to her doesn’t seem that unnatural to her.

However, she can’t explicitly avoid that one thing.

“Do you still remember what you have done in the Literature Club’s room last November?”

“...Yes.”

At the time, Koto did her best to schedule student council work and the Literature at different periods.

Shikiya and Shintaro shouldn’t have any point of contact.

That’s why Koto felt like she was watching that scene over a screen instead of reality when she opened the door to the club room.

Perhaps it was to protect her heart from getting hurt or that it was something she could never understand.

Koto took a deep breath and asked the question she had long been pondering.

“Do you- love Shintaro?”

The question is simple. However, unbelievably, Shikiya simply tilted her head.

“...I don’t know.”

“What do you mean by you don’t know? You still can’t tell whether you love him or hate him after doing something like-”

“Sorry, …but, …I don’t understand…”

Shikiya acted like a depressed child. A tinge of pain appeared in Koto’s heart.

“I’m the one who doesn’t understand. Shikiya, you aren’t a woman who loves to play with men, right?”

“Yes…”

“Then why did you do that?”

“It’s because Koto-san…likes…Tamaki-san.”

The answer came a year late, yet it was an unexpected one. Koto couldn’t help but ask.

“Is it like you want something that someone else has? Is that what you mean?”

Shikiya gently shook her head. However, she seems determined.

“I want to be like…Koto-san.”

“Eh? Me?”

Another unexpected answer produced another question for Koto.

“But, …there’s too much that…I don’t understand… Koto-san.”

Shikiya wobbled.

“So, …I wondered…whether I could understand…if I fell in love with…the person Koto-san liked.”

After that, Shikiya stopped moving as if she was a turned-off machine.

Her words repeated in Koto’s mind.

She contemplated her words again and again. Koto stopped reaching her hand out when she felt her fingertips about to touch the girl’s feelings.

The numbness on her fingertips tells her that she can’t proceed anymore.

“...Even so, did you solve it by doing that? The most important thing is that what were you going to do if Shintaro had feelings for you?”

“The person Koto-san loves, …I think…I won’t hate him.”

She muttered. Her side profile under the dancing light show looks so beautiful that even Koto is attracted to her.

If Shikiya really is in love with Shintaro-

Such impossible worries flooded her chest.

“Why do you want to be like me? You’re more beautiful, cuter, and smarter. You have a lot of friends as well.”

“I don’t…even know…how to smile.”

Shikiya sounded like she squeezed that sentence out of her chest.

“Happiness, …excitement, …sadness, …even though I can feel them, …I can never be sure…”

Shikiya took a breath and continued.

“Koto-san can always…express your feelings…directly. …You’re so charming.”

She sighed and took another deep breath, far deeper than her previous ones.

“That’s why…I want to…be like Koto-san.”

The emotions within this sentence definitely aren’t intense.

If anything, they almost disappeared into the winter’s breezes.

It’s the vague dazedness from being unable to manifest her determination.

However, Shikiya did everything she could to send these words to Koto and Koto alone.

Koto gave her a warm smile.

“I don’t understand everything you have said, but I can smile even when I’m not happy.”

With that, she showed her usual mischievous smile.

“There are moments when I smile to go along with the mood. Sometimes I laugh just because others are laughing. It doesn’t take much for me to be happy.”

“Really…?”

“Yes, in the end, I don’t even know whether I’m happy because I’m laughing or I’m laughing because I’m happy.”

She reached her hand out and fiddled with the fur ball on Shikiya’s hat with the tip of her finger.

Shikiya looked at her worriedly.

“You don’t…hate me…? It’s because you have no idea…what I’m thinking about.”

“Even though you seem emotionless, I can tell when you’re happy or excited, you know?”

This time, Koto laughed from the bottom of her heart.

“I won’t hate you, okay? Just be yourself, Shikiya.”

It’s her most sincere thoughts without anything else.

“Yes, …thank you…”

After a tiny nod, Shikiya’s fingertip stroked Koto’s hair.

It’s almost like she wants to be spoiled. Koto mumbled.

“I’m sorry, Shikiya. I didn’t understand you despite spending such a long time with you. I’m an insensitive person, and I have hurt you a lot-”

Shikiya’s finger touched Koto’s lips as if she didn’t want her to continue any further.

“Koto-san, …smile up…?”

Koto showed a slightly puzzled smile. As for Shikiya, she carefully stroked the contour of her lips.

After that, as if she wanted to imitate her, Shikiya tried to make a smile with her lips.

“Being with Koto-san…makes me…very happy.”

Shikiya distanced herself. Her wobbling steps are like the beginning of a dance as she walks toward the plaza center.

Koto followed her. Shikiya curled her fingers on her left hand and reached out to Koto.

“Let’s…make a heart with our hands…?”

“It’s like we’re a couple…”

Koto smiled bitterly. She reached her hand out and formed a heart shape.

“Alright, is this okay?”

Shikiya showed the smile she had just learned again.

“If we…look at everything through this heart…together, …you can pass your exam.”

“You’re lying, right?”

“Yes, …actually, …it’s that we can fall in love with each other…”

“Don’t we like each other already when we can put out a heart together?”

This can’t be helped. She can’t jump ship anymore. Koto got her face close to Shikiya. Her eyes glanced at the heart they made.

“Is this okay? Shikiya, your face is cold.”

The moment she turned toward her-

Shikiya touched Koto’s lips with her own.

Koto paused because of the shock. Then, she finally noticed she was about to be swallowed by her lips. She quickly jumped away.

“Huh!? W-What are you doing!? Eh, wait, are you serious!?”

Shikiya-san put her finger on her lips and mumbled.

“It feels…very soft.”

“That doesn’t matter!”

Koto squatted down. She wrapped her hands around her head.

“Sigh, you, …I was just going to pretend nothing had happened, and then you just threw all of that away and went on the attack.”

Shikiya remained in her poker face. She gently put her hand on Koto’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. …I can be the one engaging if it’s Koto-san…”

“You don’t have to, alright? By the way, how come you’re the top?”

“Then, is Koto-san…the bottom?”

“It’s because I have a boyfriend- uh, what are we even talking about?”

…That’s enough. It feels stupid when she thinks about it.

Koto moaned and stood up. She watched the sparkling neon lights.

It’s just a bunch of LEDs.

It’s just a bunch of slightly dazzling and romantic lights meant to lure a person’s true feelings out.

“The more I think about this, the angrier I am. Shikiya, you haven’t had dinner, right? Should we go eat something together?”

“But, …you’re waiting for Tamaki-san…”

“He’s definitely with Nukumizu-kun, anyway. Oh, Nukumizu-kun asked you out, right? Are you two really not dating?”

Shikiya tilted her head.

“We aren’t. …What’s wrong?”

“Look, isn’t today Christmas Eve? You accepted the invitation, so I thought maybe you were into him.”

“No…”

She shook her head. Her white pupils turned to the sky.

“But, …I think he’s…a little adorable.”

How should I interpret this? Koto pondered for a moment, but she decided to let it go.

It’s best not to touch something sprouting at this moment.

Koto took out her phone. She started making a call after glancing at the screen.

After two dial tones, the person picked it up. She immediately spoke up.

“Shintaro, can you hear me? I’m going to have dinner with Shikiya. I’ll go find you when I think it’s time.”

After that, she ended the call quietly and reached her hand out toward Shikiya.

“Here. I’ll spoil you today, okay?”

“Koto-san, …are you sure…?”

“Alright, Shikiya, what do you want?”

“I…want fish…”

Shikiya acted like a shy child as she sheepishly reached her hand out.

“Leave it to me. I’ll let you try the best red goldeye snapper you ever have.”

Koto held her hand tightly.

She showed the same smile she had a year ago, but this time, it seemed more mature.

*

A cafe near the station.

The music box is playing Christmas songs quietly.

Under the dim candle lights, Tamaki-senpai and I are looking at each other across the dining table.

“Sorry to make you pay for me.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can’t stand eating here alone.”

Tamaki-senpai gently smiled.

Senpai’s Christmas dinner is canceled on the spot. While I’m okay with him inviting me here, we’re surrounded by couples. Our appearance is at the wrong time and place.

“I’ve already reserved this place in advance. I worked my butt off preparing for the exam as I looked forward to this day…”

Senpai suddenly leaned on the table.

“How did this happen?”

I think this is some sort of fate.

But I’m the one who dragged senpai in, so I guess I’m also responsible.

“Alright, don’t be sad. It appears that Shikiya-senpai and Tsukinoki-senpai have already mended their relationship. She’s not mad at you either.”

“Really? I think she’s quite angry.”

“She’s just embarrassed, right? Alright, here are the drinks. Please raise your head.”

The waiter came to the table with drinks.”

“This is the Christmas special, Aranciata Rossa.”

Thud. A huge glass cup is put at the center of the table.

There’s red juice in the cup with two straws helically intertwined with each other.

-We’re supposed to share it.

“Senpai, I think something terrible has been served to us.”

“...It’s Christmas, you know?”

Senpai slightly leaned forward and put the straw into his mouth.

“It’s quite good. Do you want to try it?”

“Well, sure.”

Indeed, it’s a little bitter, but it’s delicious.

We took a sip in turns. Then, Prez seemed to have realized something.

“Nukumizu, try to drink it together with me.”

“Uh, no.”

“I don’t really want to do it either. Here. Come try it.”

Why are you trying it if you don’t want to…?

There’s no way. I did what he said. In the end, a heart-shaped imprint came into view.

“Oh! The juice will turn the straw into a heart if we drink it at the same time?”

“Yes, the heart can only be seen when looked at from above.”

They did spend some effort in making the straw. The waiter served us another dish when we were discussing its design.

“Thanks for the wait. This is the special Christmas appetizer.”

A square plate is put before us.

There are some snowflake-like white bubbles and all kinds of appetizers in various colors.

“You can eat these bubbles, right?”

“It’s called mousse, right? You’re supposed to paint it on Santa and eat it.”

“So, you mean this summoned beast-looking thing is Santa Claus?”

In the end, this is quite interesting.

After finishing the chicken main course, Tamaki-senpai has already regained his energy.

“-Seriously? Did Ayu-chan confess in the latest episode?”

Senpai leaned forward in excitement. I nodded sternly.

“Ehh, then something bad is going to happen next week. Confessing at this key moment is just setting up a flag by herself.”

“Uwah, I really want to see the next episode. I hope I don’t get spoiled before the exam ends.”

Tamaki-senpai laughed as he wiped his mouth with a handkerchief.

“You really were fully committed to your ban on manga and anime.”

“Yeah, there’s another exam right after the new year. I have to catch up on my homework after transferring to science.”

“Right. Did senpai already decide which major you are going to?”

“Did I not tell you? Agriculture. I’m planning to learn to brew.”

Brewing, …like miso and sake? I guess it’s sake.

“If I remember correctly, Tsukinoki-senpai’s family runs a liquor store, right?”

“Not a liquor store. She’s the only daughter of a brewer.”

Oh, I see. That’s why he’s learning to brew. In other words-

“Eh, have you two already gone that far?”

“It’s not that ridiculous, right? I just want to share her burden a little in the future.”

Senpai chugged the drink as if he wanted to cover his embarrassment.

…Speaking of the future after graduation-

I do plan to leave my house after getting into a university. However, I can’t imagine leaving everything behind at all. Well, I can imagine eating dinner alone.

“...Hope everything goes well.”

“Trust me. You just need to prepare for my triumph.”

Senpai raised his thumb victoriously. I purposely showed my contempt.

“Forget about the exam. I feel like senpai has bigger issues with girls. You even said you weren’t popular with girls. Now I know that isn’t true at all.”

“Shikiya-san doesn’t count, alright? Also, I think the same goes for you, Nukumizu. You’re totally in your popular phase, right?”

“Hello? Girls don’t even like me.”

This is a natural retort, yet senpai doesn’t care.

“Nukumizu, just because you’re in your popular phase doesn’t mean girls like you.”

Uh, isn’t that BS? That’s breaking the very definition of “popular phase”, right?

Senpai continued with a serious expression.

“All first-year students in the Literature Club are girls except for you, right?”

“Ha, you’re right.”

“Of course, you’ll be surrounded by guys if everyone in the club is a man. It’s the same even if you’re in the student council, right?”

He’s right. I nodded in honesty.

“In other words, the core of a popular phase is you interacting with girls based on all kinds of coincidences. I’ve heard there are three such opportunities in one’s life. However, if you keep being so dense, it will be like nothing has ever happened if you keep being so dense.”

“Please wait. So, you mean there are two popular phases left in my life?”

“Assuming that this is your first one. Did you hang out with girls before?”

I don’t even have a friend, not to mention girls.

I wanted to laugh it off. However, an ancient memory appeared in my mind.

“...Come to think of it, I did play house with girls in kindergarten.”

Being a boy is rough, man.

“Then that was your first time. Are there any other moments?”

“Hmm, …my little sister’s friend often came to play when I was in middle school. I did hang out with her sometimes.”

“Nukumizu, is your whole life a rom-com…?”

How come senpai sounds a little irritated?

“It wasn’t great. That girl liked running away from school. My little sister was her only friend. She also came to my house even when my little sister wasn’t there. There wasn’t anything I could do aside from playing games with her. Both of us didn’t talk to each other.”

After thinking about it for a while, senpai nodded forcefully.

“This kind of counts as the second time, which means that right now, this is your final popular phase in your life.”

Seriously? Then I’m fated to be alone for the rest of my life.

The plates on the table are being taken away as I think about my retired life. The desserts are the only dishes that haven’t been served yet.

Tamaki-senpai frantically took out his phone when we were choosing our after-meal drinks.

“Sorry, I have to pick up a call.”

He left the restaurant after saying that. I can tell it’s definitely from Tsukinoki-senpai based on his anxious look.

Outside the window, senpai keeps apologizing on the phone. He’s apologizing like a crazed man.

Why do people keep bowing down when they say sorry over the phone…?

He clapped his hands toward me after coming back.

“Sorry! I’ll have to go.”

“Did Tsukinoki-senpai forgive you?”

Tamaki-senpai got into his jacket and smiled bitterly.

“That depends on my upcoming performance. Take your time, Nukumizu.”

Tamaki-senpai paid at the cashier and dashed outside.

I remembered Teiara-san after he left.

Her deal is to give a solution to Tsukinoki-senpai and Shikiya-san’s relationship before tomorrow.

I think I’ve accomplished that already, but she’s the one calling the shot. I think she’s kind of a weird girl. It will be troublesome to explain this to her…

During this time, the waiter came next to the table and smiled.

“My dear guest, can I serve you the desserts if you’re done ordering the drinks?”

“Hmm? Ah, sure.”

A cold shiver suddenly passed through my neck when I grabbed the beverage menu.

“I want…peach ginger tea.”

I trembled after that whisper into my ears. It can’t be anyone else. It’s Shikiya-san.

“Senpai, how did you know I’m here?”

“I asked…Koto-san…”

She took off her knitted hat as she sat in Tamaki-senpai’s seat.

The waiter is unfazed by the sudden change of personnel. He maintained his perfect smile toward us.”

“Peach ginger tea for beverages. Is that okay?”

“Ah, yes. We’ll have two, please.”

With that, the waiter disappeared into the kitchen. Shikiya-san remained still.

This is a little awkward…

I was about to speak up. Shikiya-san raced before me and mumbled.

“You broke…our promise.”

“Uh, I didn’t mean to-”

Honestly, my goal is just to bring Shikiya-san out. The whole invitation thing is a farce- yeah, I’m the worst.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I don’t even know how I should apologize.”

“But…I forgive you…”

Shikiya-san hesitated for a moment. Then, she lifted her lips with both of her index fingers.

“Uh, is this-”

“I’m trying to…smile…”

“...Okay.”

I didn’t know how to react. Shikiya-san covered her face with her hat.

“That…doesn’t count…”

“No, no, that was really nice! Here. The tasty desserts have already been served.”

I tried to energize the mood and recommended the desserts to Shikiya-san.

Buche de Noel. It’s a standard cake roll for Christmas.

Shikiya-san caught her breath slightly. She held the cup of black tea in her hands.

“That was…embarrassing.”

Was that my fault?

After recovering, she ate the dessert and muttered.

“Smiling…is hard…”

Shikiya-san’s face is distorted by the steam from the black tea.

I’ve never thought about whether smiling is difficult or not.

“But isn’t senpai smiling all the time?”

“Do I…smile…?”

Shikiya-san hastily leaned forward.

She’s closer than I thought. It’s a little terrifying.

“Uh, let me think. Even though you don’t make noises, your overall aura seems happy.”

“Aura…?”

Ah, how come she seems so deflated suddenly?

“Alright, here’s an example. People say dogs express their feelings through their tails, right? However, if you observe closely, you can understand their emotions from their posture, movement, and eyes.”

Even though I think this explanation is very awkward, Shikiya-san nods in satisfaction.

“Yes, …dogs, …I like…”

Yeah, I like them too.

I’m a little relieved as I continue to devour the dessert. Shikiya-san stared at me. It seems like she wants to say something.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Is everything okay…about the doujinshi?”

“I’ll talk to Teiara-san tomorrow. I’ve already fulfilled her promise-”

“Promise…?”

Ah, I still haven’t told Shikiya-san about this, right?

After telling her about my promise to Teiara-san, Shikiya-san mumbled. She seemed quite content.

“Teiara-chan…is a very naughty girl…”

“I guess you two are similar.”

“Then I’m also… a naughty girl…”

Shikiya-san put down her tea cup silently.

-Koto Tsukinoki and Yumeko Shikiya.

Whether it’s the crack that has always been lying between them or their reaffirmed feelings under the rainbow lights-

I don’t have a way to figure them out. Perhaps not even the two of them understand.

But isn’t that how interpersonal relationships are?

Shikiya-san and Tsukinoki-senpai have already mended their relationship, while Teiara-san has one less thing to worry about.

All of this is already enough as my 15-year-old’s epilogue.

Shikiya-san had already finished her dessert when I snapped out of it. As usual, I don’t know when her mouth moved.

I pretended to be sipping my black tea while observing Shikiya-san in secret.

Her makeup is much lighter today. I’ll believe it if someone says she doesn’t have any makeup, excluding her beautiful white pupils.

Not long ago, Yanami said, “Don’t believe those girls who say they don’t put on any makeup.” Perhaps she’s jealous too.

That’s why girls are scary.

…However, this girl has really long eyelashes. Her face is beautiful too. Unlike Yanami, she gives off a mature woman’s flirtatious aura.

I’m a bit out of my mind from looking at her. Shikiya-san tilted her head and stared at me.

“What’s…wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about what you had talked about with Tsukinoki-senpai.”

Shikiya-san slowly put her finger on her lips.

“...It’s a secret.”

She whispered. Her crossed legs changed positions.

Uh, what’s with this atmosphere?

“Did something happen?”

Shikiya-san didn’t answer. Instead, her body wobbled in satisfaction.

…What on Earth happened?

I prayed for Tamaki-senpai’s success tonight as I chugged the remaining black tea.

-The music box is still playing a peaceful tune.

Inside the dim restaurant, Shikiya-san is trembling slightly under the candles.

There’s no conversation. The tea cups are empty already.

Being alone with an older girl deprived me of my courage to utilize this silence.

Honestly, this is quite boring. I don’t know what I should say.

But I can’t just leave without any reason.

For some reason, I don’t hate this awkward time I’m spending with Shikiya-san.

Shikiya-san is drinking tea silently as usual. Her white pupils seem to be staring at something.

But I’m willing to continue waiting for her sight.

Shikiya-san looked at me. She tilted her head gently.

I gave an unnatural smile and tilted my neck also.

Awkward and uncomfortable.

Yet I don’t want this time to go away.

I relaxed to try to figure out an answer to my confusion.

-If I have to give a name to my feelings, I wonder which word suits it the most?