Too Many Losing Heroines! - Volume 1 - Chapter 1.1

Loss 1:

The Pro Childhood Friend Strikes Out

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, ONIICHAN. I KNOW, BABY. I KNOW how hard you work. You just let me take care of you, all right? You deserve to be pampered.”

I sniffled. What a saint Kurumi-chan was. What a perfect little sister, the way she loved and cared for her big brother. These affirmation scenes could go on for up to twenty pages, and no, they never got old.

I shut the book and admired the heroine on the cover, wondering about when it would be my turn to love. When it would be my turn to have a pair of thighs to rest my weary head on.

“What’s your problem, Sousuke?! Are you just not gonna do anything?!”

A shout from the neighboring table took me out of my reverie. Someone was having a bit of a lover’s spat. It was always something with these people. Maybe it was an extrovert thing. Whatever it was, they needed Kashitani Kurumi to set them straight. They didn’t call her “the Sweetest Angel” for nothin’.

None of my business. I started to get up to grab some melon soda (so as to properly enjoy the following insert illustration) but quickly sat my butt back down.

I’d goofed bad. Real bad. That couple? They were wearing the same school uniform as me. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I recognized them. We were classmates.

The one who’d shouted was Yanami Anna—one of those bubbly types. Popular. Sitting across from her was Hakamada Sousuke. Again, popular. Handsome. Didn’t know they were dating, but I wasn’t exactly surprised. They were glued at the hip around school. The question remained: Why had they picked here, my family restaurant hangout, to have their falling out?

I returned to my book, half focused on listening in.

“Unless you go stop her right now, Karen-chan’s gonna be gone forever. You realize that, don’t you? Do you have any idea how far away Britain is?”

“We said our goodbyes,” the guy protested.

“And you honestly mean to tell me you took her seriously?!”

Boy, talk about trite. Where had I heard all that before? It really was odd finishing up my story while another was unraveling literally right next to me.

“Karen” sounded familiar. I recalled that we’d had a transfer student come in not too long ago. Himemiya Karen. She was a real whirlwind. The first thing out of her mouth was an accusation. Apparently, Hakamada had groped her or something, I dunno.

Wait, she’s going back already? No pacing, I swear.

“Should I not have?” Hakamada asked.

“You wouldn’t get it. You don’t know how it feels to be in…” Yanami hung her head and bit her lip.

“Anna, I—”

“Forget it,” she said quietly. She looked up, composed, and dropped a bike key on the table. “Go. She’s waiting for you.”

“You’re sure?”

“She’s a patient girl. Just don’t keep her long. Make her happy—she deserves it.”

“Thanks, Anna. I won’t screw it up this time.”

Yanami nodded. “I know you won’t. Don’t forget I’ve got a shoulder to lend if she ends up dumping you on your butt.”

“I’m…” A moment later, and he was gone. Without so much as a second glance back at his friend.

Yanami stood there for a while before plopping back down lifelessly. “Yeah. You better not finish that sentence,” she muttered.

And there I was. Just kinda sitting there. A foreigner in an exotic land of drama and social lives. I decided the best thing I could do for her dignity was to simply pretend I wasn’t there. So I did exactly that and hid behind the menu.

Until…

Bro, she wouldn’t.

Yanami Anna, fresh off the rejection bus, reached for a glass. The glass of the man who had just ripped her heart out.

Don’t. Do not. No! my soul cried in vain.

She held the glass tenderly in both hands, and then, ever so slowly, in the straw went between her lips. Line: officially crossed.

Her eyes wandered this way, that way, before finally landing on mine. Yikes. Uh-oh. Bad. Various other exclamations of displeasure.

Part of me prayed she wouldn’t recognize me. This hope was dashed as soon as I saw the red start to creep up her cheeks. And then—coffee. Coffee spraying from her lips. Coffee on the table. Coffee everywhere. She spat out the drink, and what didn’t come out she choked on.

This, friends, was why I preferred the two-dimensional.

My only recourse was to double down. I had seen nothing. You could tell by how good I was at whistling and how invested I was in the menu. Unfortunately, my talents were wasted on the likes of Yanami, who marched right on over and sat across from me. Because God forbid we both minded our own business.

“You. I know you. You’re Nukumizu-kun. We’re in the same class,” she accused.

“O-oh, well, if it isn’t Yanami-san,” I sputtered. “What a coinkydink.”

I wasn’t convincing anyone. Certainly not Yanami. The blush climbed up to her ears. She shot me her most serious, intimidating look.

“Th-this better stay between us!”

“Sure, uh, yeah. Didn’t see anything anyway. Not me.”

“That’s right! Not a thing!” She shot up out of her seat, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

In my defense, I’d gotten here first. Anything I had happened to bear witness to was not my responsibility.

Whatever. It was done. I put it out of my mind and headed to the drink bar. A nice cold melon soda would cool my head.

When I got back, though, Yanami was still standing there at my table. She had her wallet open, clumsily counting coins—yeah, she was clearly broke. I went to slip by her, but my conscience held me back. There was no real tactful way out of this situation with her loitering right where I needed to be.

This was for the good of my free time, which she was currently wasting. That was all there was to it. I counted to ten in my head, then called out to her. “You, uh…need some help?”

“Wha?” she croaked, halfway to crying. She nodded slowly.

I took her receipt. How much could she have possibly eaten? The answer: a lot. Hakamada had ordered a friggin’ steak combo. Yanami, bless her heart, had made an attempt to settle for soup and salad, only to give up and order a burger and dessert. The lack of foresight on display here was truly impressive.

“All right, well, I’ll cover you today,” I said. “Just pay me back Monday.”

There went my evening plans to go light novel shopping. A sacrifice, to be sure, but eh. As much as I would have liked to, I couldn’t just leave a classmate out to dry, especially not after what she’d just been through.

“Really? You’re sure? I mean, I hardly know you,” she said.

Hey, whatever gets you gone faster—aaand she’s sitting down.

“Are you, uh, not leaving?” I asked.

“Thanks, Nukumizu-kun. I really appreciate it. Guess I had you all wrong.”

Ah, yes, insult me while you’re at it. I was beginning to regret giving in to empathy.

“Not leaving? No?”

Yanami folded her hands together and stared off into the distance. Quite irreverently. “We’re childhood friends, you know.”

Oh, do tell.

She did. “When we were kids, Sousuke made me a ring out of clovers, and he asked me to marry him. Can you believe it?”

Tears welled in her eyes and quickly spilled over.

“Wh-whoa, hey!” I blubbered. “Are you good?”

This was going well, if you ignored all the prying eyes and literally everything else about the situation. I fled to the drink bar again, picked a tea bag at random, and plunked it in some water for her.

“Here, just…” I came back and handed it to her. “Collect yourself.”

“Thanks.” She took a sip. “Mh, I like this.”

“Good. I think that’s rose hip.” I remembered the label or whatever that I’d read while I was over there. “It’s good for your skin.”

Yanami cast her eyes down. “Not like I have anyone to look good for anymore.”

This was just plain painful. I racked my brain for literally anything to say to get us off the subject and her out of my hair. Wasted effort.

“One large fry!” a newcomer in a uniform called out.

“I’m sorry?” I blinked. Suddenly there were fries. And it was on my bill. “I’m sorry, we didn’t—”

“I care about Karen-chan a lot. I do. She’s a dear friend to me,” Yanami continued. “It’s just, well… She just showed up, you know? It’s like, were Sousuke and I just not together for over a decade? What happened to all that?”

She blew her nose into a napkin, then went straight for the fries.

“Hey, did you order these?”

“I’m the one he asked to marry. How is that fair? How can he just lie like that?”

I could think of a few things that were less than fair in that moment. Welp, I’d made my bed. I could either keep whining or suck it up and lie in it.

“How old were you when he made that promise?” I asked, barely holding back a sigh.

“Before elementary school, so like, four or five?” she replied.

Yeah, nah. Not legally binding.

Another fry. “Do you think that counts as cheating? It has to, right? Like, how do you just jump ship like that after one transfer student with a couple honkers shows up?”

Now that was an interesting angle. I hadn’t pegged Hakamada as a philanderer. Himemiya Karen was a looker—no one could argue that—but Yanami had her charms for sure. Unfortunately for her, however, she hadn’t been born with that X factor that all the anime and manga title girls had. I genuinely felt for her in that respect.

“I didn’t know you guys were actually dating,” I said.

“Huh? O-oh, no. I mean, did it look like we were?” Yanami blushed and giggled to herself. “People always did say we were super cute together. Can’t blame you for assuming.”

I blinked at her. “So you’re not dating. Then literally how is it cheating?”

Yanami winced. “W-well, you said so yourself! We kind of were! Sorta! We would have been if it weren’t for that homewrecker and her mommy milkers!”

The best of friends, those two sounded.

“Also!” she coped. “Who knows? Maybe he’ll change his mind at the last minute or something.”

“I’m sorry to say the eleventh hour has passed.”

Yeah, I was a bit of an expert. I’d read my fair share of rom-coms, and her goose was downright cooked. I sipped my melon soda. With reverence.

“You wanna know something?” Yanami asked. “Just between you and me, Sousuke and I have bathed together.”

“Uh-huh. When you were four or five?”

Sousuke and his new girl would hit that base in no time.

“Okay, but our families are close! We practically have their blessing already! That’s, like, one of the most important parts about having a wed…ding.” The tears returned with a vengeance.

“Sh-should I be concerned?”

“The wedding…” Yanami whined. “I had a dress picked out and everything. And that tits-for-brains stole it from me…”

Oof, that one was on her. You never picture the dress that far in advance, or your rival wearing it instead of you, for that matter. I wondered what the rejection bus’s schedule looked like, because I was over this passenger.

“I know. I know, okay? It’s my fault for sitting around for so long. I should have been brave,” she said.

“You, uh, need a refill? The mint tea here’s pretty good.”

“No… Tastes like toothpaste.” Yanami pouted, then smiled. She wiped her eyes clean. “Sorry. Bit much, huh?”

“Hey, no worries,” I said. That wasn’t the apology I was personally waiting for.

“I’ll be okay. As long as Sousuke’s happy, I can settle for best friends.”

“Y-yeah. Okay.”

Yanami was a roller coaster of emotion. She went on and on, and I just sat there eating french fries. Listening. Doing my best to be as patient as possible. There was a word for heroines like her whose ships wound up lost at sea.

They were the losers.

Yanami Anna was a losing heroine.