Tokyo Ravens - Volume 8 - Chapter 1.3

Part 3 
Their first class was unrelated to Onmyoudou, but instead was an explanation of many matters about the Onmyou Academy. Ohtomo Jin had originally been the homeroom teacher of Harutora's class, but he was in the hospital. Another teacher stood on the podium in his place. 
He explained that the academy building repairs had already finished, about their sudden stays at home, touched upon trivial matters regarding restarting the curriculum, and their class schedule for the future. He also spoke about the general situation that had happened at the Exorcist Bureau Meguro branch. But there wasn't any particularly attention-worthy information to the student. As they predicted - though maybe the teacher himself didn't know - there was no explanation about Natsume's business. 
During the break time after their first class. 
"Wait, Kyouko!" 
Harutora ran into the corridor, chasing after Kyouko who had swiftly left the classroom. Kyouko should have heard Harutora's voice, but she didn't stop. She even sped up. Harutora clicked his tongue, continuing to chase. 
Harutora felt that it was best to talk with Kyouko as soon as possible, as it was getting harder and harder to speak up. Moreover, Harutora hoped to apologize beforehand on his own while Natsume wasn't there. 
She caught up to her around a corner, 
"Kyouko." 
And grabbed her shoulder. 
Kyouko unconsciously twisted her body and pushed him away with her hands. Harutora also immediately relaxed his grip. But because of this, he was finally able to be face-to-face with her. 
"...Sorry." 
The apology was first, so he would say it before thinking. Kyouko lowered her head, biting her lip. 
"Kyouko, sorry. But please listen to my explanation. I won't ask you to forgive me...... But I at least want to talk with you first." 
Kyouko didn't say a word to Harutora, who was the only one speaking. But Harutora didn't back down. He quickly adjusted his tone, and his words became calmer. 
"Did you see my message? I wrote about Natsume's reasons there. Although that 'family tradition' is unreasonable, you know her personality, right? As long as it's a regulation of the Tsuchimikado family, she'll choose to obey it no matter how unreasonable and hard to accept it is. That girl does her best in her own way. Otherwise, she wouldn't have done something reckless like coming to the Onmyou Academy posing as a male. Of course, it was my fault for hiding it from you, and I'm really regretful. So I wanted to at least come to apologize to you. Please let me express my apologies." 
Harutora wove his words with all his power. Just as he had said to Natsume yesterday night, he could only patiently apologize to her face. There was nothing he could do other than convey his sincerity with all his might. 
He would get closer step by step to reach even the slightest understanding. Then...... 
"I......" 
Kyouko opened her mouth hesitantly. Harutora corrected his posture. 
"......I said before." 
"What?" 
"I met a boy at Natsume's home before. Then...... I started liking him......" 
Kyouko lowered her head, continuing her words in short snippets as if talking to herself. Harutora listened carefully, focusing his mind on Kyouko as she spoke. 
"......Ah, I heard. Something from when you were small. You said, well, love at first sight......" 
"......" 
"Sorry. But actually, Natsume......" 
"A boy." 
Kyouko interrupted Harutora's words, speaking resolutely. 
Harutora didn't know what Kyouko's words meant and was a bit confused. Kyouko raised her head to stare at Harutora. 
They looked at each other. Her clear, pretty eyes explored Harutora's heart. 
"He was very nice, and didn't hate me for being arrogant when we first met. I remember very clearly that he nodded when I asked him if he was called Tsuchimikado. That person...... he was a boy." 
That shouldn't be. You've got it wrong. Harutora thought of how to tactfully refute Kyouko in order to keep from hurting her...... 
He froze. 
...Are you the boy who lives here? 
...Eh? No. 
...Liar. Aren't you Tsuchimikado? 
...Ah, yeah. Well. But...... 
Natsume, who was sick, was sleeping. He had met an unfamiliar girl in the courtyard. The two of them had searched the courtyard - for a missing ribbon. 
Right. 
...Okay? Don't forget, because it's a promise. 
Harutora's mind went white, as if his heart had stopped beating. 
Kyouko seemed to notice something from Harutora's expression. A blush emerged on her face, and she walked away while trembling lightly to conceal the fact that she had gone too far. 
Harutora didn't dare chase after Kyouko's departing back, as if his body would crumble into pieces if he took a single step. 
Kyouko's back vanished in the end of the corridor, but Harutora still remained motionless as if he had been paralyzed. 
Just then, 
"......How's the heroic sacrifice?" 
Someone spoke to him from behind. "Touji." Harutora replied in a voice that sounded like a different person's. 
It seemed that he had come take a look out of worry for him. Tenma had come too. 
"A-Are you alright, Harutora-kun? Why are you so pale?" 
"Tenma...... Where's Natsume?" 
"She's still in the classroom. She was suddenly surrounded by a couple of people, but she should manage...... So? It seems that I guessed right, you sacrificed yourself quite heroically, but can you explain the situation a bit? How did Kyouko react?" 
"......No......" 
"Huh? Hey, hey, why did even you change like this. Did something happen?" 
Touji furrowed his brows in surprise, but Harutora had trouble opening his mouth to explain. 
Actually, his heart was still in disarray and his mind had stopped working. Touji looked at Harutora with a stunned expression, and traded looks with Tenma not long afterwards. The two of them could only tilt their heads, not knowing what to do. 
"Oh my. This time I'm standing on the side that's getting things concealed from them. It's not really convincing, no matter what I say...... Tenma. Sorry for bringing you trouble, but could you go chat with Kyouko a bit?" 
Touji stopped paying attention to the lifeless Harutora, making a request of Tenma a bit apologetically. Other than Kyouko, Tenma was the only other person among their companions who hadn't known about Natsume's secret. Also, Tenma had known Kyouko the longest among their group, so he was the most suitable to smooth things over now. 
But Tenma didn't reply immediately. 
Touji peeked at the responseless friend. Tenma had his arms crossed, thinking. 
"Tenma?" 
"Ah, yeah, I'm listening." 
Tenma looked up and replied. 
Then, he looked towards Touji. 
"But, it will probably be very difficult even for me. It's probably not our problem......" 
Tenma's reply was very unexpected to Touji. 
Tenma showed his unique gentle smile, making a different proposal. 
"Rather, although I'm not sure if it will be effective, why don't you let me ask someone else to help?" 

 

Liar. 
She hadn't originally planned on saying those words. She had originally thought she was a more tolerant person. She had been thinking continuously when she had been staying at home. 
She hadn't picked up the phone because she didn't want to speak directly. She hadn't replied to his messages because she thought that she couldn't convey herself clearly through those means. She wanted to seriously apologize. So she had stayed silent, waiting until now. 
The next time they met, she would try taking back those words, pretending they didn't exist, and then returning to their original relationship. She made her decision countless times. She had told herself that countless times. 
But she still hadn't been able to do it. 
Once she saw Natsume and Harutora in the classroom, the lines she had practiced many times vanished into nothingness. She couldn't control herself. She should at least escape first, but she hadn't run away. 
In the end, she had faced Harutora and made those remarks. 
She hadn't had any plans at all of saying those words. 
She no longer had any confidence in herself, none at all. Anyway, she didn't want to be involved anymore and she hoped that she wouldn't get shaken again. 
So. 
She kept a stiff upper lip and avoided Harutora and Natsume for the whole day. 
After school. 
Kyouko, who was the first to rise, forced herself to ignore the gazes around her, leaving the classroom without looking back. Though she didn't plan on leaving the academy building, she stayed away from the corridor for now. 
Before she realized it, she was already sitting in the emergency stairwell set along the outside wall of the academy building. 
Why had she come here? The current Kyouko didn't want to understand the reasons behind it. The landing of this emergency stairwell was a place where Harutora's group often gathered. Maybe she would meet Harutora and Natsume if she came here. Why had she come here while fleeing left and right? 
It was as if she were waiting while running away. 
"What......" 
Kyouko sat down with a plop, curling her hair with a finger. 
Though she shouldn't say it herself, Kurahashi Kyouko was an 'elite', the daughter of the famous Onmyoudou family and giant in the current magic community that was the Kurahashi family. Her grades in the Onmyou Academy were excellent, and she had obtained the deep trust of her teachers. She was a core of the class. Of course, that 'way of life' was extremely difficult, but she had planned on using that as training in the first place. Whether it was for ability or personality. 
So she doubted her current self even more. This wasn't her true self, she had to believe. 
"......So terrible." 
How would Harutora see her slip of the tongue? Would he tell Natsume? She didn't want to imagine it, she wanted to vanish right away. How had things become like this? She had no idea. 
But...... 
"......I......" 
It was hard for her to rationally control herself, and in the end she had shouted 'Liar' in front of those two. Unintentionally, she had ended up revealing the truth about her childhood matters to Harutora. 
Then, 
Doing the above things was the other side of Kurahashi Kyouko, which couldn't be described with 'elite'. Impulsive, reckless actions. Perhaps these actions were even closer to Kurahashi Kyouko's true 'core' that she had bared. 
In the end, she hadn't forgiven Harutora and Natsume. However she looked at it. 
"......" 
Kyouko, still sitting on the stairs, hung her head in low spirits, inadvertently covering her face with her hands. 
It was the first time she experienced this. Secretly, she had evaluated herself as the most mature among her companions. That wasn't the case at all. She was this immature one layer down. 
Natsume was a girl. 
The person she had adored since childhood wasn't Natsume, it was Harutora. 
But now that she knew this, Kyouko still couldn't make sense of her emotions. 

She had only finally realized how kindly he treated her in the past few days. She hated herself for that. Had she truly liked Natsume? If she did - why hadn't she noticed? Her childhood memories and the adoration she had kept until now were both genuine. They should be true. But why had she naturally accepted this change in the status quo? Could it be that she was just obsessed with the illusion that she had created herself? Was it just a form of self-satisfaction, thinking she was incredible while wallowing in her 'beautiful unrequited love'? 
It was stupid. 
"......It really is stupid......" 
Her mood became more and more depressed as she let her thoughts swirl around. 
Was this lovesickness? 
Or, was there nothing that she could call love in the first place....... 
A one-man show about complacently loving herself...... 
She was such a joke...... 
Just then, 
"Uwah, how gloomy. What's this. You scared me." 
She thought her heart was about to explode. 
She suddenly raised her head. Then, she met eyes with the person who had passed through the door half-blocking the stairway and was peering over. 
She saw dyed-golden ponytails from the gap. 
"......S-Suzuka-chan......" 
"You...... Can you cut that out? Just watching feels unpleasant...... I'm getting squeamish." 
Those unsympathetic and impolite words made Kyouko's face redden. Suzuka's face was still bitter after seeing Kyouko's reaction, but not long afterwards she walked out from the academy building to the emergency staircase as if she had thought of something. 
"What are you doing anyway?" 
"I-I, nothing......" 
"Nothing? You've got your arms wrapped around your knees. If I had to say, it's full of the feeling of a girl troubled with love, you know? Also, it's the one-sided, self-indulgent kind? How creepy~ I don't want to touch it directly. You better put an end to that feeling quickly, you know? It's painful." 
It was probably rare for her to endure venomous insults. Though she was currently hating herself, she still hoped that Suzuka appreciated her last bit of rationality that kept her from pouncing on her. 
"......Suzuka-chan, did you come to pick a fight?" 
"What are you joking about. I don't have that kind of free time." 
"Then for what?" 
"Why I came...... Someone requested that I come and check the situation. I don't care myself, but that glasses lowering his head and pleading was a bit troublesome......" 
Suzuka turned her head to look away and Kyouko blinked. 
"......Tenma?" 
"Yeah. That guy's attitude is unexpectedly firm, and he forced me to come. He's so inconspicuous though. I originally thought he was a guy who knew his own place. How annoying." 
The constantly complaining Suzuka furrowed her brows in seeming irritation. How exactly had he pleaded? Kyouko, who had been friends with Tenma for a long time, couldn't conceal her surprise. 
But it had indeed been a good move to ask Suzuka to come. Needless to say, Harutora and Natsume couldn't come, and Kyouko would run away even if it were Touji or Tenma who appeared. Suzuka was the only one right now who could make Kyouko return to her former attitude. But even Tenma hadn't anticipated things suddenly becoming like this. 
Kyouko suddenly broke out into light, bitter laughter. Though it was bitter, this was the first time she had smiled today. 
"......Suzuka-chan...... Suzuka-chan, did you know? About Natsume-kun." 
"That she's a girl? Yeah. It was really laughable to watch." 
"When did you realize?" 
"Well, since the beginning - since I ran into them at her home." 
With that, Kyouko realized. Suzuka's strength was currently being sealed by the Onmyou Agency as punishment for the incident she had brought about last year. She had heard that the summer incident was the first time Suzuka met Harutora and Natsume, and had also become the juncture leading to Harutora transferring into the Onmyou Academy. 
"......I see. You wouldn't have realized if you hadn't known them before." 
"I wouldn't have realized if I hadn't known them before? How unreasonable. ......Well, although her aura is disguised pretty well." 
That was true. Looking back now that she knew the truth, Natsume's male disguise could only be described as a mess. Natsume had probably been counting on always keeping a distance from others like she had when she had just entered the academy. When she entered the Onmyou Academy, Natsume had originally held no intention of establishing close relationships with anyone else. 
But Natsume had changed since Harutora and Touji transferred in. It wasn't just the two of them, it had also been Kyouko herself. If Natsume's disguise was described as a bomb, the three of them had all lit the fuse in unison. 
Natsume hadn't concealed her identity out of ill intent, she was probably just doing as she should. Wasn't it Kyouko who had one-sidedly liked her and willfully become frustrated? 
She hated herself even more...... 
"Also," 
Suzuka suddenly opened her mouth. Kyouko turned her head. 
"Have you changed a bit? Why are you so depressed now." 
"What do you mean, 'changed'?" 
"Weren't you in a fit of anger? What about now? You're the side that got tricked." 
"B-But, Natsume-kun didn't mean to hide it...... There's a reason, right? Because of the Tsuchimikado family tradition--" 
Suzuka raised her eyebrow upon seeing Kyouko starting to make excuses for some reason. 
"I said..." 
She continued speaking irritably: 
"That just means she thinks 'family tradition' is more important than her friends, right? Touji and I both knew before, but we didn't tell anyone, so she could have told you in private, right? To think she hates breaking her 'tradition' that much? ...She doesn't even mind fooling her companions?" 
"That......" 
Suzuka's direct and brusque words left Kyouko speechless. 
Suzuka crossed her arms, irritably tapping the stairs with her finger. 
"That's what led to all these problems, right? Love? Hate? That's not what you should be complaining about. The issue isn't whether she was hiding it on purpose or not. Things became this troublesome because she didn't communicate properly, right? Why don't you just go yell 'what the hell!' at her? It's fine even if you make them kneel for forgiveness! Why are you being depressed out here on your own?" 
Then, Suzuka craned her neck, glaring at Kyouko to her face with narrowed eyes. 
"The 'other party' is the one that's 'wrong', right?" 
"......Yeah......" 
She inadvertently nodded like a child. "See." Suzuka's expression became overjoyed and she nodded her head exaggeratedly. 
"......But, that group of fools knows that they made a mistake now. Hurry up and go scold them and whip them raw. Let them know exactly how arrogant, impassive, and self-assertive they are. Go make them wear the word 'dumbass' on their foreheads for a month or make them apologize ten thousand times!" 
"Suzuka-chan......" 
Those methods were probably a bit poorly thought out. But Suzuka's clumsy gentleness warmed her heart, and she couldn't help but think of what she had spoken while pretending to be amazing during the practical skills camp to let Suzuka open her heart. It probably wasn't only Natsume and Harutora that were conceited, she was probably the same. 
A vague, tangled feeling continuously expanded and Kyouko's nose started dripping. Suzuka became a bit panicked, seeming not to know how to deal with this. 
"Those guys are so insidious. They say so much one-sided impolite nonsense to others like they know everything, but they're full of lies! Natsume too, that Bakatora too, they're being so secretive about that shikigami Hokuto's business! They always want other people to think of something for them!" 
Suzuka became more and more zealous, continuously bad-mouthing Harutora and Natsume. It seemed that she had accumulated a lot of grudges. But on the other hand, this was proof that she had always been paying attention to the two. In contrast, Kyouko revealed a smile as she saw Suzuka spewing abuse. 
But there was something she was very interested in. 
"......Hey, Suzuka-chan. If by 'Hokuto's business' you mean Harutora and Natsume-kun's servant shikigami, didn't we know about that a long time ago?" 
"Not that dragon. It's not that Hokuto--" 
After she spoke to this point, Suzuka finally realized that she was speaking about things she hadn't planned to. 
She showed weakness and confusion in front of the dazed Kyouko. But she had just criticized Natsume's attitude, and it would be very hypocritical if she did the same thing right away. 
"Didn't Bakatora talk about it during the camp? When you asked who he liked......" 
She finally recalled it when she heard this. Hokuto. Harutora had mentioned it during the camp, the simple shikigami controlled from a long distance that he had always believed to be human. 'I want to see her again.' Harutora missed that shikigami girl. 
...Eh? 
Kyouko also realized after it was brought up again. 
"W-Wait. Natsume-kun didn't tell him?" 
Suzuka showed a bitter expression before Kyouko's confirmation. 
"I don't have enough proof to make her confess. But...... If you consider it objectively, there shouldn't be any doubts, right? There aren't any other possibilities." 
"......" 
What was up with that? The two of them were still concealing things from each other? Hokuto's true identity was Natsume? Really? In that case, then Natsume knew that Harutora had always been concerned about Hokuto, right? In any case, why did Natsume take the trouble to use a shikigami like Hokuto? Also, why had she kept her mouth shut about it up till now? 
"Anyway!" Suzuka continued rambling upon seeing Kyouko go silent. 
"You don't have to feel bad about those guys. Hurry up and reconcile with them! I have plans!" 
"......Plans?" 
"Wh-What? Everyone has plans, right!? Alright, hurry up and go get mad at them!" 
For some reason, Suzuka shouted back with a red face at Kyouko's indifferent question. In any case, Suzuka was indeed doing her best for Kyouko. She herself also felt unhappy and uncomfortable with Kyouko and the others' current situation. Upon thinking that she had even gotten Suzuka to feel sorry for her, she inadvertently became joyful even if Suzuka was still using her own methods to cheer her up. 
But, 
"......Sorry, that's still a bit hard to do now...... I think." 
She didn't have the self-confidence right now to face Harutora and Natsume and talk properly. Though it was shameful, that was reality. 
Suzuka just showed a disquieted, hurt expression upon seeing Kyouko's self-deprecating response, feeling that her lobbying had ended up useless. 
But at least Suzuka had expressed her feelings to Kyouko and her wish to be on Kyouko's 'side'. Even if it was just out of politeness, Kyouko did her best to smile. 
"Suzuka-chan." 
She stood up from the stairs and then crouched in front of Suzuka. 
"Thanks." 
She hugged her tightly. 
Suzuka suddenly became flustered. "Hey! What are you doing!" She panicked, escaping from Kyouko's clutches with a red face. She suddenly stepped back, her eyes wide and her body stiff. This reaction, like that of a small animal not used to intimate contact, made a smile bloom on Kyouko's face - this time, it was very natural. 
Then, 
"Huh? Suzuka-chan, did you drop something?" 
"......Eh? ...Ah!" 
A sheet of messily folded paper had dropped from the pocket of Suzuka's uniform. It seemed to be an advertisement. Kyouko picked it up first and opened it. 
A notification about the Sumida River Fireworks Festival. She inadvertently looked at Suzuka. 
"N-No! Let me tell you, there's no meaning behind this! I was just carrying it because I wanted to doodle on the back! It had nothing to do with what you're thinking at all!" 
It seemed to be just as Kyouko imagined. Suzuka's 'plans' were undoubtedly this fireworks festival. She checked the date. It was this weekend, which meant the day after tomorrow. 
...Hmm. 
She couldn't postpone this indefinitely, it would have to end someday. For Suzuka and for herself. 
"......I understand, Suzuka-chan. So wait a bit, please, just wait a little longer......"