Part 3
He walked into the entrance, moving through the corridor.
He was a bit concerned about entering the mansion dripping wet, but the surroundings were dark, and it would be hard for him to turn on a light, much less find a towel to dry himself. Only the butterfly leading Harutora glowed with light in the darkness. He followed the butterfly, relying on his memory as he walked into the mansion.
After walking for a while, he saw a faint light shining through the gap of a sliding door in the corridor.
It was a wood-floored room, called the 'Bellflower Room' by the Tsuchimikado family. The butterfly hovered in front of the sliding door, and the sliding door opened as Harutora approached.
The light spilling out of the room was the light from candles.
The room was about twelve tatami mats [16] , and there was an altar set up inside with a yorishiro [17] , sakaki [18] and gohei for worship. There were also various instruments displayed around it, hanging scrolls with incantations written on them, and several candles on the altar with softly swaying flames that dimly lit the room.
The interior of the room gave off a mildewy odor mixed with the smell of the heat and rain, but at the same time he could smell the elegant aroma of the drifting incense.
Natsume sat in the center of the room.
Harutora was a bit surprised. Natsume had taken off her original clothes, changing into the pure white and red Japanese hakama of a shrine maiden, kneeling and preparing a talisman that had been placed on the floor. The butterfly flew before Natsume, stopping on the floor, and returned to a small shikigami charm.
"......Natsume."
Natsume slowly raised her head, hearing Harutora call out. Her black hair slid down soundlessly in the flickering orange candlelight.
The butterfly shikigami seemed to be a simple shikigami manipulated by Natsume, or in other words...
"Your spiritual power recovered?"
"Yes. There should be no problems getting through tonight, though it hasn't recovered completely."
"So you mean you want to guard the altar?"
"............"
Natsume had no reply. That answer showed even more clearly her determination to go.
It was silent inside the room, though the sound of the rain outside was faintly audible. The room was permeated with an atmosphere of seclusion from the outside world.
The area seemed as if it was covered by a layer of tranquility, and inside this barrier, the passing of time was only showed by the swaying of the candlelight and the sound of the burning incense.
"......Harutora-kun, were you hurt? You look like you were injured..."
"Ah, I'm alright, I'm just like this because I ran over here."
Natsume looked surprised when she heard those words. She showed her shock, shaking her head and taking a towel placed by the side to give to Harutora. Harutora took the towel, infinitely grateful.
"......Sorry for having you return home alone in that kind of condition."
Harutora rubbed his head with the towel, apologizing to Natsume.
Natsume quickly spoke with a firm tone, as if reproaching him: "I know."
"The driver told me about the situation back then. When I woke up in the car, I was really scared...... I couldn't calm down after hearing the driver's explanation. I spoke to you in the cafe, so why did you have to come here?"
She seemed truly mad, her words barbed as usual.
Right now, Harutora was grateful from the bottom of his heart for Natsume's lecture. He had just listened to her in the cafe, but it felt abnormally long ago.
A bitter, self-deprecating feeling passed through his chest.
If he hadn't come here, Hokuto wouldn't have died, and the days that were now forever lost could have continued.
"......I'm really useless."
"............"
Harutora muttered powerlessly, and the angry Natsume inadvertently pursed her lips upon seeing that.
Then, her countenance relaxed slightly.
"Didn't you stay behind to learn who won between the 'Child Prodigy' and the Mystical Investigators? Judging by your appearance, it seems like it wasn't a good outcome."
"......Yeah......"
Harutora replied dully, sitting heavily on the floor.
He wasn't in the mood to look at Natsume, letting the towel on his head cover his face, and retelling the magic battle he had just witnessed.
The Mystical Investigators' loss. Suzuka summoning the 'Armored Juggernaut'. The contents of his and Suzuka's conversation, and the full story of how he had tried to persuade Suzuka.
Though he was hesitant, he still spoke of the event with Hokuto.
To avoid a long story, he spoke of everything he had witnessed truthfully.
As well as what had happened to one of his most important friends.
Natsume listened silently without interrupting Harutora's words.
The candle burned behind her back, and shadows fell across her face because she was backlit. Hazy shadows swayed on her pretty face, and her eyes shone with a mysterious radiance.
Natsume's look didn't change from the start, and she calmly listened to everything, nodding only when Harutora had finished speaking.
"......I see, she brought out an 'Armored Juggernaut'......"
"Do you know about that thing?"
"I only know of the name. She probably took the shikigami that was in custody for research purposes. It originally wasn't a shikigami that a single person could manipulate...... Worthy of the 'Child Prodigy'."
Natsume spoke softly, and her tone was unusually gentle, perhaps concerned about Harutora's feelings.
"Is there a way to defeat it?'
"I don’t know, all I know is that it would be extremely difficult."
"......Even so, you're going to perform your 'responsibility' as fully as possible?"
"......Right."
Natsume replied with a clear, brief tone, without a trace of hesitation.
The similarly-aged Natsume annoyed him because of this. Why would Natsume be so different from him? When they were small, Harutora had always taken the lead, but now she was already this strong.
Her responsibility as a member of the Tsuchimikado family. Her duty as the heir.
But, was that it?
Why Natsume was this strong, and why she firmly upheld her 'responsibility'.
Could it be because she was Yakou's......
...Tch.
Harutora closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head, flinging away his confusion.
He had never been someone to keep things inside him. He made his decision, pulling off the towel draped over his head and looking at Natsume. Natsume blinked in surprise at Harutora's sudden motions.
"W, What is it? Let me first say that whatever you say, you won't stop me from upholding my duty as the heir. This is my responsibility, since I'm a member of the Tsuchimikado family."
"......Is that it?"
"Huh? O, Of course, because the Taizan Fukun Ritual is a dangerous ceremony, and I can't allow......"
Natsume's voice became weaker and weaker under the pressure of Harutora's firm gaze.
"Natsume, you're this firm about your 'responsibility' because you're Yakou's reincarnation, right?"
Harutora asked, both eyes staring intently at Natsume.
"Ha......"
Natsume's reaction was intense.
Her wide, almond-shaped eyes blinked, and her momentary shock rapidly disappeared, her entire body showing a firm but not unaffected presence.
She straightened her back, a sincere look emerging on her face. Maybe she had always feared but long since known that she would be asked this question.
She looked straight back into Harutora's eyes, giving him an answer.
"......Harutora-kun, I don't know if I'm Yakou's reincarnation either."
Harutora nodded his head upon hearing Natsume's response.
Harutora was serious. Since his childhood friend had chosen to sincerely answer this presumptuous question, he had to show the same sincerity.
"You have no memories at all relating to Yakou?"
"Right. What's more, current magic can't prove whether Yakou was truly reincarnated or not, nor can it find out whether I am the reincarnation...... You already heard those rumors about me?"
Natsume checked. Harutora nodded, making a 'nn' sound.
"Actually, I only learned about that rumor today, so I'm not very clear on it."
"I'm not too clear on how many people know about it or how many people actually believe it either. I asked my father, but he refused to tell me. But, that rumor was already around by the time I was born."
"Around by the time you were born? Not spread after people learned about your amazing talent?"
"Right, my talent isn't much. Don't be mistaken, I consider my efforts extraordinary, and I'm a minor celebrity. Honestly, the rumor spread into an uproar because of this...... At least, from what I know, there are only rumors about me being Yakou's reincarnation."
"......I see...... So that's how it is."
Harutora muttered, replying ambiguously.
He had only learned of his childhood friend's secret now. Natsume wasn't simply a successor of the main family, the burden 'Yakou's reincarnation' had accompanied her from the day she was born.
He remembered the words he had just spoken to Suzuka. 'All of society will raise its voice to condemn your brother - not just the Onmyou Agency, and he will have to live on pitifully like that.' ...What pained him was, couldn't those words he had dissuaded Suzuka with be applied to Natsume as well?
"......Born in the Tsuchimikado main family, elected the family heir, 'maybe' Yakou's reincarnation - that is me. So I cannot let her go, as if I let her have what she desires, it would basically be denying my own existence and my position."
Natsume smiled emptily after saying this. She smiled as if letting down the burden from her shoulders, candidly and sincerely.
But, it was a self-mocking smile on her face.
"......You could call me a person without a 'self'. My position is complicated, and I have no will or desires of my own, and maybe I am a soulless form like a shikigami."
"Natsume......"
The empty smile on his childhood friend's face deeply pricked Harutora's heart.
A shikigami with no soul, only a form. Those words called forth Hokuto's image into Harutora's brain.
Hokuto was a shikigami. But he had never believed Hokuto didn't have a soul.
On the other hand, Natsume was a person, but believed she didn't have a soul.
A person like a shikigami, a shikigami like a person.
However--
"I really don't get it."
"......Huh?"
Natsume trembled in surprise - because Harutora's gaze was fiercely staring at her.
"I really don't get it, is there that big of a difference between shikigami and humans? Hokuto that I mentioned just now actually was a shikigami. Even so, Hokuto is Hokuto. You're the same, right, Natsume? You are yourself. Or are you saying that all this time that I've known you for is a lie? It's all imaginary?"
"H, Harutora-kun......"
Harutora got angry at the tongue-tied Natsume - "No." He continued speaking:
"If everything was a lie, then whatever, since I'm an idiot and I don't understand what's true and what's a lie - More importantly, real or fake, fake or real, isn't the most important part that you exist, whether you're real or fake?"
Harutora put effort into speaking his true thoughts, and half of those words were spoken to himself.
When he had ran here a doubt had endlessly tormented him. He had finally chosen to look at that doubt, facing the problem directly, thinking carefully, and accepting the answer that he got.
Before he realized it, he himself was teary-eyed.
Since Hokuto had disappeared, this was the first time he had cried. Something burning spilled out of his frozen body, slipping down his cheek.
"Harutora-kun......"
Even if Natsume didn't know what was wrong, her gaze still pointed firmly at Harutora.
She hadn't averted her gaze out of worry for Harutora's feelings. She focused on looking at her confused, hesitant, stumbling-but-moving-forward childhood friend as if she were telling herself she couldn't avert her eyes.
Harutora had made this girl worry. He forced himself to smile, wiping his tears.
"I, In any case, how can you say you don't have a 'self'? You're stubborn and you always get mad, and you're always lecturing - are you going to deny that because of your position? Then you'd be lying, and how much can you lie to yourself?"
"I, I'm not......!"
Natsume opened her mouth to deny it. Her cheeks were flushed, but she didn't strongly refute it, so it seemed that she actually had some self-awareness.
Harutora grinned without hiding it, feeling this was a bit humorous. Natsume, whose gaze crossed with his, was also infected by his grin, showing a light smile.
He noticed that the distance between him and Natsume had shortened.
When the two had played together - She had been a little girl always following Harutora around, listening to his every word.
After understanding many things, that little girl from before and the girl in front of him overlapped in Harutora's mind, connecting. The past and the present merged into one, and the originally forgotten childhood friend now became clearer than ever to his eyes.
"......But, I have something I have to say. Born in the Tsuchimikado main family, elected the next heir, maybe Yakou's reincarnation - those aren't all of you, but rather those are a part of you. You're troubled by not having a self, stubborn, always getting mad, always lecturing...... Those are all you, and there are definitely many other parts that I don't know, and they will continue to increase in the future. The complete Natsume is only made by adding all those parts together."
Harutora spoke, nodding his head at Natsume.
Natsume stared unblinkingly, sincerely making a soft noise: "Nn......"
Harutora originally hadn't known that Hokuto was a shikigami, but even if he knew her true identity, the former Hokuto wouldn't just disappear like that.
Natsume was the same. Even if he knew the rumors about her, the irritable and headstrong childhood friend Natsume wouldn't just vanish. Also, wasn't Natsume in front of him right now?
The incense made a subtle noise in the candlelight.
Harutora exhaled deeply.
He closed his eyes, straightened his back, and stood tall.
"Natsume, I have something to ask of you."
Harutora's tone was serious, and Natsume went on alert, her face becoming tense again.
"......It's no use even if you stop me, I'll still go to the altar, because this is 'me'."
"I get that, I won't stop you. That's not what I want to ask of you."
"I, I also won't permit you to come with me to the altar, didn't you fail to persuade her? I'm thankful that you're this worried about me, but to bring you--"
"Natsume."
Harutora interrupted Natsume's apologetic tone, saying his request.
"Let me become your shikigami."
Natsume was shocked speechless.
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