Tantei wa Mou, Shindeiru - Volume 2 - Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

Better take a bath after a hijacking (Mixed Bath)

"I refuse. Who wants to be your assistant anyway?"

I was at my own shabby apartment, in the bathroom.

I closed my eyes to prevent the shampoo from entering my eyes, and rejected the request that was repeated many times, as though it’s a joke.

"Eh, what? I can’t hear you."

The person involved however ignored all my complaints. It seemed she’s not going to give up until I nodded and agreed.

"Don’t act like you’re deaf here."

I raised my voice, and showed my displeasure at the person beyond the bathroom door. My deep voice echoed in this cramped bathroom.

"Well well, calm down a bit. You finally get to bathe after all."

"Since you know that, whose fault is it that I can’t calm down?"

I washed off the shampoo, and slipped myself into the cramped bathtub.

"Shall I scrub your back?"

"No need"

"I was thinking of entering with a bath towel."

"…No need"

"That is quite the understandable pause"

…Dammit, this woman just set a trap on a guy undergoing puberty.

But anyway, more importantly.

"Why are you at my house??Siesta"

I said to the girl standing in the changing area.

Codename??Siesta.

A girl of unknown nationality with silvery white hair and blue eyes.

A week ago, I met her, who professed herself as the ?famous detective? on a passenger flight ten thousand meters in the air, and we managed to resolve a certain incident. It seemed to me though that the incident had not ended??

"Listen up Siesta, don’t barge into another person’s house. And don’t suggest that we bath together."

"But you wouldn’t listen to what I have to say."

Yep, this is it.

The hijacking incident was resolved, and after that, who knew what Siesta was thinking when she suddenly made an unreasonable request “Please accompany me around the world as my assistant”.

Of course, I immediately rejected this ridiculous suggestion…but Siesta appeared to be motivated, and the same conversation happened over the past week.

"You’re really stubborn. It’s not easy to intrude into your house, you know??"

"Eh, why are you making it sound impressive? Is it my fault now?"

"I’m a Hero of Justice after all. Naturally, you who oppose me are certainly in the wrong."

How’s it possible to have a Hero of Justice making such unreasonable claims?

"Anyway, I did remember locking the door though?”

"Ahh, about that, I opened it with a master key. It’s one of my ?seven tools?, and there’s no lock it can’t open."

"Did you just easily intrude into my place illegally?"

"Hm, it’s a pity that you have this attitude."

"It’s better than you invading other people’s privacy."

I thought my heart stopped when someone just called out to me outside the bathroom door, you know?

"Shall I assume that you agree to let me scrub your back?"

"Don’t seize this opportunity to sneak into the bath."

One week since we met, and we’re on such familiar terms. I worry for my future….

"So why do you hate the idea of being my assistant?"

Siesta regrouped herself, and asked me from beyond the thin door. Seriously, she’s not giving up?

"I just want to be normal."

I said while washing my face with bathwater in the cramped bathtub.

"I said it before, didn’t I? I always suffered because of this ?nature of getting involved in trouble?. That’s why my dream is to have a peaceful, relaxed life."

"So you’re saying that you can’t have that when you’re with me?"

"Well, that just happened."

I remembered the battle against the ?Android? ten thousand meters in the air.

A simple hijacking would be fine. No, that’s not fine either, but at this point, I wouldn’t say anything more. I couldn’t handle any more of that though. If I were to get involved in such things, a few lives alone wouldn’t be enough.

"But this is a job only I can fulfill."

Siesta then said with a harsher tone compared to before.

"So what’s the point of involving me in something only you can do?"

"Well…ah, yes."

"Are you going to say what you just thought of?"

"Actually, it’s love at first sight."

"You never recognized my face when we first met though?"

"Your face is rather forgettable if I hadn’t seen it again in two days. It’s perfect for undercover work."

" Don’t berate others while making it sound like praise. And don’t just shove the job of an assistant onto me."

"…Are you really unwilling to be my assistant?"

Siesta’s tone dropped immediately.

Didn’t I say so already? Why the little disappointment?

Goodness, we couldn’t continue with the same conversation. It’s all because Siesta wouldn’t say the truth. She wanted to fulfill her wish, but her words weren’t convincing, and this wasn’t going anywhere.

The Hijacking was resolved, or actually, it was Siesta who resolved it with overwhelming force. I really worried about the future.

"So, if we’re negotiating, suggest to me how it benefits me."

That’s why I gave Siesta a natural suggestion.

…Don’t be mistaken though? I just wanted to get her to negotiate with conditions, and then refuse her. I didn’t want to drag my feet over this.

"Fufu, you’re unexpectedly kind."

"Don’t lavish so much praise on your own, and don’t read too much into this."

"Anyway, I just ordered some pizza. That is fine, no?"

"Don’t capitalize on other people’s kindness and cancel it right now!"

"My assumption is that a year or so later, we shall get along very well."

"That’s not getting along well at all! Why am I the only one worried here!"

It’s tiring. It ’s really tiring dealing with Siesta…even if she could entice me with something, it’s impossible for me to be her assistant after all…

"Anyway, let us talk."

"No, I’m not doing that. You’re the one who should say what’s in it for me, right?"

But Siesta continued as though she had seen through everything,

"Is there something frustrating you?"

That’s what she asked beyond the bathroom door.

"The benefit I am offering is that I can solve this trouble of yours."

"So if you solve my trouble, I’ll have to be your assistant?"

"I suppose."

Anyway, how did she figure out that I was troubled? I guess even if I asked her, Siesta wasn’t going to answer me. She’s a famous detective who’s only focused on the outcome.

"…Actually, there’s some trouble in the middle school I'm attending."

So I stood up from the bathtub,

"There are a lot of cases of toilet Hanako-sans occurring in our school."

I wiped my body with a towel, and started to describe one of the seven mysteries to this famous detective.

"I see. I suppose there’s a need to hear you out while eating pizza."

"…Ahh, eat that pizza, and close that door now."

Pizza, cola, foreign drama, and sometimes, Toilet Bound Hanako-san

Anyone would have heard of the seven mysteries of a certain school, Toilet Bound Hanako-san.

The gist was that??at 3am in the morning, third floor, third girls cubicle, if one was to knock on it thrice, a girl in a red suspender skirt would appear to drag someone into the toilet bowl...so they say. It’s usually an urban rumor that’s not noteworthy at all. But??

"Is your school a little different?"

I got up from the bath, went to the living room, and found Siesta seated in the cramped Japanese room with six tatamis, her cheeks stuffed with pizza. Even though I asked her the question, she was staring at the little TV screen with the foreign drama being played on it. I didn’t know when she got changed into my indoor T-shirt, completely relaxed.

"Don’t watch a foreign drama in a male acquaintance’s house, wearing that acquaintance’s shirt while eating pizza. What, are you a cohabiting girlfriend or something?"

"Eh, that is not the case though?"

"We’re not, that’s why I’m complaining."

I had a towel on my head, sat close to Siesta, and reached for the pizza..

"Ah, the one with cheese is mine. Don’t eat that."

"It’s unreasonable to call dibs like that, right?"

"The ones with pickles are for you."

"Don’t leave the leftovers to me. Apologize to all the pickle lovers in the country."

"I think it is good that you do eat them even though you say so. Continue to work hard."

"What do you mean, ‘continue to work hard’? Don’t be prompting me to grow up or something. Whose eyes are those anyway?"

Uh oh, we couldn’t talk at all. Anyway, what were we supposed to talk about?

"About Hanako, no?"

"Ahh, yes…add a ‘san’ at the back though. Don’t address Hanako-san like it’s a friend."

"So? Did that Hanako-san at your middle school multiply?"

Siesta asked as she reached for another pizza..

"Ahh. They say the students there who encountered Hanako-san ended up becoming Hanako-sans themselves."

"Hmm, like how people bitten by zombies become zombies themselves."

"Yeah, basically a rumor straight out of a B movie."

"But if it's just a rumor, you wouldn't be having this conversation now."

…Well, that's the case. I got no choice but to admit this fact.

"Right now, there's a sudden increase in the number of track team students who stopped attending school. The teachers wouldn't give the details…some of the students aren't at home either."

There was one such person in my class, and about twenty students who took absence from class. Some of them were deemed to be runaway kids, and it seemed the police were mobilized.

"Was there any disunity in the track and field team?"

"Who knows? Rumors had it that there wasn't any trouble between the members."

"I see…it appears to be some external reason. My guess is that there was a large chain reaction caused by an organization."

Siesta showed a completely serious look as she chowed down the pizza.

"But in your school, the reason is rumored to be because of Hanako-san. They assumed that the students were all dragged away by Hanako-san."

"Yeah, there’s a spike in students who ran away from home too. That’s why there’s a guess of whether there’s an increase in Hanako-sans."

That’s the reason for the rumor that ‘there are many appearances of Hanako-sans’ in the school.

"You believe that too?"

"No "

I snorted as I drank the cola to swallow the pizza with pickles.

"You certainly look all-knowing, The Middle School Kid."

"Don’t make it sound so embarrassing to me.."

Seemed like there’s no way I could ever outtalk this detective in my lifetime.

"…Speaking of which, skipping school and missing, huh?"

Siesta suddenly said so while staring at the TV. There’s a foreign drama set in a school airing, and in this scene, all the classmates showed up at the place of a student who hadn’t been attending school, welcoming him back. Wouldn’t that have the opposite effect on the kid though?

"You’re a kind person."

Siesta turned around, saying so to me..

"I’ll ask for pizza money later though?"

"I’m not talking about that."

But I am not paying for pizza, so Siesta chimed. No u, pay up .

"Of course, I believe those students who didn’t appear at school again aren’t your friends, no? You’re so worried about them though, and want to solve this too."

"Don’t make it sound like it’s expected for me not to have any friends."

"Maybe it is because of the ‘nature of getting into trouble’ you speak of. At the same time, you do have ‘the nature of being helpful’."

…I don’t want these DNAs though. But well,

"Actually I just want to protect the peaceful daily life, as far as my eyes can see."

This was the life I always had after all, I looked around the house, and gave a wry smile .

"My parents were gone before I knew, so I went through various houses and facilities, living till this day, alone. Of course I would hope for a peaceful, ordinary, stable environment, right?"

Well, I knew that given my cursed nature, there’s no way I could easily fulfill this wish. It’s indisputable however that I wanted to solve all the problems to the best I could, praying for ordinary days to come.

"I see, so that’s your??"

Siesta seemed to have thought of something, and put her fingertips at her chin.

"Hm, I understand everything."

"It’s scary how you figured out everything from the conversation just now."

"Of course, you’d feel lonely when you have no family and friends."

"Did I say that I don’t have friends? Mind not deducing on your own like that?"

There weren’t many, and I didn’t remember when was the last time I talked to my classmate.

"Let’s go there on the weekend."

Siesta pointed at the TV monitor showing the heroine girl bringing the truant boy to the school festival.

"…No, what about Hanako-san?"

Opening scene, youth romcom chapter

"I haven’t given up on that horror mystery development though."

A few students avoided a suspicious middle school boy who muttered to himself as he entered through the school gates.

Days later, it was Saturday. I waited for a certain person at the gates of my middle school. There was still a crowd early in the morning, but that’s because of the culture festival of this school…probably.

But it’s weird. I didn’t have any memory of preparing for the cultural festival. Speaking of which, shouldn’t everyone work together to prepare what we should prepare, like before? Were they done while there’s trouble in school and people playing truant? Why didn’t anyone tell me?

"Haa."

I sighed at the prospect of this somewhat grey school life,

"Kept you waiting."

I heard a girl’s voice from behind. It seemed the person I was waiting for had arrived. I was about to grumble that she was late, so I turned around.

"You’re late even though you’re the one who called me out…"

I froze without thinking.

No, it’s not because an unexpected person showed up. Standing before me was definitely the girl who promised to meet up, no issues. The only question was??

"Siesta, what’s with that getup…"

Entering my eyes was a dazzling white sailor uniform. The skirt’s a little short, and the legs were exposed till a part above the knees. She had a school bag slung over her shoulders, and clearly looked like a student from our school…there’s a huge contrast from the sight of her usual slick one piece dress, and the fact that the school uniform really suited her left me??

"? Why did you suddenly turn aside?"

Siesta leaned over to stare at my face.

"…No, it’s nothing. Just a little, breathing issue?"

"Are you suffering? You fine?"

It’s fine. It’s fine. Don’t bring your face so close to me. Please don’t cling onto my back.

"…Why are you wearing our school uniform?"

I quickly calmed down, narrowed my eyes at Siesta, and asked.

I had a good look, and noticed a red ribbon on her silvery-white short hair, like she’s a Katyusha. It’s true that if I wasn’t careful, I might end up blurting that she’s cute or something like that. She’s so cute…

"Your eyes look a lot unfriendlier compared to before."

Don’t mind me. I need a lot of courage to see you in sailor uniform.

In other words, I couldn’t calm down completely at all.

Actually, it’s not exactly because I was reacting too much. The passers-by seemed to slow down a little once they noticed Siesta.

A pretty girl with silvery white hair and blue eyes, dressed in a school uniform. I get that you guys want to take a photo, but each shot costs two hundred million yen.

"It is a little different from my usual attire, so I put on the ribbon too. How is it?"

"I already penned my thoughts through an entire page."

"Eh, since when? Why didn’t I hear that?"

"…More importantly."

"Ah, the reason for the uniform?"

So Siesta said, and spun once. The skirt fluttered, and the thighs hidden underneath flashed by. I couldn’t help but look around, and so she leaned forward slightly, looking up at me,

"Won’t it be interesting to have a date in uniforms at the cultural festival?"

She gave me a smile worth a hundred million points.

"…So do I need a contract to be an assistant or something? Ah, a stamp, maybe…"

"Too early, too early. It might be weird for me to say so, but there’s always an order to things. We’ll have to wait till later to convince you, so please wait a moment."

Inside the school were our students, their guardians, and students from other schools. The crowds flocked by, and each classroom had mockup stalls selling stuff like crepes and takoyaki.

"Now where shall we begin?"

Siesta asked as she looked down at a student in a bunny costume on the corridor, passing a pamphlet around.

The pamphlet listed stalls like a usual festival, and also plans like a planetarium or haunted houses. The haunted house in particular seemed to be some grand plan using the floors of the abandoned school building, something worth looking forward to.

"This looks like a must."

"Yeah, but we need to check our schedule"

According to the pamphlet, there’s a fifteen minute rest period after every hour. It’s probably to get the staff sufficient rest time.

"So if it’s not operating hours, they won’t be open?"

Siesta stated this obvious statement as she stared at the bunny costume. The bunny costume tilted its head hard, giving the ‘this is obvious, right?’ look. It certainly looked professional, being all silent, trying to play its role. Well, that image’s gone when it had running shoes under the costume, probably for convenience…

"Oy Siesta. It’s written on there. 15 minutes break."

"But I’m thinking of the most appropriate path now."

"Right now?"

"It doesn’t seem like we can visit the old school building during the timing listed on this pamphlet."

I see, so it seemed that Siesta had other places she wanted to visit on her planned schedule.

"Now then, shall we not fill our stomachs first?"

"That’s your objective?"

"A one hour eating contest challenge, or something?"

"That won’t be in a middle school culture festival…"

Therefore, so Siesta said with a smile before she went off.,

"It’s not part of the schedule, but please do.."

She then made this unreasonable request towards the student dressed in the suit.

"Ah, the crepes shop."

Siesta then diverted her attention and pointed at the shop before her, walking over.

"Say Siesta, you can’t be unreasonable to others aside from me."

I sighed as I gave crepe, and then I bought banana crepes from that shop.

"……? You bought it even though I did not say anything."

Siesta gave me a confused look, but when I handed over the crepes, she started munching with that little mouth of hers.

"Weren’t you angry about me ordering pizza the last time? What is going on now?"

"The situation’s always in flux."

"Eh, did you have a change of heart in such a short time?"

Ack, I had to explain properly? Alright.

While Siesta showed an incredulous look, I said??

"I think the culture festival’s more important than the Toilet Bound Hanako-san who might not be around."

Horror mystery? That’s not trendy at all, nope. The trendy things now are??youth romantic comedies..

That’s what I said with the most serious look I had given in my life.

"Haaa, there is no way you and I can date, so I cannot say if this can be summarized as a romcom."

But why was Siesta, the starter of it all, reacting so mildly compared to how agitated I was…?

"Hm?"

We’re in the middle of the crowd, but I had a feeling there was silence around us. We then exchanged looks, and tilted our heads.

Hahah, I see. I see. I see.

"Eh, what? Did you think just because this is a date, I am your girlfriend, or so?"

Nope, not at all? Not even a millimeter of thought. Not from me. Nope, didn’t think about you….

"Are you a fool?"

"…Can we take it that what happened before never happened?"

If I were to see this scene a few years later, it’s definitely going to be embarrassing. I was just a second year in middle school, so please be magnanimous towards me…no actually, it’s just me thinking too much.

"But well, you are easy to get along with now."

Siesta finished off the remaining crepes in my hand,

"Next, let us buy some takoyaki."

She held my right hand, and led me through the crowd.

"…This distance is going to cause so many misunderstandings.."

"What are you saying?"

"I’m saying, don’t barge in while someone else is bathing."

"The only time I do is when you’re bathing."

"Don’t give me that ‘I’ll only show such a face to you’ look to bluff me."

At this moment, even an atheist will pray to god

"That's unreasonable."

I was alone, in a dark room, cupping my head…no, my belly. The pain came in waves, and I endured this suffering that lasted for more than ten minutes, wiping the sweat off my forehead.

"Damnit, it’s all your fault??Siesta."

I grumbled at Siesta, who was probably eating takoyaki somewhere else.

Simply put, it’s as I said, I was in a toilet cubicle alone, fighting a stomach ache.

The reason is obviously because I ate too much, because I stupidly bought a bunch of stuff to eat like an idiot while accompanying Siesta, and she ignored my request to stop and rest when she dragged me to that haunted house in the old school building. There’s where I had that stomachache.

But there’s another reason why I was lamenting about this. This was the toilet inside the haunted house??and the cubicle I was in was the rumored third floor of the old school building, the third girls toilet.

…No wait, don’t retort early. It’s not the case. It’s now for staff, unisex. This so happened to be the only one opened. I had to use it as it’s an emergency. It’s definitely not because I slipped into the girls toilet, you know?

But of course, the toilet’s dim, and I could hear a strange BGM for a while. I really wanted to leave as soon as possible…but my stomach’s just rumbling with warning sounds, telling me to sit on it obediently. Anyway, it’s not hyperbole for me to say this,

"I wanna die."

That’s the situation.

I was affected by the gloomy atmosphere around me. The rumors just appeared in my mind even though I didn’t want to.

"But seriously, I’m a middle school kid. How can I be scared of monsters now?”

"Who are you talking to?"

"…!"

I heard a voice from above me, one that wasn’t mine, and I froze still…but I remembered hearing the voice of this girl before.

"You aren’t satisfied with peeping on me in the bath? Now you’re looking in the toilet??Siesta?"

I looked up, and saw Siesta, who had climbed up the cubicle door and looked down at me. She should be headed for the exit just now, but she returned? I sighed, and pulled up my pants. It seemed she didn’t see what she shouldn’t have, thanks to the dim light..

"You were late, so I was worried…oho."

"What oho? Why drop in?”

"You want me to remain on top?”

"I’m telling you to land and wait outside."

Why slip into this cubicle instead?

"Just wanted to investigate something…hm, found it."

Siesta crouched down, and picked up something from behind the toilet bowl. It seemed to be some plastic bag scrap.

"What do you think this is?”

"I guess…a bag containing flu medicine? Like, they came here to take drugs after food?"

"I’m starting to pity you for thinking this. Is the peaceful daily life you want to protect just the matter of eating your bento alone in the toilet or somethin?"

"As I said, my parents are MIA, so nobody cooked for me. I can only have some sweet buns in the toilet for lunch."

"You really are pitiful. How about I make a bento for you once in a while?"

Siesta simply said so, and then,

"Oho."

She reached her hands under her skirt, and was about to pull something down with her fingertips.

"Wait a sec Siesta! You can see me now, right!? Right!? Are you still going to do that!?"

"Eh, I think you have quite the strange fetish of making a girl hold in her bladder."

"I didn’t say that…I didn’t say that at all…"

"I shall pick my flowers here. Do get out.."

"Eh, you’re leaving me alone out there in this terrifying environment?"

"Who was the one who muttered ‘but seriously, I’m a middle school kid. How can I be scared of monsters now?’ and nodded away? And your lower body is naked."

"Since you saw it, you should have reacted right from the beginning!"

That’s weird. It’s supposed to be a youth romantic comedy at a culture festival, but why are we having a manzai routine in the toilet of a haunted house…no wait, if we just look at the keywords, haunted house and manzai, it really seemed like we’re enjoying ourselves at the culture festival…

So I sighed, and then.

"Quiet."

Siesta shushed me by covering my mouth.

Feeling curious, I pricked my ears??kon kon kon,

Someone’s knocking on the cubicle door, trying to get in.

No way, so I thought. We’re on the third floor of the old school building, the third cubicle of the girls toilet. It’s not 3am, but there were enough conditions for us to think of that rumor.

And then??kon kon kon,

The door was knocked again. Siesta and I nodded in agreement, gently held the hand, and the moment we opened the door,

"……!……Hm?"

Outside the door was a girl in a red suspender skirt--nope, it’s a pink bunny suit.

"I remember you were distributing pamphlets…"

No, was that a panda instead? I saw a few students wearing animal costumes, walking around school, distributing pamphlets or raising signboards..

But why did the bunny show up here?

Ah, a staff member of this haunted house? Did it show up because it’s worried that we stayed in here for too long?

In that case, I had to think of an excuse to explain why a guy and a girl were in a cubicle together??

"You’re not getting away."

I quickly realized there was no time and reason to think of an excuse.

Before I knew it, the bunny suit turned to run away??and Siesta pointed her gun at that back.

"Oy, Siesta…?"

I was in complete disbelief, and Siesta quickly gave chase, saying,

"That bunny is the Toilet Bound Hanako-san"

The White Clothes and the Flying Bride

"Hurry."

Siesta prompted, and for some ridiculous reason, I could only give chase after the bunny suit. There wasn’t much distance between us, so I thought I could catch up easily.

"Didn’t think it would be that fast though…"

Speaking of which, I remembered the running shoes that didn’t suit that outfit. Did it expect to be chased or something?

"Woah."

At the same time, I was tripped over by something. I checked with the cellphone light…and found a fake head. Yep, we’re running through the floor of the haunted house. It’s dark out here, and it’s like a maze, which made it more difficult to move than we thought..

"Oh dear, another trick to bluff kids."

I sighed, and stood up.

"Say, what do you mean by, that suit’s the Hanako-san?"

"I’ll explain later. Let us hurry now."

"I really don’t have the motivation to give chase if I don’t understand the reason."

"I said there is no time. And why is your right hand grabbing onto my left?"

Uh, she found out? I thought she wouldn’t notice if I played down.

"What, you like me or something?"

"Are you a fool?"

"Woah, now that infuriates me."

"Of course I just grabbed you out of instinct because I was scared by the head that fell, alright?"

"Why do you look so proud? You are now being more unreasonable than me?"

"Haha, I win."

We left the haunted house while continuing our nonsense. We went through the long corridor linking the new and old buildings, back to the areas of the stalls…but.

"This is…"

Entering our sights were a few bunny dolls on the corridor, passing pamphlets and balloons. ON first glance, it’s impossible to tell which one we were chasing..

"Hiding in the forests…mogu mogu."

"Ahh, that’s a good way of saying it, but I think I heard some onomatopoeia that doesn’t seem to fit."

I looked next to Siesta, and found her eating Jaga Bata.

"Is this the time to buy food? You’re the reason why we’re having this chase. Show me some tension already."

"I can’t move if I don’t replenish my energy. This one costs 300 yen."

"Didn’t you stuff yourself with food? And don’t just get me to pay like it’s natural."

"I’ll give you a bite then. Now we’re even."

"What do you mean, even? Oy, isn’t that the one?"

I saw a bunny suit looking towards us from a window afar, on the opposite end of this horseshoe shaped building. It seemed to have noticed my stare, and hurried off..

"Thought it wouldn’t be spotted if it played dumb? Alright, let’s go catch up.."

"Looks like you got the motivation at the very end. Not bad, keep going."

"Enough with the infuriating words. And don’t start this assistant grooming project on your own."

We continued our little charade, started running again, and then,

"We're from the costume club! Having a free costume tryout experience here!"

A female student suddenly touted around.

If we had time, I wanted to see Siesta in a maid outfit and cat ears, but unfortunately, we just didn’t have the time for it.

"For two, please."

And it happened.

"No, we shouldn’t be doing this! We’ll let him get away!"

I grabbed Siesta by the sleeve while she prepared to enter the classroom, as though she was sucked in.

"What, this is part of the plan too. Since the enemy is mixed in the dolls, we too shall get into cosplay as a tactic instead."

"You sure this can go well? If you’re dressed as a maid with cat ears, that will get attention."

"Well well, it’s fine…but why specify that I am a maid with cat ears? I will not wear that, you know?"

We quickly entered a classroom, received a bag containing clothes, and entered simple changing rooms that were partitioned. I stood behind the curtain alone, and pulled out the costume from the bag.

"…This is?"

But to be honest, I really wasn’t enthusiastic about wearing the clothes in this bag…actually, it would be a little embarrassing for a middle school kid to wear these clothes. But whatever, since we’re disguising ourselves, I didn’t have a choice. I hesitated, got changed, made up my mind, and pulled the curtain aside.

"Nobody’s looking?"

And I already prepared myself. Those guys.

As for where the guys of the costume club were, they’re at the next changing room. I could hear some perfected cheers for some reason. Of course, the one there was the person who entered alongside me.

"Kept you waiting."

The curtain was quickly pulled aside, and Siesta, wearing a pure white wedding dress, appeared before me.

"How is it?"

The beaming Siesta tilted her head.

In response,

"Ah, ahh, well…it suits you, I guess?"

I turned my face aside, and barely eked out these words.

"…Never thought you would give such an honest appraisal.."

"…Well, it’s pointless to lie here.."

"But this too suits you…this tuxedo."

Siesta pointed at the tuxedo I was wearing.

"I-is that so?"

"Yes…"

I felt a little numb and ticklish, and we turned our faces aside in unison.

"If you’re fine with this, we’ll take photos!!"

The girl from the costume club readied her camera.

"Well, shall we?"

"A rare chance after all, I guess?"

And then we turned to look at each other in unison, accepting that suggestion.

"Now then, we’re starting! Here, cheese!"

Snap.

We didn’t show any peace signs, partly because of our attires, and the only thing taken was a photo of Siesta and me next to each other. We had them send it to our phones.

"Quite the nice memory."

Siesta looked bashful, and I too showed a faint smile.

Ahh, it’s really a good memory??

"??NOT!!"

I screamed without a second thought.

"Aren’t we supposed to chase after the bunny!?"

Why were we so enthusiastic about cosplay? We completely forgot our initial objective…

"We accidentally got involved in a romcom. Let’s hurry."

Siesta quickly reverted back to her old self, and ran out in the wedding dress.

"Oy!……Ah dammit, we’ll return the clothes later!"

I called out to the dumbfounded club members, and for the time being, gave chase after Siesta.

"This really isn’t inconvenient to move in."

"You’re definitely the only one who’ll like to play tag in this."

A couple in wedding dress and tuxedo running down the hall. Everyone took out their phones, probably thinking it’s some cosplay event or something. It’s definitely a black history if it gets uploaded onto SNS.

"Hey."

But Siesta showed a happy smile, as though she wanted to cast aside all these worries,

"This is fun, assistant"

It’s like we’re enjoying our youth, and she smiled at me.

"Who’s your assistant?"

"Ah, was it obvious?"

Obvious? Not! And don’t revert back to your old self. Goodness.

"Assistant, over there."

Siesta suddenly pointed at the window, and over there was,

"It got there, huh?"

The bunny suit was cutting its way through the crowd in the courtyard..

"Quite the honest culprit to be running around in that suit."

"Don’t think it can be removed alone."

"Such a pitiful one."

I guess the guy’s all sweaty, running at full sprint in this weather, in such clothes.

"Let’s hurry and capture the culprit."

Saying that, Siesta opened the window.

"…Wait a sec, why do I have a bad feeling about this? Are you actually going to jump off from here?"

"Hm, no."

I see, so that’s not it. I’m saved.

"It won’t be me alone. You’re coming along too."

"Huh?"

"It’s fine. I’m wearing shoes now. It is one of the ?seven tools? I mentioned beforehand??"

Siesta immediately cradled me once she said so, and put her foot onto the windowsill,

"??They can fly."

On that day, there was footage of a boy in tuxedo carried by a girl in a wedding dress, flying in the air, and that was really popular on SNS..

And so begins the start of a dazzling adventure.

"So basically, that ‘bunny’ and the ‘Toilet Bound Hanako-san’ are the same person?"

The next day, we were at a cafe.

Siesta and I started chatting about the truth to this matter..

"Yes. This is the plastic bag containing the drugs the truant students used."

Siesta took a sip of tea, took out a transparent bag from beneath her hem, and put it on the table. It’s the thing she picked up yesterday from the girls toilet, third floor of the old school building.

"It is a certain stimulant of sorts. After consuming it, the user will be in a state of euphoria, with increased concentration. I suppose in this school, it started spreading amongst the students of the track team."

"I didn’t know about this at all…so the students absent from school used such drugs?"

"Hm, and besides those effects, I suppose there are a lot of potent side effects. It seemed there were many cases of memory loss. I think it’ll take a long time for complete recovery."

"I see…"

But another way of looking at it, it’s possible to be cured as long as there was proper treatment. That should be good news, at least.

"So the thing about the ‘Hanako-sans’ multiplying is…"

"I think it’s because of the heavy addiction. They too became sellers to earn money for the drugs…and so the number of ‘Hanako-sans’ multiplied exponentially, I think."

This illegal drug could only be bought from the third cubicle of the girls toilet, in the third floor of the old school building. This ‘Toilet Bound Hanako-san’ appeared to be some kind of euphemism referring to this secret deal. Of course, only a few students knew the true meaning of it, and the other objective is to disguise their crime as a school rumor..

"In fact, that illegal drug was made from the ‘pollen’ of a certain plant."

"So that’s why it’s called ’ Hanako-san ’? That’s a stupid joke."

But there were many victims caused by this unfunny joke..

And I didn’t realize the situation at all. I boldly proclaimed that I wanted to live through every day peacefully, but I didn’t realize that peaceful daily life was tainted by the flower poison.

"But ‘Hanako-san’ only appears at 3am, right? Why did it show up in the day, at the culture festival."

"It showed that they’re that anxious. Those girls wanted to seize the chance to spread the drug before their rivals."

"I see. So that ‘bunny’ was one of them too."

The ‘Hanako-sans’ were ashamed that they obtained illegal drugs, and weren’t willing to show their appearances. However, they felt that if it was the crowded culture festival…they could hide themselves in bunny suits, and decided to act there.

"Siesta, you knew from the beginning that the ‘bunny’ was weird?"

"Yes. The bunny had running shoes on, and basically showed her true identity."

I see. Many of the ‘Hanako-sans’ were from the track team, so once Siesta noticed that ‘bunny’, she immediately noticed that was the one member who sold the drugs. The running shoes to be used for escaping became the anchor pulling her down.

"So you used the code to contact the ‘bunny’, and acted as a customer?"

In hindsight, when Siesta received the pamphlet, she was insistent on the time. She wasn’t referring to the rest time, but at the drug deal at 3am in the morning. The ‘bunny’ obediently came to the scene, saw Siesta wield the gun, realized it was a trap, and ran off.

"A first rate detective will solve the case before it happens."

I heard that line somewhere before.

Siesta closed an eye elegantly, and drank her tea..

"Well, it’s not a complicated case for you, right?"

Siesta was a famous detective who usually fought the ?Androids?, so a drug sale was probably an interlude before her breakfast…or rather, her nap.

"But the ‘flower’ used this time appears to be related to that organization."

"That organization, as in?"

Siesta nodded silently, confirming so

The secret organization ?SPES? ??yes, if we’re talking drugs, there should be a boss…a mastermind. Those guys spread their shadows around me without me knowing.

"And so?"

Siesta put her cup on the saucer, and looked towards me.

"What do you plan to do?"

The blue stare caught onto me.

I knew very well what she meant.

She’s asking if I was prepared. Was I going to jump out of this cooled warm water, and into the days of war. Those eyes were telling me so.

If that’s the case.

"Siesta"

I asked at the very end.

"If I become your assistant, what’s in it for me? What benefit can you give me?"

That was the start of the conversation I suggested.

But I knew that it’s pointless to ask this question.

Yeah. Actually, I knew.

I knew why you’re so insistent on me, why I had to be your assistant; it’s all because of my nature of ‘getting involved in trouble easily’. As long as it remained, any incident, any trouble would come towards me automatically, like they grew legs.

I was a necessary talent to be hired if Siesta wanted to pursue this matter…seeking ?SPES?. The famous detective didn’t want an assistant, she wanted an incident.

Thus, Siesta wasn’t focused on me. The benefit she could create for me was only something she could hastily create. I understood that…and prepared to reject her when I raised this mean question to her.

Siesta closed her eyes tightly,

"I’ll protect you."

And then she opened her eyes, saying with a gentle smile.

"Even with that nature of yours, even when you get involved in any incident or trouble, I shall step up and protect you."

So,

"You??be my assistant."

Siesta reached her left hand beyond the table, saying so.

"…What’s with this sweet talk to bluff me."

I couldn’t possibly accept this shoddy proposal??

"Well, since you said so, it’s not like I can’t accept it."

And before I knew it, I ended up holding that hand.

Why? How would I know? I wanted to ask that too.

But why exactly. I could imagine that scene…the sight of myself flying in the air, dressed as though I was ten years older. I couldn’t get rid of it..

"This is the first time I’ve met such an obedient tsundere of a male."

"Don’t add elements to your own assistant."

"And now you admit you’re the assistant."

"Ugh, that’s just a figure of speech."

"Speaking of which, you already had an answer before you arrived, I presume?"

Siesta waved two plane tickets towards me.

Yep, the cafe we’re at was actually the airport lounge.

"…So, you say it’s just being an assistant, but the definition’s kinda vague."

"Hmm, like say, wake me up every morning, brush my teeth, change my clothes, or something like that?"

"………….……Please allow me to refuse."

"Why did you hesitate for a long time? Did you think for a moment it would be a fine life?"

"Ahh shut up! I get it! I’ll be your assistant as you wish!"