AFTERWORD
(I.E., POSTSCRIPT. DOES NOT INCLUDE STORY SPOILERS)
Rrrrrr.
“This is the Dengeki Bunko editorial office.”
“Excuse me for bothering you. I’m the writer Keiichi Sigsawa. Is the editor XXXXX available right now? If not, that’s totally fine, I’m just going to hang up now so we don’t waste electricity, good-bye—”
“This is XXXXX. You knew it was me, didn’t you?”
“Huh? That’s weird, I didn’t recognize you at all… Did your voice change?”
“That’s right. I’m glad you noticed. So why are you calling? I’m willing to help as long as it doesn’t involve you being unable to finish your afterword on time.”
“I can’t finish my afterword on time.”
“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”
“Yay! It’s been so long since I’ve gotten a compliment. The more I get, the better I do!”
“That wasn’t a compliment. You’re way past your deadline, so I’ll give you three seconds to write and submit it.”
“I can’t do that, even through e-mail. You know it takes several seconds, up to a dozen, to send an e-mail, right? Even to a person sitting right next to you. It would be way faster to just link the two computers together. I find myself thinking about those topics on fine spring days such as this. How are you all spending your season?”
“Don’t try to weasel your way out of this by acting like you’re giving a seasonal greeting. Why’s it taking you so long to write this afterword anyway? Aren’t you widely acknowledged as being an afterword author, first and foremost?”
“That was my reputation in the old era. It’s Reiwa now.”
“But Reiwa started last year. It’s already been a whole year.”
“Whole new year, no book here.”
“That’s not funny. Anyway, this is Volume X of GGO, so shouldn’t you have a lot to say?”
“Like what?”
“Are you taking notes?”
“Why would you suggest that? I’m going to record the call, of course. Now, what was it you were saying I should write in the afterword? Go on! The tape is rolling!”
“…Like, for example, in the afterword of Volume IX, you said you were planning to make Volume X a short story collection, but you ended up writing an entire novel instead.”
“Oh, that’s a good idea. Approved! Well, the reason is that this seemed like it would be more fun! I can still write a set of short stories whenever I want, so I figure I’ll just say that I’m waiting for the right opportunity.”
“Also, shouldn’t you write about how ReoNa, the singer for Elza Kanzaki in the 2019 GGO anime, put out a new single called ‘Prologue’ as ‘Elza Kanzaki Starring ReoNa’? And also about how the short story you wrote for the single is also included in this book?”
“Approved! That single was really great! ReoNa’s singing is fantastic, of course, but the song and lyrics themselves really embody Elza Kanzaki’s worldview! I want to go around the world with a megaphone shouting that everyone who hasn’t heard it yet should give it a listen.”
“I wouldn’t do that; you’ll probably get arrested.”
“Well, I’ve got a lot to write about now. I should probably talk about how I’m going to buy a new hunting rifle this year, too, huh?”
“Huh?”
“Oh, did I not tell you about that?”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Anyway, I’m still in the application process. They haven’t approved me for the permit yet, but I’m constantly waiting by the mailbox. Every day is an eternity! Honestly, it’s like the circle of life that I use my royalties from Gun Gale Online to buy guns. I’ve found the natural way to live.”
“We might need to debate the definition of the word natural.”
“But we don’t have time for that, do we? Anyway, what else should I include?”
“Grrr! Why don’t you just start by expressing your gratitude to the original series creator, Reki Kawahara, and illustrator, abec, for allowing you to use the world of Sword Art Online? Plus, Kouhaku Kuroboshi, for providing all the wonderful GGO illustrations.”
“Oh yeah, that’s really important! Those two made it possible for me to reach Volume X, and I’m so grateful to Mr. Kuroboshi for depicting Llenn and all the others as so cute and cool. I would like to express my gratitude to all three in song!”
“Before you start, you’ll have to make it clear that your editor told you not to do it.”
“Got it. I’ll throw in some dance moves, too.”
“And before you strut your stuff, you’ll have to make it clear that your editor insisted otherwise several times.”
“You bet, pal. Well, I think I’ve got everything for this afterword. Now I’ll just write this up and we can act like we never had this conversation. This is where my reputation as an afterword author really shines.”
“I’m eagerly awaiting the results. Employees of this company are sworn to secrecy, so I will do my best to take this conversation to my grave. See you in three seconds.”
“I’ll do my best, too.”
Keiichi Sigsawa—April 2020
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