SSS-Class Suicide Hunter - Chapter 98

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Translator: thursdays Editor: Yahiko PR: LightBrin

1.

“But,” said the Lady of the Silver Lily.

“A week from today. Until the end of this world, you have to be my exclusive servant, not the Lady of the Gold Silk’s butler.”

“Your ladyship’s exclusive servant……”

“Yes. I only know my own love; I’ve never taught anyone else to love. There is no other method to teach you other than to directly show you the way I love. So shouldn’t you stay by my side to observe? Watch and learn.”

“…….”

“Now that I say it, it feels like I’m incurring a loss. No, I’m definitely losing something. Aren’t I revealing my embarrassing private life? Know that this is the fortune of your life—including your past and future lives. Peasant.”

She truly was a haughty aristocrat.

2.

The next day, my two-contract life began.

My master was not just the Lady of the Gold Silk but also the Lady of the Silver Lily.

“Hmm. You’ve arrived.”

“Yes.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily greeted me in her dressing room.

At 5 a.m.

The lady was already awake. Four servants surrounded her to dress her up and prepare her for the day. Normally, it was highly discourteous to step into a lady’s dressing room as she was arranging her toilette, but the Lady of the Silver Lily dismissed any concerns by saying, “It’s annoying. Cut it out.”

As soon as I entered, the lady said, “Show it to him.”

“Yes, milady.”

The gray-haired servant pulled out a tablet decorated in a floral lily pattern. The sentences on the tablet were written in an impressive cursive script.

+

LESSON 1. (Fundamentals)

Love starts like a bitch.

+

“…….”

“I was thinking last night. What method should I choose to teach you love? I cannot leisurely focus my attention on you, nor can I find someone to be your first love. Don’t you agree?”

While I was dumbfounded and unable to reply, the Lady of the Silver Lily continued to speak indifferently. Beside her, the servant trimming the nails of the lady’s right hand looked just as apathetic as her master.

“Thus, I’ve decided to teach you what truths you need to know in advance. Read this. Repeat after me. Love starts like a bitch. “

“L-love starts like a bitch…?”

“Correct. It’s a bitch. Well, sometimes it just turns out like that.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily opened her fan with her left hand. Whoosh! The fan spread out, making a clean and crisp sound. The lady covered her mouth with the fan.

“Some lovers who find their perfect matches right away exist in this world. Probably. There may be some who love each other and care for each other from the moment they meet to the day they are buried in coffins. But you aren’t one of them.”

“…….”

“There’s a 99% probability that the lover you meet will be a bitch. Even if she isn’t a bitch now, she will become a bitch some day. Why? It’s simple. It’s nearly impossible for a human being to be perfect forever. Similarly—”

Swish.

The Lady of the Silver Lily folded her fan and pointed to the gray-haired servant. Then, the servant turned the tablet around like he had been waiting all along. Another sentence was written on the back of the tablet.

+

LESSON 1. (Advanced)

You are also a bitch.

+

“You are also highly likely to be a bitch.”

“…….”

“But don’t be discouraged. Humans are animals that learn from experience. If one is played by a bitch, one can make sure not to be played by another again. If you act like a bitch to someone, you can learn not to be a bitch the next time. It’s about learning [how to recognize a bitch], [when to act like a bitch], and [how not to act like a bitch].”

My mind was blank.

“C-can’t things go well from the beginning?”

“Butler.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily looked unimpressed.

“Don’t expect too much from people.”

“…….”

“Humans forget the things they’ve said. They make a decision, but end up giving up on it later. They forget and they quit. The following two words are the basic laws of love. If you truly want to be good at love, you have to learn to do the opposite: [remember] and [persist].”

“A-are you also teaching me memorization and persistence?”

“How childish….”

The Lady of the Silver Lily sighed. What was it? What did I do wrong? I really had no idea.

“You must see it to learn it. I shall demonstrate.”

Demonstrate?

How?

“You’ve seen it with your own eyes, yet you still don’t know.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily stood up from her seat. The servants who had been sticking to her like kittens drew back at once. Accepting the servants’ escort, the Lady of the Silver Lily proudly stated,

“The person I love is the biggest bitch in the whole world.”

Uhm.

Why was she acting like that was a good thing?

“After me.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily began to walk, and I followed, as did her servants. The servants, for some unknown reason, were holding containers of water.

We arrived at the most luxurious dorm in the academy. It was the place where the crown prince stayed.

“L-Lady of the Silver Lily.”

The prince’s attendants greeted us, perturbed. Or perhaps I should say they were depressed? Even though the ducal family was lower than the imperial family, the atmosphere strangely felt like nobody could stand against the Lady of the Silver Lily.

“Y-you’ve come.”

“I have.”

“It isn’t even bright outside yet….”

“Is His Highness awake? A king’s morning should begin earlier than his people’s.”

“That’s……”

“He isn’t awake, then. Bring me to him.”

The prince’s attendant trembled.

“H-his Highness gave us strict orders….”

“What was the order? Nevermind. I know what it is. He would have said not to let me inside when I visit. Is that right?”

“I’m sorry….”

“The Emperor had called me specifically when he sent the nation’s foundation to this school. His Majesty told me that I, as the prince’s fiancée, need to work hard because His Highness can be lazy and self-indulgent. I am following the emperor’s orders in caring for the crown prince. You are a servant of the imperial family. Tell me this: Are you the prince’s servant? Or are you the servant of His Majesty, the Emperor?”

“M-milady.”

“Do you dare to reject His Majesty’s imperial command because of your position as the prince’s servant? The emperor will be pleased to hear of this.”

She had resolved the situation in just one minute.

Not a single one of the imperial family’s servants stopped the Lady of the Silver Lily. The lady crossed the garden, went through the lobby, and finally reached the crown prince’s bedroom.

“Your Highness.”

She knocked three times.

“Are you awake?”

“Don’t come in!”

“So you are up. I shall enter, then.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily took out a key and opened the door like it was her own bedroom. Click. The prince’s bedroom opened up and welcomed us, though its owner was shaking in his bed.

“Hieek?!”

“Your Highness, dawn has broken, and yet you remain lying in bed. This is not good. The emperor wakes at 4 o’clock every morning to take care of the state’s affairs. Can the nation’s foundation, who will succeed that great work, afford to be slothful?”

“Come here! Is anybody here?! Somebody help……”

“Close the door.”

The bedroom door slammed shut. There were no imperial servants left in the bedroom. Only the servants of the Lady of the Silver Lily lined up expressionlessly, and the prince’s shoulder trembled even more.

The Lady of the Silver Lily opened her lips.

“Butler.”

“Y-yes.”

“I shall teach you the second lesson.”

The lady nodded at the gray-haired servant.

At her signal, the servant picked up a paper pad that had been prepared in advance.

+

LESSON 2. (Fundamentals)

If you can’t avoid the bitch, enjoy what you can.

+

“E-enjoy….?”

“You will also fall in love someday. And your first love will be a bitch. My advice to you is that since that will be the case, you should make the most of it.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily flicked her finger.

“And there is only one way to make the most of an encounter with a bitch.”

The gray-haired servant skillfully turned the paper over.

+

LESSON 2. (Advanced)

Become a bigger bitch than the otheryour opponent.

+

Splash!

The Lady of the Silver Lily’s servants raised the buckets of water and tossed them over the bed. They had brought the buckets all the way here for this moment. “Heuk?!” The prince, struck by the water, floundered. His ramen-noodle hair was swelling up.

“—Being in love with a bitch is like being at war.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily looked at the prince calmly.

“It is better to avoid war whenever possible. Peace is worth more than anything. If the person you love is polite? You are polite in return. What if the person is kind? Then, obviously, you must also be kind. But if the person is inevitably going to be a bitch, keep this in mind.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily took out a fan. It was a different fan than the one before, and surprisingly, words were written on it.

+

Today’s motto:

Don’t be kind to a bitch.

+

She was crazy.

“Repeat after me. Don’t be kind.”

“D-don’t be kind.”

“Humans are animals that want to look well in front of others. Some humans want to look impressive in front of others, and others want to look knowledgeable. Then, there are the humans who want to appear kind. From what I see, you belong to the last category. Control yourself.”

However, the lady did not restrain herself. At all.

“Open the door.”

The servants opened the door. In the corridor, the imperial servants stood around restlessly.

“What are you all doing?” the Lady of the Silver Lily said indifferently. “His Highness is soaked. Though the spring season is refreshingly cool, I fear that the nation’s foundation will become ill. Hurry and change his clothes.”

“Y-Your Highness!”

The imperial servants ran inside in a rush. They were all holding towels, as if they knew this would happen. What that told me was that this was not the first time the Lady of the Silver Lily commenced Operation Water Waking.

“Listen carefully. This is an equation of love.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily slowly went out into the corridor.

“Handsome people lose to smart people. Smart people lose to bitches. Therefore, the people at the pinnacle of love are smart, beautiful people with the personality of a dog. Butler, you need to internalize this truth and cultivate yourself with hard work.”

“Uh….”

When I looked back, there was still a lot of commotion in the prince’s bedroom.

“This is a bit different from the love that I imagined. I thought, maybe……”

“You expected something more romantic?”

“Yes, and……”

“You thought love was felt in the heart, not one’s head.”

“Yes…….”

“That’s also correct.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily tossed her fan. Swish. The gray-haired servant skillfully caught the fan and put it in his pocket. We continued talking as we walked to the parlor.

“However, that is all up to your luck. Having a relationship that makes your heart flutter the first time you see someone is not an easy thing. The life you’ve led determines whom your heart is excited by. Falling in love at first sight is actually because a glance can show what kind of life the other person has lived.”

“That sounds difficult….”

“Of course it’s difficult.”

The lady’s red eyes narrowed.

“Shall we test how difficult it is?”

A test.

“What sort of test is it?”

“See if you can cause my heart to pound.”

“……How should I do that?”

“You only need to do something admirable.”

An admirable act.

“What would count as something admirable?”

“Do I need to tell you that, too? Why don’t you look within yourself? Think for yourself, ponder over it, and answer. Butler. You’re intelligent, so perhaps you will succeed.”

“…….”

“I will at least inform you whether your answer is correct.”

We arrived at the parlor. This was definitely the residence of the crown prince, but the lady of the duchy walked around comfortably like it was her own home. She dismissed all of the servants except me and sat on a chair.

The room had a red carpet.

Scarlet pupils of the same color quietly stared at me.

Hmm.

“Whoo……”

I took a deep breath. The breath passed through my throat and curled up like a solid seed in my lungs. Though I was just breathing, it was evidence of my determination.

I took out the cards from my bosom.

+

[Facial Recognition Barrier Card]

[What a coincidence! Overhearing crucial secrets! card]

[Oops! I shouldn’t have said this! I said something wrong! card]

+

Before I entered the Apocalypse, the Librarian gave me these cards, saying that these cards would be my ‘army and support.’ I originally planned to use these cards on this stage. The Lady of the Silver Lily tilted her head.

“……? What are those?”

“These are the cards the Corner Librarian gave to me.”

And then.

“To use Your Ladyship’s words, these are like a [strategy guide].”

Riiip!

I tore the cards without hesitation.

The ripped cards scattered like fine sand until not a trace was left.

[The Corner Librarian is surprised by your decision.]

Maybe these cards really would have helped me and the Heretic Questioner get past this stage. But it was even more important to show sincerity to the person before me.

At least, that was what I believed.

[The Corner Librarian realizes your intention and applauds you.]

Rewards were just rewards.

A shortcut only has meaning when it can be used.

There was no reason for me to be obsessed with a reward or set my path on a shortcut without meaning.

“……Oh.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily cupped her chin on her hand and looked at me.

“Indeed.”

The red eyes gleamed like they were filled with blood.

“That is admirable.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily lightly beckoned me over.

“Come here.”

I approached her.

“Your chin is too high. Lower your head.”

I lowered it.

The Lady of the Silver Lily whispered in my ear.

“Well done.”

She took out a glass bottle. I didn’t know what it was at first, but I realized the moment the cap popped open. A blue scent. It was a perfume bottle.[1]

The Lady of the Silver Lily took off her gloves.

She used her pinky finger to skim over the bottle’s opening.

“I’ll tell you this now.”

She smoothly reached out her hand toward the back of my neck. She put a dot behind my ear.

“I will not be responsible for you.”

The fragrance.

It was a strong, flowery scent that made one’s head spin.

“——.”

The smell of white lilies.

My head instantly became clouded.

“Do you smell it?”

The Lady of the Silver Lily held my right hand. It took me a moment to realize our fingers were intertwining. Time stuttered because of the scent running rampant in my head.

“Yes…….”

“Do you like it?”

“……Yes.”

The Lady of the Silver Lily’s red eyes turned slant.

“I like it as well. It is my favorite scent. It has a sweet aroma.”

Whisper. Her voice was climbing along my neck.

“It was not unpleasant when you confessed your secret to me and destroyed it on your own. Continue attending to me. I, too, shall share a secret with you tonight.”

My heart was pounding.

[The immersion toward the character is deepened.]

This could be a big problem.

[Currently, your immersion rate is 15%.]

I might end up falling for this person.

~~~

[1] The word for perfume bottle is the same as the word for homesickness. While I’m not sure this is relevant, it may well be, knowing our author.