Spy Classroom - Volume SS3 - Chapter 4.1

Flashback ④

Guys’ Night

“The ladies are having a girls’ night, so we should throw ourselves a guys’ night! ♪”

On Vics’s orders, the guys were all gathered in the lounge. There were three people he’d called there: Klaus, Vindo, and Queneau.

Vics had gotten excited and handled all the planning on his own. Getting to share a meal with Klaus, the man who called himself the strongest spy in the Din Republic, was a rare treat. Vics had assembled loads of expensive alcohol and sides in preparation for the shindig.

“Dang, this is tasty.” “You’re right, it’s not bad.” “…Aye.”

What ensued, however, was a gathering so dull it brought tears to his eyes.

They were a full thirty minutes in, and they’d yet to have anything remotely resembling a conversation. Vindo had spent the whole time eating and drinking, Klaus only spoke in empty pleasantries, and Queneau rarely talked to begin with.

Not a single bit of laughter could be heard, and the time flowed by with no sound save that of chewing.

Objectively speaking, the current state of affairs was perhaps to be expected, but Vics was dejected nonetheless. And the way Vindo was gobbling down all the delicacies Vics had prepared with Klaus in mind certainly wasn’t helping his mood.

“You seem disappointed,” said Klaus.

“Yeah, I was hoping people would’ve been getting chatty by now. ♪ Why’s it so darn quiet in here? ♪”

“I mean, if you have something you wanted to talk about, I would be willing to oblige.”

“I’d love to hear about some of your past missions, Mr. Klaus. ♪”

“…That’s a tricky one. Inferno’s mission dealt with highly classified domestic secrets.”

Even when Vics handed him a conversation topic on a silver platter, all Klaus gave him was a vague, nonspecific answer. He also tried asking about spy techniques, but all he got back was abstract nonsense.

All the while, Vindo and Queneau said basically nothing. They had no desire to help liven things up.

Finally, Vics snapped.

“All right, this is a mission. ♪”

“““Hmm?”””

“There are suspicions that Galgad Empire spies have invested in an illegal casino within our borders and are using its profits to buy off members of parliament. We’ve infiltrated the casino to get to the bottom of things, and we have to blend in with the other guests—if that were the situation, would you still be wearing those long faces?”

“““…………………”””

On hearing Vics’s taunt, Klaus, Vindo, and Queneau all hung their heads and lapsed into silence.

Then, as one, they steeled their expressions and lifted their heads.

“I have the good stuff here, Queneau. Would you care for some?” “Aye, much obliged. To think I would get to enjoy a glass poured by a man of your stature.” “It’s no fun sitting around drinking. What do you say we play some cards, Klaus? Loser has to take three shots.” “That seems disrespectful to such nice liquor.” “…Aye, but I don’t hate the idea.” “Heh. You’ll be saying ‘I surrender’ in no time.”

“Wait, now the party’s popping?!”

Vics’s eyes went wide in shock. He’d always known they had the skills to pull it off, but there was something unnerving about how completely their personalities had shifted as they’d begun playing poker.

“You should’ve just done that from the start. ♪ C’mon, guys.”

“Why should I have to? This isn’t even a real mission.” “I tend to agree.” “…Aye, this is exhausting.”

Vics slammed his fists on the table. “I swear to God! Why am I surrounded by a bunch of killjoys?!”

Crackers and whiskey bottles went flying from the force of the impact. Klaus and Vindo deftly snatched them out of the air, and Queneau gave them an impressed nod.

“That’s it, we’re arm wrestling! ♪” Vics cried.

“““Huh?”””

“That’s the only way I’m gonna get any enthusiasm out of you people, right?! Or what, you too chicken?”

He gave them a provocative sneer and extended his arm.

The first one to respond was Vindo. “You never learn,” he said before moving over.

The two of them placed their elbows on the table, grabbed each other’s hands, and glared daggers.

“Go,” Klaus said. Vindo yanked their locked hands toward him, hard enough that Vics’s elbow rose off the table. “Elbow contact lost. Vindo wins,” Klaus declared.

“BITE ME, MAN! That’s it, today’s the day I pound you into the dust!!”

Vics’s voice was several times more savage than usual, and he lunged at Vindo. Realizing things were about to get messy, Klaus and Queneau rose to their feet, and the guys’ night drew to a close.

While all that was going on, the girls were hanging out in the main hall. “Man, boys can be so loud.” “Preach,” Lily and Sybilla respectively remarked as they listened to the chaos and nonchalantly sipped their tea.