4
They were out of the mansion and away from the well-traveled road that led to Earlham Village. As they left the town road and entered the mountain trail, Subaru posed a question to the slender back of the girl walking in front of him.
“Now, about those tea ingredients…what exactly do you need again?”
Ram held up four fingers, and without turning back, she answered, “There are four ingredients in total. First, we need mylegia blossoms. They’re a rare blue flower, but you can find them in the field where you tried to seduce Emilia.”
“H-ho-how do you even know about that?!”
“Since I know exactly where they are, we can get the blossoms on the way back. The second ingredient is in the forest. It’s baroe fungus, and it always grows at the root of a certain tree. I dry that and grind it into a powder—it’s poisonous, by the way.”
“It’s poisonous?! Are we gonna be okay?!”
“You’ll be fine—if anything, you’ll gain immunity. Now, the third ingredient is an eccentric one. There’s this red fruit that only grows on the top of a bolk tree—and I need the seeds.”
“Ooh, sounds like we finally got a reasonable ingredient.”
“Bolk trees are unreasonably tall, and if you touch any part of the fruit other than the seeds with your bare hands, the poison is so powerful your fingers will practically melt off—be careful with them.”
“More poison?! Are you the type of character who needs poison to live?!”
“Medicine and poison are just two sides of the same coin. They can cure or kill, depending on how you use them. Also, I forgot to mention that the mylegia blossoms aren’t poisonous—they are carnivorous, though.”
“My beautiful memory with Emilia-tan—defiled by carnivorous plants!”
Rather, the thought that he had drunk such a lethal tea and found it delicious gave him chills. Its horn-wound curing properties were nice and all, but he worried that it might harm a normal human body.
“So…am I gonna be okay?” he cautiously asked.
“Well, I assume we’ll find out within the next twenty-four hours.”
“Blech! I was a guinea pig without even knowing it!”
“That was a joke. The drug takes effect immediately upon swallowing it. If it were harmful to you, you would have died during the night.”
“That’s not even funny! Seriously, am I gonna be okay?!”
Subaru made gagging motions with his mouth, but the tea he had drunk the day before had long been absorbed into his system. Praying that nothing bad would happen to him, Subaru focused on procuring the tea ingredients.
“So what about the final ingredient?” he asked with a sense of total dread.
“The final ingredient…well, I will keep that a secret until we find it. A special little punishment from me to you.”
“A punishment worse than drinking poison?”
“You drank it of your own volition, Barusu. One could also say you gave Emilia poison.”
As irony stacked on top of irony, Subaru fell deathly silent. Ram kept the fourth ingredient a secret, and the first three ingredients were all deadly. That meant either the final ingredient was surprisingly basic or something so fiercely horrifying that she hesitated to speak its name out loud. He fiercely wished it was the former and would rather be kept in the dark if it was the latter.
“You know, going into the forest with you reminds me of when we looked for Rem,” Subaru remarked.
“Ah yes, when you were pathetically mauled by a dog, and Master Roswaal dashingly came to your rescue.”
“The memory was indeed pathetic and dashing—you’re not wrong there—but we won’t have any encounters with demon beasts today, I hope? Just FYI, all I’m carrying in my equipment tab is an item bag and Shooting Star.”
Shooting Star was the name Subaru had given his beloved kitchen knife. Many a vegetable had fallen to Shooting Star, but it had yet to earn its stripes in battle. If he had to fight a demon beast with it, Subaru would rather beat a pathetic retreat.
“Don’t worry, Barusu, nobody expects you to be even slightly useful in a fight. Also, I’d rather Rem not scold me afterward. Why…why does the blame have to fall onto me anyway?”
“Um, uh, sorry about that. Oh—that’s right! The Urugarum in the forest—Roswaal exterminated all of them, right? So why do we need to beware of demon beasts?”
“Urugarum aren’t the only demon beasts in the forest. In fact, now that their territory has opened up, I’d assume the demon beasts of the forest have started their turf wars, wouldn’t you? No demon beasts are as dangerous as the Urugarum, but you’d be reduced to a pile of bones if you met any of them.”
“Wasn’t planning on meeting any demon beasts anyway…not in a billion years, thank you very much. Then again, as long as I live my life quietly and mind my own business, they won’t bother me anyway.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure… I get the sense that your wish won’t come true, Barusu.”
“Dude, why.”
“Woman’s intuition.”
Subaru didn’t know why, but her comeback was strangely persuasive. Sensing something was amiss, Subaru directed his attention to a newly budding question. “I always wondered about this, but what exactly makes animals and demon beasts different?”
“Oh, that’s simple—their origins of existence are completely different.”
It wasn’t Ram who answered. The familiar voice came from the pendant glowing on Subaru’s chest—flecks of light spilled out, taking the shape of a cat.
The palm-sized cat spirit—Puck—floated before Subaru’s eyes, stretching himself as he said, “Visually, the distinguishing difference between demon beasts and animals is the horns. And since horned animals also exist, it’s more than just that. Demon beasts always have horns. You should make a note of that.”
“Thanks for the explanation. But aren’t you up a bit earlier than usual?”
“Well, Lia made me promise to look after you. And if I’m in my energy-saving mode, I can be around longer than usual. So fear not, I’ve got your mood-lifting antics covered!”
“I’m a hundred percent certain Emilia tasked you with more than just that.” Subaru frowned.
The proudly pontificating Puck jumped onto Subaru’s shoulder, curled into a ball, and slammed into Subaru’s cheek with his tail wagging.
“O great spirit, thank you so much for being so gracious as to accompany us,” Ram said.
“Mmm-hmm, no problem. I’m sure Lia likes to stretch her wings while her parents are gone now and then.”
“Oh, the considerate gentleman angle? And huh, I’m surprised to hear you speak so politely with Puck, Ram.”
“It’s just an act,” she assured him.
“So honest, so direct—I kinda like that,” Puck said graciously.
Subaru smirked and shook his head. Now that he thought about it, they made quite a strange tableau. This particular grouping had not happened a single time before at the mansion.
“I just hope we don’t turn into the Three Stooges… Emilia told you what our mission is today, I assume? Thanks for helping.”
“Yeah, I’ve got your back,” Puck said. “If it starts raining, don’t hesitate to spread me out and use me to keep out the rain.”
“Okay, one, that’s an extremely specific use, and two, you’re too small. I’d still be dripping wet.” Subaru sighed as he pictured himself holding a soaking-wet cat over his head. “By the way, Ram, the trail is starting to look legit wild now… Do you know how to tell where these ingredients are?”
“That’s a stupid question. Just how many times do you think I’ve come up this very mountain to gather the ingredients?”
“Based on your daily job performance, I’m worried that you make Rem do it for you. Anyway, do you at least have a map or something so I’ll know where they might be?”
“I’ll draw my own map in my mind. Then we’ll talk.”
“In other words, it’s a rule of thumb sorta thingy. Understood, master.”
One of the ingredients was classified, the locations were in Ram’s memory only, and Subaru was useless both in a fight and in knowledge. So why—why was he even there?
“I’m a packhorse and comic relief…?”
As Subaru pondered his role—responsibility aside—Puck cheerfully said, “Oh, if it’s comic relief, I’m in the running! Heh-heh, let’s compete to see who’s better.” His voice was so carefree that Subaru tilted his neck and smashed the spirit with his head.
“Mee-yahhh!”
“Ooh, that feels good. Yah, yah!”
“Mya! Mya! Mya!”
The fur felt so good brushing up against his cheek that Subaru kept hitting his head against the yowling Puck as he stumbled up the awkward mountain trail—
“Argh…”
—completely unaware that Ram sighed in frustration at their lack of vigilance.
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