3
“There are three main types of tone-deafness. Inability to differentiate sounds, inability to make sounds, and inability to stay on beat. If you crush each of these problems one by one, even the worst tone-deafness can theoretically be cured. In other words, Emilia-tan can be fixed!”
“Th-that’s a-meow-zing!”
As Subaru raised his fist and lectured, Puck gave the expected cliché response. The spiel Subaru had just given was actually a sales pitch he had seen once on a TV infomercial. The veracity of the claims was dubious, but it was at least a step up from trying to help her without a plan.
Pitch, vocal cords, rhythm—those were the three main sources of bad singing, so by necessity, that was where the cure lay.
“First, let me break down Emilia-tan’s problem so it’s easier to understand. From what I’ve heard, my best guess is the two main causes of her tone-deafness are pitch and rhythm. Her vocal cords shouldn’t be a problem because she was able to make sounds perfectly fine—also, she’s got a pretty face.”
“Subaru, Subaru, tangent.”
“Oops, my bad—not that it’s bad to say that she’s got a pretty face—anyway, she can make sound without any issues. So she only has two problems to overcome: pitch and rhythm. Now repeat after me!”
“Pitch and rhythm!”
Puck added his voice to Subaru’s. They were both eager to cure Emilia’s tone-deafness. Meanwhile, beside them—
“Hummmph.”
Emilia sulked on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. She was not even slightly motivated. Catching Emilia and bringing her back was one thing, but her sulking was no joke. Still, the telltale twitching of her ears showed she was listening to their conversation, which was adorable.
“Since Emilia-tan was able to appreciate Liliana’s music, that proves her ears can tell the difference between good and bad sounds. Since she can hear others’ singing okay but can’t hear her own, that probably means she’s unconsciously correcting her own mistakes in her head as she sings. Let’s fix that first.”
“Easy for you to say, but how are we supposed to do that?” Puck asked.
“The most basic way is to have her listen to a properly performed song hundreds of times or have her hum along until she can match the pitch… It’s surprisingly easy to become self-aware if you try. Which brings us to step one…”
Subaru was ready to plunge into Emilia’s treatment plan. But right before he could pull out his secret weapon—
“Just when I thought things were getting quiet, why did you all have to start carrying on with selfish abandon, I wonder?”
A terribly grouchy voice cut in, and Subaru wearily shook his head. Then he turned to face the shameless wet blanket and let out a sigh in her smug little face.
“Dammit…we’re trying to stay positive here; don’t be a downer. You should read fewer books and read more rooms. Like this one—read the room.”
“For some reason, that line is uniquely vexing coming from you. I don’t even suppose I understand the meaning of this. Why are you doing whatever it is you’re doing in my Archive of Forbidden Books?”
Closing a book with a loud crack, the girl sitting on a stepladder far back in the room stuck out her tongue. With a frilly dress and her hair in sausage curls, the immaculately dressed girl resembled a porcelain doll. She was the librarian and resident of the mansion—Beatrice.
And she and Subaru were like cats and dogs—Subaru wanted to be friends, but since she was such an easy target, he usually ended up antagonizing her. He just couldn’t help himself.
“Well, what’re we supposed to do? This mansion doesn’t have any soundproof rooms. If we did this in some other spot in the mansion, Emilia’s voice would leak through the door or windows. And then what? If word gets out that Emilia’s tone-deaf, she can kiss the royal selection good-bye.”
“Is my singing really that bad?!”
The threat of losing the royal selection was too much for her, and Emilia could no longer stay unresponsive.
Beatrice turned an icy gaze on Emilia and said, “I couldn’t care less about what becomes of this girl’s future. Besides, I don’t suppose that serves as an explanation for why you all are making such a racket in my library.”
“Beako, surely you understand? Normal rooms aren’t soundproof. But we don’t have to worry about that in the Archive of Forbidden Books. This room is on a different plane of existence. So no matter how loud the singing lessons get, nobody’s inconvenienced!”
“And I’m telling you, I have never been more inconvenienced in my life!” Beatrice yelled, grabbing the hem of her skirt and jumping off the stepladder.
Her anger was justified, and her argument was sound. But it was an undeniable fact that Emilia needed the Archive of Forbidden Books for her singing lessons. So it was then that Subaru pulled out his anti-Beatrice trump card.
“Betty…are we really bothering you that badly? Do you…really want us to leave?” Puck implored Beatrice, his round, coy eyes wet with tears, his long tail limp in his paws. Even though Subaru had not briefed him on the plan beforehand, the devious kitty’s begging was executed perfectly.
Beatrice instantly lost all her momentum and looked nervous. “B-Brother, you did nothing wrong, I suppose! But my Archive…”
“I know, Betty. I know just how much you cherish this room. But we need your help. I mean it. So please…won’t you help me?”
“Brother…”
When the spirit she worshipped as a brother pleaded with her so earnestly, Beatrice’s heart quickly faltered. At the end of the day, she was never able to refuse a request from him. Victory was in sight.
“I win,” Subaru murmured, grinning wickedly.
Oblivious to Subaru, Beatrice gave a canned response. “W-well, I have no choice, I suppose. Very well. I cannot say no to my brother.” And with that, she was worn down until she gave in. So easily that Subaru worried that someday, some bad man would take advantage of her.
But now all the pieces were in place. Subaru and Puck nodded at each other, and Puck launched his entire body against Subaru’s open palm in a dramatic high-five.
And thus, with the Archive master’s permission obtained, Emilia’s musical training began—
“We have a long, hard road ahead of us. But let’s stay positive and push through it!” Subaru said.
“Rah! Rah! Rah!” Puck cheered.
“But I never said I wanted to fix my tone-deaf—uh, what I meant to say is, my singing may be a little off, but I never once asked you to fix it…”
Though each of the trio had their own agenda, their passion for the project threatened to leave the afflicted party out in the cold.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login