8
Whenever he entered that room, he instinctively started holding his breath and walking softly.
Even if he entered the room singing in a loud voice and tap-dancing, it wouldn’t have changed the reaction in the room. But he couldn’t help but subconsciously respect the silence, probably because the girl sleeping on the bed in that room seemed so frail that he hesitated to even touch her.
“I’m getting too poetic for my own good.”
He felt exasperated with himself as he drew a chair next to the bed and sat down.
It had been a month since the last time he had visited, but there was no change—not in a month, and not in a year.
Taking Rem’s hand as she slept, he squeezed it gently and started to talk.
“Sorry for coming here only after everything else. There were a few problems to take care of first… No, sorry, I’m just making excuses.”
“ ”
Naturally, there was no response from Rem.
Subaru didn’t expect anything different even as he talked to her, and his expression was peaceful.
It was a face that Subaru Natsuki only showed to her.
He only ever showed Emilia his fervent expression, as if he was ready to give up everything.
He only ever showed Beatrice his expression of complete trust, leaving his life entirely in her hands.
And he only ever showed Rem the expression of weakness that he always kept hidden.
Whenever he visited Rem like this, he would tell her about what he had done that day. On days when he went out, he would talk about everything he did on that excursion, too. He had even gotten in the habit of keeping a journal so he could report back to Rem.
With her stuck in an abyss of endless slumber, he didn’t want to let her be left behind by her friends, too. He’d do everything he could to let her know about what they’d done while she was sleeping.
He had done the same day in and day out for a year. But at long last—
“—We might finally be able to reach it.”
“ ”
Subaru had learned about the Sage who might be able to counter Gluttony’s power.
He was ashamed that the reason they had found that beacon of hope had nothing to do with his efforts and someone else had set the stage, but there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. At long last, he could act for her sake, after the isolation of watching the seasons pass and leaving Rem behind.
There were lots of people in Pristella who had suffered the same fate as Rem and were in need of saving.
But in Subaru’s heart, his real reason for braving the dangerous journey to the watchtower was Rem.
It was a selfish, self-involved reason, but even so—
“I’m going to bring you back, Rem. I swear it.”
Just like how she had lent him her strength during those days and moments when he had felt most powerless, it was his turn to help her. Right now, when Rem needed it most of all, Subaru wanted to be there for her.
“…Oww…”
“?!”
Just as he made his vow and closed his eyes tightly, hearing a voice all of a sudden sent him into a panic.
His eyes shot open in shock, but Rem was sleeping peacefully like always. There was no movement at all.
In which case—
“Release her hand, Barusu. It hurts just watching.”
“…It’s just you, Ram…”
Turning around, he saw Ram regarding him with cold eyes from the entrance to the room.
He felt a mixture of relief and disappointment as he looked at where Ram was pointing and realized too slow that he had been holding Rem’s hand tighter than he had thought.
“I can’t bear to see Rem’s delicate white fingers violated by your lust.”
“Could you not? That makes my resolve sound a lot dirtier all of a sudden.”
“Did you think that your resolve was somehow pure and unselfish? You should take a better look at yourself… Seeing you lust after my twin makes me feel worried about my own safety.”
“How little do you trust me? We’ve known each other pretty damn long now, haven’t we?”
“Hah.”
Subaru let go of Rem’s hand, and Ram stole his place. She gently held her little sister’s hand and her light-pink eyes softened as she looked at Rem’s tranquil sleeping face.
“I came to change Rem’s clothes in preparation for her departure. She doesn’t sweat, so I’m sure she doesn’t need it, but I want to clean her body first.”
“ ”
“You have a lewd look on your face. Spare me your obscenity.”
“I didn’t say anything because there wasn’t anything safe to say, and this is what I get for being quiet?!”
Simmering under Ram’s scornful gaze, Subaru whined about her unfair treatment, but they were in Rem’s bedroom, so he just clenched his fist and endured.
After Rem’s name and memory had been stolen, the vast majority of bodily functions seemed to have become unnecessary for her.
Changing her clothes and washing her body were not for her sake but for the sake of people around her. It was almost a ritual, to reassure themselves that she had not been entirely left behind.
It was easy enough to say they were meaningless actions, but…
“Does it feel like she’s your little sister now?”
Subaru suddenly had the question pop into his head watching Ram so carefully take care of her twin in a delicate way that was otherwise so unlike her.
“ ”
Even though she was treating Rem with such care, she had no memory of her little sister. But there was a weak, twisted sisterly connection, even if she couldn’t remember ever speaking to Rem before.
Even if memories were lost, it should be possible to build new ones. Perhaps that sort of connection had begun to sprout between the two sisters even though they hadn’t spoken to each other for more than a year.
“It does… Not only do I not remember her, but from my perspective, I’ve never spoken with her at all. But I’m sure she is a brilliant and dignified girl just like me.”
“There’s no denying she’s capable, though I can’t remember her being particularly graceful. She was surprisingly careless and tended to rush into things. There were times she made assumptions and sort of went on a rampage, too. More than a few, in fact.”
Subaru recalled how he had died not once but twice because of that tendency to jump to conclusions.
“You don’t say,” Ram responded listlessly. “Talking about lost memories is all too retrospective. I’m not much of a fan of it.”
“Oh yeah? If you say so.”
“…If she wakes up and I can remember, then we can talk about the past all we want. And even if I don’t remember, we can still just talk as long as she wakes up.”
Ram’s expression was unchanged as she looked into the face of her sleeping sister and gently ran her fingers through her hair. Rem’s hair dropped gently over her pale forehead. Seeing that, Ram’s eyelashes quivered.
In that moment, Subaru thought Ram looked more beautiful than ever.
Even if she didn’t remember, even if her memories were gone, there was no way that their bond as sisters would disappear.
And even if it did, there was no reason they couldn’t rebuild it.
“—Leave it to me. I’ll clear the way to the Pleiades Watchtower for sure and come back with good news and a Rem who has woken up. Then you sisters can have your emotional reunion.”
Subaru said it in a deliberately loud and stupidly cheerful voice.
Quiet moods and depressed moments didn’t suit the relationship that Subaru and Ram had.
“What are you saying, Barusu?”
“Huh?”
But despite his intentions, Ram cocked her head sneeringly. She maintained that pose and gaze as she continued:
“I’m going with you. Whatever emotional reunion there is, I’ll do it on my own. Don’t patronize me.”
“Why is this the first time I’m hearing of it?!”
Subaru’s eyes widened as Ram snorted in her usual manner.
But even if Subaru was surprised, and even if he pressed her on it, there was no indication in the slightest that Ram would change her mind.
With both Ram and Rem coming along, the heart-racing Sage tour had turned into a bigger family affair than expected. A difficult road lay ahead.
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