I was about to stick the spoon into the omurice, but my phone vibrated irregularly twice in a row. I was curious, so I took it out of my pocket and looked at the screen.
Nicole: Did you eat all your lunch?
Nicole: If you left any, I’ll punch you.
“Eek!”
It was a LINE message from Yamana-san.
“What’s wrong?” asked Shirakawa-san. Seeing the stiff look on my face, she took a casual peek at my phone. “Oh, isn’t that Nicole?” she said, her eyes opening wide as she gazed at the notifications.
“Did you tell Yamana-san about the lunch?” I asked.
“More like I had her call me over and over this morning until I woke up. I had to get up early to make this... My dad sleeps all day on weekends and my grandma is on a trip with her hula friends.”
“Huh? Don’t you have an alarm clock? Or what about the alarm on your phone?”
“How’s it even possible to wake up like that? I just immediately silence them and go back to sleep. But Nicole? She talks to me until I wake up.”
I didn’t know what to say. Shirakawa-san was really amazing. If it were me, I would prefer to sleep with alarm clocks wrapped around my stomach like dynamite rather than get someone else involved with something as extremely personal as waking up.
“Is Yamana-san a morning person?” I asked.
“Nuh-uh. She worked until late yesterday, so she was super angry with me when I asked. She was all like, ‘That’s such a pain in the ass! It’s not my problem!’”
That explained the angry LINE messages I’d just received.
“Wait a sec, you chat with Nicole over LINE?” asked Shirakawa-san, blinking in surprise.
It’s just like the other day, I thought. She was wearing that same mildly uncertain look that she’d had when she’d asked me about my meeting with Yamana-san at McDonald’s.
“Yeah... Um, back when she told me about your birthday, she also told me how to get in touch with her in case I wanted to ask her something about you. This is the first time she’s messaged me since then.”
It somehow sounded like I was making excuses, but it was hard to imagine Shirakawa-san being jealous, so I ended up saying that in a half-hearted tone.
“Huh... I see!” As expected, Shirakawa-san’s expression immediately returned to normal.
But in the next moment, she hung her head and quietly said, “Maybe I really am more in love with you than I realize...”
“What?”
“Never mind; it’s nothing!”
With that, I finally started eating. Her cooking was nowhere near as dangerous as I’d braced myself for.
“Yeah, it’s great!”
I wasn’t even lying—it tasted like a completely normal omurice made at home.
To be honest, even if Shirakawa-san’s lunch had tasted terrible, like if she’d made a mistake and mixed up salt and sugar or something similar, I’d still have been as happy to eat it as if it were something made at a three-star restaurant.
It was all because this was a homemade boxed lunch made by the girl I’d once admired from a distance.
“Really?! Yay!” She rejoiced innocently, like a little girl. “If the first thing I ever cooked is great, I guess I’m a genius! Maybe I should become a chef in the future...”
“A chef? Didn’t you want to be a YouTuber?”
“Hmm... There’s a lotta things I wanna be, so it’s hard to choose!”
Shirakawa-san smiled a lot today. She’d been a cheerful girl from the start, but compared with how things had been in the beginning, I was seeing her smile more often when we were together.
Had she really come to like me more than before? If so, would she allow just a little bit of physical intimacy...?
Whenever I thought about how lovely she was, it was difficult to fight the urge to touch her. In the beginning, I’d used to be happy just being together with her, but it seemed like I’d gotten greedy at some point.
***
After lunch, we walked around looking at animals for another hour or so. We left once we’d completed a lap around the zoo.
It was finally time for my primary objective. I could focus on my mission to get on a boat with Shirakawa-san and take her hand when she involuntarily held one out because she was unsteady while getting on and off it. And for that to happen, I needed to come up with a good way of inviting her onto a boat.
I kept my nervousness carefully hidden as I walked down a road outside the zoo with Shirakawa-san by my side.
The western part of the zoo was adjacent to the Shinobazu Pond in Ueno Park. Leaving through the zoo’s gate, you would inevitably walk alongside it.
“What a huge pond!” exclaimed Shirakawa-san upon seeing it.
“Yeah, no kidding,” I replied.
The weather was good, so even though it was almost three and the sun was starting to set, there were many boats out on the water. What caught my eye were the numerous swan-shaped paddle boats, though I’d made sure beforehand that ordinary boats were available too.
“Ah!” Shirakawa-san pointed toward the pond. “There are boats! They look pretty comfy!”
“Wanna go for a ride?” I asked after a brief pause. Her assist was way too helpful, which caused my voice to rise in pitch from nervousness.
“Yeah, totes!” Shirakawa-san readily agreed. Her eyes were sparkling with joy. “I think my last time on a boat was back in primary school! I wonder if I’ll even be able to row it!”
“Oh, I’ll do it.”
“Huh? Doesn’t everybody on the boat need to row?”
“Only in a canoe!” I said.
“Whaaat?!”
We both laughed at Shirakawa-san’s ditziness as we made our way to the pier. There was a line of boats moored there. It looked like you needed to buy tickets at a ticket machine and then head to the boarding area farther away at the pier.
“Ah, but wait, won’t it be hot out on a boat?” asked Shirakawa-san.
With her concern in mind, I decided to buy a ticket for a paddle boat with a roof instead. You could say it was similar to the swan ones but without the swan on the prow—and you had to move your legs to use something akin to bicycle pedals to propel the boat.
“We can ride for thirty minutes? Sounds fun!” Shirakawa-san exclaimed.
We made our way to the boat designated by the attendant.
“Watch your step...” I said.
Shirakawa-san was about to get on the boat, still wearing her shoes with a heel that I thought must’ve been ten centimeters tall.
“Agh!” she exclaimed, feeling her footing become unsteady.
But as I nearly extended my hand, thinking this was my chance—
“Wow! Look at this view!”
—she immediately regained her balance, and before I knew it, she was safely on board.
“Yeah, sure is...” I replied.
My mistake had probably been letting her get on first. When somebody became unsteady on their feet, they generally extended their hands forward—had I already been on board, perhaps I could’ve helped her in naturally.
Calm down, Ryuto. You’ll still get a chance when it’s time to get off, I told myself to keep my composure.
“What’s wrong, Ryuto?” asked Shirakawa-san right after we started paddling.
“Huh?” I looked at her beside me. “What do you mean?”
It was cramped in the boat. Seeing her excessively beautiful face from close-up while our shoulders were touching made my heart beat even faster. I felt myself sweating.
I’m trying to hold hands with such a cute girl... Is this really going to work?
Still, if she refused to so much as hold hands with me, it was safe to assume the chances of her ever saying she wanted to have sex with me were pretty low. The thought of it made me even more nervous.
“You’re kinda spacing out. Are you tired?” asked Shirakawa-san.
“Huh? I’m not...”
I wondered if I should be honest here before she thought something weird was going on, though it wasn’t like I was about to reveal my scheme to hold hands with her later.
“I was looking at you and thinking how you’re just too cute, and before I knew it, my mind was somewhere else...” I replied, stifling my embarrassment.
“Huh?” uttered Shirakawa-san, gazing at me. Her cheeks instantly flushed pink. “You dummy.” Her bashful frown looked so adorable that I wished I could take a picture. “Ah!” Suddenly, she pulled her phone out of a pocket of her backpack. “Let’s take a picture!”
“Huh?! O-Okay.” I was startled, thinking she’d read my mind.
People think that gyaru take selfies all the time, but Shirakawa-san wasn’t that much into photos. She almost never took selfies when we were together, and we’d yet to take a picture together on a date.
“Oh, looking pretty good!” uttered Shirakawa-san, activating the front camera in her photo app and checking the angle. “Come a little closer,” she said, leaning toward me.
Her long, curly hair had a floral-or-fruity scent, and it tickled my nose as it wafted over. Mixed in with the mature perfume she always wore was a feminine scent that was hard to describe.
“C’mon, look at the camera!” exclaimed Shirakawa-san with a smile as I kept pointing my eyes somewhere else entirely due to my nervousness. “Okay, here goes!”
Then, she rested her head on my shoulder, shocking me. The next moment, she pressed the shutter button.
“Oh, it came out good!”
Shirakawa-san showed me her phone’s screen. Displayed on it was my face, on the verge of stiffness from surprise.
“Wanna put it on your lock screen?” she asked, looking at me with those upturned eyes and an impish smile.
“Oh, uh... It’s...too embarrassing...” I said falteringly, my face red.
“Yeah, true...” She smiled. “Maybe I’ll put it on my home screen, then.”
With that, Shirakawa-san went into her phone’s settings and quickly tapped away.
“Hey, isn’t this pretty nice?” she said.
As she showed me the screen with app icons over our photo, I got embarrassed all over again.
“C’mon, you should do it too!” she coyly urged.
My heart pounding, I replied, “Okay.”
Once Shirakawa-san sent me the image over LINE and I set it as my wallpaper too, I showed it to her.
She smiled at me happily. “Heh heh, that’s another matching thing we have now.”
The dazzling nature of her grin had to do with more than just the reflection of the afternoon sunlight on the water.
Feeling Shirakawa-san’s presence closer to me than usual in that cramped boat, I wished I could stay there forever.
***
Time, however, waited for no one, and thirty minutes had passed in the blink of an eye. With reluctance, I steered us back to the pier and stopped the boat. I got off first and waited for Shirakawa-san to follow me.
That’s right—it was so that this time I’d get to hold hands with her.
“There we go!” uttered Shirakawa-san.
To my astonishment, she nimbly got up and disembarked without losing her balance.
Unlike getting on board, getting off a boat involved moving from unstable ground to the stable variety. Perhaps she didn’t need help if she had a good sense of balance.
My plan had failed.
“That was a pretty fun ride! It felt great!” exclaimed Shirakawa-san.
“Yeah...” I replied.
She was in a good mood, but I had been dealt a crushing blow of defeat.
“What do we do now?” asked Shirakawa-san.
“Good question...”
“Wanna go home?”
“Hmm... Nah.”
It wasn’t even four yet. Unable to give up, I half-heartedly shook my head.
I wished we could go on another boat ride for another attempt, but I was afraid she’d find it strange if I voiced such a request.
“Wanna walk for a bit?” I asked instead, settling on that after a good deal of worrying.
Perhaps I had an awfully brooding look on my face, because Shirakawa-san’s expression changed in an instant.
“Okay...” The smile was gone from her shapely face, and she started to look just a little nervous.
We walked along a path running alongside the pond for a while after that, neither of us saying a word.
I loved Shirakawa-san. I suspected she liked me too. After all, she was so nice to me and was still going out with me.
However, she’d yet to say she wanted to have sex with me.
That thought made me lose my nerve. I really couldn’t just go and ask her to hold hands directly.
But I wanted to touch her. To me, liking a girl also meant having the urge to touch her. However, that didn’t seem to necessarily be the case for Shirakawa-san when she liked a guy. I couldn’t understand it, and it was painful.
I didn’t want to hurt her, but it had finally gotten hard for me to bear—my love for her had grown too much.
Not that it meant I was okay with becoming like one of her ex-boyfriends who made her think that sex was a duty, however. I was cautious about physical intimacy with her because, after all, she was a considerate girl. If she were to notice my desires, I suspected she would set her feelings aside and let me do anything I wanted.
As I thought about all this, Shirakawa-san came to a sudden stop beside me. “Hey, Ryuto.”
“Hm?” I returned, having come to my senses.
She gave me an earnest gaze. “If you have something to say, say it.”
“Huh...?”
Had she realized what I’d been trying to do?
But as I thought there was no way I could simply tell her about it, Shirakawa-san spoke up with a grim look on her face.
“I can tell these things,” she said, pausing for a moment. “At some point, everyone starts acting like that on a normal date, and then that’s followed by those words.”
“What...?” I frowned, confused as to what she was talking about.
Shirakawa-san looked heartbroken. “Honestly, I don’t wanna break up. I wanted to become closer to you... I liked you. I’m not that smart, so maybe I didn’t make it clear...but I was quickly coming to like you more and more, you know?”
“Hey, wait a moment, what’re you talking about?” I asked.
She seemed to be saying something unrelated to what I’d assumed, so I stopped her upon realizing it.
“Huh?” uttered Shirakawa-san, looking confused. “Aren’t you gonna say you wanna break up with me?”
“Whaaat?! It’s not like that at all!” I replied, utterly panicked. I’d never thought about that for even a second. “Wh-Why would you assume that?!”
“You were looking all glum and were aimlessly walking around without a word.”
“Huh?! Well, that’s, uh...”
Then, I recalled what she’d just said.
“I can tell these things. At some point, everyone starts acting like that on a normal date, and then that’s followed by those words.”
Ah, so that’s what she meant, I thought. Was this how her exes had been dumping her until now?
It was painful to have someone cut ties with you. I’d merely confessed to Kurose-san and her rejection had hurt enough to leave me traumatized. The simple fact she hadn’t accepted my confession had made me feel like my entire self had been deemed unworthy.
Shirakawa-san had gone through an even more painful experience, and it had happened again and again. Guys would accept her and she’d come to trust them, but then they’d suddenly cast her aside.
Perhaps it had been her protective instinct that had led her to push and urge me to speak up in order to lessen the blow, even if only a little, because she subconsciously wanted to avoid getting hurt again.
“I don’t want to break up with you, not in the slightest,” I said.
I was different from her exes. And while I didn’t want to think about it even for a second right now... If this love were to come to an end someday, I definitely wouldn’t be the one to end things between us.
“I was just thinking...” I began.
Compared to Shirakawa-san’s emotional wounds, the problem that was stumping me felt trivial and inconsequential.
“I wanted to ride on a boat again,” I admitted.
“Huh? A boat? That’s it?” She looked taken aback.
I nodded. “Yeah. I thought it might be weird since we only just went for a ride in one.”
A smile returned to Shirakawa-san’s face. “You like boats that much? Oh well! Let’s go ride one again! It was pretty nice!”
Seeing her carefree smile, love for her surged inside me all over again.
Okay, time to change my tactics.
I decided to stop waiting for Shirakawa-san to extend her hand. I would summon my courage and reach out first.
I want to touch you, I thought. And if she looked displeased, I would gracefully apologize and wait for the right moment.
That would be for the best.
Thus, we made our way back to the ticket machine at the pier.
“Since we’re going for round two, wanna go with a normal boat this time?” suggested Shirakawa-san.
“Sure. Are you okay with the sunlight, though?”
“Yeah. The sun’s lower than it was earlier, so.”
With that out of the way, we bought a ticket for a rowboat and headed to the boarding area.
Due to the way they were made, rowboats were less stable than paddle boats, like the one we’d ridden earlier.
I got on board first and held out my hand to Shirakawa-san, who was standing on the pier.
I mustered up what little courage I had, leaving me with none to look her in the eye. “Take my hand, if you like,” I said.
There was silence for a moment, so I looked up in worry. That was when I saw that Shirakawa-san had surprise and bashfulness written on her face.
“Oh, thanks...” she uttered, timidly extending her pretty hand.
I could feel the soft, damp touch of her warm skin. Gently holding her hand, I felt deeply moved.
Once she’d taken my hand, Shirakawa-san got on board. “How kind of you, Ryuto,” she quietly said. Her eyes seemed to glisten somewhat.
However, our hands were only linked for a moment. We let go at the same time and sat facing each other in the boat. I had no time to relish my first bit of physical intimacy with Shirakawa-san since I needed to take hold of the coarse oars now. I didn’t have a choice either, since rowing was the only means of getting away from the pier.
We were silent for a while after I’d begun to row. It was a comfortable silence.
The park’s greenery sprouted alongside the pond, and the city’s high-rises were towering beyond it. The water was muddy and I couldn’t see any fish nearby, but a group of ducks were swimming some distance away.
Admiring such a scene around me, I rowed the boat, feeling content.
“Maybe it was right to choose this boat after all,” Shirakawa-san eventually muttered.
“Hm?”
As I looked at her, wondering what she meant, she smiled at me.
“I got to hold hands with you,” she said, her cheeks tinged with red.
“Huh...?”
“I’ve been thinking about it all the time recently—that I wanted to hold hands with you,” Shirakawa-san told me. “That’s why I’ve been trying to stick closer to you than usual. You didn’t notice?”
Her words made me recall how she’d suddenly touched my arm when we’d left school together, as well as when she’d placed her head on my shoulder when we took a picture on the paddle boat.
So those were signals...
“I couldn’t just say it ’cause I thought it’d be wrong to do that. Like, I still don’t feel like having sex with you, so how could I ask to hold hands? That’d be so selfish, right? Don’t guys want to go all the way after the first touch?”
“Huh? Uh, I don’t know about that...”
I might have been a virgin, but even my sex drive wasn’t so strong that I’d go wild simply from holding hands with a girl. This mix of knowledge and misconceptions Shirakawa-san had about guys was cute but dangerous at the same time. It made me feel like I had a duty to protect her.
“I wanted to hold hands with you too,” I confessed.
Shirakawa-san raised her chin and looked at me. “For real?”
“Yeah,” I replied and nodded.
A smile adorned her face. “Huh... I see...” Her expression seemed to indicate she was plotting something...and all of a sudden, she stood up.
“Shirakawa-san? Be caref—”
As I wondered what she was doing, she bent over and placed her hands on the hull, starting to shake it vigorously on purpose.
“Huh?!” I exclaimed.
The boat began to rock violently, causing water to splash inside.
“Wh-What are you doing?! Cut it out, it’s dangerous!” I cried.
Then suddenly...
Shirakawa-san drew nearer to me and brought her pretty face close to mine. Without any time to prepare myself, I felt a soft, warm touch on my lips.
She kissed me.
By the time I realized what had happened, our lips had already separated.
She sat down again with a grin on her face. “Gotcha!”
I had no idea what to even say. Rowing was now the furthest thing from my mind as I sat there in a daze. I felt like my spirit had left my body.
A kiss with Shirakawa-san... A kiss with Shirakawa-san...
That one phrase kept repeating in my mind. Merely holding hands had been a big deal to me, but getting to kiss her? It was unbelievable! I was so touched that my head was full of Shirakawa-san.
Ah, I really love her so, so much.
“We were thinking about the same things, right?” she asked with an embarrassed smile. Casting her eyes downward, she said, “I wanna get closer to you. To come to like you more. To...” She then looked up at me again. “...become a couple who love each other for real.”
Her words took me by surprise as I recalled the conversation we’d had on the day we’d started dating. I’d had no idea she’d been thinking along those lines...
I sat there, overcome with deep emotion, and Shirakawa-san looked back at me.
She fanned her flushed cheeks with her hands. “Man, this is the first time I went in for a kiss. It’s so embarrassing!” She spoke as though she was angry, but her pouty lips were so cute.
Then, our eyes met and we lightly smiled at each other.
When it was time to get off the boat back at the pier, I held out my hand to Shirakawa-san again.
“Here.”
“Thank you,” she replied, shyly taking my hand.
As she disembarked and I was about to let go, she tightened her grip.
“Sh-Shirakawa-san...?”
When I looked at her, startled, she gave me a playful smile. “Wanna stay like this for a little?”
“Huh...? S-Sure.”
The two of us then began to walk around the park, holding hands.
“By the way, would you stop with the ‘Shirakawa-san’ already?” she proposed all of a sudden.
“What?!” I looked at her. “Then...what should I call you...?”
Shirakawa-san seemed to sulk a little. “You know my name’s Runa, right?”
“Oh...”
S-So that’s what she meant...
“Well, uh, so...” I began.
I’d never called a girl by her given name before—I’d only ever used someone’s surname with “-san” attached. Changing that up would take me some time to mentally prepare myself. How could I have known a day would come when I’d be calling Shirakawa-san, of all people, by her given name—and without an honorific, at that?
“Ru... Ru-ru-ru...” I stammered.
Damn it, not again! I was freaking out the exact same way I had during my confession.
“Ruu-ru-ru...”
I most certainly wasn’t singing. My only source of comfort was that Shirakawa-san was patiently waiting for me to say it and not bursting into laughter.
“Runa...”
I finally managed to say it properly. Uttering her name for the first time felt strange, like it wasn’t me speaking—even though the voice was mine.
“Yeees?” Shirakawa-san said in a deliberately exaggerated way, bending over a little to look at me with those upturned eyes of hers.
“Oh, uh...” I was at a loss on how to reply, since it wasn’t like I’d called her name to tell her something. “A-Are you tired, Shirakawa-san? Do you wanna sit down somewhere?”
“It’s fiiine; I was just sitting on a boat.”
“Oh...”
Right.
“Also, you’re back to using ‘Shirakawa-san’ again,” she added.
“Oh, sorry!”
Man, what am I doing...? As I started to feel down over my behavior, Shirakawa-san giggled.
“It’s okay. I can wait until calling me that comes naturally to you.”
Then, she gripped my hand as though to reassure me.
“Shirakawa-san...”
I was overcome with emotion—she really was such a wonderful girl. I wanted to become a good match for my charming girlfriend as soon as I could.
“Ryuto, your hand’s cold,” Shirakawa-san said all of a sudden.
“Really? S-Sorry, I was just nervous...”
She giggled, seeming to find it funny how I’d been constantly apologizing for a while now.
“It’s okay, and it’s already summer anyway. I’ll warm you up.” She then blushed a little, a bashful smile appearing on her face. “Hey, this is kinda embarrassing.”
While I was blushing too, things seemed to have gotten so awkward for Shirakawa-san that she looked up at the sky to hide that fact.
“Man... If we had sex at the very start, I’m sure it wouldn’t have been so embarrassing now...” she said, still looking up. “Holding hands, kissing—it’s all so awkward. I think I’m coming to like you more and more whenever I feel you by my side.” Then, she faced my way. “I’ve never had this happen to me before,” she said with a sulking expression and blushing cheeks. “Will you take responsibility?”
Startled by Shirakawa-san’s words, which could be taken as a proposal, I stiffly nodded under her gaze.
“If you’ll have me... G-Gladly.”
She softly smiled. “Gosh, this is really kinda embarrassing,” she said, tightening her grip on my hand.
The height of summer was approaching us, and the evening air had a hint of the warm season to it. A refreshing breeze blew over from the pond, carrying the heat away.
Shirakawa-san was by my side, and I wanted to treasure her, to protect her smile forever. I wouldn’t be like her ex-boyfriends. I didn’t want to let her wear a sad look ever again.
To express those feelings, I gently squeezed her warm, delicate hand in return.
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