Amane felt that if they stuck to each other like that in the bath any longer he’d lose it, so he decided to call that enough contact for now, and got out of the bath.
Having finished his daily washing routine, Amane then dried his hair in the living room and waited for Mahiru’s return.
For a brief moment, Amane considered leaving his hair wet while waiting, aiming to have Mahiru spoil him some more, but he had a looming feeling that she would scold him, so he dried his hair quickly instead.
Amane also thought about waiting for Mahiru in his bedroom, but since that would likely make the atmosphere too intense, he decided to wait in the room where they usually spent time together. It also helped him to hide how fast his heart was beating.
Trying to hide his nervousness, Amane turned on the television. It was then that he heard a noise coming from the hallway. Amane guessed that the sound was Mahiru approaching, but he was too embarrassed to turn around to face her. He pretended to be absorbed in watching the television instead.
After a few moments, Amane finally looked up at her… and he felt instantly relieved at the sight. If Mahiru had returned wearing a risqué nightgown, Amane would’ve adamantly suspected that she was testing his endurance, but Mahiru was actually dressed in a modest knee-length negligee with a matching cardigan.
The negligee was made of a silky yet glossy fabric that was laced with a sheer material that gave her outfit a tinge of layered transparency. It was designed in such a way that it didn’t reveal the true curves of her body, however, so it didn’t look indecent.
The negligee itself was suspended by straps and had no sleeves, but since Mahiru had worn a laced cardigan over it, it wasn’t as revealing as one might expect. Instead, it simply helped embellish Mahiru’s prim and proper attitude.
Embarrassed by Amane’s stare, Mahiru shrunk back a bit shyly, but she didn’t try to hide herself. Instead, she steadily returned his gaze, looking in his direction as if peeking at him.
“D-Does it look strange on me?”
“Not one bit. Those clothes are cute and suit you rather well. I was just thinking that they’re different from the ones you wore back at my parents’ house.”
“O-Of course I can’t wear these clothes at your parents’ house. Erm, but right now you’re the only one seeing me, Amane-kun, so I am trying my best.”
Mahiru fidgeted as she spoke and sat down next to Amane politely. Then, she leaned to the side, and rested her body on him.
The sensation of thin fabric paired with the fresh, sweet, yet not overpowering aroma—one slightly stronger than the one he had experienced in the bath—caused Amane to tense up, despite him trying to calm himself down moments before.
Amane felt that way simply from being next to her. If he were to hug Mahiru now, he would undoubtedly lose himself to her charming scent.
“Frankly, I was worried about what I’d do if you came in wearing some indecent-looking nightwear.”
“Actually, I had thought about that,” she confirmed.
“Listen here…”
“But, erm… I-I thought that if I was too… aggressive in what I wore, I might overwhelm you,” Mahiru cleared up, “In fact, I’m sure of it.” The sight of her muttering shyly was, frankly, adorable. If there was even a single man willing to back down after seeing such a spectacle, they’d warrant a trip to the nearest eye doctor.
“...I wouldn’t be put off by that,” Amane confirmed. “I’d be happy to see you wearing it for my sake, Mahiru.”
“I–I still won’t wear it, okay?”
“So you won’t, huh?”
“Do you want me to wear it?”
“Well, yeah. Someday, well… I think I’ll want you to wear it. If you ever feel like the time is right, Mahiru, go ahead and show it to me.”
“...Someday, okay?”
“Yeah, someday. …For now, you don’t need to overdo it.”
While seeing Mahiru writhe in embarrassment would be a cute sight to behold, there was no need to force her to wear those clothes when she hesitated to do so. For Amane, waiting until Mahiru chose to wear it because she wanted to was of utmost importance.
Amane then tried to drop the subject, but tilted his head at Mahiru, as he noticed that she seemed to want to say something more. But in response to his quizzical look, she pouted, saying sharply, “It’s nothing.” Amane then gently took her hand without pushing the matter any further.
Although Amane simply held her hand as he usually did, he could feel Mahiru’s body stiffen briefly. But once Amane moved to lovingly wrap his arms around her in silence, her tension melted away, and she rested her head on his arm. Mahiru snuggled up to Amane, not at all forcefully, but as if to say she’d never let go. Amane in return also slightly leaned on Mahiru.
With perfect timing, the variety show ended, and the monotonous voice of a newscaster flowed from the TV into the living room. Amane listened to the voice half-asleep, unable to fully concentrate on the comforting warmth next to him. He changed the manner in which he held Mahiru’s hand.
Until now, he had simply cupped his palm around hers, but now, Amane intertwined their fingers together. He searched for the perfect position to bring her fingers close to his, implying that he would never let them go. Her slender fingers, which had been sufficiently warmed up due to the bath, did not resist Amane’s gesture. Mahiru simply gripped back in return, as if responding the same way to him.
“...It’s about time. Let’s get some sleep.”
Mahiru quietly and softly squeezed Amane’s hand once more after hearing the words that he said so naturally.
They moved to Amane’s bedroom as they continued to hold hands tightly, and Mahiru looked around a little upon entering.
Mahiru had entered Amane’s bedroom many times before, so there shouldn’t have been anything unfamiliar to her, but given Mahiru’s nature, she probably had refrained from scoping out his room the previous times she had been there. Or perhaps, Mahiru was simply letting her mind wander, and was looking around the room to stop thinking about what they would do next.
Although Mahiru kept her true intentions hidden, she turned her gaze to his desk and let out a small smile.
“...You’ve been taking good care of your stuffed animal, haven’t you?”
Saying that, Mahiru pointed to the cat plushie that she had won for him at the arcade during their Golden Week date.
While it may have looked out of place in Amane’s room, since Mahiru had worked so hard to win it for him, putting it away would be both a pity and a waste, so Amane decided to leave it on display.
Other people basically never entered his room, so he figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, but now that she had pointed it out to him, he was left feeling a little embarrassed.
“Well, just to the point of making sure it doesn’t get dusty. I don’t sleep with it in my arms like you do, Mahiru.”
“A-Are you making fun of me?”
“Why’d you ask? It’s very cute, so there’s no reason to make fun of you. I’m glad that you’re treasuring it.”
Mahiru was extremely fond of the stuffed animal he gave to her on her birthday, and she seemed to be sleeping well with it wrapped in her arms. Chitose, who had occasionally stayed at Mahiru’s house, gave him a detailed report of Mahiru doing so, so it must have been a regular occurence.
Mahiru seemed embarrassed that she was sleeping while hugging a stuffed animal, for her eyes began to dart around the room before suddenly landing back on Amane with a sharp glare, as if blaming him. As soon as Amane complimented her honestly, however, her anger vanished and she simply felt embarrassed.
“...I always take good care of what you give me, Amane-kun.”
“Thanks for that. ...You didn’t bring it with you today, did you? Kuma-san, I mean. Your teddy bear.”
“Erm, that’s because… I have you with me tonight, Amane-kun.”
“...Yeah.”
Whether Mahiru wanted to use him as a body pillow or to become a body pillow, Amane wasn’t going to ask her which one she was imagining. As long as Mahiru would be able to hug to her heart’s content, that was all that mattered. Likewise, Amane intended to hug Mahiru to his heart’s content.
He thought about embracing her right away, but Amane’s eyes gravitated once more towards the cat plushie on display by Mahiru’s side. The toy’s large, yet emotionless round eyes felt like they were staring intently at him, as Amane thought about the ways in which he could draw Mahiru closer.
This situation was reminiscent of a child chancing upon their parents’ intimate moments, and this thought left Amane feeling embarrassed. Strange and unfamiliar, it was a feeling that Amane had never felt before, given that his relationship with Mahiru hadn’t yet developed that far before this point. However, he couldn’t help but feel something like that, despite the strangeness of the sentiment. Without thinking, Amane silently grabbed the blanket that was draped over his chair and used it to cover the stuffed cat.
“...Is something wrong?” Mahiru questioned.
“W-Well, I feel like I can’t relax right now, while it’s watching me… That’s all,” Amane replied.
Even though he knew the stuffed animal could not see them, for an inexplicable reason, Amane couldn’t help but think that it would be bad for the thing to be able to see what was going to happen next—or rather, what Amane was likely about to do to Mahiru.
Of course, Amane wasn’t intending to escalate things to a point where he’d chip away at his own sanity, but even so, he hesitated to give Mahiru the kind of attention that lovers do, in front of the cat’s pure, innocent eyes.
“Fufu. You’re concerned about it too, aren’t you, Amane-kun?”
“Shut up.”
“That part of you is rather cute, you know?”
“Is that something you can say when you go to sleep while hugging Kuma-san?”
“I thought we were finished talking about that, right? Geez!”
Amane chuckled and accepted Mahiru, who was upset at the topic being brought up yet again. Evidently, this didn’t seem to sit well with her, because she pressed her free hand into Amane’s side—although in the gentlest of punches.
Understandably, Amane wasn’t in any pain as a result. Conversely, the pleasant tickling sensation it caused to his side only added to the charm of Mahiru’s protest.
While Mahiru’s cute attempts at a counterattack were efforts to hide her embarrassment, she would only resort to physical retaliation when it came to Amane. He understood that it was only because it was him that she would take revenge by touching like that, so Amane had no intention of resisting it or hating her.
Mahiru continued her gentle punching barrage on Amane’s chest for a while, but gave him a slightly resentful look before long, as he was utterly unfazed. Silently, Amane smiled and caught Mahiru’s hand, which had been loosely balled into a fist.
That being said, all Amane did next was intertwine their fingers together, which allowed their palms to press against each other.
At this, Mahiru’s eyes widened, then her cheeks flushed faintly as she dropped her gaze to the floor. Amane knew that she wasn’t against it, so he squeezed her palm gently and escorted her further into the bedroom by the hand.
Mahiru sat down on his bed without any resistance whatsoever, following Amane’s lead.
Amane looked at Mahiru, and rather unsurprisingly, despite her cooperation, saw a hint of surprise lingering on her face. Letting go of her hand, Amane sat down next to Mahiru—and hugged her gently, before continuing.
“...Erm, is it okay to pick up where we left off earlier…, in the bathroom?”
“Y-Yes.”
Amane has asked her for confirmation, and in return, Mahiru gave him the go-ahead with a touch of awkwardness in her voice.
I don’t think she dislikes it, but she’s all nervous again now, Amane thought, but he had gone too far already to stop now, so he gently lifted Mahiru’s chin and lovingly nibbled her lip.
He wasn’t sure whether she’d gotten used to it a little, but at the very least, Mahiru’s cheeks hadn’t immediately flared up with passion or lust.
What welled up was a joy that sunk in as far as it could go, a love that threatened to drown him, and a euphoria that kindled the warmth in his heart. Amane’s urge to envelop Mahiru tenderly and cherish her was stronger than his urge to pounce on her, and slowly, slowly, he pressed his lips against Mahiru’s, with utmost care, in an effort to soothe her tension.
They felt as though they were melting into one being, despite them only brushing their lips against each other, and as Amane pecked at her lips to enjoy the smooth sensation, he could hear the faint sound of Mahiru’s ticklish giggling.
It was a voice that nobody else could pick up on—a voice that they alone could hear.
Amane wanted to hear more of her voice, so their kisses, which had only been a faint nibble of the lips until now, grew stronger. Deeper and deeper, they kissed, as if seeking out the heat within each other, and their connection grew even stronger. Sharing heat, kissing each other heartily like this was something they hadn’t gotten used to, but even so, Mahiru had certainly accepted Amane.
Every time a sweet, muffled voice that sounded like it was stuck in her throat leaked out of the corner of her mouth, Amane felt a rush of arousal that he couldn’t even begin to describe.
He was aware that what he was doing was simple, but now that he’d come this far, the fever-like feeling was steadily accumulating, and Amane’s momentum was building up as if something was pushing him from behind.
The stiffness of Mahiru’s slender body had long since vanished. In fact, she was leaning against Amane’s body lightly, as if her strength had been sucked away. Just the thought of her soft limbs touching him through her thin negligee made him hopelessly, dearly, and longingly, reach out his hand to her.
When he touched her hips through the negligee with the hand he had been embracing her with, Mahiru trembled slightly, a reaction that only Amane, who was kissing her, could notice.
Amane gently stroked her hips with his palm, and just from that, Mahiru twitched and wriggled her body slightly. There was no sign of her running away. She simply took in the invasion of Amane’s palm.
That fact fueled his inner passion and eagerness above all else.
Amane’s palm naturally soared up Mahiru’s body, and almost entirely instinctively, she quivered long before Amane reached anything truly sensitive.
Suddenly, Amane realized just what he was about to do. He stopped moving his palm in a hurry and stopped savoring her lips to create some distance between him and Mahiru, but instead, she buried her face in Amane’s chest of her own accord. Her face was completely flushed, and she was teary-eyed.
Mahiru’s hand, which Amane had thought would push him away, was placed on top of his. It was as if she were telling him not to let go with the gentle pressure of her delicate palm.
“...Erm, I do not intend to retract what I said before… when I asked to stay the night.”
The slightly muffled voice emerging from within his chest had certainly spun such words before, but this time, it was Amane who had tensed his body.
His eyes met Mahiru’s as she glanced up at him.
Mahiru’s face was stained a deep red due to their kisses, and in her expression, he could see that she was begging him to not stop. Her caramel-coloured pupils were so wet, as she nervously observed Amane’s next move, that she looked like she would start shedding sweet teardrops at any moment.
Amane swallowed hard without thinking.
Mahiru would probably—no, definitely—accept what Amane was about to do. So much so, that even if it meant giving up something precious, something that Mahiru could only surrender once, Amane believed that she would accept his wishes and gladly offer it to him.
That was just how much she trusted him—how much she loved him.
Even Amane had his pride, though.
Was it truly okay for him to respond to her trust, and her love, by continuing down this path?
Endlessly, all sorts of conflicting thoughts swirled around inside his mind. The desire that was eagerly urging on his body and the desire to love her from the bottom of his heart. Both of these feelings were clashing in his mind, shattering his sanity.
Mahiru shuddered as he exhaled.
She was clearly leaving everything about what would happen next to Amane, so she was feeling anticipation and anxiety thinking about where things could lead.
Women often had no choice but to accept the repercussions of situations like these, as their bodies tended to be small and frail. And, if something were to happen, they would be the ones carrying the burden.
Considering that, Amane’s answer was clear.
“Well, you see…”
“Y-Yes?”
“As for how I feel, I want to make you mine, Mahiru.”
“...Yes.”
As for how long Amane had been waiting for the day to come when he and Mahiru would be united, she likely had no idea.
No matter how much Amane would be teased or laughed at by Itsuki and the others for his decision, he fought to retain his control, even knowing that he naturally had desires of his own, and he’d even dreamed of them before. Ever since they started dating, he’d distracted himself with crude delusions in order to comfort himself, despite the immense guilt he felt while doing it.
Even so, the reason Amane hesitated to extend his hand further was wholly due to him fixing his gaze on the future.
“...But, you know. Erm, I’m not old enough to take responsibility just yet, and if something happened, you would be the one troubled. Well, of course I would take responsibility if something did happen, but it’s not like I can promise a legally definite relationship right away.”
There was only one way for him to take responsibility.
The only problem was that, in accordance with the law, one could not get married until they were eighteen years of age.
If something were to happen during the act, a baby would be born during their times as a student. No matter how much knowledge he gained and how many countermeasures he were to take, it would only reduce the likelihood of conception, not eliminate it.
If that were to happen, it would affect Mahiru’s life in the future, and there could be people who would judge her harshly for it. Amane would only be hurting her. In turn, it’d be possible that Mahiru would give up on her own past hopes and dreams for her own life.
There was no way Amane could sacrifice Mahiru’s future to satisfy this single momentary impulse.
“It’s precisely because I love you, Mahiru, that I want to put you first. In the future, once you find things that you want to do or study, I don’t want to interfere with those goals. We will spend a lot of time together from now on, and considering that, I think that your life shouldn’t be dictated by the feelings and desires of a single moment right now.”
“...I see.”
“I am fully prepared to spend the rest of my life with you, Mahiru. It’s just that, I…”
“Anything more than this is fine, you know?”
He thought Mahiru had cut him off to call him a coward, but she gave him an innocent smile, like she was troubled and yet blessed with an unexpected happiness.
“I understand that you are very considerate of me, Amane-kun, and that you love me very deeply. To be cherished this much… I’m so, so happy.”
Mahiru, who giggled as if she was satisfied from the bottom of her heart, lightly kissed Amane and smiled once more as their faces nearly touched.
“...I love this side of you, Amane-kun… from the bottom of my heart!”
This time, it was Amane who kissed the one dearest to him, a lovely girl whose smiles overflowed with more happiness than anyone else, as he once more wrapped her small body within his arms.
“Could you please wait until I can take responsibility?”
Seemingly aware of Amane’s inner conflict, Mahiru lowered her eyes ever so slightly before nodding with a bashful smile and diving deep into Amane’s chest.
Mahiru had undoubtedly been greeted by the loud thumping of his heart.
“Then, I shall save myself until the time comes,” Mahiru announced in a voice so gentle and brimming with contentment that anyone would be able to say that she was wholeheartedly overjoyed. Then she looked up a little from Amane’s chest and showed him a smile completely full of happiness.
Amane hugged Mahiru again and whispered, “I’ll make sure to treasure you,” and gently felt the comforting heat and softness of her body.
Of course, Amane had no regrets about his choice. He hadn’t lied about wanting to take good care of her. He was fully prepared to make her happy for the rest of his life.
That said, his body just couldn’t handle it any longer, so he wanted her to cut him a little bit of slack—just this once.
“...Hey.”
“Yes?”
“Can I say something shameful?”
“Please do. As the one that I love, I shall accept your cool side, your shameful side, and your every request.”
Though he was subtly flustered by Mahiru’s tolerant attitude, Amane kissed her on the nape of her neck, steeled himself, and began speaking.
“...Well, you see... Can I touch you? …Just a little.”
He had no intention of wasting his resolve. There was no way he would break his vow.
He just wanted her to let him slightly alleviate the desires that were swarming inside his head.
Mahiru seemingly did not expect Amane’s request, and her eyes blinked and flickered greatly, before she blushed a clear red.
However, it wasn’t the color of rejection, but of approval, and after looking up at Amane in embarrassment, she kept her eyes downcast.
“...P-Please, be gentle with me.”
Perhaps it was foolish of him to think that there was even a faint hint of anticipation in her whispering voice. Nevertheless, Amane bit down his joy at her acceptance, gently took Mahiru’s hand and dropped his body down onto the bed.
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