Their Little Secret
Mahiru sat alone in the bathtub, her knees drawn close to her chest. Alone with her thoughts, she fought desperately to resist the urge to scream, overwhelmed by the vivid scenarios playing out in her mind about what was soon to happen.
Even though I proposed the idea myself, I’m like this.
“…Tonight, is it okay if I don’t go home…?” After mustering up her courage, Mahiru had uttered these words on the final night of the cultural festival. Amane, despite his significant hesitation, agreed to her request nonetheless.
Unlike their time at Amane’s family home, she had made up her mind to spend the night together as lovers—a sentiment Amane appeared to grasp. In the early days of their relationship, he would have adamantly declined, his face flushing red with embarrassment. Now, however, he accepted her request, albeit with great reluctance. This showed that his feelings for Mahiru had deepened to a point where he could no longer turn a blind eye to his love and desire for her.
While Mahiru knew that she wasn’t exactly well-versed about such matters, being more on the ignorant side for a girl of her age, by no means was she completely clueless. She understood the desires that a man like Amane could have and how desperately he tried to suppress them, accepting it as a matter of course. He pushed his urges to the wayside out of his love for her, but he was holding on by a thread. Mahiru was aware that the possibility of intimacy would skyrocket once they decided to spend the night together. She was aware that, should something happen to snap that thread, she would soon become dessert. Still, that possibility was one she was prepared for, and thus, she pleaded to spend time with Amane.
…It’s not as if I want to go on the offensive or anything.
Just remembering what she had said made her so embarrassed that she submerged her mouth in the bath and bubbled out her shame with her breath. Yet, as the realization of her outrageous statement and the current situation gradually sunk in, her embarrassment only grew further.
Mahiru had stayed in the bath to take care of her body after Amane got out first. It was just her usual routine, but from Amane’s perspective, it might seem like she was putting in extra effort. While it may sound like an unnecessary excuse, she hadn’t asked to stay over because she wanted to engage in love-making activities. She wanted to be by his side and feel his warmth, to make up for the lack of Amanium she felt during the cultural festival. She wasn’t necessarily seeking out that specific act. Understanding that there was a high chance of being loved both physically and emotionally as a result of their intimacy, she was willing to accept things as they came.
“…Uuu,” she groaned, her voice muffled and echoing in the bathroom. Despite her resolve, the embarrassment rising inside her was uncontrollable. Mahiru was just like any other girl her age. It wasn’t as if she never had such fantasies of her own. She guessed why Amane sometimes uncomfortably moved away during moments of close contact. When that happened, she would occasionally notice the presence of a certain something. Due to this, or perhaps thanks to it, she faintly imagined Amane proving his love for her physically.
Mahiru’s knowledge didn’t extend to information about that something. Her understanding was limited to health textbooks and shoujo manga borrowed from her friend Chitose. While she understood the mechanics of sexual intercourse, she failed to visualize it in her mind. Her scarce knowledge led her to imagine only being touched, hugging naked, or wrapped in sheets. Even so, for Mahiru, it was quite stimulating, enough to overload her mind. The thought that something even more intense could happen to her made her heart race uncontrollably.
She instinctively held her chest. Beyond the soft plumpness, she felt a mighty pulse coming from her heart. She was aware that the strain on her heart was half due to tension and half due to anticipation, her embarrassment still burning within.
…I do want to respond to him. I do, but…
She understood very well that Amane was extremely reserved and cautious, respecting her to the point of not making a move. His hidden desires were not just physical urges but stemmed from his genuine love for her. That’s why Mahiru wanted to respond to him, to entrust herself to him completely, to be loved in body and soul, to become Amane’s. Still, even then, she couldn’t say for certain that she had no resistance to it at all.
…Oh, right, I must leave the bath soon. I know that Amane-kun might feel awkward otherwise.
While Mahiru agonized and squirmed about in the bath, Amane would be waiting in the living room. She didn’t want to keep him waiting. Her heart still unsettled, she convinced herself to let things happen as they would and stepped out of the bathtub.
Whatever happens, happens.
After letting the droplets clinging to her body be gently absorbed by the towel, Mahiru applied body milk to her skin and proceeded with her facial skincare routine. She had to be careful not to be too enthusiastic in her preparations, so as not to make it obvious, but she couldn’t help but be thorough in checking her body. While confirming the super soft, glossy texture of her skin after the bath, she glanced at the change of clothes in the basket. She had brought two types of nightwear.
One was a knee-length negligee with a lace cardigan, chosen with the anticipation of Amane’s preferences. The negligee left her décolletage exposed, but the fabric was not see-through and nicely accentuated her body line—not too much, not too little. The cardigan, worn over it, moderated the level of exposure. It was evident from Amane’s usual demeanor that he preferred such clothing, favoring modest attire that maintained a sense of elegance over those that blatantly emphasized sexuality. In other words, he liked things that were tidy and chaste.
Considering that, I should probably seal this one away.
She glanced briefly at the other set she’d prepared, hidden underneath as if to conceal it, and fabricated excuses in her mind. She had—just in case—prepared something for when one thing led to another. It truly was just in case. Mahiru had bought it encouraged by Chitose’s insistence that “it wouldn’t hurt to have one just in case he initiated things.” The other negligee—or rather, lingerie—was incomparably more sensual than the first. It was something Mahiru would never wear in her right mind. The fabric, being sheer, was transparent and its design would easily reveal what should be hidden with a slight shift. It seemed far too unreliable.
In her mind, appearing in front of Amane wearing that would be coming on too strong—it would scream eagerness and likely repel him. Besides, wearing such an embarrassing garment was unthinkable. While it had been Chitose’s idea, and Mahiru still felt foolish for even buying it, she feared the part of herself that might actually wear it to please Amane.
L-Let’s go with the cardigan today…
The fact that I even purchased something like this…does that not make me incredibly naughty? Steering away from that line of thought, she reached for the more modest negligee.
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