Chapter 1 – Part 1 – You’re coming to meet me
「You definitely did it on purpose didn’t you! You rotten, flat-chested, glasses wearing girl with braids!」
It’s lunch time. I’m at the reading space in the library. And there, I—Amatsuyu Kisaragi, aka Jouro, stood up and let out an angry voice with everything I had at the girl in front of me.
「Ara? 1 Even though I’m just imitating you, those are some harsh words.」
This girl—Sumireko Sanshokuin, aka Pansy, completely ignored my angry voice and sat down on a chair next to me.
「The stuff that you do to me is way more cruel!」
…….Now then, if you just saw this situation, then you might think that I’m just some bastard suddenly yelling at this girl, but hold up. Don’t be hasty.
Sure, it’s true that I do have a reputation for being intolerant of others.
However, even a intolerant2 person like me wouldn’t angrily yell at a girl for no reason.
And so, let me briefly explain the reason behind this situation.
This girl, tried to get me to lick the shoes that she is wearing.
After this girl said “Please me”, things became like this. Of course I would get mad.
Thinking about it normally, is there any healthy, big breasts loving high school boys who would embarrass themselves by licking some shoes after being told “Please me”? The answer is no! 100% a no!
「I can’t put up with you today!」
Now is the time to unleash all of the anger that I’ve accumulated since the prologue of the first volume! Prepare yourself!
「……I see. Sorry.」
「In the first place you…….What?」
Oi. Don’t just act so unexpectedly all of a sudden.
Everyday, regardless of how much I scold her, regardless of how angry I am at her, Pansy never reflects on it but…… that Pansy is…….. she’s actually apologizing!
「What the…… Why are you apologizing all of a sudden….」
Fundamentally, Pansy isn’t the type of person that says sorry. Being stubborn and selfish, she’s the kind of person who starts pouting immediately when things don’t go how she wants. And then, if you multiply just her pouting, she becomes the absolute worst girl who harasses me.
For a girl like that to apologize to me……. Spears might fall out of the sky tomorrow…..3
「Well of course I would. Since I already understand your true wish, doing something that goes against it….. Also, as for the harassment, no matter how you think about it it’s my bad.」
My wish. It’s a simple one, I just want to see this girl’s true appearance.
Usually, Pansy has her hair styled with simple braids, wears really lame glasses, and has a chest that’s practically as flat as a plank of wood. She exceeds all 3 important conditions for being a Showa4 girl, but actually this girl has another appearance.
When I see that appearance, I’m “happy”.
「I’m seriously the worst aren’t I……. Making you happy with a method like this, though I don’t have any other choice……」
Pansy untied her braids, took off her glasses, and loosened the cloth wrapped around her chest, and after seeing her other appearance, even if I said my assessment of her appearance took a 180 degree turn, it wouldn’t be an overstatement.
Shoulder length hair that shined as if it was silk, calm and gentle eyes, a well proportioned nose, and slightly small but lovely lips.
Improving on everything, this figure has a wonderful style.
Let me just say this clearly, this girl is the most beautiful girl in the world to me (if you don’t factor in her personality).
…….Though it’s not possible to say that to the person in question.
By the way, the king of idiots who got tricked into promising to “visit the library everyday” by the beautiful face of this ideal girl a week ago is me.
Since then, even though I didn’t see this appearance, I continued to bravely visit the library everyday, so this is a justified reward.
Now then, back to the main subject.
「O-oh…..」
At any rate, being dumbfounded by Pansy’s super unexpected behaviour, I sat down on a chair.
「But, there is something I want you to listen to.」
Uwa….. It seems like her apologetic eyes regained their liveliness, and she’s now staring at me….
Replacing her toxicity, an unpleasant feeling started to pour out.
「……What is it?」
「The things I like about you.」
People with good judgement might’ve been able to reach this conclusion from that but, Pansy…… is unbelievably in love with me.
「The things you like?」
By the way, I can say for sure that I hate everything about Pansy (with the exception of her appearance).
Why would you hate a beautiful girl you ask? Well, her personality is….
「Yes. If it’s Jouro-kun, then it doesn’t matter if you look at me with the eyes of a pig if I use my body as bait to butter you up. After all, if it’s like this then things will never change right?」
Casually speaking ill of me, I was troubled by her extremely annoying personality.
Do you think there’s any girl who treats the guy she loves like a pig in this world? Well, there’s one right here.
「However, I don’t like showing other people that appearance. Other people might come into the library. That’s why what do you think about finding a different place where I can show you that appearance?」
「A new place? Where would we even go.」
As if to say “I was waiting for this question!”, Pansy’s eyes lit up brightly.
「That’s true. A place where no one else will come, and it’s just the two of us………………….. I know a perfect place~」
「Where?」
「Your room.」
「Are you serious……. You’re more of a closet pervert than I imagined……. Oww!」
In an instant, Pansy threw a book with her right hand and my face burned with intense pain.
Checking out the source of the pain with teary eyes, “Records of Insect Fables”5 was written on top.
「You deserved to be punished and hit by the fable for having such a lewd misunderstanding. I just want to come over and hang out. You can understand as something as simple as that right?」
Hey, you know “punishment” means “to spray air freshener”, not “use the Records of Insect Fables as a deadly weapon you know. You can understand something as simple as that right?6
「I’m looking forward to going to your room.」
Completely not worried about my agony, she brought both of her hands to her chest while speaking with an uninterested tone.
Moving forward with positive thinking is her specialty, but let me teach you that there’s some things you can’t forcefully move along.
「Ow ow ow……… You better not come.」
「Why not? In order to appeal to your parents as a fresh and stylish girl, I’m wearing black socks right now, and I’ve also prepared some white panties so there’s no way I’ll mess up you know?」
There’s a lot of things wrong with that though.
「I’ll say it one more time. Do not come.」
「Ara? Is this about the length of my skirt? I guess there’s no helping it. I’ll make it 2cm shorter than usual—-」
「I’ll say it as many times as I have to. You better not come.」
「………..How cruel~」
Tch. Do you think I’ll give you permission if you act depressed like that? There’s no way in hell.
I’d like to see Pansy try to get into my room. In any case, she better not do anything reckless.
If my various hobbies that I don’t want anyone to find out about are exposed to her, then she’ll use them as material for ridiculing me, or criticizing me……. Aah, let’s stop thinking about this already. It’s giving me the shivers.
「Hey, isn’t it fine?」
「It’s not fine.」
Pansy, who doesn’t know when to give up, brought her chair and body closer to my side.
Because of that, her characteristic gentle aroma tickled the insides of my nostrils, but that didn’t coax me.
「If you act kindly, there might be a wonderful reward waiting for you, you know?」
Hoho, the fluttering appeal from Ryunosuke Akutagawa’s7 “The Spider’s Thread”, has come huh?
In other words, a single thread hanging from the heavens……. or so it’s pretending to be.
「Is it just my imagination or will I end up falling into hell?」
「Please be relieved. I’ll be there waiting for you.」
Does there even exist a high school boy in this world that can stay calm when their room is turned into hell?
「I see. It’s fine if you don’t wait, so just obediently return home.」
「…….Please. I really want to go to your room.」
Pansy gripped onto the cuff of my uniform, and pulled on it tightly while she pleaded. Very annoying.
「So insistent. It’s irritating so hurry and give up.」
「……………I see. I understand.」
More dejected than before, Pansy let go of her grip on me. I won’t be depressed seeing an outer appearance like that~
「Well then, it’s very regrettable but, I’ll give up on going to the pigsty.」
Alright. If that line has been said then it’s definitely my win here, oink~.
Though I don’t really know why, Pansy doesn’t ever lie to me, oink~.
There’s a lot of things I don’t understand about her but, when it comes to just this one aspect, I can believe in her, oink~.
*grunt grunt*
「That’s it then. I do like your true appearance, but I really hate your personality.」
「That’s how it is. I don’t like your appearance, but I love your personality.」
Whether this girl actually loves me or not is still very questionable, but whatever.
Now, let me praise myself for preventing my own room from becoming hell.
「Aight, I’m going.」
Now then, I won’t be seeing that appearance anymore today so let’s hurry and run away.
If I stay here any longer, the probability that my room becomes hell will rapidly grow.
「Yes. Thank you for talking with me today as well. I really enjoyed it~」
Pansy said that with a satisfied tone towards me as I stood up from my chair and headed towards the library’s exit.
Although I can’t help but be displeased, this is not a situation I want to continue.
TL Notes
1 Ara here being like “Oh?”, but I left it as is because the effect is different. ara arararaaaa
2 In the previous sentence, the word for intolerant is 器の小さい, where 器 can mean bowl / container, and 小さい means small. In this sentence the author writes 小鉢な俺, where 小鉢 is the word for a small bowl and afaik 小鉢 is not used as an adjective, so this has to be a pun. Unfortunately this doesnt translate well, at least for me. :shrug: I tried.
3 Similar to the expression, “Hell must’ve froze over”, which means like it’s impossible, or very unlikely, etc.
4 The Showa-era, from 1926 to 1989
5 Reference to the book from the first few chapters of the 1st volume.
6 Okay so here, the word used for Fable (ファーブル) is very close if not basically the same as the slang word (ファブる) which means to spray Febreeze from what I’ve gathered. Weird japanese puns.
7 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ry%C5%ABnosuke_Akutagawa
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