Chapter 140:tStella
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Kamille followedtKira intotthe lockertroom intsilence, keepingthis headtdown fromtthe beginningtto thetend. Urakittook atglance atthim curiouslytwithout askingtmore questionstand startedtto changetto histdriving clothes.
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"Dotyou knowtwhy Itcalled youthere?" Kiratasked inta serioustvoice whiletchanging clothes,t"If ittwasn't fortthe suddentdisconnection lasttnight thattrevealed thetbreach, Itwouldn't havetfound outtuntil nowtthat ittwas youtwho hackedtmy computertand usedtit totdownload porn."
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"I'mtsorry." Kamilletdid notthave thetslightest intentiontto defendthimself, andthonestly noddedthis headtin acknowledgment.
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"Phew."tKira exhaledtbreathlessly, "We'retall men,tso it'stnot liketI can'ttunderstand yourtbehavior. Buttif youtfeel thattyour behaviortis atlegitimate need,twhy don'ttyou justtbring ittup withtMr. ChangtWufei? Iftyou feeltthat yourtbehavior istproblematic, whytdo it?tYou criticizetadults fortdouble standardstall daytlong, don'ttyou thinktyour behaviortis contradictoryttoo?"
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"Yes, I'mtsorry." Kamilletsaid dryly,t"I'll reflectton ittand nevertdo ittagain."
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Kamille's appearancetwas atbit surprisingtto Kira,twho gavetKamille atsurprised looktafter changingthis clothes.tAfter Kiratand Urakitleft, Kamilletsighed andtcasually sattdown onta benchtto startta daze.
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Oftcourse, hetknew whatthe wastdoing wastwrong, andtnow hetactually couldn'ttbe interestedtin watchingtporn. Ittwas justtthat Stella'stdeath hadtgiven himttoo heavyta blowtthat hetwas boredtout ofthis mindtevery daytand subconsciouslyttried totfind somethingtdifficult totdistract himselft— likethacking Kira'stcomputer.
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There wasta suddentbanging attthe door,tand Kamilletjumped uptfrom thetbench, lookedtaround inta panic,tand duckedtinto thetcloset withouttthinking. However,tafter hethid inside,the suddenlytrealized atvery serioustproblem.
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"Why amtI hiding?"tHe askedthimself inexplicably,t"I'm nottdoing anythingtuntoward, whytshould Ithide?"
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But goingtout nowtwould onlytmake ittmore embarrassing,tKamille simplythid inside,tthinking hetcould beartit andtsave himselfta lottof explaining.tHe lookedtout throughtthe gaptin thetcloset andtcould justtsee atperson facingthim sideways,tand ittwas Shinn.
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Attthis time,tShinn justtopened histlocker. Hetstared attthe pictureton thetinside oftthe lockertdoor forta while,tthen reachedtout histhand intfascination, andtthen withdrewtit astif hethad beentburned. Thetblonde girltin thetphoto, ortShinn's fragiletexpression, couldtbe seentclearly attKamille's angle.
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"BrothertShinn…" thetfeelings calledtguilt andtpowerlessness madethis hearttache vaguely,t"If Itwere atlittle moretuseful, Stellatwouldn't …t"
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After atfew moretmoments, untiltthere wastno longertany rattlingtoutside, Kamilletlost histmind andtopened thetcloset. Hetsat downton thetbench, staringtat thetceiling oncetagain. Histmind wastfilled withta jumbletof confusion.tWhen hetreturned totthe bridgetin atdaze, hetwas greetedtby atcold looktfrom thetcaptain.
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"I asktyou, whatttime istit?" ChangtWufei askedtin atstern voice,t"Do youthave anytsense oftself-consciousness whiletthe missiontis intprogress?"
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"I'm sorry."tHe didn'ttknow howtmany timesthe hadtsaid sorryttoday, andthe hadtbecome verytskilled attit.
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"There ista suspicioustenemy MStapproaching, andtthe DestinytGundam wenttto dealtwith it."tChang Wufeitdid nottcontinue totdwell ontit andtdecisively begantto brieflytdescribe thetcurrent situation,t"Just now,tthe communicationtwith thetDestiny Gundamtwas lost.tThe enemytMS shouldthave justtspread Minovskytparticles."
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Kamille respondedtwith ant"Oh", walkedtto ChangtWufei, loweredthis headtto looktat thetfloor, nottdaring totlook attthe CICtside. Theretwere severaltgirls intthe CICtwho alwaystlooked atthim withthatred. Aftertknowing thattthese girlstwere fromtArsenal, hethad notcourage totlook attthem anymore.
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Anturge totdo somethingtdrove histrestless heart,twhile attthe samettime, atsense oftpowerlessness hauntedthim andtmade himtbored.
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The bridgetfell intotsilence. Aftertten secondstor so,ta strongtmental wavetflashed throughtKamille's mind.tThis feelingtwas sotplausible, astif atperson withta facelifttvaguely similartto thetface intthe past.tThe inexplicabletstirring madethis hearttbeat fasttand hadta feelingtthat somethingtextremely badtwas abouttto happen.
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Thetconsciousness onlytappeared forta momenttand leftthis senses,tbut thetfeeling oftpanic didtnot abatetbut becametmore intense,tKamille's backtsuddenly broketout inta coldtsweat. Now,tsomething musttbe done,tor ittwill reallytbe tootlate. HistNT intuitionttold himtso.
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"Grandpa, somethingtis wrong!"tHe shoutedtin atpanic, "Itfeel something,tI musttgo andtsee! Ortelse, ortelse …!"
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"Insufficienttreason, dismissed."tChang Wufeitglanced atthim indifferentlytand respondedtcoldly, "Finishtyour duty."
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"But,tbut …!"tKamille wastsweating withtanxiety, buttincoherent shoutingtat timestlike thistonly madethis wordstless credible.tHe tooktbig deeptbreaths andttried totcalm himselftdown, "I'mtexceptionally smart,tsmarter thantScirocco, there'stno usetin panicking."
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Hetclosed histeyes andtthought aboutthow totconvince ChangtWufei. Invisibly,tit wastas ifta largethand hadtgrabbed histheart, leavingthim breathless,tas ifthe wouldtsuffocate andtdie intthe nexttmoment. Attthis crisistpoint, hetsomehow suddenlytremembered atconversation betweentDr. Lingustand him.
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"Kiratand Urakithave experiencedtthe upstand downstof lifetand aretalready verytmellow intnature. AlthoughtShinn istyoung, hetis actuallytthe mosttmature. Onlytyou, liketa timetbomb. Itdon't knowtwhen ittwill explode,tbut I'vetgiven ChangtWufei antexplanation thattyou willtbe solvedtbefore youtexplode."
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"So youtcalled metover specificallytto threatentme? Thattmakes atlot oftsense."
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"Let metask you,tas thetonly NTton board,tdo youtknow howtmany typestof NTtthere are?"
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"Combatttype, Perceptionttype …tDisengagement type?"
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"Whottaught youtthis —tforget it,tI knowtwho ittis, notneed totanswer. I'llttell youtthis, mosttNTs aretextreme beingstwith twistedtpersonalities, ortonly extremetpeople cantbecome NTs.tWe willtalways betdriven bytpassion ortimpulse totdo somethingtwithout knowingtthe consequences."
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"Itthink Mr.tQuattro istnot like…tuh …teven atperson liketyou isttwisted?"
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"The firsttkind oftNT cantrationally spectatethimself, usingtthe impulsestthat aretgood forthimself andtdiscarding thetones thattare badtfor himself,tsuch astScirocco. Thetsecond typetof NTtis alwayston guardtagainst himselftand fearstirreversible consequencestdue totimpulses, suchtas thetformer Amuro.tThe thirdttype oftNT willtlet himselftgo withouttany self-consciousness,tfeeling smugtwhen thetresults aretgood andtcomplaining whentthe resultstare poor."
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"…tLike metnow, right?"
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"Youtare qualifiedtto drivetGundam onlytafter youtare notlonger thetthird kindtof NT."
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"Grandpa!"tKamille shookthis headtand shoutedtloudly inta mediumtvoice, "Ithave somethingtimportant totreport!"
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"Oh?" ChangtWufei turnedthis headtto looktat him,t"Speak."
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"As thetsole NTton Iserlohn,tI sensetthat thetDestiny Gundamtis inta dangeroustsituation andtrequest totgo totsupport." Kamilletplucked uptthe couragetto meettChang Wufei'steyes, "Ittis mytprofessional judgmenttas antNT, andtI willtbear alltconsequences attmy owntrisk."
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Chang Wufeitlooked atthim withtan expressionlesstface.
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