Monogatari Series - Volume 6 - Chapter 7.13

013

The epilogue, or maybe, the punch line of this story.

Stuff that happened before I was roused from bed by my sisters as usual the next day.

Kagenui left the ruins with Ononoki on her back─obviously as soon as she set one foot outside, she could no longer touch the ground, so she walked away atop a series of walls, fences, guardrails, and such. Her sprightly movement and sense of balance remained impeccable even with Ononoki on her back. After sinking my teeth into Shinobu’s neck and taking my blood back, returning her to little-girl form and getting me as close to human as possible, I got on my bike and rode home with her in the front basket.

By the way, Ononoki left with her clothes in tatters, but I wasn’t nearly brave enough to pedal home butt-naked─needless to say, before returning Shinobu to little-girl form, I asked her to use her Create Matter skill to whip me up a set of clothes. She had good taste but could be unnecessarily upscale, so it took a fair amount of time for us to reach an agreement.

“I can’t wear clothes this flamboyant! Can’t you make something more normal?!”

“My pride does not permit me to create mere fast fashion! While I am coordinating thy habiliments, ye shan’t look slatternly!”

Remember, we were having this epic debate at night in an abandoned building, after the two-man cell had already left.

That was why it took us so long to get home.

Come to think of it, over that spring break when I went through hell, Tsukihi had texted a question to me: Where was it that Mytyl and Tyltyl found the blue bird of happiness?

Obviously I didn’t reply, but even I knew the answer to that.

In their own home.

So my blue bird had been you two─the Fire Sisters.

When I arrived home (Shinobu had returned to my shadow by then) with that cool thought, Karen, still standing by the front hall, was arguing with her parents.

Her parents.

In other words, they were also my mother and father.

“You will not pass! The only one who is allowed to is my brother!”

……

This was all because of me.

My orders had been so narrow that Karen and my parents─nah, how the heck was it my fault?

Karen was the real thing, a real moron.

She was like a badly designed game script. I ended up wasting even more time then and there explaining to our parents why our front door had been destroyed.

Not that I had any real explanation to offer them.

I just made up some nonsense excuses as I’d done with Karen─obviously my parents didn’t accept them as readily as she did, but being realists, they never dreamed the destruction might actually be the work of a shape-shifter (they seemed to suspect Karen was pranking them, as if something of this level could still be classified as such). In the end, though, I brought them around.

Indeed, my parents seemed to consider the fact that Karen had changed her hairstyle for the first time in ten years the more important matter─I was a little worried that she might pin the blame for that on me. However…

“Huh? What are you talking about? Wasn’t it always like this?”

Karen, herself, sounded confused.

She’d already forgotten her ponytail era.

My sister really did worry me sometimes.

But─that was also the side of her that saved me at times.

In any case, once my parents began scolding Karen in earnest, I snuck away to the second floor.

To my other little sister, Tsukihi Araragi.

Tsukihi, for her part, was lying on the top bunk, still asleep like she’d been before I headed out, just like I told her.

Dressed in a yukata in place of pajamas.

With the left side over the right, my mistake intact.

Dammit, at least fix that.

Shidenotori.

Aberration, bird of omen, lesser cuckoo.

However much I tried to hide the truth, the time might come, perhaps through some accident where she suffered an injury serious enough to remove a piece of her body (indeed, much as I had suffered several times during my battle with Kagenui), when Tsukihi would discover what she was─but until that day came, just as I had told Kagenui, I would keep the truth about my little sister hidden safe in my heart.

If justice practiced by those who could not die was nothing but a fiasco, then likely Tsukihi, with an aberration from the sacred realm residing in her, had forfeited her claim to that principle. Even if she attempted to do justice, as with Shinobu and me, it would only be an obscene, purging justice.

It would be a heartless justice.

The human heart is not a vessel to fill with things but a fire to blaze and kindle─well said.

Brood parasitism.

Kagenui was probably right─maybe she did have justice on her side.

At the very least, not many people watching a TV segment on the rearing behavior of cuckoos would find it pleasant.

The inefficient breeding method known as brood parasitism would seem crafty and underhanded to most.

I’m pretty sure that would be my simple view of it, too.

Still, though.

Tsukihi wasn’t like the cuckoo, little or otherwise.

To say the least─she’d never tried to push Karen or me out of the nest.

She’d always been our little sister.

From the moment she was born─always.

Real or fake, she was still just, and real or fake, she was our sister.

Even if she wasn’t just, she was family.

The Fire Sisters.

My little sisters, my pride and joy.

So let me bother to answer now the question Ononoki asked me.

Even if it’s full of fakes─I think it’s a wonderful world.

Let that be my contrarian reply.

A la Deishu Kaiki.

“I was nervous you were going to kiss me again, but I guess not.”

Tsukihi had suddenly spoken.

At some point her eyes had sprung open. She looked as sleepy as ever with her drooping eyes, but it wasn’t because she’d just woken up. Apparently, she’d only been pretending to be asleep.

What a radical cue.

“If you did try to kiss me, I was going to ensnare you with my tongue,” she revealed.

“That sounds like something some kind of monster would do.”

“Morning. Welcome back. Where were you?”

“Ah. Actually, I was off fighting a monstrous human and a humanoid monster for your sake.”

“Oh yeah? Good work. Don’t overdo it, though.”

“Let me. I do it out of love.”

“I know, I know. Our big brother loves us so much.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth. I hate you both.”

“Anyway, Koyomi, how long do I have to stay like this? You told me to sleep so I’ve been trying my hardest.”

“You guys are way too faithful to directives coming from the likes of me. I really do worry about your futures,” I grumbled, hopping off the ladder. “Sleep until tomorrow. And then tomorrow, come wake me up like you always do.”

“Aye, aye, sir.”

“When summer vacation is over, I’ll introduce you to my girlfriend.”

“Hm?” Tsukihi seized on my words and immediately raised her upper body. “What, you mean you have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Since around May, actually.”

“That makes me dagnabbit mad.”

My back turned to her frank comment and reproachful gaze, I warned, “Don’t go tattling on me,” and stepped out into the hallway. It wouldn’t do to hang out in my sisters’ room for too long, and it wasn’t like me to linger. I’d go back to my room and change.

With everything that had been going on, it was getting pretty late─about time for a gracious monster to bow out.