Monogatari Series - Volume 31 - Chapter 42

Suruga Earthworm

000
“By the way, my Araragi-senpai. You’ve spoken of your regeneration ability as an immortal vampire before, my Araragi-senpai, but if my Araragi-senpai were to be cut right in half through the center like an earthworm, would you become ‘two’ of my Araragi-senpai 'in the style of’ my Araragi-senpai?”

How many times are you going to say “my Araragi-senpai”?

I don’t remember transferring my ownership rights to you.

Like an earthworm, you say… That reminds me, my girlfriend, Senjougahara Hitagi, who used to be a pair with Kanbaru over here, said something similar before… Though they’re completely different types, and they don’t exactly call each other friends, they must still have something in common. But nevertheless, to compare your upperclassman to an earthworm… Does this person actually respect me?

“Aren’t earthworms (mimizu) great? I hear in English they’re called 'earthworms’.”

“Cool.”

“In the first place, not just you, Araragi-senpai, but all humans are kind of like bugs that live in the earth, after all.”

How meaninglessly satirical.

But I wouldn’t let it hurt me–I’d let it pass by like the wind.

“Well, if we’re going that far, then you don’t really have to cut through the center. No matter where you cut, your Araragi-senpai would end up multiplying, anyway. Like Kintarou-ame.”

“Indeed. As long as the 'core’ of the earthworm isn’t destroyed, then no matter where you bisect them, one will become two, two will become four, four will become eight, and so on.”

“Instead of a geometric progression, it’s a worm progression, huh.”

But, a “core”?

What a nostalgic way of putting it.

Anyway, the idea that a cut earthworm would multiply should only be based in folklore.

“But what about that worm progression?”

“Well, Araragi-senpai, if I were to succeed at multiplying you into two–nay, eight of you–then we members of the Araragi Harem would be able to coexist peacefully without need for fighting. That was what this humble Kanbaru came up with.”

I’d been thinking it was just out of curiosity, but her reason was far more frightening than I’d imagined–to think that her aim was not to cut me in half for fun, but to divide me up and share. It’s been a while since we ran into the term Araragi Harem, but even if such an indecent organization were to exist, it’s not like there would be as many as eight members.

“It wouldn’t be weird even if there were sixteen members. After all, the Araragi Harem doubles as a gathering for victims of Araragi Koyomi.”

“If you ask me, it sounds like the members are increasing by a worm progression here.”

Of course, this was all just in theory.

In practice, my body had already been cut up into pieces before during spring break, and the number of “me"s had not increased at all–the same as your ordinary earthworm.

Preservation of the self was the crux of the vampire’s regeneration ability, so when cut into two, only one part would be regenerated, while the other would vanish.

"Wait, but hold on. If I remember correctly, wasn’t there a short story published where Shinobu-chan had split into two people?”

“Wh-what are you talking about? That’s…”

You sure are well-informed, Kanbaru-san.

Well, sorry if we happen to be treading the same ground here.

Anyway, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade may be free to increase or decrease her number of selves as she wishes, but I was but an underling of hers, not to mention a mere shadow of one now.

I could even say I was a “proliferation” of Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade.

Proliferation, or perhaps, reproduction…

“However, while it doesn’t really hit home for me, whether it’s an earthworm or a vampire, their immortality is pretty amazing, isn’t it.”

“That’s for sure. Whether it’s an earthworm (mimizu) or a horned owl (mimizuku).”

“One of those is a bird.”

“Whether it’s a mimizuku or a mimizuku.”

“…Could one of those actually be a bug?”

There are a lot of animals that have the same name, huh. Not to mention there are times where you call the same animal by different names… Biology sure is weird.

“However, Araragi-senpai. If you look at things with a wide point of view, wouldn’t humans be the amazing ones? For a macrocosmic god, humans are just lifeforms on a little fragment called Earth, and yet they managed to form borders and proliferate to over seven billion.”

I see, that actually sounded like a proper point of view rather than satire… But hold on, what’s a macrocosmic god? Aren’t your athlete’s superstitions getting a little too spiritual? Although, it would be hard to deny the spiritual with a world view that included monstrous apparitions.

Even in a narrow point of view, the “specimen” known as the Valhalla Combination, comprised of Senjougahara and Kanbaru, would find themselves going their separate ways–and in a sense, you could say their number increased, but in another sense, they decreased as well.

They were diminished.

Even earthworms–if you continue to chop one up, then someday, its life will end.

The same goes for all types of animals, across the board.

“However, I wonder which one.”

“? Which one?”

“We discussed cutting you right through the center earlier, but Araragi-senpai, if you were to be cut horizontally through your torso, between your upper half and your lower half, which of them will regenerate and which of them will vanish? If it’s a matter of self-preservation, then which one is the 'self’ of Araragi-senpai?”

Hmm.

Thinking about it, your hair growing or your nails growing could be considered a form of regeneration, but you could hardly say your sense of self was contained in your hair or nails–but couldn’t you?

After all, it’s precisely those parts of the body that are used to test for DNA, which you could say is the proof of one’s individuality.

“Wouldn’t it be the upper half that regenerates? One thinks with their brain, after all.”

“But that theory is based on the assumption that you think at all, isn’t it, Araragi-senpai?”

It was a pretty rude thing to say to someone who was supposedly the leader of a harem. But if we took it one step further, if I were to be cut at the neck, would it be my body that regrows the head or my head that regrows the body?–it reminded me of stem cells.

In that case, what about the hair on the head that contained the brain? Regenerating yourself with just a strand of hair sounded less like cloning technology and more like an anecdote from Journey to the West.

It was hard to weigh.

Did the “soul” reside in the brain, or in the heart?

“In Hanekawa’s case, it feels like hers might be in her heart.”

“Those don’t sound like the words of a person that thinks.”

“For Kanbaru-kouhai, would it be your legs?”

“I wonder. After all, speaking of Journey to the West–the oddity I made a wish to was a monkey, not a vampire.”

Saying that, Kanbaru looked at herself.

Not her legs, but her arms. Her left arm.

“If, at that time, Shinobu-chan had cut off this left arm with that sword–then, between the 'arm’ that gets cut off and the 'me’ that gets cut off. Which one would be the real 'me’?”

If she were going to effectively–or ineffectively–regenerate.

From where would it start?

As a person who’s been chopped up, burned, dragged up, smashed–as a person who’s had all his blood sucked out–as a person whose existence was worth as much as a strand of hair that had been pulled out, I had no way of knowing. For it was doubtful to me, too–the junior that adored me, and the junior that detested me.

Both parts were surely inseparable from the character of Kanbaru Suruga–but a question like that was better off buried deep in the earth with the earthworms.