Monogatari Series - Volume 27 - Chapter 1.21

021

And so, I’d had my fill of the appointment-less trip to my hometown, but it turned out that there being a huge difference between doing something and having it be done to you was not just limited to the dichotomy of receiving and causing harm. When I returned to Manase University by car, I was suddenly called out to by someone with no prior arrangements, making me realize how much of an inconvenience it was to be unwillingly and unexpectedly stopped in my tracks.

Then again, while it may have been sudden, it was a little wrong to say it was unexpected… It was also hard to say it was unwilling. For the sake of actively continuing this apology-related investigation, this was a person I would have to interview at some point, but even if that weren’t the case, this was a person that had come to see me—of course, in order to apologize.

“Araragi-kun? Do you have a moment?”

It was a good-looking guy.

Well, or should I say it was a guy that had once been good-looking?

I could imagine that, if it was a short while ago, perhaps even a few days ago, he would have been a fair, rosy-cheeked pretty boy, but his hair was a mess, his eyes were hollow with dark circles, his cheeks were sunken, and he was even sporting stubble… And for his fashion, if you could even call that fashion, was basically just his sleepwear.

He was in such a state that it made me wonder if he came to school through some secret underground tunnel… Even when he lived in a leaky abandoned building, that Hawaiian-shirt guy could be considered neat and tidy in comparison.

“I wanted to apologize—for Hamukai-san.”

“......”

Basically, this pretty boy, or former pretty boy, was that Boyfie-kun that Meniko had talked about… Now that he’d finished apologizing to everyone from within the club research club, he had finally come looking for the outsiders. I was overjoyed that I was considered Meniko’s friend. At least, I was glad it wasn’t just my assumption.

A related party.

And the perpetrator.

I’d intended to visit him myself at some point, but with him being the one to visit me, there was the distinct feeling of being sucker-punched… I was kind of amazed at my own laid-back plans to do more research at the university library after classes.

Meniko had said that he was in the year above us, but if it weren’t for his haggard, unshaven appearance, he would look fairly young for a university student… He certainly didn’t look like the kind of person that would commit night-crawling, but aha, this was the kind of guy Meniko liked.

Someone who didn’t look like he was older…

Speaking of which, even that guy from the light music club was baby-faced.

As a specialist in child abuse, it was a bit of a concerning trend, but putting that aside… What was the right way to respond in this situation?

#1. Who are you?

#2. Who’s Hamukai-san?

#3. Who’s Araragi-kun?

“Who’s Araragi-kun?”

I ended up picking choice #3, but it seemed he’d conducted a preliminary investigation, as he said, “No, I get it! I’m sure you don’t want to speak to me, Araragi-kun,” ignoring me entirely.

And, not caring about everyone around him, he said,

“I’m so sorry, Araragi-kun! I’ve ended up turning your precious close friend into damaged goods!87 Please, hit me! I want you to hit me!”

and vigorously bowed his head—with a vigor that made him look like he was headbutting the ground.

So I’d made it as far as her close friend.

“No need to hold back! If you want, you can wring my neck! I’ve already written my last will, so you won’t be charged for any crimes, Araragi-kun!”

Of course I’d be charged, no matter what kind of will you wrote.

But this wasn’t the time to be throwing around criminal law… But, perhaps fortunately enough, my discussion with Hachikuji had taken longer than I’d expected, and because I’d arrived appropriately late to my university class, there weren’t a lot of people around… A scene where a worn-out upperclassman was bowing his head to me was guaranteed to be awkward.

Like public humiliation…

“Um, shall we at least go somewhere else? Uh…”

I hadn’t asked for his name yet, had I?

“I have no name. I no longer have the qualifications to refer to myself with my parents’ name, or the name my parents gave me. If you have to call me something, you can call me trash.”

“...Haha.”

I see. He was being quite theatrical.

Even Senjougahara Hitagi had said something about how I should call her Iberian pig… But in his case, it didn’t seem like he was joking… His lifeless eyes shined with a weird light.

They gave off a bewitching light—the ayamarei.88

“Well, I’ve actually been called trash before. From my girlfriend, at that. Isn’t that hilarious?”

As I tried to defuse the situation and move us to a different location, Boyfie-kun grasped my wrist tightly… With a grip strength that made me feel like my wrist would break off.

“I won’t let you go, Araragi-kun. Not until you’ve fully received my apology—not until you’ve hit me. Not until you’ve broken my bones and fractured my skull!”

Even with his head bowed, Boyfie-kun’s eyes were upturned to stare at me—and his eyes were completely glazed over. It might be meaningless to put “more or less” here, but I was more or less a former vampire, so I was capable of shaking him off with brute force, but his intensity made him seem as though he would not allow that. If this were #1. Asymmetric warfare, then right now, I was in the losing position. Far from his own skull, it felt like I would be the one to break here.

“...Okay, okay. Then, let’s just talk here. Let’s talk it out.”

As I spoke to calm him down, I immediately put my ex-vampire talents to good use, putting up a barrier to prevent outside interference—now no one would be able to disturb us, or so I would’ve liked to say, but unfortunately, no such talents remained in the dregs of me.

Rather than a barrier, all I could do was put on airs.

In the first place, I’d never even seen Shinobu put up a barrier before—she had never once cared about receiving unwanted attention. Because she was a king.

So with that, the difficulty rose sharply.

While worrying about my surroundings and without provoking him too much, I had to successfully complete this interview with Meniko’s “perpetrator” Boyfie-kun… But what exactly did success mean in this case?

From what I could tell, despite the shabby atmosphere surrounding Boyfie-kun, there were no traces of him having become a target of violence… There were no plasters or bandages or bruises or bumps. Even though he must have gone around saying the same thing to all the members of his club, it seemed nobody had actually gone and hit him… Well, that made sense.

Who would actually hit him in this situation?

Would you really do something to his skull?

It also felt like he was being deliberate in apologizing dramatically in a public space… Someone shrewd might even say that, by stubbornly refusing to go somewhere else, he was trying to avoid being taken somewhere with no one around and actually getting hit.

Perhaps he’d even made himself look that way on purpose… Intentionally messing up his hair, putting on special-effects makeup for panda-like eyes and a gaunt-looking face, and diligently growing out his stubble… As though trying to appear as hard-to-hit as possible.

Was it just groundless suspicion?

Well, if it was the old Senjougahara Hitagi, she would have gone ahead and hit him with plenty of composure (in fact, she had actually gone and hit Oikura before with all her classmates watching, which had become quite a problem), so the fact that he’d come to me out of all of Meniko’s friends outside her circle could have been strategic, in a way.

If he was apologizing to me, who was so kind and harmless, then perhaps he was using the strategy of #5. Pushing boundaries…

“Maybe so. Never in his wildest dreams would the lad think that he was bowing his head to a harmless, pedophilic, kidnapping, incestuous, child-seat-obsessed bastard.”

I felt like I’d heard an incredible description of some super dreadful criminal being spoken from my shadow, but this was probably just an appeal to me to say, “If push comes to shove, I’ll make my appearance!” It was quite dependable of her, but your time to shine will be a little later.

For now, stay hungry in the comfort of your own space.

“Now! Araragi-kun! Hit me! I won’t rest until you hit me! If I could be forgiven by killing myself, I would gladly do so, but that wouldn’t satisfy Meniko at all! Meniko wants an even harsher punishment for me!”

Even if it had been just a day earlier, I was glad to have heard from Meniko in advance… Thank goodness for that test prep. It was a good learning experience. If a former pretty boy completely unconcerned about his appearance had come at me without me knowing anything about the situation, I would’ve surely been overwhelmed.

It was even possible that I, being the good-natured person that I was, would have taken his words at face value… It was already dangerous to take the words of a perpetrator at face value, but even more so when no crime had even been perpetrated.

“If you ask me, Meniko…”

“Meniko has nothing to do with this! This is a matter between me and you, Araragi-kun! I don’t want to hurt Meniko any further!”

Despite having been the one to bring her up, he was rattling on as though overcome with violent emotion… It was quite a theatrical outburst of emotion.89 Putting aside if I hadn’t heard in advance, even now, when I had heard in advance, this was quite terrifying.

Being poor at Japanese as I was, my descriptive ability may be lacking, so if the state of Boyfie-kun came across as amusing or even comical in any way, then I truly apologize.

Because at the current moment, I was experiencing nothing but fear.

If I could be forgiven for doing so, then I would be fleeing from here as fast as possible—if I could be forgiven. But that was not forgivable.

Even more so today, after I’d recalled my high-schooler self after a brief visit back home.

I couldn’t let him underestimate me.

I was not a harmless, pedophilic, kidnapping, incestuous, child-seat-obsessed bastard—I was someone that even reconciled with a vampire. It’s quite amazing that you would try to talk things out with someone like me.

Meniko had stopped me from doing so, but if that’s your wish, then it’s inevitable.

I’ll wrestle with you in this ring without holding back.

“All right. I’ll hear you out.”

After telling Boyfie-kun that, I sat down right there, right on the ground—it was a declaration of intent to not budge one bit until we came to an agreement. Plus, my trembling knees wouldn’t be able to be seen once I sat down.

Get ready.

I’ll talk things out with you until you cry and apologize.

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it—though I might actually die.”

My line of sight had gotten lower, and since Boyfie-kun had been constantly bowing his head, it was like I was looking at his expression face-to-face. And, with me having sat down without worrying about what others might think, Boyfie-kun was making a face as though he had received the great shock of, “He sat down before me”... Perhaps he had made a plan to prostrate himself when the timing was right.

If that was the case, sorry for you.

As someone who’d prostrated himself for an entire night to a golden-haired young girl, I was one step ahead of you—against this early-morning surprise attack, I’d finally managed to get a counterattack in. A counterattack that didn’t involve actually hitting him.

But this was only the beginning.

“If you’re okay with me, I’ll hear you out—don’t think too badly of me.”