Monogatari Series - Volume 24 - Chapter 2.09

009

Such was Ononoki-chan’s excellence that I wondered if I’ll have anything else to do if this went on (if I don’t, then nothing will top that. Nothing.), but it seems that she only found out where the Beniguchis were, and not how it was inside. The tween girl even said that normally, this wouldn’t be worth reporting.

‘But it seems this time, the rest of you guys alongside Mister Vampy would need to look for Transistor Slender together.’

‘You’ve finally started talking to me like I’m scouting for models.’

‘I rushed back here because I think it’s important that you know the address. I’ll be heading out again soon, and this time I’m going inside their house.’

This really is ‘going back and forth’.

With such speed, then it stands to reason that she doesn’t need to rely on such perks of civilisation that is the mobile phone – she’s basically got the Anywhere Door from Doraemon.

Or the Zoom spell from Dragon Quest.

She may have said she had the know-how in searching for people, but it really could be her on the ground looking at the nameplates on house after house…in fact, if you ask me how she managed to come back so quickly, this would be the only solution I can think of.

‘It really is the next town over. I was originally sceptical about the intel we have – I actually thought “what stays in this room” was a lie, but I didn’t want to rain on Mister Vampy’s parade. But the Beniguchis are a real family and they do exist, and so do their two daughters, Kujaku and Hibari [雲雀, lit. “skylark”].’

‘Mm? How do you know so much?’

‘Because it’s all on the nameplate. Hibari’s name was crossed out, so I deduced that it’s the older sister who moved out. I can also tell you what the parents’ names are, though I’m worried it’ll put Mister Vampy between a rock and a hard place.’

‘A rock and a hard place…’

It might.

Given me, I could easily end up saying ‘I guess it really can be hard being parents’ or ‘parents sometimes just don’t have the time for their kids’ – of course, they are perspectives that do need to be kept in mind, in the same vein as Ononoki-chan’s ten thousand yen example.

If one doesn’t get the ten thousand yen today, tomorrow would never come.

‘What? Are we buying a year five girl for ten grand?’

‘No we’re not. How is that even possible?’

Neither will we be spending any time dwelling on the sale and purchase of year five schoolchildren (I’ve bid adieu to that Araragi-kun a long time ago), but suppose there is something that would no longer be on sale tomorrow, then it’d be no good waiting for the eleven thousand yen tomorrow…I think it’s better to earn that extra thousand yen some other way the next day.

At least, that’s what I’m thinking.

‘It’s fine, tell me the names of the parents too. You never know when it’ll crop up, so I might as well remember them.’

I asked of Ononoki-chan.

I’m not trying to make some grand statement out of this, but now that ‘Mitonon’s senpai from middle school’ has a name, called Beniguchi Hibari, everything seems to jump out more.

The story feels more real.

Up until just now, what seems like something that happened in a faraway world is taking shape – so even though I said I ‘never know when it’ll crop up’ when my hunch is it’ll probably never crop up, I still wanted to know their names.

Besides, though it may not be for insurance, it could act as a sort of brake…an ABS.

To worry about someone so much that I couldn’t think of anything else has happened so many times, it’s starting to get annoying… if I get too hung up on what Ononoki-chan prefers to describe as Transistor Slender to the extent where I end up harming others, then maybe we can abandon ‘father’ and ‘mother’, and see them as individuals; yes.

It wasn’t like that time.

‘Mm, I think that’s proper, Mister Vampy. If anything, if you’d answered “don’t tell me”, I’d have killed you.’

‘Why are you so keen on killing me? If I’m choosing between life and death this often, statistically I’m a dead man by the end of tonight.’

‘Strong words such as “abandonment”, “neglect”, or even “domestic violence” are so strong that any mention of them and people would be inclined to believe you less; nevertheless, it’s important to keep in mind that such atrocities have happened in real life. The father’s name is Beniguchi Mikiyoshi [紅口幹吉, lit. “trunk of good fortunes”], and the mother’s name is Beniguchi Toyoko [紅口豊子, lit. “plentiful child”].’

Those names sound normal.

Anticlimactic, even…even though they’d name their daughters ‘skylark’ and ‘peafowl’…no, wait, what? Are we sure they’re not related by blood?

They’re both named after avians, and their names both contain 雀; they sound more like twins than they do stepsisters…or was this pure coincidence?

‘I haven’t gone this far into the investigation yet, but it could be possible. A single father and a single mother bonding over the two children they had custody for respectively, who end up tying the knot.’

‘…Whilst you might be right, isn’t that a bit random for a reason to marry? Look, I might not be the right person to say this, but marriage is pretty important as far as life events go. At least I wouldn’t propose to Hitagi before having thought about our future.’

‘I think not.’

‘I think not.’

‘I think not.’

I was met once again by a triple retort from the tween girl, the young girl, and the little girl – a formation like that isn’t playing fair.

How am I supposed to reply to a triple retort?

Stop silencing me at every turn.

‘But I agree, it does seem rather unthoughtful of them.’

Ononoki-chan said after witnessing my sullen face.

‘Wouldn’t that be exactly a reason for them to fall apart though? Wouldn’t that be exactly the sort of thing that makes their kids want to leave home?’

‘……’

‘Well, that’s what the investigation’s for. Perhaps the two sisters who came from different families are related by blood. Call it a family tree mystery.’

‘The hell’s that supposed to mean?’

I like the sound of it, but I don’t think it’s a genre.

They’re actually blood sisters?

It would be a surprising truth, though given the kanji, the foreshadowing would be a bit on the nose…

Leaving how the parents met aside, it is true that Mitonon’s senpai – that is, Beniguchi Hibari – cares about her little sister deeply, despite the wide age gap; it could be because their names have a lot in common.

‘Agreed. The reason I get along so well with Mister Vampy is because both our names have 木 in them.’

‘That’s not the reason why.’

Otherwise I should be all buddy-buddy with that swindler as well.

Give me a break, man.

I don’t know if I’d even describe Ononoki-chan and I as good friends…need I remind everybody that this is the corpse doll who throws me a two-choice, life or death decision every half hour.

If it weren’t for her looking like a tween girl, I’d have thrown this cursed doll away long ago, even if it belonged to my sister.

‘So then, I think I should get going. Since we’re going to the same place, do you want a lift or…?’

‘No, I drove here…’

Even if I didn’t, can I currently survive a high-speed transit on that tween girl? It’s no longer that clear an answer…

I tried it once, when my sisters and Kanbaru were abducted, and deeply regretted it…I almost got altitude sickness.

Back then, my vampirism was, for better or worse, beyond a certain level, so I at least made it out alive…but right now, with my body condition, taking a ride on Ononoki-chan’s ‘Unlimited Rulebook’ could be the end of me; this is no joke.

‘’Tis may come late, but come to think of it, thy sisters and thy junior were kidnapped at some point too.’

Ah.

Now that you mention it.

Come to think of it, Hanekawa had also been taken hostage because of me…these all had to do with oddities, so I inadvertently took them as exceptions, but even if the victims weren’t small girls, it still doesn’t change the fact that they were kidnappings.

If you look at it that way, then maybe I’ve been scared of thinking about it this entire time, but wouldn’t it be more likely that this, too, was a kidnapping all along?

Well, if that is the case, then all I needed to do was select the appropriate response, that is ‘③: making a clean exit’. This is an approach I’ll continue to stick with. If anything, I should be optimistic, and be glad that I’ve had experience relating to this, much as those experiences were ones I hated…as long as they come into use.

‘So it’s alright if I continued like this? Then I’ll sneak into the Beniguchis and get the family tree sorted. Very much like Kindaichi Kōsuke [金田一耕助]. Call me Yodaichi Kōsuke [余田一耕助] from now on.’10

‘I can barely tell you two apart…’

Going back, she did mention something like ‘breaking in’, but would something illegal like that even be possible? It is in the middle of the night, so we can’t go around the vicinity or to school to find out what’s going on, so the Beniguchi residence would be the only way, but still–

‘No worries. I’m no vampire, so I can enter others’ rooms without needing their permission. I’m using my locked room trick.’

‘No, please don’t use any locked room trickery.’

Whichever way you look at it, it’s more like breaking into an empty nest…however, in order to avoid making any irrevocable mistakes, it is still better to find out what was going on inside the Beniguchis.

To find out what the parents are now up to.

Going through a sleepless night? Or…

‘With the kidnapping desk already sprung into action, there is of course the distinct possibility that they are silently waiting for the kidnapper to make a move, but if that happens, I will use my superb reflexes and pretend to be a plush. It’ll be fine.’

‘Will it though…?’

Forgive me for saying this, but the reason your disguise worked was because you were only dealing with my younger sister…

Eh, whatever.

I’ll leave her to it.

And by leaving her to it, I’m giving her full oversight.

‘Then I’ll see you later. When you’ve forgotten about it. “Unlimited Rulebook”.’

As she finished, Ononoki-chan once again shot up into the night sky – since it’s an ultimate technique fired off without warning, I’m always spooked every time it happens. This isn’t good for my heart.

Right then, now that I have Hachikuji’s professional advice, it’s about time we finished this conversation and head out ourselves – the address Ononoki-chan gave us is somewhere in the next town over that I’ve never been to before.

Not a surprise, since you don’t normally wander into a residential district in another town. Anyway, I should be covered with the map app on my phone. Obviously, I couldn’t look at it whilst driving, so –

‘Shinobu, you’re on navigation.’

‘I offer no objection, but, my master, since I have the opportunity, wouldst thou perchance remove the child safety seat on the passenger side?’