Monogatari Series - Volume 23 - Chapter 1.49

049

A success? This?

For as much as I’d chaotically thought about it, I’d ended up charging in without thinking as soon as I’d put together some sort of reasoning, just as I’d done in high school. But, unlike my high school days, I was too much of a human for someone who’d intervened in a heated discussion between two vampires.

The two golden-haired, golden-eyed vampires stood agape, as if the appearance of this out-of-place intruder had damped their spirits.

“…A pervert? No, you’re Araragi-senpai, correct?”

That came from the high school girl.

She’d corrected herself, but, well, both were correct.

To still call me “senpai” even when I was like this—although, my junior’s fashion sense was neck-and-neck with my own, wearing a black cape over nothing.

Harimaze Kie—also a pervert.

Someone who’d had their humanity perverted into a demon.

Just like me.

“Nice to meet you, Araragi-senpai.”

It seemed that she’d gotten a decent grasp of the situation, as the golden-haired, golden-eyed high school girl’s astonishment lasted for only a moment and before changing into a leisurely smile.

“This is the first time we’ve spoken, but I’ve heard various rumors, you see—are you helping people, as usual? And yet, there’s not a single human here.”

Including you.

That was her implication.

Do you have the right to stop me?

That was also her implication.

“……”

Where had Hachikuji gone… I tried to casually take a look around, but I couldn’t sense any sign of her.

Perhaps she was in her godly supervision mode.

I had intended to pay attention to this, and she’d told me not to worry about it, but in the end, I’d ended up putting her in between oddities and humans, between a rock and a hard place… I felt ashamed of myself.

And right now in my shadow, Shinobu was also stuck between a rock and a hard place—indeed, the situation was so vague that it was hard to say what would constitute taking anybody’s side.

I reflexively stopped Harimaze-chan from attacking Suicidemaster, but if that had been her attempt to return to human form, as Araragi Koyomi had done in his spring break at seventeen, it certainly didn’t make any sense for me to stop her.

Or even if it was for other reasons—considering I was in the middle of helping Gaen-san, was it right for me to stop her from taking out the ancient vampire, who had not been certified as harmless?

Did I have the right?

If Kanbaru and the rest of the OG association were exposed to danger, then I would reflexively choose to fight, but her action had been a swing and a miss—in the first place, what had these two even talked about?

There was no guarantee that the two of them hadn’t been complicit in the crime. In that case, it would limit Shinobu’s actions—for Shinobu, the vampire born from Suicidemaster, the current Harimaze-chan was like a distant sister—no.

Let’s be honest.

Right now, the one stuck between a rock and a hard place was me.

I was stuck between myself as a high schooler, and myself as a college student.

The me from then—and the me from now.

“Hey, Harimaze-chan. In the same way you have an understanding of my situation, I happen to have an understanding of yours…”

Unable to withstand the pressure of silence, I began to speak whatever came to mind—I had no idea how my words would land or how I would end things.

I really should have gotten in contact with Gaen-san.

That was the unfortunate weakness of the bicycle. Even if it could surpass the automobile in instantaneous top speed, it rendered me incapable of making phone calls while driving hands-free.

“I won’t say that I understand how you feel. The truth is, I don’t really understand at all—I chose to isolate myself, so I can’t imagine the stress that comes with being in a group. But even so… You’ve gone too far.”

To attack your teammates.

To mummify your teammates.

That was too far.

“I didn’t go too far—I just quit too far. Just because I couldn’t quit the club, I suppose there was no need for me to quit living entirely.”

“……?”

It almost sounded like she was talking about her vampirification… What did that comparison mean?

“Ka ka.”

From behind, Suicidemaster laughed an amused laugh… What could that laugh have meant?

No, there was no reason for me to wonder about that.

“There’s still time. We can think of a way. A way to take back what can’t be taken back—to return everyone you’ve attacked back to normal, and to return you back to normal—”

“Leaving me aside for a moment, I wonder how everyone else thinks?”

Saying that, Harimaze-chan sent a profound glance towards Suicidemaster.

“Would they want to return to being human? Isn’t it easier for them right now?—I did attack them, but wasn’t it like they were asking for it…? Wasn’t it as if they asked me to attack them? Wasn’t it as if I helped them, not attacked them?”

Good lord. What was she saying?

Dried up like that, in a state where you couldn’t tell if they were alive or dead—

“Being unable to tell whether you’re alive or dead… But in high school, everyone’s like that, wouldn’t you say? Being dried up, too.”

After going to college.

Have you forgotten that feeling already?

“Did it look like we were giggling and having a good time? Like high school girls with nothing to worry about? Araragi-senpai.”

“……”

She was right.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t imagine it.

I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to know, until all this happened—I’d simple-mindedly been jealous of the people sweating in unison in club activities.

“Green as we are in our youth, that shade of green is deeper than you think. It’s a dark green bordering on darkness.”

In that case, I must have spent a very pale youth.

My youth was like diluted ink.

I’d thought of myself as having had some special experience, going on about my hellish spring break or my nightmarish Golden Week, but was my experience a disaster worth comparing to the bright and joyful youth of a high school girl?

Everyone thinks they’re better, they’re more important, they have it worse—that they’re the most tragic, the most miserable.

“Ka ka.”

Again.

The little girl’s laugh rang out.

“It’s an awkward debate for me to listen to, as someone who’s long since forgotten her youth. But isn’t that kind of back-and-forth what youth is all about? How laughable. It ended up like this because you couldn’t decide fast enough.”

Couldn’t decide? Decide what?

Was Harimaze-chan being forced by Suicidemaster to make some kind of choice? Or was it me that had failed to make a choice?

A choice—a decision.

“To eat or be eaten—to desire to eat, or to desire to be eaten. That’s it.”

Or perhaps.

To eat the master, or to eat the main character?

After that profound yet unintelligible instigation from Suicidemaster.

“That’s true. Whether it’s deep or pale, I’ve had enough of youth—what I chose was the red darkness. And I was wrong.”

So—I’ll be even more wrong.

I don’t know what kind of switch was flipped, but she jumped in the opposite direction of Suicidemaster, baring her venomous fangs at me.

It was a catastrophic act, as if driven by a destructive impulse—with the lingering aftereffects of having been a vampire, I could barely perceive the high-speed surprise attack.

But they were only aftereffects.

Even though I could see it, I had neither the power to stop it or the speed to dodge it.

If I had been in high school, I would have had Shinobu suck my blood beforehand to raise my physical strength, and if necessary, even my immortality, before going into a fight like this. But I already knew that that was a mistake.

I was painfully aware. It was something I knew with every part of my body.

Because I’d made such a mistake, there should have been more I could have said to Harimaze-chan, who was intentionally going wrong.

Because I was an unrelated stranger, there must have been something I could have said.

But I couldn’t say anything.

Because I was no longer in high school.

“Oh, I almost forgot! But this time, for sure!”

She shouted. The golden-haired, golden-eyed high school girl shouted.

“I’m Harimaze Kie! Born April 14th, 16 years old, 179 cm tall, my position is a reserve, and my favorite play is—the fake!”

The basketball player who had been deceiving, outwitting, tricking, and playing us, for whatever reason, introduced herself as if a self-introduction was a form of etiquette before killing someone—what an incredible bookend technique.

There was no mention of what pajamas she was wearing, but as a vampire who was only active at night, there was no way she could have placed an order for such nightwear.

“This time, for sure—I’ll eat up the main character!”

And yet, I wasn’t eaten.

Because Hachikuji leaped out from where she’d been hidden and saved me—but that wasn’t the case. Because Shinobu leaped out of my shadow and saved me—but that wasn’t the case, either.

Neither of them could have made it in time.

Made it in time before Harimaze-chan ate—a knee.

In other words, they wouldn’t have made it in time before Harimaze-chan ate a knee kick to the top of her head—a human knee, which could only be described as being dropped like a missile from above, landed savagely on the vampire’s head.

Needless to say.

“Long time no see, Araragi-kun. Thanks for buyin’ me some time. Twintails actually look pretty good on you.”

Needless to say—it was the knee of Kagenui Yozuru-san.

The specialist specializing in immortal oddities.

Also known as the violent onmyouji.

She’d easily dismissed my life-threatening negotiations as “buying her time”, but it was almost disgustingly obvious why she’d been able to make it in time—why the final weapon, who was expected to arrive no later than tomorrow at the earliest, had arrived so early.

I should have thought better about why Ononoki-chan hadn’t been in Tsukihi’s room during the day—obviously, as a shikigami, she must have gone to pick up her master, right?

There was no way that capable tween girl would be just a messenger for Hachikuji’s message. If it was her, she more than likely deduced everything just from that—not to mention, she’d acted as the direct connection between us and Gaen-san.

For a doll that can only follow orders, if there’s one thing she can do based on her own judgment, it would be for Kagenui-san’s sake—as a means of transportation faster than a bicycle or car for Kagenui-san, who could not walk on paths.

Most likely, from far away, Yotsugi-chan fired the missile known as Kagenui Yozuru using “Unlimited Rulebook” at Harimaze-chan… Although, it may have not been Harimaze-chan, but at Suicidemaster instead.

Or, perhaps, even at me.

Ononoki-chan’s throw was such that a direct hit on someone was all that was needed, and Kagenui-san’s choice of landing spot just happened to be Harimaze-chan, who was taking action—the exact opposite of Suicidemaster trying to avoid Hachikuji.

In terms of basketball, it would be a long pass… After all, in this garden.

There was not a single human here.

“You’re going too far… Kagenui-san.”

I couldn’t help but point that out to the specialist that further stomped on, like a rug, Harimaze-chan who had been folded into the ground like a tent, just as she’d once done to me before.

“Haven’t I told ya before, Araragi-kun? There’s no such thing as doin’ too much fer immortal oddities.”

Ain’t that right, Suicidemaster?

With the high school girl still trampled underfoot, Kagenui-san called out to the little girl behind her, without even turning around.

It was an indescribable tone of voice.

“Not at all. Even a monster like me can tell that you’ve gone too far, Ka-ge-nu-i. A terrifying little lady as always—you’ve sure made a mess of things. No—you’ve stepped all over it.”

With a calm and composed demeanor, yet with an atmosphere that drew a line between now and when she was dealing with me or Harimaze-chan, Suicidemaster spoke to Kagenui-san.

Had she drawn a line, or had she crossed it?

Or perhaps, had she crossed the threshold of battle?

As Gaen-san had hinted, whatever connection there was between Kagenui Yozuru and Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster, there was no doubt in my mind that it was not a good one.

“I’ll be the one to play with you, so just leave her at that. You’ve already blown away her consciousness and her mind. She’s not enough of a vampire to be able to deal with you yet. She’s just a fledgling.”

“Not enough of a vampire to deal with me? A fledgling? Ain’t that what ya are right now?”

“A little girl, just like you were back then. Ka ka—looks like this isn’t going to work out. It’s true that I’m not exactly a worthy target in your eyes.”

“…Seems like it. Even though I literally flew here from the North Pole for ya, yer in such a sorry state. Looks like I got no choice but to let ya go for today.”

“How lucky. Though I dunno if it’s you or me that’s lucky. Somehow or other, it seems I’ve lived again.”

“Shut up.”

Kagenui-san gave a forced sigh, and then pointed at her feet.

“By th’ way, Araragi-kun. Who’s this?” she asked.

Well—even if you ask who…

Was I supposed to say she was Harimaze Kie-chan? Although I’d pointed it out and she herself had spoken it at the very end, it had been a name that she’d kept secret for a long time… Pretending to be somebody else, leaving the signature of somebody else.

Just as Suicidemaster had been the one to name Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, or perhaps just as Oshino Meme had been the one to name Oshino Shinobu, then should I be the one to give the golden-haired, golden-eyed girl a new name here?

It would be cool if I could give her a name like the something-something, whatever-whatever, yadda-yadda vampire, an elegant and eccentric name filled with love and hatred, as a present—but unfortunately, I was neither tough nor cool.

Yes, just like her.

If I hadn’t failed—if I had become a vampire correctly.

“That girl—that demon.”

She encountered a vampire, and was attacked by a vampire.

She yearned to become a main character, and yearned to become a monster.

She desired friends, hated friends, and hurt friends.

After a depressing youth that made her sick of being human, after having obtained special powers, the high school girl that was finally crushed by a specialist, who couldn’t be a demon, couldn’t be a person…

“She’s me. Someone exactly like me.”

“What?”