Monogatari Series - Volume 23 - Chapter 1.39

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“I guess it was like a week ago?

“The unit of time differs from region to region, and, as an ancient vampire, it’s the same to me whether it’s a week ago or a thousand years ago.

“So I dunno if it was a week ago or a thousand years ago—but anyway, a week ago.

“That was when I arrived at this town. The rumored Far East island country, Japan—huh, is ‘Far East island country’ not a compliment?

“Either way, I think it’s a big deal when things are taken too far.

“I came to check on the safety of the legend I gave rise to, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, so it was pretty hilarious that I couldn’t ensure my own safety as soon as I arrived.

“Since I failed to land and shattered.

“Somehow or other, it seemed I’d died again.

“But for me, there was something that shocked me more than the fact that I died—according to the god that came out to welcome me, there’d been some kind of barrier that’d been put up.

“A barrier to protect the town.

“They say, ‘Devils out! Fortune in!’ as part of the traditions of this country, right? Ka ka, ‘Devils out’, huh—that’s a pretty tough greeting for a vampire.

“But that barrier wasn’t the reason I’d broken into pieces, y’know? My certain death, my thousandth, millionth, billionth, or trillionth death was self-destruction from a failed landing.

“Happens pretty often.

“I dunno if that barrier set up by that god was something that she took over from someone or whatever, but it’s not anything with any offensive power—just an interfering barrier that makes you lost.

“In a sense, it’s a pretty nasty barrier compared to the aggressive type of barrier which is easier to understand, but the problem is that that nastiness didn’t work on me at all.

“The security.

“The metal detector at the entry gate, if you will.

“Didn’t respond at all to this Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster—in other words, it didn’t even take me as a threat.

“Yeah.

“It wasn’t like I came into this country by breaking through a strong barrier with my tremendous power—it was because I didn’t have that tremendous power that I managed to slip into this country.

“Never thought I would end up being this weak.

“Growing old sucks, huh?

“I didn’t even notice it right away. Kind of a bother that I couldn’t really feel the symptoms—like some old man who doesn’t realize he’s old. Especially when that causes problems for others.

“As I was undergoing an immigration check by that god over there, I belatedly realized what I looked like.

“I’ve heard rumors that Japanese people have baby faces even as they age, but the gods of this country were really this young, was what I thought, excited beyond my years to experience the exotic cultural differences. But there was something wrong.

“Compared to the young god.

“I was even younger—the tough and cool me was shorter, with a thinner torso, smaller hands, thinner arms, shorter eggs, and a lighter body.

“If there was anything that was long, it would be my hair.

“So that’s what it was.

“You don’t notice changes in yourself until you talk to someone else, until you use them as a mirror—and I’ve been living in hiding for a long time.

“Not that vampires show up in mirrors. So that wasn’t good, either.

“While I was dying uncontrollably and running from vicious vampire hunters, it seemed that I was driven to the point where I couldn’t maintain my perfect body, even in appearance.

“Somehow or other, it seemed I’d regressed into a younger form.

“Before worrying about Kissshot, I needed to worry about myself, first—wasn’t it like I was the one on the verge of death, here?

“According to the god’s meaningful navigation instructions, the legendary vampire whom I named Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade was indeed in this town, but if I were to see her in this state, I would only end up worrying her instead of renewing our old friendship.

“I had a trauma.

“A trauma of letting my once beloved thrall die after making them worry—not to mention I was also in a young form at the time.

“Ka ka.

“It’s ironic that an old vampire, who has stubbornly refused to kill herself, should take on a younger form after living for so long—no matter how many thousand years I live to see history repeat itself, I don’t think I want to repeat my mistakes.

“That’s just me being cool, though.

“To describe it using the words of this language, it would be ‘putting on airs’.

“I held pride in having lived for a thousand years—I held pride in being a progenitor that birthed and named my thrall. Saying I didn’t want to worry her was just a figure of speech.

“Basically.

“I wanted to put on airs.

“I didn’t want to disappoint my bud that I’d reunited with after six hundred years—I didn’t want her to think, ‘she’s changed’, but I didn’t want her to think, ‘she’s the same as ever’.

“I just wanted her to think this.

“‘That’s my friend for you.’

“That was what I wanted.

“Now that we’ve met like this and the punch line was that we’d both taken on young forms, it’s obvious how unnecessary trial and error such a thing was, but I was very serious at the time.

“Tough, cool, and serious.

“Of course, I’m making it sound like it was a crazy long time ago, but it was just a week ago—a week ago indistinguishable from a thousand years ago.

“At the very least I thought I’d come in full dress for the occasion, at least on the surface level—even if I couldn’t show up in a complete form, I thought I would at least try to dress up.

“That’s why.

“I made a move on the local food here.

“I bared my fangs—at a high school girl.”