Monogatari Series - Volume 23 - Chapter 1.33

033

My fearless (of even a god) strategy to get Hachikuji to sit in the child seat ended in failure.

In transporting the ancient vampire from the Kitashirahebi Shrine to Kanbaru’s house while waiting for her awakening (sunset), I’d proposed the formation of putting Hachikuji in the passenger seat and Suicidemaster in the back seat, but considering the size of the target of transportation, I was defeated by the logic that it would be legally safer to secure Suicidemaster, a six-year-old girl, in the child seat.

Well, considering that, in terms of outward appearance, Hachikuji was fixed in the form of a ten-year-old in fifth grade, it was already kind of impossible to fit her in a child seat—and Hachikuji was fairly grown for a ten-year-old. Over the past year, I’d directly felt her measurements with my own hands, so this was for certain. Of course, if the child seat itself were to break, it would be the end of everything.

It was a child seat I hoped to use for many years to come.

However, I’d been worried that Suicidemaster would suddenly go berserk in the middle of the day after being taken out of the shrine and lowered from the sacred mountain, so I consulted with Gaen-san on the phone and ended up applying further seals before securing her in the child seat.

The seals that Hachikuji applied as instructed by Gaen-san were, in simple terms, a blindfold and shackles on her arms and legs, but the image of a blindfolded, shackled little girl in white clothes fastened to a child seat honestly did not make me feel the slightest bit of safety in the legal sense.

If I were to go through police questioning, it wouldn’t just end with my license being revoked.

My life would be revoked. Societally.

“Aaah. It was fairly controversial for Araragi-san, who loved his bicycle, to start riding around in a car, but I have to admit that the mobility of a car is certainly different. You can go all over the place, in every direction!”

Hachikuji herself seemed rather happy-go-lucky from the back seat—incidentally, she was in outing mode, which meant she’d changed from her white clothing to her clothes for an outing through the town, with her rucksack on her back.

She was sitting backwards, looking out the rear window, and flapping her legs—was it like a field trip for her?

“Hachikuji. Did your daytime stroll have any results? If you went around looking but couldn’t find it, then that would mean the fifth mummy has yet to be made—maybe?”

“I’m not sure. If my godly eyes were able to reach every corner of this town without any problems, you could say this incident would not have happened in the first place. Although it’s not that I regret allowing Suicidemaster-san to pass through without security.”

“Well, sure.”

From Hachikuji’s point of view, she might even be a lifesaver—upon Suicidemaster-chan’s arrival in Japan, it wouldn’t have been odd if she had trampled Hachikuji underfoot, mountain and all.

Even though she was a god, our Hachiku-jin wasn’t all-powerful—even in her weakened state, it could be possible for Suicidemaster to defeat even an athletic high school girl in a single blow.

“Hachiku-jin? Please stop. Don’t give me a weird nickname. It seems your respect for gods is lacking, you know?”

Hachikuji did a half-turn and took her seat in the normal position.

“I knew that, with the case of Shishirui Seishirou-san, Shinobu-san had messed up twice, after all. I hoped that this could be an opportunity to wipe away that irreversible trauma—although, it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t worried about letting Suicidemaster-san meet Shinobu-san, who was currently practically enslaved by a human.”

That’s why I’m all for the master-servant reversal, said Hachikuji.

“Although, I think it would be better to be honest about it afterwards. It would be sad to lose a friendship because of vanity. When I was alive, there was a boy in my class that I was close to, but because I’d been too vain—”

“Let’s save that story for another time, Hachikuji. When Gaen-san called earlier and taught us about the sealing methods, I tried probing a bit, but it doesn’t seem like they’ve found the fifth mummy yet.”

“You seem way too uninterested in my flashback scene, Araragi-san.”

“The analysis of the cell phone is still in progress, but it doesn’t seem like there’s any traces of her having made a call or sent a text or used an app since Kanguu-chan went missing, so it’s hard to pin down the time of the crime. In other words, we still don’t have proof of Suicidemaster’s alibi.”

I glanced at the little girl in the passenger seat.

The golden-haired little girl fixed in the child seat, in white clothing, blindfolded, arms and legs shackled.

“Is that so? Well, my credibility is at stake, too. I’ll cooperate to the full extent of my power. Is it fine if I pretend to be a slave, too? Uhehehe.”

“You sound less like a vampire’s slave and more like a slave to money. Mm, I’ve thought about it, but…”

“So you’ve thought about it? Turning Hachikuji Mayoi into a slave?”

“But ultimately, a vampire’s slave should be at least a little vampiric, or the lie will be found out. If it were Ononoki-chan, I may have just barely asked her to, but she’s on bad terms with Shinobu. Plus, she’s away at the moment, so it seems I’ll have to be the only slave. If anything, Hachikuji, you can act as the local deity and be a guarantor for the relationship between Shinobu and me.”

Not a bondsman, but a bondsgod.

It seemed rather apt.

Just as we were about to arrive at Kanbaru’s house, the cell phone that I had left in the cup holder between the driver and passenger seats buzzed. This time, a call from Gaen-san—had the fifth mummy, Kiseki-chan’s mummy, finally been discovered?

I felt slightly nervous, but I was driving, after all, so there was no way I could be the one to pick it up.

I’ll leave it to my secretary.

“Who are you calling your secretary? Yes, hello? This is Hachikuji.”

Seems like you’ve taken a liking to it.

“Araragi is currently driving. Yes. Yes. —Yes, I see. Understood. I’ll let him know.”

Finishing up the short phone call, Hachikuji returned the cell phone to its original position.

“What was it. Did we make any progress?”

“Rather than progress, it’s more like we’ve fallen backwards.”

That was Hachikuji’s response.

“Putting aside the ‘F C’ initials, it seems they’ve completed their brute-force investigation of the remaining members of the girls’ basketball team who were on the register, but everyone has been confirmed to be safe.”

Everyone was confirmed to be safe?

“Isn’t that a good thing? It’s the first good news we’ve heard in a while. What’s so backward about good news that’s really worth celebrating?”

“The fact that they’re safe means that they’re also innocent—the results of the investigation made it clear that there is no vampire among the remaining members of the basketball team.”

Back to square one.