Monogatari Series - Volume 22 - Chapter 3.05

005

There were two pieces of bad news.

Although normally, in cases like these, you were supposed to have one each of good news and bad news, I only had bad news to share. And two pieces of it, at that.

The first had to do with the investigation into “charms” that I was performing with Suou-san. We’d made little progress, and the incident did vividly resemble a series of events that had occurred in this town in the past, but it seemed our search would not end with a bang but with a whimper. There was nothing incident-like, there were no damages, and there wasn’t even a clear point of origin—in other words, it was the gossip you’d get from stereotypical kids, without any villains scheming anything in the background.

There were no con men in the picture. Not even any copycats.

“It seems like we can just leave this rumor alone. There’s the possibility that trying to influence it from outside could actually make it worse, too. Let’s just continue with follow-up observations and see where the wind takes it,” concluded Suou-san.

Right, if we tried to manage everything and anything, the Rumors Squad could unthinkably become some sort of thought police.

And though we didn’t have the sense of achievement that came from a straightforward investigation, it wasn’t unfortunate or bad news to have a case end up being pointless—the bad news was that I wasn’t able to arrest any con men.

Though he hadn’t kept it perfectly, that Kaiki bastard must really be keeping his promise of not entering this town—he had a surprising amount of integrity, even for someone I’d arrest on the spot if I ever saw him back in this town.

Putting that aside, the second piece of bad news was that, hiding in the shadow of the news of Hanekawa Tsubasa’s return that had the public institutions in an uproar, my younger sister, Araragi Tsukihi, had stealthily returned to our parents’ home.

She was having ice cream in the living room as soon as she came home.

No, no, of course, being able to see the sister I loved when I least expected it was a joyous occasion, no matter the circumstances. But what prevented this from being categorized as “good news” was the reason Tsukihi had returned. She hadn’t come back after learning of my own return, aiming for my training period, and she hadn’t come back because it was close to New Year’s—she’d come back because she’d dropped out of the overseas college she’d enrolled in.

Dropping out for the second time.

This wasn’t just bad news, it was the worst.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m planning on entering a new school, anyway. Although it’s not going to be a college, but a dance school.”

“What are you even trying to become? What kind of person even is my sister?”

“Relax. At least, I’m really proud of you, onii-chan. You career bastard.”

“You wanna die?”

“Since the Araragi family is full of straight-laced people, it’s no fun if you don’t have at least one person like me. When a crisis befalls this family, the playful youngest child can lead them to salvation!”

“You’re more likely to bring us to ruin. Isn’t it your fault that Karen-chan and I can’t get any promotions?”

“Oh, please, rolling around in your lust for promotions. Meanwhile, all I thought about was simply dancing in casinos.”

That made me uneasy.

Karen had simply been elated at her close sister’s sudden return and was now showing off her skills in the kitchen—she somehow seemed to be in even higher spirits than when her brother had come back home.

It made me ashamed.

To think that the first thing I would see when I came home tired from work was my younger sister in Japanese clothing… Had she come here like that from the airport?

How had she managed to get through the Hanekawa countermeasures?… In her own way, this girl wasn’t exactly normal.

She had, for some reason, tied her hair up in two braids that fell onto her shoulders.

The hairstyle resembled that of Hanekawa in her honor student days.

Because Hanekawa Tsubasa was famous even overseas, it was unlikely that Tsukihi was unaware of her return…

“Oh yeah. I heard about that from Senjougahara-san when I met up with her the other day.”

“What, you met with Hitagi? Although I knew you were keeping in touch…”

No matter how good you were with languages, it was valuable to have someone you could speak with in your native language, so even Senjougahara Hitagi and Araragi Tsukihi had become friends over text, despite not having had any close relationships before.

Although, the places they lived were farther apart than the distance between Hokkaido and Okinawa…

“Yeah. When I texted her that I dropped out, she got worried and came to see me.”

“Don’t just tell people important information over text!”

“That’s why I came here to tell you directly, onii-chan.”

She sure did grow up to be carefree.

Even though she forbade Hitagi from telling me because she knew I’d object, and only told me about it after the fact.

…Well, whatever.

It was fine if there was just one person like her in this family.

“So. How long do you plan on staying? Are you going to be here for New Year’s? I’m sure our beloved parents will be coming back for that, too.”

“Hmm. Our behooved parents, huh.”

“Not behooved. Beloved.”7

“Well, I’m happy that you want to spend that much time together with me, onii-chan, but I’m taking off tomorrow.”

Although I already told Karen that, said Tsukihi, licking on the cap of the ice cream container.

This girl hadn’t even learned an ounce of decorum, even when she was about to turn twenty… But tomorrow?

“What do you mean by that? Suddenly departing after suddenly arriving? That’s barely a fraction of a second. What, are you some kind of jet-setter? And where are you even getting the money? Our doting parents should really start cutting off your allowance.”

“He-ey. Even though you still got yours until you were twenty-two?”

“Answer me! If you’ve fallen into a life of crime, even if you’re my sister, I’ll have to arrest you even if I’ll be crying while I do it. And then I’ll come and interrogate you every day.”

“That sounds like a wonderful proposal, but don’t worry! I haven’t fallen into a life of crime. Yet.”

“Don’t say ‘yet’!”

“I’m tearfully working some small, pitiful jobs, and paying for my dance school tuition myself.”

When she said that, it made it sound like Tsukihi’s living environment was like Kanbaru squeezing out money to pay for her medical school tuition, but why did the impression I got feel so vastly different?… Maybe because she was related to me, I only saw her flaws?

I supposed I would always be worried about my sister… Although anyone would find themselves worrying about someone like her.

“Also, it’s not like I’m leaving the country tomorrow. I’m planning on sightseeing around the Tokyo area for a bit. I might visit again before I go. I’ll be counting on you then!”

Around the area… That was definitely some careful thought-out planning.

I doubted she even made reservations at hotels to stay at while sightseeing.

Well, considering that she got a visa and spent time overseas, not pitifully but powerfully, the capital of Japan could be considered a peaceful paradise, but the current peace level of the country was in the middle of being drastically rewritten.

Although, saying that, staying in this town could be even more dangerous, so I figured I’d let her go sightseeing as she pleased. But I doubted she’d find lodgings in advance with the way she plunged into things… I guess I’d have to be the adult here and make reservations for her.

“I’ll pay for the hotel fees, too. I’ll be your sponsor for whatever funds you need while you’re in Japan.”

“Onii-chan, you’re too soft on your sisters, aren’t you? Even though you groped your sister’s boobs in the past.”

“Don’t bring that up as a comparison. Weren’t we both just tiny kids back then?”

“Uh, no, your height back then was about the same as you are right now.”

“Well, your boobs were tiny.”

“Your attitude is pretty much the same as it is now, isn’t it! Unlike my boobs.”

But I’ll pass on the funds, said my sister that was tiny (in height).

“Hey, now, why pass on money when you’re drowning in poverty?”

“I’m not drowning in poverty. Being a tutor in Japanese actually pays quite a bit.”

“Cheekily getting a part-time job… But your career bastard onii-chan has a salary, y’know. Let me at least pay for your hotel fees.”

“I won’t even have any hotel fees. Onii-chan, I bet you just think I’m just going on a sightseeing course without thinking, but I already made arrangements to stay with a friend. Did you already forget about her? Sengoku Nadeko-chan.”

Was she looking down on her brother’s memory?

Although she did have a point… But, aha.

The concept of staying with a friend was foreign to me, as someone who didn’t have friends… Or rather, she was still friends with Sengoku, huh? Even though it would’ve been troublesome since they didn’t go to the same school… Although I didn’t know the details, since she was a mangaka, she’ll be working pretty hard, right?

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’ll help her out with her work, too. As an assistant to the great Sengoku Nadeshiko-sensei. As her chief assistant.”

“Don’t suddenly try to command Sengoku’s team. Doesn’t that make you the one with a lust for promotions?”

“I can at least help with pencil shading.”

“What great artistic skills you have there.”

Don’t say it as if you can help with doing the beta inking.

My sister was such that the more she tried to lend a hand with something, the less she actually helped that person out.

“All right, all right. Do as you like, and live as you like. Live freely for my sake, too. But take it slow just for tonight, okay?”

“That’s right. While we’re here, do you wanna take a bath together for the first time in a while? Since I’m still barely a teenager.”

“That would be bad for any teenager!”

And with that, Karen called from the kitchen, “Onii-chan, Tsukihi-chan, dinner’s ready, so help me take it over there!”

Right, even if we couldn’t help her with cooking, we should at least help her set the table… But the only one to get up was me, while Tsukihi took the remote control and began to watch television.

What a freewheeling person.

“Hm? Karen-chan, isn’t this way too many plates? I know how much you want to welcome this idiot, but no matter how you look at it, this is way too much for just three people.”

“What are you talking about, nii-chan. There are four of us!”

“Eh?”

Now that she said that, it wasn’t just the amount of cooking. There was even an extra set of cutlery with chopsticks and forks laid out on the table… Could it possibly be that one of my parents, with their investigative abilities, heard of Tsukihi’s return and took the bullet train back home?

“That’s not it, nii-chan… Didn’t you hear from Tsukihi-chan? I was sure that you’d already given the okay for it…”

Karen-chan’s expression dropped in an instant from showing a good mood to an “oh no, this isn’t good” face.

“We might get fired for violating orders, then, huh. Both me and you.”

“Eh…?”

Oh, no, don’t tell me.

There was a third piece of bad news?

As I turned pale with a foreboding premonition, the door to the living room opened.

“Good morning, Tsukihi-chan, Karen-chan. Sorry for borrowing your bed. Has Araragi-kun come back yet?”

And, rubbing her eyes with her left hand while smoothing down her bed hair with her right hand, a very sleepy, pajama-clad Hanekawa Tsubasa appeared.