Monogatari Series - Volume 22 - Chapter 3.02

002

That day, every public institution throughout Japan had become restless. Because that Hanekawa Tsubasa was returning for the first time in three years—so any and every organization was going through any and every policy in place to try and stop the flight she was on. But resistance was futile, for all those plans were smashed to pieces. The government had persisted to the very end, but, upon learning that her goal was to erase all traces of herself from the country, they reluctantly gave up. Even if that meant risking a change in the peace level of the country, they had opted for the chance to wipe away the shame of her country of origin being this pacifist country.

Naturally, the Naoetsu Police Department that I was training at was moving at a whirlwind pace as well. Or rather, it was a full-on storm—because the jurisdiction of this department was where Hanekawa Tsubasa had spent most of her teenage years.

Nevertheless, because the Rumors Squad was in charge of not storms but rumors in the wind, we’d been left out of the loop from that uproar—with the exception of one police dog, or the self-styled “canine policewoman”.

“Koyomi-kun, Koyomi-kun. Tell me everything you know ‘bout Hanekawa Tsubasa. Since they put me in charge of escortin’ her.”

She had just stopped me from going out to nip another rumor in the bud with Suou-san—incidentally, her way of closing the distance to people was rather unique, so she called me “Koyomi-kun” from our very first meeting. And she coerced me into calling her “Mitome-san” with her intense senpai pressure.

Suou-san tactfully read the mood and said, “‘Kay, Araragi-kun, I’ll meet you there,” quickly going on ahead—although if she were really being tactful, I would’ve wanted her to say something like “Sorry, but he’s my partner,” and forcibly take me along with her. But, considering a mermaid to a wolf was like paper to scissors, it was probably unreasonable to have such expectations for her. The reality was that, for a bundle of deliciousness like Suou-san, the only coworker she could safely associate with was Kizashima-senpai, the golem who did not need to eat to live. Though it did give her the drawback of seeming “wishy-washy”, it was better than being preyed upon.

Along those lines, even I had no chance of disobeying Mitome-san.

There was the simple instinctual fear I had of wolves, but I did also feel that I wanted to go beyond the limits of my squad to help out with Mitome-san’s escort duties using my past experience—not to mention, the fact that Mitome-san’s escort was someone I owed a great debt to from my high school days.

“However, all I know about her is really the old Hanekawa… Basically, her past profile that she’s coming here to erase. I don’t want it to become pointless information that could distract you.”

“There’s no such thing as pointless information. I’m here because I wanna learn everything I can, even stuff that might be distractin’ or incorrect, so that I can deal with every possibility. So it’ll be better if you cooperate, all right?”

It almost sounded like a threat, but her airtight attitude was actually reassuring.

“What I need to protect isn’t Hanekawa Tsubasa. And I’m not exaggeratin’ here, but I’m protectin’ this country, or maybe even the whole world. So I wanna do it perfectly. And why are we just standin’ around, Koyomi-kun? Let’s go to a cafe. I’ll buy you something to drink.”

It was a suspicious senpai act.

By the time I entered the third month of my training period, I’d managed to figure out my senpai’s methods of pampering (in a worldly sense, it would be called “extortion”)… But oh well.

“Mitome-san, don’t tell me you’ve been put in command of the escort group?”

“Course not, course not. I’m just an underling of an underling of an underling. I’m like the end of a cigarette butt that was thrown off in the corner. Since they already decided on the frontline ages ago… But it’s because of that that I can hear from you younger folks. Even this old wolf has a role to play.”

Even though you’re not that far off in years, old wolf.

Unless she’s counting in dog years.

“But y’see, my family has somehow gotten involved in the escort preparations, too, and I have orders from them. There’s one from the riot police, of course, but they managed to bring in someone from outside the National Police Agency through extra-legal measures… It’s crazy, isn’t it? Maybe they’ll even bring the JSDF in!”

“…Those are some extravagant preparations for a single girl coming back to her home country.”

“Well, it’d be great if we were just making a big fuss over just one rat.”

Although it wasn’t one rat but one cat.

But that cat, in the sense that she was quite capable of shaking up the values of today’s society, could probably be considered to be on the same level as Schrodinger’s cat among influential cats—it wasn’t the time to be worried about the territoriality of such organizations.

Territoriality.

It was to get rid of territoriality that was Hanekawa’s great cause now, and the way this nation was coming together right now ironically could be considered dancing upon the palm of her hand—or, because she was a cat, her paw.

“But it’s the first I’m hearing of it, Mitome-san. That your family members are in all sorts of places.”

“Didja think the werewolves would just be hiding up in some cave somewhere? Well, among the younger folks, there’s no one that’s the real deal like me, who can transform perfectly… The best they can do is be good at howling.”

Perhaps it was like my vampire constitution.

The world had been under the influence of oddities beyond the Rumors Squad’s establishment—in the same way Kizashima-senpai was among the graduates of Naoetsu High. Surprisingly, the abnormal was right up there alongside the normal.

For better or worse.

In the first place, if we considered the graduates of Naoetsu High, then Hanekawa was certainly the single most extraordinary one. When we were still in school, Senjougahara Hitagi had designated her as a “real monster”, but if I had to say it, that had actually been a prediction.

Because right now…

The twenty-three-year-old Hanekawa Tsubasa was certainly a real monster.