Monogatari Series - Volume 20 - Chapter 1.17

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“I should let you know in advance…not to get your hopes up too high. I’ve barely figured any of this out myself, and I’m far from being able to say I understand it all,” Ononoki warned as we plodded along the streets at night. Wherever it was we were heading, the Unlimited Rulebook could have gotten us there in no time with a single hop, but I wasn’t up to it in my current form.

A method of transportation that violent would kill any flesh-and-blood human.

So I was on foot, and not on the BMX, either─Ononoki could probably keep up with me even if I biked at full speed, but I didn’t feel like trying. Though not as bad as the Unlimited Rulebook, riding that altered bike in the middle of the night was far too dangerous.

“Ononoki.”

“What is it, monstieur?”

“Er, well…”

She’d replied in a flat tone, at her own leisure, not so much as looking in my direction─indeed the Ononoki I knew.

After assaulting me in my sleep…or just rousing me from it, she’d led me out of my home, careful not to wake Oikura or my sisters, and made me walk for quite some distance now. Yet I hadn’t gotten used to her.

Okay, in terms of what I am and am not used to, this was the Ononoki I was used to and felt comfortable around─but why had she “flipped around” to being this way all of a sudden?

I had no idea what had caused the inside-out her to turn inside out again─not explaining a thing was also very much like her. I hesitated to ask her any direct questions and was tamely following her through town.

That makes me sound so passive, but I just couldn’t ignore the name she’d spoken─Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade.

A vampire, who shouldn’t exist in this mirrored land─no, wait. If this was more than a world “inside a mirror,” then maybe it wasn’t too strange for a vampire to exist here?

That seemed like a stretch─but if Ononoki really was going to take me to Shinobu (excuse the cautious wording, but the Ononoki I knew wouldn’t think twice about telling that malicious of a lie), we’d move toward a solution in no time at all, wouldn’t we? It’d save us the trouble of having to contact Shinobu on the other side.

If this side’s Shinobu opened up a gate on this side, I’d be able to return to my original world─an immediate simplification of the plan.

The thought was exciting enough that being roused in the middle of the night felt fair. Sadly, I also realized that at no time in my whole career had a twist been so convenient.

My natural reaction was to brace myself.

It was like watching a movie and knowing, given how long it’d gone so far, that a certain twist could only be the middle act and not the climax─not that I should let my guard down, since my story could get lopped off, cut short before its finale.

In any case, I couldn’t stay silent forever. The change in Ononoki intimidated me, and I was losing my motivation after all these dizzying twists and turns, but better to be the boy who cried wolf than the one who jumped at his own shadow.

I made my move.

“That outfit looks good on you.”

Made my move, starting from a distance.

Hey, even the most talented boxer starts off with a few jabs.

“Thank you,” Ononoki said, surprising me by taking the compliment─she wasn’t the type, so her words, even if they were flat, stunned me. “Though this does feel wrong in its own way─I feel like I was wearing cuter clothes. Not that there’s any point in complaining about such a trivial matter… In any case, they’re not to my taste. No, maybe this is my taste… My taste, as well as my bad taste.”

“…”

“Oh, you want me to explain, don’t you? All right, I get it. I know what you’re like, kind monster sir, from the way you like little girls to the way you like tween girls.”

“Know me less narrowly, please. And that’s not what I’m like, that’s what I like… Not that those are my likes!”

“I am a professional, you know,” Ononoki objected. “When you saw me and spoke to me this morning, you seemed sure that there was something off about this world… And the way you were acting, I started to feel like something was off too.”

When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you, Ononoki pulled out an awfully pretentious quote.

Put simply, she’d been surprised to see me surprised. I’d thought I’d managed to get out of that situation, even if I hadn’t kept a cool head through it all. Her keen professional eyes drove home that I was just an amateur.

“What? Monstieur leaving without even trying to pull down my pants? Impossible, I thought. That doubt is where it all started.”

“Please don’t use that as a starting point. And when you say that, do you mean just take off your pants, or your underwear too?”

“Well, peer into your own bosom for the answer… Speaking of chests, it was also suspicious that the man who always used my chest, didn’t.”

“What do you even mean by that? How am I a man who’s always using your chest?”

“It’s my curse to be unable to let any grounds for concern go, you see. Once you left, I performed a self-check─what about my condition surprised you? I wondered what had us make out.”

“Make out? I’m pretty sure we didn’t.”

“Sorry. I meant to say, what had you creeped out.”

“Those are nothing like each other. How do you make a mistake like that?”

Of course, anyone would feel creeped out if we really did make out…

“My maintenance couldn’t pinpoint why you felt creeped out, but at least I realized that I was not currently in a state to perform at full capacity. I was defective as a monster, as a shikigami who serves Big Sis─and so.”

I rebuilt my personality, she said─Yotsugi Ononoki did.

If ever she’d spoken in a monotone, it was as she said this line. The casual way she passed it off made it easier for me to digest. Oh, of course, yes, no, hold on, what did she just say? She rebuilt her personality?

“In other words, I scrubbed my character─polished it up. I’m not sure if I did a good job of it, but it seems to have gone well for the most part, judging by your reaction.”

“…”

This was a bombshell…but she was right.

Now that she mentioned it, she was right.

As an artificial aberration, Yotsugi Ononoki didn’t have a consistent character. She was always influenced by her surroundings, ever shifting─indeed like a mirror, always influenced by those around her, always reflecting them.

It seemed more like a flaw than a characteristic, but to think it’d end up working this way…

While her ever-changing, kaleidoscopic personality had thrown me for multiple, painful loops, putting up with it had paid off. A smug expression and tone did hamper Ononoki’s ability to do her job, so it made sense for her self-check to catch them.

It did…but having experienced for myself just how big of an ask it was for something to “make sense” in this world, I couldn’t help but be impressed by Ononoki, who’d done it all on her own.

“Oh, it’s hardly commendable. I couldn’t have done it without your help. That’s why I thanked you. Thank you, monstieur, for not taking off my pants.”

“C’mon, it was nothing. I just didn’t do what comes naturally to me.”

Nope─just don’t.

Let that come naturally.

But thinking too hard about it brought up a new set of questions─because if the Koyomi Araragi who existed in this world was Ogi Oshino, I couldn’t see her ever doing such a thing.

I wouldn’t, but she was even less likely to─Ogi stripping a doll naked and playing with it every morning betrayed who she was as a character more than anything I’d seen.

Too painful a sight.

All of this hinted at unexplained mysteries…but in any case, I felt encouraged that Ononoki had returned to being the character I knew.

“Of course, only someone like you who changes personalities like a dress-up doll changes clothes could do that.”

She was the polar opposite of Tsukihi, who was herself because she only had one side to her. Ononoki’s duality was so excessive that she could change even her inside-out self.

To use Oikura’s mirror reflectivity analogy, her outlines were fuzzy from the beginning, so her image never got set in place.

“Like I said, it’s not like I understand what’s going on either─in fact, I’m really pushing it here. Changing who I am as a character to this degree is deviating pretty far from what’s allowed of an aberration… I wouldn’t be surprised if the Darkness showed up.”

“!”

The word sent a shiver down my spine─a visceral reaction.

Oh. So that concept existed in this world too.

The very embodiment of darkness seemed even less tenable than vampires in a mirrored land consisting of reflections of light, but I guess it didn’t matter because it was non-existent from the outset.

It traumatized me even more than that snake god, but Ononoki remained serene─because she’d remade her personality to be that way, but still…

“And so, monstieur, there’s only so much I can do. It’ll threaten my existence if I go too wild,” she said. “I can’t vanish before fulfilling my promise to you, that we’d go and see the ocean together one day.”

“…”

I’d made that cool-sounding of a promise?

While also pulling down her pants every morning?

Whatever the case, I now understood why Ononoki had turned back into the character I knew. It was news to me that she was best able to perform, in peak condition, when she was stone-faced and flat-toned, but maybe it was called being unaffected.

Even in martial arts, they do say that the ultimate stance is having no stance at all─being a doll with no personality meant she could play any role she wanted.

I’d learned once again that in spite of her freewheeling ways, Ononoki was surprisingly professional at all times.

“So, what did you do after that?” I asked her. “Are you saying that you went off to investigate this strange state of affairs, just like I went to Kita-Shirahebi Shrine to ask for help?”

“You went to Kita-Shirahebi Shrine… Huh. Tell me about that later, will you?”

“Oh, so you don’t know what I’ve been doing.” The offhanded way she’d brought up Shinobu’s name made it feel like she knew every last thing I’d done today.

“Hey, don’t be holding such high hopes for me. My head’s pretty messed up right now because I put too much into reforming my personality─I assumed you were off doing something, monstieur, but it was just about as likely that you were off buying a present for Sodachi.”

“How likely is that? Zero percent?”

“Well, she kept asking you. ‘Koyomiii, you have to buy me one, buy it for me! Please! I’m not letting you go until you say yes!’”

“I’ve really been spoiling her, huh…”

What had she begged me for?

And just what kind of person was I in this world, trying to take off Ononoki’s pants and indulging Oikura when it wasn’t even her birthday (I felt pretty certain it wasn’t)?

“Ah. Sodachi’s going to feel so let down.”

“Stop, don’t pressure me like that,” I said. “Any idea of letting her down is painful to me. Don’t pile more tasks on top of what I already have on my plate… So, after surveying the town…you decided to have me and Shinobu meet?”

“Right. Of course, the former Heartunderblade is different from the former Heartunderblade you know. I’m not giving you the details yet, I want to enjoy seeing your reaction when you meet in person… Just be ready for it.”

“Yeah, okay… Wait, you just want to see my reaction? That’s your reason?”

“Yup. What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Why are you even doubling down?”

Hmph.

While we didn’t have a particularly good relationship back in my original world─let’s just call it a long and bumpy ride─going back and forth with Ononoki “like usual” did help soothe my nerves.

Only, I had to think about Shinobu being different, as Ononoki put it. Maybe I needed to be not just ready, but on alert─because I couldn’t begin to imagine what the other side of Shinobu was like, who her inner self was.

If she existed in this world, we could solve everything just by getting her to open a gate from this side─my line of thought went, but it was an optimistic one that ignored such issues.

Though it wasn’t in this mirrored land, I’d met another iteration of Shinobu in another timeline─I’d encountered the aberration known as Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade.

She resented and abhorred me.

Enough to destroy the world.

That probably wasn’t the exact form of Shinobu’s other side, but no one could deny the possibility existed in her.

She’d lived for around six hundred years. There had to be many “other sides” to her─and to be frank, I wasn’t confident I could accept them all.

This was no time for pathetic whining, though… So long as that monkey demon protected the Kanbarus’ wood bath, we needed to try a different approach, if any existed.

“I know nothing,” Ononoki said, “about the circumstances on your side… Do I get along with Big Sis over there?”

“Hm? Er, well,” I stammered. I didn’t really know the answer to that one. When I’d asked Miss Kagenui about their relationship─for whatever reason, she’d deflected the question.

“Hm. Well, I’d imagine as much.”

Ononoki shrugged, taking my silence for an answer─her face showed no expression, so I couldn’t tell if she felt any way about that.

It wouldn’t have been Ononoki any other way, of course.

I felt a little bad─when I thought about it, I’d taken this world’s Ononoki, who’d been living a peaceful, expressive life as a doll, and turned her into a flat, emotionless, doll-like doll. Maybe I needed to reflect on what I’d done.

It may have been her professionalism, but she didn’t need to act just because she noticed this land of mirrors wasn’t logically consistent.

“So, monstieur. Where did you go today, and whose pants did you take off?”

“Can’t I get at least a little sentimental over you? If you want to know, ask me like a normal person.”

“What was it? You went to Kita-Shirahebi first thing to take off Miss Mayoi’s pants?”

“Imagine the kind of divine punishment that’d get me. Instant karma.”

Bantering like this, I gave Ononoki a rough outline of my day. I was afraid it’d take a while─we might arrive at our destination before I was done (she still wouldn’t tell me where we were going. Did she want to see my reaction to that, too?), but my fears proved groundless.

Then again, only two things had happened: I’d failed to enter the Kanbaru estate, and Black Hanekawa had saved me. My surprise over the personality differences I witnessed today was a subjective matter.

“Hm. So you met Miss Mayoi, Big Sis Monkey, Big Sis Cat, Big Sis Snake, and Big Sis Sodachi today, and took off their pants.”

“At this point, you obviously mean their underwear too?”

“Oops. I forgot to include the Fire Sisters.”

“No need for that.”

“Wow, monstieur, impressive. Your little sisters’ pants don’t even count.”

“Am I not impressing you in any other way? If that’s what you took from everything I just said, even I’m gonna be depressed.”

“Well, to me it just sounds like the regulars I know in the regular way I know them─but I do agree with you about one thing.”

“Huh, what’s that?”

“Looks like we’re on the same page for once…”

“We’re not in some kind of buddy-cop movie. We’ve agreed plenty of times before. What is it?” I asked again.

“Black Hanekawa saving you─is almost impossible if we went by my understanding of her.”

Oh… I’d wondered if an “inside-out” Black Hanekawa also felt differently about me, but if that was the professional opinion of this world’s Ononoki…

Then was my initial guess correct? She’d saved me on someone’s request? I’d suspected it was Ononoki, but that seemed unlikely after this exchange.

“Who could it be, though? Who’d ask Black Hanekawa to save me?”

“Indeed. Who would ever want to save you? Certainly not me.”

“That’s not what I meant─the kind of person who’d go to Black Hanekawa with that request. Certainly not you? How about you stop being so hurtful? You’re helping me right now, aren’t you?”

“I want you to think that, just so I can abandon you at the last possible moment and enjoy the look on your face.”

“How unbelievably nasty are you? Start over and remake your character again.”

In any case, I’d hoped to glean some kind of clue from Ononoki, but she didn’t seem to have any idea either. The mystery persisted.

Not that it had deepened─I was now able to talk to Ononoki like this, and it was by pushing forward that we’d make progress.

“Does Shinobu know I’m coming? I won’t pepper you with questions if you don’t want me to, but I’m just curious. Did you, uh, make an appointment?”

“I did. Don’t worry, I’m not sure how it is in your world, but that woman and I are friends in this one.”

“That absolutely can’t be true. Even the phrase that woman and I sounds hostile… Hm?”

And then.

After coming this far, I knew where we were headed. Normally I’d realize sooner, but between it being nighttime and the streets being flipped around, it took me a little longer. I’d visited the location countless times over the past year.

The ruins that the vagrant expert known as Mèmè Oshino once treated as his castle and keep─the building beyond us was that former cram school.

In the world I knew, it had caught fire last summer and burned to the ground, but it still had to be fine here if that’s where Ononoki was taking me.

Maybe in this world, instead of dwelling in my shadow, Shinobu continued to live in that classroom ever since she was there together with Oshino?

In that case, she might not be too amicable towards me…or rather, Koyomi Araragi.

I didn’t think my life was in danger, especially with Ononoki around, but maybe I needed to get my guard up a little higher.

“What’s wrong, monstieur? You suddenly went quiet. Did you die?”

“No, why’d I die? I was just thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t be, since everyone keeps telling me I’m overthinking things, but I just can’t help it.”

“Teal, don’t mink, as they like to say.”

“You mean feel, don’t think.”

“It’s the same thing─reach for the skies and don’t stay too grounded. Your thoughts need to be free. As an outsider, you might find the right balance that I can’t as someone who’s always lived in this world…or you might feel sorry that you got me involved in this and get on all fours to lick my boot.”

“I do feel bad, but not that bad.”

“Works for me. I don’t want you licking my boot.”

“Now it sounds like something else.”

“Don’t mind. I knew this day would come.”

“…”

Huh? Another one of those cool lines you’d expect from an unlikely duo of crime-fighters? As in, it was clear we’d fight side by side eventually─but when I tried to ask her what she meant, it was a bit late for such questions.

We’d arrived at our destination.

My prediction turned out to be half right, half wrong─no, I’m grading myself too easily.

Objectively speaking, I was ninety percent wrong. I’d only gotten the location right.

Of course, it was sort of impressive that I’d gotten the location right at least: where the abandoned cram school Mèmè Oshino once treated as his castle and keep used to stand.

That much was right.

In my world, it’d caught fire and turned into a burnt-out field, leaving no traces behind. The same wasn’t true in this world.

In fact─a completely different building stood there.

“Daze…”

I was so dazed that I actually said the word. I mean, I wouldn’t be this surprised if I’d seen an office complex, a house, a store─simply another building.

Actually, it didn’t matter where. I’d be just as surprised if this stood anywhere in town, former cram-school site or not.

“…”

There, on the real estate Mèmè Oshino once treated as his castle and keep, was an actual castle for goodness’ sake.