Monogatari Series - Volume 12 - Chapter 1.16

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“Awaken, god─he said, waking me up, but thou art well aware of how much difficulty I have getting up.

“’Twas not as bad since I’d merely gone back to sleep, but he seemed to lose his temper when I did not respond and stomped right into my shrine.

“The inside of a shrine is the most sacred part of any sacred ground.

“Or so I’d said, stating that none shall enter outside of an emergency─a decision made, of course, to maintain my pleasant lifestyle.

“Though ’twas by happenstance, they treated me as a god.

“’Twould not be seemly for them to see me lazing around…but now he saw me at last.

“What insolence, I yelled, trying at least to act appropriately divine, but it must not have had much of an effect after he’d seen my nearly naked body lying face-down on the floor─he didn’t seem very surprised, either.

“’Twas as though this was not the time for such things.

“In fact─if anyone was surprised, ’twas I.

“Because he was alone─a man who always used to bring a massive retinue with him as if he were showing off his favorite medals and decorations.

“I was surprised to see such a man acting on his own. I was sincerely surprised─to the point that I snapped wide-awake. Ye may think I was too surprised, but listen, that’s truly how unusual it was.

“Well, ’twas not as though that entire throng would enter my shrine, so perhaps he entered alone after making them wait outside─perhaps I could have speculated so, but the chances of that, too, seemed slim. If that is what he required, he would have sent in one of his underlings.

“Thou might say he was a man who hated being alone─did he always need attention, ye say? Hm. He was quite a different type of man than thee in the sense that he enjoyed mixing with people. Then again, ’tis not as though thou art alone by choice…

“But that kind of man was acting alone.

“Surprised, I asked, ‘What happened?’─by this point, I had fumbled about in my brain and erased my memories, so I realized not at all what had happened to the neighboring villages.

“In fact, I was astounded to hear of the calamity he then spoke of─but then even I began to recall it as he spoke. His words caused my brain cells to regenerate in that shape.

“How I criticized myself, saying, Ah, how could I forget such an important thing? I did a great deal of reflecting.

“’Tis a lie, of course… My only feelings were, Oh dear, what an unpleasant memory. Perhaps I’ll forget it by the time I wake up if I go to sleep─I suppose my thoughts were repeating all over again in a cycle.

“I certainly wasn’t going back to sleep yet again with Aberration Slayer I there─not to mention that he’d brought me new information.

“It concerned his underlings─the reason why he hadn’t dragged them along behind him as he always did.

“Well, ’tis exactly as ye predict.

“In fact, ’tis exactly as I just said.

“They too─were gone.

“Gone─disappeared.

“Off to somewhere.

“He said they’d disappeared just as the villagers had─to start from the beginning, it seems that the group of experts noticed the communities being empty quite some time before me.

“And they properly investigated it, unlike me─what an admirable bunch, not going home and sleeping. Nay, I jest not. I admire those who work, even I respect that.

“Thou, too, must feel a sense of admiration looking at worker ants and worker bees, ’tis no different from that─though that is as far as my praise can go, as it ended with them vanishing without exception.

“It sounded as though they too disappeared gradually, not all fifty-or-so at once─and Aberration Slayer I noticed at some point that he was alone.

“Unlike me, he must have felt quite menaced─or perhaps more frightened than menaced. That lover of crowds must have come to me alone not out of any sense of duty but out of a feeling of fear. He had grown desperate.

“But whatever his reasoning, it did not really matter. He was ultimately moved to action, making him admirable all the same.

“Far more praiseworthy than I.

“And for my part─I, with my divine affectation, naturally decided to hear him out before solemnly offering to investigate the matter. Not that there was any point in trying to act like a god in front of a single person… And ’twas not as if Aberration Slayer I was a follower of mine.

“’Twas habit.

“While I’d already traveled ’round the neighboring villages and understood the situation, the premise was that I’d forgotten─explaining it to him would reveal that I’d fiddled with my brain─so I traveled the villages again, this time with Aberration Slayer I─over the course of two full days.

“’Twas like locking a door I’d already latched─there were no changes, of course. The populace who’d been ‘spirited away’ had not all reappeared out of the blue.

“And so─no one was there.

“Well, unlike me, a monster who only ate, Aberration Slayer I was, at the end of the day, an expert. Rather than haphazardly search here and there, he verified the situation from this angle and that─but he came up empty.

“I castigated him, saying that he truly craved company. But he was more than a man who merely acted important, dragging his flunkies around with him everywhere─not a man who was useless on his own.

“I, more than anyone else, had seen him in such a light.

“I saw him in a bit of a new one, and admired him.

“To describe it as I once did with thee─perhaps I grew fond of him. For the way he searched for the disappeared villagers, his disappeared men─aye.

“Though his efforts were for naught.

“He neither gained nor found any results at all─’twas almost strange how little there was. In retrospect, that in itself was abnormal─’twas a time when aberrations…when the dark had a deeper, closer relationship to humans than today.

“’Twas unthinkable for there ‘to be nothing.’

“Though guilt beyond a reasonable doubt may be a suggested standard, there was not even anything about which to be doubtful. ’Twas as if…oh, how should I put it… Aye, there we go.

“’Twas like a perfect crime.

“While there may be no such thing as a perfect crime with aberrations, humans are capable of perfect crimes, so this was a perfect crime committed by a human, I decided in what now strikes me as a bit of a shallow syllogism, and washed my hands of a ‘spiriting away’ that I deemed to be the work of men─Aberration Slayer I did as well─but there was a flaw in this logic.

“The possibility that there may be perfect crimes committed by aberrations? Nay, we’re not trying to examine such a claim, there’s another possibility to consider before we start splitting hairs.

“Aye─the possibility that ’twas not the work of an aberration, nor the work of a human.

“A third possibility.

“It had taken us long enough, but we arrived at it─Aberration Slayer I and I. But rather than arrive, perhaps we’d been cornered into a position where we had no choice but to think it.

“Even so, given my devil-may-care, happy-go-lucky personality, I was not depressed─the way Aberration Slayer I was.

“Had it been caused by an aberration, ’twould have been one thing─or had a human been the culprit, but both he and I had not a clue how to deal with a case that was neither.

“’Twas beyond our expertise.

“While I eat aberrations and suck the blood of humans─I am a vampire who does that and nothing more, if I did also act as though I was a god then. As for Aberration Slayer I, though he had his knowledge, he had already lost the forty-nine underlings who acted as his arms and legs. His trusty enchanted blades, Kokorowatari and Yumewatari, were indeed valuable and divine items, but as one can tell from their names, Aberration Slayer and Aberration Savior, they could only be used on such.

“Aberration Slayer I was also a man in a position of power─but that power could only be demonstrated on humans.

“Our performance would have been impeccable had it been an aberration or a human─but we could do nothing in our situation. Rather, there was naught to do.

“What we could─had vanished.

“But as I’ve already said time and again, I was not diligent, and was not particularly saddened or depressed to find I had naught to do─but Aberration Slayer I was…and he wasn’t recovering.

“How weak the elite are in the face of setbacks.

“’Twas no time to be so depressed, in all honesty─myself aside, ’twas no time for Aberration Slayer I to be enjoying the full range of his states of mind so.

“After all─how could one see human after human disappearing, vanishing like smoke, and think that ye are the one exception? Then again.

“’Tis human to be able to do just that.”