Monogatari Series - Volume 11 - Chapter 1.14

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That was the moment.

The light in the room has been casting Big Brother Koyomi’s shadow onto the carpet, and a young blond girl comes flying out of it.

“Vampire Punch!”

The girl runs her fist straight into Koyomi’s chin as she yells the words.

A perfect uppercut.

“Gaah!”

Koyomi bends backwards, then keeps tipping over to fall on the floor face-up.

So weak!

He let himself get defeated like some kind of punching-bag character you’d see at the very beginning of a battle manga. He was so weak you could compare him to a flimsy piece of paper.

“Hmph!” the young girl grunts, twisting in the air to land on the ceiling without a sound.

She’s wearing a fluttering dress but does a good job holding its fabric between her thighs so that the hem doesn’t flip up.

Her hair looks like it’s standing on end, though.

…i believe the girl was wearing a helmet the last time i saw her─but it seems the helmet played out as a fad.

Yes.

It was a vampire who leapt out of Koyomi’s shadow, no, the former vampire, Miss Shinobu Oshino.

Even i feel a little strange about calling someone who looks like an eight-year-old girl “Miss,” but according to Miss Shinobu, she’s actually five hundred years old. Normally, i might need to call her “Mistress” and not just “Miss.”

…Right.

She must be the same as Mister Serpent in that sense─and now Nadeko realizes why he’s been so quiet all this time.

Not because Koyomi was there, but because Miss Shinobu was close by─that’s why he’s been staying still.

If you just go by age, Mister Serpent must be the older of the two, and even if no one believes in him now, he’s still a god, while Miss Shinobu is a vampire. So you might not see the need─but then, Miss Shinobu is “King of the Aberrations” after all.

The ruler of unlife.

In other words, every aberration is food to her.

The title of “top of the food chain” fits Miss Shinobu better than anyone─she might easily gobble down Mister Serpent (especially at his current size).

Swallowing a snake alive would be a bad joke.

Not something you could laugh about.

“Phew… ’Twas a close call,” Miss Shinobu says still stuck to the ceiling and wiping the sweat from her brow.

Like someone who just finished a big job.

“We nearly ran afoul of some Tokyo publishing ordinances…good grief. My master’s lack of restraint is enough to drain the blood from even a vampire’s cheeks. I thought I might suffer a bout of anemia.”

“…”

It’s such a contemporary subject for her to touch on.

Not something you’d expect from a vampire, but Miss Shinobu seems to be influenced pretty heavily by Koyomi, so maybe it’s wrong to seek a level of refinement from her that matches her appearance.

“Now, then.”

Miss Shinobu drops from the ceiling.

Agilely, like some rhythmic gymnast, she avoids Koyomi and lands on the floor.

She follows that by rubbing her chin.

Around the same spot where she punched Big Brother.

“As our senses are linked, my master’s pain becomes mine as well, yet… Heh, so ’tis not a problem if I knock him unconscious before he has any chance to feel distress.”

“…”

What a frightening thing to say.

Koyomi is still on the floor and not moving a finger. Is this “rattling the brain with a punch to the jaw,” like in boxing?

Your brain getting rattled sounds pretty serious, though.

i mean, it’s your brain.

“Are ye all right, forelocked girl?” Miss Shinobu looks at Nadeko and asks.

Her gaze makes it seem like she’s not particularly interested in Nadeko─no.

Not being interested isn’t quite it─but in that case, i wouldn’t know how to describe her expression.

i can’t even read humans.

How would i ever read a vampire?

“What a pinch, ’tis good I made it in time. Ye nearly had to give birth to a child, at thy age.”

“W-Was it that kind of situation?”

“Well.” Miss Shinobu takes a step toward Nadeko─and i involuntarily flinch. “Looking at thee thus, I suppose I could understand─why my master is so infatuated with thee. Ye’ve quite the neat form.”

“…”

It’s scary when she stares at Nadeko up close.

i’m dealing with a vampire, after all.

While she might be lacking her bloodsucking ability at the moment…she can’t hide the fangs peeking from her mouth, and can’t seem to be bothered to.

Fangs.

Different from a snake’s─fangs.

“Hm.” Taking her eyes off of Nadeko, who’s frozen in place, Miss Shinobu then says, “Second cutest after myself!”

“…”

Is that praise? She’s evaluated Nadeko in a way that i don’t understand.

Still, Miss Shinobu coming close to Nadeko meant the opposite, too, and i got a good look at the “moddeling” of Miss Shinobu’s face…and she’s alluringly cute.

A lot cuter than Nadeko.

“Ah, um…M-M-Miss…Shinobu?”

“Utter not my name with such familiarity.”

Having nothing specific to say in mind, i address Miss Shinobu for no reason, with no mind, and she swats Nadeko down.

How do i explain it.

It feels like there’s no room for compromise.

“For the more thy kind speaks my name, the tighter I am bound by it─not that I intend on reclaiming my old appellation at this point,” Miss Shinobu says as she pulls Koyomi off the floor. He’s dead weight, still passed out with no signs of waking up. “Be that as it may, a waif who has not been alive for so much as a decade shan’t act familiar with me.”

“…”

i have been alive for a decade, though, being in the second year of middle school.

But after how Miss Shinobu shut Nadeko out a moment ago, i don’t have the courage to assert Nadeko’s age, naturally. Not an ounce anywhere.

Pointing out a mistake also takes a certain license.

Privately, though, i think that she’s become very talkative─when we first met in June (though i’m not sure it’s right to say that we “met”), Miss Shinobu didn’t speak a word and was even more taciturn of a person than Nadeko.

Well, of a demon, not a person.

No, wait. Was she more than half human now?

It’s not like i’ve heard the details…and even if i did, i don’t think i’d get it.

Regardless, i do feel a tinge of sadness that Miss Shinobu, someone i thought i knew to be a friend in silence, is now on the side of the talkers.

Well, i say that, but it’s not like i really believed that we were buddies… Even in June, i got plenty of scary stares from her.

There’s nothing in common anyway, not a thing, between Miss Shinobu back then, who was quiet because she was mad, and Nadeko now, who’s quiet because she’s scared and doesn’t know what to do…

“Well, forelocked girl. As my master said too, ’twould be best for thee to sleep in that bed this night. Him, I shall take down to the first floor, to lay atop the sofa, so be at ease.”

“Th…”

Thank you seems like the wrong thing to say.

Miss Shinobu probably saw it as having saved Big Brother more than Nadeko…so i pull the half-spoken words back to tell her:

“i’m sorry.”

Even i don’t know why i’m apologizing in this situation, but if i had to say, my meaning is i’m sorry for making you do all this work for the sake of someone like Nadeko.

“Hmph…what an apologetic girl thou art.”

“…”

“But I do wonder. Are ye apologizing because ye feel bad, or because ye’ve read the mood─this situation would involve an apology─like one would a script?”

“…”

“Good morning when ye wake up, good night when ye go to bed, thank thee for the meal when ye eat. Is it the same for thine apologies?”

“…”

“Silence, eh. Well, I am in no place to find fault in that─having been quite silent in like manner myself.”

“…”

“Kakak.”

Whatever it is that she found funny─she laughs at Nadeko, who is now just waiting, her eyes downcast, for Miss Shinobu to carry Koyomi out of the room.

It sounded scornful.

But maybe the best way to describe it would be mocking.

i feel like─she’s looking down on Nadeko.

“Kakak─kak. Kakak.”

“…? U-Um,” i can’t help but ask.

i end up asking even though i shouldn’t.

But, and maybe it’s because the two are linked, being laughed at this way by Miss Shinobu─practically feels like being laughed at by Big Brother.

i know it can’t be true─but that’s why.

Nadeko can’t stop herself from asking.

Also─i feel anxious. Mister Serpent is still pretending to be a scrunchy on Nadeko’s right wrist, but there’s no guarantee his mimicry is working on Miss Shinobu, no matter how good he is.

i doubt Miss Shinobu would just go ahead and devour Mister Serpent now that she seems to be on good terms with Koyomi…but since an aberration is enwrapping Nadeko’s wrist, it wouldn’t be surprising if i seemed suspicious.

She might even tell Koyomi about it once he’s conscious again precisely because they’re on good terms…

“Wh-What’s…so funny?”

“Funny? Nay, there’s nothing funny. I simply laughed since it all makes sense. Did I not just tell thee? That I understand─why my master should be infatuated?”

“…”

i don’t have to ask to know that by “master” she means Big Brother…but why is it?

The Koyomi i’m hearing in Miss Shinobu’s words sounds like someone very far away from Nadeko.

“’Tis merely that I understood anew. When ye cast down thy face, and thine eyes, timid and frail, and with thy whole body say, ‘Aye, I am pitiful as I do seem,’ it arouses not just in my master but in a vicious being such as myself, a desire to shelter─”

“…”

Pitiful. A pitiful─girl.

“But speaking of vicious─forelocked girl. Shall I explain to thee why cuteness too is quite the vicious weapon?” continues Miss Shinobu, in a mean-spirited tone.

Yes.

Her smile now is different even from her sneer a moment ago. It must be what Koyomi calls her “gruesome smile”─back in June, Miss Shinobu was a vampire who never so much as cracked one, but this smiling face makes her seem only the more frightening.

“A beast’s offspring, or a human’s for that matter, arousing the desire to shelter it through appearance or manner is a weapon, by use of which the weak survive. Nay, perhaps not just the weak? Even I have seen others grow careless through no act of my own but by dint of my adorable looks─hmph. The same would apply for that little Ononoki from the other day.”

“…”

“Mimicry─one could call it. The opposite of a warning color, mayhap.”

Then.

Miss Shinobu seems to glance at Nadeko’s right wrist and smirk─i don’t know, it could be Nadeko’s imagination.

Maybe i’m being too self-conscious because Nadeko is hiding something…

Still, her body starts to quiver.

Her tongue is tied, and talking is out of the question.

“Cuteness is a weapon rivaling strength─but I am not about to argue that I, as one with both, am therefore the most powerful of all. That should go without saying. I simply mean to observe ’tis fortunate that ye can make murderous intent vanish by naught more than quaking thus.”

“…”

That’s─no.

Is that fortunate?

Nadeko is well-behaved, quiet, shy around people─so they just assume she’s a serious and good girl─and force her to be class president and do things no one else wants to do─

It’s one misfortune after another. Betraying one expectation after another.

Letting people down─is so painful.

“i-i’m not…fortunate.”

“Really? Hmm? Are ye not always treated with kindness for merely staying quiet? Are ye not thought of as intelligent for merely staying quiet? Are ye not thought of as thoughtful for merely staying quiet? Do they not smile even when thou art incapable? Is silence not all ye need to avoid anything unpleasant? Are ye not valued more than others for doing the same work? Are ye not admired more than others for uttering the same words? Are ye not spared the world’s wrath even in failure? Are ye not forgiven even for thy lies?”

“Th-That’s…” Nadeko shakes her head, “That’s what i can’t stand. It isn’t fortunate… I-It’s like discrimination, and N-Nadeko─”

“When thou art troubled.” i put everything Nadeko had into her reply, but Miss Shinobu refuses to listen─and just goes on, ignoring Nadeko like she isn’t there at all. “Do others not come of their own will to rescue thee─in a quarrel, do others not assume thee to be the victim?”

“…”

“Hm. Perchance ’twas a performance on thy part, but I suppose not. In other words, that cuteness, those mannerisms, are natural, the result of no special exertion. Devoted to my own self-improvement as I am, my envy is boundless,” Miss Shinobu deadpans, not sounding the least bit envious.

The sense that she’s looking down on Nadeko is as strong as ever.

If anything, it’s only growing.

“Do ye know what we call the naturally cute such as thyself?”

“…”

“Come now, ’twas a question─answer it if ye wish.”

Uh oh.

Nadeko can answer it if she wishes…

“i…i don’t know. V…‘Vishus’?”

“Devilish,” states Miss Shinobu, overruling Nadeko.

Devilish. Devilish?

“Thou art easily more monstrous than any aberration, if ye would─kakak,” Miss Shinobu laughs again. “Nay, ’tis fine, ’tis fine. My apologies, that went too far. What am I, of all creatures, saying to a mere human? Ye need not change. Live as such, ’tis none of my concern. Live as such and die as such. Aye, let Big Brother Koyomi worry over thee for the rest of thy life.”

With that, Miss Shinobu finally takes him and leaves the room, not so much carrying as dragging him, like he’s a bit heavy.

Out in the hallway, she looks back and opens her mouth again. Her eyes aren’t just looking down on Nadeko but brimming with contempt.

“Aren’t ye glad ye happen to be cute.”