Monogatari Series - Volume 11 - Chapter 1.10

010

The next morning, Nadeko goes to school like always.

Yes, i might be hallucinating, i may be possessed by a god, but i still have to go to school─that’s what being a middle school student means.

i wake up in the morning, change into Nadeko’s school uniform, and start heading to school.

A true middle school life.

If there’s anything at all out of the ordinary, it’s the white scrunchy around Nadeko’s right wrist─and i hate that i’ll need to insist that it’s there because of Nadeko’s sense of fashion.

“H-Hey, Mister Serpent, i don’t mind that you’re sticking to Nadeko’s wrist… i’ve already given up on it, but can you really not become invisible to other people?”

“It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t want to be using any more of my power than this─right now, by borrowing your body, I’m getting to take it easy.”

“You’re getting to…”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like they can hear me─and I’ll pretend like I’m just a plain old accessory while you’re at school. I don’t mean to infringe on your everyday life, you see.”

“…”

i was trying to warn him that Nadeko’s teachers might confiscate him, but along the way, i start to feel Nadeko isn’t up to explaining it well, and that’s where that exchange ends.

Nadeko getting scolded would be the end of it.

If they confiscate him, then i guess that’s that.

Whatever happens, it can just happen.

And so, i arrive at school. Nadeko switches out her shoes at the cupboard─and of course no white snake comes crawling out of it today.

The hallucinations were a message sent to Nadeko by Mister Serpent─they were messengers, and there’s no need for them now that we’re communicating directly.

Apparently he “summoned up his last remaining strength” to send his message to Nadeko…

“Hey, hey, Nadeko─why are you changing into a different pair of shoes? Why do you need to do that?”

“…i dunno. i never thought about it, but, well, to keep the school clean. Um, please don’t talk, okay?”

“Yeah, I get it─you don’t need to keep on insisting. I’ve always been on the taciturn side. Just like you, Nadeko.”

“…”

Nadeko can’t bring herself to believe him. Will Mister Serpent really pretend to be a plain old accessory?

Nadeko’s classmates don’t greet her any differently when i walk into the classroom─and in the end Nadeko makes it to her seat like always.

“School, eh─well, similiar educational activities took place at that shrine once upon a time.”

“…”

i guess you could say i was right.

Mister Serpent isn’t going to stay silent even when there are people around.

While he does “pretend to be an accessory” as far as staying enwrapped around Nadeko’s right wrist and not fidgeting, i wouldn’t say that he’s keeping his promise.

“Look at the unnatural orderliness─it’s disgusting,” he says. “Or wait, is this something unique to this one class? It’s like you’re keeping each other in check, like there’s all this tension in the air─or how would I describe it─”

“…”

Nadeko gets out of her seat.

Then i leave the classroom. From there, i walk across the hallway, go up the stairs, and move all the way to the door to the roof we’re not allowed on.

“Hey, Mister Serpent?”

“What is it?”

“Be quiet,” i ask seriously. It’s the first time i’ve ever been this blunt to a person.

Though he’s a snake, not a person. And also a god.

i doubt i’ve ever asked for something this seriously though, not on Nadeko’s first shrine visit of the year, not even on New Year’s Day.

“Hsshh, hsshh─sorry about that. I guess I lied when I said I was taciturn.”

“You shouldn’t flip-flop so fast…”

Not that i ever believed him.

But it’s not like i can ignore how brayzen he’s being just because i didn’t believe him… In fact, i even feel “indignent” at the way he’s admitting it.

“Listen, Mister Serpent.”

“What is it?”

“i think you know this, but Nadeko is a well-behaved girl.”

“Well-behaved?”

“A well-behaved, reserved, and calm girl.”

“Sounds like someone you never notice.”

“Right. A girl you never notice, that’s Nadeko,” i whisper to Nadeko’s wrist.

…The problem is how it must look─we’re only okay now because we’re in an empty stairwell.

The picture is a big problem.

“When a girl you never notice is seen talking to her wrist by her classmates, guess what they’d think?”

“What?”

“That she’s a ‘pitiful girl.’”

Upgraded from well-behaved to pitiful─no, Nadeko should be honest with herself and just call it a downgrade.

With the state Nadeko’s class is in, it would be a disaster.

“Really? I feel like not much would change─what’s your position shifting around a bit going to do?”

“…”

How am i supposed to answer that? Nadeko’s position…

“It’s not like you talk to anyone to begin with, so why does it matter what they think─people can think anything they want about you, it’s all the same if you never speak to them. Am I wrong?”

“…”

Hm? Wait, is that true?

i’m almost convinced, but i also feel like i’m being tricked… i don’t think a god would ever dupe a person, but if anyone can play with human emotions however they want, it’s going to be a god.

He does lie, after all.

And─he preys on Nadeko’s weakness.

“A-Anyway, Mister Serpent.”

“Hm? C’mon, Nadeko. Have you gotten through your entire life switching topics with words like ‘anyway’ and ‘that aside’? Without ever having a proper conversation? I haven’t even managed to convince you but you don’t bother arguing back. Is that how you get by in this world, Nadeko? By setting things aside without even considering them?”

“…Anyway.”

How Nadeko gets by in this world.

She does it by─looking down and falling silent.

By waiting─until they go away.

“You promised Nadeko she could do what she wanted during the day…remember? That she could live her life like normal during the day… That i only had to look for your ‘corpse’ at night…”

“I wouldn’t call it a promise, but yeah─now that you mention it.”

“…”

“No, sure, it was a promise─yeah. Okay, I know, you’re right. If you’re gonna spend your nights on me, dear, I don’t plan on getting in your way apart from that. I may be enwrapping your wrist, Nadeko, but it’s not like I’m a pair of handcuffs.”

“…”

Last night.

Mister Serpent and i made the following promise.

No, maybe you wouldn’t call it a promise, after all─and it’s not a deal, either, because Nadeko is just doing whatever Mister Serpent tells her to do.

Nadeko, dear. I want you to find my corpse─i trembled when he said that.

i cowered at that “gastly” word, corpse.

A corpse hunt?

“Wh-What do you mean? Y-Your…corpse…”

“Come on, Nadeko, don’t make it sound like something filthy─you look like an elementary schooler who’s just been told she has to clean the bathroom as punishment.”

“Wh-Why such a specific example?”

It’s not very god-like of him.

Hsshh, hsshh, hsshh, the Serpent laughed.

“Well─since I’ve merged with you, even if I can’t read your mind or access your memories, I’m able to pull out a good bit of your knowledge.”

“Are minds and memories and knowledge all different?”

i didn’t really get it.

Was it like the relationship between Koyomi and Miss Shinobu, or maybe between Miss White Hanekawa and Miss Black Hanekawa? No, the one between Nadeko and Mister Serpent doesn’t seem nearly as equal as those two combinations.

“Of course, a child not wanting to have to clean a bathroom is nothing new─but Nadeko, I’m not asking you to clean anything. I just want you to pick up some trash.”

“Some trash?”

“I wouldn’t call it a treasure hunt─even I wouldn’t call my own corpse treasure. But humans used to treat that corpse as a god.”

“…?”

“An object of worship, in other words. My corpse that was once deified at the shrine…though it’s been lost now.”

Lost─but more must have been lost than that object of worship.

Everything there, at Kita-Shirahebi Shrine, has been lost─its object of worship, faith─the power, everything.

Right now.

It’s just a place.

No, maybe i should even say─it used to be just a place, used to be just a hangout.

“That’s right. The fact that I can be this way─is a miracle. Well, it was that vampire─Shinobu Oshino, the former Kissshot. Maybe I should say it’s all thanks to Acerolaorion Heartunderblade.”

“…”

When Miss Shinobu, king of aberrations, came to this town, a lot of things followed her, not just frauds like Mister Deishu Kaiki.

A lot of─bad things.

They were especially drawn to those ruins of a hangout─the air pocket that was the shrine.

It was those “bad things” along with her “method of undoing” it that activated the originally ineffective “charm” on Nadeko─

And.

What should have been a fallen god─Mister Serpent.

It also resurrected him.

“So this is because of Miss Shinobu again…” Nadeko said, drooping her shoulders.

i couldn’t tell Big Brother.

From that point of view, at least, Nadeko was right to refuse his help.

“Simply by being strong, she has an effect, both positive and negative, on her surroundings. She can’t be held responsible for that─and anyway, my dear, you’re making it sound like this is all someone else’s responsibility, but your massacre is one of the reasons all of this is happening.”

“…”

There was nothing i could say to that.

Not that i ever have anything to say.

“But even my moving, miraculous resurrection is only temporary─it’s a temporary miracle. Something like an illusion. I’m going to disappear soon.”

Again, the Serpent said.

“Right now I’m like a ghost.”

“…Th-The ghost of a god?”

Or of an aberration? It was hard to keep straight.

Something like a hallucination?

“The details─I’ll omit, but someone used up just about all the ‘bad things’ hanging around that hangout. Those ‘bad things’ are the energy powering my current form, but that very spiritual energy got used for something pretty trivial. All I could do was watch in silence from inside the shrine,” the Serpent said.

i heard an unusual note in his voice that you might call a sense of “angwish.”

i didn’t really get it, but what sort of terrible person uses up Mister Serpent’s energy source without even asking first?

“Wh-Who would…do that?”

“Well, you know, it was Shinobu.”

It was Shinobu. Miss Shinobu.

She was the cause and the effect.

It’s kind of like setting a fire so you can take credit for putting it out.

“Those ‘bad things’ gathered in the hangout due to that vampire’s strength, so she could do whatever she wanted with them─at the same time, it nearly caused the concept that is me to vanish.”

“And…you need your corpse, so that you don’t vanish?”

A new source of energy.

To survive, to go on living─well, i shouldn’t say “living” in this case.

Just─to “continue being.”

To thrive.

“Yes, that’s it. In other words, my version of ‘food’─I guess you need to eat to keep yourself going whether you’re a god or a human.”

“Food…”

“Eating, in order to live. Although in my case, I don’t kill in order to live.”

“…”

“Hmm? Seems like there’s something you want to say─‘Nadeko had to kill those snakes in order to live, so how can she be blamed for that,’ maybe?”

“N-No, that’s not it… And anyway, Nadeko failed… Just─”

“Just what?”

“Nothing.”

“Tsk.” Mister Serpent sounded irritated that Nadeko took back her words─and you probably would be, too, confronted with someone who never committed and always ran away. “If there’s something you want to say, come out and say it─how else can we build a relationship of trust?”

“A relationship of trust…”

“Or do you not want to build one? You’ll have to speak up, though─unlike all the humans you’ve dealt with until now, Nadeko, I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to stay here wrapped around your right arm, and you can’t get away from me.”

“That’s…because you’re using Nadeko as your energy source now─right? Like a backup battery…”

“It’s just an ad-hoc measure. I really am going to up and vanish as things stand─which is why I need you to find my corpse, no matter what it takes.”

“And you…can’t find it yourself, i guess?” He wouldn’t be asking Nadeko for help otherwise.

“Yeah─I can’t leave that shrine, generally speaking.”

“Huh…”

When i think about it later.

The line was a slip-up on Mister Serpent’s part─but Nadeko accepted that he “can’t leave the shrine” without giving it any real consideration…

i should have given it thought.

The reason why he “can’t leave the shrine.”

“That’s why I need you to help me, dear. To find my corpse.”

“C-Could you please stop repeating that word…Mister Serpent? I-It’s scary, and kind of dreadful…”

“Like I said, don’t be calling a corpse scary or dreadful or dirty. And I mean that for all corpses, not just mine.”

“i-i never said dirty…”

It was Mister Serpent who compared it to cleaning a bathroom.

And, even though it’s not like Nadeko is ever happy to do it, she never skips out on cleaning duty, whatever the assignment.

Nadeko doesn’t want anyone getting mad at her, you see.

“i wouldn’t have as much trouble talking about it…if you called it an object of worship.”

“It’s embarrassing to call my own corpse an object of worship─I don’t want you to exalt it, I want you to exhume it. Hah, both of those words begin with ‘ex’ but what a big difference in impression… In any case, that’s what I want to ask you to do, Nadeko.”

“…”

Find his corpse so he can continue being.

A corpse hunt, so he can thrive.

For all of that trouble to summon Nadeko─you could say it was a very simple request.

But.

It must have been a very pressing issue for Mister Serpent─there’s an expression in Japanese, thousand at sea, thousand on mount, which means experienced.

A snake that lives for a thousand years in the oceans and a thousand years in the mountains becomes a dragon… Judging from various things he said, Mister Serpent was probably just a regular snake once upon a time.

After that snake died, it was deified as that shrine’s object of worship─and when the shrine lost its faithful, Mister Serpent died a second time.

As for a third time.

i guess he was saying─no thanks.

“Hey, Mister Serpent.”

“What?”

“Why did you pick Nadeko as your partner?”

That was something i needed to ask him.

Nadeko understood that her only choice was to help the Serpent─which is exactly why i needed to hear the reason.

“It’s not like I picked you, really.”

But the Serpent’s reply was dismissive.

It was more than cool─well…

It was as coldblooded as a snake.

Not that i’m sure snakes are coldblooded that way.

“You were the only one I could rely on, that’s all.”

“…”

If you just took his words, it sounded like there might be a strong bond between us, but that wasn’t how he said it─he was just so blunt and straightforward.

“My dear, you’re the only channel I had, hmmmm?”

“Channel…”

“I tried to use a current term for your sake, Nadeko, but personally, I would describe it as a karmic tie. Without faith, that shrine wasn’t connected to anyone─aside from you, Nadeko, who busily applied yourself to killing snakes on its premises, of all things.”

“So you didn’t decide on Nadeko, there was no one besides Nadeko… But then Big Brother Koyomi and Miss Shinobu─”

“Yes, they did have their share of fun at the shrine─but that’s a bit too weak as far as karmic ties go. The channel’s signal isn’t strong enough. After all, Nadeko, you killed my brethren─you slaughtered my thralls, and that’s enough to make our tie strong. It still took nearly two full months to get the tuning right. It was like taking that thin little link and reeling it in like it was a wet noodle.”

“…”

So that’s what it was.

In the end─it was punishment, for a crime.

i wasn’t chosen by any means.

i would be atoning.

No matter what the Serpent says─no matter how he softens it for Nadeko, all this is the aftermath of what i did then.

The wet noodle analogy was weird, though.

Maybe he went with something thin and long because he’s a snake?

“…Meals,” i blurted out.

“Hmm?”

“Meals. People eat.”

“Oh─yeah, I ate too when I was ‘living’─and like I said, I still need energy in order to ‘continue being,’ and that’s what I’m trying to get from you.”

“Y-You said what Nadeko did is different from having your daily bread…but couldn’t it be the same?”

“What’s that? Are you trying to make excuses?”

“N-No, that’s not it…”

It was hard to explain. Nadeko can’t put her feelings into words.

But this─was the same thing i started to say to Mister Serpent earlier, before stopping.

i should have tried at least, for the sake of our partnership.

Even if it came out sounding clumsy.

“What Nadeko wants to say…is that there must be consequences to eating a meal…if you’re going to say that crimes are always met with punishment.”

“…”

“i thought that was the food chain… Anything that eats is eaten by something else. But…once you’re at the top, i guess you don’t get eaten anymore.” Nadeko was thinking as she spoke. “Humans─aren’t eaten by anything. We only eat, only kill… There’s no punishment for our crime.”

“…”

“When people say ‘thank you for this meal’ before they eat, i wonder how much they’re feeling that they’re treating themselves to other lives.”

“The food chain is more complicated than that, you know. It just gets drawn as a pyramid because it’s easier to understand that way, but really, it should be drawn as a circle. Like an Ouroboros─even humans end up as food for microbes once they’re corpses.”

“…”

The “correct answer” made Nadeko go quiet─but no, that’s not what i wanted to say.

It wasn’t getting across. Not Nadeko’s words, nor their sense.

“What’s the matter, dear?”

“Nothing… Okay. Anyway.”

Oops, i said it. Anyway.

“Anyway, i just need to find your object of worship, right? And─once i do find it, you’ll free Nadeko.”

“Free you… I don’t mean to be forcing you to do anything, Nadeko. I’m just preying on your guilty conscience, that’s all.”

“…”

That felt kind of forceful to me, but it was true. Mister Serpent wasn’t forcing Nadeko to go look for anything.

i’d been granted options.

Mister Serpent didn’t make Nadeko hallucinate white snakes (probably through this “channel” of his) because he wanted to threaten her everyday life. He wanted to send Nadeko a message, simply to summon Nadeko─

“A-Anyway…” i said again, “fine. Nadeko will look for your object of worship and find it.”

“That would save me. Though I’m not going to thank you.”

“…”

Why not?

Was it because he’s a god?

“So then, Mister Serpent. Where is your corpse?”

“Dunno.”

“Is it somewhere on that mountain?”

“Dunno.”

“Is it in this town?”

“Dunno.”

“When did it disappear?”

“Dunno.”

“About how big is it?”

“Dunno.”

“Is it big like the first time i saw you?”

“Dunno.”

“So is it small like you are now?”

“Dunno.”

“About how heavy is it?”

“Dunno.”

“Is it all bony? Or is it like a mummy?”

“Dunno.”

“About how old is it?”

“Dunno.”

“Okay!” Nadeko slapped her knee and said with a big smile. “With all of that to go by, i’ve practically found it alrea─hold on a gosh dern second!!”

Nadeko found herself playing the straight man.

Going along with it for a while and then interrupting herself, at that. Even Big Brother Koyomi doesn’t do that one much.

The fake accent was downright cringeworthy, too.

“H-How am i supposed to find it… So basically, you don’t know anything.”

“I suppose you could put it that way.”

It was the only way i could put it.

Language isn’t that expressive.

In fact, it might be easier to find a needle in a haystack─because at least in that case, you know there’s a needle somewhere in the haystack.

Not that i don’t have a hard time understanding why you would ever need to find a needle in a haystack…

“There’s no way…no way i could do that, even if Nadeko spent her whole life trying. Even if i kept on trying after being reborn as a princess.”

“Why are you assuming that you’d be reborn as a princess? Well, no, don’t worry. That’s why I’ve merged with you, Nadeko─as far as channels go, there are none I have a stronger connection to than my own corpse─that object of worship. You should be able to find it in no time at all if the two of us are one.”

“No time at all…”

“If you give it your best.”

“i don’t want to give it Nadeko’s best…”

“Could you please for once?”

“…”

So the scrunchy enwrapping Nadeko’s wrist was going to act as a dowsing rod? Then it really might be easier than finding a needle in a haystack.

But still.

“…Is there a possibility it doesn’t exist anymore?” i asked. “Because it’s been destroyed or burnt?”

“There is…and in that case, we’ll just have to give up.”

Mister Serpent said this like he was being gallant.

If he really was, though, maybe he should have forgotten about getting Nadeko’s help to begin with.

i’d have given up, if i were Mister Serpent, upon realizing that Nadeko was the only person who could help.

“…How much time do we have? By when does Nadeko need to…find Mister Serpent’s object of worship?”

“Not a clue─I’m like a candle in the wind, ready to go out at any moment. I’m relying on your energy now to continue being in this world─but again, you’re like a backup battery. Our standards don’t line up, unfortunately…”

“Standards?”

“It’s like keeping something plugged in for too long to a foreign power outlet─don’t worry, I don’t plan on taking over your body or anything, and I’m not going to stay merged with you until you die. If you don’t want to do this, dear, you can just wait it out and I’ll eventually disappear.”

“…”

“You’ve got two choices. Give it your best or bear it.”

“…”

It seemed like he was set on giving Nadeko a choice─but from Nadeko’s perspective, i didn’t have any.

At least, that’s what i thought.

i didn’t want to have to keep wearing the tacky scrunchy, and anyway, giving it her best and bearing it are the same to Nadeko.

“i’ll help you look… But Mister Serpent,” Nadeko said. “i can still go to school, right?”

“Hmmmm?”

“E-Er…i mean, can i still lead a normal life? N-Nadeko…d-doesn’t want people to be suspicious of her.”

“People? Who do you mean?”

“…Big Brother Koyomi,” Nadeko gave a straight answer to the Serpent’s question. “Because i told him it was nothing…that it was just Nadeko’s imagination.”

“…? In that case, dear, shouldn’t you be saying that you don’t want him to worry, rather than be suspicious of you? Isn’t that why you lied to him?”

“W-Well…”

i messed up. i slipped up.

“I thought,” the Serpent pressed, “you lied to him despite wanting him to save you because you didn’t want him to worry─was I wrong?”

“N-No, you’re not… Yes, that’s it. i don’t want him to worry. To worry…”

Mister Serpent gave a questioning look at the way Nadeko sounded like she was taking it back, but maybe he decided it wasn’t important. “Whatever,” he dismissed. “That’s what we’ll do, then─you’re right, I can’t ask you to spend all your time, day or night, for my sake. That’d be too brazen. And anyway, if you’re going to be searching for my corpse, that’s to say, object of worship, it’s better if you’re doing it at night.”

“…”

“Okay, so it’s decided. Days are yours, and nights are mine. As a show of gratitude for your self-sacrifice, I vow not to infringe on your private time─”

…

That was what happened last night.

It might be a little confusing because of how long it was, but all of that was a flashback. Now, i’m arguing with the Serpent on the landing of the stairs leading up to the school’s off-limits roof. Wait, no─now.

i’m in the middle of fighting Koyomi to the death now.

All of this is what’s flashing before Nadeko’s eyes, a kalaidoscope of revolving memories.

Regrets flying through her mind.

This whole time i’ve been thinking how Nadeko Sengoku could have gotten off what seems like her single-tracked fate─so.

Let’s get back to this turning kalaidoscope.

Spin spin spin spin.

“─Liar. And you’re a god, too.”

“Hold on… Sure, it was a lie when I said I’m taciturn, and I did vow not to infringe on your private time, but I never claimed that I wouldn’t talk. The mortal world is a novel thing to a god─well, actually, scratch that. It’s the same as it ever was.”

“…”

“They say that the heavens don’t talk, they make men talk instead─but I’m a talkative god. I don’t mean to make any trouble for you, though. I don’t mean to turn you into a ‘pitiful girl’…there’s no point in doing that. All right, all right, so I just need to stay quiet.”

“…”

“Fine, I won’t just stay quiet, I’ll get some shut-eye. Happy?”

I’m not the type to talk in my sleep, either, the Serpent promises.

“This is hibernating season, anyway…”

“Yeah. But please don’t actually hibernate. Be sure to wake up at night, because Nadeko can’t do anything on her own─”

And.

Just as Nadeko is making herself clear to Mister Serpent.

“Hey, Nadeko? What’re you doing over there?”

i hear a voice coming from behind.

To be precise, it’s coming from down the stairs─from Nadeko’s teacher, Mister Sasayabu, who is looking up toward her.

Mister Sasayabu’s nickname is Panda-sensei. Not because he looks like a panda (in fact, he’s skinny) but only because of his name, which means “bamboo grass”─though Year 2, Class 2 is no longer the kind of place that calls its homeroom teacher by a nickname.

“i, i─”

Nadeko replies as she turns around, a little concerned about the hem of her skirt given the angle between us on the stairs.

“i’m nothing.”

A slip of the tongue.

i mix together “i’m fine” with “It’s nothing” and end up sounding like a girl who’s up for anything.

“?”

Mister Sasayabu tilts his head.

Of course he does.

“i’m fine,” Nadeko simply restates. She lacks the wit to turn a misstep into a joke and land on her feet…and just feels embarrassed.

It will be enough to make Nadeko feel depressed for about three days.

“i-i just tried to go up to the roof for a breath of fresh air, but then, it, the door, was locked…and Nadeko found herself at an im, im, im─”

i try to say “impass,” but the word seems so hollow in its formality that i stutter.

“…”

From there, Nadeko falls silent.

i don’t like lying.

No, it’s not that i don’t like it, i’m just bad at it…

Even now, having lied reflexively, i can’t stop looking at the floor.

“C’mon, Sengoku. You ought to know that the roof is off-limits. Haven’t I always told you guys?”

“…”

Nadeko can’t reply to Mister Sasayabu’s completely accurate statement.

i go quiet when things get difficult.

That’s who Nadeko is, glad to make your acquaintance.

It’s true that Nadeko knew that the roof was off-limits, and it’s because people don’t come this way that i chose it for a “confedential” talk with Mister Serpent…

Mister Sasayabu probably passed by after supervising a club’s morning practice─i believe he’s the advisor for the wind instruments club, which meets in the music room.

“…i’m sorry.”

In the end, Nadeko apologizes out loud because it’s just as hard staying quiet in front of her homeroom teacher.

Between the Silence and Apology commands, i picked Apology.

Nadeko doesn’t need to lower her head.

She is looking at the floor, so it’s like her head is already bowing─though maybe it doesn’t look that way because Nadeko is on these stairs, as i said earlier, and higher up than Mister Sasayabu.

“It’s almost first bell,” he tells me.

He seems to have put Nadeko’s suspicious behavior aside─he’s looking at her the way adults often do, in other words, maybe not at a “pitiful girl” but at a “vexing girl.”

If you were to put it into words, it says, “There seems to be some kind of problem here, but dealing with it would be tiresome.”

i wish they knew how much it hurts when they look at a child that way…but i don’t have the courage to say so.

Plus it’s tiresome for Nadeko, too.

“Okay,” she just replies, “i’ll be right there. We have a quiz today.”

“Yes… Can you help me hand out the─hm?” Mister Sasayabu interrupts himself. Finding this odd, i read his expression, and it’s saying, “What’s that?”

Oh, i think─in apologizing, Nadeko instinctively put both her hands on her thighs. In other words, she exposed her wrists to Mister Sasayabu.

In other words, Mister Serpent on her right wrist.

Nadeko gulps.

The Serpent is quiet─he doesn’t talk, and he stays enwrapped around Nadeko’s right wrist, not moving an inch.

In that state, he really seems like just a tacky scrunchy─not that he could do anything about the tackiness if he tried.

Anyway, the Serpent doesn’t say anything.

He pretends to be an accessory like he promised.

i’m glad, but in this case, just because he’s pretending to be an accessory doesn’t mean─

“Well, fine… I’ll let it pass,” i hear Mister Sasayabu mumble.

Like he’s talking to himself and doesn’t mean for Nadeko to hear.

i guess he doesn’t find Mister Serpent suspicious and was just noting Nadeko’s violation of the school rules.

Immoderate accessories are subject to confiscation…

It seems like Mister Sasayabu decided to overlook it, though.

i’m not grateful.

Because it’s just another case of feeling that “dealing with this girl is tiresome.”

It’s just what i was expecting, too.

…It’s true that Nadeko herself finds being treated in such a way nice and “hassel-free.” It’s relaxing for a student when a homeroom teacher doesn’t want to get too involved with you.

i breathe out a sigh of relief and wonder if i should wear a blouse with longer sleeves tomorrow, but…

“By the way, Sengoku. What your teacher asked you to do the other day─how’s it going?” Mister Sasayabu says, making Nadeko breathe her sigh back in with an ack.

Not like that’s a real figure of speech.

“H-How’s it going?”

“Any closer to getting it worked out?”

“Um.”

Mister Sasayabu’s words send Nadeko into a light─no, a heavy panic. Nadeko can feel her fingertips shaking.

It’s not like i’ve just sprinted or anything, but Nadeko’s knees are trembling, too.

The panic isn’t because i don’t understand what Mister Sasayabu is saying─in fact, it’s because i know what he’s talking about and it’s a topic that i want to avoid that i’m panicking so much.

“Hey hey, I’m counting on you,” he responds to Nadeko’s not-a-response of a reaction, clearly disappointed. “You realize that this needs to get taken care of fast, right?”

“…”

“You’re the only one I can count on─Class President Sengoku.”

With that, he raises a hand and leaves.

Well, like always, i guess.

While i stand around mumbling, the other person leaves.

Even Nadeko’s homeroom teacher.

You could call it Nadeko’s killer anti-personnel tactic.

In her whole life, the other person never failed to walk away, right, except for like once─

“You’re the class president?” the Serpent asks as soon as Mister Sasayabu is gone.

He doesn’t sound cynical, just plain surprised─and Nadeko is very proud that she surprised an aberration when their business is surprising people.

That’s a lie, i don’t think that.

i feel like i’ve been found out.

i wanted to keep it a secret because he might make fun of Nadeko…

“Yeah. Nadeko is the class president.”

“Liar. Class president? Like the class representative? The most respected student, who’s responsible for managing class affairs─is you? Hmmmm, Nadeko?”

Mister Serpent sounds completely unconvinced─he’s being incredibly rude from an objective point of view, but i kind of understand. “Not really… The class president isn’t respected…”

Of course, the Serpent draws his knowledge from Nadeko, so for him to be asking her questions or for her to be issuing denials is “fewtle”…but i guess knowing and feeling are different, and so is accepting or rejecting what you know.

Also, considering i wasn’t found out until now, Nadeko’s class presidency must be categorized under memories rather than knowledge.

“It would be one thing if i was chosen like a class president among class presidents like Miss Hanekawa…but Nadeko is different.”

“Different? How so?”

“i just got the short straw,” Nadeko says. It comes out sounding a bit “masachistic,” but i can’t help it here. “You noticed our class’s strange mood, Mister Serpent, didn’t you? That started during first term this year and kept going through summer break…so when we had to choose the second-term class president, there weren’t any volunteers or nominees…and after a dispute─”

No.

It’s more accurate to say that there was never any dispute.

There was just that oppressive air in the room.

“─Nadeko was chosen.”

“And how exactly does that end up happening?”

Even after Nadeko tried to explain, Mister Serpent doesn’t seem convinced─but i guess i can understand.

It’s just so hard to explain that heavy, gloomy air─it would exist between the lines in a novel, so how are you supposed to put it into words?

i’m bad at language arts, anyway.

i’m even worse at explanations.

“But…well, if i have to…then it’s because Nadeko was the only girl in class who didn’t go for those ‘charms’…i guess.”

“Huh. So process of elimination.”

I should have guessed as much, Mister Serpent mutters.

He seems to get it when he describes it as a process of elimination─though it absolutely makes Nadeko feel sad that this is how he’s finally convinced.

But Nadeko knows better than anyone else that she’s not the type to be class president and has felt it keenly over the last two months, so i can’t argue with him.

i almost want to get on his wavelength.

If we were holding glasses, i would have toasted to it.

“In short, a job no one wanted to do or make anyone do got pushed onto you─what a bunch of assholes, hmmmm?”

“Not really… It’s not like it was pushed onto Nadeko…”

i wouldn’t go so far, but it’s also true that i couldn’t turn the position over to someone.

You could say Nadeko got pushed over.

“Well, at least they didn’t foist an outrageous role on a timid girl who isn’t equipped for it, because that would be abuse─hsshh, hsshh, hsshh.”

“…If we’re going to talk about forcing a task on Nadeko, doesn’t the same go for you, Mister Serpent?”

“Oh? Well, maybe─guess I’m an asshole too.”

He openly admits it with a “gaffaw.”

Like he’s saying, you got me there.

Really, how shameless.

“Maybe it’s just the way of the world. Quiet girls like you end up with the short straw. Always.”

“…”

“That being said, what was your teacher talking about just now? What’s this thing he asked you to do?”

“It’s─”

Mister Serpent asks a reasonable question i knew he was going to ask, and Nadeko recites her prepared line, exactly as scripted.

“It’s…none of your business, is it?”

“It’s not? I thought you and I were partners, one in body and spirit.”

“D…Don’t think that…”

Nadeko’s tone is feeble.

“Repewdiating” someone is hard.

And Mister Serpent keeps piling it on.

“I mean, it might be my business─I’ve requested something of you. It would suck if someone butted in and got in my way.”

“If this is about who asked first, he did,” Nadeko points out reluctantly.

i want to be smart about keeping everything vague, but it’s difficult for a girl like Nadeko to convey something in a hazy way and shut down any follow-up questions─so her only option is to say it outright from the start.

“He told me to ‘Do something about the class’s mood.’ A while ago.”

“Hunh?”

Mister Serpent opens his mouth like he’s dumbstruck.

i almost hear a sound effect─guh.

“Hold on, seriously? If anything, isn’t that the homeroom teacher’s job, not the class president’s?”

“Yeah, well, you’re right about that…”

An aberration being completely in the right is unsettling.

But while i say aberration, Mister Serpent is a god. Of course he’s going to be in the right sometimes.

“i guess…he’s farming his job out.”

“Hsshh, hsshh─sounds even worse than me! Just from one glance it’s clear that no kid can fix that situation from the inside all on her own, hmmmm?”

“It’s fine, though,” Nadeko says.

i don’t know if Mister Serpent is sympathizing with Nadeko or just amused (i can’t read his expression), but either way, i want to get off this subject.

Because, for Nadeko─it’s already over.

It’s run its course.

It’s like arguing back and forth about what happens in a manga that’s reached its final chapter.

Nothing will come of it.

“What do you mean, it’s fine─it’s not fine.”

“Mister Sasayabu’s request isn’t going to ‘styemie’ your request…so it’s fine.”

“Hey, it’s not like I could care less about the rest of your life so long as my wish is granted─you know what? If you want, I’d be happy to hear you out.”

“Hear Nadeko out…”

A god hearing Nadeko out. It has a strange ring to it.

So something like confessing at a church? No, Nadeko isn’t seeking to be comforted. Mister Serpent is on the wrong track.

“It’s not like that… It’s fine because, actually, Nadeko’s not bothered by it…”

“Not bothered? After being burdened with this stuff? By your classmates and your homeroom teacher?”

“i’m not bothered. After all,” Nadeko says, “it’s not like Nadeko is doing anything.”

“You aren’t?”

“Not her job as class president, nor the task Mister Sasayabu assigned to her.”

i’m not doing anything, i repeat.

Then Nadeko begins to climb down the stairs.

The first bell is about to ring, like Mister Sasayabu said─he’s wrong about a lot of things, but he’s right about the time.

So i head to class.

“…………,” Mister Serpent goes quiet.

Has he read the mood?

He doesn’t say a word after that, not until school ends.