WE WATCHED BULLFIGHTING
The reserved seating in the coliseum had a great view of the stage in the center.
“Man, I’m so pumped! Bulls, fight till you’re bloody!”
Flatorte, enough with the violence.
But I had a feeling that long ago, people watched bullfighting with the same excitement back on Earth. I think it was really intense, and it wasn’t unusual for the bulls themselves to die. And I think the matadors killed bulls, too…
“Here is the match list, everyone. It has been translated into the human language.”
Fatla passed a piece of paper around to everyone.
“This is sumo!!”
The whole list went on and on. There were so, so many matches.
“Sumo? Oh, you mean that form of freestyle wrestling. Yes, bullfighting is indeed freestyle wrestling.”
Fatla understood the word sumo.
That aside, would this really be sumo? All the cow names sounded like professional sumo names and everything.
“’Tis exactly why I told you we should have come in partway through. All the opening matches are so dull. ’Twould be perfectly well enough if we came to watch the top twenty fights.”
In sumo terms, that would be about the number of matches for the makuuchi, or senior-grade wrestlers…
“I think we should at least watch from forty onward, boss.”
It seemed like Vania had a different opinion than Beelzebub.
But we’d be watching another twenty matches before the juryo, or junior-grade wrestlers, even entered the ring. We were seriously here to watch professional sumo.
“I will explain for all our nondemon guests. Grading is divided into six ranks, and from greatest to least, they are the gold class, silver class, copper class, bronze class, chrome class, and cloth class.”
What Fatla was explaining to us sounded a lot like the six ranks of sumo: makuuchi, juryo, makushita, sandanme, jonidan, and jonokuchi…
“Matches start with the cloth class. There are twenty when you add the silver and copper classes, then once you also add the gold classes, there are about forty.”
So gold class was literally makuuchi, silver class was literally juryo, and copper class was literally makushita.
“Bulls from the gold and silver classes wear the cloth of the warrior. They’ll pace fully around the circular stage once, giving them the chance to show off their figures to the audience.”
That was just how they entered the ring! That was only something people in the makuuchi and juryo ranks did—this really was turning out to be sumo!
Why was it so much like professional sumo, though? I was almost starting to wonder if this was a joke… And no one seemed to really notice it besides me, which felt weird…
“Lady Beelzebub,” said Fatla, “according to the association’s announcement, the event is now sold out. We are enhancing the Ministry of Agriculture’s prestige.”
“Indeed,” Beelzebub replied. “The numbers certainly fell when they began to suspect match fixing, but it seems we have made up for it wonderfully.”
I felt like I’d heard this conversation somewhere before, too!
“But there have been many more bulls getting injured when they start seriously clashing. I believe it was also a necessity.”
“That might be true, Fatla; if they found out that the result was previously determined, even if the fight was real, some will grow very angry.”
“Well, the most notable matches of the past were true fights, either way.”
“And the increase in injuries was not simply because they were all fighting seriously in every match. The bulls are much heavier compared with how they were in the past. That is why more are getting injured. The bulls of yore were more muscular, but when competitors found out that the heavier ones had an advantage, they all became heavyweights.”
It was starting to feel like Fatla and Beelzebub were in on the joke now.
“It seems there are more minotaur guests, too. I am glad to see them return.”
“’Tis because there were many minotaurs who said the bullfighting name was sullied back when doubts arose about match fixing, and they stopped coming to watch. This trend must have just started to die down.”
It was starting to feel like I was in the Ryogoku Sumo Hall…
“But, Lady Beelzebub, there are many bulls belonging to other demons besides minotaurs; perhaps it is the times. The most chivalrous spirit depends on the owner, after all.”
“There are alraunes entering bulls, too. Like this one, Cownokusa. I believe it won’t be long until the era when humans start entering cows arrives.”
That sort of felt like a discussion about the globalization of sumo.
“But bullfighting is a festival before it is a sport. All the sacred rituals can rather complicate the process.”
“Bullfighting has not quite taken roots among the demon world. Perhaps that is why.”
Sumo used to be a Shinto ritual, too…
“Yeah… No matter what any of you say, this is professional sumo… Sumo wrestling…”
“Azusa, this is not wrestling. ’Tis bullfighting. They have only surface similarities.”
But they were still way too similar!
“Oh, the cloth-class matches are starting!” Flatorte’s innocent gaze was fixed on the stage.
I wanted to enjoy this like Flatorte was… I wanted to be able to watch without making needless mental commentary… To be honest, I couldn’t concentrate!
Representatives from both the east and west brought out the bulls.
Then, when the bulls came to face each other, the representatives stepped back.
Fight!
“Moo~” “Moooo~” “Moooooooooooooooo~” “…Oom~”
The bulls stood inches apart and started licking each other’s faces.
This was super…serene…
The judge then stepped forward and declared both bulls the winner.
I didn’t mind, but I really wanted to know how they decided who won or lost. They were just licking each other.
“…That was pointless.” Flatorte immediately disapproved!
“’Tis what it is—this is the cloth class. It will be like this for a little while.”
It was very possible that we came into the coliseum at the wrong time.
The matches afterward were so easygoing; they could hardly even be called bullfighting.
They were really just putting two bulls in a ring together. None of the bulls seemed like they wanted to fight, either.
Sometimes, people who looked like senior-ranking judges would get together and deliberate over a judgment, but the standards of judging were a mystery to me.
“Hey, Beelzebub, when does the bullfighting end anyway?”
“We ended up coming in at around nine in the morning. Well, the gold class will be wrapping up at around six in the evening.”
“That is waaay too long!”
“Hence why there was no need for us to enter so early. ’Twould have been perfectly all right if we came in around two twenty to watch the silver-class matches.”
I guess the reason Beelzebub and the others weren’t so into it was because there were so many stupid matches like this at the beginning…
“There are also other events after the bullfighting, so watching it all would put us at nine in the evening.”
I guess this was way longer than professional sumo. That usually ended at six.
“Can we come and go as we please, then…?”
“Aye, so long as you keep your ticket on you, you are free to do so.”
Maybe I would go back to the meat festival and buy something later…
The bullfighting went on for so long, the three kids all fell asleep.
Of course they would. Anyone would pass out watching this. The first three matches were nice because the bulls were cute, but the parade of nothing but bulls was getting a little boring. Hopefully, no dragons would be entering the ring.
During the whole thing, I went out to the meat festival to buy some barbecue. I asked for half a portion.
And then it was a little after two in the afternoon.
“Oh, they will soon be presenting the silver-class bulls,” Beelzebub said.
All the bulls that had their name called came out in order, with every one led by a colorful cloth that was wrapped around each of them.
“Oh, it’s the juryo ceremonial entrance.”
“There you go with the strange words again. ’Tis the silver-class presentation.”
Maybe the same god had influenced Japan and this world… Or maybe a reincarnated somebody was the one doing the influencing. This was just way too similar.
But there was one thing different about the silver-class ceremonial entrance.
A huge image was projected onto the coliseum board!
“Hello and welcome, bullfighting fans! We are tentatively using brand-new magic technology to bring you announcements over a magic stream~ I, the demon king, Provato Pecora Ariés, will be your play-by-play commentator today~ ”
They were making good use of ancient wisdom!
“Our commentator today will be the fighter Miss Fighsly. Miss Fighsly, if you please~ ”
Fighsly was next to her!
“I am Fighsly. I’m looking forward to the matches today. Please contact me with any work requests.”
“Oh, this is a public magic stream, so please refrain from making advertisements~ ”
This was seriously like a TV broadcast now…
“Miss Fighsly, what would you say is the most enjoyable part of bullfighting?”
“Betting money really gets me going—even if it isn’t exactly legal.”
“This is a public stream, so please refrain from mentioning anything against the law~ ”
This was already turning into a full broadcast accident.
“Our next match will be between Daiseicow and Cowayate. What do you think will be the highlights of this matchup?”
“In terms of weight, Daiseicow is the heavier one here. So the question is, will Cowayate be able to wrap around quickly to the side and pressure him from there? Once a heavy bull gets knocked into the air, the effect of gravity is weakened, you see. Which would then make his weight disadvantageous.”
Hey, so she could do a proper analysis.
“Well then, it’s almost time! Daiseicow is pushing! He is pushing! Oh, but Cowayate knew what was coming! He is attacking back from the side! Push, push! Oh, and the winner is—Cowayate!”
Now that this whole thing had reached a higher level, it finally felt way more like sumo.
Oh, not sumo. Bullfighting… This was complicated…
“Well! That was exactly the sort of match we were expecting from Cowayate. Daiseicow had a good attack there at the beginning, but he was unable to follow through and ended up taking a break. And then Cowayate took the rest from there.”
“They both put up a wonderful fight. Everyone will shine if we all keep going, so we just need to do our best and aim for the top. ”
Her commentary sounded like lyrics to a pop song. But that aside—
“Pecora looks like she’s having fun.”
“Her Majesty generally likes attention, you know. She simply could not let an event like this happen without her.”
I suppose it was natural for the demon king to want to be the center of attention.
That was about when the sleeping girls finally awoke.
“It was so loud, Falfa woke up…”
“This event is supposed to be loud, though…”
“How noisy… How can I get a good nap like this?!” And Sandra was even getting angry at the whole thing.
Shalsha was still asleep.
I guess some people slept better with the perfect amount of white noise.
Also, Flatorte was starting to get wild—her tail was whipping back and forth everywhere.
“Yes! Push ’im, Cowdaijin! Use your horns, throw ’im up in the air and get in there! Then you can push ’im out all in one go!”
Even though it was a little different than the bullfighting we imagined at first, I was still glad to see her enjoying herself.
Laika and Halkara were also looking on eagerly. I guess that was because the definitely-not-juryo matches were more intense.
I never got to see sumo live, so it was perfect for me.
And I know this makes me sound like Halkara, but…I bet it would be more fun to watch with a drink. Maybe I’ll go grab one during break time…
“Taiyocow has moved around to the back without making any contact! And he attacks with his horns! That will make him the winner~! Oh dear, the stadium has gone quiet. Perhaps that was seen as unfair. What do you think, Miss Fighsly, our analyst?”
“I would prefer if he had taken this fight properly and head-on, but this is still a battle for victory. I believe the bulls must keep that in mind while they remember the rules. And bulls change a lot, you see, so they need to think of this when they come into contact. It might have been a little easy for the opponent here.”
I didn’t know if sumo commentary was actually like this, but this definitely felt like sumo commentary.
“Well, it’s already time for our next match. This is a roller coaster of offense and defense! Things are becoming so complicated! After some deliberation, the judge has announced victory for the west!”
“It seems that called for some discussion.”
“Indeed. The stablemasters—the minotaur judging committee—are gathering on stage.”
Stablemasters were what they were called in sumo, too…
After a set of exciting matches, the gold-class matches started.
“What would you say is the biggest difference between the gold and silver classes, Miss Fighsly?”
“The prize money for the gold classes is awarded by the company, so bull owners who can win against the popular bulls get very rich. At the most, I’d say about twenty awards will be given. It’s quite a lot. I am jealous.”
No need to get so precise about the money, Fighsly.
The house really was sold out—every seat was filled.
Then a wyvern came and unfurled some kind of banner over the stage.
ALL SEATS SOLD. THANK YOU!
They had those in sumo halls, too!
“Seems as though the ticket-holders who were spending time at the meat festival are finally coming in. This is where the real event starts.”
Beelzebub, of course, was taking in the scene.
Wait, she was talking so much about bullfighting with Fatla—wouldn’t she know a lot about this competition, too?
Bulls with huge horns were clashing in the ring.
“Yeeeaaah! This is what I came for! Go! Get ’em!” Flatorte was waving her hands and yelling.
“This is bullfighting!”
Somewhere along the way, the event had become the bullfighting I knew well. I felt a little strange, almost as though a spell had been cast over me. Even the kids were cheering and using the bulls’ names.
This was a thrilling match! Especially when the smaller bull beat the bigger one!
By the time I realized it, we’d finally reached the last match of the day.
“Cowow and Cowryu have made contact! Their horns are interlocked! They cannot move! They are at a total standstill! Are we looking at a stalemate~?!”
“Well, once they come to a stop, I would say Cowow is at an advantage here. Given time to think, the battle-hardened Cowow will turn this in his favor. If Cowryu can pull off a decisive maneuver—”
“Oh, with a twist of the neck, Cowow has flipped Cowryu! Cowow is the winner!”
The entire coliseum was filled with shouts, both happy and sad. The latter belonged to Cowryu’s fans.
“What a wonderful match. The owner of the winner will be getting a considerable sum of prize money. Wow, that’s tempting! Maybe I should buy a bull. But the expenses might not be worth it.”
This sports analyst was spending too much time analyzing money.
“We sure had a fantastic time with our bullfights today~ I was truly impressed! Our bullfighting tour schedule is already available, so please attend one of those if you are interested~ We will have events where you can meet and pet the fighting bulls~ ”
Pecora was honestly pretty good at commentating. Her status as the demon king must have gotten her used to talking.
Then out of nowhere came the boom bo-boom, boom bo-boom of taiko drums.
“Those are the great drums that signal the end of the bullfighting. It is an old tradition,” Fatla informed me.
Just like sumo, to the very end.
Now, the bullfighting festival should have ended there, but—
—not many people were getting up from their seats. There were probably more new people coming in to sit down.
“The second part will be beginning now,” Beelzebub said.
“Oh yeah, you did mention there would be another three hours…”
What was going to happen in these three hours? I was only thinking about the bullfighting, so I didn’t really look into the details.
“There is not much of a big difference, really. Honestly, you could call this Minotaur Day. It all has to do with the minotaurs.”
“The meat festival is over, so what’s happening now?”
After a little while, there came a bugle sounding a fanfare.
Then the bulls came out again.
Every one had numbered cloths on them.
“Now it is time for bullracing. I, the demon king, Provato Pecora Ariés, will continue to provide the play-by-play!”
“And I, Fighsly, will be your color commentator.”
They appeared on the screen again!
I guess bullracing is like horse racing…?
“Fighsly, which bull do you think will win?”
“Well gee, to be honest, I don’t know because I don’t really care. The gambling system is rigged to get the bookies most of the money.”
Then don’t be an analyst!
“But this job does earn me some money. So I’ll do what I can, considering I don’t know anything!”
If you don’t know anything, then you should turn down the job! That’s a job for a professional!
“Thunderbolt, number five at the gate, is the most popular one this time around~ ”
“What a cool-looking bull. The pattern on it reminds me of a bird taking flight.”
What a stupid analysis!
“The second most popular is number eight, Dune of the Vampire.”
“My guess is that the fourth most popular will take first place. No real reason—just a gut feeling.”
Seriously, fire this analyst.
“Miss Azusa, bullracing was started here at this very bullfighting festival through a partnership between the Ministry of Agriculture and the sports agency. We are allowing bets to take place. We believed people would grow tired of bullfighting alone, so we decided to incorporate elements of other sports.”
“Thanks for the explanation, Fatla… You should’ve been the analyst instead of Fighsly…”
“No. It is not good for a public servant to work as an analyst.”
I thought about how the very head of state was providing play-by-play commentary, but I decided not to let the little things bother me… The demon king usually did whatever she wanted, after all.
Some other members of the family were getting heated over this, and I noticed Halkara had several betting tickets in her hand.
“Yes, Nethervoid! Nethervoid! Or Oceanic Creator, it doesn’t matter!”
“She’s getting into betting!”
I’d sensed she was interested in gambling before, so I guess I was right…
“Madam Teacher, this is part of helping the bullfighting festival. Philanthropy, essentially!”
That sounded like the logic of someone who really liked horse racing.
“Well, it’s not like you’re going to be losing millions of gold in one day, so enjoy it. You’re earning money at your company anyway.”
“But, Azusa, this is not the last race. There are five races today,” Beelzebub said.
Oh, she’ll lose way more money than I thought.
“Halkara, I’m capping how much you can bet.”
“Whaaat?!”
Wait, how much money was she planning on betting anyway?
She should just own a bull. Her company was doing well, so she could pull it off.
And then a bull race that was suspiciously like a horse race began.
“Nethervoid! My hopes are on you! Make up ground on the outside! You can do it! You! Can! Do it! I believe in you!” Halkara’s excitement over this was getting excessive.
“Sheesh, you’re cheering like you’ve got a friend in the race.”
“Nethervoid, if even a little of my hopes and dreams for you can reach you, it’ll be enough! Please win!”
But all the rest of the family was watching the race seriously.
Even Sandra, who had been watching the whole event with vengeful delight, was yelling, “You can do better than that!” The bulls were running along the track, so I guess that was just as interesting.
Bullracing was a sport that the whole family could enjoy.
* * *
But starting from the fourth race, there was another change.
Out came minotaurs, numbers pinned to their clothes.
“What? The minotaurs themselves are going to run?”
“Minotaurs are quite fast. Many of them find successful careers in sports,” Beelzebub explained.
I had a feeling that this was going to be much more popular than the bulls. I could hear people screaming some of the racers’ names.
“Some are essentially idols—among other minotaurs, at least.”
“I wonder what makes a cow face more or less attractive…”
Now that the minotaurs were lined up, it felt more and more like a track meet.
The bright lights lit up the coliseum, so we could still see the races during nighttime.
“Crandahd! Number nine, Crandahd! Don’t lose!”
Even in the minotaur race, Halkara was betting like always…
“Miss Halkara is so enthusiastic about this… As officials from the Ministry of Agriculture, we are touched…”
Vania was impressed, but I wasn’t sure if she was having the right sentiment here…
But once the race started, I got super enthusiastic about it, too, so I wasn’t much different from Halkara.
The minotaurs were incredibly fast. It almost felt like the wind was even reaching the audience.
And all thanks to the ancient magic, we could see close-ups of the runners’ faces on the screen.
This was practically like modern day!
Well, since Halkara was already cheering for Crandahd, I would, too.
“Go! Get ahead! Crandahd! Push forward! Yes, he did it! We won!”
“We did it, Madam Teacher!”
In our excitement, Halkara and I hugged each other tightly. It’s so exciting when the person you cheer for wins!
After a little while…I thought we had been hugging a little too much.
“Hey, Halkara, sorry, but…you can let me go now…”
“No, now that we’re here, I thought maybe…you and I could go for an extended rendezvous…or something like that…” Halkara wasn’t letting go.
“What are you talking about, Halkara?!”
“See, I believe I said it before, but I am heteroflexible.”
“First I’ve heard it!” I quickly escaped Halkara’s clutches.
The last and fifth race was a relay race, which heated the entire coliseum with excitement.
By the way, I had to stop Halkara before she sank her entire savings into the fourth race. The minotaur she’d bet on ended up stalling partway through…
“Halkara, you know that stereotype about people who ruin themselves gambling? That’s you.”
“Life itself is a gamble, isn’t it, Madam Teacher?”
Don’t say it like a proverb!
The cheers hadn’t even finished echoing through the coliseum as the demons started heading home.
“Phew. I would say ’twas quite successful, so that is a relief.” Beelzebub looked like her work was over. She wasn’t here for fun—that meant it was genuine ministry work.
And as someone who’d watched the entire thing, I knew that well.
“Beelzebub, Fatla, Vania, well done, all of you.”
I had to praise all of them. I knew very well what hard work felt like.
“Mmm. ’Tis no big deal when it comes to us.”
I was kind of hoping they’d be happier about it, but it was true that it was a small thing compared with all the work Beelzebub had done previously.
“Well done, Miss Beelzebub!”
“Oh, Falfa, thank you! Now I’m not tired at all!”
“Hey… You treat me way differently than Falfa…”
“Why must I treat you and the girls the same?”
True, but it did irritate me a little.
“Shalsha has never had much interest in sports, but I learned a lot today. Attaining knowledge on subjects one does not know is the fundamental joy of learning. Thank you for offering us this opportunity, Miss Beelzebub.” As I thought, Shalsha’s thank-you was stiff.
But it was her own way of expressing her gratitude.
“Of course, I am going to do all I can for my girls~”
“You know they’re not yours, right…? I don’t mind overlooking it a few times, but you sure use my a lot.”
“Hmph, they might one day truly be my girls. Heh-heh-heh…” Beelzebub smiled dauntlessly.
“She’s a demon… This demon is showing her true colors…”
If I wasn’t careful, we might cross a point of no return.
But in the opposite sense, this meant we all enjoyed the bullfighting festival, and my daughters even loved it.
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