I USED HAIR GROWTH MAGIC
“By the way, do you plan on keeping your hair short from now on?” Beelzebub asked once we were done being Pecora’s dress-up dolls.
“No, not really, but it takes a while for hair to grow back. It’ll be a long struggle.”
Momma Yufufu sure had chopped a bunch off. Even though I had insanely high stats, my hair wasn’t exactly going to grow back insanely fast. If it did, then I would have to cut my hair all the time, and it would just be a pain.
“I see. In that case, I have the perfect spell for you,” Beelzebub said breezily. “Muum Muum had once arrogantly claimed her ancient civilization had a magnificent spell for growing hair.”
“That ancient civilization sure is amazing! They have everything!”
I knew the development of their civilization was a bit on the strange side, but I had no idea they had studied hair growth.
“If you would like your hair to grow back, I suggest going to the Thursa Thursa Kingdom to see her. You would be treated well there, of course.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Once I’ve had my fun with this haircut, I’ll head out to Muu’s.”
“But ’tis not a bad haircut you have there.” Beelzebub stared hard at my face—or my hair, rather. It was kind of embarrassing.
“Aye, ’tis good. Fresh. Almost endearing.”
“Whoa, what are you talking about? You’re exaggerating… Flattery will get you nowhere.”
“You almost resemble Falfa and Shalsha. Excellent, indeed.”
“…Oh, that’s what you mean.”
It seemed like Beelzebub judged everything based off how similar it was to Falfa and Shalsha.
“Your cuteness is absolutely no match for either of them, however.”
“You don’t have to go over every detail. And don’t look so smug when you talk about how cute my daughters are.”
It was a little weird to act like their mom in front of me when I’m their mom.
And so once I had my fill of having short hair, I headed for the ancient kingdom of ghosts.
“I see. So you would like to grow your hair out again,” Laika said, flying in her dragon form.
Right now, I was riding on her back on our way to the Thursa Thursa Kingdom.
Rosalie was with me, too. I wanted to make sure she got to see Muu.
“Long hair is certainly more fitting to your image. The people of Flatta seemed to have been somewhat bewildered as of late.”
“Oh really…? I didn’t hear anything like that.”
I guess it was hard to share your negative opinions with the subject of those opinions.
“They have said things like ‘The Great Witch looks nice like this’ and ‘It feels like the Great Witch has descended among the mortals from afar…like we could be friends…or even more than that…’ and whatnot.”
“Yeah, that scares me, so I’m growing it out!”
But I guess it was normal for people to react if you drastically changed your image.
“Aren’t you gonna grow your hair out, Big Sis Laika?” Rosalie asked, the lower half of her body buried in the dragon. I guess that stabilized her.
“Yeah, if you grew your hair out, Laika, you’d seem even more ladylike!”
“No, I am more comfortable with this length… And long hair will get in the way when I fight. I would not be surprised if I was considered an idler for growing my hair out as a mere trainee.”
She sure was an earnest girl. I doubted anyone would call her an idler, though.
“Either way, I will stay as I am. I am more tempted to ask if you are going to keep your hair as is, Miss Rosalie.”
“Ha-ha-ha! That’s a funny thing to ask! I’m a ghost; I can’t grow my hair! The only spiritual beings who can grow their hair out are cursed dolls!”
I wondered if that was indeed something to laugh about, but it was funny enough for Rosalie.
“Evil ghosts are spirits who stay behind in the mortal world, attached to the past. They can’t just go and keep changing their hair and clothes; that’s against the rules. People’d be like, So are you attached or aren’t you?!”
“Oh, I see.”
When Rosalie spelled it out for me like that, it made sense to me.
Ghosts were supposed to be frozen in time in their own way. Rosalie herself had been cooped up in the same building for a long while, too.
I figured it would get boring before long, but I’ve lived the same life with no change for three hundred years, so I’m not much to talk.
“But Big Sis’s magic does let me change my clothes sometimes, and I think that’s more than enough for me. I’ll reincarnate if things get any more luxurious. Ha-ha-ha!”
I guess that was supposed to be funny, too… The ghost life sure was hard.
Finally, Laika’s speed and altitude began to drop as we approached the Thursa Thursa Kingdom.
We came to the heart of the kingdom, which had an impressive array of pyramid-like structures. If UNESCO existed in this world, it would absolutely be a World Heritage site.
When she sensed us, head-maid-slash-minister Nahna Nahna came to us.
“Long time no see, everyone. What brings you here today? Her Majesty is currently developing the dungeon, so I believe it will be a while before she arrives—and what happened to your hair?”
Nahna Nahna wasn’t the type to wear her emotions on her face, but she sure seemed curious about my hair.
I wondered if she was going to ask about a breakup, too. Everyone wants to talk about romance the moment someone gets a haircut.
“Aha, I suppose you made a cursed doll that used real hair.”
“No!”
“You could make five with how much you cut off. In that case, I can introduce you to a cursed-doll-making master, a national treasure in the human lands.”
“No, thank you. I have no intentions of doing anything like that.”
But it was true we were here about the hair.
“I got it cut too short. I came here because I heard you had a spell that could grow it out again.”
“Ah… It seems Her Majesty has gotten carried away and spoken too much again, I see…”
Uh-oh. Nahna Nahna’s expression seemed somewhat troubled.
“Did something bad happen?”
“That spell is classified as an A-plus trade secret. More specifically, the existence of the magic itself is not to be spoken of, much less what it can do.”
“It’s that strictly hidden…?”
“That is because once word gets out about it, many people will want to use it. Yet it is very cumbersome to use. It could easily destroy ten, twenty small elf-villages.”
Yikes!
“However, there is nothing I can do now that you know about it. I shall tell Her Majesty off once she arrives. She honestly needs a better sense of restraint.”
I sensed no respect at all for own queen, but Muu didn’t seem to like stiff relationships, so maybe this worked for them.
“Her Majesty should be here soon. Let us wait here at these outdoor tables for a while. I shall provide desserts made with local fruits.”
Sure, might as well enjoy the wait.
Three hours later…
“Is she still not here yet, Miss Nahna Nahna…?”
She was taking way more time to show up than I thought.
“I apologize. She insisted she would arrive at the surface on her own and would not take no for an answer. She is rather weak, so it seems she is taking an extremely long time,” Nahna Nahna said casually.
Right—Muu had a physical body, so she couldn’t immediately appear here…
“That is all right. Let us relax while we wait, Lady Azusa. Oh, may I have another serving of sweets, please?” Laika had good manners, but she was asking for seconds over and over again.
As we sat and chilled out, Muu finally appeared.
“Huff, huff… I finally got ’ere…all on me own… I made it…”
She was acting like an athlete reaching the finish line!
“Goal…!” When Muu got to our table, she flopped over on her back.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty. You made it under three hours. Two hours, fifty-nine minutes, three seconds.”
“Get in! I finally beat free hours!”
Was this a marathon?!
“But I still got a ways to go… I needa fink ’bout me form an’ not push meself… I gotta beat two hours, forty-five minute next…”
I didn’t think there was much to do for her form if she didn’t seriously consider building up some strength first. I bet one of us wouldn’t even take fifteen minutes to walk that distance.
“My apologies, Your Majesty, but our objective today is not to improve your physical strength. Please hear what request those of the house in the highlands have.”
“Oh, hey… I can do anyfin’ you want. Wa’evah, dunna, innit.”
Not sure why the catchphrase came in there, but sure, I guess.
“Hey, so you’ve probably noticed, but I cut my hair too short. You have magic that can grow it back, right? I want to use that to get it back to normal again.”
“’Air Growf magic…? Oh, no. I told Pecora durin’ our game o’ Kings…”
Kings with two sovereigns? Seriously?
“Please refrain from sharing A-plus secrets, Your Majesty.”
“Before I told ’er, I says, ‘You better not tell anyone.’ But sorry anyway.”
That would guarantee she tells everyone.
“’Air Growf magic, ’ey? I mean, we do ’ave that.”
Hmm, did that mean it wasn’t what I thought it was?
“This country’s just filled wiv dead people, yeah? So it’s set to work for dead people. We’re gonna need to fiddle wiv it to make it work for the livin’.”
A skill just for dead people felt kind of surreal.
That’s when I got an idea. “Then could you get our ghostly Rosalie to grow her hair out?”
“Easy peasy! Give ’er a few tweaks, an’ Bob’s your uncle.”
If Muu said so, then I’d trust her.
“Well, you heard her, Rosalie. Why not grow out your hair? This opportunity doesn’t come up all that often.”
“Not a bad idea, ’ey. We could make plenty o’ tweaks on a dead person to get it workin’ for livin’ people. Let’s do that, yeah? We should do that.”
Well, that was easy!
“Wait, wait, what? Me?” Rosalie pointed to herself and blinked, but she didn’t seem that upset about it. Everyone wants to look stylish, don’t they?
“Lovely jubbly, then let’s ’ead off to the ruin wiv a magic circle in it!” Muu said. Still lying on the ground.
“Your Majesty, are you able to get up on your own?”
“Obviously! Hrrrgh! Oof… I pull’d a muscle… I pull’d a muscle in me left leg…an’ in me right knee…”
I suspected this would take forever if she walked on her own, so I just picked her up and carried her.
The ruin with the magic circle was a somewhat quiet place.
There wasn’t much on the first floor besides the entrance, but there was a staircase that went underground, which had a wide-open space at the bottom.
“We ’ide A-plus spells like this so they don’t get out. We can’t ’ave people knowin’ ’bout spells like this, now can we?”
“Except we know. Is that okay?”
“Well, can’t take away what you’ve already found out… Hey, Rosalie, luv, get to the center of the circle.”
There was a unique-looking magic circle drawn in the center of the room. It looked nothing like the magic of modern humans or demon magic.
“Uh, okay… Going in…” Rosalie fearfully floated into the middle of the circle.
“All right, guess we just leave ’is to the ’air-Growf-magic technicians now.”
“Yes, I have already arranged for them,” Nahna Nahna said.
Some ghosts came in and formed a ring around the table in front of the magic circle. On the table was an array of stone tablets. I guess that’s how they activated the spell.
But there was one thing I wanted to point out—
—all the ghost technicians were bald guys…
“I am Dan Dan, chief technician for A-plus magics. This ghost will have more hair than she knows what to do with,” one of the technicians said.
His head was so smooth, I almost didn’t believe him!
“Just to let you know, we are not that interested in hair. That is why we have been able to objectively carry out our research on this magic.”
I mean, I guess, but at the same time, it didn’t add up. I didn’t know what to make of it…
“Dan Dan, don’t bova wiv all ’at, yeah? Just grow out Rosalie’s hair.”
Muu was generally impatient—despite selfishly making us wait three hours.
“Yes, understood. Let’s go!”
The bald guys (ghosts, actually, but I’m just going to call them guys) started poking at the stone tablets. From afar, it simply looked like they were operating computers.
They looked intense—this had to be really high-level magic.
“Locks lifted!”
“Systems activated!”
“Magic-circle operations normal!”
The staff was yelling.
Then the magic circle finally started glowing.
“Okay, Hair Growth magic activate!” Dan Dan yelled.
Then Rosalie’s hair slowly started lengthening.
“H-hey…it’s almost at my neck!”
She was clearly feeling the difference. This was a first for her, so the look on her face was a mix of excitement and anxiety.
Her hair grew more and more, until it definitely fell in the long category.
Yes! This was a huge success!
—But that was when the problems started.
Rosalie’s hair wouldn’t stop growing!
“Gah! I can’t see through my bangs!”
“Ahhh! Now you really look like a ghost!”
Some ghosts have their faces totally hidden by their bangs, don’t they…?
And it wasn’t just her bangs. All the rest of her hair kept growing, and she was soon buried in it!
“This seems like a failure,” Nahna Nahna remarked quietly. Her reaction was surprisingly neutral, given the circumstances, but we needed calm people at a time like this.
“You absolute plonkers! Do somefin’! Can’t you restore this now?!”
“I’m sorry! We made a mistake in the settings!” Dan Dan apologized. “I shave my hair, so I am not entirely sure how strong it should be…”
Then this was a total failure starting right from the technicians they chose! They definitely needed people with hair to be technicians!
To get to the point, Rosalie now looked completely like a ghost with that trademark long hair.
“Ghost hair doesn’t feel heavy at all, but this would weigh a ton if I were alive… Long hair always gets in the way…”
“Why not make the best of it and scare some humans around the world?” Nahna Nahna was really acting like this had nothing to do with her…
“Put it back, you lot. She looks like an evil ghost. She’d be terrifyin’ if she walk’d round town like ’at!”
She looked just like a scary ghost. She’d make us jump out of our skin at the house in the highlands if she lived like that.
But among us was someone who really liked pranks.
Nahna Nahna pulled Rosalie’s hand.
“It is times like this that we should get the absolute most entertainment out of what’s happened. Let us proceed outside.”
She was going to go show her off!
“Hey! Those kinds of pranks aren’t really—”
But Nahna Nahna slipped through the building and floated upward toward the surface.
“Gah! She has those tricks up her sleeves because she’s a ghost!”
“I wonder what the people are gonna fink ’bout this one… She’s right rotten, she is. Like a poltergeist.”
I bet Muu had been waiting to make that joke, but I was going to ignore it.
“Hey, Muu, you’re the queen here. Don’t let your ministers run around and do what they want.”
“Yeah, Nahna Nahna’s only a minister, but she secretly finks she’s better’n me, so nofin’ I say’ll get to ’er.”
“And you’re okay with that? Aren’t you the queen?”
“I fink it’s better if the ruler’s someone relatable. I wanna be the kin’a queen who’ll see a limited-time, ’alf-price sale at the market an’ panic.”
“That’s too much.”
She also just went for cheap stuff in general, far as I could tell.
“I wanna be the kind who says, ’Ey, how much you fink I got this for? Three ’undred fifty gitan? Nah, bruv, it was a ’undred fifty gitan, y’know wha’ I mean?”
She was just a penny-pincher who wanted to brag about her cheap deals.
“Lady Azusa, we cannot neglect Miss Rosalie, so let us go up to the surface,” Laika suggested. She was the most decent of all of us.
“You’re right. I don’t think this will lead to a big incident, but we shouldn’t ignore it.”
We went up the long, long staircase back to the surface.
We could immediately hear screams coming from every which way.
“Gaaah! An evil spirit!”
“Help me!”
“Don’t look at it, or you’ll die!”
“I thought I was a ghost, but that’s the real thing!”
It was a considerable commotion.
“I heard a loud scream from over there! Let us go!”
Laika and I headed toward the voice, and there, we found Rosalie wandering around, her obnoxiously long hair covering her face.
“Oof, I can’t see!”
Nahna Nahna was pushing Rosalie along. “Now let us make our way toward those graves over there. There are plenty of citizens we have not yet spooked.”
“Oh, come on,” Rosalie complained. “People are way too scared of someone whose hair is just a little too long…”
And from my point of view, Rosalie was appropriately horrendous.
I never knew hair alone could change someone’s aura so drastically…
Plenty of ghosts afterward saw Rosalie and screamed.
“I feel like they’re bigger scaredy-cats than I am.”
“Perhaps evil spirits do not usually meet other evil spirits, so their tolerance to one another is quite low.”
I see. I guess they rarely saw other ghosts (who weren’t themselves or their friends).
Wait, hold on.
That meant ghosts were also afraid of ghosts. They were the same as me. I’d always been afraid of unseen visitors myself, so that gave me a small feeling of familiarity.
—Ten minutes later.
“The joke has run its course, I believe.”
Nahna Nahna stopped pushing Rosalie, and the whole commotion came to an end.
Afterward, we safely managed to shorten Rosalie’s hair from scary-ghost length to just normal long hair.
They could also shorten hair, so the technique was a little more flexible than just “hair growth.”
“Yes! Long hair is cute, too!” I said.
“I believe it would look lovely on you!” Laika agreed.
But Rosalie herself didn’t seem like a fan.
“I dunno, I’m not really feeling it. I like how it was originally. Long hair just gets in the way. And I don’t want more incidents like what just happened…”
This sounded like a question of habit; someone who always kept their hair short wouldn’t find long hair very fitting.
Rosalie returned her hair to its original state. I wish I could’ve shown the rest of the family, but we wouldn’t be able to cut Rosalie’s hair back at the house in the highlands. Oh well.
Now, I was supposed to be next in line, but—
“Hey, since we’re here, why not grow your hair out a bit, Laika?”
“What are you talking about, Lady Azusa?!”
Laika was awfully surprised. It didn’t seem like she ever thought she would come up as an option. Her guard was down, no excuses.
“Well, I wanna see what you look like with long hair, too, Laika. It’s fiiine. Seems like we can put your hair back the way it was anyway.”
I decided to play the status card and be a little selfish just this once.
“Mmm… Well, if you say so, Lady Azusa…” Laika gave in and stepped into the magic circle.
The technicians were much more serious than they had been previously.
Muu had her arms folded as she watched on, so she was probably nervous, too.
“We’ll make no more mistakes, you hear me?”
“We will succeed, even with a living specimen!”
“Our pride rests on this!”
“Voluminous without the weight!”
I just wanted to know why everyone saying this was all bald.
“Listen to me, you fail this, an’ I’ll make ya grow ’air an’ wear the worst styles! Old stuff, an’ not vintage!”
Her threats were hair-related, too.
But still, Rosalie was—and if you’ll excuse my word choice—the test subject here already, so I didn’t think there could be any more big failures.
On the other hand, Laika was growing tenser and tenser standing in the magic circle. Anyone would be frightened there.
“Everything is in order!”
“Same here!”
“Give the order anytime!”
“Begin!”
The magic circle lit up again.
How was it going to turn out this time? Please succeed!
It wasn’t as dramatic as Rosalie’s turn, but Laika’s hair was slowly starting to grow out.
And then it stopped right at the short end of what I’d call long. It was an exquisite length.
The texture of her hair was also smooth, so it didn’t feel like it was just a longer version of her normal hair.
She was such a proper young lady!
“Um, what do you think, Lady Azusa…?” Laika asked, playing with her new hair.
I instinctively covered my mouth. “Oh, Laika… You’re so pretty… So pretty, it pains me.”
What the heck was this? She couldn’t be a dragon, could she? She was definitely an angel. This wasn’t just elite-class-tier nonsense. This was heavenly. What incredible power she held!
“I am in awe—I can’t believe such a cute girl is my apprentice! I almost want to ask you to be my apprentice!”
“Lady Azusa, please do not praise me so… It makes me uncomfortable…”
But it was so cute how she got so flustered like that, so I couldn’t not do it.
No matter what expression she made right now, it would just destroy me. Like the goddess of destruction.
“My, my. She has more majesty to her than Her Majesty.”
“You right, she’s way more— Oy, that’s rude, Nahna Nahna!”
This master-and-servant duo was starting to get their banter down. It was also possible that Nahna Nahna had been appointed minister because she could keep up with the retorts. Muu didn’t trust people who didn’t tease her.
That said, it seemed as though the ghosts were appreciating the scale of Laika’s cuteness, too.
The technicians, with their bald, shiny heads, sang her praises:
“She’s so cute!”
“I’m ascending!”
Please don’t ascend to heaven! It’ll be like we killed you!
Rosalie was looking away for some reason.
“She’s too bright. It’s like she’s gleaming! A ghost like me can’t look at her directly!”
She was less of a dragon, and more like a goddess now.
“E-everyone, please stop! Y-you’re teasing me too much…”
Laika was, of course, bright red. That was the obvious reaction.
But no one here was teasing her.
“You’re really incredible, Laika. You might be the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“Lady Azusa, please stop!”
Afterward, we returned Laika’s hair to normal.
I was sad to see it go, but I felt like if she stayed in the house in the highlands with that haircut, her cuteness would just create more trouble, so I guess we had to… And we didn’t want her to end up with stalkers.
And I got my hair safely returned to its original length.
“Yeah, I think this hairstyle is perfect for me. And it matches my hat.”
Makeovers were fun, but a standard style was also important.
“I like you best this way, Lady Azusa.” Laika accepted my normal everyday self with a gentle smile.
“Yeah, I agree.”
Now that I had others who loved me, I had a feeling that I liked myself way more now than when I was alone.
“I wish you hadn’t gotten rid of your long hair so quick.”
“Please, please do not say that!”
Laika had been like a goddess, and so I was going to keep a clear memory of the image in my head.
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