I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level Max Level Witch - Volume 7 - Chapter 9

  THE GHOST QUEEN CAME TO CHILL  

“Huh. So this is the ’ouse in the ’ighlands.”

In commemoration of Muu’s newfound friendship with Rosalie, the ghostly queen came over to the house in the highlands. Although, she technically didn’t “come over” herself; Muu didn’t have any way of getting around with her physical body, so Laika went to pick her up.

I had a feeling that being cooped up in that tomb for so long must have been bad for her health (what makes a ghost healthy anyway?), so I thought it was a perfect arrangement.

“Yeah, they let me live here,” Rosalie explained.

“Your defenses are atrocious. You’d get adventurers streaming in.”

“No, it’s not a dungeon, so it works just fine…”

They weren’t quite on the same page, but Muu would acclimate soon, I was sure.

The whole family gathered in the dining room, and Rosalie introduced Muu. I had decided it was her job; I couldn’t be assuming everyone’s responsibilities all the time.

“This here is Muum Muum. She’s the queen of an ancient civilization, and a ghost. Please just call her Muu, though.”

“I’m Muu. Wow, civilization really ’as changed while I’ve bin dead. Nice to meet ya.”

Muu raised her right hand in greeting. The family returned the greeting in kind.

The one who was most interested among the rest was Shalsha.

“There are a million things that Shalsha wants to know about the Thursa Thursa Kingdom. Tell me your story. There is scarcely any information remaining about your ancient culture. This is a massive discovery for history buffs everywhere!”

Shalsha hungrily cornered Muu! But Shalsha was intellectual-curiosity incarnate—of course she would have a lot she wanted to ask…

“I can teach you personally, but don’t go givin’ university lectures… And it’s not like I totally understand everyfin’, either. I’ll just add wa’evah, dunna, innit as my disclaimer.”

That wa’evah, dunna, innit sure was useful.

“I promise… I wanna promise, but I might end up letting something slip, so I am nervous…”

“No, you hafta promise!”

“I will make the utmost effort, of course. I will try. Whatever, I don’t know, do I?”

“You can’t use it that way!”

And we’ve already descended into an argument… As the mom here, should I step in?

But it was Rosalie who arbitrated.

“Unless she writes an essay, you’ll know how the information spreads. Plus, those woods are too scary and dangerous for humans. You don’t need to be so worried. There’s already rumors that there’s something in the forest.”

“Y-yeah… If you say so, Rosalie, then I’ll teach ’er…”

Hey, she did it! She convinced her! Yes, I hope their friendship continues to blossom. I could see Rosalie already changing for the better, too.

“Hey, Miss Muu, let’s play!”

This time, it was Falfa who approached her. My daughter wasn’t shy at all.

“Sure, but I’m not gonna go playin’ tag or huntin’ grasshoppers. ’as to be a more refined game. I’m a queen, I’ll ’ave you know.” As the older child between them, Muu warned Falfa right off the bat. “Like watchin’ a swordsman fight a lion.”

“Hey! She’s still a child; don’t teach her that!”

That game was far too dangerous for a queen!

“Then what about makin’ a criminal walk a narrow bridge between two tall towers? If he falls, splat!”

“You can’t call that refined! Quit it with the gory stuff!”

That was much crueler than anything the demons did. Was this going to be okay…?

“Oh yeah, you don’t ’ave any ’igh-performance stone tablets round ’ere, do you? You’d need fousands and fousands of workers to make a dungeon or a lake out of alcohol for a party in real time…”

Her scale of play was massive.

“Then Falfa will ask you math questions, so answer them!”

Falfa, that isn’t much of a game at all, either! That’s more like studying, which is the exact opposite of playing!

“I can solve these easy. I did ’ave a scholar tutoring me. You do this ’ere, an’ then this…then that an’ that, an’ it’s done!”

Muu easily solved the advanced problem that Falfa gave to her. She had clearly received a thorough education.

“Wow, amazing! Next one!”

“Come on, then! I can take it.”

There was nothing regal about her—probably because her words were being translated into a cockney accent.

Falfa and Muu had really hit it off, and now they were going at each other with math questions.

It brought a smile to my face—but then I noticed Rosalie behind them, bored.

Uh-oh. Rosalie should be entertaining Muu as her special ghost friend… Maybe Falfa suddenly jumping in wasn’t such a great thing…

“Hey, Muu? Since you came all this way, why don’t you and Rosalie head out to Flatta, the village?”

“A village, ey? We gonna burn it down?”

Are you part of a warrior clan or something?

“I’m kind of scared you’ll cause trouble, so I’ll come along… Please do not burn it down.”

“I’m jokin’, I’m jokin’. We quit burnin’ villages, takin’ slaves an’ workin’ ’em to the bone, an’ cuttin’ off heads in rituals a fousand years after our civilization was born. We’ve bin real strict ’bout human rights ever since~”

“So you do have a concept of human rights…”

That ancient civilization sure was advanced.

We also asked more about the ancient civilization on our way to Flatta.

“We had four-day workweeks, an’ workin’ days were six hours long. Our education an’ ’ealth care were all free.”

“Would’ve been nice to be born there,” I commented.

“Agreed, Big Sis.”

I wouldn’t have died from overwork in that society.

“Glad to ’ear it. We even had research groups goin’ out’ to ahvah regions an’ searchin’ feh medicine that could make people immortal an’ forever young.”

“Wow. I’m not sure I can follow all of it, but I can tell that you had some lofty aspirations back in the day.”

But Muu then dropped her shoulders.

“Then that research group came back with an awful plague…an’ everyone in the kingdom died…”

So that was why the ancient civilization fell!

“But it all worked out. Everyone who resented their death stuck around as ghosts, so we got our immortal kingdom!”

Was it fine…? I guess it was… They all died so long ago, I guess they weren’t going to worry about how it was caused. But after a few minutes of walking, Muu started looking rather sickly. Not that she didn’t already, but now it was worse.

“Oh… Aghhh… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh…”

“Hey, Muu, what’s wrong?! You sound like a choking dog!!” Rosalie cried, taking notice right away. She couldn’t touch Muu, though, so I put my hand on her back.

“Hey, what happened? Something’s going on, isn’t it…?”

“I—I… I…”

I wondered what went wrong; she was struggling just to finish her sentence.

“I…I’m tired…exhausted…”

I was expecting something bigger than that!

“Is that it…?”

“Look, I was in that tomb for yonks. I wasn’t movin’ around at all, so just a few minutes of walkin’ is ’bout all I can take…”

How weak was her constitution?

“I can’t… I’m gonna die… But my ghost is just inside my body, so I can’t die… But I feel like I will… I’m in agony…”

It was almost like she was exorcising herself.

This isn’t good. I think our only option is for me to carry her on my back.

I didn’t want to hear her gasping for her last breaths over and over…

“Sigh… I thought I might be able to hang out with another ghost friend… I guess we’ll have to call it quits… Muu might be a ghost, but she has a body, so we’re not really the same.” Rosalie sighed, deeply disappointed.

“Sorry, Muu. Let Big Sis carry you.”

“N-no… I’ll go… I’ll go…” Muu forced herself to stand at attention, and I could see she was really pushing herself. “This is nofin’! I’ll get to Flatta, watch me!”

Yeah… She couldn’t withdraw after seeing Rosalie so sad. But Muu herself also seemed to be in so much pain that I couldn’t not extend a helping hand.

“Hey, if it’s too much for you, then let me know, okay? I’ll carry you, okay?”

“…Ha, ha-ha-ha… What a funny fin’ to say… I—I have plenty of energy… Ghosts are limitless! Come on, then!”

She was definitely forcing herself to keep going… I didn’t think ghosts could die from overwork, so I would just keep an eye on her… In a way, she had existed in this world far longer than we had, so she was our elder. She could probably take care of herself…

Muu took a step.

“Ngaaah!”

She took another step.

“Hrngaaah! Yeah! I’ll shove a torture device in yeh mouth an’ make yeh molars rattle!”

She really is crude.

After that, she could only proceed one step at a time. At this rate, it would take us three days to reach Flatta…

“Fwaaaah! Aaahh! Huff…puff…”

We had gone three steps.

It was only a few steps, but—yeah, no, it was literally just three steps.

We couldn’t keep going at this pace… Her legs were already trembling…

“Oy, black hat, I bet you’re finkin’ I can’t do this, huh…?”

“Can you actually call me Azusa, please?” My elder should be a little more polite.

“Rosalie, you called me your mate! I’d give a life or two for a friend!”

That might have sounded inspiring, but she was going way overboard. Don’t just throw your life away.

But she was doing everything in her power for her friend.

“We could have fun chillin’ togefer—wakin’ up early to jog round temples, jumpin’ into rivers from bridges, huntin’ rabbits with knives, all that good stuff!”

What she was listing wasn’t exactly “chill,” but maybe that was because of all the stuff she went through as queen.

“Muu, you think so highly of me… I’m so happy… I’m the happiest person in the world!” Rosalie was moved to tears—and I didn’t even know ghosts had tears. They weren’t corporeal, so she wasn’t getting anything wet. “I can die without any regrets now that I have a true friend like you!”

You two sure do enjoy talking about dying for people who are already dead.

“I understand. Get it all out of your system. Enjoy your ghostly time together.”

“Thank you, Big Sis!” Rosalie wasn’t my little sister, but it felt like I was looking out for a younger sibling.

“Now let’s get goin’! Downhill to town. We could probably get there in anuvva fifteen minutes of walkin’… Hruff! Ngah!”

And so Muu took her fourth step. She was slow!

Meanwhile, Rosalie and I were just standing and watching.

Then a slime popped out of the grass. No big deal; they were like sparrows and crows in urban Japan.

Boiiiing.

The slime tackled Muu.

No one ever had been defeated by a slime, so I didn’t think it would be a problem—

But when Muu took the hit, she lost her balance and stumbled backward.

“Whoa, whoa… Oh, I went back five steps… Better start again…”

Nooooo! Five steps is huge! It was like she hit a go back five spaces in a board game!

“Oy, you, slime! D’you know ’ow much blood, sweat, an’ tears I put in those five steps?! What color’s ya blood, huh?! Dammit! What the hell did you do to me?!”

I’d never seen someone so furious at a single slime…

I went ahead and killed it. I didn’t think Muu could handle one at this point.

“Uh… That was a disaster…”

“I knew it would be tough goin’ on my own two feet. But I’m not givin’ up! Graaaagh! Pant, pant… I can keep goin’… My vision’s blurrin’ a little, an’ I’m dizzy, but…”

No way this could work.

In the end, Muu fell to her knees after a couple of steps, then rolled onto her back, her arms and legs splayed out over the grass.

“You did great, Muu! I’m so happy for ya! Your burning passion reached my heart!” Rosalie was getting really excited about this, despite the lack of any real drama. I’m glad someone was.

“I’ll carry you on my back the rest of the way. Just get used to moving around a little at a time.”

“No, I am a queen. A queen can’t let ’erself give up now. I’ll keep movin’ forward with my own strength!”

She sure was stubborn… I almost wanted to applaud her for her spirit alone.

“I’m tellin’ ya—I’m gettin’ there meself,” Muu declared, rolling onto her stomach—and then onto her back again. “I’m gonna roll all the way to the village!”

Whoa, whoa, whoa—is she serious? But she was rolling faster and faster.

That was because this path went downhill. The house in the highlands was on a plateau, while the village was at the base. If I put a ball down here, it would roll all the way there.

“Whooooaaaaa! Everyfin’s spinning, spinning, spinning!”

“Hey, are you okay?! There’s only so much your body can take!”

“Wow! You may be a queen, Muu, but you have no pride at all! You’re a true ruler!”

“Gah! That was a hard rock! Knock me back on course! I can’t die! My body will just be a little shambly!”

At a glance, this looked like a new form of torture…

It was a unique approach to be sure, but Muu was indeed making her way to the village under her own power.

And so, with great effort, Muu arrived at the village. She probably could have used her effort on something else, really.

“’ow ’bout that, huh? That’s my true power… Can’t move anymore…can I?”

Muu lay at the entrance to the village, her arms and legs splayed out again. She was covered in grass.

“You don’t go down without a fight, huh?”

“’Course not. A ruler mustn’t ever lose. Even in the ’oroscopes, I can’t stand it if Taurus doesn’t ’ave the best fortune.”

Shouldn’t it only have the best horoscope once or more every twelve days? I didn’t even know they had horoscopes in the ancient world…

“You’re incredible, Muu,” said Rosalie. “But we can’t go around the village if you lie here, so let Big Sis help you.”

“Can’t say no to a mate, can I…?”

And that was that on that. I stuck my head underneath Muu’s arm and hauled her up.

“So this is the village. Sure is peaceful~”

“It really is serene. That’s why I live nearby.”

The only shops open late were the taverns and the restaurant, the Savvy Eagle.

But the village wasn’t unwelcoming of outsiders. In fact, we started to draw a crowd as we made our way around the village.

“Great Witch, who is this girl?”

“She’s not wearing a lot. Is she cold?”

“Hey, stop ogling!”

Muu certainly was showing a lot of skin, probably because the ancient civilization she was from had been in a warm climate. She would be freezing up here in the highlands if she could feel temperature, but fortunately, she couldn’t.

“I’m Muum Muum. These clothes are my fancy wear. I’m very important!”

I could have easily made some snarky comeback, but the villagers took it all in stride and accepted her. For my sake, most likely. They were well practiced.

After that, I let Rosalie explain and introduce the village to Muu. The ghosts had each other; I was just a chaperone.

“You’re extremely dirty after all that rolling, so make sure you wash off in the bath tonight.”

“I know. I can remove the dirt with magic, but I could use a nice, calmin’ bath.”

You can do that with magic? This ancient civilization was incredible…

“By the way, Muu, can you fight and stuff? You’re a mess already, though,” Rosalie asked, floating alongside me.

Given Muu could barely walk, she seemed super weak. Maybe that was why Rosalie asked.

“What are ya talkin’ ’bout? I’m the queen of the Fursa Fursa Kingdom. I’m real powerful. Even if all the adventurers in this town went aggro on me, I’d kick all their sorry arses. Gah, I’m still dizzy…”

I was just sort of ignoring her, but her timing couldn’t have been worse.

An adventuring party chose that moment to come out of the guild. It was a party of five, all different jobs, who I assumed came from far away.

“Big words from a girl who looks like she just got her own ass kicked! Shut the hell up!”

“You might have connections with the famous Witch of the Highlands, but don’t get full of yourself.”

Ughhh… And she put her foot right in her mouth. This gang looked like the kind to start a fight at the drop of a hat—only technically adventurers, really.

But Muu had the pride of a monarch. “What, you? I could crush you in a jiffy. Small potatoes. Shut up an’ eat grass.”

Aaaand now she’s definitely set them off.

“Oh yeah?! You wanna go?!”

“When we’re finished with you, you’ll wish you’d kept your mouth shut!”

Yep, there it is. It was possible that I could finish this quickly if I got involved—

“Nah, this is fine. I’ll do this alone.”

It seemed like Muu was intending to square this away herself.

Was she really, really going to be okay?

I decided to double-check with her in a quiet voice. “Hey, if you’re just saying this to keep your pride, be honest, okay? I saw how much trouble you had trying to walk…”

“No need to worry. It’ll be a perfect victory. They won’t be able to lay a finger on me. Ugh, I’m so bloody tired. I just wanna rest on the groun’ ’ere.”

So which is it?

“Trust Muu in this, Big Sis,” Rosalie said to me with a serious look. “My friend says she’s gonna win, so I have to believe in her.”

I had also decided earlier that I’d let her mostly take care of herself. “Right. Okay, good luck.”

I let Muu go, and she stood up straight.

And collapsed a second later.

“Oh, could you prop me up ’gainst a tree?”

“You already look like you lost! Are you sure you’re okay?!”

The adventurers were bewildered as well, since their opponent was in way worse shape than they’d imagined.

“Can she even fight…?”

“Maybe we should take her to the doctor instead…”

“We’d just be a buncha bullies…”

I knew how they felt.

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Runnin’ scared, I see! I’ll destroy you in an instant!” Muu said, still lying on the ground.

At least try to stand up first before you say that! This isn’t very convincing!

I propped Muu up against a tree alongside the road, just as she asked.

She wasn’t so much standing as she was leaning on it. She really had no physical strength—her time cooped up inside was way more than five or ten years. This was on a totally different scale from even Pondeli, who had worked as a home security officer.

Since the adventurers were going to fight, Natalie from the guild acted as referee.

“We will now begin this guild match—or I’d like to, but is that Muu girl able to fight at all? Are you sure she won’t die? I don’t really want to witness a death today…”

“At the very least, she won’t die (because she’s a ghost).”

I’d never been a ghost so I didn’t really know how this worked, but apparently, Muu’s soul was inside her physical body, moving it around like a puppet. So even if her physical body was injured, she wouldn’t pass on.

This is just a hunch, but I’m sure she could walk around like a zombie even if her head got chopped off. I’d rather not be a part of that horror scenario, though…

“Understood… I believe you, great Witch of the Highlands… Begin.”

The battle began, and the next moment—

All the adventurers fell face-first onto the ground.

“What?! What’s going on?!”

Then, not a second later, all the adventurers started rolling along the ground!

“Gaaaah!”

“I’m so dizzy!”

“I don’t understand!”

As the adventurers screamed, they went rolling away out of the village and out of sight.

“See? Done in a jiffy.” Muu smirked, still leaning against the tree on the side of the road. “I sent ’em far away wiv ancient magic.”

Natalie was shocked, and the other onlookers at the scene didn’t seem to really understand what happened, either.

“You do know a lot of unbelievable folk, great Witch of the Highlands…”

Heck, I was shocked, too. “How did you pull that spell off…?”

“I can’t explain it with your modern technobabble. Long story short, I wished that those adventurers would roll away. Then they did. Thassit.”

Short indeed.

“Usin’ magic in me human form is a little harder, but as a ghost, I can cast it wiv pure willpower.”

“So you’re cheating… We shouldn’t underestimate the ghost queen…”

“That was a combination of knowledge in astral studies, infinite pentagrams, an’ the sevenf cognition of the eighf sense.”

She was starting to sound like an edgy teen…

Muu proved in this one instant that she had exceptional power, and her friend, Rosalie, was thrilled by her strength.

“That was amazing! You’re so strong, it’s like you’re cheating! You’re invincible!”

“Obviously. No way I’d let a modern human best me.”

Rosalie was circling around Muu.

“Rosalie, tell me if you ever ’ave a priest bullyin’ you. I’ll blow ’em away!”

I saw a tight bond between the two ghosts. I’d have to keep an eye on them every once in a while to make sure they didn’t get into any serious trouble, but I was sure Rosalie’d set some boundaries, too.

Then Muu slid down from the tree.

“I can’t move… Azusa, pick me up…”

I’ve never seen an OP character look so weak.

After Muu returned to the house in the highlands, she stayed there for a few days with us. It wouldn’t be possible for the ghosts to run around together in the wild mountains, but she could stay inside without issue.

Muu interacted with Falfa and Shalsha a little, but she spent most of her time with Rosalie.

“I’m so happy, Lady Azusa,” Laika said to me when we were washing dishes together. Muu and Rosalie were chatting in the dining room. “I never thought I’d see Miss Rosalie so delighted. That smile is undoubtedly all thanks to Muu.”

“Yeah. They can relate to each other because they’re in such similar positions.”

Ghosts needed ghosts.

“Now that you mention it, I feel like you got more expressive after a certain point in time.”

“What? When?”

Then Flatorte entered. “Hey, Laika, feed me a snack.”

“Flatorte, be a little more patient! You are much too rude!” Laika immediately scolded.

“Ever since Flatorte came. It’s because you’re both dragons.”

My answer came easily. After Flatorte came, I caught glimpses of parts of Laika that I could never have imagined from her before, like her competitive spirit.

“What?! That has nothing to do with her! Flatorte simply lacks common sense, so I often find myself needing to complain!”

It didn’t seem like Laika recognized that, though.

“Hmph! Badmouthing me, huh? It’s just common sense that blue dragons have no common sense. What can ya do?”

“Why are you suddenly so aggressive?!”

“Because going against the grain is cool!” Flatorte puffed out her chest. I was impressed that she was so assertive on the topic.

For a little while after that, the dragons bickered, while the ghosts chatted.

We should invite Muu over sometimes after today, too.

The doors of our house in the highlands are always open.