COMMUNICATING WITH MY UNDERLINGS IS A PAIN
There was a huge sign that said MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE, and I stood before the building where it hung.
“So this is my workplace…” I looked up at it and recoiled. “I am suddenly working at the main office, and as the minister herself, no less…”
I’d been told that working in the ministry building was much harder than working at the related organizations, and I had been planning on consistently working not here but at the Agricultural Policy Organization.
It was once my path to victory…
“I can no longer go back… I cannot quit after two or three days; I have no choice but to work as the minister of agriculture…”
Bureaucratic officials busily came and went around me like ants hard at work.
It was now a new era with a new demon king, and that probably brought with it plenty of paperwork.
I watched it all for a while.
I had changed my image from a plain-glasses character to a high-ranking demon, and not only that, but no one recognized me as the minister because I barely knew anyone. That made it easy.
But on the other hand, when I entered the building, people stared at me, wondering who I was.
“…I should have come through the back door…”
I went up the floors by a staircase that wasn’t being used.
The minister’s office was a big room on the top floor. Whew, I managed to get this far in secret.
Then, when I slipped into the office—
I found a whole line of officials.
Everyone was gathered already!
I saw all sorts of different horns, as demons had. I even saw a Minotaur and a Cyclops among them.
They all turned to face me at once, noticing my arrival.
This was bad for my heart. They were wondering why such a low-ranking worker was promoted to minister and thinking of how incompetent I was, I was sure…
Then a woman with unique horns took a step forward.
“Pardon me. I don’t recognize you, so you must be Minister Beelzebub, yes?”
“I-indeed… It is I, Beelzebub…”
“Then I ask that you make a few comments as you assume your post now. Oh, pardon me—I am Fatla the leviathan, secretary here at the Department of Agriculture,” she said, unsmiling.
Leviathans were high-ranking demons in their own right.
At the moment, she resembled a human, but I’d heard that a leviathan’s original form was like an airborne battleship that could carry hundreds of people.
So she must be a career civil servant…
I knew what she was thinking: What a terrible joke, making a small fry like this into a minister.
My stomach started hurting. My body wouldn’t be absorbing anything I ate now.
“Some initial comments, you say. Very well. I don’t want to cause you any trouble, so I’ll finish it quick…er, I shall finish this promptly, so stay there.”
It was hard to play my supercilious character before officials who were actually important. But it would be awful if I made a fool of myself at first contact.
I stood before the officials. Walking just those few steps to reach my spot was spiritually exhausting, like walking through a deadly poisonous bog.
“Erm… I am Beelzebub, and I am the minister of agriculture as of today… In all honesty, I am powerless and unable to do much of importance, but I believe that together, we may overcome this…so…”
Was that okay?
But I was calling myself powerless; was I just making a fool of myself? Wouldn’t that just tempt them to underestimate me?
I thought I heard someone snickering.
It was probably just paranoia, but I definitely thought I heard someone!
I have no choice but to toot my own horn now!
I spread out my wings in a snap.
“’Twas but a joke! I have been chosen to take this place by the omniscient and omnipotent demon king! As such, I possess a great power that will guide you! So, so…er… Should there be anything you do not know or any problem you may have, you come to me!! I shall brilliantly solve all your problems as your superior!”
“““Yeah!!!”””
The officers raised their voices in admiration.
That was the right answer. I got through it without acting servile.
I heard whispers:
“She looks like she has it together.”
“Maybe she really is from a high-ranking family.”
My first impression wasn’t bad.
“Perhaps she really is a policy expert.”
“Maybe she was, like, a right-hand man for the previous demon king.”
“You can keep an eye on a lot if you stay down at the lower levels.”
“She must be the reason all the high-ranking officials’ scandals were exposed at the same time!”
Mm… Now I suspect they are overestimating me!
“I was wondering what we’d do with a shabby entry-level worker, but that isn’t the case at all.”
“She’s a secret bigwig.”
“With her, we could even win our disputes with the finance ministry.”
“She must have the next hundred, two hundred years planned out for the demon race.”
“Long live the new minister!”
Their hopeful looks hurt more this time…
I’m not a policy expert, not even in a worst-case scenario…
I was just someone from a tiny, distant corner of the agricultural ministry. I was only ever confident in my abilities to do miscellaneous chores… I wasn’t even thinking about what was going to happen in a month. The most I ever thought about was whether I was going to drink at home or at a bar on the weekends.
I thought I had to start showing results fit for a minister right away, otherwise things would be bad…
“Then you are dismissed… Get to it now…”
The officials poured out of the minister’s office.
Phew, that was stressful. I was finally free…
But there were still two left in the room.
One was the earlier leviathan, Fatla. The other was another leviathan who looked a lot like her.
“Well done, Lady Beelzebub. Allow me to introduce myself again. I am Fatla, the secretary. It is my job to assist the minister of agriculture. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Right, she did say she was a secretary earlier, too.
Oh man, I already had someone so square and straitlaced attached to me. I wouldn’t be able to relax like this…
“Yes. A pleasure. And who’s that beside you?”
The second girl flung her hand into the air. “Hello! I’m Vania the leviathan. I’m the assistant secretary and Fatla’s little sister! It’s nice to meet you!”
I see. It was the sisters who were assisting me. Their personalities were exact opposites.
“Right, right. Well, it’s—’tis lovely to meet both of you.”
I stuck my hand out toward Fatla. A handshake was a general way to show respect.
Fatla grasped my hand, still not smiling. Maybe that was her default.
Asking her to smile didn’t seem like the right way to go about this, though.
“By the way, Lady Beelzebub?”
“What?”
“You’ve made quite the transformation. Is this your attempt at a debut as a minister?”
She hit me right where it hurt. The attack was surprisingly close to home.
“I don’t…do not understand what you mean.”
“That manner of speech of yours is a mere facade, and I can see your faults surfacing. You clearly rushed to create this whole charade after being forced into the position of minister, correct? You were planning on living your whole life as a lazy low-level clerk, weren’t you?”
This conversation was draining my magic dry…
“Q-quite the opposite… Now that I am a minister, I’m able to be myself, and, you know, it’s like the persona I’ve hidden all this time is rising to the surface…”
“Is that so? I see. I see now.”
This leviathan woman didn’t smile at all, so it was hard to see what she was thinking. But from the circumstantial evidence, I was undoubtedly being cornered…
“My only duty is to make sure that the new minister is comfortable doing her work. Let me know if there’s anything I may help you with.”
“Yeah… All right.”
Our hands were still clasped together, but Fatla wasn’t letting me go.
I was above her in status, but I was from a family of scruffy demons, so I was nervous in front of a leviathan.
“However—”
Oh no. That “however” told me straightaway that what she just said wasn’t how she really felt!
“I’m not working because you’re paying my salary, Lady Beelzebub. I am at most a bureaucrat working to support our country. If you are not fit for the office of minister and I judge that agricultural policy has regressed, then I will be taking the appropriate measures.”
“So you’re kicking me out if I don’t do a good job…”
It wasn’t hot at all, but I was starting to sweat.
This is scary! The bureaucratic world is terrifying! I wanna go back to the bottom!
“I don’t appreciate the term kick out. I will simply take the proper steps to deal with the situation as a public servant,” Fatla continued in a monotonous voice. “In the event of any major mistakes, I will suggest that you make it public instead of attempting a cover-up; I will question you if I see any dishonest accounting; I will suggest you quit if you find yourself unable to bear the weight of your duties as minister because you are unwell—and any other such measures I deem necessary.”
Ahhh! She’s totally gonna kick me out!
“And so I would be perfectly fine if you considered me as a regular secretary.”
This is intimidation! What am I supposed to do if my own secretary is my enemy?! This is like putting the demon king in the hero’s party! I wanna quit!
But if I quit, then the demon king would be responsible for appointing someone new, and I suspected I’d be erased from existence for the crime of besmirching the demon king’s name. There was no real assurance that I would be safe if I quit.
There was no way out…
“I got it. I’ve spent fifteen hundred years at the bottom of the ministry, after all. I am not a complete amateur. I will do everything in my power!” I told her sharply.
But she was still speaking sharply to me.
“Very well. I sincerely hope you are right.” Fatla finally let me go.
These leviathan sisters weren’t my assistants. They were monitoring me.
Once my handshake with the elder sister was finished, the younger sister, Vania, immediately skipped over to me and shook my hand.
“Can’t wait to get started, boss!”
“Yes, of course.”
I had to keep my guard up—she could be acting like a sunny, cheerful girl when she was actually the mastermind behind it all.
In the action novels I read in the past, the more a character smiled, the stronger they were, and they wouldn’t bat an eye when it came to killing others.
“All right, then, boss. There’s something I need for you to pick.”
“And what might that be…?”
I didn’t know if I was being tested or anything, so I was extremely uneasy.
Vania produced a piece of paper.
“We need to contact the traders who deliver lunch soon. Which one do you want, boss?”
These choices had nothing to do with work!
“Vania, you can leave this for later…”
Fatla, the elder sister, looked at her with annoyance, silently asking her not to ruin the mood.
“Whaaat? Picking what to have for lunch is so important, though! It helps give you another push in the morning.”
The younger sister had the energy of an entry-level worker. There sure were all sorts of people on the career ladder…
“Then…I suppose I shall have the loaded steak-and-vegetable stir-fry…”
“Okay! I will put in that order right away! Oh, and by the way, I’m very good at cooking, so as long as you let me know beforehand, I can make lunch for you about once a week.”
“That’s not secretary work!”
The big sister, Fatla, was angry again.
Maybe they had been appointed together as secretaries because they canceled each other out and worked well together as a pair?
My work as the minister of agriculture started that day.
My main job was signing things.
The signing itself took only a fraction of a second to do, but when it came to matters that needed the approval of the minister, the matters themselves had to have some weight, and occasionally they involved the movement of astronomical sums of money. I couldn’t just scribble on these and call it a day.
Having said that, if I vetoed all the things that had been considered okay up until this point just because I was at the top, I’d be a tyrant.
And so I had to sign things while also carefully checking the contents.
Luckily, I had a very knowledgeable secretary with me, so that made it easy.
Fatla was the perfect bureaucrat.
The new demon king must have had a say in these personnel appointments beforehand, so maybe she put them here as my personal support, regardless of what Fatla herself thought.
“This farm should not pose any problems, yes? I believe they could produce this more cheaply, though.”
“You may check anything concerning the budget in the attached document.”
“Can I ask you some things about this application for authorization?”
“Certainly. There isn’t much time to ruminate on it, however, so do make up your mind quickly.”
In a word, I’d say I was doing pretty well. But I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about it all; I was just desperate. There was no room for me to slack and do sloppy work.
For the first three months, I dedicated a lot of time to getting a grasp on the current state of the agricultural administration.
I had lunch with people beneath me who were responsible for relevant matters as much as I could, and then I examined each department’s own problems and what they perceived to be problems.
I could do only what I could, so that was what I did.
I put everything I learned down into my notes.
It was a lot of trouble, but I ended up creating volume after volume of notes. This was my strategy for dealing with things, one that I had cultivated when I was a low-level employee.
Write and remember. Write and arrange.
When things felt difficult and confusing, they could be conquered in this manner. Learn a strategy to deal with it and understand the precedents!
Six months went by in a flash.
“You are quite the stickler for notes, Lady Beelzebub,” Fatla said to me as she was checking documents on the desk beside mine.
She was making her little sister, Vania, do mostly menial tasks, like disposing of or retrieving documents.
It wasn’t too odd for her position, since she was a lower-ranked secretary, and she personally enjoyed moving around.
“’Tis much harder for me to forget things when I write them down with my own hand like this. No matter how many documents I collect, I have such trouble remembering the government’s style. If I make a little list of all the things in the library, I can find them immediately; I wouldn’t be able to find them without one, no? It’s the same idea.”
I’d even gotten quite used to my grandiloquent minister speech after six months.
At the moment, I hadn’t made any big mistakes. I hadn’t been impeached yet, at least, so I supposed that meant it was going quite well.
I didn’t have any opportunities to do anything untoward, so I wasn’t involved in corruption at all. Well, I didn’t even belong to any faction, so I suppose there was little to be gained by abusing my power…
“I see. You are a different breed from all the past ministers, Lady Beelzebub.” Fatla finished her checks and placed the documents on my desk. “They all have been eager to be political—or should I say, eager to wield the power they’d accumulated. Perhaps it’s a given, considering this is the highest position they may reach without the blood of a demon king, but in exchange, they tended to neglect the fundamental work.”
“That’s because I started from the bottom—well, more like I leaped from the bottom straight to the top. Of course my perspective is different.”
Recently, I started to be able to pinpoint where the main point of a document was amid the complicated language. Practice was everything. I determined that there were no problems and gave my signature.
“To be honest, I said some brash things to you when we first met, but now I realize that my comments were unwarranted,” Fatla said suddenly. She stood to face me, then bowed her head. “Please forgive me for testing you.”
I turned my gaze right back to the documents. It was nothing to apologize for.
“’Tis only natural to worry that an unknown was suddenly the minister of agriculture. While they were not as open about it as you were, others were certainly thinking the same way. If a newbie is angry at being called a newbie, then a cow might as well be angry at being called a cow.”
“Thank you.” Fatla bowed.
I thought I saw a little smile on her face, but I couldn’t really tell because I was focused on paperwork.
“There’s no reason to give your thanks. Now get back to work. After you do a bit more, you should take some time off and spend it with your little sister. I can keep things moving without a secretary for a day, at least. I have most things memorized now.”
“Very well. I will strive to match your clerical prowess, Lady Beelzebub.”
“I doubt there is much difference between our skills.”
“No, you are truly the most capable of all the recent ministers of agriculture, Lady Beelzebub.”
That was probably because I didn’t conspire with other high-up officers.
The role of a worker at the bottom was just doing clerical tasks as the situation called for it. When someone climbed up from such a position, people would start one-upping each other with what sort of projects they did in their time.
I was still merely a clerk at heart. I acted all high-and-mighty for show, but I hadn’t changed the way I lived.
“That being said, it’s always around the six-month mark after beginning a new post that people tend to let their guard down and make bigger mistakes, so do be careful.”
“Yes, of course. I understand. I am still not relaxed enough to let my guard down yet.”
Now, next was some work relating to the construction of a seed nursery center. Many people were going to be removed from the land as part of that process, so I had a large number of valuable documents asking for consent to remove the residents there.
“Mmm? All the documents that should have been here are gone.”
The things I had placed next to Vania’s spot on my left were missing.
Vania was up from her seat, burning documents we didn’t need anymore in the furnace.
“Vania, the set of seed nursery center documents is gone. Where is it?”
“Huh? I thought you didn’t need those anymore? You always put the documents you don’t need anymore to your left, right?”
“No, I placed them to the open spot on my left because it would take time to check them.”
Vania’s face went white. “I—I—I—I—I—I burned them…”
“You did whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????????”
The one who let her guard down six months after taking the post wasn’t me but my secretary!!!!!
Vania fell to her knees, and Fatla pulled her up with a blank expression. There was no emotion on her face, but I could tell she was furious.
“You were supposed to double-check every single document you take from this room before destroying it. Did you do that?”
“I-I’m sorry… I thought they were in a discard pile…”
“This is a huge question of liability. You will most certainly be demoted, and according to precedent, we might have you resign at your own convenience.”
“Wait, I’m fired? Am I going to be fired…?”
“Those papers included documents asking for the consent to remove over fifty civilian households, as well as those of various other related parties. It would take an immense amount of time to go around and ask each and every one of these people to write them all over again, please and thanks. In the worst-case scenario, this would delay construction by one or two months…” Fatla’s voice was growing louder and louder. “Quitting is the least you could do!”
Fatla’s hand slowly wrapped around Vania’s neck.
That was a leviathan hand, so her grip was probably insanely strong.
“E-erm… Isn’t there any way we can find an amicable compromise, Big Sis…?”
“You will have to bear the blame. Otherwise, the responsibility rests on Lady Beelzebub’s shoulders! Secretaries have disappeared after taking the fall for such incidents! Although I suppose the secretary really was at fault this time…”
Fatla’s hands were shaking.
It was definitely hard for her to say such things to her sister.
But it was also true that we needed a scapegoat in this incident. It wouldn’t resolve itself.
Oh well.
I slowly stood.
We’ll just have a scapegoat, then.
“Fatla, rearrange the schedule. Once we’ve estimated how long this will delay the project, we will go apologize to each party. Most people will have no choice but to forgive us if I apologize. If the minister herself goes, I doubt anyone will lose face.”
“B-but you have absolutely no fault in this matter, Lady Beelzebub…,” Fatla said hesitantly.
It was her own relative who made the mistake, so it was probably especially difficult to stick up for her.
“Don’t be a fool. ’Tis the boss’s job to take responsibility for her subordinates. I had many bosses bow in my stead when I was a low-level clerk. Now I must be the one to apologize. If all I do is offer my apology, then there is nothing more you need to do!”
We just needed to get this nonsense done and out of the way.
“Now, Fatla, create the necessary documents. The quicker we apologize, the lesser the damages. And while we are at it, we shall also create preventative measures to ensure this does not happen again. There should be no more problems if we only place documents for destruction on a separate desk.”
“Y-yes!” Fatla tensed her shoulders and responded with a high, strained voice.
“But first, take a deep breath. That is all.”
Fatla inhaled deeply as she was commanded, then gave a very long exhale.
“Understood. I will devise remedial measures right away.”
Afterward, Vania and I paid each party concerned a visit, apologized for the loss of the documents, and spent almost the whole time with our heads bowed to the floor.
The minister herself appearing for the incident had a tremendous effect, and it was understood that we would be re-creating the documents internally at the ministry.
Thus, we went on our apology pilgrimage, and thanks to Fatla’s efficient schedule, there wasn’t much damage done in terms of time.
It was times like these that I was thankful we could fly on the leviathans’ enormous forms.
But I couldn’t go too fast, so I clung to Vania when we went to certain places.
We were finally done apologizing and recreating documents after about two weeks, and we somehow managed to settle the matter without any delays to construction.
“Phew, that’s finally over!”
After I had carefully gone over every re-created form, I stretched my body and wings.
Fatla was stretching at her own seat as well.
“There is no need for you to bow your head anymore, Vania! How many times do you think you’ve bowed in total this time?” I said, intending to make a joke—
But it fell completely flat.
“I…I am truly sorry, so very sorry…”
When Vania had gone out with me to apologize, she had been frightened and jumpy the whole time, like a frog before a snake.
I wouldn’t approve if she’d been laughing the whole time we were out apologizing, but the constant doom and gloom made things difficult, too.
This was one of those times I had to act like a boss. I patted Vania on the shoulder and said, “Are you free today? I would like to have a drink with you—how about it?”
“A-all right…” Vania’s face went even paler.
Wait, don’t tell me—maybe bosses aren’t supposed to invite their subordinates to drink in this day and age…?
I didn’t take Vania to a loud tavern but instead to a fancy bar.
I’d heard from my officers that this place had a good reputation.
“Order what you like. The food here is quite good.”
But even after I’d brought her all the way here, Vania was stiffer than before. I almost mistook her for a gargoyle instead of a leviathan.
“Relax. You’re quite important yourself—take up as much space as you need.”
“I—I can’t…”
Hmm? This was strange. I read in a how-to book that the boss jovially treated everyone at times like these, but this was feeling more like a funeral…
Was she afraid I would boast on and on about the past or force her to split the bill at such an expensive restaurant?
I was paying for everything. And since I had been a bottom-tier worker, there was nothing for me to brag about. From the way she was acting, I had a feeling she was afraid of something else.
What else could there be?
Maybe she’d made an even bigger mistake…? If she did, then I wasn’t sure how much more I could cover for her…
“If there is something that troubles you, speak up. That is why we’ve come here. My lips are sealed. I am your boss, after all.”
I had subordinates now. I would act like the boss I was supposed to be!
“A-a-all right… Then let me ask you bluntly…”
“O-okay…”
“Um… You’re demoting me, aren’t you…?”
I almost fell from my barstool. “What do you mean, ‘aren’t you’? When did I ever mention demoting you?”
“I mean, I’ve smeared your name with this whole incident… I thought some form of retaliation was inevitable…”
“Wait, wait, wait! That makes no sense! Why do you think I went to apologize with you?!”
What a shock! I wasn’t telling her to be thankful for everything I did for her; I just wanted her to be glad that she wasn’t being punished!
“That’s what I thought at first, but…then you invited me alone to such an expensive restaurant, so I thought, ‘Oh, she must be announcing the end of my clerical life…’”
That’s how she interpreted this?!
“And then I started imagining all sorts of things, like how I’d be put in a windowless room to count the number of rejected papers…”
“There is no such job.”
“I spent this whole time thinking, ‘Maybe it’s fine because I’ll still get paid; maybe it’s better than quitting; no wait, maybe I should just quit anyway…’”
Didn’t that go against her obligation to give her undivided attention to her duty?
I patted her on the shoulder.
“Ahhh…the fabled shoulder tap… I knew I was being demoted! I’m going to be flown out to the far, uninhabited reaches of the north and placed at a counter where no one will ever come!”
“You need to let this go already.” I gulped down some of the expensive alcohol. “Look, I invited you out to drink today because you have been looking down. Drink as much as you want to forget your troubles. That is all I wanted to say.”
“Th-then…you’re not demoting me…?”
“Of course not. Drink and forget the pain of the past. Order freely: I shall pay for it all!”
“…Boss…are you a god?!”
“Not at all. I am a demon.” I grinned like a high-ranking demon.
That was the first time in my life I treated someone as a proper boss would.
I was maturing, too.
I didn’t mind the bottom-tier life, but perhaps the minister life wouldn’t be so bad after all.
—Two hours later.
I walked through the city with a drunk Vania on my back. “I never expected she’d be causing me problems in this way…”
“Eh-he-he-he… Booze, booze…”
Vania was completely gone, so I had to take her home myself. I did such things when I was a lowly clerk and my bosses drank themselves into a stupor, but to think I’d do this as the minister of agriculture…
I wanted to fly her home, but I was drunk, too. Causing an accident while flying under the influence was a grave offense…
I somehow managed to reach the residential district, and there was Fatla, standing at the corner.
“I am so sorry, Lady Beelzebub. My sister is so irresponsible…” She bowed to me with a tired look.
“You’ve been putting in quite a lot of work as well, haven’t you? But I clearly see why you were chosen to be my secretary.”
“What do you mean?” She looked at me quizzically.
“Your hands are quite full taking care of your little sister. That is why they deemed you capable of handling a minister who did not know her right from her left.”
Fatla’s mouth opened in surprise.
She had treated me rather gruffly at first but was still a solid assistant for me after all that. She worked hard, exactly as she needed to as a good secretary.
Otherwise, my efforts on my own were insignificant; my work as minister wouldn’t be very effective.
Had Fatla not created countermeasures for Vania’s mistake this time, things would have been more complicated for much longer. And if that happened, I would probably have had to drop the problematic secretary after all.
“Fatla, do you think I can become a minister good enough for you to serve?”
“As of now, you’re about seventy-five percent there.”
I wanted eighty, but that was still a passing grade.
“Now do something about your sister.” I handed over Vania.
“Lady Beelzebub, I am truly glad you are our minister.” Fatla gave me a gentle, natural smile.
“And I’ll take you to a good spot next time, too.”
The night breeze on my way home felt perfect.
I think I’m starting to enjoy my work as the minister of agriculture.
The End
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