I ATE A MUSHROOM AND TURNED INTO A KID
It was a beautiful day.
“Wow, the sky is so clear!”
The light pouring in through the window was lovely, and I felt like going out for a picnic. We lived in the highlands, so we were kind of already in a good picnicking spot.
“Madam Teacher, the weather really is gorgeous today! It’s days like these we should cook outside!” Halkara the elf was also relatively excited. She was off from work at the factory that day, so she’d slept in longer than normal.
“Cooking outside can only mean one thing! Meat!”
“Meat! Meat! Meat!”
With their gleaming eyes, our dragon duo of Laika and Flatorte seemed more like a zombie duo.
It hadn’t been all that long since we had our last barbecue, but they didn’t seem tired of it yet.
“No, we’re not grilling meat. This will be a mushroom cookout.”
Halkara spoke with the utmost seriousness. Well, mushrooms were on the list of things to grill during cookouts, but it was a little weird to have only mushrooms. It was like eating ramen without the noodles.
“Where I’m from, everyone would gather various types of mushrooms and just cook all of them. We called it a mushroom cookout, or a mushout for short. The ladies enjoy it because it’s so healthy.”
It was hard to tell where the jokes stopped and the facts began. But it probably wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot just this once. “Do you even have mushrooms?”
“Indeed, I do. I have the ones I’ve been raising, and I’ll gather the rest from the forest. I will be back in about an hour and a half with a basket full of them.”
Halkara was weirdly knowledgeable about mushrooms, so I didn’t have any reason not to believe her.
“Then you’ll be on time for lunch, no problem. All right, we’ll have a mushout, then.”
“Yay! This is gonna be fun!”
“I read the hermits of old would go into the mountains and keep themselves alive on just a few grasses. They wouldn’t even ingest wheat. This will be an ascetic meal.”
My daughters were getting excited, too.
And, Shalsha, this isn’t going to feel like a religious meal.
The two dragons didn’t seem all that into it, but what could I do about that? In a way, a mushroom barbecue was a rarer opportunity than a meat barbecue, so they’d just have to deal.
“Oh well. I guess I could make a hamburger full of mushrooms!” Flatorte mentioned a way to cheat without breaking the mushroom restriction. Mushroom dishes were fine, then? I mean, they were free to eat meat, sure… But then the mushrooms wouldn’t be the centerpiece.
“Well then, I am off to gather mushrooms!” Halkara shot her right hand up into the air, still just as excited as before.
“Okay. Oh… And just one thing I want you to be mindful of: Please don’t bring back any poisonous mushrooms…” I was confident in Halkara’s knowledge, but her execution could be a little sloppy. Sorting out poisonous mushrooms from the rest sometimes got complicated. Well, more than sometimes. Pretty often, actually.
“I’ll be careful. I have completely memorized all the edible and inedible mushrooms of the nearby woods! It won’t be a problem at all!”
“Yeah, but now I’m even more concerned, so be sure to double-check before you put them on the grill…”
I knew if we checked before frying them, we wouldn’t end up cooking a poisonous one by mistake.
An hour and a half later…
Halkara returned with a basket full of mushrooms.
“All right! I’ve chosen edible mushrooms and only edible mushrooms! We will all be just fine!”
“Okay. I’ll trust you if you say so. I’ll give them a taste before my daughters eat.”
“You don’t trust me at all!”
I mean, I couldn’t help it. Nothing was ever truly certain, and people who spoke in absolutes always ended up in doubt.
“We’ll do a thorough check. Just a check. Companies that take care to check things avoid the biggest incidents. Messy employee management makes for a bad company.”
“It sounds like you’ve seen it all before, Madam Teacher…”
In my past life, I witnessed lots of news stories about company higher-ups who apologized for mistakes and accidents due to the employees’ carelessness. There’s a lot of administrative responsibility that comes along with that.
“Then I’ll go to my room next and pick some of the mushrooms I’m cultivating!”
Halkara collected a wide variety of mushrooms and cultivated them in her room since she used them for herbal medicines. That made her room look a little suspect, but it wasn’t much different from my drying plants for poultices as a witch.
“Sure, sure. Do what you like. I’ll leave you in charge today, Halkara.”
“He-he-he, I’ll show you what high-quality mushrooms can do!” Halkara announced like a character from a cooking manga before heading to her room.
And then, lunchtime.
We placed a table and chairs outside and started cooking.
“Ta-daaa! I’ve collected quite a variety of mushrooms!”
Sure enough, there were white ones, black ones, and red ones. Some looked like eggs, some like umbrellas, and some just like sticks.
“None of them is poisonous, so we’ll be all right. We’ll fry them in butter on a griddle then drizzle some elvin on top, and that’s it! It’s sooo good!”
Elvin was kind of like soy sauce.
Butter–soy sauce mushrooms, huh? That actually sounded delicious. It would probably go really well with some beer, so I got a bit of that ready, too.
“Mistress, you’re drinking during the day?” Flatorte queried. It was a little embarrassing being asked outright like that.
“Why not? Halkara’s off today, so I should be safe if I finish after lunch.”
And so our mushout began.
“First, we’ll start with a gnome’s hideout, as is tradition.”
“Wait, that’s a name I’ve never heard before.” Gnome was the name of a tiny race.
“It’s not native to this area, so I’m growing some in my room. It’s called that because it’s just big enough for little gnomes to hide in. It has the quintessential mushroom flavor.”
I gave it a taste, and she was right. It tasted like a stronger shiitake. And the butter–soy sauce went so well with it! And wow, the beer went even better with it!!
“Phew! I could go for another glass! This is delicious!”
Man, day drinking is the best! Mushrooms are the best!
The other mushrooms were, of course, delicious. The butter-and-soy-sauce combination was so good. It made everything better.
“This is a black dwarf. It tastes the best right before it gets too big. I picked out these mushrooms very carefully.”
“Mm. Delicious.” Even Shalsha, who wasn’t the biggest fan of vegetables, seemed satisfied as she ate.
Even Laika the carnivore said, “This isn’t too bad,” as she stabbed her fork into the mushrooms.
Everyone’s so into it. I’m glad we had this mushout.
“I never knew there were so many kinds of mushrooms! The forest is full of mysteries! This is so cool!” Falfa gave her compliments to the forest itself.
She was right; it was a fascinating part of the woods that we never usually paid attention to.
“How is everything, Madam Teacher? See? Nothing I’ve collected is poisonous.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry for doubting you.”
It was nice to know that she actually wouldn’t end up putting poisonous ones in the mix if I cautioned her enough.
“What about this red one?” I asked as I popped the new species into my mouth.
“Oh, that’s also a gnome’s hideout… Wait, no, actually, that’s a gnomesform.”
“Huh, that’s another funny name.”
“Yes, it’s a poisonous one that’s said to shrink whoever eats it.”
“Wow, so it’s a poisonous— Wait, hold on.”
Expressionless, I clapped my hands onto Halkara’s shoulders.
“Did you say poisonous just now? You said it was poisonous, didn’t you?”
“Erm, Madam Teacher, your eyes are scaring me…”
“And I told you so many times to be careful what mushrooms you pick from the woods…”
“Oh no! I picked what I got from the forest very carefully! But I guess I ended up picking some inedible ones from the batches I’m growing in my room!”
“So?! You think I’m fine with that just because you didn’t get them from the forest?!”
I’d let my guard down. I’d underestimated how much of a ditz Halkara was…
“Are you all right, Mom? I’ll take you to bed if you feel sick.” Shalsha came up beside me with an uneasy expression. My daughter’s care and attention warmed my heart.
“More importantly, you and Falfa didn’t have any of this, did you?”
Shalsha shook her head. Falfa, in the background, did the same.
The two of them appeared as young girls, so we took great care around them.
And Laika and Flatorte were dragons, so frankly, they weren’t weak enough to succumb to a single poisonous mushroom.
Halkara knew how to handle these things, so she would be fine. Rosalie couldn’t die, being a ghost and all, and she didn’t eat to begin with. No problems there.
Stats-wise, a poisonous mushroom wasn’t enough to kill me, so I guess I could say that I’d avoided the worst.
At the moment, I didn’t have any obvious symptoms.
“So? What’s the gnomesform’s poison like?”
“Er, well… It’s a very odd sort of mushroom. I’ve heard it makes you like a gnome…”
“So it shrinks you? No way eating a mushroom could do something like that to—”
Something strange was clearly happening in my body.
I felt like I was floating.
It was like I’d gotten a sudden fever…
Then, for about ten seconds, I lost consciousness—
I opened my eyes.
The first thing I felt was how baggy my clothes were. My hat sat over my whole face. When I moved it out of the way, Halkara seemed enormous.
Wait. Something’s weird with my perception, and everything looks just a bit too far away.
Both Laika and Rosalie also seemed huge. Everyone looked like my older sisters. Even Shalsha seemed big. When did she get so mature? Did she have a growth spurt?
Shalsha blinked at me. That was a level of surprise I’d never seen on her face before.
Then, suddenly, someone squeezed me from behind.
“Eee! You’re so cute! You’re so cute, Mommy!”
Oh, that voice was Falfa’s. But I could feel myself being lifted into the air. When did she get this strong? Was this also a skill from a growth spurt?
“You’re a hundred and fifty times cuter than I am, Falfa. But hearing you call me cute makes me happy.”
“Yeah, you got even cuter, Mommy!”
That’s strange. Did I put that much effort into my makeup today?
By the way, since I’d been keeping my seventeen-year-old figure for three hundred years, my skin was still supple. When it came to makeup, I didn’t have to apply much to achieve a natural look; all I had to do was slap a little on and that was that. But that’s a different story.
Laika then rushed over. She really did seem much bigger now.
“Laika, my sense of perspective is way off.”
“Lady Azusa… Have you not realized it yet?”
I’d long been aware of how cute my daughters were, but that probably wasn’t what she was talking about.
“Lady Azusa, you’ve gotten smaller… You’re perhaps the size of a five- or six-year-old child…”
“……”
Once again, I looked at my baggy clothes.
“…Gaaaaahhh! What the heck?! I’m the same size as that detective kid now!”
“Lady Azusa, you are not a detective or anything of the sort! Unless… Have you also gone mad?!”
Oh, I’m totally mentally sound, actually.
I rushed back to my house in the highlands, and the first thing I did was find a mirror.
Staring back at me was a little kid.
“I’m a child…”
“Yes. Looking the way you do, you might even be a toddler.”
I was thankful that Laika could remain calm at times like these.
If you were wondering, Halkara had bowed in apology to me several times then shut herself in her room to research a way to bring me back to normal.
We tried casting a Cure Poison spell, but the effect that shrank me had already been activated and run its course, so it was ineffective. It wasn’t like my strength was being chipped away from me in the present tense…
The mushroom was called “gnomesform,” and eating it made me look like this. I guess it was true to its name.
As long as there wasn’t any more poison in it, I should be fine for now.
“I hope I can get back to normal soon. I don’t really have clothes for this body in the long term, so that’s a problem.”
“Erm, Lady Azusa…?” Laika was pressing her hand gently to her mouth.
Was she sympathizing with my misery?
“Ah… This might come across as rude, but please allow me to say this to you. You— You’re cute… You’re absolutely adorable.”
Should I be happy about this…?
Then a very cheery Flatorte arrived.
I had a bad feeling about it, but I moved too slowly to escape.
“Hawww, you’re so cute! You’re so cute, Mistress! Aaand up we go! Aaaaand up!”
“Don’t lift me like that! And I’m not actually a kid! I’m really not into this! The way you’re just throwing me around is seriously freaking me out!”
In the end, I became a rag doll for my family to play with…
Afterward, Laika went to Flatta and purchased some children’s clothes, which I was wearing now. She even found a miniature version of my hat for me to wear. With the new clothes, I ended up looking like my usual self, just bite-size.
“Okay, Mommy. Say ahhh!”
As I sat on the floor, Falfa brought over a cookie.
“Don’t treat me like a child—wait, I guess I am…” I opened my mouth, and she shoved it in.
Mm, good stuff. I did have some conflicting feelings about the experience, though.
Then Shalsha came over, hefting a very thick book. “Today I will be doing a reading designed for children.”
“Yep, that’s me. I sure am a children.”
“I’ll be reading you the first volume of the Records of Meditation, Fundamental Discrepancies Between Knowledge and Experience. This is an in-depth discussion of intuitive cognition—a true masterpiece.”
“Haven’t you set the bar a little too high…?”
“You’ll get sleepy as I read to you. It’s perfect for a young child’s nap time.”
I feel like her reasoning is a little off, but I can play along, I suppose…
After that, Shalsha started telling me about how “Intuitive cognition is not caused by an accumulation of knowledge,” among other things, but that went over my head.
I got sleepier and sleepier. Could my response be more childlike than normal? Or was it really because the book was super boring?
I started nodding off as I sat leaning against the wall.
Then Falfa snuggled up beside me. “You’re so cute, Mommy. I’ll nap with you.”
“Okay… I’m just… so sleepy… So, so sleepy…”
I almost wanted to fall asleep right on the spot, but Shalsha suddenly stood up—
“Yah! You must awaken to spirituality!”
—and gave me a little chop!
“Hey, come on. Don’t wake me up…”
“This is the very definition of intuitive cognition. This is something that can only be awakened by experience.”
Was she mad because I’d gotten sleepy while she was reading?
“But…sleeping is an experience as well… I, Shalsha, shall allow it.”
So she was letting us sleep anyway.
“After all, I’m sleepy, too…”
She snuggled up to me on my other side, and for a short while, the three of us dozed.
Times like these weren’t so bad.
Then something a bit unusual happened during dinnertime.
There was a strange flag planted at the peak of my omelet.
“…This is what you do for a kid’s lunch!”
“What do you think? I decided to make your meal a little fancier to suit your looks, Lady Azusa!” Laika’s expression told me she was proud of her creation.
“You guys are having way too much fun with me…”
Hopefully I wouldn’t have to weather the kiddie jokes for much longer.
I anticipated the punch being something about how tight my clothes would be in the morning.
“…Laika, don’t you have a lot more food than normal?”
“No, I almost have less than normal. I see your appetite has gotten smaller.”
That made sense. In a way, my metabolism was better in this body.
Above me, Rosalie said, “Ah, so the weight of the soul stays the same even if the body gets smaller!” Not sure how she measured that.
“Halkara isn’t here, though.”
“Miss Halkara said she would be doing some research and has locked herself in her room all day.”
I had a bad feeling about that. No, don’t tell me, don’t tell me…
“Erm, Lady Azusa, I have one request to make.” Laika seemed to be somewhat impatient, like she couldn’t hold back her joy.
“Yes, what is it?”
“I know these might be bad manners during a meal, but…might I be allowed to pat your head?”
With hollow eyes, I sighed. “…Fine, just dote on me all you want! I’m ready for it!”
Soon after, Laika started patting my head. But I got the general impression that she was hesitant. I guess this was new for her. When I did the same to my daughters, I ruffled their hair relentlessly.
“And? You satisfied now?”
I was sullenly eating my dinner. Laika sat beside me.
“I feel like I now understand a little of how you feel about your daughters… Oh, you’re much too adorable… And that sulk on your face is much too cute…”
Right, little girls were cute, no matter the expression they wore. Even if they suddenly started talking about politics, the abrupt disparity between their face and the topic would be endearing in its own way.
Then Flatorte also stopped eating and came to pat me with a “You can’t hog her, Laika!” It didn’t matter who pet me anymore.
“I know for certain that I, Flatorte, am patting you more gently. Isn’t this much softer than what Laika was doing?”
You’re getting competitive over this, too?
“Mommy, Falfa wants a little brother or sister. Oh, Shalsha’s my twin, so she doesn’t count.”
“And for Shalsha’s own growth, I would like more opportunities to interact with younger children.”
Waitwaitwaitwait, are they telling me to have kids…? I’m not even married!
Rosalie then floated down to admonish them. “That’s not possible, you two.”
Exactly! You tell them!
“First, she has to search for a suitable partner to court.”
This isn’t a question of procedure!
“Let’s see—of the people I know, there’s Krewed the ghost. Oh, and Balter the vengeful spirit is very handsome, too.”
“Why are you naming dead people?!”
Well, it would be lovely to have more adorable children like Falfa and Shalsha around, but I certainly didn’t have any plans for that. Could there be another child in this world as cute as they were? Probably not.
I started eating the side salad as I thought about all that. Compared to its usual flavor, it was incredibly bitter. Hmm, maybe kids never finished their vegetables because they were more sensitive to bitter tastes than adults.
Then Halkara appeared.
“I’m sorry I’m late!” Her expression was lucid, like she’d been freed from an evil spirit possessing her.
“Oh, did you figure out a way to return me to normal?!”
Halkara then fell to her knees before me and bowed her head.
“I have no idea how to return you to normal; please forgive me!”
“Then why did you look so pleased with yourself?!”
“Once I made up my mind to confess everything and apologize, I felt much better! I don’t have a single hint or the slightest clue of how to fix this! I’m just sorry! So very sorry!”
Apologizing to me isn’t going to solve anything!
“Well, there’s no problem at all, Mistress!” Flatorte crossed her arms, determined. “We can raise you for the next twelve years or so, and then you’ll be back to your original form.”
That’s way too long to solve this problem!
I didn’t have much other choice at this point. We were almost out of options.
“We’ll ask the demons. We helped them search for the undead last time, so they’ll probably lend us a hand. Actually, we’ll force them to.”
I was going to try the spell for summoning Beelzebub, but if my pronunciation was off, I ran the risk of landing her in the bathtub, so after I warmed the bathwater, I went outside and drew a magic circle.
“Lady Azusa, it’s much too dangerous to go out alone this late.”
“I guarantee there won’t be any perverts out here in the highlands.”
It was a huge pain drawing a magic circle. Having a child’s body made drawing certain spots needlessly complicated.
“Vosanosanonnjishidow veiani enlira!”
As I intoned the spell, a black mist appeared around me, but Beelzebub didn’t appear.
Believing all was well, I went back inside. I glanced around, but no Beelzebub.
Was my small frame not enough for the magic…?
Thirty minutes later, Beelzebub, looking warm and refreshed, strolled into the dining room.
“What a lovely bath! ”
“At least tell me you appeared in the bath!”
Us summoning you means it’s an emergency, you know. But I did go out of my way to prepare the bath, so that doesn’t sound very convincing.
“Hmm…? Who are you? You look quite similar to Azusa, though… Don’t tell me you’re her biological daughter…? Oh no, I don’t think I should ask that…”
I could tell she was getting all the wrong ideas again, but considering my form, I couldn’t do much about that…
“No, it’s me. It’s me, Azusa!”
I pointed to my face and claimed my person.
“Oh-ho, I see you have a tradition in your land of naming children after their parents.”
“Noooo, nonono, I’m not Azusa the Second; I’m Azusa the First! Azusa, Witch of the Highlands! I’m all small because of a poisonous mushroom!”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
Beelzebub then suddenly hoisted me into the air.
“What a cuuutie! How adorable you are! This is a dangerous sort of cute!”
“Hey, put me down! Put me down! I hate being treated like a kid, so stop it!”
“And insisting you hate being treated like a kid only makes you a manipulative sort of cute!”
No! I really am still an adult on the inside! “And since we don’t know how to turn me back to normal, I want to borrow the demons’ knowledge and network.”
“I see. So that’s why you summoned me.”
Still aloft, I nodded.
It didn’t seem like my stats had gone down with my size (if they did, then I wouldn’t have succeeded in summoning Beelzebub), so I could probably get out of her grip if I resisted, but I couldn’t help looking helpless. Might as well play the part.
“There is a possibility we may find some information if we searched around Vanzeld Castle.”
“Right! So do something. I can’t stay like this forever!”
“…Would you?”
What’s that supposed to mean?
“It wouldn’t be so terrible to lead a life as the strongest child, would it? I never believed I would ever see this side of you.”
Oh no! She’s trying to keep things as they are!
“You may also become my adopted daughter in lieu of Falfa or Shalsha. You will receive a proper education for gifted children.”
I’m not asking for any of that! “Okay, then I’ll spread the word that the great demon Beelzebub lost to a little girl once.”
“What?! That’s not fair! It’s dirty, I tell you!”
“I’ll play dirty if I have to in order to get back to normal!”
Beelzebub’s face was scrunched up in frustration, but she finally seemed to give in. “Very well. However, I won’t make much progress without you, so I am taking you along with me to Vanzeld Castle.”
“Fine by me. You might have to examine me anyway.”
“And we will bring Shalsha and Falfa along as well.”
“Sure, that’s fine… But why?”
Dead serious, Beelzebub replied:
“Because it makes me happy.”
Afterward, we called on Fatla the leviathan, and in her huge carrier form, she transported my two daughters, Beelzebub, and me to the demon lands.
And while we were on the move, Beelzebub was spoiling me rotten. She gave me all the different kinds of candy and sweets that existed in this world, even a cookie house.
Which, by the way, Beelzebub had forced our skilled chef, Vania, into making. When she brought it over, I could see the exhaustion on her face. “Boss, I’m telling you: The schedule this time is too unreasonable… Aren’t you skipping an important meeting right now…?”
“And thus, I’ve reported that I have an urgent matter I cannot ignore. I’ve done all the paperwork, so there’s no problem.”
“I guess that’s fine… Please enjoy the sweets. I’m especially proud of the pudding I made today.”
It was a firm, springy pudding. I took a spoonful and put it in my mouth. “Mm, it’s so good! I guess my taste buds are more childlike, because it tastes even yummier than usual!”
My daughters seemed to be greatly pleased by it, as well.
“It’s good; it’s soooooo good!”
“Delicious. It’s like I’m dreaming.”
As she watched us, Beelzebub said, “What a lovely sight. The loveliest sight in the world, if I may say so.” Hearing those words in reference to me was pretty unnerving, honestly.
We even took a bath together and all slept side by side in the same bed. There were four of us, so it wasn’t a comfortable fit, though.
I slept with both Falfa and Beelzebub clinging to me, and Shalsha was snuggled right up to Beelzebub, like she was hugging a big tree.
“Ahhh, I’m in heaven! I’m in heaven! It’s like an adorable explosion!”
A demon shouldn’t be yelling about heaven…
In the end, Beelzebub spent our entire time on board (well, on Fatla, not on a battleship or something) fawning over me, and we finally came to the landing spot near Vanzeld Castle.
Just before we landed, Beelzebub was squeezing me tightly as she sat.
“Uh, I’m not a stuffed animal, you know…”
“Landing can be quite rough. I cannot have you swaying about and falling over.”
“It’s not that dangerous. I think you’re already well aware of how strong I am…”
“That’s that. This is different! When we get to the castle, I have a national conference I need to attend, so we’ll be very far apart, but I want you to be a good girl, okay?”
Is this demon seriously going to prioritize me over a national conference?
It would be weird for me to complain since I asked for her help, but wasn’t that just a bad idea?
“Shalsha, Falfa, I trust you two to look after Azusa.”
“Okay! We’ll look after Mommy!”
“We will make sure that she doesn’t eat too much candy.”
The two were answering in earnest. Wait, come on! I might be small, but I’m still your mom!
“Mommy, do you need to go potty?”
“Tell me if you get thirsty. Toddlers are small, so it’s very easy for them to get dehydrated. And slime bodies are made up of ninety-nine percent water.”
I was a total child to them.
And I didn’t know slimes were like jellyfish… They were almost entirely water.
It seemed like when someone became small, they were treated like a kid as a matter of course.
I wasn’t angry or resentful, but there were some things I just didn’t get. Still, if I complained in the body I had now, I could predict that they’d respond to me like I was a whiny child. I was cornered.
“All right! Let’s find a way to turn me back into an adult!”
“You’re so adorable when you act like a grown-up, Azusa!”
“She’s at the age when she wants to deny that she is a child—the first rebellious stage.”
Shalsha, my own child, was even giving a weird analysis of me.
Hey! I’m actually an adult, you know! What’s weird here is your reaction!
But the majority favored their logic, so what could I do?
Falfa and Shalsha took my hands, and we alighted from Fatla.
Beelzebub literally flew off to her conference (like she was putting me first as long as she possibly could), and Fatla and Vania showed us into the castle.
Here we were again at Vanzeld Castle. I was starting to get a feel for where everything was inside.
“First, please head to the castle’s guest room. We’ve already picked up several specialists, so I will introduce you to them.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Even though I was small, Fatla was still treating me as professionally as she always did. Her personality was more obvious at times like these. “Also, please refrain from walking about outside too much.”
“What? Nobody around here is going to eat human children, are they?”
“That is not the case, but…if the demon king finds you, I cannot say that there won’t be unnecessary commotion as a result…” Fatla chose her words carefully until she finally got across what she was trying to say.
“Oh… If Pecora finds me, we’ll definitely have complications…”
I still didn’t know how to handle her very well.
In a word, she was selfish. And she loved practical jokes.
Maybe it was a given for the demon king, but she toyed with everyone around her like it was no big deal. I didn’t want her pushing me around. She was the type to always put her own interests ahead of anyone else’s.
“Vania, just in case, check to see that Her Majesty isn’t in the hallway ahead of us.”
“Yes, understood!”
Vania clomped off in an incredibly awkward fashion. I wasn’t confident that she’d ever get ahead in life. And even if she did succeed, she’d probably cause a scandal and end up demoted…
“I wonder if she’ll ever get rid of those, you know…featherbrained tendencies of hers.” Without her little sister around, the elder sister vented her honest opinion. “I believed for at least a hundred years that she could do anything she put her mind to, but maybe she can’t do anything at all…”
Ohhh. I was an only child, but I understand Fatla’s pain!
After a moment, Vania came back. “It’s all right! I see neither hide nor hair of Her Majesty!”
“Vania, keep your voice down! Someone will hear you!”
After a typical Vania screwup, we walked along briskly. The three strange kids must have stood out, but acting extra suspicious would’ve drawn more attention. We proceeded with no apparent concern.
Then we finally came to the room we were supposed to hide in.
“Phew, guess we made it this far.”
“You don’t stand out at all, Mommy, since you’re so small.”
“They say there used to be scouts who took advantage of their small stature. This is another application of that principle.”
My two daughters seemed awfully crafty.
All right then, time to open the door!
“…Wait, you’re kidding me. I can’t reach…”
The doorknob was much higher than I thought, and I couldn’t turn it!
I jumped, but I still couldn’t get a grip!
“Aha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Vania, it’s rude to laugh. She’s our guest—even if you find it funny, keep it to yourself… Pffffft…”
The leviathans are laughing at me!
Geez, how insulting! But it was true that I was acting funny, so it’d be weird of me to hate them. If I was going to hold a grudge against anyone, it would be the one who created this whole mess—right, Halkara. Dammit, Halkara!
“Okay, Falfa will open it, then!”
Falfa stood on her toes and managed to open the door.
This building doesn’t score well for accessibility. Keep your doors low enough for kids to open.
I proceeded through the door that Falfa opened.
“Sigh, we finally made it!”
“You seem well, Elder Sister. ”
It was the last voice I wanted to hear.
Enjoying tea at the back table was Pecora.
“I’ve been waiting for you. ”
Pecora had found me. She had found me spectacularly.
“He-he-he, I won’t allow you to underestimate the demon king’s power, he-he-he, he-he-he-he!”
Oh geez, she seems like she’s having fun. Way too much fun.
On the other hand, my face was clouded over. She was definitely going to make me her toy…
Not even three seconds passed before Pecora stood and embraced me.
Oh whatever, do what you want. I’m almost used to it.
“Ohhh, I never knew my elder sister could be so adorable. I’m sure you’re relatively powerless when you’re this small, so I suppose I’ll have to look after you for the rest of your life, won’t I?”
I felt a chill. That side of her was the real peril…
“I wouldn’t want to bother you for the rest of my life, so I would like to go back to normal…”
“Awww, what a waste! You should at least stay this way until I grow bored of it.”
Those standards of yours make you a dangerous ruler! Don’t draw the line at where you get bored!
“Indeed, let us ask your family.”
A dark grin crossed Pecora’s face. What a devil she was…
“Little Falfa, little Shalsha, do you think your mommy should stay this way? Or do you want her to go back to normal? You know, I’ll send you as much candy as you want as long as she’s like this.”
“Oh no… What should I say…?”
“These options are extreme. It’s like being confronted with the dilemma of to be or not to be.”
Gah! They’re both being bribed with candy!
“Don’t you want a little sister as cute as this?”
“Yeah, Falfa wants a little sister besides Shalsha! I want a little sister who’s like a little sister!”
That was an awfully candid opinion, but I get it! Shalsha’s not very little sister–like, at all.
“And Shalsha believes that by interacting with a younger sister, I will be educated in good taste.”
Wait, wasn’t it weird for the one getting the education in good taste to use the phrase educated in good taste? You wouldn’t use that phrase if you weren’t already educated!
“Falfa, Shalsha, please help your mommy! She wants to go back to normal!”
“Oh? Is your strategy to use tears to get your way, Elder Sister?”
“Pecora… Don’t cheapen what I’m saying with your mudslinging…”
“I’m the demon king, though. Long ago, people considered me the embodiment of fear itself. ”
Pecora seemed to be having way too much fun. Well, the moment she’d discovered me, I knew things would turn out this way.
Fatla and Vania were also standing frozen in place, looks of guilt on their faces.
“All right, let’s leave the jokes for now, and I’ll suggest a way to restore my elder sister.”
Phew. It sounded like she was going to actually cooperate.
“Thanks. I honestly thought you were going to lock me away…”
“I have a heart, you know,” Pecora objected, puffing out her cheeks.
Then her demons-in-waiting spread out a cloth map before me.
“If it’s detoxification you’re after, then I think you should go to the apothecary at the very top of the World Tree. They say you can get any kind of medicine you want, from any era or any country. I’m certain you’ll be able to remove whatever poison you need.”
The World Tree, huh? It sure sounded like something straight out of a fantasy world, but I’d actually heard of it before.
That being said, its presence was legendary. That’s because it was located in a land far away from where humans lived.
It was relatively far from Vanzeld Castle and the demon lands, even. The tree apparently sat in the middle of a huge forest.
“I guess we have no choice but to go all the way there.”
“More haste, less speed. It’s impossible that you get there and do not see improvements. It’s much better than trying dubious recovery methods, is it not?”
When she said that, I had to give in.
For an example of what she was talking about, in medieval Europe, they did something called phlebotomies, or bloodletting, when someone was sick for a long time. They thought people would get healthy by taking out the bad blood. The point is, that didn’t necessarily heal the body. In most cases, it would just weaken it.
“Fine. Then we’ll head to this World Tree. Could you tell us a bit about its structure?”
“I could never refuse a request of my elder sister’s.”
According to Pecora’s explanation, the inside of the tree was hollow—like a giant building, to put it simply.
She said that different races lived on the different floors. The demographic distribution was about 40 percent demons, 40 percent elves, and 20 percent dwarves.
“Then we just have to keep going up the building, right? Sounds easy enough.”
“But the inside of the World Tree is like a very complicated maze, and they say only a few have reached the top floor. It’s believed that would be the one hundred and eighth floor, even among the residents of the lower floors. There are plenty of areas along the way that are home to ferocious wild beasts.”
Right, so it was like a big dungeon.
“That’s fine. An adventure couldn’t hurt once in a while.”
My powers could probably find a way to take us to the top floor and get the antidote.
“Very well. We’ll have Vania take you to the World Tree.” Pecora smiled.
“Oh, I suppose I’ll have to go… I’ll do it anyway…” She didn’t seem very happy about it…
“I’d be worried about my little sister on her own, so I’ll go along.” Fatla raised her hand. “And as a result of her neglecting her government duties, Lady Beelzebub is very busy and will not be able to join you.”
“Ah, okay… I’m sorry about that.”
Falfa seemed ready to announce she was coming along, but I just appreciated the sentiment.
“There’s probably going to be dangerous spots if you two came along, so I want you to wait here, okay?”
“Indeed. I’m sure Beelzebub would be happy if the two stayed behind. ”
Pecora’s imagination was gross, as was to be expected by now.
At the very least, I was just glad she wasn’t coming along with us to the World Tree…
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