THE PHANTOM THIEF ACTUALLY SHOWED UP
The day noted in the warning was fast approaching.
A change had occurred in Nascúte.
I heard about it from Flatorte, who’d gone to do the shopping that morning.
“Mistress, Nascúte is crazy busy right now. It’s so crowded that I almost thought we were in the capital.”
“What…? Why?”
There were still another five days until Saint Ogachius’s Day, when the phantom thief was supposed to arrive. I hadn’t heard about any festivals happening beforehand.
“What’s happening out there?”
“Why don’t we all go? There’re a bunch of food stalls set up, too.”
When she brought up food, I saw she had some kind of sauce stuck on her face. She must have grabbed a bite to eat before coming back.
“Okay, I’ll go ask the kids if they want to go to the festival.”
In the end, the entire family ended up heading over to witness the strange commotion.
I carried Sandra on my back, since walking quickly tired her out, and held hands with Falfa and Shalsha on either side of me. This was what you called mom-style travel.
Ahead of us, the dragons and Rosalie were pressing forward.
In the distance, I could see there were a lot of people walking in and around the town of Nascúte.
“Falfa can hear all the sounds from here~ Sound carries so far on the wind~”
Indeed, the bustle from town sometimes even reached the highlands, since there were hardly any natural sound barriers up there.
But there weren’t many times of the year that saw this level of bustle, so it was a rare experience.
“Shalsha, there wouldn’t happen to be any kind of unusual celebration that only happens once every hundred years or something, would there?”
Shalsha had a book open as she was walking. It was probably the Nanterre Literary Calendar.
“Shalsha is searching through this book, but nothing matches. This may have occurred suddenly.”
“Then what could it be? The only thing I can think of is the Phantom Thief’s warning.”
“Oh, but, Big Sis, it didn’t suddenly get this crowded overnight. I heard that people have slowly been showing up over the past few days, and it’s only now that things have gotten this big.”
Apparently, Rosalie had been aware of the changes. Were such developments easier for ghosts to detect?
“When people gather, curious ghosts tend to accompany them. The number of ghosts in Nascúte has been climbing, so I figured something was up.”
“So paranormal activity has also increased…”
But it’s true that there probably weren’t any ghosts where people had never set foot before.
As we approached the town, it became even clearer just how lively the place was.
I could see the food stalls all lined up.
“Oh! They’re making candy! Falfa wants some!”
“Shalsha will follow you as your little sister.”
“Go ahead and get some, you two.”
I was thankful that Falfa and Shalsha were able to enjoy themselves. There wasn’t a lot in terms of entertainment around here, after all.
But this wasn’t just a stagnant crowd—there was clearly a flow here.
The majority of the people were making their way in one direction.
At this point, I couldn’t be sure what was going on, but I had a pretty good guess.
“The flow’s headed toward the Halkara Pharmaceuticals Museum, isn’t it?”
“Hey, Azusa? Was that sign there last time?”
Sandra spoke up from her spot on my back.
As soon as she spoke, I spotted a sign that said HALKARA PHARMACEUTICALS MUSEUM: 12-MINUTE WALK.
A bit farther along the way, there was another sign that said HALKARA PHARMACEUTICALS MUSEUM: 11-MINUTE WALK. Did they really need a separate sign for each minute?
“I have a feeling she put this here recently…”
Then, as we followed the flow of people, we came to the front of the museum, where we found a banner hanging on the museum wall with the following message:
“Halkara really is doing everything in her power!”
When I’d heard how lively Nascúte was, I’d had a feeling this was what was happening.
And I was right.
I remembered what Halkara had said.
“I intend to do everything in my power.”
In other words, she intended to use the phantom thief’s threat to advertise her museum and make tons of money!
The museum sat on the outskirts of town, so a lot of the space around it was usually empty. Now that space was filled with stalls. I saw so many businesses riffing on the theme of the phantom thief: There were LOCKS NO PHANTOM CAN GET PAST and PANCAKES SO DRY THEY WILL STEAL THE SPIT FROM YOUR MOUTH.
“Hmm… I have mixed feelings about this, Lady Azusa.” Discomfort was spread across Laika’s face. “This strategy may indeed work to outwit the thief, but my conscience feels otherwise…”
“Yeah, I know how you feel, Laika…”
This wasn’t what I’d meant when I told her to prepare for the thief’s arrival.
“With so many people around, the thief could easily disappear into the crowd. Rather than protecting the items on display, I believe this will have the opposite effect…”
Laika was right on the money.
“We should save our judgment until we see how the shield’s being handled. We came this far, so we may as well go inside and check.”
We had brought our tickets from home, so we all entered the museum together.
It took almost ten minutes to get inside because of how crowded it was. It was rare for a small local museum to get this many visitors.
As I had expected, the excitement was at its highest around the shield, the phantom thief’s target.
The shield was in a different place from before; it had been moved to the middle of a previously unused room.
It sat on a very tall marble pedestal, and the surrounding walls were decorated with the thief’s calling card and information on Marquis Macosia the Sore Loser, who had offered the shield to the goddess.
“I do not think this museum ever had the marquis’s private letters or land ownership certificates, so Halkara must have borrowed them from other institutions. It seems the museum is operating legitimately, at least…”
So concluded Laika, who was apparently very familiar with museum operations.
The expression on her face, however, told me she still didn’t agree with all this.
Not to repeat myself, but I understood how she felt.
“It’s just a thick shield. I don’t really get why everyone’s coming to look at it.”
As I had thought, this was Flatorte’s first time seeing the shield. She really wasn’t interested in this kind of thing.
“I wonder if it would break if I gave it a really hard punch. Perfect thing to test my strength.”
“You absolutely cannot punch it, okay, Flatorte? This is a museum display item, okay?!”
“Mistress, not even Flatorte would do something so unreasonable as fighting with a museum display.”
Right. I guess I was a little on edge.
“I, Flatorte, want to test my strength against that phantom thief!”
“Uh, phantom thieves aren’t really known for their strength…”
“But anyone who can pick that thing up and run away has to have some serious muscle. Not just any person could carry it and fight at the same time.”
Well, I was pretty sure it wasn’t made to be used in actual battle, but…
This was no tiny little ring to steal. How was the phantom thief planning on taking this home, exactly?
It’d be difficult to steal if they weren’t from a species that was confident in their physical prowess, like a dragon.
Could they have some dazzling trick up their sleeve?
We decided to pay a visit to Halkara.
We couldn’t just come out to the museum as a group and not say hello, after all.
We were brought to the museum’s reception room.
“Oh, you’re all here! What do you think? It was definitely worth doing all that advertising! We have thirty times the number of visitors we had when we first opened the special exhibit! This is also doing wonders for Nascúte’s economy, and I even got praise from the mayor!”
“The economic benefits are painfully obvious, but is this doing anything to counter the thief?”
With a crowd this big, I had a feeling the thief would be like, Wow, how lucky! They made it so much easier to get the shield! This was only benefiting our opponent.
“I have that covered as well. I used my sober brain and thought very hard on the matter!”
Then I guess she did have a plan.
Maybe she’d made a replica shield to put in the real shield’s place.
“Even if the shield is stolen, we’ll have recovered the cost and more! It is not a problem at all!”
“I don’t think the director of the museum should be talking like that.”
“No, Madam Teacher, I had some appraisers come by and take a look at only the shield. They valued it at just three hundred thousand gold.”
“Oh… That’s not a lot…”
Of course, it wasn’t right to judge a museum’s items by their monetary value, but it didn’t seem expensive enough to warrant a phantom thief sending out a calling card.
“Considering how cheap that is, it can’t have much artistic value, either. Of course, I would rather it not be stolen, but if it is, then we will cross that bridge when we come to it. In fact, if the thief was to introduce themself, I would almost be tempted to thank them for spreading word about the museum by handing them the shield myself.”
That would just make it a donation!
“You have certainly thought this over, Miss Halkara. If we present the shield to them directly, then it would no longer be theft. You would be spoiling the thief’s very enjoyment in the deed.”
“Laika, I don’t think a witty plan like that would count as a win for us… The thief (or would-be thief) would still end up with the shield…”
“I—I know… But I believe Miss Halkara’s methods are correct, at least in the sense that they would foil the thief’s plans…”
Somehow, this had become a logic problem.
But while I knew we should do our best to stop the criminal, I was starting to wonder if a shield that was only valued at three hundred thousand gold was really worth the effort. Losing it wouldn’t affect the museum’s business at all.
At this point, we might as well consider the phantom thief business settled.
“The day of the theft will be even more exciting! I do hope you come to watch! Will the thief win? Or will my museum prove victorious after I pour all my effort into crime prevention?”
Oh-ho, it sounded like she might actually have something planned for the day of the theft.
But then a different kind of smile spread across her face.
“Regardless, the museum has already secured financial victory. Heh-heh-heh…”
It wasn’t like she was doing anything bad, but I could feel all my concern for her vanish.
After all, Halkara certainly wasn’t worried.
At last, Saint Ogachius’s Day came.
Both Macosia the Sore Loser’s shield and its marble pedestal had been moved outside.
The shield had been placed in a stone chest, and around the chest was a barrier that would shock anyone who touched it without dispelling it first.
Standing around the towering marble pedestal were four massive, brawny men, and standing between them were four renowned mages.
A deep, empty moat had been dug around the men and the mages, wide enough to make jumping over it difficult.
Also, Sandra was paying careful attention to any vibrations in the earth to make sure there was nothing amiss, and to tell us if the enemy was coming.
Flatorte was circling the sky above in her dragon form. That would make it difficult for the thief to get the drop on us from the sky.
We also checked ahead of time to make sure that none of the men or the mages were the thief in disguise.
Beyond the moat was the jam-packed crowd, seated in what were basically bleachers.
A banner hung on the museum wall that read: WELCOME, PHANTOM THIEF CANHEIN.
“Lady Azusa, the countermeasures ended up being quite rigorous, huh?” Laika said, looking up at the pedestal under the shield.
“Yeah. They’ll have earned the right to call themselves a phantom thief if they can manage to steal it in this situation.”
I’d been apprehensive that Halkara was letting her guard down, but I was happy to say I was wrong. To her, the day of the thief’s appearance would be the highlight of the show, so she was putting her all into countering the thief.
“Oh yes, Lady Azusa, you once drew a magic circle that could catch any invading thief, correct?”
That had been around when Laika first arrived. Ah, memories.
“Yeah, I put one at the entrance to town this time. Halkara requested it.”
Halkara was really covering all her bases.
“But that’s really just a bonus thrown in with the rest. There’s a big chance that the phantom thief’s already in town. Besides, that magic reacts to your emotions, and I’d like to think that a phantom thief would have control over their own emotions.”
That magic circle could only trap people who were thinking overtly bad things like, Mua-ha-ha, I am going to steal a wallet today!
If it was any more sensitive than that, it’d be snatching up anyone and everyone who had the tiniest fragment of a bad thought, and that would make it like a mind-reading censorship machine…
At last, Halkara appeared, dressed in her most formal clothes.
“And now, Phantom Thief Canhein, the promised time of sunset is upon us! I have done everything in my power as museum director! It is your turn to show me what you can do!”
That was Halkara’s declaration of war.
The whole area fell quiet.
Everyone was wondering where Phantom Thief Canhein was going to appear.
No one knew when they would show up, of course. It’d be a shame if they missed the whole thing while they were chatting with their neighbors.
Calling it a shame to miss was a little weird, but everyone present was here to see the showdown between the thief and the Halkara Museum’s security system.
At any rate, this had brought a whole lot of money flowing into Nascúte’s economy… Not to mention every inn in the surrounding area had been packed full, even in Flatta.
This thief was practically a golden goose.
However, no one knew if the thief was going to show up in the next five minutes or the next thirty minutes; it’d be hard to sit still and stay quiet the entire time.
And so I decided to lower my voice and start a conversation. “Hey, Laika? Just wondering, but what would you do to get the shield if you were the phantom thief?”
“Interesting question. Personally, I would change into my dragon form, eliminate Flatorte, then fly away with it, stone chest and all.”
“That does sound like the right choice for you, but it probably doesn’t apply to our thief…”
Conventional wisdom wasn’t very useful where a massive dragon was concerned.
But whoever the thief was, they would need some kind of trick up their sleeve in order to successfully steal that shield.
After they jumped across the moat, eight adventurers would be waiting for them. Even if the thief had the strength to defeat all of them, it wouldn’t get any easier. Flatorte was right up there in the sky.
Personally, I would have found the difficulty level a little discouraging.
But phantom thieves were phantom thieves because they stole things under impossible-seeming circumstances.
If they could be blocked by a security system like this, then they weren’t a phantom thief, they were just a forewarning idiot.
*I know you’re supposed to warn ahead of time, but since this thief was nicknamed the Afterwarner, I felt I needed to specify.
Then, just as the tension in the waiting crowd had started to dissipate…
There was movement.
Someone fell—no, jumped down into the moat!
They had long ears, dark skin, and silver hair—a dark elf. And their physique was feminine.
Was that the phantom thief? Wait, there was still no way to tell. It could just as easily be someone who fell into the moat.
But then the dark elf dug some kind of pick-like tool into the earthen wall and started climbing up toward the shield.
I heard someone say, “That has to be the phantom thief!”
Obviously, if a bystander did something like that, they’d be mistaken for the thief and attacked.
This was way beyond the level of a prank, so there was a good chance that this was our thief!
“There they are!” “We’ll beat you back!” “Begin casting!”
The mages stationed around the marble pedestal started to cast their spells.
They pelted the dark elf with fire and wind as she climbed the moat walls.
The whooshing sounds of wind and explosions reached my ears, too.
It didn’t seem like she was going to be able to dodge all that, so this was probably the end.
But she defied the expectations of every single person watching.
“Hah! I can take it! There’s nothing I can’t endure!”
The dark elf kept climbing up the moat! She was in tatters after taking so much damage!
“What? How? Does she have some magical defenses—no, she doesn’t. She’s a wreck…”
“Lady Azusa, she is surpassing all obstacles out of sheer determination!”
I could see the slightest hint of admiration in Laika’s expression.
“What? Can you counter spells or whatever with determination alone?”
“Well, she is making progress right before our eyes…”
I mean, I doubted any of the mages Halkara had hired could use instant death spells, but…that didn’t mean this dark elf wasn’t incredible.
The dark elf in question finally came to stand before the marble pedestal, where the mages and big men were waiting.
“Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Phantom Thief Canhein enters the stage! The shield will be mine!”
She had finally named herself. She was the phantom thief who sent the warning.
“I arrived one week ago, and to be honest, I regretted coming so early!”
I don’t care!
“You there, thief! Sorry, but I’m not goin’ easy on you!”
One of the large men rushed at the dark elf with both arms out to try to catch her.
Right, if she gets caught, then it’s all over.
But the dark elf slipped out of his hands.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha! I have lathered myself in slippery frog mucus!”
Gross!
The people in the audience weren’t shy about their opinions either; I heard some people say “I bet she smells.”
“I do smell! My nose is about to fall off! But I can endure it if I ignore it! Behold my grand, superior perseverance!”
It wasn’t grand at all! She smelled like mud! Or like a frog!
“Yaaah! It’s at the top of this pedestal, isn’t it?!”
Phantom Thief Canhein clung to the marble pedestal.
But there was no place for her to steady her feet, so she immediately slid down.
Spells kept pelting her; fireballs hit her one after the other.
“Ha-ha-ha! That hurts! But I will get through this with my superior perseverance!”
What was up with her?!
The phantom thief leaped at the marble pedestal again.
She immediately slid down.
“This slimy frog mucus is much more slippery than I originally thought! I can’t climb this at all!”
“Foiled by her own ingenuity!”
“Lady Azusa, I don’t think that’s very apt, as she hasn’t shown any ingenuity…”
“You’re right, Laika. Which means…she’s just an idiot.”
Hesitantly, Laika murmured, “Perhaps you’re right.”
Coming here with no chance of winning wasn’t really a display of her superior intellect.
Laika, however, looked more sympathetic than exasperated.
The phantom thief slid down the marble many more times.
Even when she did manage to make a little progress, one of the big adventurers would always peel her down, and then she had to try again.
She failed over and over, more times than I could count.
And yet she continued to fling herself at the marble, desperately trying to reach the chest with the shield in it.
“Th-the treasure will belong to me, Phantom Thief Canhein… I won’t lose; I won’t give in…”
At some point, part of the audience started yelling “You can do it, Phantom Thief!” and “Go for it!”
Some people were being strangely drawn in by the thief’s unyielding determination!
“I know I shouldn’t say this, considering Miss Halkara, but, Lady Azusa…I feel an urge to cheer on the thief, too…”
Laika did strike me as someone who was easily moved by earnest displays of character.
“Halkara won’t be mad if all you do is cheer her on. It should be fine.”
In Halkara’s eyes, the most important thing was to enjoy the show.
She was probably thanking the phantom thief for causing such excitement.
That aside—
“This person isn’t anything like a phantom thief.”
I thought phantom thieves were supposed to surprise you with their unusual methods, but she was just bulldozing her way forward.
“She could at least try to drag the treasure down with one of those ropes with a hook at the end or something… Her methods are way too straightforward…”
“Harrumph! Harrumph! Endure! Endure!”
The dark elf had finally managed to reach the top, where the treasure chest sat.
Coos of admiration came from the crowd.
And the moment she reached out to touch the chest—
The barrier sent electricity through her whole body.
“Byaaaaaaaah!”
Oh yeah. This was over…
“I’m all right! Once I get used to the feeling, I’ll walk away with better blood circulatiooooooon!”
She was planning on pushing through everything with endurance!
The lid on that chest was pretty heavy, so opening it was going to be a challenge, too.
“Hrrrrng! Graaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaargh!”
She was trying to forcibly pull it open with both hands!
I wished she’d try something a little more clever.
“Dammiiiiit! You’re just a box! I can open a boooooooox!”
It was hard to tell if it was her muscles or her blood vessels, but something was straining against the skin all throughout the dark elf’s body. She was clearly using every ounce of her strength. Actually, I hadn’t seen her do anything the easy way yet.
The lid budged slightly.
That must have destroyed the barrier, because the electricity stopped.
She stuck her leg inside.
And of course, it got stuck.
“Owwwwww!”
“Anyone could have seen that coming! Maybe it’s time to give up?!”
“I go through special training like this all the tiiiiime! Don’t try this at hoooooooome!”
“No one will!”
There’s no need for a thief to give the audience safety advice!
But the lid was slightly ajar now that she’d stuck her leg in it, and she was finally able to pry it open the rest of the way.
She then lifted up the shield.
The thick, wall-like shield.
“Huff, huff… Do you see this? I have the shield! Hooray for Phantom Thief Canhein!”
She stumbled when she lifted it up, but she had a firm hold on it.
Laika, Falfa, Shalsha, Sandra with her feet in the ground, Rosalie inside the pillar checking for paranormal interference, Halkara, and I all had our eyes glued to her.
I wasn’t sure why, but I was touched by the sight.
She had emerged victorious from a desperate situation.
But then a large shadow fell over the dark elf.
Large claws clamped down on her shoulders.
It was Flatorte in dragon form.
Oh yeah, Flatorte was up there! I totally forgot…
“Yes, got you! I’m gonna take you somewhere nice and open.”
“Gaaaaaaaaah! Stooooooop! I’m not giving the shield baaaaaaaack!”
“I was enjoying the show from above. But I’ve got a job to do. And I’m not gonna go easy on you, because if you steal the shield, then that means I lose.”
“Hah, fascinating! Give it your best shot! But I’m going to die if I fall from up here, so please don’t drop meeeeeee!”
I would have thought a phantom thief would be fine getting dropped from an insane height, but that didn’t seem to be true for this dark elf.
There was nothing phantom thief–like about anything she did, so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.
Flatorte flew off with the dark elf.
As she vanished into the sky, held in Flatorte’s clutches, some of the audience members started applauding.
“Nicely done!” “Great show!” “But that wasn’t a phantom thief!”
Laika was giving a round of loud applause, too.
“It was clear that this individual had limited skills. And yet she obtained the shield through sincere conviction alone. Determination can truly move mountains.”
“Yeah. I could feel my eyes getting misty when I saw her lift up the shield.”
It was nice to see someone succeed at something.
“—But Flatorte took her away.”
“…That she did.”
I think that meant our thief had failed.
“Hello, esteemed visitors, I am Halkara, museum director. As you can see, we have taken the thief into custody. We will be handling the rest of the proceedings. But I think we can agree she put up quite the fight. To finish us off, why don’t we chant Phantom Thief Canhein’s name to show her our appreciation?”
The audience eagerly jumped on board with Halkara’s considerate (?) suggestion.
Cheers of “Canhein!” “Canhein!” echoed throughout the town as the sky grew dark.
Where was Flatorte taking the thief anyway…?
Flatorte had the phantom thief tied up to a big pine tree that was growing next to the house in the highlands.
This was the tree that had grown rapidly from the sapling Misjantie had given us. Now it served as a landmark for the house in the highlands.
Misjantie the pine spirit had said “Don’t use it to tie up criminals or anything,” but Flatorte had apparently ignored her request.
“Give me three hours, and I’ll break out of this flimsy rope! Hrmph! Hrmph! I will dislocate my own joints! …Ow! Dislocating joints hurts!”
Can’t she think even one step ahead?!
She still hadn’t given up… I didn’t want to keep her tied up to the tree the whole time, but I knew she would try to run if we undid the rope. We needed to get information out of her as soon as possible…
The interrogation—er, the questions, that is, were being asked by our museum director, Halkara.
In a way, she was the only person directly involved in this event.
“I shall go easy on you, Phantom Thief, if you answer me honestly. All right?”
“Of course! I, Phantom Thief Canhein, am an honest person who does not lie! I presently live on the second floor of a four-story apartment situated on the corner of Granite Gargoyle Lane and Falconer Avenue in District Eight of the royal capital!”
She immediately doxed herself!
Halkara wrote down the address and then asked, “First, why did you send the warning? You had never done so before, is that correct?”
“No, I’ve sent warnings before. But usually after I’ve stolen the item.”
I was pretty sure everyone present was thinking, That wouldn’t count as a warning, though.
“I need to subject myself to difficult trials in order to progress to the next step in my life as a phantom thief. That was why I sent out the warning ahead of time, to prevent myself from backing out!”
That seemed like a weird concern for a thief.
No, wait, maybe she had just started at an exceptionally low skill level? I was starting to get confused.
“Next question. Why did you decide to steal such a low-value shield? We own plenty of lighter, more expensive things. This shield is very thick and heavy.”
I was wondering the same thing.
I had no idea why this thief would target Marquis Macosia the Sore Loser’s shield.
“Because I’m collecting things that once belonged to him!”
She was being very eager with her answers, so this interview was probably going to be over soon. However, the mystery was only getting deeper.
“What? Is that a thing people get into? Are you a history nerd?”
The dark elf’s eyes widened. “It is to hide my family’s shame! That is why I chose the life of a phantom thief! I am going to collect all the evidence of his shame and make sure no one else can learn of it!”
Family? She said family, right?
“Marquis Macosia the Sore Loser is my ancestor! His blood runs in my veins, even if it is only a little bit!”
So that was the connection!
Shalsha had a thick history tome open under the moonlight.
“Toiaval the Obstinate, Marquis Macosia the Sore Loser’s son, married a dark elf woman according to this genealogical chart. His family seems to have relocated to dark elf territory after that, so I assume she is their descendent.”
No way! The plot thickens…
Regardless of whether she was actually related to him (every world had people who boasted their ancestors were great people), she believed she was.
“Mommy, this dark elf is a big sore loser.”
Aha! As soon as Falfa said that, everything came together.
“She must have inherited his sore loser gene!”
I bet the marquis himself was something like her when he was alive…
“Very well. I believe you.” Halkara nodded firmly.
“This discussion is over! Send me wherever you will! Even if you put me in the most secure jail, I can dig my way out with a spoon!”
She might really pull that off!
This would-be thief didn’t seem like a bad person, but she certainly wasn’t evil. Maybe that was strange to say.
However, it was true that she had tried to steal something from a museum. Maybe she really should be sent to jail as punishment. I doubted her sentence would be very long anyway.
Then Laika approached, carrying a heavy shield.
Halkara smiled broadly and said:
“Phantom Thief, the museum would like to present you with this shield.”
“Wh-what…? What are you doing?” The phantom thief stared in disbelief.
“It belongs to you, which means this is not theft.”
I had to hand it to Halkara for giving such a messy situation a cool ending.
Doing this would resolve all the loose threads and leave no hard feelings.
“Mrf… O-okay… So you are offering the shield to me, Phantom Thief Canhein? I will graciously receive it. And I will send a thank-you letter in a few days’ time.”
She sure had a strong sense of obligation for a thief!
“Th-then untie me. My arms ache; failing to dislocate my limbs hurt…”
She was trying her hardest, I’d give her that, but she was kind of bad at living…
Halkara and Laika exchanged uncomfortable glances.
“Allow me to speak first,” Laika began. “We have settled the matter regarding the shield by Miss Halkara transferring ownership to you, but you have still committed repeated theft in the past. You must serve your time for what you have done. Now that we have apprehended you, we cannot allow you to escape.”
Oh, right. A phantom thief would necessarily have a criminal history…
“I can tell you do not easily give up. Once your sentence is over, I am certain you will return to society and thrive.”
It was a difficult decision, but I guess there wasn’t much choice…
We’d be committing a crime, too, if we sheltered her.
“In that case, there is no problem. It is true that I have stolen things in the past. But—however! There is no need for me to serve jail time!”
Well, that would certainly be convenient for her!
“Please do not argue with me, Phantom Thief. You have done wrong, and you must be punished appropriately for your crimes. Don’t betray my respect for you.”
Laika had acknowledged the phantom thief’s perseverance, and that was why she didn’t want that faith to be betrayed.
“What are you saying?! It’s the objective truth that I have no need to serve a jail sentence! If you don’t believe me, then ask someone familiar with the law to check!” The phantom thief didn’t sound like she was joking. “All my crimes are beyond the statute of limitations!”
So that’s what she meant!
“I see… If that’s the case, then you are no longer guilty…”
Laika was rather bewildered, too. She didn’t have a lot of experience with such things.
“I take on a new job only once the statute of limitations on my previous theft has run out! Until then, I wait! I am an elf, so I have all the time in the world!”
That was cheap! She was super cheap!
“After I returned the wallet to that old gentleman, I ended up spending a lot of time with him and his family!”
“That just makes you a nice person who returned a wallet! I’m sure that’s how the family saw it!”
When I went to check in with Natalie at the guild afterward, I learned that everything had been as Canhein had said: All her crimes were past their statutes of limitation.
There really were all kinds of people living all kinds of lives in this world.
A little while later, Phantom Thief Canhein was working in the house in the highlands.
She tilled our fields. We had a vegetable garden at the house, and that’s where she did her tilling.
It wasn’t like I was forcing her to work, though.
As Canhein herself said: “Any goodwill given must be repaid. That is what makes us human.”
I did think that her going around thieving made her a bad person, but there were plenty of thieves out there who were treated as heroes, so both things could be true.
To tell the truth, our two dragons could till the fields in the blink of an eye, but I wanted to respect Canhein’s eagerness.
Laika, too, had something to gain from watching Canhein working so absurdly hard—she was inspired.
“Till! Till! Till! I must not imagine how nicely the vegetables will grow while I’m tilling! Calculations will only bring betrayal! The most important thing is to till when tilling is needed!”
“Indeed! You are not truly training if you are thinking only of the results!”
Honestly, Canhein’s way of life was so extreme that I couldn’t imagine telling anyone to follow in her footsteps, but I couldn’t deny that she was earnest.
It was a sunny morning.
Canhein had packed her things and was ready to leave the house in the highlands.
“Please, Miss Canhein, give up on your evil deeds and live an honest life.” Once again, Laika handed over the shield to her.
“I don’t think I can. I wish to inspire children through my work as a phantom thief.”
That was quite an aspiration…
If she really wanted to inspire kids, I felt like she would need some more impressive skills. It was hard to be inspired by someone crawling through the dirt, covered in frog slime.
“The next time we meet, I will be such a dashing phantom thief that I will steal all your hearts!”
Now she was resorting to clichés…
“Phantom Thief, I believe the museum could purchase all the Marquis Sore Loser’s related artifacts and documents using our item acquisition budget, if you would like. We have earned more than enough money from your exploits to make up for it.”
Halkara had achieved an overwhelming victory in financial terms. She was easily the biggest victor here.
“That would take away the guiding goal of my life, but I appreciate the sentiment! I wish to win them all back with my hard work alone!”
“You are drunk on your own ideals, Phantom Thief. But being drunk is fun, isn’t it? It’s hard to stop. Heh-heh-heh!”
That was a really gross laugh coming from Halkara.
“Fare thee well!” Canhein waved.
We waved back to the phantom thief.
Falfa and Shalsha were moving their arms enthusiastically. “Bye!” “Safe travels.”
“Agh! I waved so much I dislocated my shoulder!”
That must be from when she tried to free herself from the rope before…
A little while later, a crate filled with an assortment of dried fruits arrived from Canhein.
The card that came with it read:
“She really is a good person with a strong sense of obligation.”
From this incident, I learned that there really are all kinds of people living all kinds of lives in this world.
The End
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