WE JOINED A POST TOWN RELAY RACE (DAY ONE)
I woke up a little earlier than usual one morning, so I left the house in the highlands and took a little walk around the area.
“Ahhh~ No matter how long I live, the mornings here will always be so refreshing~”
Since this was the highlands, it was cool in the mornings. On top of that, it wasn’t humid or anything, so I could really clear my head.
As I walked, I saw a couple of figures running toward me—Laika and Flatorte.
From the way they were running, they appeared to be just doing some exercise.
“Good morning, Lady Azusa. Out for a walk?”
“Good morning, Mistress!”
They both called out to me. Both of their faces were nice and red.
“Morning, you two. You must really be eager to be running this early in the morning.”
“Yes, it feels good to exercise at this hour.” Laika, ever the teacher’s pet.
“Getting my body moving helps with stress, so I just kind of follow Laika.” Doing things without a real reason was on brand for Flatorte…
“Take it easy, then. Well, I don’t think a jog would knock either of you out, though.”
“Yes, we take it in moderation and usually stop at around twenty gilro.”
“That is far!”
So they’ve run at least twenty gilro…but I guess that’s normal for a dragon.
Then, I heard flapping wings from the sky.
It was a wyvern with a sign around its neck that read NIGHT ROUTE.
Without a doubt, someone was coming to visit me…
When I got back to the house, I found Vania standing in front of the wyvern.
“Oh, good morning. I was sent this way because Her Majesty has something of a proposal for you.”
“You can fly, but you came here on a wyvern.”
“If the trip is too long, then I end up falling. I’ve found myself in some of the strangest places.”
A leviathan falling asleep in the sky could cause a huge disaster, so it was better she didn’t do that.
“So what is it she wants to propose?” Laika asked.
Right as she did, Vania’s stomach growled.
“I’m sorry, I came here overnight, so would you mind if I told you over breakfast? If you have the ingredients, I’ll make it.”
Vania was a great cook, so I’d appreciate it.
“Sure. Go on, then!”
Halkara was supposed to be in charge of food today, but we let Vania take over.
“These seasonings should be enough for a salad dressing~ Here we go!”
The sounds coming from the kitchen were light and jaunty, and all the noises told me a professional was at work.
A breakfast that was three times more luxurious than normal sat on the table. The bowl of salad, too, was arranged to resemble a flower.
“The early bird really does get the worm…,” I commented, remembering an idiom from long ago.
“I only had so many ingredients, so it isn’t anything special. Go ahead and eat up.”
Falfa and Shalsha immediately bit into slices of bread that had been soaked in egg and then fried.
“So soft and fluffy~ It’s like a cake~”
“Superb. Health begins with the body. This is the source of life.”
Vania’s cooking skills were truly the real thing. I almost wanted to take lessons from her, at least once.
And about why she came—
Vania dozed off in her seat.
“You’re just going straight to sleep?!”
“Yaaawn… Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well taking the night wyvern here. The wind was in my face the whole time…”
I understood how she felt, but I couldn’t relax until I knew why she was here. Couldn’t she give me a one- or two-word summary before she fell asleep?
“This is a demon affair, so I don’t think you’ll be very familiar with it. I’ll backtrack a bit and start my story there. Very soon, in the demon world, it’ll be the new year in the old-old-old calendar.”
“So just a regular weekday…”
“Every year, on the old-old-old new year, we have a custom we all partake in. It’s called the Post Town Relay Race.”
That reminded me of something from my old life, so I raised my hand.
“What is it, Miss Azusa? I haven’t said anything yet to warrant any commentary.”
“This is all just a guess, but is it that thing where people from different universities race against one another? You run and then pass the baton to the next person on your team?”
From the name and the fact that it was done during the new year, I was imagining Japan’s relay races.
One of the biggest races started on day one in Tokyo, then stopped at Hakone, which was a checkpoint back in the Edo period. Then day two went backward from there, and people raced to be first.
Vania’s eyes widened in shock. “Yes, that’s it! You know very well! You practically described it!”
I knew I’d be close!
“Runners from universities that made it through the preliminaries wear a thick belt over their shoulders. We start at Vanzeld Castle, pass through towns that were once old post towns, and finish at the Wall of Sorrows checkpoint in the west. This checkpoint is most well-known for the soul-crushing hill there. The return journey is the same route but in reverse.”
I always wondered why such similar sports came about…
“Falfa’s read about the Post Town Relay Race before~ The demons come out to the edge of the course and cheer on the runners~,” Falfa chirped, raising her hand.
“Only a portion of demon universities participate, but Shalsha hears they compete fiercely every year. Shalsha is not a university student, so it doesn’t concern me all that much, but it would be nice to see it once.”
Shalsha was aware of it, too. They got lots of books from Beelzebub, so they probably knew about the demons’ yearly events.
“Yeah. I’d love to watch,” I added.
“Oh, I wouldn’t have come out all this way if you were invited to just watch. I am Her Majesty’s special envoy, you know. Well, I’m pretty sure she chose you because she knows you, and that makes it easy for her to use you…”
What? So if we’re not watching, then…
“Her Majesty has asked if you would like to join the Post Town Relay Race as a team.”
She was asking us to compete!
But I wasn’t the first one to comment on it—although when Shalsha raised her hand, she was pointing out that it was a strange choice.
“Yes, what is it, Shalsha?”
“The only ones who can participate in the Post Town Relay Race are university students. There are no university students in the house in the highlands. Therefore, no one is qualified to participate.”
A very reasonable statement. We shouldn’t be joining in on a sport meant for university students.
“Of course, you don’t have any qualifications to participate, and all the spots were filled. But all the runners from one single university that passed the qualifying rounds were discovered to all be using illegal substances, so every runner from that university was dropped from the race.”
Too real!
“So at first, they were going to bring up the university with the best score out of the ones that failed the qualifiers, but the university club had already planned their pity trip for that day, so they were unable to join.”
“They’d rather go on their trip than actually participate?!”
I was starting to think people didn’t really care about competing in the race…
“So they tapped the second-best university of the ones that failed, but they discovered illegal substance use there, too…”
People would really do anything to win, huh?
“They reached out to the next-best after that, but that was about when they had discovered drug use in one of the universities bumped up to the main event, so it would not be easy for them to select and train runners at such short notice. Even if they were to participate, they still failed the qualifying rounds, so they were unable to produce favorable scores.”
I could understand the situation. I had a feeling the university that prioritized their trip probably had something similar going on. It would be embarrassing to participate in the race and lose spectacularly after having stopped training for a while.
“I get that there’s an open spot now, but do they take groups that aren’t affiliated with any university at all? It’d probably be even better to just recruit from a human university at that point.”
I didn’t know a whole lot about relay races, much less about the tone of this relay, but I was pretty sure it was an interesting and exciting event because university students participated.
“It’s not a problem. Please wait a moment.” Vania pulled out several sheets of thick parchment. “This is for you, Miss Azusa. Here.”
This is what it said:
“She made up her own university!”
How much heavy lifting did she have to do? But honestly, if this was allowed, then why bother pretending we were university students at all…?
Vania then produced what looked like a student card. “Here is your student ID.”
“She even made IDs…”
“You can use student discounts as well.”
“I’m not really planning on doing that, though. I’m not exactly keen on that idea…”
Proclaiming that I was a part of a university that I hadn’t even consciously entered, much less studied for or taken exams, was—how should I put this…? Messed up.
But not everyone reacted the same way as me.
“Yaaay! University! Falfa is a college student now!” Falfa raised both of her hands and hopped in place, showing her joy with her whole body.
Oh yeah, she wanted to do some specialized research at a university once.
Human universities were way too far to attend from the house in the highlands. It was a chance to experience campus living, but due to their childlike appearances, they’d opted to stay at home with everyone else.
“Sis, you mustn’t get too excited. You may have been admitted, but that is not your goal. It is your starting point. What you decide to do after admission is meaningful.”
Shalsha was cautioning Falfa, but she didn’t deny the fact that they’d entered university at all, so I guess she was happy about it.
Should I really send them to a boardinghouse so they can attend classes…? No, we’ll live together until they ask about it themselves! I want to live with them!
Rosalie was part of the happy crew, too. “I didn’t know I could be a college student after death. It’s like I skipped a grade or two, huh?”
Definitely not. There was definitely no system in place that let people who died as middle schoolers become university students…
More of us were happy about this than I thought, but the rest of the family seemed disinterested at best.
“I’m already a university graduate. I was a part of the College of Pharmacy at Elf Forest University.”
Halkara had already graduated—I didn’t know the elves even had college.
“This is the first time I’ve heard about your higher education, Halkara.”
“I cannot say I have very good memories of all the encounters I had with poison mushrooms for my graduate thesis. I don’t want to think about it, so I didn’t mention it.”
Don’t tell me she put herself through all that just to get the knowledge she has now about mushrooms…?
“College kids are rowdy every day late into the night, right? Blue dragons do that all the time, even before getting into school. That’s why they’re nothing to me.” Flatorte’s image of university students was warped…
I knew there were university students who partied all the time, but…they weren’t the kind to participate in relay races…
“Even if you don’t choose to participate in the relay, you are still free to use your rights as a university student. You are welcome to enjoy being a student.”
“This school doesn’t even exist. It’s kind of hard to enjoy much about that.”
“One thing I want you all to be aware of is that when DKRBPU closes, you will automatically lose these rights.”
Don’t abbreviate the school name like it’s been around forever.
“Now, if you are feeling up to it, we graciously ask you to participate. It’d be a nice sweat to break, no? I guarantee it will be a lifelong memory!”
I feel like the people who genuinely practiced for this race would beat me up if I told them I was doing it for the fun experience.
The very reasonable Laika had the same view. “Um, would it not be rude to those who genuinely trained for the race if we joined?”
Yeah, that’s what was bothering me. I wasn’t up for inviting any enmity.
“Well…I’d love to say you’ll be all right, but I cannot guarantee the others will feel the same way.”
An honest and sincere answer!
Vania definitely couldn’t declare that it was no problem at all. All she could say was that she didn’t know how others would respond. As the messenger who was asking us to participate, I wasn’t sure if she should be so wishy-washy, though.
“But we have sent out a notification to all participating universities that this one time will be an exception. And the relay fans know that one group is missing from the bunch, so it should be all right.”
It wasn’t like any of the other universities were going to lose their spot just because we were participating.
“So who among you will be entering?”
First, I needed to see what the rest of the family thought. This whole plan would be dead in the water if no one wanted to run.
Laika immediately raised her hand. “I hope to show off what I’ve accomplished with my jogging!”
She had been training, of course.
Flatorte stood up, too. “If Laika is running, then I, the great Flatorte, have no choice but to run as well. I will not lose to her.”
I appreciated the enthusiasm, but this was a relay race. We wouldn’t be competing against each other.
“Yes, let us work hard together.”
Laika took it positively. She was the cool type in gym class. I bet she was popular at her dragon academy…
Those two, at the very least, were eager to enter, and I respected their will to join.
“Then I guess I’ll join in…since it’s just running anyway.”
I wanted to show some appreciation for all the hard work Pecora had done, even inventing a university (but since she used her authority as demon king to do it, maybe it was technically an actual school). And if I ignored the invitation, she would probably pout…
But there was still one other problem.
“I’m not sure how many people you need, but three definitely isn’t enough.”
And even if the whole family participated in the big race in Japan, we still wouldn’t be enough.
“We can manage on that account. Her Majesty will do something about it, regardless. All right, so the three of you. We still have more spaces open, so if you know anyone else who would like to join, then contact me as soon as you can.”
“Okay, got it.”
I could ask Momma Yufufu and the other spirits, plus Godly Godness and Wynona and stuff. Muu and the gang didn’t have bodies (or else the ones they had were too fragile), so they were out.
“If you don’t find enough, then we will find people to make DKRBPU students and have them join!”
“Seriously, you don’t have to give it an abbreviation.”
“All right, I’ve told you all I need to—Yaaaaaawn.” Vania gave a big yawn. “Sorry, would you mind if I borrowed an empty room to sleep in?”
“Sure, sleep all you like…”
Vania slept until after noon, then slowly flapped away in her leviathan form.
Starting that day, Laika and Flatorte began training much more seriously. So healthy and full of life.
I generally kept a loose eye on them. As I hung up the laundry, I watched them run. I was basically the mom in this situation.
That’s right, I haven’t even asked about the rules of the race itself.
I’d given my okay, thinking it would be like any other relay race, but I wondered if that was all it was going to be. I wanted to believe that it was just going to be running and nothing dangerous.
And I was also just curious—how fast was fast here?
Obviously, I hadn’t entered any short-distance runs or marathons in this world. I’d never even heard of such events, either.
I doubted I’d lose any fight against monsters, but I wasn’t sure what kinds of skills I needed in a race of pure running speed. I had no idea.
This Post Town Relay Race was probably the perfect chance to find out.
Afterward, I reached out to all my friendly contacts who could possibly participate. In the end, our whole squad looked something like this:
THE DEMON KING’S ROYAL BOUNTY PROVISIONAL UNIVERSITY
Day 1: Leg 1 Fighsly
Day 1: Leg 2 Momma Yufufu
Day 1: Leg 3 Godly Godness
Day 1: Leg 4 Wynona
Day 1: Leg 5 Laika
Day 2: Leg 1 Flatorte
Day 2: Leg 2 Misjantie
Day 2: Leg 3 Vania
Day 2: Leg 4 Beelzebub
Day 2: Leg 5 Me (Azusa)
Afterward, Vania didn’t seem too happy. “Why do I have to run, too…?” I had a feeling that she was being forced into it because she was originally involved, even though she was just a messenger.
On the day of the race, we all gathered under a tent.
All of us had numbers that noted our name, university, and section we had to run. We didn’t have a uniform or anything.
Beelzebub poked me. “Come now, you are our representative of sorts. Say something.”
I guess I was the one who brought us all together, so I had no choice.
“Uhhh, well, I’m both surprised and glad you all came. I have absolutely no idea how we’ll do, but let’s have fun doing this.”
Immediate applause broke out from someone who was not on our team—Pecora.
“Why are you here, Pecora…?”
“Because I am, on paper at least, the president of the Demon King’s Royal Bounty Provisional University.”
Well, it would be impressive if someone came up with that name without Pecora’s permission.
“I am so terribly excited to see how everyone, including you, Elder Sister, will display their passion for the race! This sport comes with laughter, tears, blood, explosions, and so much more—”
“Wait, wait, wait!”
She’s not gonna slip that by me!
“Oh, are you surprised to hear about the laughter?”
Technically, but that’s not really what I’m worried about.
“Why are we going to be bleeding? There’s explosions? Is this really that dangerous?”
This wasn’t the kind of relay race I knew! We weren’t supposed to be running through minefields!
“And no one’s told me anything about the rules, even though it’s the day of the race. Isn’t that weird?”
Misjantie looked a little pale in the face, and I’m sure I did, too. That was the sane reaction to all this.
“There is no need to worry. Much. We’ve banned all attacks both unarmed and using handheld weapons for this event.”
“Yeah, this is way different from what I’m familiar with!”
Pretty sure there was no attacking in Japan’s relay races.
“About ten years ago, they banned all use of hands. In the past, many universities placed those who were fast yet had more confidence in their arm strength at the beginning to cause other schools to drop out along the way, but too much of that created quite a dull competition,” Beelzebub explained calmly, although that calmness really made it even scarier.
“If I may repeat myself, it truly is all right. If you and your friends were going to be in any danger, then I would personally advise you to resign,” Pecora said.
I had no choice but to trust her. But I guess I had blood and explosions to look forward to…
“The rules are simple—hand off the team belt to the next person. Additionally, if you fall too far behind the first-place team, you will be given a pity head start. I doubt that will be a problem for this team, but please be aware of this.”
Finally, we knew what the rules were. But it was hard to say she was taking this very seriously.
“Here is the belt.” Pecora pulled out a belt that was super thick and almost looked like a wrestling champion’s belt.
“Why didn’t you pick something lighter…?”
“Because it’s fun to watch people running through the mountain paths with this wrapped around their shoulders. ” Pecora beamed.
I think I wasn’t taking the demons’ relay races seriously enough…
“Oh, I believe our leg-one people need to get ready soon. Best of luck, Fighsly.”
“Thank you! I’ll do my best!” Fighsly marched toward the starting line.
Now that the event was here, I was way more nervous than I thought, but I couldn’t turn back now…
Fighsly aside, all the other day-one runners went to the places where they were to receive the belts.
All of us who were running the route on day two—Flatorte, Misjantie, Vania, Beelzebub, and I—hopped onto a carriage.
It was called the escort carriage, and its purpose was apparently to follow after the teams.
“Using the carriage to ram the runners from behind was banned thirty years ago, so it serves no technical purpose. Relax and enjoy the ride. There are no metal spikes on it.”
“I actually want to know why it was okay more than thirty years ago.”
I had a feeling that the violence was due to just how hardy demons were.
“Those from the universities who couldn’t run still wanted to participate, no? They were allowed to drive the escort carriage and run over the enemy teams. There was quite a lot of opportunity for them to do so.”
“Good thing they got rid of that…”
From where the carriage was parked, we could see the first runners. It was still super hard to tell if the demons there were young or if they were older. Especially the more beastlike ones. “Young” college students could still be two hundred or two hundred and fifty years old…
On the outside, there were a whole bunch of people standing around, either to cheer on friends or to watch. Some of them were waving banners, and others looked like substitute runners. From the way they were cheering “You can do it!” I was probably right.
This part wasn’t all that much different from Japan.
“I’ve heard Fighsly has been quite enthusiastic about this. She was even training for the event,” Vania informed me.
We hadn’t done any practice together as a team. We all lived in different places, so it wasn’t easy to get together. I was a little scared because the other universities would probably think our lack of practice meant that we weren’t taking this seriously, and that would annoy anyone.
“And why, exactly, is she so enthused? No one will be winning any money in this. ’Tis a university event, after all.”
That was mean of Beelzebub to say…
“Maybe she has goals outside of money sometimes?”
“Inconceivable. Which is why I find this so strange.”
She had no trust in Fighsly—but a lot of that was Fighsly’s own fault.
Still, we weren’t the only ones cheering her on.
There were demons standing on the roadside holding some slimes.
“Are those Free Tuition 1, 2, 3, and 4?!”
Fighsly had met some wild slimes that took a liking to her, and now she was keeping them as pets. She apparently had no idea what slimes were thinking, but I think they were genuinely attached to her.
The demons holding the slimes were also wearing shirts that read FIGHSLY GYM, so there was no doubt they were here to support her. Must be her students.
“Ah, and despite what one may think, she is still an instructor. I am glad to see her students are here to support her.”
“I’m starting to get really excited.”
Fighsly had really grown. I wanted her to keep working hard for her gym.
It was almost time for the race to start. Fighsly was stretching her legs, wearing a number that read DKRBPU LEG 1.
The tension in the crowd was starting to heighten, too.
A demon staff member yelled, “On your marks!”
All the runners crouched down in their ready positions.
Then came an explosive bang! And all the runners took off.
“Huh? You have pistols in this world…?”
“What? ’Tis a small explosive spell for signal use.”
That was similar, too…
Our escort carriage slowly rumbled into motion. The driver was one specialized for this. Instead of a horse, some kind of monster was drawing it—I think it was a behemoth.
“Go, Fighsly! Get ’em!”
“Come on! Let’s go!”
Flatorte and Misjantie were cheering her on. Even though our team had been thrown together in a rush, we were still supporting one another.
The cheers must have reached her, because Fighsly came to the front pretty quickly.
“I wonder if she is hoping to break away right at the start. A bold attempt when she is racing against students who have been training for this,” Vania said curiously.
I had to agree with her. She was an amateur when it came to pure running, so it was hard to imagine that she’d shoot for the moon.
A good majority of the university students were still bunched together, testing the waters.
“’Tis quite risky to try and claim first so early on. The air resistance at the front means one must expend greater strength. I suppose she decided that she must be at the front, even if it means fighting harder.”
Even though Fighsly wasn’t a professional runner, she was a professional fighter. Maybe there was a specific way of tackling this for more competitive types.
We could only see Fighsly’s back from the escort carriage, but I could feel the enthusiasm oozing off her.
She steadily increased her pace and had practically broken away from the crowd.
From the side of the road, I could hear comments of equal admiration and apprehension: “DKRBPU is amazing!” “Can they hold that pace until the end…?”
“They’re right. I hope that early lead doesn’t come back to bite her… Nothing for it but to wait and see.”
I’d think that usually, the team would decide how each runner would run their section together, but DKRBPU didn’t have a supervisor. Thus, no strategy.
We did need a supervisor on paper, though, so Pecora had taken that role.
Fighsly glanced behind her quickly.
She was checking to see if she’d put enough space between her and the rest of the crowd.
Then I saw her doing something with her hands—was she reaching for her back pocket?
She took out a small, folded something.
What is it? I wondered as she unfolded it. A new number for her jersey?
Whatever it was, she placed it on top of her old number. Like I thought, it was a new one. Wait, what the heck…?
This is what it read:
“It’s an advertisement!”
She was doing things for the benefit of her company again…
“Being at the front is her advertisement, so that the others may see her well. That was her strategy first and foremost.”
I wished that she’d think first and foremost of winning now that she was a part of the competition.
“Can she do that? Like, according to the rules? We aren’t going to be disqualified or anything, are we?”
Even though our team was thrown together in a rush, I’d still be angry at her for that.
“No need to worry,” Vania said as she flipped through what looked like a rule book. “It’s against the rules to take off your number, but since she’s simply placed something else over it, she’s safe.”
“She knows what she’s doing!”
That seemed even worse.
And I had no doubt in my mind that we were in for another weird adventure.
Fighsly did a full one-eighty and started running backward.
Now we could see her face. Wait, no, that’s not a good thing!
“Fighsly Gym! We are Fighsly Gym! Train your body, mind, and wallet at Fighsly Gym! We are currently offering a free week trial!”
“Don’t yell ads at people! Concentrate on running!”
I really wished she wouldn’t put herself at a disadvantage while she was going so fast.
“Thank you for your encouragement from the escort carriage, Azusa!”
“No! I’m not encouraging you!”
She wasn’t listening to me at all!
“Anyone who mentions seeing Fighsly running the relay will get a five-thousand-koinne discount when you join!” she yelled. “Let’s sweat together!”
Forget the sweat, face forward, and run!
Now that she was suddenly facing backward, one runner after the other started rushing past her. She’d also burned all her energy on that early start.
“Come on! Run!”
“This is bad! If Fighsly drops out on her turn, then we’re done on the first day! It’ll be over before I, Flatorte, get my chance to fight!”
Maybe I’d made a big mistake in choosing Fighsly…? I had no idea she’d try to advertise the gym she ran while she was running.
“Oh, ’tis well enough. There is no money in this, after all. Participation is its own reward, et cetera.”
“You’re right, Lady Beelzebub. We all win when all the race slots are filled.”
The bureaucrats from the agricultural ministry were particularly unenthusiastic. Too unenthusiastic, in fact.
“Don’t act like people are stupid for taking this seriously.”
“Indeed, perhaps I went too far… I spent much of my life lazing around at home on the weekends, so I have no love for sports…”
I really wonder what Beelzebub used to be like?
“Perhaps losing ground there was the proper strategy. Well, I suppose it isn’t, but falling behind due to her advertising should not cause us much damage.”
“What do you mean?” I didn’t really understand what Beelzebub was trying to say.
“Look ahead. ’Tis quite the cutthroat competition up top.”
The road was very straight, so we could see the front-runners. Every demon was desperate to get ahead.
Then, a minotaur leaped forward and stuck out his left foot. It caught a lycanthrope runner, who tumbled to the ground!
“What? That wasn’t an accident. He did that on purpose, didn’t he? He stuck it out right in front of that lycanthrope…”
“Of course it was intentional. These things are legal.”
“What…? They are…? It’s not against the rules…?”
“You cannot use your hands, but anyone is free to use their legs. Tripping another is within the legal realm. I’d even say that these tactics are precisely what makes this competition so exciting.”
“Boy, they rarely do it this early~ Oh, Miss Azusa, look! The lycanthrope is angry. They’re kicking the minotaur from behind!”
Things were unfolding exactly as Vania said. A scuffle broke out right before our very eyes…
“They’re really doing everything that isn’t explicitly banned by the rules. What excellent sportsmanship~”
“How the heck is that sportsmanship?!”
While the group at the front tried to get at one another with their feet, Fighsly was now catching up.
I see… So if she falls behind, then she isn’t in danger of getting attacked.
“In Fighsly-style slime fist, one does not attack another if they stand to gain nothing by doing so. That is why I didn’t even hurt a single person in the Post Town Relay! I hope you got a glimpse of my fantastic martial arts spirit!”
“You make it sound like an inspiring story, but you’re basically just saying you’ll beat anyone up to make a quick buck!”
Fighsly ultimately finished tenth out of twenty teams and handed off the belt to our next runner, Momma Yufufu.
“This belt is very heavy, Miss Yufufu!”
“It’s all right. I always make sure to walk for at least thirty minutes a day~”
Momma Yufufu, that’s not what people who enter these races say…
But whatever. The truth was that it was significant enough to participate…
Fighsly was exhausted, of course, so when she climbed into the escort carriage, she leaned back and looked up to the ceiling. “Ahhh, that was rough… I yelled too much for my advertisements…”
“I’m going to ignore that. Anyway, I think it’s pretty amazing that you managed to pass the belt right in the middle of the standings.”
Everyone else was a relay pro, after all. It seemed fighters had their own reserves of strength.
“Huff, huff… You may be right. I didn’t want to annoy the team too much by advertising, but I feel better having accomplished my mission.”
“If you were worried, then you shouldn’t have advertised.”
Afterward, Misjantie asked Fighsly for marketing tips.
I guess Misjantie decided she was going to pull something similar during her leg tomorrow… Not sure if she’d get much return from advertising a faith mostly found in the human lands.
Right, time to concentrate on Momma Yufufu. If she reminded me of anyone, it was someone who had just taken up jogging as part of a weight loss program. To put it less kindly, she wasn’t very fast.
And her boobs practically had a mind of their own. They were really getting in her way…
“Look at all those sweat drops. I guess she is the droplet spirit, huh?”
That’s one thing to focus on, Flatorte.
I had a feeling we were going to fall far behind on Momma Yufufu’s turn…
But instead, she passed one runner who was on the ground, cradling his knee.
“Ahhh, I see that one got a good kick. He’s done in this race. I suppose Misty Mountains Liberal Arts College will not be finishing.”
“There is no honor in this competition…”
“Last year, Dabnen from Torture Hall University took down four people with his kicks and set a new record for the second leg. He should be running again this year, so he will be beating up quite a lot.”
“What happened to beating the clock?!”
I had a feeling that the belt would never make it to me, the last runner on day two…
But it was true that there was a tough fight going on at the front, because Momma Yufufu passed another two fallen runners.
“Oh, I see the front group now. There’s Dabnen from Torture Hall U, Rendazeel from Watchtower University, and Tonteland from Vampire Herb Admiration College, all kicking one another!”
None of those school names made me want to study there…
Again, since the people at the front weren’t really running properly, the back end was starting to catch up. It was starting to look like you could still accomplish a lot in this relay, even if you weren’t particularly fast.
But this brought on a new problem.
“If they keep knocking each other out, Momma Yufufu’s going to be the next target… I hope she’ll be okay…”
I didn’t think this was going to be a very dangerous event, so I hadn’t told her she might be attacked.
“If I make it through this, then I’ll eat three cakes as a treat to myself. One, two, one, two!”
Momma Yufufu was eager to eat…
But the runner Dabnen had realized Momma Yufufu was starting to catch up. He was glancing over his shoulder at her.
“Oh no! He’s going to attack her!”
Dabnen deliberately slowed down to close the gap between him and her. This was bad!
“Oh? Do you need something?” Momma Yufufu tilted her head and asked. “If there’s something you want to say, then you can tell me, okay? ” She smiled.
Dabnen muttered, “O-oh, okay…Mom…,” then turned and ran off ahead.
“Oh! Dabnen is blushing! Miss Yufufu’s matronliness made him shy! Do jocks really miss their mothers?! He even called her Mom!”
Vania sounded like an idiot, but she was correct.
Momma Yufufu survived the danger with her Mom Vibes!
“Dabnen does indeed respect sportsmanship. I suppose he was ashamed to strike a woman. Or kick her, rather.”
I could agree, but really, we shouldn’t be attacking anybody.
“Wow, you’re all so fast~ But Momma’s not losing today~”
The other runners seemed somewhat bashful in her presence, too. They stopped attacking one another and concentrated on running.
“Oh, Miss Yufufu has caused them all to start running seriously. The entire race has changed!”
“So they’re not seriously running most of the time…?”
There was something misleading about Vania’s statement.
“The most important thing in the relay race is to practice your foot technique, not so much your running. Training focuses more on building the ability to handle kicks and attempts to trip you.”
If she had known it was going to be like this, then I wished she hadn’t come to ask us to take part.
Momma Yufufu ran through the entirety of leg two at her own pace. Personally, I was most glad that she came out of it unscathed.
Momma Yufufu then handed off the belt to our third runner, Godly Godness.
“Here you go, Your Divinity.”
“I’ve got it! I will be sure to give you a virtue stamp card later!”
Is she here to run or to proselytize…?
When she got the belt, we were at eighth place overall. Four teams had dropped out in leg two, so we were down to sixteen. That was a big proportion to have fallen out of the race already.
We took Momma Yufufu aboard the escort carriage and set off again.
“Azusa. Is this goddess any good at running?” Beelzebub asked.
Right, I guess no one else knows much about her.
“Not entirely sure. Actually, she offered to join in the race.”
To be precise, she’d appeared to me in a dream and told me she was joining. These gods could suddenly appear in my dreams if they wanted. I didn’t have any reason to refuse her, so I agreed.
“Hmm. She is the dark horse here, I would say. I suppose this is the first time a deity has participated in the race since it first began.”
“Well, yeah…”
No god or spirit had ever run the big relay race in Japan. Maybe if they went to college, though, they could give it a shot.
Legs one and two together meant they’d run forty kilometers already, so the walls around the castle town were a speck in the distance. Right now, they were running through the fields.
In the fifth leg, it would suddenly change to steep slopes.
Laika was running that part, so I wasn’t all that worried. I even had a feeling that she might set a new record there. The problem was at what ranking she would get the belt.
Now, how was our goddess doing?
Well, basically—she wasn’t “doing” at all.
Both her feet were firmly hitting the ground, but she was basically sliding forward! This was not normal running!
“What do you think? Seems a bit like a glitch run, doesn’t it?”
“I’m the only one here who understands what that means!”
Beelzebub, sitting with me in the escort carriage, looked extremely uncomfortable. “Hmm, that may be considered against the rules, you know. Flying is not allowed…”
“It isn’t? But she’s not really in the air, is she…?”
Come on, I’d hate for us to be disqualified now because someone broke the rules. Personally, considering that attacking other runners was allowed, I’d say that practically all the teams were going against the “rules,” so I’d be upset if we had to drop out despite that.
The other universities apparently thought the same as Beelzebub, and some went to confirm with the judges. One winged demon staff member flew to our escort carriage to give us the answer.
Crap! If we broke the rules…
“Other universities have been wondering if runner number three from DKRBPU is running in a manner that is against the rules, but we have determined that it is not a problem. She is not flying, nor is she using any flight-related magic. Per regulation, she is not acting against the rules.”
Thank that goddess in particular! I really didn’t want to lose because of the rules!
“Unique movement like that may be banned from future races, however…”
Yeah, I expected that… There was no way to count that as running…
The winged demon flew off to another escort carriage. For such a hectic race, the staff sure were taking this seriously.
“Hello, demons! Please have a virtue stamp card! Commit good deeds and collect stamps!”
With her feet sliding along the ground, Godly Godness scattered her cards along the side of the road.
“She’s proselytizing!”
There were way too many runners on this team who joined for their own intentions.
Plus, the way Godly Godness was moving was extremely technical.
The runners in front of her stuck out their legs to trip her, but she would suddenly slide to the side out of the way, like something out of a video game.
“You must not show violence toward a goddess. Go back five seconds~” With a smile and a whisper, she suddenly warped the runner backward.
“I can do that to anyone who isn’t a higher being~”
Her powers were too OP for this! Putting someone five seconds backward in time was a huge blow for them.
Someone apparently asked the judges if making someone warp backward was against the rules, but no magic, no foul.
Yeah, having a goddess on the team was the biggest bonus we could ask for… On the other hand, she wasn’t moving at an unbelievable speed, so she managed to hand off the belt at fifth place overall.
There was also a possibility that she had limited her own moving speed and powers. The whole thing would be over if she sent all the runners back to the start anyway.
Leg four was Wynona.
I hadn’t been expecting a yes to my invitation, but she was interested in the demon territories as an adventurer. Now that I thought about it, the normal adventurers never even got the opportunity to set foot in the demon lands. For her, this was her first visit in a little while.
“Here you go, Miss Wynona. The belt.”
“Thank you. Oh… It’s rather heavy…”
Wynona didn’t seem all that physically strong, so I hoped she was going to be okay.
Godly Godness joined us in the escort carriage. She really hadn’t done any running at all; she wasn’t even tired.
“This was my chance to spread my name to the demons, so this was positively perfect.”
“You are a goddess? Oh, look how young you are~ I’m Yufufu, droplet spirit~”
“Ah, so you are the droplet spirit! Yes, I am a goddess. I must say, you are quite young yourself, Miss Yufufu.”
The inside of the carriage was turning into a mom hangout…
“Now, everyone, the view for the fourth leg is very lovely. But you may get splashed.” Vania seemed to know a lot about the race, so she was also acting as our commentator.
“Does that mean we’re going along the side of a lake?”
“That is correct.” Vania nodded. “Leg four follows the path of a narrow sandbar between north Bleach Lake and south Bleach Lake.”
This sandbar business reminded me of something similar in Japan—Amanohashidate. I’d never been, though.
“There is not much room to pass one another on this sandbar, and the escort carriage will only get in the way, so we will take the long way around. This is a critical point in the race, where one may kick runners from other universities into the water.”
“So the regular running isn’t critical?”
This sure was a violent sport.
“Bleach Lake will harm you if you stay in the water for too long, so it is often called the Lake of Death. Falling in here may sap your strength and make it more difficult to complete the route at a higher position.”
“Why do they make them run here…?”
“They also call it the Heartbreaker Lake.”
“So it’s only difficult because it’s dangerous to fall in?!”
I hoped Wynona was going to be okay. All the runners around her would be demons, and rules forbade using any magic.
Our escort carriage went around the outside of the lake.
From here, we could see the runners on the sandbar in the middle of the lake to the left.
Wynona seemed to be struggling physically after all, since many people were passing her, even without falling into the water.
“She’s about tenth place right now. It would be dangerous if she were to get too far separated from the front… I suppose some find the belt heavy…”
Yeah, it wasn’t a baton, but an actual belt. Some people would get tired just holding it.
Then she collided with another runner coming up behind her. Wait, was she shoved?
She staggered and slipped off the sandbar and into the lake.
“Wynona!”
I hated that I couldn’t help.
I guess that was it for us. Our team had been put together in a rush, and it was honestly amazing that we managed to get this far to begin with. But not long after, Wynona stepped back onto the sandbar—and she seemed to have more pep in her step.
“Heh-heh, I am bleached white now!” she shouted, loud enough for us to hear her all the way over here.
Indeed, I could see her colorful number was pure white now.
“She bleached herself in the lake!”
“Yes. When you fall into Bleach Lake, all the color is sapped out of anything you have. Hence the name.”
Was this the reason why Wynona joined? White was her favorite color, after all.
Afterward, she was clearly running faster than before, and her face was practically glowing—she was genuinely enjoying the relay race.
“So she got her motivation when she bleached her number…”
She was going faster and faster, until she eventually rammed into the demon who had pushed her from behind.
And she gave a swift kick, and the demon fell into the lake with a cry.
“Thank you very much for what you did. Just wanted to return the favor.”
Ah, revenge is sweet.
Wynona’s pace accelerated until she was now back at the position where she initially started.
Sheesh, that’s one way to get your motivation…
The Bleach Lake area came to an end, and the escort carriage came up behind Wynona.
“You’re almost there, Wynona!”
“Silence, Stepmother! I know that!” she complained.
Still, I wasn’t going to not cheer her on.
By my estimation, she’d be able to hand off the belt to Laika in leg five at about sixth place. We were probably going to be finishing day one at a good spot.
I could tell Laika was rarin’ to go, even from far away.
“I leave the rest to you, Miss Laika!” Wynona staggered forward, tired from the latter half of her race, and handed the belt to Wynona.
“Thank you! I won’t let you down!”
Laika swung her arms and sped up quite a bit right off the bat.
First, we made sure Wynona was safe and sound in the escort carriage. This carriage sure could hold a lot of people. I bet that was because a behemoth was pulling it.
“I am thrilled to have experienced Bleach Lake.”
“I knew that’s why you joined. Still, you did a really good job racing inhuman runners.”
“Oh, there you go again, praising me like you are my mother. Stop it.”
She really didn’t need to shoot me down every time I said something nice about her.
But that was when her expression clouded over. “I lost one place. I was hoping to maintain my position when I handed the belt off to Laika.”
So she had been worried about it.
I placed my hand on her head. “It’s okay. It really isn’t enough to hold her back.”
“Why is my stepmother acting so very familiar with me?”
“I didn’t say that as your stepmother, but as your team captain.” The words left my mouth before I really thought about them. Was I team captain…?
“At last, we are at the soul-crushing leg five. The incline is steep, and ’tis not uncommon for the race to be decided here. Even I know this, and I have little interest in sports,” Beelzebub said. I guess that made it similar to the Hakone race. Didn’t we just have a soul-crushing lake…?
I also had a feeling there were way more demons clustered along the side of the road here than before.
“In a typical year, the runners of this leg are mountain folk. I see plenty of Cyclopes and ogres here now. Vania, who should we be looking out for today?” Beelzebub asked.
“One in particular is Togula, an ogre from Hell Plateau Karma University and known as the Mountain Destroyer.”
Was anyone graduating alive from these universities…?
As we chatted, Laika surpassed a Cyclops and reached fifth place.
“I…I will…not lose! I shall not lose to anyone but myself!”
“Wow, she’s catching up quite quickly! Escort driver, please go faster! What? The behemoth is tired? Please, if you can!”
We were on a steep incline, so it didn’t sound like the behemoth could speed up. Also, there were a lot more people riding in the carriage now… Even a behemoth would get tired…
“How is the front doing, Vania?” Beelzebub asked.
“One of the drakes has just informed me that Togula from Hell Plateau Karuma University is currently in third place. He’s quite far ahead of her, and I believe he may be able to get first. In second place is Maphrit from Torture Hall University. And in first place is Bowen the Stonebreaker from Basilisk Pharmaceutical College. My, Basilisk Pharmaceutical College has come quite far. Vampire Herb Admiration College fell into the lake in leg four, so they have fallen very far behind. It might not be easy to recover their position.”
I didn’t know anything about these institutions, so I barely parsed any of that!
As the spiraling mountain path got steeper and steeper, the behemoth had almost stopped in place.
“The behemoth is tired. There is nothing we can do. We shall rest for a few minutes,” Beelzebub remarked.
Hrrrm… I really wanted to know how the race was unfolding, but oh well. I didn’t want to abuse any animals.
Just then, one of the runners fell from above.
“Oh, Maphrit from Torture Hall University fell from the bridge! That will be a huge loss of time! And Miss Laika has climbed up a position!”
“This course is merciless!”
The staff brought us a new behemoth, which made a lot more sense than asking any more of the previous one.
“We should be able to go now. Let’s follow them!”
We rushed up the spiraling roads, and thanks to the angle, the runners were going slow enough for us to pass them.
We still couldn’t see Laika. I guess that meant she was about third place?
We kept going, and eventually, we spotted Laika in the distance.
There were cheers coming from the roadside.
“DKRBPU is incredible!”
“Yes, DKRBPU, yes!”
“There’s a new mountain destroyer!”
It was hard to tell if Laika was happy with that title, but she was proceeding forward smoothly.
“You got this, Laika! Keep it up! Keep it up!”
Laika slightly raised her right hand. I think that was her way of telling me she heard what I said.
She passed a runner who had BASILISK PHARMACEUTICAL COLLEGE written on their number. There was also a picture of a basilisk on it.
“Oooh! Incredible, incredible! There is only one other ahead of her! And that is Togula of Hell Plateau Karma University!”
“The battle of mountain destroyers, huh?”
That guy must’ve gotten a big head start, so catching up wouldn’t be easy.
But that was when my body lurched forward in the carriage. Misjantie’s face collided with the driver’s perch.
It kind of felt like we’d come to the highest peak on a roller coaster…
“Oh, I forgot to mention that the home stretch is an incredibly steep downhill road. I have heard it’s quite difficult to manage since it requires muscles you don’t normally use.”
“I wish you’d remembered to mention that!”
This was way more important information than who was running from what college!
“Oh dear… The speed this behemoth accrued earlier means it will not be able to stop as it goes down…,” Beelzebub said.
So our brakes were broken…and Laika was running right in front of us.
She sensed something was off and turned around.
“Ahhh! You’ll run into me!”
“Sorry! We can’t stop the behemoth!”
Laika sprinted down the hill. She had to—otherwise, we’d crash into her from behind.
“M-Miss Laika is a dragon, right? Perhaps she might be strong enough to hold the behemoth?” Vania brought something up, but that wasn’t the problem here.
“This is a race—if she stops, she’ll lose her place! She has no choice but to keep going! And I don’t think a carriage with this many people in it will be easy for her to handle… We’ve got a lot of momentum…”
This was an unusual situation, so I was sure that Laika’s best option was just to keep going.
“Ha-ha-ha! Go, behemoth! Time to show Laika a world of hurt!”
“Cut it out, Flatorte!”
“Indeed. The rule allowing the carriage to hit enemies was scrapped long ago. Using it to attack an ally is unheard of.”
“That’s not the point, Beelzebub!”
Anyway, Laika was running as hard as she could.
The behemoth was massive, so her instincts were probably kicking in, too. She must have felt like she was being chased.
Well, she kind of was… I was hoping we didn’t hit her.
Then someone else came into view in the distance.
“That’s Togula, the runner in first place from Hell Plateau Karma University! Incredible! Miss Laika seems to be going fast enough to surpass the mountain destroyer!” Vania cheered in an almost childlike manner.
It was definitely something to be excited about, but our carriage was in danger of running over Laika, too.
“Yes! Then we’ll ram into that ogre! Let’s get ’em!” Flatorte hooted.
“’Tis against the rules! Violating the rules will not only disqualify you but require you to write three thousand letters of apology!” Beelzebub said.
Flatorte went pale. “…Oh, I don’t want that. That might kill me.”
She definitely didn’t seem to have a strong enough vocabulary to write that many. Maybe she’d have to reach all the way back into her childhood…
“I—I can make it! Because I don’t know what will happen if I make contact with the cart!” Laika sped up even more.
The ogre in first place noticed the commotion going on behind him and glanced back with a hint of panic. I doubted he was expecting anyone to catch up to him with such speed.
Ooh, could Laika actually take first place on this route?
There were only about two hundred meters left.
The ogre in first was running with all his might.
Laika chased him (or really, the carriage was chasing her).
Who was going to win?
“Run [Laika]! Stop [carriage]!”
“Your cheering is rather unclear,” Beelzebub remarked.
“I’m telling the carriage to stop!”
Everyone kept going straight toward the goal. How would it end?!
In the end, the ogre dashed across the finish line. A few seconds later, Laika did the same. She didn’t take first after all.
Everyone from Hell Plateau Karma University gathered around the ogre to praise him. Even though they were the competition, it was still nice to see.
And I guess it’s kind of weird for me to say as a competitor in this race, but I was kind of glad they won. Losing to our makeshift team would really hurt… We honestly had no plans of even taking second place.
But it was then that we were presented with a different record that wasn’t our overall standing.
A winged messenger demon immediately came to tell us the news in our carriage.
“DKRBPU, congratulations! Laika, you have set a new record for leg five!”
Oooh! She made a record!
Maybe the carriage chasing her led her to running super fast at the end…? That sounded extremely plausible…
But still, she set a new record! Great work, Laika!
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