SOME LOCAL SPECIALTIES HAVE RULES THAT ALWAYS TRIP UP FIRST-TIMERS, RIGHT?
“—We honestly had an awful time when we got lost on Mount Shroom~ It was winter, so it was slowly getting colder and colder…”
“Huh. I, Flatorte the great dragon, can’t sympathize at all with your story.”
“I thought so… You can fly if you get lost, and you fare best in the cold…”
Hello, this is Halkara. Starting today, I’ll be on an overnight business trip on Miss Flatorte. A potential vendor in a Western province expressed interest in selling Halkara Pharmaceuticals products, so I am off to pay a visit. Time to expand my influence into the West!
“Gosh, it is honestly such a big help to have you and Miss Laika around. It was so difficult to go on business trips far away back when I was working in Hrant.”
“I’m happy to do it, as long as you feed me. I want to eat something new every now and then.”
I’ve managed steady success with Halkara Pharmaceuticals and built a Nutri-Spirits palace for my family (well, nothing quite that luxurious), but—
When the great demon Beelzebub collapsed after drinking Nutri-Spirits, and I mistakenly believed I had to flee from her wrath, I left my homeland, and I now live in the house in the highlands in the province of Nanterre.
Now, Azusa, the Witch of the Highlands, is my teacher, and I’ve built a new Halkara Pharmaceuticals factory here in Nanterre. One thing led to another, and another, and another, and now that we’ve welcomed a second dragon into the family, Miss Flatorte, Halkara Pharmaceuticals will reach even greater heights!
After all, I’m riding on her back right now!
“…By the way, aren’t you going a little fast, Miss Flatorte…?”
The wind on my face was starting to hurt.
“But you’re not gonna make your meeting if we go any slower. I took off assuming we’d be flying at this speed the whole time.”
“Then we should have left a little earlier!”
The wind was smacking me in the face! My hair would most certainly look like a mess after this… I’d have to readjust myself once we arrived; otherwise the client might think a banshee had come for the meeting…
My business trip to the Western region was just beginning—but it was not going to be a comfortable trip…
“Oh, Halkara. Work’s done?” said Flatorte as I met her outside of the castle.
“Yes, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. This castle is just marvelous, isn’t it~?”
“It was great! Unlike museums, these places are extremely exciting to me, the great Flatorte!”
We had come to a city named Funaye in the province of Dohan.
After all was said and done, the place to see here was Funaye Castle. The red-painted walls gave it a certain air of dignity.
The great feudal lord who once ruled over this land built it, but official city affairs had been moved to a different building, so now one could pay money to see the inside.
“It is quite imposing~ You don’t often see castles painted such a bright color.”
“Yeah. Red reminds me of red dragons, so I’d like it even more if they painted it blue instead.”
That would be a little spooky…
“Well, since we’re here, I want to take a look inside the castle, too, but”—I weakly pressed my hands against my stomach—“I’m……………………………hungry.”
Looking around the castle would mean lots of walking, which meant using up physical energy… I wouldn’t be able to really get a good look around without anything in my stomach.
“Then it’s chow time! Let’s go!”
“Yes. Let’s eat our fill!”
Business work was important, but I was not going to be careless about my food, either. Meals in faraway places were a lovely chance to try something completely different!
“We’re in a sightseeing spot,” said Flatorte, “so there’s a street with a bunch of restaurants over there.”
“Tsk, tsk. The truly delicious local cuisine would not be found in a restaurant for tourists. They are counterfeit, you could call them. Fakes.”
“Huh. Well I, the great Flatorte, will wolf down any kind of meat, real or fake.”
“I can appreciate your student-like approach, but today we will be enjoying local cuisine. So let us head for downtown!”
“I’m fine with that. Downtown’s not that far from here.”
As we walked around downtown Funaye, we spotted a restaurant-bar-looking establishment that had opened for the noon crowd. The building practically screamed that it had been in business for a very long time.
“All right, we’ll go here! This is what we want to find!”
“It doesn’t look very interesting. Are you sure it’s good?”
“This is an establishment loved by the locals. It is a much safer bet than a newly opened restaurant trying to succeed with some gimmick! It’s also along a major road, so it must make money, too. No hobbyists here!”
“You noticed a lot from just one look.”
“Elves live for a long time, too… I’ve experienced quite a bit…”
“Let’s go in, then.”
When we opened the door, the interior definitely belonged to a local eatery. “Welcome. Party of two, is it? Please take a seat at one of the tables back here~” The proprietress, a woman about thirty in human years, hospitably guided us to our table.
Everything was in place. My hopes were already rising! Now we would take our seats and check the menu.
I would love to try a dish that we can only get here~ Let’s see, ham and eggs, sausages…
“Huh? This is all so mundane…”
Maybe this establishment was so local that they only offered ordinary food? Had I made another blunder?
“Hey, this Funaye rice sounds pretty good.”
Flatorte was pointing at a dish with a local-sounding name.
“The area around here not only uses lots of bread, but tons of rice, too. Meat on rice sounds delicious! Especially the meat!”
I see. Flatorte was a big eater, and she seemed to favor this kind of thing. The ingredients were local, too. But what I was looking for wasn’t a unique menu item of new ideas but a dish that had been a part of this culture for ages…
I suppose it’s more interesting than a regular set anyway… I would most likely go with that as well. I needed something more exciting, however, so I decided to search for something else I’d never heard of before. There must be something on the menu.
Oh, there it is, under the side dishes: Bokkake—350 gold.
What an odd-sounding name. This was it! This was what I should be ordering!
“I’ve decided, Miss Flatorte.”
“Right. I’m gonna have two Funaye rices.”
She sure eats a lot…
I placed an order of Funaye rice and bokkake with the proprietress.
She smiled. “You sure like meat, don’t you?” This was all Flatorte’s fault…
Five minutes later, our Funaye rice arrived: a neat pile of rice and a heap of soft-simmered beef on top.
If it tastes as good as it looks, we hit the jackpot!
Flatorte immediately reached for a spoon and shoveled it into her mouth.
“Mm! It’s sweet, spicy, and delicious!” I took a bite as well. “You’re right! The meat is sweet and spicy. It blends perfectly with the rice!”
The boiled beef had quite a lot of moisture in it, which the rice absorbed to create a perfect harmony.
I doubted the boiled sweet-spicy meat would go very well with any kind of bread, but it was a perfect match with rice. This dish might have been created with rice in mind.
“Exactly! Nice, thick steaks are great, but I love sweetened meat dishes, too! I’m so glad I ordered two!”
“I doubt anyone besides you would be able to eat two of these… But I am glad to see you are happy.”
“And this beef would go great with some beer.”
I was thinking the same thing. “Yes. It’s seasoned quite richly; I think some drinks would be an excellent accompaniment.”
Then, the proprietress came to us again, bearing Flatorte’s second helping of Funaye rice.
“Here we go, another Funaye rice.” She laid down the plate in an empty spot on the table. “And one bokkake.”
Here it is! The mysterious bokkake has arrived!
Now what would it turn out to be?
The best part of traveling was discovering new foods!
What sat on the small plate—
—was the same boiled beef tendon from the Funaye rice.
“What…? This is bokkake…?”
“Yes. Funaye rice is bokkake on rice. It was originally what we served to our employees here at the restaurant.”
It turned out to be the exact same thing!
I’d ordered what we were already eating!
“Bokkake was originally created when we were trying to make all our extra meat even more delicious, and now the bokkake itself has gained some popularity. I am very happy to see you order more of it as a side dish!”
No, Miss Proprietress, that’s not it… I simply ordered the wrong thing…
I took a bite of the bokkake. It just tasted like Funaye rice, but without the rice.
If I had known this would happen, then I should’ve just asked. To think I would fall into such a trap…
“Both servings were delicious! I almost want to eat this back at home in the highlands!”
My only salvation was how delighted Flatorte was with her meal…
“Halkara, you’ve got business in Titteria Province tomorrow, right? I hope we eat some good stuff there, too. I’ll leave the restaurant scouting to you,” Flatorte said, her mouth still full of food.
Indeed. We still have plenty of chances to make this right.
I will not mess up next time; we will get our local cuisine! We will have our revenge yet!
That night, Flatorte and I entered Titteria Province. The carriages would have been a full day slower; many thanks to Flatorte for such efficient travel.
“Wow, this city is a crammed mess. And the colors are all over the place.” Flatorte was looking at the city around us. I could see her point.
“Titteria is the center of the Western commercial union. Today, it’s still an autonomous city of merchants. The spirit of commerce runs deep here.”
The capital city of Titteria Province, Titteria, had several rivers weaving across it, which made it perfect for shipping. It was even near the ocean as well.
“Whoooaaa! Those clothes look awesome!”
“Where?”
“Look, there’s a big tiger on this! What a powerful look!”
“Well… I don’t think it’d look very good on you…”
“But there’s a lady over there with a tiger on the back of her shirt!”
I remembered the legend then; they said that when the merchants of Titteria were once about to be subjugated by the army of a great feudal lord, they dressed all their mercenaries in clothes with animal faces to make them look brave, then beat back the enemy in a flawless battle. Maybe this was deeply rooted in their history.
“But, Miss Flatorte, wouldn’t you rather buy some clothes with a dragon?”
“Now that you mention it, I would. But I don’t see anyone around here wearing dragon clothes.”
“I suppose you’d have real dragons living in such a big city… Maybe those dragons would find it strange… Anyway, let’s save our search for local cuisine for tomorrow—tonight, I’d like to drink.”
Flatorte’s eyes glittered. “I’ll join you! Whatever’s over there smells great!”
She was looking at an idol of the god Grico—legend has it he ran for three hundred days straight.
There was also the statue of the god Do-kura, who took the shape of a crab and was said to have defeated an evil hydra by snipping it to pieces, and the statue of the blowfish Tetchiri, who was said to have taken down an evil whale with its poison stingers.
This holy street was full of god statues—some that resembled clowns, some that reminded me of goblins…
“You have a sharp eye. The divine street is said to be the most lively in all of Titteria. There should be something there for us. Let’s find a good place!”
“That’s what I want to hear! Let’s go!”
We walked for a little bit and found an exceptionally lively establishment.
The most popular fried skewers
THE COLOSSEUM
Judging from the picture drawn on the sign, this place offered fried skewers with sauce drizzled on top.
“This food will certainly go with a drink!”
“I could eat fifty of these. We’ll drink and drink and eat!”
The two of us marched right into the restaurant.
The establishment was nice and lively on the inside. This would be a fun place to get tipsy! We started off by ordering two of the ten-skewer sets and some drinks.
“Man, I can’t wait! Every blue dragon would like this! I can tell before we even take a bite!”
“I’m quite excited myself! All right, let me go pick some flowers before the food comes.” (That’s how we elves talk about going to the restroom.)
I used the toilet and made sure I took the opportunity to wash my hands before our meal. There were some things in the house in the highlands that seemed crude, but elves were clean. Plus, I was the president of a company whose products people put in their mouths.
I looked in the bathroom mirror to give myself a little pep talk. I made a mistake during lunch by ordering the same thing twice, but now was my redemption! And tomorrow would be a big success!
“I will do my absolute best, both in my business talks and for lunch! Whoop, whoop!”
With a proud smile, I left the bathroom and returned to my seat.
Flatorte was fighting with one of the staff members!
What?! I was only gone for a few minutes?!
She couldn’t have gotten cranky and drunk and started trouble yet!
“Ma’am, the sign here clearly says that there is no double-dipping in the sauce!”
“You think I read that? You have to tell me ahead of time! I don’t know these things!”
“It says that at the front of the store and at the counter!”
“I, the great Flatorte, make it a point never to read the signs! It’s my choice whether to read it or not!”
This restaurant had its own rules—and a potentially fatal one for first-timers!
“Hey, did you hear? That tourist’s been double-dipping.”
“We’re tourists, too, but at least we know that double-dipping is bad.”
“Everyone knows any real skewer joint has the ‘no double-dipping’ sign.”
“You know, I’m glad we got to see someone get yelled at for this.”
The commentary from the other customers made it sound like it was a basic rule…
In that case, the one complaining about it was the one embarrassing herself.
“Miss Flatorte, let’s just acknowledge our mistake. It doesn’t cost anything to apologize,” I intervened.
“I don’t accept that! If you’re not letting anyone double-dip in your sauce, then either offer something to drizzle or put bottles of the sauce on the tables! You’re just asking people to double-dip if you fill a whole box full of sauce!”
Her logic was sound to me, but the other customers were laughing.
“Dunking the whole thing in a big tub is the point!”
“You’re not getting the real experience if you’re just drizzling a bit of sauce on. We aren’t even from here!”
Oh, please. If you are tourists, then refrain from talking as if you know everything.
“Hold up a second here.”
A tough-looking swordsman with a shaved head and scarred face stepped forward.
Oh gosh, he must’ve been working as an adventurer for a very long time here! He would know every single booze dispensary in town! If someone like him was getting involved, we could be in danger!
“Sir, this dragon-lady has a point. You both have good intentions, so why don’t both of you apologize and settle this nicely, yeah?”
Once the tough-looking swordsman showed up, the staff member immediately folded. “You’re right…”
“I won’t make the same mistake again…,” said Flatorte.
Wow! Very well done, terrifying swordsman!
“Thank you very much for your help!” I said graciously. I was used to bowing in gratitude in my line of work.
“I’ve come from far away, too, so I just wanted to relax and enjoy my food. That’s all.”
He was a tourist, too?! I honestly thought he was a regular!
Afterward, our set of ten skewers came, but—
“Oh, there are twelve on here.”
“I’m really sorry about earlier. I gave you two extra.” The staff member winked at us. Exceptional service.
The skewers themselves went supremely well with our drinks.
“You really do have to dunk these fried skewers in sauce for it to truly shine. They wouldn’t be nearly as delicious if you just drizzled them. ”
Flatorte had a wonderful time eating and drinking. All’s well that ends well.
And speaking of things that end well, I’m going to make tomorrow’s lunch a success, too!
The next day, I successfully wrapped up my business talks in the morning—
And for lunch, Flatorte and I walked around Titteria’s cathedral shopping street.
“This is a really long street. Really impressed they got this many stores in here.”
“The cathedral sits right at the end, so I’ve heard that the road leading to it ended up lined with shops. In fact, I have heard it’s the longest in the entire kingdom. I believe we should find a very fine establishment here.”
Once we were done eating, I would hop onto Flatorte’s back and return to the house in the highlands. This was our last chance on this trip.
We will reach a successful conclusion! We will have a perfectly flawless lunch!
As we walked along the street, we spotted an unfamiliar term: lyke cakes.
We found signs advertising them not only at the front of restaurants but at smaller cafés as well. It sounded like this was the local delicacy. Some signs included illustrations of a round, pancake-type thing with meat and vegetables inside.
“All right, let us finish off by trying out these lyke cakes!”
“But there are tons of shops selling them. I have no idea if this means they’re all good or what.”
“My basic rule of thumb is that we must choose an establishment that is clearly loved by the locals.”
As we passed by one establishment, I got a peek into its little window. Inside, it appeared to be a café restaurant, and since it was lunchtime, 80 percent of the seats were taken.
That meant people were coming here because it had good food, not just because it was a café.
Not only that, a merchant-like man with a large belly just happened to leave the restaurant, patting his stomach with great satisfaction.
If this place was good enough to satisfy him, then I doubted we’d have trouble with the serving sizes, either.
“I believe we’ve found what we’re looking for! Let’s go in!”
“Got it. I trust your judgment, Halkara.”
We opened the door to the restaurant and heard the satisfying ring of a bell overhead.
“Party of two! Take a seat over there!” the hostess called energetically.
After many years of failure, I, too, have matured. I chose many a terrible establishment and found disappointment when I lived in Hrant, but I would not make those mistakes again.
No—all those mistakes had led to all the skill I have now! My mistakes and blunders had served as my fertilizer! Flowers still bloom after failure!
A flower that blooms from failure—now that is a nice proverb, if I do say so myself. I’ll put that up in the factory as our slogan some other time.
As I examined the lunch menu, I could see that the lyke cake lunch set was six hundred gold, and that lyke cake on its own was also six hundred gold.
“Looks like the set’s a better value for lunch.”
“Indeed. I suppose this means we should choose the lyke cake lunch set.”
Lyke cakes appeared to be some variety of pancake, so a set meal would most certainly come with other side dishes.
We ordered two lyke cake lunch sets, and I was excited to find out what we would be eating.
The server returned with our food quite fast; I suppose this was their lunchtime turnaround.
“Here you are! Two lyke cake sets!”
It was time to get our fill and then head home!
Next to the lyke cake was…a heaping bowl of rice and some soup.
Huh…? We have one grain accompanied by another…? Carbohydrates with more carbohydrates?
“Um, excuse me? What comes with the lyke cake in the set?”
“The set comes with rice and soup.”
How voluminous! Of course one would eat their fill!
“Are y’all tourists here? That lyke cake lunch set is typical around here.”
“I—I see… Oh, it’s not a problem… Thank you for the food…”
I was hoping to have a grand finale, but once again, we were at the whims of the local rules…
It was practically unheard of to eat a wheat-based food with rice, even in areas that ate mostly rice. I wasn’t so sure about this… Wasn’t this unbalanced…?
However—I was the only one who felt like this was a mistake.
“Oooh! Now this would make any dragon happy! A hundred times more energy!”
Flatorte immediately cut her sauce-covered lyke cakes into squares, put it on her rice, scooped it all up with her fork, and put it in her mouth.
“Oh yeah! The rich sauce makes this perfect!”
Flatorte hadn’t seen this as a failure at all.
Indeed. If everyone disliked it, then it would not have established its roots as a dish in this area in the first place. The people of Titteria didn’t see a problem with lyke cake and rice. Was I trying to force it into my narrow worldview?
I had to try it first. Innovation is only born from courage! Even failed flowers bloom!
I was surprised to see that my proverb was already applicable… Not that it really mattered…
Time to see if this flower will bloom!
I also placed my lyke cake on the rice and put it in my mouth.
Oh, the sauce most certainly went delightfully with the rice!
“This is good! This set works!” I set out to conquer this double-carb meal, unintimidated by Flatorte.
“You sure are eating a lot today, Halkara! You’re like a dragon!”
“Of course! I’m still a growing girl!”
That was when I noticed the bottle of sauce sitting on the table. That was most certainly the extra sauce for the lyke cakes, but… I could use it in other ways.
I drizzled it over my rice. Behold, the saucy rice!
“Ooh! This can work, too!”
“Hey, that’s a good idea! I’m gonna try that!” Flatorte delightfully poured the sauce over her rice, too.
Yes, a meal you eat with a smile is the best kind!
And so we cleaned the plates in our lyke cake lunch sets perfectly!
Flatorte and I left the restaurant in high spirits.
Yes, only you can decide whether something was a success. The power to change failure into something positive rests in your hands.
I learned something quite important from the lyke cake lunch set.
“I’m sorry… Could you stop dipping and weaving so much…?” On the way back, I started to feel slightly nauseous… “I can feel my lyke cake coming back up…”
“I’m doing what I can, but the wind here is strong, so the turbulence is unavoidable. Just hold on tight so you don’t fall off.”
There was too much in the lyke cake lunch set after all…
“And if you throw up on me, I’m gonna dunk you like a skewer into a dirty bog for ten whole seconds as payback.”
“Yes, I will do my best…”
My face went pale, and I covered my mouth with my hand. I could not rely on spiritualism and mental power. It would be much safer to deal with this physically. I shouldn’t have stuffed myself before hopping on a dragon.
They often say that the journey home feels much shorter than the journey away, but for me, the return felt three times as long.
The grand finale, I suppose…?
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