Chapter I: A Tale of Ice and Fire
I didn’t really want to deal with this if I could avoid it, but I had no real choice.
I headed to the knight barracks, then down the stairs to the recently constructed underground portion. I slowly walked down the spiral staircase until I came to a stone corridor. Eventually, I made it to a small room where two knights stood on duty.
One was working on some documents at their desk, while the other was doing push-ups. I recognized their faces. They were two of the demi-humans who had participated in the knight exams a while back. The man doing the paperwork was a wardog beastman, while the woman doing the push-ups was a lioness. If I recalled right, they were called Dingo and Ashley.
“G-Grand Duke!”
“Ah, Your Highness?”
“Oh, don’t worry about formalities. I’m just dropping in.”
The dog-headed man stood to attention, while the lion-eared woman fell mid-pushup out of shock. I stopped them from saluting me as I sauntered over to the next room, the jail cell.
“I’ll just be heading in.”
“Of course! Here’s the key!”
Dingo handed me the large cell key that had been hanging up on the wall. I smiled politely at the duo, then opened the thick iron door. Behind the door was the castle dungeon. There were archways to the left and right of me, leading down hallways to a series of sturdy iron cages. The bars were all infused with magic, and the barriers placed around the cells were as powerful as my [Prison] magic.
A particular woman was waiting for me in one of these cells, hidden in the depths. There was a tatami mat laid atop a stone-crafted bed in the corner of her cell, with some bedding on top of that. In a little alcove on the wall sat a leylightstone, which we used as an alternative light source to candles. It shone inside a small cup of water. A pair of glasses sat next to the cup.
In the back of this special cell was a curtained-off area with a shower and toilet facilities. This was certainly a luxurious cell, all things considered. I felt it only fair, given that it was inescapable. Even if the bars were cut or the stone walls were dug through, the magic surrounding this place would prevent anyone from ever getting out.
In the corner of the room sat a purple Gollem encased in ice. My [Eternal Coffin] spell wouldn’t wear off until I released it, after all.
“Hey. You sleeping?”
“Hm...? I’m not sleeping... But... A-Ah?! That voice! Tou?!”
Luna jumped up, flinging the blanket off her body. Her hair looked scraggly, but her complexion was fine enough.
“You don’t look bad, given you’ve been in here a few days.”
“Hmmmmph! You’re so mean for keeping me here, Tou... A big meanie...”
“Hey, c’mon now. What other prisons give you a toilet, three square meals a day, and a shower?”
Other places just gave you a jar to do your business in; this was a pretty nice dungeon, all things considered. It was true that she was basically confined to this one space, though.
Either way, I wanted to get my purpose here over with.
“Now then, you’re charged with breaking and entering into a royal castle, as well as attempted assassination on royalty.”
“I did attack, but I don’t remember— Ohhh... That means you’re really a royal, Tou?” Luna reached out for her glasses, the two lenses shining softly as she put them back on.
“Not just me. Those two you attacked, remember? They’re my relatives, so they’re royalty as well.”
“Ohhh! Those crazy strong ladies! Were they your sisters?!”
Luna’s motions became erratic. She hopped up and charged over to the iron bars, clasping them tightly in her hands. I took a few steps back.
“One of them was. The other was my cousin.”
“Ohhh! Amazing! Amaaazing! I didn’t get to do much at all, and Viola got beaten right away! I bet those girls could kill me really easily!”
Luna’s body writhed and shivered as she grinned wide and softly fondled herself. Her breathing grew heavier. She really was an irredeemable pervert... It was pretty awful to watch.
“...I don’t really get it, but like... Do you want to die?”
“Mm... I think so! If I can die, I think it’d be fun to give it a go. I don’t really understand. I didn’t wanna die in the past, I know that much. Nia once said that if I keep using Viola’s power, the more things’ll go bad for me, and stuff. And then, in the end, Viola’s gonna kill me, too.”
...Wait, she knows that her sanity’s getting sapped? So, what... Is she hoping that she’ll either get killed by Viola or that someone’ll be able to kill her before it goes too far?
“It’s all your fault, Tou... I thought you’d finally be able to kill me, but you’re being so lazy about it! You limp-dicked bastard, you!”
“...Please don’t call me that.”
“It’s scary when you’re gonna die, isn’t it? I’ve felt it lots and lots and lots. Whenever I feel the pain and the fear, real pleasure comes out after that feeling... So then all the cutting, the stabbing, the slicing... All that good stuff going into me? It hurts so good... Ahhh, I love it. I love how good it hurts! It’s kind of like my body telling me I’m alive... That’s why it’s so good.”
Huh... So the only way she feels alive is by having pain inflicted on her. But each time she does that, her mind breaks down further and it actually brings her closer to the brink of death...
There was no hope for her. Chrom Ranchesse, creator of the crown Gollems, created an entire system of incredible powers. Of course, they all required you to pay a price for them. It was almost like making a contract with a devil. You gain incredible strength, but something’s robbed in return.
In Luna’s case, she had eternal life... But even if she could live forever, it didn’t matter if her sanity was the price she had to pay. Plus, her ability was automatic. Even if she didn’t want to use the crown’s ability, it would trigger and regenerate her body whenever she got hurt. Her sanity would be sapped away at the same time, too. Even though she was the Gollem’s master, it was pretty sketchy that it forced her to use its power no matter what. She got a pretty raw deal out of it.
“Anyway... I thought I’d be super-duper happy if you killed me, Tou... But now there are those girls, and they’re sooo strong, too! This is a little annoying, you know? Who should I have kill me now...?”
“None of us. I have no intention of killing you.”
Bastet told me that she helped protect the puretree in Isengard, but that wasn’t enough to cancel out her crimes. She definitely needed some form of punishment.
“Huh? Then what are you doing down here...? My, I guess this is one of the perils of relying on a virgi—”
“Enough.”
Goddamn, she has no tact at all! Still, after that talk I had with Elluka after the crown’s compensation, I want to address what we can do about Luna’s.
Usually, you could cancel it out by just trashing the Gollem, but Viola had rapid regeneration... That meant it would be pretty hard to bust. It wouldn’t be impossible if I used my divinity, but it would still be a bit much...
“If I told you I could totally obliterate Viola, how would you feel about that? Keep in mind it’d stop your mind from slipping any further.”
“You’d obliterate her? Hmm... I don’t know... Viola’s a nice little one, I think. Actually, Viola’s super gentle with me... The little cutie brings me food when I’m hungry, and carries me when I’m sleepy. Viola never asked to be born the way she was, either... If you ask me, the real monster is Viola’s creator.”
Heh, the creator... He already paid the ultimate price, his memories, after Albus ran wild in the past... In the end, I suppose he got what was coming to him.
If Luna didn’t want me to trash Viola, then I had to try plan B. I used a divinity-infused [Teleport] to warp into the prison cell. Typically, that kind of spell would be repelled by the barrier, but that didn’t stop me. I’d certainly become an unusual creature... Though I’d been one for a long time at this point.
“Whuh?!”
Luna jumped up in shock, but I ignored her and walked over to Viola, still trapped inside the icy coffin. I undid the spell, partially, and the ice thawed down enough to reveal Viola’s head and shoulders. “Beep.” Viola struggled to escape the ice, but it couldn’t do anything with its arms and legs trapped.
“Viola. I’m going to take away the parts of you that make you a crown Gollem. I hope you don’t hate me for this, but it’s for the greater good.”
I touched Viola’s head and cast [Analyze] on her. I couldn’t understand the intricacies, but I could sense the rudimentary functions like power flow. I also sensed the magical pathway that linked Viola to Luna, which was effectively the pathway that created Viola’s functions... Given that knowledge, I couldn’t fully erase it. But I could still do the next best thing.
“[Cracking].”
I used a Null spell that helped me modify magical programming. It was originally used to tweak magical artifacts. It wasn’t actually that useful, though. I couldn’t turn a fire staff into a lightning staff, for example. What I could do was make the fireball smaller or bigger, or just prevent the fireball from coming out at all.
I used the spell to meddle with Viola’s insides, cutting off all access to her automatic regeneration ability and effectively removing her status as a Crown Gollem.
“There we go. Viola’s no longer a crown, just a really powerful Gollem.”
“No way...”
“Yes way. Here, try jabbing yourself with this.”
I took out a small sewing needle from my [Storage], and passed it over to Luna. Luna shakily held it up, removed her glasses, and immediately thrust the needlepoint toward her eyeball.
“Whoa, stop! Are you stupid?! Don’t stab yourself in the goddamn eye!”
“Hm? Why not? It’s just my eye.”
“I meant for you to just prick your finger!”
This girl was an honest-to-god nutbag. I didn’t trust her not to maim herself, so I snatched the needle back and gently pricked her fingertip. A small drop of blood pooled on her skin. She wiped it away, but more blood pooled out. The wound wasn’t healing.
“You... You really disabled it?”
“Try asking Viola to heal it. Trust me.”
“Oh? Um... Viola, sweetie? Can you heal this?”
“Beep.”
Viola channeled magic energy through to Luna. I had disabled the regeneration ability, but in the process, I’d effectively created a new Gollem skill that a Legacy Gollem might have held. Basically, it was just regular regeneration, and it wasn’t automated. The little needle prick wound closed up in an instant.
“So... what does this mean?”
“It means Viola is now a regular Gollem with healing abilities. It won’t be able to heal anything fatal, though.”
Luna wouldn’t be able to survive the gruesome injuries she’d been sustaining up until now. If she had her stomach gouged open again, or anything else like that, she’d absolutely die.
“And now I need to cap off your punishment. [Guilty Curse].”
I reached out and planted a curse upon Luna. I couldn’t just let her go unpunished, after all.
“You won’t be able to derive pleasure from pain anymore.”
“Huh?!”
“Let me show you. Luna... Thank you for protecting the puretree, it meant a lot to me.”
“Nh... Whhah?! M-Mmfh?! A-Ah, wh-what was that sensation just now? It was like a shiver up my spine!”
Luna’s cheeks flushed a deep red as she wrapped her arms around her own body.
Ugh... I’ll never get used to her gross behavior...
“It’s pretty simple, really. This is the punishment I’ve imposed on you. You’ll gain pleasure from the gratitude of others.”
In a sense, I made her more normal, but I probably just made her weirder. Then again, the world was full of people who took a lot of pleasure from things others might not find all that enjoyable. Either way, this curse converted general appreciation and happiness from others into direct physical pleasure that would ripple across Luna’s body.
Most people felt some measure of happiness by helping others. Helping other people often served as a validating action for people, and helped with giving people a feeling of fulfillment and purpose. The curse I placed on Luna effectively gave her that validation... in the form of pleasurable sensations.
“H-Hey, Tou! D-Do it again... Thank me again!”
“Yeah, sure. Thank you, Luna.”
“...Huh?”
“Those words were empty, Luna. It won’t trigger anything if there’s no feeling behind it.”
“Aww...”
I ignored Luna as she fussed and pouted, and freed Viola from the ice.
“But I don’t know how to get people to thank me, Touuuu... Who do I have to kill?”
“Nobody! Why’s that your first assumption?! Just go help people in need!”
Ugh, this isn’t good. I don’t want her doing bad things... I guess if she’s hired as an assassin, she could kill tons and tons of people just so her employer would thank her... Better add another stipulation to the curse that prevents her from committing murder... I’ll make sure it adds exceptions for combat or self-defense situations, though.
Luna had clearly never been thanked in her entire life, so I needed to teach her the best way to earn gratitude.
I summoned a [Gate] connected to Brunhild’s main school and dragged Luna there along with her Gollem. There were a bunch of kids playing nearby.
“Oh! Grand Duuke!” “Wowie! Gwand Duke!”
The kids cheered in joy as they stampeded toward us. It seemed like the purple Gollem was attracting their attention the most.
“Hey, Tou! What is this place?!”
“It’s my castle town’s main school. The kids are planting flowers today, I think.”
Principal Fiana, along with Mr. Mittens, walked over from the main school building.
“Meow nice to see you, Grand Duke.”
“Oh my, what brings you here?”
The two of them smiled as they greeted us. They were carrying small gloves and little trowels, seemingly in preparation for the flower planting.
“I’ve brought a helper with me. She has a Gollem with her, too.”
“Oh my, what a pleasure to meet you. You’re here to help us? Thank you so much.”
“Nh— Aah?!”
Fiana’s words of gratitude caused spasms of pleasure to ripple through Luna’s body.
“Is she alright...?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. Her name’s Luna, and she’s just a little shy. Don’t worry if she seems a little jumpy.”
“Ah, I see. It’s nice to have you here, Miss Luna.”
“Y-Y-Yes, good...” Luna breathed heavily as she spoke. I wondered if she was actually okay, since it seemed like her body still wasn’t used to this new kind of pleasure.
“Hey, Miss Luna! Come get the trowels with us! Over here!”
“This way!”
“Huh? No, I—”
A group of little girls grabbed Luna by her hands and dragged her off. Viola hurried after them, a worried expression on its face. Frankly, I could use Earth magic to plant all kinds of flowers and make a lovely little flower bed, but Fiana was trying to teach the kids the value of hard work and co-operation, so I refrained. I decided to join in the old-fashioned way.
A few hours later, we had a lovely little flower bed on the school grounds. Well, lovely by the standards of inexperienced kids, but it definitely had charm.
“We did it...”
“Beep.”
Luna and Viola were just following instructions, but along the way, they started taking more initiative and worked alongside the kids. I was surprised to see a little smile on Luna’s face, even if she hadn’t noticed it.
A little girl with a mud-caked face walked toward Luna. “Thanks shooo much!”
“Nnnh?!”
Luna started twitching and shivering, right on cue.
“C-Could you say that again...?”
“Thanks!”
“A-Auuuh!”
“Are you okay?”
The girl seemed confused by Luna’s sudden writhing and gasping.
“Thanks to you, too, Viola!”
“Beep.”
Luna swiveled around, shuddering hard and rubbing her thighs together as she shambled towards me.
“T-Touuu... Thish ish baaahd... Nnnh... It feels shhooo good... Mmh... My heart’s pitter-pattering... I-It feels better than scooping out a man’s eyes, ahhhn... It feels better than being impaled by spears! Ohhh, it’s too much... I’m gonna start leaking...”
“Heh. Does it make you feel alive?”
“It really does... Ahh... I never felt this before... I-I’m gonna get hooked on it... You’re so cruel, Tou... So bad...”
I mean, it is meant to be a punishment... But I don’t really buy that it’s cruel given how much you’re grinning. Honestly, the way your eyes are rolling back is terrifying, and the fact that you’re drooling makes me wanna get the hell outta here.
The pleasure was maybe a little bit too intense for her... I sighed quietly, wondering if I’d made a mistake, as Fiana and a few more children came towards us.
“Alright, class. Let’s thank the grand duke and Miss Luna for all their help.”
“Ah— Wait, Fiana! You shouldn’t—”
“Grand Duke, Miss Luna, thank you for all your help!”
The entire class spoke words of unified gratitude. Their pure, childish hearts were laced with unadulterated appreciation... And they were all focused on Luna and I.
“A-Ah, I’m c-cumming... I-I’m cumming!! Nnhaaah!!”
Luna started squealing like a wild animal before collapsing on the spot. I caught her as she fell, and she grabbed on to my arm. She looked up at me with an expression of pure, babbling bliss.
“T-Tou... Nnh... This is so bad... I-I’m gonna squirt... It’s gonna gush... I-I can’t handle this, aaahn! M-My mind’s b-blanking out, eeehk!”
Luna spoke in a raspy, whispery tone as her body shuddered. This was a bad situation, I could tell that she was definitely close to her physical limit.
The kids here were too pure of heart; I should’ve brought her somewhere with a much more casual expression of thanks.
“Um... Is she okay?”
“She’ll be fine. We’re gonna head back, though. It was nice seeing you all. Take care, everyone!”
I waved off Fiana and the kids, then teleported back to the dungeon cell with Luna and Viola.
“Viola, you can handle her from here!”
“Beep?!”
I left the little purple Gollem behind before charging full-speed out of the dungeon. I could’ve sworn I heard some kind of dripping noise behind me as I fled, but I immediately pretended that I hadn’t heard it.
That was an awful ordeal, but at least I’ve given Luna her punishment now... I can let her go at last. ...It’ll be okay if I let her go, right?
Despite the fact that we’d stopped the mutants from causing catastrophic damage, they’d still done quite the number on countries around the world. It was taking a lot of time and effort to repair the damaged towns and cities.
The dwarven-made powered mechanical suits, the Dverg, were instrumental in reconstruction efforts. Frame Gears were too big and cumbersome, and the fact that they required training in the frame units meant that they could only be piloted by particular specialists. The Dvergs had the benefit of being much easier to learn and control. Plus, Dvergs weren’t limited in quantity, so countries all over the world were ordering them via Olba’s company.
Olba, ever the shrewd businessman, had predicted this demand in advance of the invasion and stocked up on a large supply of the Dverg units.
“Hmhm... My feelings on the matter are mixed, if I’m honest. It’s nice to make sales, but it’s sad that it’s necessary.”
Olba spoke humbly, but the way his ears twitched and his tail wagged betrayed the excitement inside him. He was clearly making an absolute fortune.
Given how well-known Dvergs were about to become across the world, I wondered if I should make a little model of them for the capsule machines. Dvergs were only being employed heavily on the eastern continent, though. On the western side, the brunt of the work was being done by industrial-scale factory model Gollems. I’d headed up to Babylon’s hangar, and found myself glancing at all the lined up Frame Gears.
“Guess we won’t be using them much anymore, huh?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Just as I was feeling a little sentimental, Doc Babylon appeared, puffing on her e-cig. Her oversized lab coat trailed behind her.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“It’d be easier if I just showed you.”
She pulled out a couple of transparent boards around the size of a notepad each. One had blue dots on it, while the other had red dots on it. They kind of looked like glass panels with polka dot designs on them. I wasn’t entirely sure what it was I was looking at.
“Let’s say this one here is our world. And this other is Elluka and Fenrir’s world. Well, it doesn’t really matter which world represents which, anyway... The colored dots are areas with a high concentration of magical energy, now look what happens when they overlap...”
She took both of the panels and placed them atop each other. Some of the polka dots on the map changed to purple spots where the red and blue intersected, leading me to immediately understand what she meant.
“Right. These purple spots are going to be massive mana wells. You’d probably call them mana reservoirs, really. Now the two worlds have coalesced, we’ve got quite a few of these on our hands. And you know what that means, right?”
“Behemoths...”
Behemoths were regular monsters that were exposed to abnormal amounts of magical energy, resulting in them growing to terrifying sizes. Typically, these mana wells would only appear in dense forests, deep under the ocean, or at the peaks of high mountains. The Behemoths born from these instances rarely caused issues for humanity. But even a single Behemoth near a human settlement could be catastrophic.
Palerius Island was once so filled with Behemoths that the people living there needed to keep a constant vigil for their own safety. According to the map display I was looking at, these supercharged mana reservoirs were now all over the place.
“I can’t say it means Behemoths are just gonna start showing up today, though. There’ll already be Behemoths at the sites where the mana wells were originally, anyway. It’ll take a few more years for Behemoths to be born at the new sites, too. Plus, Behemoths fight amongst themselves already. All we need to do is monitor these areas and take action when needed.”
In case it wasn’t completely obvious, a mana well wouldn’t dry up just from the creation of a single Behemoth. Multiple Behemoths could be born to the same species in the same area, which would often result in territorial battles that ended up with one or more dead. That ended up being a more natural method of keeping their numbers culled. However, the surviving Behemoths did end up being pretty strong...
“So you’re saying we need to keep our Frame Gears on standby, eh?”
“Right. Also, that world barrier of yours still hasn’t been fixed, has it? There’s no guarantee our world is safe from extraterrestrial invaders in the meantime. The Phrase could have simply been the first.”
I didn’t really want to think about that.
According to the other gods, I had sufficient divinity to fix up the world barrier, but my sisters told me that if I screwed up I could end up causing an even worse situation. Since the Phrase invasion incident so heavily involved a wicked god, God Almighty was going to let one of his guys fix the barrier. Because there hadn’t been a god assigned to this world before me, they weren’t really allowed to interfere. But now that I was in charge, it was apparently okay to patch it up.
In other words, I couldn’t fix it myself for fear of screwing up, but I could ask some of the gods I knew for their help. There was only one issue. None of the ones I knew seemed to have the ability to fix the barrier, either.
Moroha, Karina, and Takeru were definitely not viable options. Karen and Suika didn’t exactly seem the types for it, either. There was Kousuke and Sousuke to consider, but their areas of expertise were pretty far removed from something so intricate. Gods like them were specialists in one particular field, and they basically sucked at everything that wasn’t in their jurisdiction.
God Almighty told me that he’d send someone to help me out at some point... I just had to hope it was someone who wasn’t a raging maniac or a peculiar eccentric.
I headed back down from Babylon and caught my phone ringing in my pocket. I raised a brow at the caller ID. It was Silhouette of the Black Cats. I wondered what she wanted.
She wanted to discuss something with me, so I headed to the Strain Kingdom’s main commerce city, since that’s where her HQ was. The city was the second-largest in Strain, and it was home to Silhouette’s Moon Parlor, which also doubled as a base for Black Cat activity.
It was noon so the neon lights weren’t blaring, but the place looked gaudy as ever... Given that it was a brothel, that wasn’t too surprising.
“I wonder what she wants, I do...”
“Hmph... Better safe than sorry...”
Yae and Hilde were clinging to either side of me. There was an unspoken rule among me and my fiancees that stated I needed to be accompanied by at least one girl whenever I was called out here.
I could understand it, given that even I felt pretty seedy visiting a location like the Moon Parlor. The place smelled like sex, and had a totally shady atmosphere... Now and then, I’d see half-dressed girls walking through the hallways, too.
The beefy bouncer outside the entryway bowed his head and let me in right away. It was a little bit disgraceful that a brothel bouncer recognized me enough to let me in, given I was supposed to be royalty... I decided to ask Silhouette to meet me elsewhere next time, since I didn’t want any rumors of me being a brothel patron getting out. At least having Yae and Hilde with me helped combat the idea a bit.
We made it to Silhouette’s office on the top floor, only to be greeted by a black panther and a little black cat outside the door. The panther was a summoned beast that Silhouette had called forth with my help a while back. If I recalled correctly he was an elemental creature, a lightning panther.
“This way, Grand Duke.”
The lightning panther (Shade, I think his name was?) led us toward his master. Shade was a particular kind of beast that could also communicate, so that was pretty handy.
Silhouette sat in her office, sipping a cup of tea.
“Welcome, my friend. Oho, you’ve brought different girls this time, have you? You must be quite the vigorous man.”
Silhouette grinned slightly as Yae and Hilde exchanged worried looks. I wished she wouldn’t tease my fiancees, because I was the one who had to deal with them afterward...
She invited us to sit on a nearby couch, so we complied and immediately got down to brass tacks.
“I was thinking of expanding the influence of the Black Cats to an international level.”
“Uh... I thought you guys were already international.”
“Ahh, sorry. I meant intercontinental, I wish to expand our operations to your nations in the east.”
In terms of intercontinental travel, far more people visited the eastern continent from the west than vice versa. This was because people from the eastern continent only really had ships (at varying speeds, some of the faster ones employed wind mages to create favorable gales), while those on the western continents had flying machines and transportation Gollems as well as ships. I also speculated that the differences in culture contributed to this emigration difference. The western continent, the former Reverse World, is home to a naturally curious people who wished to learn more about magic. On the other hand, the people of the eastern continent were very cautious when it came to all this strange magitech stuff from the west.
The very idea of Gollems, which were effectively powerful artifacts, being part of daily life was a confusing thing for them to wrap their heads around. Basically, the westerners were actively seeking to interact with the east, while the easterners were still a little bit apprehensive. Silhouette seemed to be especially eager to expand her own influence.
“So you’re saying you want to start opening brothels in the east?”
“I sure do. Some regular inns, too. We’re trying to run a proper business and all that. My methods are complex. We want you to speak to the countries on our behalf. I’d rather avoid a Zabbit situation repeating.”
Zabbit? Oh, right... That guy from Papillon who kept harassing Silhouette, or whatever.
I remembered seeing him in Allent’s capital city once. He was hassling some orphanage there but he ended up fleeing.
I could understand why Silhouette was trying to make it as a legitimate business. Brothels were often easy targets for criminal underworld types, so it made sense she’d want to avoid any existing crime families trying to integrate her business into theirs.
“So what exactly do you want me to ask, here?”
“I want you to get approval from the monarchs in the east. I’m sure the inns will be no issue, though there may be trouble with the brothel permission.”
Quite understandably, too. Brothels tended to be used as fronts for other sketchy activities, like under-the-table loans or human trafficking. Many brothels were home to trafficked or kidnapped women, too. Though in Silhouette’s case, many of the girls were quite high on the social ladder and simply enjoyed sex work. Problematic customers were also ejected from the premises pretty rapidly.
There were even talks about starting up a brothel in Brunhild’s castle town... I considered it a necessary evil, since readily-available sex establishments would decrease the rate of criminal sexual assault. Either way, it was a bit of a pickle.
“I don’t think the inns will be an issue, yeah. The brothels are gonna have to depend on each country’s personal policies. You definitely won’t get one in the Ramissh Theocracy, I can tell you that much right away. As for us... Would you be opposed to Brunhild’s government managing it?”
I squirmed slightly as the two girls either side of me swiveled and glared. It’s not like that! I don’t wanna build one because I want to make use of it or anything...
“Well, I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out. Anyway, now we can move on to the main matter of discussion.”
Huh? That wasn’t what you even called me over for? Just how opportunistic are you?!
“As you know, we still have ties to some of Papillon’s old less-than-scrupulous ventures, and that includes the black market. We found something of particular interest there a while ago.”
Silhouette produced a hefty old parchment-paged tome and laid it out on the table. It looked so old I was surprised it hadn’t crumbled away into dust.
“This book is known as Shuraf’s Encounters. It’s the autobiography of a man named Shuraf Sikes, a priest in Dauburn from long ago. This book contains the truth behind Dauburn and Zadonia’s conflict.”
“Huh? You serious?”
The Nation of Ice, Zadonia, was the long-time enemy of the Nation of Fire, Dauburn. They weren’t entirely sure why they were enemies, but the reason was apparently contained in this book.
“I’ll cut to the chase. Public knowledge dictates that each country thinks the other stole their offering to the gods, yes? This book states that the offering was never stolen at all. It was never even made to begin with.”
I remembered hearing about an offering, and apparently, the offering was supposed to be a live sacrifice. According to High Priest Shuraf’s writings, Dauburn was approached by a fire god (like just a powerful spirit) and told to offer up the king’s son as a living sacrifice. But the king didn’t want to give up his son. He told the god that his son had been stolen away by Zadonia, in the hopes that the sacrifice would be called off.
“So he blamed the other country, huh.”
“Indeed. He must have thought that Zadonia would face the god’s wrath instead of Dauburn if he shifted the blame to them. But, by unfortunate coincidence, a god of ice appeared in Zadonia and asked for the king’s son as well. The king of Zadonia, not wanting to give up his child, did the exact same thing the king of Dauburn did... He blamed the other country.”
That was definitely a terrible coincidence; I couldn’t believe both sides tried to evade the sacrifice in such a ridiculous way. That made the situation even stupider to me.
“Ultimately, the gods took their wrath out on the countries for the missing sacrifices, so nothing changed. Zadonia became a frozen wasteland, while Dauburn became a blazing hell. Then, the gods left. The truth was only known to the upper echelons of each nation, and obviously, they’d never reveal the truth of what they allowed to happen. Shuraf, the Dauburnian priest who was entrusted with the secret, didn’t like having to keep it to himself. It’s no surprise, really, given that the lies led to years and years of conflict between the two nations. This book is likely the result of him no longer wanting to keep it on his conscience.”
It definitely wasn’t surprising that the priest was so disturbed by the secret, since it resulted in so much bloodshed and needless conflict. Personally, I was weirded out by these gods (who were likely just spirits) who asked for human sacrifices. I doubted that I’d get any information from asking the current Flame and Ice Spirits, but I figured it’d be worth following up on at some point.
“Either way, I doubt the countries care about the origins of their animosity anymore. Shuraf’s Encounters was found in an old spirit church in the Allent Theocracy. It was written in Holy Spirit Script, likely to obscure the contents, and it almost worked, too. Nobody in the current era can really read it. I doubt the current royal families of either country know about the truth, either.”
That made sense enough to me, since it was never meant to be published or anything. It was basically the priest guy’s diary, something he never wanted people to actually read. If he had written it in an easier language, he might’ve been able to stop the conflict... But I had a feeling that revealing the truth would have definitely made him an enemy of both states.
“So how come we only just found the book?”
“We didn’t. I’ve had this book for quite some time. The only issue was deciphering the contents. But, a short time ago, I had the perfect opportunity to read it.”
“Huh? What do you—? Oh. Now I get it.”
Silhouette’s grin made me realize how she’d been able to read the book. It was the Mochizuki Touya app. She likely used it to access the [Reading] Null spell. The app included a little readme file with a list of available Null spells, after all. The app was no longer in service, but apparently, she’d managed to fit in some light reading while it was still active. That made me wonder what others around the world might have done before their app usage ran out...
About two days elapsed between the defeat of the Phrase invasion and the end of the app’s service... Who knows what they could’ve achieved in that time...
“S-So... you need Touya-dono’s help, you do?”
“Well, Touya. You’re known for your mediation abilities between nations at this point. I want you to resolve the conflict between Zadonia and Dauburn. A lot of my workers actually come from those countries. The children of that country struggle to survive, and those that grow up to be adults are deployed for pointless warfare. Given that the cause of such suffering for many of my girls is something so ridiculous, I’d rather have it all cleared up.”
“She’s right, Touya... If the royal families of the two countries don’t even know why they’re fighting anymore, then this is just senseless violence...”
Hilde frowned as she spoke. As a royal herself, she clearly had strong opinions on this. I couldn’t blame her, a king shouldn’t make his people suffer, much less for generations.
Personally, I didn’t really think it was my place as a grand duke to interfere in national disputes. Plus, as this world’s custodian, I only really had to interfere when something could threaten the structural integrity of the planet. That being said, this world was soon to become a vacation spot for the divine. An argument could be made that having this world remain as peaceful as possible would make it a better destination.
God Almighty told me to work my hardest with this planet so that I could look back on it at the end and pridefully say that it was the best world it could be. Even if I didn’t have any obligation to deal with this conflict, it would likely be for the best if I did.
“Alright, then. I’ll give it a shot. At the very least, I should be able to undo the harsh environmental magic in each country.”
“Hurray, Touya-dono!”
“Ah, thank goodness... The people will be saved, after all!”
Yae and Hilde smiled widely, heaving sighs of relief. Personally, I felt they were celebrating a little prematurely. It wasn’t like I’d done anything yet.
The main issue would be convincing the royal families that Shuraf’s Encounters was a legitimate testament... They’d likely see it as me coming in as an outsider and wanting them to admit their own family’s mistakes. I didn’t think it was a mistake to reject a demand for human sacrifice, though. In fact, rejecting a god (or at least something posing as one) took a hell of a lot of bravery.
However, it was their fear of retribution that caused them to shirk the blame off to the other nation, and their own cowardly attitudes are what ultimately caused their countries to become cursed. Then they continued peddling a false narrative until the truth was lost to time. In my opinion, that was the biggest mistake of all. As a result, the two countries had been constantly butting heads for the last several hundred years...
Either way, the best course of action now was to speak with the Flame and Ice Spirits. In the worst case, I could get them to come down to earth and pose as the fake gods that the countries had worshiped in the past.
“Thank you so much for your help in this matter. That being said, I’m not entirely sure how it’ll work out... Their hatred really runs deep. Whenever they meet to sign ceasefires or treaties, they get so heated that they never actually get around to the signing. It’s just a lot of screaming and shouting.”
Hearing that didn’t exactly make me hopeful. I wondered if maybe I should just abduct the two kings and let them duke it out until they were satisfied. I often found that older people were too set in their ways, so perhaps talking to their children would be the best way to patch up this matter.
Still, the time for pondering had passed. I had to live up to my reputation and end the conflict. My first stop on this new journey would be the spirit realm. We waved our goodbyes to Silhouette and left the Moon Parlor.
“Huh? I asked for a human sacrifice? That doesn’t sound like me...”
“Doesn’t sound like me either... But it wasn’t really us, anyway, it was a previous incarnation from hundreds of years ago...” The Flame Spirit sighed softly as she spoke, as did the Ice Spirit by her side.
I’d entered the spirit realm to try and get more answers, but the two of them were pretty vague. Reasonable, given they had no memories of the era I was trying to learn more about.
“Would you girls maybe know anyone who knew you back then?”
“Um... You’ll probably wanna hit up Fire Sis for that. I think she used to know my old self.”
“Same here, but with Her Wateriness. I think she was quite close with my older incarnation.”
The Fire and Water Spirits, eh? Guess that makes sense, the pillar spirits take longer to reincarnate, after all.
I warped to another area of the spirit realm. The spirit realm had previously been a formless milky-colored void with glimmering lights in the distance, but now there were hunks of land floating around. They were like teeny tiny planets, really.
I asked the Earth Spirit to make them, since occupying a completely empty space always felt weird for me. Pillar spirits sure were incredible, though; she managed to form these tiny planets in no time at all. After they were created, spirits started to settle on them and claim little areas for their own. As I touched down on one of the larger mini-planets, the Earth Spirit rose from the ground to greet me.
“It has been some time, milord. Come with me.”
The Earth Spirit had the same kind of dazzling green hair as the forest spirit from the sea of trees, it shimmered as she smiled and turned to lead me into a wooded area. There was an open clearing inside the woodland, with a charming little pavilion built inside. The Fire Spirit and the Water Spirit were sitting by a table, teacups in hand. They certainly got along well for being opposing elements. But, if I recalled correctly, the Light Spirit and the Dark Spirit were also sisters. Perhaps this was just a case of opposites attracting, or maybe them being two halves of the same coin.
Either way, I needed to focus on my primary objective here. I explained the general gist of Zadonia and Dauburn’s conflict and the fact that it was likely to do with the previous incarnations of the Flame Spirit and the Ice Spirit.
“Huh?! A living sacrifice? No way my little flamey would do something like that! The last flame incarnation was about the same as the current one, honestly. Though she could get a little... HOT-TEMPERED. Ahahaha!”
“...Quite. The same should be said of the Ice Spirit. I’m sure she wouldn’t have done something so heinous. It doesn’t seem right.”
“What, seriously...? Then maybe there’s a misunderstanding somewhere...”
The answers the Spirit of Fire and the Spirit of Water had given me were even more confusing. If the spirits hadn’t demanded human sacrifices, then I couldn’t begin to think how this had all started... Before I could start pondering again, the Fire Spirit spoke up once more.
“Oh, come to think of it... around five hundred years back, I remember the Flame Spirit being really mad... She was raging because she’d found someone suited to become a spirit medium, but something went wrong... I think?”
“A spirit medium?”
“Basically a mortal with a strong spiritual side. They can bond with a spirit and even manifest the spirit within them; they’re quite exceptional and rare people. I’d say they’re about a tier above regular spirit contractors in terms of potential.”
The Earth Spirit answered my query.
Manifesting...? Like possession or something? That’s pretty interesting, I imagine that’d let them make full use of a spirit’s power, too.
“So wait... When the spirits demanded a sacrifice, you don’t think they meant...”
“Yeah. She probably wanted the king’s kid to be a medium for her. Spirit tongue isn’t well understood by people who aren’t capable of contracting with us, so it’s possible they misunderstood what she was asking...”
The Fire Spirit patted her hands together as everything clicked into place.
Ugh... So I guess she meant to say something like, “Please give me your child so I can use them as a spirit medium,” and they probably only heard the “give me your child” part...
“Ah, I see now. And when each of the spirits asked why the kings refused to hand over their children, they were lied to... We spirits can read human emotion, so we can tell when we’re being deceived. It wouldn’t be unusual for those two spirits to become upset after being so brazenly lied to after a simple request...”
The Water Spirit nodded slowly as she spoke. It all made sense now. The spirits had simply offered to grant power to the children of the two kings, and they were instead met with strange, nonsensical lies. Their anger wasn’t exactly unreasonable in that case. They probably saw a lot of lost potential in the two princes.
Plus, since they could read human emotions, they probably knew that the kings had the intention of using the spirit’s power to punish the other country. That probably didn’t help their moods one bit.
“Damn... If there hadn’t been a misunderstanding, the kings probably would’ve agreed.”
I was sure they would’ve jumped at the chance to make their children powerful spiritual mediums. If it was a more magically advanced society instead of the Reverse World, they might have had people around who could better decipher what the spirits were saying... This was all basically the equivalent of butt-dialing someone and hearing muffled parts out of context.
Still, now I knew enough to get a feel for the actual truth of the situation. Whether or not the two countries would believe it was another matter entirely. And even if they did believe it, they’d have to swallow their national pride in order to accept it.
The situation was difficult, but I resolved to go and meet the two kings.
I’d never actually interacted with Dauburn or Zadonia before, so I decided to find a third party to bridge the gap between me and them. I settled on the Allent Theocracy, since it bordered both nations. Plus, Allent was a nation that revered spirits as divine, and has had a long history of worshiping them. The country had never had any direct contact with pillar spirits, though.
“Ah, yes, we have a history of accepting refugees from both Zadonia and Dauburn. The lessons they brought with them have taught us to be very careful when dealing with the sanctity of the great spirits. B-But... Touya, are you truly capable of summoning the great pillars?”
“Yep, sure can. Want me to do it now?”
“N-No! Th-That’s okay! That’s quite okay!”
Allent’s holy king went pale in the face as I spoke. I wasn’t surprised that he’d gotten so surprised. Pillar spirits were a far realm above regular ones, after all.
We were riding in a Gollem carriage straight toward Dauburn’s blazing capital city, Burn. I looked out the window and saw nothing but desert for miles and miles. It was just an endless stretch of sand. There was the occasional oasis, likely the result of the spirit’s residual power being weaker in that area.
The Gollem carriage we were in wasn’t wheeled, either. It was a specialized multi-legged carriage, like the one used by Mr. Sancho when I first met him. It was an all-terrain vehicle that made traveling across sand a total breeze. The tips of its legs had been fitted with flat parts to prevent sinking, but the jostling for everyone inside honestly got pretty bad at times.
I’d stopped by briefly in Dauburn and Zadonia before via my [Fly] spell, so I could have easily just warped us there... But I didn’t think suddenly appearing in the nations would be good from a diplomatic introduction perspective.
I didn’t really think the journey would be this bad though... I think I’m gonna barf...
“[Refresh]... Hrk...”
Are you alright, my lord??
Yeah, I’ll be okay... Just gotta keep applying [Refresh] to myself...?
Kohaku, in her tiger cub form, looked merry as ever as she sat by my side. Apparently summoned beasts didn’t get motion sickness.
“I must admit, Grand Duke Touya... I’m not entirely sure if we’ll be welcomed warmly. We have a relationship with Dauburn and Zadonia, but I wouldn’t say we’re friendly.”
Two other Gollem carriages were traveling with us. One was in front and one behind. It was only natural to bring escorts with us, since we were two world leaders heading toward a country that could be described as neutral at best. Other than Kohaku, I’d brought along Nikola from our knight order, as well as five knights. They were all in the carriage behind us, though I feared they’d be getting motion sickness, too.
“I don’t mind if they’re not friendly, I just need to talk to their king. Everything that happens from there depends on them, really. I promise I won’t cause Allent any issues with this, though.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine... You’re the hero who vanquished that wicked god, after all. I can’t say that King Dauburn will be the most accommodating of men, but I suppose in the worst-case scenario you’d just crush the country or something...”
Dude, c’mon... Don’t just assume I’d handle it so easily! It’s not like I’d just take them out with a couple petty insults or anything.
Still, there were definitely some world leaders who needed a good foot up their asses, like that piggish king from Sandora. I hoped that Dauburn’s leader wasn’t anything like that jackass.
We finally arrived at Burn, the blazing city, before passing through a fanciful arch and heading toward the castle. The city looked quite like Mismede’s capital. The buildings were all constructed in a similar mudbrick style. But if I were to compare the two places, I’d say that the people here looked a lot more lethargic. Everyone had bags under their eyes, a symbol of the psychological toll the generations-long conflict against Zadonia must have been taking on them.
Rag-clad children sat in the shadows of buildings, looking forlornly at their own feet. If you asked me, the lack of smiling children was a damning indictment of this nation’s failings.
Dauburn’s royal castle was built by the bank of a large oasis. It looked very old and was constructed from layered bricks, with no fancy spires or anything like that. It wasn’t especially gaudy or even pretty, but the sturdy construction gave off a powerful vibe.
Once we made it through the castle gate, we kept on going a little while before stopping in front of a fountain. I let the holy king get out first, then hopped out of the carriage with Kohaku. It was crazy hot! The Gollem carriage had air conditioning, so it was almost like stepping out of heaven straight into hell. It wasn’t a humid heat like Japan’s, either. It was a dry heat.
I decided to secretly use a water spell called [Cooling] on myself; that definitely helped. A burly man in red leather armor came to greet us. Next to him stood an elderly man in a red robe. Dauburnian soldiers wielding red spears stood by their red Gollems, all lined up either side of us as we walked up the mudbrick steps. It felt like they were putting on a display, like peacocks. I wondered if the gaudy red show was meant to intimidate us or something.
“A fine welcome to Dauburn, Holy King Allent. And... you must be Brunhild’s grand duke, yes?”
“That’s right. My name’s Mochizuki Touya. It’s a pleasure to meet with you, and thank you for allowing us passage.”
The beefy armored guy, who was probably some kind of general or military leader, raised a surprised brow as I spoke.
“Is something wrong?”
“No, I uh... You just speak pretty humbly for a king... Uh, sorry for the rudeness.”
“I started off as an adventurer, so I don’t really feel the need to hold myself above other people. Maybe I should apologize for not acting royally enough, ahaha.”
The military man almost went wide-eyed at my response, but he shot back a grin toward me. Apparently, he liked my style.
He looked like he was almost forty or so. He had short black hair and light brown eyes, and a scar ran along his jawline. He definitely seemed to be some kind of military veteran, he didn’t strike me as someone who was highborn. He’d probably worked his way up the ranks from a common background.
“Well, let me properly welcome you to Dauburn. I’m Glenn, general of Dauburn’s principal army.”
“Nice to meet you, General Glenn.”
He didn’t list his surname, which meant he definitely wasn’t a noble. After a moment of pause, the old man by Glenn’s side bowed his head to me.
“And I am Dauburn’s prime minister, Rosso Phoenix. A pleasure to meet you.”
The old man, Rosso, seemed like he was about to lose his glasses when he bowed his head. He deftly pushed them back up his nose. He was clearly of noble birth, which made sense for a prime minister. I couldn’t read much from the old guy’s expressions. There was no smile on his face or warmth in his actions. He just seemed to be acting out of duty.
“Now, if you’ll follow me. His Royal Highness is waiting.” The holy king and I followed after Rosso and Glenn, while Kohaku trailed behind me a little. Behind her were Nikola and my knights, along with the holy knights of Allent and their silver Gollems.
The castle’s interior was much like the exterior, built solidly and non-flashy. It was quite charming, in all honesty... But I couldn’t help but feel like the place was a little bit run-down and weathered. It kind of made you think maybe the place should be closed for renovations, or at the very least reminded you of its age.
The country definitely felt like one struggling with poverty, which made sense. Between the constant skirmishes, the scorching heat, and the poor international relations, it was obvious they wouldn’t be blossoming. No matter how things turned out between me and the king, I was going to get the flame spirit to do something about the environmental disasters here.
We made it to a doorway deep within the castle halls, where two red Gollems stood. They opened the door, and Glenn stopped to lean on a nearby wall. Apparently, this was as far as he could go.
The large room had a long table in the middle, which was adorned with candlesticks and flowers. I noticed some noble-garbed men standing by a great throne, along with some rougher men who wore armor similar to Glenn’s. They were likely the top brass of the nation.
At the far end of the room, atop the throne, was a man. He looked to be in his late forties, and he had facial hair that covered both his upper lip and his jawline. His head was adorned with a piece of cloth bound by a band. If I remembered correctly, it was an Arabic headdress known as a keffiyeh. His clothes were clearly of fine making, a flowing robe embroidered with red and gold stitching, along with a stomach-warming strap tied around his rotund belly. A gold-plated dagger sat about his waist.
The man was none other than the king of Dauburn, Jaharade Bier Dauburn. Seated right by his side was a younger man dressed in similar attire. If I had to guess, I’d say he was around twenty years of age. He had a keffiyeh on his head, and his skin was dark, though not as dark as his eyes. Much like the king, he wore a golden dagger about his waist. He was likely the prince.
“A warm welcome to Dauburn, Holy King of Allent and Grand Duke of Brunhild. What little we have to offer in terms of hospitality is all yours.”
King Dauburn gestured for us to sit down. He had a smile on his face, but I could tell he was trying to ascertain our intentions. I could understand his suspicions; I was fairly young to be ruling a country, after all.
The holy king and I sat at the other end of the long table, which left quite an amount of space between us and our host...
“Now then, what can we do for you? I assume you’ve come with a purpose?”
The king of Dauburn immediately cut to the chase. He clearly wanted to know what my intentions were with him, and it was fairly obvious he was only entertaining me because I’d come with Allent’s backing.
Either way, I didn’t forget my purpose. I began explaining Shuraf’s account, and the truth I’d uncovered about the conflict between Dauburn and Zadonia. As I continued speaking, I could see the government officials growing angrier and angrier with me. Eventually, one of the men, a military leader with a thick mustache, crashed his fist into the table and looked at me with raging eyes.
“How dare you! Did you come here to mock us?! Our land is cursed because those monsters in Zadonia stole our offering to our god! How dare you come here and act as an apologist for them! Did they send you with this seditious material?!”
“No, listen. It’s a misunderstanding, that’s what I’m saying. The king from back then simply misunderstood the god’s wishes and thought it wanted a live sacrifice, it’s just—”
“Enough with this sacrilege! How dare you insult our leader’s ancestry! You think some backwater duke can charge in here and attempt to shame us into submission?! Did you think we’d let you go unscathed for such an affront?!”
The furious man reached for his sheathed scimitar, prompting Nikola and my knights to reach for their own.
I quickly raised a hand, telling my soldiers to stand down. I looked back at the angered military man. He was glaring at me pretty intensely, but I was actually kinda mad, too. I didn’t appreciate him calling me backwater, or acting like I was an unfit leader.
“Let me start over from the top. There was no god, it was a powerful spirit. The ruler of this country back then misinterpreted its demands, shifted the blame to the other country, and misled the people. I’m not holding any of you accountable for that, it’s hardly your fault. Zadonia did the exact same thing. I wanted to bring the truth to you, in the hopes that the two countries would learn to get along better.”
“Pah! You suggest we join hands with Zadonian vermin?!”
“Don’t make us laugh, you child! Why would we ever want to bridge connections with those lowlives?!”
“Like we’d ever forgive those thieves.”
The roaring members of government gradually gave way to the king, who rose from his seat.
“Grand Duke... I must admit you surprised and interested me with your topic today. However, you’ve crossed a line. There is a saying in our country that says the new recruit who talks too much will not have a long career. Those who stick their necks out to butt in may find that neck slit. Understand?”
I definitely understood. There were a few phrases like that back home. In general, there was safety in silence.
“Zadonia is our oldest foe. We cannot make peace with them. Only when Zadonia, the country of thieves who stole from us, is vanquished, can we know peace.”
“And when will that be? Ten years? A hundred? Has your history of war brought either nation anything but tragedy? If you keep this up, both of your countries will be ruined.”
“Enough of your insolence, boy!”
The mustached man stepped in front of the king, roaring out in fury as he drew his blade and charged toward me.
“General Jhaghil, stop this at once!”
The general ignored the words of his young prince, and recklessly swung his blade at me.
“Kohaku.”
As you command.?
Kohaku, who had been curled up by my feet, instantly transformed into her true form and let out an immensely intimidating war cry.
“Gh-Gheeh?!”
The charging general was blasted backward by Kohaku’s shockwave. Kohaku’s true form sparked fear in the government officials, who stood up from their chairs in a panic. Glenn, who’d been standing by outside, charged into the room after hearing the sudden commotion.
“Your general drew his weapon first. All I did was retaliate, and non-lethally. I will not apologize for what just happened.”
“This only happened because of your provocation, boy!”
“Father, stop this at once!”
The prince’s words caused the king to briefly come to his senses, and he took out his frustration by bashing a fist against the table. I couldn’t believe how bad their manners were. Were they trying to start an intercontinental war? The prince clearly had a better grasp of the situation than his father and the others.
“I didn’t come in to provoke you. I only spoke the truth I uncovered. Even if this story about the misunderstanding is false, do you legitimately believe that constantly keeping your country at war with Zadonia is the right thing to do? Do you understand that your people are struggling just to survive? Don’t you realize that if Allent wanted to invade your territory and take it, they could likely do it with no resistance at all?”
“H-Hey now, don’t pull me into it, Grand Duke...”
The holy king smiled softly and shook his head. It definitely wouldn’t be hard for Allent to conquer Dauburn, though. All they’d have to do is tell Zadonia to make a joint attack and that’d basically be manageable with little major effort. The opposite would be true for Zadonia’s case as well. That was why it was painfully obvious that they kept a neutral relationship with Allent in order to placate the holy king. The country reeked of desperation.
“Ghhh...”
The reality of the situation was reflected on King Dauburn’s face. He clearly wasn’t blind to the things I’d said. Silhouette had told me that he was a short-tempered and short-sighted man who didn’t think of future consequences. Given that his meetings with Zadonia always turned into yelling contests, it was likely that the king of Zadonia was the same type of man.
If I was the king, I’d punish the general who tried to slash me, and formally apologize about the incident. But I had a feeling he’d do something more stupid, like point over at me and yell...
“Arrest these interlopers!”
Which was exactly what he did. I wondered if he intended to arrest the holy king as well.
“[Prison].”
“Gwuh?!”
“Buh?!”
The Dauburnian soldiers smashed into the wall of the magic barrier around me and fell to the ground. The knights from Allent were surprised to find themselves encased in the barrier, but Nikola and my knights were perfectly calm about it. It was kind of funny how they’d just gotten used to this kind of thing.
“At any rate, we’re off to Zadonia now. I’d appreciate it if you took what I just brought up into consideration.”
“Hm?! You’re going to invade our nation alongside Zadonia and Allent, then?!”
“Dude, do you have mud bricks where your brain should be? We’re just going to tell them the same story we told you. Try focusing on your own country’s welfare before worrying about the activities of others.”
“Grr... You little brat...!”
King Dauburn gnashed his teeth together in fury as his fists clenched hard. He was quite the character. The holy king let out a small sigh as he watched King Dauburn’s hissy fit.
“King Dauburn, please take it from me. You’d do well to listen to his words. We do not intend to bring harm to your nation, but things hinge on you right now. Will you be known as a wise or foolish leader in the history books? Now is the time for that to be decided.”
With that, we stood up from our seats and left the room. The [Prison] around us only blocked hostile people or Gollems, so we walked out of it without a hitch.
After we left the room, General Glenn followed after us to bow his head. It seemed like the country still had some good men in it, at least. To me, that made stopping this war even more important.
Just as I was about to get back into the Gollem carriage, I turned toward the voice of hurried footsteps behind me.
“P-Please wait a moment!”
For a brief second, I thought we were being pursued by soldiers, but it was just the young prince. General Glenn was by his side.
“Yes?”
“Please, I must ask you forgive my father for his attitude. I have a request to make of you. If you are headed to Zadonia, please take me!”
“Huh?” I raised my brow before glancing at the holy king. His brow was raised as well. I had assumed everyone in the top brass of Dauburn would view Zadonia as an enemy, so him asking to go there was peculiar.
“Prince Hakim, we are headed to Zadonia to discuss the same issue we just brought up with your father. Are you certain you wish to come with us, even knowing that the king of Zadonia may have the same reaction as your father?”
“I am certain, Holy King. I want to put a stop to this war. In order to do that, I must understand the other side. There must be people in Zadonia who feel the way I do. It is my hope I can come with you to meet them.”
That was definitely interesting. The prince was clearly more forward-thinking than his father. I glanced over at Glenn, who gave me a small nod. The two of them certainly seemed serious, at the very least.
“Say uh... Holy King, won’t Dauburn claim we kidnapped their prince or something?”
“Why worry about that now, Grand Duke? The Dauburnians effectively declared war on us just now, anyway.”
The holy king raised a fair point. I didn’t exactly care about forging peaceful relations with Zadonia at that point, anyway. They needed time to cool their heads before I’d talk peace with them.
“Alright, then. General Glenn, do you want to come as his guard? I won’t let him get hurt, but I thought I’d offer anyway.”
“Aye, if that’s permissible.”
Then it was settled. I was a little worried we’d have a formation of soldiers coming after us, so I snapped my fingers and opened up a [Gate] beneath our feet, moving us along with the Gollem carriages to another location.
After a moment of falling, we found ourselves in an environment much like the sprawling desert we’d been in not too long ago. Except it was all snow instead of sand.
Damn, that’s surprisingly bright... Man, my eyes are— Aaagh! It’s so cold!
I quickly cast the [Warming] spell on everyone, because our asses were about to freeze off.
It was quite the sudden shock to have scorching heat turn to blistering cold in the span of a second, but we were now in Zadonian territory. We’d contacted Zadonia in advance, so now all we had to do was hop into the Gollem carriages and make our way to the capital city, Zado.
“Gwuh?!”
The bald general was blasted backward by Kohaku’s shockwave. Part of me started to think that Zadonia and Dauburn could probably get along really well; they were shockingly similar.
“You little brat! How dare you speak ill of my great country!”
The king of Zadonia was as thin as a beanpole, which made him largely unintimidating despite his yelling. He had white hair, an equally white mustache-and-beard, and wore a silver rapier about his waist. A bulky cape flowed down his back, embroidered with fine blue and silver threads. The prince of Zadonia, Frost, sat by his side with a frown on his face. He was a pale-skinned young man who wore the same cape as his father. He had silvery hair and piercing almond eyes. Honestly, he was the very vision of a fairytale prince... in all the ways the pumpkin-pants prince of Panaches was not.
Prince Frost, incidentally, had been the one to guide us to the meeting room. He was quite the friendly young lad, and warmly shook Prince Hakim’s hand upon learning his identity. The friendly gesture had certainly shocked General Glenn.
I asked him about his surprising friendliness on the way to meet his father, and he explained that he felt similarly to Prince Hakim, and wanted to end the war that had plagued their nations for hundreds of years. But no matter how many times he advised his father to bring the war to an end, he never listened. Apparently, the king just yelled at him about it and ended the conversation.
That was why I could understand the frown he wore at the moment. After all, one of their generals had just tried to charge at me, even though I was a friendly envoy from another country. His father hadn’t done anything to calm the situation down, either. I’d be ashamed, too.
“Father! Don’t you see? We must make peace with Dauburn! Surely you must know that only the elderly nobles care about maintaining the grudges at this point. Our people are going hungry, they freeze to death in their homes, and for what? Our pride? Even if we conquer Dauburn, Zadonia will end up dying anyway!”
“Enough, son! Do you hear yourself? Where’s your Zadonian pride, eh? Our ancestors would be ashamed of you, lad! No backbone to speak of!”
“But if the grand duke is speaking the truth, then all of this is the fault of those ancestors to begin with! I’m ashamed of you, Father! For letting our people suffer for your pride!”
“You foolish child! To think you’d be so easily swayed by seditious materials!”
...Damn, they sure are arguing a lot here. There’s nothing seditious about what I said at all!
The king of Zadonia, much like the king of Dauburn, had a very short temper. He’d grabbed his son by the collar and looked like he was about to punch him. The son clearly had a similar temperament. He was glaring at his father as if to goad him into punching. I didn’t really feel it was my place to butt in, but I didn’t want to see anyone getting hurt on my account.
“[Teleport].”
“Whah?!”
The king’s punch met with thin air, causing him to stumble forward after his son vanished. Prince Frost was equally confused, having been warped to my side in an instant.
[Teleport] wasn’t supposed to be a spell that could affect things other than the caster, but I’d recently developed the ability to use it on objects and people in my line of sight, so long as they weren’t moving too quickly. This power was also somewhat limited, however. I could only move one thing at a time and I couldn’t move them very far. The power had likely come from my awakening as a proper god, or at least that was the only thing I could think of as the cause.
“Looks like Zadonia’s a lost cause, too. Can’t say I’m surprised, though.”
“M-Maybe there’s still a chance?”
The holy king tried to cheer me up, but I could sense the defeat in his tone.
“There’s not much to be done here. The kings clearly don’t care all that much about their ancestry. They’re just using it as an excuse to justify their personal grudges. It’s probably because they’ve been in constant conflict since they were young men.”
Personally, I’d have appreciated it if they just beat each other up one-on-one rather than keeping their entire countries at war. The hate they had for each other clearly ran deep, though. It was pretty obvious that neither wanted to stop until the other was utterly crushed... From what I’d heard in idle hearsay, the skirmishes between Dauburn and Zadonia had increased ever since the two men took their respective thrones.
Zadonia and Dauburn had many historical conflicts, but there were also periods of ceasefires or even something similar to neutrality between the two. During these periods, there was a tense kind of peace, and while no actual treaties were signed, it was clear the rulers back then hadn’t wanted to maintain war while their own citizens suffered.
However, these guys didn’t care about what happened to their people; it was a total mess. They were like a cat and a dog.
“They’re a little like Kohaku and Luli, actually...”
Please do not compare me to this...?
Kohaku sent me a telepathic protest when I muttered my thoughts. I felt bad, but I wasn’t exactly wrong. Either way, the king of Zadonia was in the middle of a fit, so I couldn’t see him talking to us any time soon. That was why I decided to do the next best thing.
“Hey. Prince Hakim, Prince Frost. Would you two like to discuss the future of your countries with me? I’ll set a venue for us to talk.”
The two princes glanced at me, then each other, and they nodded.
“We’d love to!” the two replied in unison. With that, I decided my business in Zadonia was concluded. Plus, I was starting to get annoyed at the Zadonian soldiers and Gollems bashing on the sides of the [Prison] I’d erected. They were noisy as hell.
“Hold it! Just what do you intend to do with my boy, hm? Sell him out to Dauburn?!”
“Father, you’re clearly incapable of forming proper sentences right now. If you won’t look to the future for this country, then I will in your stead.”
“Silence, you selfish little whelp! You’d do well to keep quiet and do as I command!”
“Shut up, old man! You gotta quit treating me like a little boy!”
The duo started bickering again. I definitely felt for the prince, but I also understood the king’s perspective. His son would always, at least a little bit, be his little boy in his eyes.
“The time for talking is clearly over. Grand Duke, Holy King, take me with you!”
Prince Frost grumpily turned around and headed out the door. He clearly had a short fuse, too... Like father, like son.
“Coldie, you can accompany us.”
“Aye.”
Prince Frost nodded as he spoke to a man in silvery-blue armor. The man bowed his head and followed after the prince. He was the prince’s personal knight, Coldie. He’d been with the prince when he guided us to the meeting room. He didn’t speak very much and seemed to be in his forties. He gave off the vibe of a calm old man, but according to General Glenn, he was a brutal swordsman known as Zadonia’s Shiverblade. He certainly seemed to care more about the prince than the king, though.
We all left the meeting room. I didn’t want anyone chasing after us, so I released the [Prison] I’d cast and created a new one with an expanded range. It covered the whole room we’d just left, preventing them from following us out. The spell was certainly one of my most versatile, I loved using it both to keep enemies out and to keep enemies trapped inside it. I’d set it to disappear after ten minutes, but I had a feeling the Gollems and soldiers would continue banging up against it until it eventually deactivated.
As we walked, Prince Hakim started speaking to Prince Frost.
“Er... Is it alright to leave your father in that state?”
“It is, yes. My father bases his every action on his hatred for your father. I refuse to have any part in it, not when it’s bringing my people to ruin.”
Prince Frost’s words caused Prince Hakim to react with a small laugh.
“...Did I say something funny?” Prince Frost narrowed his eyes slightly, clearly somewhat irked by the strange response.
I clutched my head in pain, but Karen had already started walking towards the young lovebirds. It seemed like she’d found her targets and wasn’t about to let go. If Karen got involved in your relationship, then it wasn’t going to end at a fling. They’d either fall head over heels or separate entirely, there was no other option. But I didn’t mind; Karen generally knew what she was doing. I turned to the Holy King with a burning question.
“Even if this works out with the princes, what about their fathers?”
“Well, ideally we could have the princes ascend the thrones, but that’s easier said than done...”
He was definitely right about that. I didn’t think the kings would be eager to relinquish their thrones to their sons this early. In the worst case, we’d just have to wait until they died, but it was entirely possible they’d disown the princes by then. As I grumbled my concerns, the Holy King continued speaking.
“I do not believe that Dauburn or Zadonia would disown their sons, as they are the sole remaining heirs... However, we can’t discount the potential of it happening. There have been many cases in the past in which kings have disowned their children and selected a successor from outside the bloodline.”
Personally, I hoped the kings wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that, but they didn’t exactly seem like the most level-headed of men.
“Well, maybe we could figure out a way for the princes to gain more power and, oh, uh... I guess it’s not really appropriate to talk about this in front of Glenn and Coldie, huh?”
“Nay, Grand Duke. I support the prince and believe he can do better for the people of Dauburn. The only ones who wish to maintain the war with Zadonia are the old folks in the nobility. The regular nobles and the commonfolk want to put an end to the fighting already. A lot of people get radicalized in their youth to fight for their country, but as they get older their rage is directed toward the nation that keeps forcing them to fight. Plenty of people have been fleeing the country for Allent, too... It’s a mess.”
Glenn certainly didn’t mince words, but I could see the sadness in his eyes as he looked down at his teacup.
Coldie nodded slowly and spoke up as well.
“I feel the same about Zadonia. Even if we won the war, we wouldn’t be able to handle Dauburn’s land. Most people don’t care about the war, either. If we look at Allent, we see a land with fair weather and fertile farmland. It’s only natural we’d lose so many people to migration for greener pastures.”
“Honestly, the migrants from your countries cause my nation no end of trouble. We’d love to gladly welcome them, but we do not have the resources to house and feed them all. Many have become bandits in our mountainous regions as a result. It has been quite the trouble for our people, and it has only gotten worse since the ascent of the current two kings.”
I understood the holy king’s anguish. From his perspective, it’d probably be better if Dauburn and Zadonia just collapsed. Though if that happened, there’d be a huge flood of refugees flowing into Allent, and he probably didn’t want that, either.
“So basically you’re saying the commonfolk of either country would be happy to lose their kings?”
“As someone born to commonfolk, I would be happy to see Prince Hakim in power.”
“As someone who sees the plight of the commonfolk, I would endorse Prince Frost’s immediate succession.”
Glenn spoke a little more vaguely, but Coldie seemed resolute. At the rate things were going, I feared maybe a coup was on the horizon. A forced succession through military action would only cause more long-term suffering. I wasn’t sure what to do at all.
I looked at the budding young couples talking to Karen and let out a small sigh. If only the kings of Zadonia and Dauburn could become that friendly.
“Maybe I really do need to kidnap them and use the suspension bridge effect...”
“I’m not sure that sounds like a very good idea, whatever it is...”
The holy king sounded a little frightened by my muttering, but I decided to ignore him.
I’ll get Doc Babylon to help me prepare for it... I’m sure there are some tools in the storehouse, hehe... Yeah, I’m getting a pretty good idea, now... Hehe... This is gonna work for sure...
“Touya-dono is making his frightening face again, he is...”
“Yep, that’s Touya for you.”
“I’m getting rather used to this...”
I heard Yae, Elze, and Hilde commenting from the nearby table, but I paid no heed. The two kings had been quite rude to me during my first meeting with them, so I felt it was only fair to help give them a little perspective.
Jaharade Bier Dauburn woke up in a white room. He didn’t recognize his surroundings, and could only really notice a dim light source from the ceiling. He wracked his brain to figure out how he could have arrived here. All he remembered was angrily downing some cheap booze and passing out. Now he was here.
“What is this?!”
The room was arranged as a perfect cube, and it had only a single door. But the door had no handle, and it wouldn’t budge no matter how hard he pushed against it. He wondered perhaps if the door had a sliding mechanism, but that yielded no result either.
He was trapped like a rat. The moment the King of Dauburn realized this, he immediately jumped to the baseless conclusion that Zadonia had done this to him. After all, Zadonia was the sworn enemy of Dauburn. That Mochizuki brat could wield unusual magic, he did not doubt that Zadonia and the boy had conspired to capture him. They’d killed his boy, and now they were going to kill him. The fury and anguish bubbled up in the man, so he started to violently kick the doorframe.
“Bastard! Release me! You’d imprison a man while he’s unconscious?! Fight me like a real man!”
Despite his screeching and hollering, no reply came. He walked to the other side of the room and charged towards the door, slamming his full weight into it. It didn’t budge an inch.
“Shit, damn it! You dare make a fool of me?!”
His breath grew ragged and uneasy, but the door didn’t open. King Dauburn stepped back and looked around the cubic room. He suddenly noticed a square button on the floor in one of the corners. He then noticed three other buttons in the other corners.
He stepped on one of the buttons. Nothing happened. He stepped on the other buttons, and tried to work out some kind of sequence. Nothing happened.
He paced around the room until he was exhausted, and eventually he simply sat down on the floor. But the moment he sat down, the floor began to rumble and vibrate. The wall to the left of the door began to sink down into the ground, showing him what was on the other side. When the rumbling subsided, he saw another white room past the wall. It was identical to the one he was in; they’d been placed side by side with only the wall diving them. His eyes widened in anger when he saw the man in that room. The man in that room’s eyes widened in anger as well. They were both seated in their respective rooms, apparently having performed the exact same actions.
“You bastard!” King Dauburn snarled, scrambling to his feet.
The man he saw was his worst enemy, after all. Junas Lem Zadonia.
King Zadonia also snarled and scrambled to his feet, muttering something inaudible as he pointed. King Dauburn knew that he was being insulted, so he balled up his fists and charged toward his hated foe. King Zadonia did the exact same thing, charging full-pelt towards his lifelong enemy. Neither of them stopped to consider why they couldn’t hear the other. Until it happened.
“Hngh?!”
“Gngh?!”
The two men slammed full-speed into the reinforced glass that divided their rooms. They ended up hurting themselves pretty badly as a result.
“Ghhh...”
“Hnnn...”
Both men rolled around on the floor, squirming in pain as they clutched their wounded faces. The entire scene was being watched by a few unimpressed individuals, hidden from sight.
“...Touya, do these men have brain damage?”
“If they didn’t before, they probably do now.”
Doc Babylon and I were huddled around a monitor watching the whole mess play out. She was completely exasperated by their stupidity, and it hadn’t even been ten minutes.
Once the men recovered from their injuries, they started to hurl insults at each other from behind the glass. Apparently they didn’t care that neither could hear the other.
“You utter bastard! How low must you have sunk?! Too scared to beat me in a fair fight so you had that brat capture me, eh?!”
“You utter bastard! How low must you have sunk?! Too scared to beat me in a fair fight so you had that brat capture me, eh?!”
“You miserable lout! You couldn’t rely on your own strength so you had to use that backwater brat’s power instead?! Pathetic!”
“You miserable lout! You couldn’t rely on your own strength so you had to use that backwater brat’s power instead?! Pathetic!”
“No wonder Zadonia’s falling to ruin with a man as petty as you at its head!”
“No wonder Dauburn’s falling to ruin with a man as petty as you at its head!”
Part of me wondered if these guys were secretly twins or something because their insults were in perfect sync.
“Touya, I’m starting to think we’d have a better chance at getting dogs to ballroom dance than getting these idiots to work together.”
“Well, a cornered dog might end up working alongside a cat if the situation calls for it. Let’s watch them and see how it pans out.”
I grinned slightly at the two men, who apparently weren’t done bitching at each other.
It had been an hour since King Dauburn had started yelling at his sworn enemy, but his throat was drying out and he was starting to realize the futility of his situation. He realized that no matter how hard he yelled, there wasn’t much point in it if the other man couldn’t actually hear it. But seeing King Zadonia yelling inaudibly at him caused his frustrations to surge.
King Dauburn started to actually take stock of the situation. His enemy looked as though he was imprisoned as well. Could it be that he’d been kidnapped, too? Could he not be the perpetrator of this act?
Just as doubt began to settle in King Dauburn’s mind, he noticed that one of the four corner buttons in his room had started to blink. He raised a brow in surprise and moved to step on it. Nothing happened. It blinked again, so he repeated the motion. Once again, nothing happened. He looked over to King Zadonia’s room through the glass, seeing that his foe was staring at his own blinking button in the corner of his room.
King Zadonia moved to step on it. Nothing happened. Much like King Dauburn, he tried again, to no avail.
King Dauburn felt a competitive nature rise up in him as he saw King Zadonia stepping on the button, so he started to step on his own as well. When the two of them stepped on the button at the same time, the doors in their respective rooms slowly rose up around ten centimeters.
“Oho?!”
King Dauburn dashed over to his door, trying to pull it upward with all his might. It didn’t budge.
“Hgh... Ngh... Ghhh!”
He spent several minutes wrestling with the door, but it seemed to be an impossible task. He glanced to the side and noticed King Zadonia straining against his own door.
“Pfft. What a fool, he’s just wasting his strength!” King Dauburn sneered as he spoke, completely ignorant of the fact he was describing himself only a few minutes ago.
King Zadonia noticed something, turning away from the door. King Dauburn suspiciously tracked his enemy’s movements and saw that another button was blinking in the other room. King Dauburn turned around, wondering if the same had happened in his own cell. Sure enough, one of his buttons was blinking. He moved to step on the button right away. Nothing happened. He tried a few more times, and the door eventually moved up again. He looked over and saw King Zadonia stepping at the same time as him.
“Hoh... Does the door only move upward when we both step at the same time?”
The next button in both rooms began blinking, inviting the kings to take their next step. The two kings glared at one another, but clearly they had the same idea despite the glass blocking their voices. They stepped on the next button at the same time. The doors moved up again, just a little bit. The two of them had proven their theory, so they moved to step on the final button at the same time.
A rumbling rang out as both doors opened fully.
“Tsk... His opened, too? That’s annoying...”
King Dauburn wasn’t super happy about the idea of helping his sworn enemy. At the same time, King Zadonia was doing the exact same thing in his own room.
King Dauburn’s door led to a long hallway that stretched out a long way. He kept up his guard as he proceeded down the hall, and eventually found himself at a staircase leading upward. The king noticed light emanating from above, and it was clearly from a natural source. He’d clearly been confined underground, but now he had a way out. He charged up the stairs and found himself emerging on a sandy shore. A shining sea stretched out far along the horizon. Wherever King Dauburn was, it was neither his nation nor Zadonia.
“...Just where is this place?” muttered the king, but he suddenly turned in shock as he realized another man had said the exact same sentence. It was King Zadonia.
“Bastard!”
“You fiend!”
Each man grabbed the other by the scruff of the neck, then they both flung out a punch. They fell to the sand, taking turns clambering over each other to punch each other in the face. They snarled and growled like wild animals, completely lost in the throes of fury.
“Return my son, you spineless coward!”
“Your son?! Why don’t you return mine, you filthy thief?!”
“Your country’s filled with thieves, maybe look at yourself before criticizing me!”
“Shut the hell up, your people are all liars!”
The two men continued screeching at each other, jabbing each other over and over again. Their actions were grisly and boisterous, something you wouldn’t expect from royalty.
“W-Wait, hold on!”
“Shut it! You think I’ll hear you out after all this?!”
“No, really! Look over there!” King Zadonia yelled out through bruised and swollen lips, pointing behind the equally battered King Dauburn.
“You think I’d fall for that?!”
“Hngh!”
King Dauburn shot his right fist forward, bowling the other man over with a clean hit. As King Zadonia tumbled backward, King Dauburn turned around and saw the grand duke of Brunhild sitting on the beach. He was casually lounging beneath a parasol. Donning a pair of sunglasses and holding a tropical drink in his hand, the man was the very picture of peace. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, though neither of the kings would know that. There was a little white tiger cub by his side.
“Wh—?!”
“That’s... what I was trying to point out!”
“Ghugh?!”
King Zadonia had come back in full force with a heavy dropkick to his enemy’s back. King Dauburn staggered forward and fell face-first into the sand.
“Pretty pathetic, aren’t they, Kohaku? They sure ain’t very kingly.”
“Right you are, my liege.”
“Don’t talk about me that way!” screamed both kings in unison as they charged toward the sneering grand duke.
But a creaking sound rang out, and the two men collapsed into a dug-out sandpit. They’d fallen for a completely basic pitfall trap. Even though it was only a simple mechanism formed of a dug-out area and some weak plywood boards, they’d charged headlong into it. They weren’t hurt by the fall as the pit was only two meters deep, and the bottom had been padded with slime cushions. The sand on the sides had also been packed properly, so it wouldn’t cave in.
“If you fail to look at the situation around you, it’ll end up biting you in the ass, fellas. Though I’d say your asses are plenty bitten at this point, right?”
“You little twerp! Who do you think you’re messing with?!”
“Don’t you dare talk ill! Who are you to trap and make a fool of me?! What are you after?!”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
The grand duke flashed a cruel grin and disappeared. Unbeknownst to the two, he’d shown up to direct their hostility toward a third party instead of each other, but he was clearly having fun jerking them around.
The two kings started clambering out of the pit, but it took them far longer than it should have. Why? Because whenever one man got a little further than the other, he was pulled down by his resentful foe. The men finally escaped, but covered in sand and muck.
“Gah... That little twerp has to be a demon!”
“W-Wait, what’s with the rumbling?!”
King Zadonia growled, but King Dauburn had picked up on the fact that the ground had been shaking every so often. He turned around and saw a terrifying sight. A massive, monstrous turtle with a black serpent coiled around it.
“GRAAAAAARRRGH!” The two men screamed as one, jumped up to their feet, and started running away with snot dribbling down their noses. The giant tortoise kept hot on their tails, stomping ahead as if to crush them. It was slow, but it took great strides, so unless they ran full-pelt they’d be caught by the beast. Desperate for their lives, the two men dashed as hard as they could.
“Our master certainly works us hard, doesn’t he?”
“He sssaid he’ll give usss a deliciousss feassst later on, ssso let’sss jussst grin and bear it for now.”
“Fair point. I’m looking forward to that tasty shortcake...”
“I’ll be sssavoring the deliciousss pudding.”
Sango and Kokuyou continued charging after the kings, maintaining just enough speed to never actually catch up with them. Ideally, they hoped, the two kings would run out of energy with which they could hit each other.
“J-Just where... are we...?” King Dauburn, finally spent of all energy, fell to the sunset-dyed sands with his arms spread out. King Zadonia, wheezing and groaning next to him, begrudgingly spoke up in response.
“How would I know...?”
“I wasn’t... asking... you!”
“You wanna... Fight?! You bast... Hh...”
The two of them rose up slightly to glare at one another, but they fell flat on their backs in no time at all. They were well and truly out of energy.
“I’m so hungry...”
The two muttered the exact same thing, causing them to scowl at each other. After a short pause, they simply looked away and grumbled.
Eventually, they found themselves more sleepy than hungry, and the two promptly passed out. Normally they wouldn’t do something so reckless as falling asleep near a hated foe, but a little bit of sleeping magic happened to make its way over their heads. The snoring men were approached by a young man and a tiger cub.
“They certainly dozed off fast.”
“People from the reverse world have a lower magical resistance, that’s all. Anyway, let’s get started on phase two of the plan.”
Touya took out two sets of shackles and chains from his [Storage], and quietly sang to himself as he clasped them around the ankles of the unconscious men.
“...You seem to be having fun, my liege.”
“Who, me? Not at all... This is all to help them become better friends. There’s no way I’d be enjoying this, Kohaku. No way in the least. Maaan, it sure is tough being a villain, haha.”
Touya dismissed the words of his animal companion and began to focus his magical energy on the two men.
“Brand, o Dark. Sinful Brand: [Guilty Curse].”
He’d applied special curse magic to them, though perhaps calling it that was a little bit too villainous. In this case, it was simply a way to curb their behavior. This spell could do all manner of things to people if they broke the taboo placed upon them. It could even rob someone of their life if used the wrong way. As such, this magic was considered forbidden by any civilized nation.
“Are you sure you aren’t going too far?”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. This is all setup, after all. It’ll pay off.”
The grand duke grinned wide, though his words did little to ease the tiger’s anxiety.
King Dauburn felt the shifting sands beneath him as he woke, proving that the previous day’s events weren’t just a bad dream. As he tried to stand up, still weak from his earlier exercise, he noticed a strange metallic jingling sound from his right ankle.
“What in the world...?”
His right ankle had been shackled and tied to a fifty-centimeter chain. Attached to the other end of the chain was another shackle, one clasped around the left ankle of the still-sleeping King Zadonia.
“Mmmh...?”
King Dauburn yanked on the chain, wiggling King Zadonia’s leg and causing him to stir from slumber. The man awoke to the sight of his hated enemy, and he immediately noticed he was clasped in irons. King Zadonia wearily scrambled to his feet, casting a scowl over at his foe.
“What happened here?!”
“How would I know?!”
The two of them snarled, each man gripping the other by the scruff of his collar. Thankfully, they weren’t actually stupid enough to believe the other man was responsible for this particular incident. They just wanted to vent out their frustrations.
“Does this mean I have to stay by your side?! I’d rather spend a full day vomiting!”
“I feel the same! But if you’re so repulsed, then go drown yourself!”
“How about you drown yourself?!”
The men started yelling, gradually escalating the situation until they began wrestling again. King Dauburn got the upper hand, straddling King Zadonia and raising his fist. He brought a punch crashing down towards the other man’s cheek, and... Found himself tumbling backward as if struck by some invisible force.
“GWUH?!”
King Zadonia was equally confused by this sudden turn of events, but he saw an opportunity to inflict some pain. He pulled back his unchained leg, ready to deliver a nasty kick to the broader man’s belly.
“Hngh?!”
But, just as King Zadonia’s foot made contact with King Dauburn’s soft tummy... King Zadonia clutched at his own stomach and fell to his knees. He was assaulted by a strange sensation as if he’d just been kicked very hard.
“Urgh...” King Dauburn slowly stood up again, looking at his hunched-over foe. Gradually, the dots began to connect in his head, but he needed to be certain. He gave King Zadonia’s back a swift kick, only for an invisible force to strike him in the back instead. He fell face-forwards into the sand.
“Ouch...”
This was all the proof he needed. He didn’t know why, but any damage taken by King Zadonia would instead be felt by him. He saw the skinnier man charging toward him, fists balled up, and quickly tried to raise his hand in an attempt to make him stop.
“Wait! Wait! If you hit me, you’ll be hurting yourself!”
“I don’t believe your nonsense, you— BWAUGH!”
King Zadonia performed a roundhouse kick, striking King Dauburn square on the neck. The moment the strike landed, King Zadonia was roughly knocked sideways.
“Idiot. I was trying to do you a favor.”
“Hrgh... Just what is this?!”
“Can’t say for sure, but that brat must be responsible for this. If I hit you, it hurts me! If you hit me, it hurts you! That little brat and his weird magic must be responsible for this!”
King Dauburn gently prodded at his own cheeks; he felt it just fine, but King Zadonia didn’t. Therefore, there had to be rules. The sensation might have only been transferred if it caused pain beyond a certain threshold.
King Dauburn suddenly smacked himself clear in the cheek, eager to test his theory. It still hurt him. He looked over and saw King Zadonia clutching at his own face, wincing in pain.
“B-Bastard! What was that for?!”
“Relax, you baby. It was just a little test. Interesting, though... Even self-inflicted pain is transmitted over to— OW!”
King Dauburn’s right arm suddenly started to sting really badly. When he glanced over to see the cause, he saw King Zadonia pinching himself in the arm.
“So the pain really is sent over, interesting... Or is it more apt to say that our senses of pain have been— AUGH!”
King Dauburn slapped himself on the cheek, knocking the wind out of King Zadonia’s sails.
“Why?!”
“Silence! This is just retaliation for what you did to me!”
“You started it, asshole!”
The two men scrambled, fists at the ready. However... they stopped just short of actually hitting each other. They jumped back and instead opted to punch themselves in the nose. They both screamed out, assaulted by the dual impact of their own punches and their enemy’s punches at the same time. They fell down to the sands, but immediately got back up and began punching themselves in the stomach.
“Bastard! Bastaaard!”
“You stupid asshole! Take this!”
The sun rose clear in the sky, shining down on the bizarre scene of two men ruthlessly beating themselves up.
“...Touya, I think these men might actually be stupider than non-sapient animals.”
“...Yeah, uh, gimme a minute. I didn’t actually plan for them to start doing this.”
Doc Babylon was just as exasperated as I was. I’d chained them together in order to force them to work as a team, but I hadn’t really expected them to start hurting themselves to spite the other. The whole point of the curse was to make them share their pain. If one of them was hurt, they’d both be hurt. If one of them died, the other could even die. I thought they’d begin taking things more carefully, but, uh... apparently not. I didn’t think they’d start swinging at themselves instead of each other.
“...Why are they even hitting themselves, anyway? They’d generate an equal level of pain by hitting each other.”
Doc Babylon was right, the pain was functionally the same no matter which one of them took it. I wondered if they were hitting themselves because it meant their enemy wouldn’t be able to dodge, there’d be a guaranteed chance of the other guy getting hurt. Frankly, I wondered if they were capable of that much thought, though...
I let out a disappointed sigh as I observed the men on the monitor.
“Huff... Puff...”
“Wheeze... Wheeze...”
The two men were laying on their backs, unable to take any more of the pain. The scorching sun above glared down at them as the heated sand lightly toasted their bodies. As they did, their pain began to fade away. This was the result of Healing magic cast by Touya, though the two certainly wouldn’t have ever been able to guess that. Their tummies rumbled as they lay flat on their backs. It’d been a while since either of them had eaten, and if they didn’t find food they’d run the risk of starvation. The two of them slowly rose to their feet.
“Guess I can catch some fish...”
“Guess I can forage for nuts...”
The two of them glared at once another, then immediately turned away. The two of them stood back to back before they started to move. King Zadonia headed toward the forest, while King Dauburn headed for the sea. The chains connecting them, however, had other plans. Once they had marched a suitable distance away from each other, they both fell face-first into the sand below.
“THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, BASTARD?!”
“THAT’S MY LINE, SCUMBAG!”
The two of them snarled at one another, butting heads like ferocious animals.
“Do you enjoy getting in my way, wretch?!”
“Don’t make me laugh! You’re the one getting in my way! You can’t just catch a fish that easily, idiot!”
“Pfft. I had a feeling you wouldn’t understand. I suppose it makes sense given your rivers are all frozen over. I’ve captured many fish in the flowing rivers of my fine oasis, ever since my youth. With my talent for spearfishing, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of—”
“Spearfishing? How are you going to do that without a spear?!”
King Dauburn realized that his enemy had a point, and simply grunted in annoyance. There were certainly no spears in the vicinity.
“You’ve no spear, no hook, no rod! How were you planning on catching fish?! With your hands?! Are you going to tell me you were going to catch seaborne fish with your bare hands?!”
“Grr!”
King Dauburn had never tried to catch fish with his bare hands before, so he definitely wouldn’t be able to pull that off. Loath as he was to admit it, his long-time enemy was right.
King Dauburn let out a defeated sigh. This only prompted King Zadonia to go on the offensive.
“And another thing, how were you going to eat the fish? Were you going to eat it raw? We can’t just create a fire from thin air! Has all that heat in Dauburn boiled your brain?! Foraging for wild nuts and fruits is the optimal solution, you oaf.”
“GHHHH! Well, Mr. Big Brain, how exactly were you planning on identifying the stuff you find, huh?! How would you know what stuff’s safe to eat and what’s not?!”
King Zadonia realized that his enemy had a point, and simply grunted in annoyance. He was royalty, so there’s no way he’d be able to do that. He had the finest cooks in his nation prepare all of his food, and he even had his food taste-tested. He could recognize basic fruits, but had little to no knowledge about which herbs, nuts, or wild plants were safe. The same was true for King Dauburn, though. They were both sheltered royals who knew little of survival outside their majestic walls.
“Honestly, why’d you even suggest foraging in the forest?! You wanna screw up and poison yourself on a regular day, fine! But don’t drag me along with you, I don’t wanna die because of that twerp’s magic and your stupidity!”
“I know some basic fruits and nuts! We won’t know unless we look, will we?! Or do you actually want to starve out here?!”
“You son of a—!”
The men were interrupted by their rumbling stomachs. The two of them sighed slightly, acknowledging their identical predicament. For a brief moment, their eyes met, but they quickly looked away from each other again. The two stayed as far apart from each other as possible, silently walking towards the forest in perfect unison.
“There we go. They’re Persimmo fruits.”
“Yeah, I recognize them. We imported them from Allent once.”
The two men eventually found a tree with red fruits growing from its branches. Persimmos were fairly common, but they couldn’t grow in the extreme climates of Dauburn and Zadonia.
The persimmos shimmered in the daylight, looking remarkably enticing. Unfortunately, they were far too high up. “Should we knock them down with stones?”
“You fool. We won’t be able to hit such small fruits from down here. And even if we did, there’s no guarantee they’d fall.”
“In that case...”
The two of them stared quietly at the massive tree. Ordinarily, this kind of tree would be easy enough to climb, even for children. But the shackles around their feet made things a bit harder.
“We have to try.”
“Mhm.”
The two men stepped towards the tree, their tummies rumbling in unison. This was the first thing they’d consciously decided to work on together, though neither man had actually noticed that detail. They slowly, but surely, started to scale the tree. To their surprise, the chain connecting them didn’t weigh them down, as if unaffected by gravity.
“Ack!”
“Ghah!”
King Dauburn lost his footing, causing him to tumble backward off the tree. Naturally, this resulted in King Zadonia falling as well, due to the chain binding them together. The curse triggered, prompting the men to feel the impact of two falls.
“Fool! Watch where your feet are!”
“I was watching!”
The two grumbled and immediately made for the tree again.
“Here. Place your foot on this part.”
“Here, shuffle over a bit. It’s a little dangerous there.”
The two of them slowly scaled the tree again, giving each other advice here and there. Eventually, they made it to the fruit. The branch creaked slightly, bending below their weight. Given there were two grown men atop it, that wasn’t too surprising.
“Hold on, we need to be careful.”
“I know that! Quit whining and—”
King Dauburn had reached out for the fruit, unable to finish his sentence before the branch snapped. The two men stayed there in agony, having just felt the pain of two drops from the height of a two-story building. But eventually, their gazes settled on the fruit, which had fallen along with the branch. They each grabbed one, wiping it on their clothes to clear any muck, and immediately bit into it. A sweet flavor danced along the tips of their tongues as they greedily wolfed down their reward.
“Ohhh, it’s nice...”
“Mhm...”
The two of them silently ate the rest of the fruit, going through two each in the blink of an eye. The taste of the fruits had likely been amplified by their extremely hungry states. They looked up and saw more of those tantalizing fruits on higher branches.
“We need more.”
“We do.”
The two men stood up and once again headed for the persimmo tree.
“Looks like they came together for that, at least.”
“Yeah, just as planned. Glad we put the tree there. I’m gonna have to fix up that branch, though.”
We watched the two kings on the monitor, but we weren’t all that impressed. It’d taken them far too long to get to this point, and they hadn’t really made much progress at all.
I grumbled quietly, staring at the object atop the main desk in Babylon’s research laboratory. It was a small box, around thirty centimeters tall and forty centimeters wide. Inside the box was a small diorama of an island. This was the island the two kings were currently on. It was a simulated world created through a fusion of Space-time magic and barrier techniques. There was an artifact similar to it in the storehouse, which I’d actually been sucked into a while back... That sure was a rough time... There was a board game and everything... This one was a safe pocket dimension, though. There was nothing meaningfully dangerous inside. Ideally, the two kings would learn to co-operate on the island and become better men.
“How are the princes doing?”
“All good on that front. Can’t really see it going wrong. Only the kings and their top nobles were in support of the war, so the populations are supporting their princes.”
Since the kings of Zadonia and Dauburn were now missing, their sons were acting as leaders in their absence. The people of each nation had only been informed that the kings had taken ill, but obviously, I told the princes the truth. I was honestly a little worried since I thought they’d object to me having that kind of control over their fathers, but they seemed okay with it. The holy king of Allent agreed, too, saying it was natural to discard a king who refused to serve his people. I personally thought that was a little extreme, but it was at least understandable.
I wondered if the two princes had already written their fathers off as lost causes... However, I decided to just hope that they had faith in me to reform their dads. That would make me feel better, at least.
The two princes had called for a ceasefire with each other, and they’d begun preparing for negotiations. The older nobles had expressed dissent towards the idea of peace, but they were quickly silenced by the savvy young princes. Apparently, they’d done their share of investigating, and found that many of the nobles had been dipping their hands into the national treasury, or taking shares from war supply convoys. They’d basically been making constant profit from the never-ending war machine. Thus, the nobles didn’t actually care about the people they were fighting. They just wanted to fill their own pockets. That meant the only people in all of Dauburn and Zadonia who actually cared about the war on principled grounds were... the kings.
Just like in the tale of the Emperor’s New Clothes, these men had their warped worldviews validated by those below them for insincere reasons. It was pretty pathetic, to say the least.
“OIIINK!”
“AUUUUGH!”
The two men yelled out in unison, fleeing from a tri-horned boar that had come out from the forest depths.
They’d set out a pathway earlier, so all they had to do was run toward the sweet spot without slipping up. All was going according to plan.
“Make sure to time it right!”
“Yep, I know! Three, two, one!”
King Zadonia counted down, prompting both men to leap over a certain something. The charging boar behind them didn’t jump and found itself tumbling into a large dug-out pit.
“GRAAARGH!”
“We did it!”
The two men cheered merrily as they looked at the fallen boar. It had been pierced by various wooden stakes they’d left at the bottom. The two of them snaked rope-like vines around the boar’s legs, pulling it up out of the pit. It was quite the bulky creature to shift, but the two of them were so excited by the prospect of fresh meat that they diligently worked together for it.
It had been two weeks since they woke up on this mysterious island, and they’d gotten used to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. They’d found an area with lots of easily-sharpened rocks, so they’d managed to fashion spears and arrowheads by combining various materials. The two of them had even managed to build a proper campfire and even a spit for cooking food.
The two kings had no idea that a certain grand duke had secretly been leaving convenient objects for them, dropping off useful raw materials like obsidian for them, or casting Fire magic at just the right moment, but that wasn’t something they necessarily needed to know. They’d faced danger together, risking life and limb. They were hounded by that tortoise-snake combo a few times, and they were even terrorized by a blue dragon... But, gradually, island life was starting to grow on them.
The two of them hauled the boar back to their beachside camp, where they carved it up with their obsidian knives. They then began roasting it. They didn’t know this, but the creature they’d killed was a tri-boar. It had flesh so succulent that it could even be enjoyed raw, and its native habitat was southern Lestia. It had been airdropped to the island via a certain spell, of course.
“What are we doing today?”
“We should go fishing. We’ve got spears now, after all.”
“Oh yeah, you old bastard. You’re supposedly good at it, right?”
“Bet your withered old ass I am. I’ll catch us a tasty one, for sure.”
The two men laughed together, happily munching on their meal. In the span of only two weeks, their relationship had completely changed. The two men, in tattered clothes and unkempt hair, couldn’t possibly be recognized as kings at a glance. They were just fellow castaways, trying to live their best lives possible in their new home.
The (not actually) harsh environment where they had (not really) struggled to survive had given them a newfound lease on life. The two cheerily picked up a spear each and set off for the water’s edge. But, before they could do that, a familiar sight appeared before them. The grand duke of Brunhild was sitting on the beach. He was casually lounging beneath a parasol and holding a fruity drink in his hand.
They narrowed their eyes on sight, their rage toward the man who’d brought them to the island impossible to quell. The two of them charged in perfect three-legged unison toward the lounging boy.
“You wretched little—”
“You wretched little—”
Much like the boar, and much like the first time they’d seen Touya on the island, the two men went plummeting into a pitfall trap.
“...I’m surprised they fell for that a second time, my liege.”
“Come now, Kohaku. They might not have changed in that way, but they’re certainly different in some other ways.”
“If you say so.”
Touya took off his sunglasses and casually wandered over to look into the pit. He looked like a typical tropical tourist in his Hawaiian shirt and beach sandals.
“Been a while, boys.”
“You little shit! How dare you!”
“Come down here and see if you can talk so big!”
The two spewed insults up at the young grand duke, but Touya was just impressed they had that much fight left in them.
“Now, now, fellas. I actually came here to show you something.”
“And what’s that?”
A video began playing, projected into the air above the pit. It showed a battlefield. Two factions were engaged in gruesome conflict. One side wore red leather armor, while the other wore blue mail armor. Dauburn and Zadonia were engaged in total war.
“What is this?!”
“Why are they fighting on such a scale?!”
The two countries were going all-out, both armies brutally clashing against each other. The two men had never seen their conflict represented in this way before, so it was no wonder they were so baffled.
The video showed soldiers impaled on spears, families crying over the corpses of their fallen loved ones, children stumbling through scenes of carnage, while the bedridden and sickly failed to escape.
The two kings silently watched the video, sheer horror on their faces. They’d stood on battlefields before, but only ceremonially. They’d barked their orders and retreated. They’d never had to face the reality of an actual fight before. The scene in the video switched, showing two young men clashing blades against each other. Though they were clad in armor, the two kings immediately knew who they were looking at.
“Hakim?!”
“Frost?!”
Their sons were evenly matched, but it was clear they were fighting with intent to kill.
“Why are our boys out there?!”
“Well, from what I understand... each country thinks the other kidnapped their king. Guess you guys must’ve been well-liked, huh?”
“You monster! You did this!”
“Don’t you feel any remorse?!”
The two of them looked heartbroken as they screamed out at the grand duke.
“Your boys are clashing with each other, just like you wanted. Aren’t they the same as you?”
“No! They’re only fighting because of a misunderstanding! You’re the enemy here!”
“Is that right? I’m sorry, but weren’t you the ones who constantly told your sons that the other side needed to die? Isn’t this the outcome you were hoping for the whole time? Oh, don’t look away. It seems like this fight might be reaching its conclusion.”
The two princes held their swords up, each scanning the other for weaknesses. They rushed forward, passing each other as their blades flashed. Each sword found its mark, and the two men had their bellies sliced open. Blood and viscera fell from their gaping wounds.
The two boys dropped to their knees and fell forward, a crimson pool forming beneath both parties.
“Hakim?! No!”
“F-Frost?! It can’t be!”
“Oh, too bad. Looks like it was a stalemate again.”
The two kings glared at Touya, furious at him for treating the death of their sons so lightly.
“YOU ANIMAL! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE MY SON BACK!”
“WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU, HM?! WHAT DID MY BOY DO?!”
“Hm? Shouldn’t you be thanking me? If you’d been out fighting instead, then it might have been you two who died rather than them. Try being a little appreciative.”
“What do you—?!”
The two tried to speak back, but the strangely frightening aura released from the grand duke stopped them in their tracks. They were overwhelmed by a sensation far scarier than anything they’d encountered on the island. They were like frogs being stared down by a snake, very much aware that they were nothing more than potential prey.
“Don’t give me that shit. You two have been complicit in this war from the start. Did you never think about how you could die? Or did you think being royal makes you immortal? Think about how many times you two nearly died here. Life can be snuffed out so easily.”
The video switched to a feed showing Zadonian and Dauburnian citizens. They were starving, shivering. The video changed to show images of the two kings eating lavish meals. Images of weary soldiers returning from battle came next, followed by pictures of the two kings pettily arguing with each other over small matters.
Remorse and shame began welling up in the two men.
“...Did we do this...?”
“I... Yes... But, Frost... My boy...”
The two men stared at the ground, seemingly reflecting on the truth they’d just come to realize. Tears began to well up in their eyes, and they sobbed for the sons they’d lost. Their immediate grief mingled with their shame, creating raw feelings of guilt and devastation.
They quickly became overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions. And, with that, they lost consciousness.
“Think that’ll be enough?”
“I should think so, yes.”
Kohaku answered my half-question as I finished casting [Sleep Cloud] on the two men. They were out like a light.
“Man, they sure seemed repentant...”
I snapped my fingers, undoing the [Invisible] spell on the two men nearby. It was Hakim and Frost.
“I wondered why you had us stage that mock fight with each other, but...”
“I never thought my father would cry...”
The two princes looked down at their fathers, muddled expressions on their faces. The video I’d shown them was obviously fake. I’d made the two princes stage a fake fight, and even went so far as to include fake blood and special effects. The other scenes were taken from memories of the citizens of both countries.
“I might’ve gone a little overboard, but this should work. If they still want to fight after all this, then I’m done. That might sound a little cold, but they’d be truly hopeless in that case. I’d just leave them to you.”
“Fear not, I promise you that Dauburn will never repeat its mistakes.”
“Indeed. I’ll bring peace to Zadonia, even if it means imprisoning my father.”
The two princes seemed determined. I wasn’t worried about them, to be honest. They seemed to be fast friends, and they had those Allent princesses connecting them as well.
“Right, then. Let’s put an end to this.”
I rolled up my sleeves as I headed toward the snoring, drooling, sleeping kings.
“Mnnnh...?”
King Dauburn awoke in his bed. Birds chirped outside, and he felt soft linen beneath his body. It was the same as usual... except it wasn’t. For the last two weeks, he’d woken up with sand beneath him, to the sounds of crashing waves. As his thoughts began to uncloud, he quickly jumped out of his bed.
“I-I’m home?! Isn’t this my room?!”
It almost seemed too good to be true. But, indeed, this was his room. He was back in Dauburn. He didn’t know how he’d gotten there, though. He quietly looked around the room.
“Was it... a dream, perhaps?” he muttered to himself as his eyes scanned the room, eventually, his gaze fell upon a certain object on the bedside table.
“That’s...”
He picked it up, and it jingled slightly. It was a metal clasp with a tiny piece of chain attached to it. There was no doubt about it, this was the shackle that had been around his ankle. He rolled up his nightgown, seeing a discolored patch of skin where the sun had been unable to tan his ankle. That meant it wasn’t a dream at all.
“Wait... Hakim!”
King Dauburn fell to his knees, grief overwhelming his form. At that moment, the very son he was mourning walked through the door.
“Morning, Father. Nice to see you’re awake.”
“Hakim?! H-Hakim!! Y-You’re alive, my son!”
“...Of course I’m alive... Should I not be, or something?”
“No, no! You should be! I’m just glad to see you! I truly am, my boy!”
King Dauburn reached over and embraced his son tightly. Prince Hakim, who hugged his father back just a little, filled him in on what had happened over the two weeks of the king’s absence. Now that the king was back, all authority would be returned to him.
“I’ve drafted a temporary ceasefire with Zadonia, since I didn’t want to fight while you were away. But what do you want us to do now, Father? Some of the nobles were saying it would be best to resume hostile action...”
Prince Hakim cleverly asked his father in a way that would be able to gauge intent. The king sat for a while in silence, but eventually spoke in a clear and present manner.
“Hm... Let us head to talk with them.”
“...Very well, Father. I’ll let everyone know.”
King Dauburn was, strangely enough, smiling. The look on his face was one of exuberance and determination.
Thus, a few days later... A camp had been established on the Lezalia plain, a stretch of land between Zadonia and Dauburn with a fairly normal climate. Though, traveling only a few kilometers in either direction from the plain resulted in harsh environmental conditions. The upper echelons of Dauburn and Zadonia were at this camp for a meeting. Prince Hakim and Prince Frost were, naturally, present as well.
The two kings eventually came into the main meeting room, taking a seat opposite one another at the table. They glared at each other for a short while, before King Dauburn finally spoke.
“Looks like you survived, you icy bastard.”
“Looks like you did too. Tell me, were you born this much of a loudmouth or did the desert heat fry your brain?”
The two kings started hurling insults at one another, causing their retainers to grimace slightly. The two of them stood up from the table, staring each other down with scrutiny. Everyone present assumed the situation was about to explode, but then something strange happened.
“Snrk...”
“Heh...”
To everyone’s surprise, the kings started snickering.
“Gahahahaha! So you made it, you piece of shit!”
“Wahahah! You too, you hardy old bastard!”
The two of them started laughing like idiots, sending everyone else in the room into absolute shock.
“Do you know how many nightmares I’ve had about that island?! It was the worst!”
“Me too! Man, it was awful!”
The two of them joked around, patting the other on the back and smiling wide. These men, who had a cat-and-dog relationship their entire lives, were suddenly palling around like old friends. Nobody at the table believed their eyes.
“I actually came here to make a formal declaration!”
“Well isn’t that funny! I came here for the same reason!”
The two of them winked at each other before turning around to their respective retainers and speaking the words they’d been wanting to say ever since they came back from their hellish vacation.
“I’ll be abdicating the throne to Hakim. These peace talks are his responsibility now.”
“And I’ll be having Frost take my place as well. Zadonia’s fate rests in his hands.”
The two men merrily announced their retirement. The former kings couldn’t help but smile, knowing that their hate was behind them.
“And then what happened?”
“Prince Hakim and Prince Frost ascended to become kings. The two countries are working hard alongside each other now...” I answered Yumina’s question as I leaned back against the couch.
Things had finally calmed down. Though it honestly ended up taking a while longer than I expected. It seemed to me that older people found it harder to admit fault.
The two countries became friendly, but the former kings still had it out for me. They didn’t tell their sons not to associate with Brunhild, though, which fortunately meant they now knew how to separate personal grudges from national policy.
“What about the Allent princesses?”
“All seems to be fine there. They should be getting engaged to the Dauburn and Zadonia guys soon enough, actually.”
“Wow! That’s lovely!” Lu peeked her head out from her book to smile at the good news.
I wasn’t quite as happy as the girls were, in all honesty. Even if it was nice overall, it still felt a little too engineered by the holy king. Part of me felt like he’d basically played me like a fiddle.
I made a strange kind of engagement gift gesture by asking Flame Spirit and Ice Spirit to mellow out the harsh environments of Zadonia and Dauburn, so things would slowly start to become better for their countries.
Hilde let out a little laugh as she placed her pen down.
“I’m glad that it was settled, I must say. I didn’t like the idea of a war still going on when we’d just brought about peace.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Though this world isn’t exactly a paradise yet.”
There was the looming issue with the Behemoths, the fact that the world barrier still wasn’t fixed, and then there was the rebuilding effort for countries that were hit harder by the Phrase. But worst of all was the stack of papers in front of me...
I picked one up and read it over.
“So, uh, who’s Earl Darlwein?”
“Ah, that’s one of mine. He’s an earl from Regulus. Oh, let me think... My great-grandfather’s younger sister married into his family.”
“So what’s your family’s current relationship with them?”
“Largely nonexistent. But they still have some royal blood in them, so they’re in the line of succession.”
“Guess that’s a name for this pile, then...”
I placed the earl’s name into one of the ranked boxes we’d set out. These boxes were brought out to establish hierarchy when it came to seating at my upcoming wedding.
Three of my fiancees were princesses, so there were a lot of people we needed to invite out of courtesy. Yumina, Lu, and Hilde were sorting through the names. I was helping, sort of. Technically, Sue and Sakura should’ve been included, but Sue fell under the same umbrella as Yumina, and Sakura was an illegitimate child, so they didn’t technically count.
I didn’t personally like ranking my wives, but public opinion stated that Yumina would be first queen, Lu second, and Hilde third. After that would come Sue as fourth, then Leen in fifth, Sakura in sixth, and Linze, Elze, and Yae after that.
Apparently Linze, Elze, and Yae’s positions were determined by the order in which they confessed to me. I didn’t have any hand in the ranking. The girls had figured it all out independently. Still, the ranking would only be for the sake of public appearances. We all agreed that they had equal footing in the relationship. Social formalities sure were a pain in my ass... I didn’t really care about selecting which guest sat where...
I wondered if Yae’s family, along with Elze and Linze’s, would be okay mingling with so many nobles and royals. Given how nervous Elze and Linze’s uncle was the last time, I half-expected him to collapse on the spot at the wedding.
“Uh... Marquis Pollon?”
“He’s in charge of Lestian finances. He’s been close to our family since my father’s younger days.”
“Then he goes in this box...”
Just as I was obeying Hilde’s instructions, Karen suddenly appeared out of thin air right next to me.
“Touyaaa!”
“What?!”
This irritating god-sister of mine had given up on any kind of subtlety, and now just teleported around whenever she wanted. It still scared the hell out of me!
“Damn it, Karen! I told you not to teleport like th—”
“There’s no time to lose, you know?! We need to go!” Karen grabbed me by the arm before I had any time to react.
Huh? What? What’s going on?
“H-H-Hold it, Karen! Where are you taking me?!”
“To the divine realm, you know?! Sorry, Yumina! I need Touya! Emergency family meeting!”
“Uh, okay...? Have a safe trip...” Yumina slowly nodded, shivering and clearly somewhat disturbed by Karen’s erratic behavior.
Sorry, what?! A family meeting?! With who?! What for?! But, before I could even ask, I’d been whisked away to the land of the gods...
Oh. My. God!!!
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