Bonus Story:
Mile vs. Reina
“Mile, I want you to go out with me.”
“Hm? Oh, um, I’m not really looking for a soeur or anything…”
“‘Soo-er’? What language is that? I was saying that I want you to go out and do some shopping with me.”
“Oh. I see…”
Despite Mile’s initial misinterpretation, going shopping was totally fine with her. Still, there was something that bothered her about the proposal. “Reina,” she asked, “you seem to invite me out now and then but never Mavis or Pauline. Why is that?”
“That’s because neither of them make me look good… Oh.”
“What?”
Mavis and Pauline were silent, but both of their faces spoke volumes. Now she’s done it…
Mile’s head turned toward Reina, her neck creaking with a certain unmistakable sound. There was a stiff smile upon her face, but her eyes were not smiling at all.
“What did you just say?”
“Oh, um, I didn’t actually say anything?”
Reina hurriedly tried to take back her words, as though she realized how bad they sounded. However, she’d said them far too loudly and clearly to pretend otherwise.
“I. Said. What. Did. You. Just. Say?!”
“Oh, j-just shut up! Look, when I’m with you, it’s just that it makes me look a bit bigger! In height and bust!” Realizing that there was no way she could cover this up, Reina explained herself clearly. However, with Mile, that was a bad move.
“I-I can understand the height, but our busts are pretty much the same size! Plus, you’re already sixteen, but I’m only thirteen! That’s like being proud of yourself for having a bigger bust than a five-year-old! That’s just sad!”
“Wh—?! Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what?!?!”
“What is it?!”
“Y-you little!!!”
Th-this is bad!!! thought the other two.
Mile, who almost never got angry, was filled with rage. Reina had merely refused to back down after realizing that she was in the wrong, but Mile was well and truly angry. This was turning very quickly into a bad situation. The way things were going, the next step was inevitable.
“I challenge you to a battle!”
“I accept!”
With little other choice, Mavis allowed herself to be designated as the referee.
“Can we not just come to a compromise?”
And so, the battle began.
Naturally, this was not a battle of swords or spells. Were it to come to that, things would not end well for either of the combatants or for their surroundings. Thus, the method of battle was as follows:
“Now then, let the one-round, no-limits, no-holds-barred ‘Roast Battle’ begin!”
With Mavis’s signal, the match was underway. Reina was the first to lob an attack.
“You flat-chested shrimp!”
“Guh… You growth-stunted runt!”
“Gah! You! Y-y-y-you stumpy little bean pole!”
“Gwuh! L-Look, it’s Reina the hag, so ugly even an orc would pass her by!”
“Gwah! Well, there goes Mile the washboard, so flat that when she goes to a public bath, the people tell her, ‘The men’s baths are that way!’”
“Fwah!!”
“Um, it looks like you coughed up some blood… Mile, are you ready to forfeit?” Mavis asked worriedly.
However, Mile shook her head side to side.
“N-not yet! I’m still in this!”
Then she summoned up all her strength, and…
“My, if it isn’t Reina, the woman of sixteen years, who, when she tries to smile and flirt with Ash at the weapons shop, gets scolded, ‘Whoa, settle down there, kiddo!’…”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”
“Oh, she’s fallen down twitching… Looks like we have a winner! The victory goes to Mile!!!”
Mavis grabbed Mile’s hand and lifted it high in the air.
Pauline, wishing to compliment Mile on her victory, then said, “Congratulations on the win, Mile! Still, it must be nice to have such a small chest. I’m so jealous. I bet it doesn’t even bounce around and get sore when you run. They don’t get sweaty underneath, your shoulders don’t get stiff, you can crawl faster, and you can even talk to guys without them ogling you! I really am jealous of you…”
“Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”
“Oh, she vomited blood and passed out… The victory goes to Pauline!!!”
“Huh?”
Pauline stared on blankly as Mavis grabbed her hand and hoisted it into the air…
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