Bonus Story:
Mile Makes a Drink
“I’ve recreated a drink from my old world!”
“Your old world?”
“Oh, um…I was saying it’s a drink from a little country called ‘Meuldwurld’!”
Mile shoved forward the cup in her hands, interrupting any possible retort from Reina.
“This is ‘Maksimum Kawfee.’ It covers up the bitterness that ‘kawfee’ is usually known for with an outrageous sweetness! Plus, though it’s called ‘kawfee,’ it’s almost heretical in that the ingredients, in order of the highest proportion, are first sweetened condensed milk, then sugar, and only last, kawfee!”
Mile had made some alterations to the brand name for the sake of avoiding trademark infringement, but given such brands did not exist in this world, it was unclear why she would go to the trouble…
“Then that’s basically just condensed milk with kawfee in it! Tell the truth!” retorted Reina, providing just the cue Mile was expecting. She still had much to learn.
Hearing this, Mile grinned. “Now then, hurry up, try it!”
As Mile had yet to discover actual coffee anywhere in this world, she had concocted a blend of similar-tasting substances such as dandelions, beans, chicory, and acorns, to which she had added heaps of condensed milk and sugar, finally coming up with something that at least resembled the original.
Mile’s recreations of her favorite foods were usually delicious. Therefore, though the other three were skeptical, they each timidly took a cup and took an itty-bitty little sip…
“That’s sweet!” said all three.
In this world, sweetness equaled extravagance.
“Just how much sugar did you put in here?!”
“Until it was saturated?”
“That’s way too much!!”
“No, that’s just the sort of drink that Max—er, ‘Maksimum Kawfee’ is. If it weren’t sweet, it wouldn’t possess Max—uh Maksimum Kawfee’s raison d’etr e !!”
“Just what kind of drink is this?” Mavis asked, stunned. She and Pauline wore the same expression.
“It’s said there was a war of excess…a bitter war between two rival companies over the amount of sweetener,” Mile started.
The trio’s shoulders slumped, wondering if Mile had done all this just to share that factoid.
“This is what happens when you empty out containers of condensed milk and kawfee, then mix them together in the containers you’re basically renting space from… In other words, ‘kawfee- rent ’!”
The punch line of Mile’s pun was far too emphatic for something that would not make sense to a single person in this world… Moreover, it wasn’t even funny. Mile was disappointed that not only had the others ignored her punch line, they hadn’t even acknowledged it. Alas, in this world, her quest was futile from the start.
Both chemically and linguistically…
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